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When Staring Into the Abyss...	By : Litilu Category: +S to Z > Utena Views: 1592 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Utena, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-When Staring Into the Abyss...
- 1
When Staring Into the Abyss...

(Be certain it's not staring back into you.)

Roses in a vase of white

Bloodied by the thorns

besides the leaves that fall because

my hand is pulling them

hard as I can.

'Brother' -- Alice in Chains

The night held a slight chill, the breeze airy but light, winding through loose
red locks to lazily toss them over Touga's shoulder one strand at a time.
Lounging back atop the precious convertible owned by one Chairman Akio Ohtori,
he gazed up toward the night skies above, regarding the velvet ink resplendent
with diamond stars. Akio chose a stretch of pasture to park in, leaving them
well outside the academy and the streetlights that lined the roadways. Only the
soft susurration of the wind combined with the rise and fall of droning crickets
filled the silence, except for the squeak of his uniform jacket against the
cartop as he leaned back further, clasping his hands bd hid his head. He had
gone with Akio to the Ends of the World, and taken Saionji along for the ride.
Shown him the truth, at last, and with that knowledge convinced him to fight for
the Rose Bride, again, and defeat Utena. How difficult it had been, for once.
Touga rarely needed to convince his old friend of anything. But, gone were those
trusting days of youth, when those violet eyes looked toward Touga for guidance.
Saionji had begun to grow up and gain a will all his own.

The sound of a soft sigh dug Touga out of his revelries, turning his head to
press a cheek against the cool paint of the car. Saionji lay sprawled against
the hood, jacket flared open now with Akio hovering above him and their mouths
locked together in a long, deep kiss. He watched from under a flutter of lashes,
eyes half lidded and drowsy, as his friend was drawn further into the chairman's
lustful desires. The scene was not unfamiliar to him, other than he was not
usually the unobtrusive observer, but the one being driven wild by Akio's
skillful touch.

And something about that truly bugged him.

The realization knit his brows in contemplation, turning the thought over and
over again in his mind. He felt nothing for Akio, recognizing a master
manipulator when he saw one, for as the old adage did say, takes one to know
one. Touga learned what he could from the man who became his mentor in
psychological warfare, and understood that he might be the biggest fish in the
classroom, but Akio would swallow him whole in any other setting.

No, he wasn't jealous of Saionji kissing Akio, he realized, he was jealous of
Akio kissing Saionji. The way those emerald curls and ringlets splayed across
the hood of the car, turned a darker, inkier evergreen beneath the darkness
above, the way Saionji sighed and turned his head, clearly in Akio's thrall,
truly bothered Touga and he couldn't quite figure out why. Saionji's eyes opened
to regard the man occupying the other side of the hood, languidly vacant, while
the chairman trailed down the column of his throat with tongue and lips. Their
gazes locked, blue to violet, and held.

"Hey, Touga?" Saionji asked after another round of kendo sparring. Only
eleven and twelve respectively and they never left each other's sides, never
would either. Touga was everything to the green haired youth, his mentor, his
best friend, his protector. "You think Risuu will be waiting for me again?"

"Nah," Touga replied. The bokkan were slung from his shoulder this time,
casually held onto in the palm of one hand, even as they clanked together while
the pair walked. "Besides, I'll walk you back home. If he's there, he'll have to
tangle with me to get to you."

"I will protect you... now and always.

Now and always.

"Now and always..."

Akio glanced up at the soft interruption to see Touga watching so intently. His
lips splayed into a knowing smile. The gaze of a predator stalking his prey and
knowing how exactly to separate it from the rest of the pack. But unlike the
great hunters of the wild, Akio did his hunting sheerly for the joy of it. "Touga-san...
come here." He reached over to grab the redhead's jacket sleeve, impatient for
Touga to rise at his own leisurely pace. Curious, Saionji began to prop himself
up on his elbows, only to swiftly be held down by Akio's body, straddling him
against the hood of the car. "Ne, Kyouichi... you stay there... "

Touga felt his hackles rising, familiar and cold against the back of his neck.
Something about the way Akio's voice shifted to honey sweet, like fruit ripened
past its prime, dripping off the vine. He knew that voice well, for he had often
employed it in the past. But to Akio he was as helpless as any of the innocent
schoolgirls who flocked to their redheaded Student Council President on a daily
basis. A babe in the presence of a wolf. But at least Touga knew what he was in
for. Saionji, though perceptive in his own right, had no way to defend himself
against his best friend, let alone a practiced professional casanova such as
Akio.

Despite his misgivings, Touga soon found his mouth captured in a rough,
demanding kiss and returned it with equal fervor, the grip of his chin by Akio's
hand pried loose within a moment's time. He didn't like being dominated, that
was his job. For the effort, Akio chuckled at him, drawing back while brushing
at the flowing red mane. "It would be his first time, ne? Why don't you take
him, then. Yes. Far easier to accept from his best friend."

Touga growled in a throaty, yet playful manner, t;Sat;Saionji has always been mine.
Do you think I would let you have him before me?" A ploy, for in reality Touga
knew who was really the master and who was the slave, it was simply not
something he wanted to admit so readily and certainly not in front of Saionji.

Again, Saionji attempted to rise, this time held down by both Akio and Touga.
Violet eyes had lost their earlier sheen of seduced luster, hardened now with
that perceptive, rational mind he possessed. "I think it's time to go back to
Ohtori. I've had enough of this."

"No, I don't think so, Kyouichi," Akio replied, his smile quiet and confident.
He reached down to jerk the uniform jacket open further with a violent motion
that resounded with the echo of tearing fabric. "Tomorrow you fight to win the
Rose Bride back. Tonight, you learn your place in the scheme of things." His
voice had changed, Touga realized with an inward, nervous mental note. The
richly seductive voice held a violent cast to it, for Saionji had committed the
greatest of transgressions... he bowed out of the game. He shirked Akio's will
before the duels were finished. The chairman had hinted at his displeasure and
Touga had intervened on Saionji's behalf, drawing his old friend in again with
the proper bait.

Just the look on Saionji's face set a cold stone in his throat. Touga swallowed
hard to rid himself of it, keeping his mask on tightly, right down to the jaded
apathy to his half-lidded eyes. He knew what thoughts swirled in his friend's
head, that inner fear of being trapped between two lions who eyed him like a
piece of meat tossed into their den. I have to be this way, Saionji. I wish I
d ted tell you this, but for now I can't. I have lain with the devil and sold
him my soul and now I'm thrice damned for selling yours with it. Though the
abject fear never quite left his friend's eyes, Touga leaned in to join their
mouths, to claim him utterly and completely right there.

It worked, for Akio found it amusing enough to back off, allow the two friends
to embrace there on the hood of his car. It would last the rest of the night,
and deep within Touga kneionjionji would never forgive him, not entirely. It de tde their pleasures hollow and fleeting, like marionette dolls prodded through
the motions by the strings their master plucked. He could only hold his best
friend close and brush his fingers through those evergreen locks in a futile
gesture of comfort.

And pray that come the dawn he would not have killed whatever humanity in him
that remained.
- 1
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When Staring Into the Abyss...