A not so bloody Valentine

A Not so Bloody Valentine
Author: Vamps
Pairing: ??/Farfarello
Warning: Bastardized Schu, though he does redeem himself.

Summary: Farfarello begins receiving gifts on the days leading up to Valentine\'s. Will Schu\ealoealous of Farf\'s gifts and attention, ruin the surprise? And who is Farf\'s mystery man? Fluffy, smutty, sweet, angsty, and an adventure.

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A not so bloody Valentine

~Part 1…. A gift for the madman~


The knock at the door sounded through the apartment and stopped the three men arguing. Crawford looked up from both Schuldig and Farferello and sighed, a hand going to pinch the bridge of his nose, even that right now couldn’t stop the impending headache. He watched Farferello growl as Schuldig smirked and flounced off to open the door.

“WHAT?!”

He pulled the door open quickly and his gaze fell on a spotty teenager fiddling with his nametag denoting ‘Jason’. He tried to keep the package in his hand from falling to the ground, whilst his jam-packed bag almost toppled him against its weight.

“P-package for….”

“OOOHHHHH a present”.

Schu grinned as he swiped the clipboard from the greasy haired boy who almost fell at the unexpected movement. His eyes were slightly panicked from the fastness of the redhead before him and the high pitched scream he’d just issued.

“I love presents”. He grinned again to himself, sticking his tongue out the side of his mouth as he began to sign.

The boy having composed himself, watched the signature and grabbed the clipboard out of the German’s hand before he got to the letter ‘U’ in his name.

“S’not for you sir”. The boy’s eyes grew wider and he stepped back a little when Schu’s face twisted.

“I WANT A PRESENT!”

Crawford blinked from the hallway watching with a bored expression at Schu’s outbreak.

“S-sir.... It’s for a Mr. Fa…. Farf-er-rel-lo? Is their s-someone here by that n-name?”

“NANI!!!”

Schuldig turned his gaze back to boy, looking at that instant in time like a spoilt little princess who didn’t get the toy they wanted for Christmas. He growled at the boy, making him step back further from the door, putting a good foot between him and the annoyed red head.

“I’ll get him!” He growled as he stomped back into the room. He sneered at Farferello as he grabbed him around the collar and pulled him, feet dragging, over to the door before crossing his arms and snarling at the injustice of Farferello getting a present over him.

“F-Farferello????” The delivery boy blinked and visibly tried to hide himself in his blue and red checkered uniform, the little hat falling over his eyes as he began to hyperventilate. It wasn’t every day you met a growling German and then a silver haired man looking like he belonged more in a freak show than in this upper class high street.

Farferello nodded, with a slight cock to his head as the package was handed over to him.

“S-sign there”. The delivery boy then handed him a clipboard, hands shaking enough to almost drop the pen, as he showed Farferello where to sign. Farferello nodded a little and did as he was instructed, keeping his grasp on the package as he handed the clipboard back over, and now stared at the box with brown tape around it.

The boy slipped the clipboard away and turned to leave…well run for cover before he remembered.

“F’got, you got a rose to”.

He handed the slightly crumpled black, stroke, violet rose over to the silver haired one, the rose itself in protective plastic, black ribbon tied around it and a note tied beneath it. Farferello took it, still confused and blinked as the boy ran from the door to his bike and sped off, sweat dripping down his face.

“They told me this WOULDN’T BE DANGEROUS, delivering is meant to be SAFE!”.

He whimpered a little as he turned into the traffic, praying he’d never go back there.

Farferello watched for a moment longer before closing the door with a swing to his hip as he turned, package in one hand, the rose in the other. He walked in, ignoring the others and especially the growl Schu aimed at him and moved to the kitchen table. He placed the slightly dented box amidst the breakfast bowls, which had been left during the argument about which film they were going to see later. Missions had been few and far between the last week and all were bored.

Tugging at the brown tape proved obsolete so Farferello pulled out his butterfly knife and sliced delicately along the tape, wondering what was in it. Nagi appeared soon after and stared suspiciously at the package.

“You don’t think that’s a bomb and the rose poisoned do you?”

It was to late though as Farferello had now tugged the flaps from the box open and stared at the contents.

Candy.

Lollipops to be precise, in all different flavors.

