Where Darkness Falls | By : JME Category: +M to R > Neon Genesis Evangelion > Crossovers Views: 8996 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own this anime/manga, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Empty Skies of Darkness
Disclaimers:
I do not own Evangelion or Silent Hill, that honour goes (respectively) to
Studio Gainax animation and Konami Entertainment. Should either company, or any of their affiliates, request it,
this story will be removed from the web.
Thank you.
Author’s Notes: This is a crossover of Neon Genesis Evangelion and Silent Hill.
This ignores both the series ending and End of Evnagelion.
Co-written with Random 1377.
Misato Katsuragi drove back towards her
apartment in silence, the dull ‘thump thump’ of her Alpine’s wiper blades the
only sound within the small passenger space of the vehicle. The rain beat down on her windshield
relentlessly, the dark, leaden clouds reflecting her thoughts as if by design and
offering themselves to the idea that the entire world was against her.
It had been two weeks since the death of
Kaworu Nagisa. The Fifth Child…
Shinji’s best friend… the seventeenth angel… Tabris. Shinji had taken the boy’s death hard, and Misato readily
admitted that her discussion with the forlorn Third Child was a bit on the cold
side, but she would never in a million years have dreamed that he would vanish
the way he had, disappearing without a trace from the very hillside Misato had
left him upon.
Her latest update from Section Two – less
than an hour prior – had contained the same results: no word from Shinji, no
one fitting his description in any port or nearby city, no bodies with his
characteristics in any of the morgues… no clues as to his current location.
Misato arrived at her building and rushed
inside, doing her best to stay dry in the driving rain as she made her way
towards her apartment. Reaching into
her pocket for her keys, she sighed…who would have thought things could have come
out the way they had?
Ryoji’s dead… she thought, slipping the key into the lock, I haven’t been allowed to see Ritsuko since the last angel… Asuka’s
still in a coma…and Shinji…I don’t even know where the hell he could be! People don’t just VANISH – not with the kind
of security HE has on him!! She shook her head. Section Two has assured her that they were
doing all that that they could to find Shinji, and with her other duties and
paperwork, it wasn’t as if she could just drop everything and tackle it
single-handedly.
She unlocked
the door of her apartment and entered, catching herself before the words ‘I’m
home’ could form on her lips. Never had
she known it to feel so…empty. Misato Katsuragi felt more alone in that moment
than she ever had in her life.
Quickly wiping
her eyes (and telling herself that it was just rain dampening them) she picked
up her mail and walked into the kitchen, putting the small stack of envelopes
on the table as she headed for the fridge.
With an almost guilty air, she reached in and extracted a six pack of
beer, glancing over her shoulder and imagining that she could hear Asuka
jeering ‘I thought you quit! You’re
just a big lush!’
With shaking
hands, she set the beer on the table and pulled one off the ring. Asuka, she thought
tiredly, Even before the 15th Angel, she saw
Shinji as a threat to her position. He was the only one who ever beat an Angel
without assistance, and even though she trained for years, he was still better
than her near the end. She popped the top on the beer, but did not
drink, finding it easier to focus on all that had come before – as painful as
it was – than all that was currently happening. And after me and Kaji renewed our
relationship well… she sighed and took a small sip, a slight
grimace lighting her features as the coarse alcohol burned her throat. A lot of how Asuka acted towards her from
that point on was born out of jealousy, she was sure. What
the fifteenth angel did to her did not help her state of mind at all, but…
Misato bit her
lip, the beer in her hand momentarilygottgotten. She had also visited Asuka a couple of hours before, finding
(unsurprisingly) that the young German girl was still in a coma. Misato began to wonder if the girl would
ever wake up, lifting the beer to her lips and quickly downing it before she
could think about all teasoeasons she had quit. She did not care what Asuka’s
attitude was going to be – whether it was more ranting about how her life
sucked, or some remark along the lines of ‘I’m not your daughter and you’re not
my mother,’ or even if the redhead called her a drunken whore… as long she
would just wake up and come home so Misato did not have to be alone anymore.
She slapped her
forehead and found her thoughts trailing back to Shinji once again. I was never there…
she berated herself harshly, popping the top of the second beer with so much
force that a small amount of the amber liquid splashed onto her hand. I did exactly what
papa did to me and mom, even when I knew Shinji needed me the most. God, what must he have thought when he
looked at Rei?? And who knows how lonely he must have been… and how desperate
he was and…
Misato let the
thought trail off, trying to obliterate it with another beer… but it was no
use. She found herself wondering if she
had ever really been there for Shinji when he needed her, and knowing that if
she had, Kaworu would never have stuck his claws into Shinji and weaselled his
way into Shinji’s life. After Shinji
had killed Kaworu, Misato had started wondering if the angel had genuinely
cared. Looking back her words were
worse than unhelpful…
Perhaps I should have told him that I was
sorry that I was never there for him, and perhaps I should have told him that…I
cared about him. Misato sighed, Shinji’s ‘hedgehog’s dilemma’
made him rather hard to reach – but then again, wasn’t she the same way? She had certainly felt pain when she got
close to him, but still… wasn’t it a good pain? At least…in some ways? I wish I’d tried harder to reach him, she lamented sadly. Was I EVER
close to him? God, I used to think I
was doing ok, but now…?
