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A Whisper in Darkness	By : smutwenches Category: +S to Z > Trigun Views: 4986 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-A Whisper in Darkness
- 1
A Whisper in Darkness
by Jaina and Arafel

This is what happens when you mix together two authors with a yen for
something plotless and add a late-night Friday chat.
Jaina: It's all Arafel's fault! Really not mine this time!
Arafel: She encouraged me to do this, the blame is shared.

***

    Meryl told herself that it was out of habit that she
slipped out of her bed to go check on Vash long after they�d both gone to sleep.
It was silly to be worried about him after the day�s events. Even though the day
had started with a terrifying attempt on Vash's life, it had ended with him
emerging from the pit of despair that had kept her and Milly walking on
eggshells. For the first time in weeks, she actually felt hope that things might
be all right after all. Still, she continued down the hall towards Vash�s room.
    It was like�like work. Since they�d arrived in this little
nowhere, Meryl had made taking care of Vash her most important task. In her
working career, she�d always made a point of doing a damn good job on anything
to which she was assigned. It was difficult to shift her focus after
concetingting on something for so long, that was all. That had to be why she
held her breath as she tiptoed into hirkenrkened room, trying not to wake him as
she squinted for a glimpse of his sleeping form to reassure her.
    Tonight was different from all the other nights she had
crept down the hall to look in on her charge. Meryl wasn't sure she understood
all of what had happened that afternoon, and she probably neveuld.uld. All she
knew was that she had finally found the words to defend Vash and the courage to
stare down a man who was going to shoot him, and the thought of Vash lying dead
on the sand was somehow worse than the thought of the same happening to her. No
one had been hurt � and at the end of it all, once the townspeople had cleared
off and the girls had sliced through the ropes binding Vash, he was a changed
man.
    And then� A faint blush stained her cheeks at the memory.
Then, with no warning at all, Vash had bounded up from the sand with dawn
breaking on his face and hugged her. Not a little one, either. It was a
heartfelt snuggle into her neck followed by a backbreaking bear hug. Meryl had
smacked him a good one for the second half of the embrace, but the first part
had been just fine as far as she was concerned. More than fine, actually.
    Vash had never touched her with any kind of affection
before. He had thrown her off a few times when she had tried to stop him or
restrain him in some way, and that hardly compared to what had happened that
afternoon. It was enough to get her thinking � thinking that maybe she could
tell him what she was feeling someday, once the whole mess with Knives had come
to a conclusion. And damn but he had been nice to hug. She hadn�t quite
expected that.
    Meryl stepped into Vash's room hesitantly, not wanting to
disturb him or to have to stammer out a plausible explanation for why she was
sneaking in. The third moon had nearly set, and for the next few hours, none of
the satellites that circled their dusty planet would glow in the sky. There was
still enough moonlight coming in at the window for her to see that Vash was
sleeping soundly. Meryl's lips curved in a small smile as she watched him.
Before, it had been easy to sense his pain when he slept. He'd held himself
rigidly, unable to give himself a moment of solace even when he was resting.
Tonight Vash was sprawled on his side, one arm grasping the pillow that his
cheek rested on. He was facing her, but his eyes remained shut, his breathing
deep and even. Meryl wasn't sure when she'd last seen him look so peaceful.
    Uncertainty filled her as she watched him. He was resting
comfortably. Any danger that threatened him in the form of the townspeople or
his own mind had gone away. Vash didn't need her with him any more. Who do
you really want to console, Meryl? Vash or yourself?
    The relief that Meryl had felt since Vash had given her an
honest smile for the first time in weeks ebbed as she considered what lay before
him. She'd be lying to herself if she pretended that the danger gone. Now that
he'd stopped teetering on the edge of sanity, Vash had one last task to
accomplish and one more person to face. Knives. The word sounded so harsh, even
in her mind. It didn't seem like a name that should belong to a member of Vash's
family. This was the man that Vash would have to deal with. Vash would leave her
to confront his brother, and for once she knew with cold certainty that she
could not follow.
    Knowing that he was going to leave didn't stop Meryl from
wishing that he wouldn't. Maybe Knives would kill Vash, out there in the
unknown. Maybe Vash would defeat his brother and choose not to return, leaving
her in uncertainty the way he had done after Augusta. It was all the more reason
for her to sit in the dwindling moonlight to study his scruffy, beautiful face
and commit every contour and line to memory.