His single amber eye stared with vast interest as he pulled one from the box, taking off the wrapping and shoving it in his mouth. A vast improvement from his usual knives.

“Lemon”.

He grinned around the lolly as he sifted through the rest of the contents in the box.

“Fizzy, sour, strawberry, lemon…chocolate….” He grinned as he found that treasure, taking the lemon out of his mouth as he unwrapped the chocolate flavored one and alternated licks to both.

Nagi giggled a little before poking the rose. “Who’s it from?”

Farferello turned his gaze from the lollipops to the black slightly crumpled rose and took the note from the ribbon imprisonment. Needing his hands he placed both lollies in his mouth and grinned around them. Schuldig made a gagging “Eeeeewwwwwwww” sound aalkealked off to his room, obviously jealous that Farferello had a gift instead of him. The Irishman then opened the card as he sucked happily at both the lemon and chocolate lollies and blinked at the inscription.

‘Farferello…someone special likes you…. Love your secret Valentine x~x’

He blinked again, taking one of the lollies from his mouth and stared at both it and the rose.

“Well?” Nagi tried to peer at the card and pouted when he couldn’t see it.

“I have a secret admirer”.

All eyes turned to him mostly baffled and confused. He shrugged a little, before turning to glare at both, brow raised in suspicion. Maybe they were playing a prank.

Nagi pouted, as the look was turned on him.

“I don’t tease like that”. He sniffled, arms crossing indignantly.

Farferello’s single fiery gaze turned to Crawford who snorted at him.

“Why would I buy you sweets? You have your own money”.

With a twitch and a glare, Crawford stalked off to his office to do who knows what.

With a shrug and a giggle Farferello gave a lolly to Nagi to make up for the accusation and the boy grinned at him, eagerly unwrapping it as he watched Farferello pick the box and rose back up, before walking to his room. He was still confused to who might know him, and if they really did know him, and what he was like, what could they see in him?

He didn’t know the answers, but somewhere, his secret admirer was smiling inside.

Part 2 ~sweets for my sweet~


By mid-morning the next day Farferello had already eaten the lollies he’d been given the day before. Even going to the extent of giggling at himself in the mirror when he sucked a sour lolly but cackling when he watched Schuldig spit his out, face curling up and eyes closing in distaste.

The previous night after he’d taken a glass, one of Schu’s favorites much to his annoyance, he’d placed the rose in it, placing it in his empty room on the floor nearest the small barred window.

Before watching the film that night, he’d stared at it, re-reading the note. There was one person he wished it could be, but knew it couldn’t happen and with that thought hoped he would get another gift from his candy man, as he had so rightfully dubbed him. That night they’d rented a movie instead of going out. Schuldig still pissed at not getting a gift stayed in his room, growling telepathically to everyone and whining in short annoying out bursts whenever he saw Farferello with one of his sweets. Farferello though, didn’t seem to care and just giggled. Crawford just blinked, watching the movie with fast annoyance. He didn’t know what had possessed them to rent ‘Tomb Raider’ but it was driving him mad, by the end he’d fallen asleep, much to the delighted giggles of the two boys occupying the sofa with him. Now as Farferello sat on his cot chewing a knife he stared at the rose, counting down the hours of the day, until he hopefully received another gift. It was exciting. He’d never had an admirer before, valentine’s was usually lonely for him, especially when he’d been in the asylum before, but now it was something he looked forwards to.

The knock on the door at just past five in the afternoon had Farferello running along the hallway, as he came out of his room he skidded along the carpet in his haste and head butted the door, and ended up laying sprawled across the floor. He blinked up, as Nagi twitched and peered down at him before opening the door, and there in front of him was the same delivery boy from yesterday. He now looked even more twitchy and terrified of the man sprawled across the powder blue carpet starring up at him with a manic grin.

“GIMMIE GIMMIE”.

The delivery boy whimpered and handed the parcel over to Farferello, crying out as the package was snatched from his hand and torn into. The visual aid of the knife in Farferello’s pale delicate hands, sliding along the tape with practiced ease did nothing to calm him. Nagi watched with a grin as he took the clipboard from the very willing deliverer and signed for Farfie, his grin becoming wider as a rose was handed over again, a note ever present.

With a final squeak the delivery boy ran back to his bike, trying to calm his nerves and wondering if he could get danger money and prozac for such a job.