Misato shook her head, looking back at what she had said to Shinji after
Kaworu’s death. He was right, she thought sadly, that was cold…
It should have
been clear to her after the sixteenth angel, and Rei’s apparent death, that she
was not as close to the boy as she would have liked, but did she do anything
about it? No, she decided, no she did
not. I wonder
if he was more afraid of hurting ME, she thought hopefully, opening the third can and feeling a slight
warming in her stomach as the drinks began to have their desired effect. Maybe if I pushed a little more he would have opened up to me that
night, so why didn’t I? Was I the one
that was running that night?
Misato sighed
and wondered if she would ever have the opportunity to reach him again.
She scowled as
she thought of her supervisor, the supreme commander of NERV – a certain Gendou
Ikari. The bastard abandoned his own son when he was 4, she thought, glad to have somethinse
se
to be mad at besides herself, and he was so full of
excuses and half truths that Shinji never had a chance to even get CLOSE to
finding out why he was left alone. All
he ever wanted was for his father to look at him – just once – and acknowledge
his existence…that was the least he could do… Misato bowed her head in shame, for while she could
not understand his reasoning for it, she knew that in many
ways, she was no better. When Shinji
needed it the most, no one was there to tell him it warighright, not his
father, not Asuka, not even she herself said ‘it’s ok, Shinji – you did what
you had to do. I understand.’
All she could
come up with was, ‘He didn’t deserve to live.’
At least he knew where he stood with the
Commander, Misato thought
darkly, he said up
front, ‘I want you to pilot.’ He never
offered more, or expected more. She took a long, slow pull off of the third
beer. And God forgive me, neither did I…
Bringing her
thoughts back to Kaworu, Misato wondered suddenly if he had actually been able
to reach Shinji. He had told the Third
Child that he loved him… but was he sincere, or was he just telling Shinji what
he wanted to hear?
She ran a hand
through her long dark hair, her face showing her worry as she picked up her
mail. Shinji please tell me where you are… she thought tiredly, I promise that we’ll work this out just if you just come home,
please I… she let her thought trail off as she went through her
mail, trying her best to lose herself in the mundane act. She found that she was already approved for
a low-interest rate credit card, a low-interest rate car loan, and a super
low-interest rate on refinancing her home.
She sighed.
Why do
I even bother?n lan lang=EN-GB style='font-style:normal'> She thought
disgustedly, shuffling through the envelopes.
“If it’s not someone asking for money,
it’s someone trying to give me money,” she muttered, frowning as she
spotted a handwritten address amongst the stack of junk mail, “at a low
introductory interest rate of course.”
She smiled to herself at her weak joke, glancing at the return address. “Silent Hill,” she read, glancing at the
postmark as she turned the envelope over and began tearing it open, “Silent
Hill USA, huh? Who would be writing me
from-”
Her throat
locked up and she sat down hard as she scanned the first few lines, her heart
clenching in her chest as a million emotions threatened to overwhelm her. She set the envelope down, but kept her hand
on it as if she was afraid it might disappear as she reached out and picked up
her third beer, emptying it with one gulp.
“N-now then,”
she whispered, struggling to control herself as she brought the letter up to
her face and read it very, very closely, not wanting to miss a single word.
Dear Misato,
I want to start this letter by saying I’m
not mad anymore – I think you should know that. I’ve had a lot of time to think about everything you said to me
about Kaworu, and I think I have to admit that you’re at least partially
right. I know now that I had no choice
in killing him, because he WAS an angel, and Kaji told me about what would
happen if an angel touched Adam, but… but even with all of that, it’s the
hardest thing I’ve had to do.
He told me he loved me, Misato.
Did you know that no one has ever told me
that they love me before? Until I met Kaworu no one had ever said those words
to me…ever.
When you talked about him like he was
just another angel, I knew I couldn’t stay with you anymore. Yes, he was an angel… but he was still a
good person, Misato. You would have
known that if you had ever talked to him, but you never made any effort to get
to know him. He was actually there for me when you weren’t, and you passed
judgement on him based on your own ignorance.
I never knew what you wanted from me,
Misato. I thought, for a while, that
you wanted to be my friend – but you don’t ignore your friends when they need
you, do you? You haven’t spoken more
than two words to me in the last month – did you even notice that? I have
always cared about you, Misato… but I just couldn’t stand the silence any more,
can you understand that?
My meetings with father were always tense and I never understood
what I ever did to deserve his treatment, but I knew that that was the way he
was, so I just accepted it… but that’s no excuse for what I did to you. I
should have been there for you when I learned that Kaji died, and I’m sorry,
it’s just that I didn’t know what to do… so I just stood there, saying nothing…
watching you cry.
I guess… I don’t know what I want to say
to you anymore, Misato – I’ve forgotten why I started this letter… so I’m just
going to stop now by saying: I’m sorry, Misato, for not being there for you
when you needed me most… for running away… for anything that I’ve ever done to
hurt you, I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
< lan lang=EN-GB style='font-style:normal'>
Shinji
Misato gaped as
she finished reading the letter. Shinji?
She thought dizzily, America… Silent Hill… how…?
She sat back in
her chair, clutching the letter tightly in her hands as if it was the most
valuable thing in the world – and at that moment, it was. “S-sorry,” she managed, blinking as two
tears pattered onto the paper, “y-your sorry…”
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