    Meryl brushed a stray lock of hair away from Vash's face,
moving delicately so she wouldn't wake him up. His hair was so soft, faint gold
in the last light, and she let her fingers move farther into his unruly mop,
taking a liberty she wouldn't have dared if it wasn't Vash's last certain night
with them. I might not get another chance to touch you, to see you, she
thought, extending her feather-light caress down to his cheek. Maybe never
again.
    The light was almost gone, giving the scene a dreamy
unreality. Vash muttered a little, shifting in his sleep, and Meryl jerked her
hand back. Damn it. I almost got caught. She almost got up to scurry back
to her room before Vash coulke uke up completely, but he settled down so that he
was more on his back and didn't move again. His face was in profile against
deepening shadows, mouth slightly open.
    What if... what if.... oh, no. Meryl leaned closer
to Vash, a terrible but highly appealing idea spilling into her head, prompted
by the sight of the curve of his lips in the dark. She wanted to know, just once
before he left, just once before he might pass out of her life forever, what
those lips would feel like pressed against hers. It was stupid, and a complete
invasion of Vash's personal space and his privacy... but here in the warm dark,
it felt like she was capable of anything.
    The thought was overwhelming and all-consuming. Meryl
struggled against it, but the more she tried not to think about it, the more her
mind supplied her with tantalizing images of how it would feel and how much she
would like to find out. Hardly believing that she dared, or that she was even
considering it, Meryl leaned over and touched her lips to Vash's, finding him
completely by feel in the now-moonless night.
    The kiss was as light as it could possibly be and still be
called a kiss, but that didn't stop her lips from tingling at the contact. His
lips were warm and soft, not chapped and worn like much of the rest of his body.
His mouth fit against hers just so, as if it had been waiting for her all this
time. Meryl chastised herself for the whimsical thought, but she remained where
she was, savoring the moment. A kiss stolen in the night could hardly be ranked
as a milestone in anyone's life, but she knew she would always remember this.
She held the kiss for a few seconds longer before exhaling a quiet breath, ready
to pull back and slip away before she pushed her luck too far.
    Meryl was grateful that Vash hadn't awakened and thus
nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt his lips move to press against hers,
kissing her back. A sharp, sudden tremor went through her entire body as she
held back a squeak and prepared to jump away and babble apologies. Before she
could, she felt his arm brush against her as he reached a hand up to cup her
cheek. The caress and the kiss were as light and tentative as hers had been, but
he wasn't pulling away and he clearly wasn't asleep. After a few more seconds of
stunned stillness, Meryl summoned the will to kiss him back. The strangeness of
the situation made everything seem unreal, even more so when he gently brought
her down against him.
    I cannot believe this is happening. Meryl bent down
over Vash, her entire being focused on the soft motion of his mouth on hers. Her
balance faltered as Vash's arm tightened around her back, and she rested her
weight on the edge of the bed, one knee pressed into the mattress. The light
sweep of Vash's tongue against her lower lip distracted her completely from
keeping her balance, and somehow Meryl suspected that he knew what effect he was
having � he was already moving over and taking her with him. A furious blush
rose to her face as she realized that she'd gone from stealing an innocent kiss
to lying in bed with a man she desired deeply. But it felt so good, so right...
    Vash's body was warm and solid against hers, and his hands
moved lower on her back to hold her tight against him. Meryl murmured softly
into his mouth, and a shiver ran through her at his answering purr. She nipped
at his lips, teasing and tasting, exploring the new sensation of kissing him.
Vash's mouth opened under hers, and a twist of heat raced through her as the
tips of their tongues brushed. Meryl's knees went to water and she made an
approving noise deep in her throat, and Vash responded by deepening the kiss
even further.
    She was lying on top of him now, her breasts pressed
against his chest, so Meryl slid her arms around his shoulders to bring them
even closer. She could feel her heart rate pick up as their tongues moved
against each other, tasting and caressing. She let one of her hands run through
his hair as both of his roamed over her back in a gentle massage. All her senses
were filled with Vash, and the feeling was frightening. This was too close to
being exactly what she'd wanted with him. It felt as if she might wake up any
second, alone in her room.