“CHOCOLATE!!!!”

Farferello grinned as he ripped the card from the box to reveal different types of chocolate, light, dark and white. Finally standing after his fall he took it to the kitchen table, giggling at Schuldig’s cry of jealousy and his pouting before he pulled the wrappers off the chocolate and began to devour his gifts. Half way through Nagi tapped him on his back, jumping back a little at the heated gaze turned on him before he offered the black rose, wrapped in plastic with ribbon. Chocolate-coated hands took the rose, pulling at the card and pulled it open. A smile gracing Farferello’s lips as he read the note.

‘I hope you enjoyed the lollypops, I know you have a sweet tooth, enjoy…. Love your candy man’.

He thrust the note into Nagi’s face, bouncing from his left to his right foot happily, eating more chocolate as he sniffed the delicate black rose shining a blue/black/purple when the overhead lights reflected off it’s shiny petals. Nagi grinned and bounced with Farferello, happy someone was being nice to him and that Farferello appeared less dangerous now he had something to look forward to. His eyes turned as Crawford entered the room from his office, the tiniest amount of surprise showing on his face as he blinked at the chocolate covered madman.

“Another gift from your Valentine?” During the previous night, amidst Schu’s whining he had found out what had gone on. Farferello nodded, showing him the note, now covered with sticky chocolate finger prints as he placed it in his pocket, tapping it with the palm of his hand happily and devoured more chocolate. After a few more minutes he sighed happily. Still a good few bars remained, and he handed one to Nagi, shrugging at Crawford’s decline of one.

“More for me”.

He grinned as he ran into his room, making sure to not trip on the carpet this time and placed the little note in a drawer with the other one, the rose positioned in the glass with the one from the day before.

He smiled, touching the velvety petals, an almost sane peaceful smile filling his face with life. His eye twinkled happily as he placed the rest of the chocolate in the bottom of his almost empty wardrobe. Afterwards, he turned and left, disappearing to the bathroom to wash his face, looking very much like a messy child, until he washed it off. Now sated that his admirer was in fact real and had sent him yet another candy treat he was able to function and set about annoying the rest of the household with his happy giggles.

Part 3 ~The pain jealously can cause~


The forth day into the gift receiving, put the date at the 9th of February. The day before Farferello had been very happy to receive his newest gift, a nice new in-scripted dagger. His ‘candy man’ who had also sent sherbet sticks and fizz, making him more hyper than he already was had written that he hoped Farferello liked the gift, and it’d mean something if he kept it close. The dagger with the ebony and green vine paneling had soon slipped inside the Irishman’s pocket as the fizz was devoured.

But at this very moment he was travelling back with Crawford and Nagi from a recent mission. It wasn’t even important, just a small party held for Valentine’s day. The whole time there Farferello growled at anyone, who came near him, just wanting to get home to see if his candy man had sent him anything. He now had a time; usually just past 5pm the delivery boy came to give him his gift. He bounced excitedly in the back seat of Crawford’s car, earning him a slight glare in the rear view mirror. He giggled as Nagi gawked at his hyperness and kept asking Crawford what the time was.

“Cra….”.

“Farferello it’s 30 seconds after you last asked me, it is three minutes to five okay!”

The American, had, had to put up with it all day, and returned his gaze to the empty road they were on. After a few more turns they entered the road where they resided, and slowly pulled up to the apartment. Before the car had even stopped moving Farferello was out of it, tripping against the still moving vehicle as he saw the delivery boy’s bike speed off. Running up to the door he pushed it open after fiddling with the small key and ran in, Nagi and Crawford slowly following behind hi
“S
“Schu where are my….”.

He looked across the hallway now littered with flower petals.

“…. Presents….” He finished as he took in the scene.

Walking along the powder blue carpet, he looked sadly and with confusion at the crumpled and almost shredded petals of the black rose that had obviously been sent by his admirer. Picking up the now bare stem of the rose, a single lonely petal gracing the thorny vine he looked up as Schuldig came from the kitchen, whistling a happy tune whilst licking his lips clean of the soft powdered cream, from the cakes he’d just eaten.

“I didn’t eat the apple.... It makes me ill”.

