Hey are you ever going to finish this? Because I really do like the store and I’m waiting on a conclusion to it. And also I can’t wait to see what Moka’s sister has in store for her and the ladies of the Harrell hair room also I kind of don’t blame Kurumu for having an attitude about moka being back because let’s be honest Tsukune kind a ignores them honestly when she’s around. And also the fact that there is now two Mokas is kind of crazy I wonder what is going to happen next. And I will say the scene between the Tsukune and Kurumu was kind of interesting to say the least. And I did feel still bad for inner Moka when she saw them being intimate with each other I know it must hurt her feelings but oh well.
Hi
Must admit I only know the story from other stuff I've read on the HF site but an interesting one and very much like your take on events. Not sure how you will get the two Moka's in the family but that probably still going to be easy compared to Yukari after her attack on Ruby. Although doubt Tsukune would be sexually interested in her for a few years yet.
One advantage of that however, which you may have planned, is that it meant Tsukune didn't get the message Yukari originally came to deliver about the Mota's being ordered back to their father, or about the attack that had occurred on them. If he had he might have done something rash to try and help them which could have been dangerous for him and his women at this point.
As I say I don't know the original anime but the way you explain Mota being split into inner and outer parts, i.e. her role in saving her mother's life and resultant damage and danger of turning into a ghoul. Is that canon or something your added for this story.
Anyway, great work, enjoyed it a lot and hopefully there will be more please?
Saxman66
Interesting chapter. The plot's thickening, clearly, so much so that some moments seemed to have been skimmed over rather than dived into. I don't recall having read earlier drafts of this chapter?
Damn this is as good as the DrunkenScotsman's work and I NEED MORE!!!!
The OC sister I did not see coming at first I was what the hell happend to Kahula then it dawnd on me that she was a OC xD
As for Miyabe & Burakku you wanted the reader to hate them and I say you succeded quite well. For me personaly if I had the power and was there... Let's just say they would be crying from joy once I finaly killed them.
And finaly the MASSIVE curve ball at ch6 with Moka's mother I did not see that coming in a million year's!
If you want this damn good story to be seen by reader's that number in the THOUSEND'S I highly recommend checking out RoyalRoadLegends.
Ok, so Just found R+V, and anime in general, and have gone nuts trying to find awesome fanfic for my fav titles. You have an eerily accurate "voice" when you write. your cannon chars are spot on, and your OCs are believable. well done. wish i could get alerts when you update, but im still figuring this site out. lol.
Definitely, and you conveyed it very well, the torment and suffering of all the characters involved in this piece. Things aren't looking particularly good for any of them right now, and reconciliation with Moka will likely have to take a backseat to just surviving against Bitaasu and Issa. Glad you've come back to this, and looking forward to the next chapter.
Well, that was brutal on the heart. Even the threesome with Tsukune, Kurumu, and Mizore didn't take much away from that for long. Sadistic choices, catch-22s, how many other ways to say that everybody loses no matter what choice Tsukune makes. I still really hope that Tsukune and Moka work things out somehow, but given Moka's violent jealousy issues from seeing what became of her father and mother and her mother's co-mistresses, that might not be in the cards. Still looking forward to the next chapters of this story, though.
this is great, shame chapter 4 leaves off on a cliffhanger.
Update soon love it story is great any other site I can see this
Hmm, so you replaced Kahlua? Ok, then. That aside, this was still pretty good. I like how you so far are still staying as true as you can to the characters' personalities and such while allowing for explicit sexy times between them. Glad Miyabi didn't actually rape Mizore, after all, but he certainly did leave her feeling violated, and also glad to see Tsukune beat the shit out of him, albeit with help from Bitaasu riling Miyabi up so he'd get sloppy enough for Tsukune to beat. Gonna be looking forward to the fallout of Tsukune admitting that he does genuinely love all the girls, especially with Moka's strong disdain for harems. And Kokoa has feelings for Tsukune, too? Plot does get thicker, it seems, much like certain parts of the male anatomy. Heh.