    Her nervousness increased sharply when Vash pulled away,
rolling her gently to the side. She waited for him to say something, but
instead, he tugged at the top sheet and blanket. After a moment, Meryl
understood and lifted herself up so that he could pull them from beneath her.
Once he'd settled things so that they were both under the covers, Vash groped
blindly for her hand, and she let him bring her into his embrace once more. Her
lips found his again, but for a long moment they simply lay together, sharing
breath and closeness in the dark.
    They were both trembling. Meryl felt him shake when she
reached out to find him, her fingertips tracing the curve of his jaw. Vash began
to breathe a word that might have been her name, but she put her hand over his
mouth, silencing him. No words, Meryl wished him strongly, shuddering
when he nibbled at her fingers. No words, because that will make this all
real. Maybe it was for the best, to say what they needed to say to one
another in the warmth of one another's bodies. The inevitable confrontation hung
over both of them like a shroud, gagging them both for speech... but the way
Vash's hands moved over her told a different truth.
    Meryl let her fingers drift down from Vash's face and over
his throat, noticing for the first time that his chest was bare. She flattened
her hand against his chest, carefully testing where she could touch and where
she couldn't. The newer scars were probably too sensitive, but the older ones...
Her fingers brushed along ridged scar tissue, moving along the lines of the
twisted maps of his history, and Vash let his breath out in a long exhale.
Whether it was because it felt good or because he realized that she wasn't
afraid of him or the way he looked after all, Meryl didn't know.
    She let her touch wander around to his back and her hand
slid down his spine to rest just above his ass. He made a soft sound in the back
of his throat and moved into her touch, encouraging her to continue, and in the
end she couldn't resist a squeeze as she held back a giggle. Vash scooted even
closer, moving against her, and she let out a silent puff of air when she felt
something that promised more than silent kisses. Her face heated up as she felt
Vash's arousal against her thigh through his pajama bottoms, and she was glad
they were already lying down for fear that the sudden dizziness might have
forced her off her feet anyway.
    Meryl closed her eyes, images swimming through her mind as
Vash's hands traveled down her body. Was this something she really wanted? It
might be their only night together�but it might be their only night
together. She envisioned them moving together, Vash moving inside her. The
tempting image flew from her mind when she felt Vash's lips move to her neck,
suckling gently. Meryl let out a soft moan despite herself and knew that yes,
she did want this. Whatever they could give each other tonight would have to be
enough.
    The slight pressure of long fingers on her upper thigh
reminded her in a rush of heat that her shirt hardly left anything to the
imagination. Meryl was glad that the dark hid the ensuing blush, and she was
very aware that not much more than thin cotton was separating them. Vash curled
his fingers around thetom tom of her shirt and lifted it upwards, letting in a
rush of warm air on her belly. The shirt refused to budge beyond a certain point
thanks to the buttons, and Vash growled in frustration.
    Holding in a laugh, Meryl found his hands and guided them
up to her collar. She fitted his fingertips around the top button and was
rewarded with a noise from Vash that could be translated as okay, I get
it. The laugh bubbled dangerously close in Meryl's throat again when she
thought about how glad she was that she didn't wear a bra to bed. Vash might be
the quickest draw on the planet but she had a feeling that undoing bras in the
dark would probably be beyond him. He wasn't having trouble with her shirt,
though.
    The amusement dissolved into a gasp as Vash finished with
the buttons and fit his hand around one breast. Meryl let out aky aky sigh and
closed her eyes. His fingers were gentle and cautious, and she felt her nipple
stiffen under his exploratory touch. She became aware that Vash was pushing her
down onto her back, and his mouth was busy at her neck again while he teased her
with the ball of his thumb.
    Warm breath moved from her throat downwards, his lips
tickling her sensitive skin, and Meryl was unable to stifle a soft moan as his
mouth closed over the nipple he'd been touching. Vash sucked at it, rolling his
tongue around the peak. As if in answer to the barely-audible sounds she made,
he shifted, nuzzling her other breast before he slipped his lips over it. His
good hand moved up to the abandoned breast, squeezing gently and stroking her
skin.
    Meryl shifted restlessly beneath him. The temperature in
the room seemed to have risen drastically, but she only wanted to be closer. She
put her arms around him, rubbing his neck with her fingertips, urging him on as
she felt him sigh beneath her touch.