With a grin he handed the now squashed, oozing cake over to Farferello, the note sticking out of the top and covered with the soft gooey apple center.

“Schu what happened?”

Nagi came up from behind Farferello; he to had taken in the scene.

“I was sick of him getting presents. He doesn’t deserve them…so I took the liberty of having his presents”. Giving Farferello another cold smirk, he started laughing as he walked back to his room, leaving the madman crestfallen.

Farferello’s facial expression turned to that of pure pain and sadness as he clutched the ruined rose to his chest. He looked up at Nagi, his single molten amber eye, staring at him, now filled with un-shedable tears.

“How could he do that…”.

He sniffed as he took the note from the pie and forced it open, the stickiness coating it, making it more difficult.

‘I hope you enjoy the cakes, they’re my favorites, though I never indulge. Enjoy and think of me…. Love, your valentine’

The note brought a small sob of from Farferello as he refused to cry. His body shook with anger and fret as he continued to blink back the tears.

“How could he”. He whimpered softly as Nagi patted his arm.

“Look Farfie…”.

He turned the elder one around who tried to turn back at the sight of the fallen petals.

“Watch”.

A small telekinetic wind moved through the hallway, blowing the fallen petals into the air, so they swirled around him.

“They’re still beautiful Farfie”. The boy hoped his display would cheer the Irishman up and stop him from killing the red head.

Farferello nodded as he watched, missing the look of anger on both Crawford’s and Nagi’s faces. Even they were not that low to do such a thing to Farferello’s things. The silver haired one held his hands out as the petals swirled around him before they settled into his hands.

“You could…press them…”.

Farferello looked to Crawford, head tilting a little at the suggestion before he smiled just a little and nodded.

“I guess….”.

Slowly he made his way back to his room, laying the petals around the glass with the other three roses in it. Wiping the card, to get rid of the stickiness he put it back in his drawer before vowing to get back at Schuldig for ruining his gift. Both Nagi and Crawford watched as Farferello went solemnly to his room. Nagi realizing just how important the gifts and the admirer was to Farferello. Growling softly to himself, he made note to turn the cold taps on and the warm taps off when Schuldig was next showering. He left to finish his homework as Crawford stared a moment before returning to his office.

“I hate you Schuldig”. The Irishman whispered as he concentrated on straightening the petals he could rescue that weren’t forever shredded, at that moment the silky softness of the rose and sweet written words from his admirer did nothing to ease the mental pain inside.

Part 4 ~how does he know these things?~

“ITAAIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”

Schuldig ran out of the now freezing shower and into the kitchen where the other three members of Schwarz were eating breakfast. Crawford raised his brow at the naked man before turning back to his coffee and paper as Farferello and Nagi fell about laughing, Nagi almost choking on his cereal at the shivering German.

“YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

He lunged for the boy only to be stopped by a yank to his hair, as Farferello tightened his grip.

“You should be glad I’m not doing to you what you did to my rose!”

He let the red head go who left with a growl and a glare, stalking back into the bathroom.

“Leave the fucking water alone!”

Nagi giggled and Crawford turned his cool gaze on both he and Farferello, instantly quieting the giggles for a second before the motion became too much and they both burst out into another fit. Crawford glared back before pulling his paper back up, hiding the small smirk present on his face at the incident.

Schuldig finally emerged showered and clothed, glaring at both as he sat down. He blinked at the lack of food and coffee and cursed in German.

“I’m going for a cigarette!”

The others didn’t acknowledge him, one use to his out bursts, the other two giggling all over again.

Farferello as told had pressed the petals between two books and Nagi had helped with the compressing weight. He wondered what to do with them but for now, decided to keep them safely closed in the book now sitting in the drawer with his previous notes from his loving admirer. He contented himself that Schuldig wouldn’t be able to get his gift today and went about doing his usual routine which didn’t include much but wasted the hours away.

By the time 5pm came, he’d already had more giggles at the German as Nagi had continued to torture him throughout the day, had eaten the cookies both he and the boy had made, completely annoying Crawford who had to clean up the mess itself and had re-read his notes. He smiled as the knock at the door came just in time and moved to it, pushing Schuldig out of his way and growling in warning. He opened the door and blinked in surprise at a new person, now called ‘Jake’. It appeared that Jason, had broken down and had packed the job in. He giggled a little earning him a glare from the boy with spiky black hair, cool gaze and an obvious arrogant attitude. After he signed, his package was almost thrown at him, rose landing on the floor when he didn’t catch it in time and glared as the boy left. Shutting the door to the murmured “freak”.