    Vash lay full-length on top of her, and it only took a
small movement for her to shift her legs so that he lay between them. Without
consciously considering her actions, she lifted her hips, rubbing against Vash
and giving delicious pressure to the spot that had begun to burn with the need.
Vash stiffened in surprise, ceasing his motions, and she took the opportunity to
push him onto his side, shrugging off her shirt as they went. Wriggling down so
she could reach, cursing their difference in height all the while, Meryl kissed
his chest and let her fingertips trace over the hard muscles of his stomach and
then lower to the waistband of his pants.
    Slowly, unsure of what would give him the most pleasure,
Meryl brushed her fingers over the bulge in his pants, a ghost of a touch. The
little hitching breath he gave encouraged her to give him a firmer stroke. She
smiled with some amount of pride at the quiet growl that seemed to emanate from
the back of his throat. Nipping at the skin on his neck, she carefully slipped
her hand into the front of his pants.
    The strangled moan Vash made as her fingers closed around
his erection was all the reinforcement Meryl needed. The waistband of his
pajamas restricted her angle of attack, but she was able to press the heel of
her palm against the head of his penis while she grasped the rest of the shaft.
A very pleased grin spread over Meryl's face as she took stock of how Vash sized
up compared to other men she had been with. His length was certainly...
proportional. A needy whimper from Vash encouraged her to continue her
explorations, and she slid her hand further down to find the rest of him.
    The pants had to go. Meryl slid her hands around to his
hips and hooked the elastic under her thumbs. She pulled gently at the fabric
and lifted it up and away so that it didn't catch on anything vital. Vash seemed
to agree with her idea, and she suddenly found another pair of hands helping her
to take the worn pajamas off. With the pants gone, Meryl was free to press
herself against him, skin to skin, and she reveled in the heat of his naked
body. Vash's length burned against her, and she reluctantly separated herself
from him to touch him once more. The thought of Vash, his head thrown back in
orgasm, sent hot shivers through her and Meryl licked her lips in anticipation.
    He was moving almost unconsciously, grinding his hips
against the steady motion of her hand. Meryl brought some of the wetness
gathering at the tip of his penis down to the place where the head met the shaft
and stroked firmly with her thumb. Vash's breathing grew more labored and she
heard him moan softly with every motion. She quickened her pace, resisting the
urge to run her tongue along his length and really give him something to yell
about.
    But tonight... she didn't want tonight to end that way.
Instead, she eased up on her motions, stroking his belly instead as she waited
for his breathing to slow. Vash caught her hand in his and brought it up to his
mouth so he could kiss the back of her hand. She started to chuckle, but the
sound was cut off when he abruptly pressed her hand to the pillow behind her
head, rolling her onto her back. Before she could blink, Vash's mouth slid down
her neck, and he paused briefly to nibble at her breasts before continuing to
her stomach. Any ticklish feelings were immediately quashed when Vash reached
between her legs, touching her through the useless cotton of her panties.
    Meryl was sure he could feel through the material how wet
she already was. This was confirmed when he wasted barely a moment, immediately
grasping the elastic and sliding her panties down her legs. He tossed them
somewhere over his shoulder. Meryl didn't particularly care; it seemed that
nothing existed outside of this bed, outside the warm circle of Vash's arms.
When he returned to her, she hugged him close and kissed him, delving deeply
into his mouth, reveling in the power of the moment. For the time being Vash was
hers and she was his, and nobody and nothing else mattered. Hands roved as they
kissed, feeling and teasing, pressing against one another tightly.
    After a short time the growing need in between her legs
overshadowed Meryl's desire for closeness. Smiling impishly, though he couldn't
see it, she rolled Vash onto his back. Pushing herself onto her knees, she
climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. The feeling of him lying beneath
her, totally under her power, was intoxicating. Vash reached between her legs to
touch her and she breathed something between a sigh and a moan. Not wanting to
wait any longer, she tried to lift herself up to take him inside, and found to
her surprise that she couldn't move an inch.
    Vash's left hand was firm on her hip, keeping her in place
so that Meryl had no choice but to stay where she was. The feeling of power she
had over him quickly gave way to an exposed vulnerability. Her legs were spread
over him, denying him no measure of access, and from the slow and lazy motion of
Vash's fingers between her legs, she knew he was aware of that. Meryl gritted
her teeth and tried to control the moans gathering in her throat.