He made his way to his room, shutting the large metal door with a soft clang, and gently began to open the present. He stared in delight.

“Hershey’s”.

He giggled, remembering Nagi having called them chocolate kisses before.

Opening the packet he popped one into his mouth, eye closing at the mouth watering taste before he looked through the rest of the contents, finding this time cream filled cakes that Schuldig had eaten the day before, before he could. He blinked at them before popping another chocolate in his mouth and tugging the card from the rose’s plastic, smiling at the open bud of soft luxurious petals.

‘A little bird told me German’s are not to be trusted with other’s presents. To make up for it I hope you enjoy these. I can’t give you a real kiss but maybe these will substitute for now…. Your loving though miffed at the asshole, admirer’.

Farferello giggled a little, a smiling breaching his lips as he ate another of the sweets before delving in to eat the cake. He re-read the note as he ate, licking the cream from his lips and sighing at the delicious taste.

/substitute for now? Does that mean he wants to kiss me?/

Farferello’s heart fluttered at that. He’d love to meet his admirer, but wasn’t sure if it’d break the suspense and fun he had of getting the presents and notes. What would he do, if his candy man changed his mind about him when he really got to know him? Could someone really accept a god-hating madman who hadn’t exa exactly sane for some years?

He blinked a little, finishing the cake and licking his fingers free from the cream. With a small smile he stood from the bed, placing his gifts into the drawer with the others and the rose in the glass with the other three. Only four days now to Valentine’s…. He wondered if they’d ever meet and if they did would he be disappointed?


Part 5 ~what would you say…?~


The next day all Farferello could do was think about his admirer. He really wanted to met him and yet didn’t. He thought once they met, they wouldn’t like each other, and he couldn’t help but think this would all be some joke. He didn’t know who it could be; though Schuldig had squicked him with a few ideas that Weiss might be doing it. He couldn’t even imagine the man behind the words, but knew he at least must know about him to know where he lived and what he liked and not be afraid that he was crazy. The Schuldig incident with his presents made him wonder at how his admirer knew. But today, he sat lounging on the sofa, feet curled behind him as he picked at his nails, half listening to the television and half to what the other members of Schwarz were trying to say quietly.

“He doesn’t even know this guy and he’s all mushy over him, it’s so sweet”.

Schuldig snorted at Nagi.

“He’s a freak, it’s the only attention he can get”. More laughter followed from the man after the snick of a lighter and the smell of tobacco filled the room.

“Take that outside dammit Schuldig”.

Crawford crinkled his nose at the smell, before pushing past them to do his work.

“Reminds me, we have a mission the 14th and you will be going, no ifs nor buts”.

Crawford gave a last glare at the three males, warning them to not argue before he went into his office, door slamming shut slightly.

After a moment Farferello moved on the sofa, tugging the remote from where it had slipped down the arm of the sofa and began flicking through channels. An advert on one caught his eye and he took down the number, placingin hin his pocket.

“Nice if we ever do meet….”.

He sighed softly; sitting around was not one of his likable things to do. He was at least glad since the gifts had been coming he hadn’t been locked away in his cell. Crawford seemed a little less annoyed at him because he wasn’t as annoying when occupying himself with his gifts. As he sat sprawled, watching Nagi come through the kitchen to sit next to him, sandwich in hand he wondered what the others would think if he met his admirer.

“Nagi?”

He waited for the boy to turn and look at him, after taking a large chunk out of his sandwich before grinning.

“Hai?”

Farferello moved a little closer, not wanting Schuldig to hear him if he came back in without his knowing.

“If my admirer asked me to meet him and I agreed would you be angry?”

Nagi considered a moment before shaking his head negatively.

“It’s your life Farfie, but if you do, don’t get your hopes up, I wouldn’t want him to hurt you”.

Farferello nodded, touched at the boy’s concern for him.

“If he did I’d gut him”.

He giggled as Nagi choked a little on his sandwich.

“I wouldn’t think anything of you otherwise Farf”.