    Probing fingertips parted her folds, and Meryl was unable
to suppress a loud and shuddering sigh when Vash found the spot he was looking
for. Her arms began to tremble under her weight, but Vash didn't let her hips
move at all. He brought some of the moisture between her legs up over the center
of her pleasure and began to stroke with more pressure, circling the area with
two fingertips. Meryl moaned imploringly, the need between her legs building
further with every motion. His touch was delicate and careful, and she bit her
lip hard against a loud cry when he caught her swollen flesh between thumb and
forefinger to work it back and forth.
    Her breath started to come faster, and before long, Meryl
was panting hard and strainagaiagainst Vash's teasing hand. She still couldn't
move, but she found she could rock her hips a little, and the wonderful
frustration of needing more and not being able to get it was driving her crazy.
She sobbed, dropping her head down to Vash's shoulder, and she heard him groan
in response. His fingers pressed harder into her, sliding over her in earnest.
    Heat was spreading down her legs, and Meryl squinched her
eyes shut as she felt the muscles in her belly begin to flutter. She bit at
Vash's neck, and she heard his breath hiss through his teeth. Just a little
more... please... The grip on her hips suddenly relaxed, and Meryl cried out
as she was finally freed to move her hips against his hand as hard as she
wanted. Her control faded completely in the rush of heat cascading through her
groin, and Meryl felt herself dissolve into orgasm, her inner muscles clutching
at emptiness as Vash's touch brought her to the peak.
    Vash's arms went around Meryl, catching her as she
collapsed in his arms. She clutched at him as her body relaxed against him, her
mind fuzzy in the aftermath of orgasm. He stroked her back and shoulders,
surrounding her with warmth as she recovered. They lay together that way for a
long while, and Meryl tried commit every detail of what it felt like to memory.
His breathing was deep and even, a reassuring sound in the darkness. She
pondered breaking the silence to ask him what he felt, but she was too afraid of
shattering the moment.
nbspnbsp;   After who-knew-how-long, Meryl shifted position to ease
the feeling of pins and needles in one leg and realized exactly what he must be
feeling when she brushed against his lingering erection. The poor man was being
so patient and he hadn't even had the chance to take his own pleasure yet. She
closed her eyes briefly, an involuntary purr growing in the back of her throat
at what he'd been able to do to her. Still, it wasn't fair for her to be the
only one who had been satisfied, and she had yet to feel Vash inside of her. It
was something a large part of her desperately wanted to know before he left, and
they might never have the chance again.
    Meryl nibbled on Vash's throat, provoking a groan from him
before she rolled herself out of her languorous pose. Reaching down to gauge the
appropriate distance, she brushed her fingers against his penis and felt an
answering thrill shoot straight to her core. A wicked smile spread over Meryl's
lips. Vash was blindly unaware of the revenge she had in mind, and that was just
fine by her.
    Meryl straddled his hips once more, bracing herself with
one hand while lifting his shaft up to just touch against her. A deep groan from
Vash indicated how much he wished that she would continue, but she held him so
that the tip of him just brushed her entrance � enough for him to feel how ready
she was. He pushed against her, and she cocked her hips so he slid against her
without entering. Meryl rubbed him against her, raising and lowering her hips,
until Vash was slick with her wetness and still very unsatisfied. A strangled
gasp emanated from his throat, prompting a chuckle. His hips jerked upwards �
perhaps she had just gotten lost? � and she returned for a brief moment, just
long enough for him to feel her nearness, before pulling away once more. Vash
whimpered, and Meryl didn't have to be an expert in non-verbal communication to
interpret the sound as u aru are evil."
    Her laugh could easily be understood as "Turnabout is
fair play."
    Meryl leaned forward on her elbows to kiss Vash, amazed at
how ardently he responded when she knew that other parts of him were crying for
attention. She wouldn't have been surprised if he'd finally just rolled her over
and taken her. In truth, it might have been fun, but she was tired of playing.
Slowly, wanting the feeling to last this time, she moved back on him, guided him
to the right spot with her hands, and sank back on him, letting him slide into
her ever so slowly.
    Soft, pleading gasps followed her progress down. Meryl bit
her lip, thrusting her hips against him a little at a time, giving her body time
to adjust to Vash�s length. Vash�s breath was harsh and irregular, and she
wondered how long it had been for him. A little voice in the back of her head
reminded Meryl that she herself hadn�t been interested in anyone since she�d
been assigned to Vash. Well, we�re taking care of that now, aren�t we,
she thought.