He grinned as he devoured one sandwich and then started on another. Nagi seemed to have the quickest metabolism he’d ever known; yet he never put weight on for all the food he ate. After a few more minutes of watching cartoons after flipping the channel Farferello turned back to him.

“I have an idea for a present…wanna hear?”

Nagi nodded and they both huddled together, whispering to themselves and giggling, thoroughly confusing the German when he walked back in.

“Don’t you two ever stop!”.

He whined a few more moments before turning into his room, the door closing with a loud slam.

“He is so jealous!!!”

They both giggled at Nagi’s comment, agreeing the idea would be good before they went their separate ways. Farferello staying on the sofa as the time slowly ticked away.

Part 6 ~tick, tock, tick, tock~


At almost 6pm Farferello was frantic. His package hadn’t arrived yet and thanks to Schu’s taunting and teasing he was beginning to believe that nothing was coming. Nagi watched him intently; trying to console him about packages being sent late to deliver, but it wouldn’t work.

Farferello stood up and paced the hallway, wearing feet marks into the soft carpet as he chewed on a knife, seriously not liking the wait.

“What if he doesn’t like me anymore?”

Schuldig sniggered, not being able to resist the comment.

“You mean what if he wised up and realized how ugly your ass was?” His snicker turned into a muffled “Oompphh” as Nagi shoved a pillow in his mouth.

“The delivery boy will be here soon Farf”.

Farferello nodded a little before sitting down, cross-legged in front of the door. One hand skimming along the soft strands of the carpet as the other hand held a knife between his teeth. The other three left him to his own devices. Crawford blinking at just how needy Farferello was acting. He turned away after a slight look crossed his eyes; the door to his room slipping closed quietly.

The ticking of the hall way clock about drove Farferello mad, and soon the ticking stopped with a loud smash as a knife found itself embedded in the thing. Farferello was so intently staring at the broken thing that he jumped at the knock on the door before he stood, pulling it open. His face lit up with a smile when a rose and a smaller package was presented to him. This time by a girl. He raised his brow to her and she giggled, handing the clipboard over.

“Jake was nasty to his customers, he got fired yesterday”.

She smiled at him, as he grinned happily at the gifts.

“Must be some great guy”. She grinned, taking the clipboard back and walked over to her bike.

He nodded, slowly closing the door, staring at his gifts.

The girl giggled, her long blue and silver hair swinging from the ponytail she wore as she hopped onto her bike. She waved a moment with a grin before speeding off to her next delivery.

Looking at the contents, he sat back down on the floor, stroking a petal from the rose before he started to open the cardboard box containing his gifts. His amber eye widened at the contents.

Incased inside a black velvet cloth was a brand new eye patch. Pure leather and soft to the touch. Farfie grinned, his was getting ratty and he’d needed to buy a new one, but just never got the time. The next item was an envelope. Inside were vouchers to a newish shop in town.

“Sins of the flesh…. Cool”.

He’d seen the shop before. It dealt in clothing for the alternative life style; Farferello had been caught staring many a time at a blood red pair of bondage pants with black zips and straps. He had more than enough to get them with the $200 gift voucher. Placing these on the floor besides him, he rifled through the last few contents. He opened a small box and giggled at the contents.

“New earrings”.

He snickered, fingers tracing over them. Most were silver but the last two were gold and would contrast nicely. The last thing, a bottle of black nail varnish. He raised his eye at that before grinning to himself, gently slipping the note from the rose and reading it.

‘I hope you don’t mind a change from the candy…. I thought you’d have fun in that new shop and I hope you like my other gifts. Maybe I can see you in them if you agree to meet me on the 14th…. No need to worry about confirmation. I’ll know…. Always yours…. Your secret valentine’.

“He wants to meet me”.

Farferello smiled, piling the things into the box and standing before his face fell.

“But I have a mission….”.

He pouted, staring at the carpet before running into the main area of the apartment.

“Crawford.......!!!!”.

Crawford looked up at the whining tone and rolled his eyes, folding the newspaper he was reading and placing it on the table.

“What?”

“I have a favor to ask”.

He grinned, pulling himself up to sit on the table in front of him.

“Don’t say no till I tell you it all”.

Crawford sighed. He hated when people said things like that…. You always knew it’d be bad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

TBC