    Meryl settled herself on his hips and remained motionless
for a moment, making sure that she was ready for him. There was no question that
Vash was ready for her � his hips lifted under her, trying to move into her even
as she pinned him to the bed with her weight. Meryl shifted forward and placed
her hands just above his shoulders, lifting her hips for another stroke. She
leaned down and found Vash�s lips in the dark, and the two of them kissed while
Meryl established a slow and steady rhythm. Before long, the sweet pressure
began to build up between her legs again, and it excited her even more to
realize that this time they were working for it together.
    Vash�s heat filled her and touched all the right places
inside. A whimper escaped her lips as her body began to scream at her for more
speed, more friction. His answering cry filled her ears, and Meryl suddenly felt
his hands come up to clasp her hips. His fingers dug into her, encouraging her
to move, and Meryl closed her eyes at the shock of excitement it brought.
That�s it, she thought, following the pace his hands were setting.
Show me. Show me what you want�
    Meryl shifted all her weight forward onto her arms,
letting Vash work her on him, leaning down to put her lips against his throat.
His head was thrown back, and the sounds of his pleasure vibrated against her
mouth. The muscles surrounding him were hot and loose, and all she could feel
was Vash moving with her and inside of her. Meryl rocked her hips with his beat, tingting to hear him, feel him, taste him all over her. It seemed like she had
been waiting forever for this perfect union, no matter what Vash really was. It
didn�t matter. She loved him, desperately and absolutely, and if this was the
only language that they had, then she would have to make sure he understood in
this one unreal moment.
    Meryl tried to deepen their thrusts even as Vash increased
their pace. The tiny portion of her mind that was still capable of thinking
coherently didn't want this feeling to ever end, though her need for release
built with every stroke. As long as he was with her, inside her, she could keep
him safe. Make him happy.
    She moved to kiss him again, but a sudden series of
involuntary whimpers leading to gasps impeded her progress. There it was again -
the delicious tightening of the muscles in her lower belly. Her back stiffened
as she tried to stave it off and let the moment continue, but Vash's unrelenting
motions just pushed her closer to the edge. A thrust, and another, and she froze
completely, mouth open in a silent cry as she convulsed around him, all
sensation rushing to where they touched and leaving her lightheaded with
pleasure.
    The fingers still gripping her hips flexed with an almost
painful force, and Meryl felt Vash writhing underneath her as she rode out the
last shocks of her orgasm. His motion inside her was almost frictionless, and
his limited thrusts came short and fast and shallow. Meryl ground her hips hard
against him, willing him to lose control, wanting to hear him as he climaxed.
Vash's breathing was harsh and guttural, and he began to shake as she continued
to work on top of him.
    A sudden tightening of his grip was Meryl's only warning
as Vash lost all control. A harsh moan tore from his throat as he thrust wildly,
giving no thought to gentleness as he pumped into her again and again. Vash
arched into her and froze for one long instant, issuing one long, low cry as he
spasmed inside her. His last deep, desperate thrust was almost painful, but then
he relaxed all at once and went limp, still breathing hard. Meryl followed him
down to put her head on his chest. Vash's heart beat quickly, and he shivered
under her in the tiny shocks of afterglow.
    It was difficult to move through the post-orgasmic
languor, but when she felt Vash begin to go soft within her, Meryl lifted
herself away and resettled herself next to him. Vash�s arm curled protectively
around her back, and Meryl rested her head on his shoulder, feeling only his
warmth next to her and not the rough patches of scar. Her hand moved in idle
patterns on his chest, memorizing him with touch this time, never wanting to
forget this moment if she should never see him again.
    Vash seemed to be doing the same, because his light touch
was exploring the lines of her face, gently tracing her cheekbones and the curve
of her lips. Meryl kissed his wandering fingertip, and his chest shook in a
noiseless laugh under her cheek. He cuddled her close, his hand tangling in her
short hair. In return, she fit herself against him, reaching up to pet the
stubble along his jaw. A moment of whimsy prompted her to finish the caress that
had started this whole unexpected tumble in the dark, and Meryl slid her fingers
into Vash�s hair. It was damp with sweat, and she smiled, remembering why that
was so.
    Meryl pushed his hair away from his face and gently ran
her nails along his head. Vash made a very happy noise, and she scratched a
little harder, stifling a giggle. What would the insurance company say if they
knew that the most feared man on the planet liked to have his head scritched
like a big cat? She kept up the motion until Vash caught her wrist and brought
her hand down to his lips to press a kiss into the palm of her hand. Sudden
tears sprang to her eyes at his tenderness, and Meryl buried her head in his
chest and bit her lip hard to keep from crying.
    Vash tightened his arms around her and Meryl felt his
breath grow slow and even. She closed her own eyes but didn't try to sleep. The
feel of his heart beating under her cheek, his warmth surrounding her�no matter
how tired she was, there were no dreams that could compete with this feeling.
    Meryl wondered if she had made a mistake. They said,
whoever "they" were, that ignorance was bliss. She'd never believed it.
Knowledge was a good thing. Knowledge gave you power, gave you means to carve
out something resembling a decent life on this wreck of a planet. A few hours
ago, she'd been ignorant. She hadn't known what it would feel like to give in to
her feelings or have Vash acknowledge that he felt the same. Now she did know,
and the pain that tore at her heart was almost enough to make her want to take
it back. She knew what it felt like to really love Vash, and she knew for the
first time just how much she would lose if he didn't win the fight with Knives.
Knowing all this, she still had to let him walk away. I have to let you go.
But how the hell can I?
    Meryl didn't move for a long time. Only when the light of
the rising moons began to filter back into the room did she stir. She couldn't
be here in the morning when he awoke. What they had shared was wonderful and
indescribably precious to her, but it was something that could not exist in the
daylight until Vash had taken care of his business and freed himself to live
without fear. Besides, if she spent the entire night in his arms, Meryl knew
there was no way she could watch him leave her without breaking down entirely.
    Vash's arms grasped for her when she sat up. There was
enough light in the room now for her to look at him and see that he was looking
at her questioningly. She just smiled sadly at him. I can't stay. You know
that.
    He nodded once, slowly.
    Meryl sighed and fumbled around the pillows for her
nightshirt. Vash handed it to her and she slipped it over her shoulders, not
bothering to button the entire thing. He rolled onto his side and didn't even
pretend not to watch her. For a second Meryl thought she glimpsed tears shining
in his eyes, but no, that had to be a trick of the moonlight. Vash reached up to
touch her face and she leaned in to kiss him one last time.
    His lips were warm and soft and sweet against hers, and
Meryl concentrated hard on the feeling. Tears threatened again and she knew that
if she didn't leave soon, she never would. Vash's arms encircled her in a tight
hug, and she unwillingly broke the kiss, snuggling into his bare shoulder.
Come back, she thought, unaware that her mouth had breathed the words as
well until a nearly inaudible "I will" tickled her ear.
    You had better, Meryl thought, making sure to keep
her words to herself this time. Relief and hope began to lighten the sense of
anxiety and despair she felt at the thought of him going. You had just
better. I'm not through with you yet, Vash the Stampede, and for the first time
I think you're not through with me either. This time I can let you go, because I
think you really will come back.
    The moons rose higher in the sky, and Meryl knew it was
time. Leaving Vash was the hardest thing she had ever done, but she did it. One
last caress, her delicate fingers over his callused gunman's hands, and she
padded across the cold floor to the hallway and then to her own bed. Meryl's
cheek was cold with the tears that had finally flowed after she closed Vash's
door, but there was happiness mixed with the loss. The darkness was kind, and
sleep came quickly once she had crawled back into her own bed, still feeling the
wa of of Vash's body. A last, fleeting thought flashed through her mind before
she sank into unconsciousness.
    He'll come back. He promised.

***
"Vash will come back, won't he, Meryl?"
"Hmm?" Meryl tore her thoughts back to the present. Milly was watching her
with happy, hopeful eyes. "Of course he will." Meryl smiled into the sun and
remembered a whispered promise in the dark, a promise made only to her. She
thought of the last words he'd said to her that weren't hampered by the
too-bright daylight.
"He wouldn't dare keep a good woman like me waiting."

***

Leave us reviews! We're plotting a sequel. We like encouragement.

Arafel: arafel@oceandreaming.com
Jaina:
lhanson@bgnet.bgsu.edu
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A Whisper in Darkness