Nightshift

Nightshift
Dissonance

The boy’s locker room was a place not commonly used since the Angels started attacking. Even though they were presently unused, the cold marbled floor was just as clean as it was when the first basketball player put his shoes in the lockers, now empty seeing that no one needed the extra space.

However, none of this was relevant to either of the teenagers in the neglected room.

The cool metal of the lockers pressed into Hikari’s back as Shinji forced himself into her, the fabric of his pants to rubbing against the sensitive areas of her inner thigh with every motion. This was exactly how the freckled faced girl liked it. She wanted it just as rough as the bumpy texture of the locker behind her.

Shinji knew how she liked it.

With her skirt hiked up to her small waist and with the thin fabric of her panties pushed aside. She didn’t want any sweet words whispered in her ear, nothing resembling foreplay, and no affection at all.

Hikari bit down on her lip to stifle a moan as Shinji started to thrust his into her at and she reached her hand down to touch herself. More than anything she enjoyed the feeling of almost being forced. The bare sensation gained from his fingers pressing into her thigh as he held her leg up was enough to make her tingle but the feeling of him entering her was more than enough to make her feel like screaming.

Somehow, she kept herself in check but that only allowed the more intimate sounds to be heard as they fucked. The clacking of the lockers behind her almost made it hard to hear the slick sound of his dick ramming into her but that was what she focused on.

She could feel her orgasm coming and the overwhelming pleasure she felt teased her, staying just out of her reach. Furiously, she continued to rub herself and the feeling she was looking for found her. The brown-haired girl was drained of her senses and could only feel the pleasant feelings that spread though her body as she slumped against her partner who kept going despite her contracting around him.

He slowed down, his pace almost grinding to a halt as he started to slide in and out of her with the hope that he could maintain the feeling just that much longer. With a soft groan, he too arrived at his peak. With erratic breathing, Shinji pulled out and blushed as he noticed the glob of white going down her leg.

“I’m s-sorry.” The timid pilot stuttered as she took the tissue he took out of his pocket and offered it to her, “I didn’t mean to… get it on your leg.”

Hikari blushed as she wiped the semen off her thigh and let her skirt fall back down, “It’s okay…”

Even though they were engaged in the most intimate of acts not even minutes ago, their awkwardness with each other returned. Shinji could virtually feel his cheeks becoming a darker shade of red as he stared at the tissue she balled up in her hand.

With the piece of tissue in hand, the class representative walked to the garbage can and casually threw the paper in, “Y-You are getting better.”

How was he supposed to respond to such an embarrassing compliment?

“Thanks.” Shinji coughed out his reply, unable to look at her even if she had her back turned to him.

This was their relationship. They could barely maintain eye contact let alone even talk about things like this without blushing but, when it came to sex, it came naturally.

He couldn’t explain it but it was just something about Hikari that attracted him to her. As silence descended on the locker room, Shinji found himself staring at the freckled girl from behind.

His eyes traced her slim legs as she used another tissue to wipe up what she missed the first time, his sight following the tissue trail up her inner thigh. Again, he could feel the color coming to his face as she patted between her legs before discarding the paper into the garbage.

Feeling his eyes on her back, Hikari looked over her shoulder at him and allowed him to quietly study her face. It was no secret that she was cute but, to Shinji, she was beautiful. Even though they just got finished doing something that made them feel so embarrassed, the expression on her freckled face retained all of the innocence most usually associated with her.

“Do you want to do it again?” Hikari saw the look he had on his face and gave him a shy smile as she posed the question.

“Um, if you-“

“We don’t have to rush…” She stated before turning back around, “We can do this as much as we want to, okay?”

Despite her appearance, everyone always referred to her as being bossy and taking things too seriously but it was different for Shinji… When everyone seemed so distant, she was the first one to hold out a hand.

She was the first one to call him a friend.

For him, she cast aside the common misconceptions people had of her character and shared something like this with him. It was hard for him to show her exactly how much he treasured their relationship but, even now, he was building up his courage to do exactly that.

Still, there were some parts of there relationship that Shinji didn’t like but could certainly understand. More than anything, Hikari desperately wanted to keep it a secret and, thanks to the teasing he saw some of his classmates go through, he certainly knew why.

Oddly enough, what bothered him the most was their lack of contact.

Of course, they were often doing things far more personal than merely holding hands or kissing but that didn’t mean he didn’t desire those things. For once, he wouldn’t mind just sitting down next to her and talking as they smiled at each other or something simple like that.

Not to say he didn’t like having sex with her but he would honestly be content with just her touch, a small sign that she closer to him than anyone else.

“Tomorrow…” Hikari whispered, tangling her fingers in her hair as he stared at her back, “Are you free tomorrow?”

“Y-Yeah.”

She stepped away from the garbage can and turned to walk in his direction. Almost unintentionally, she made eye contact with her lover as she moved closer to him. Her brown eyes stared deep into his blue before she spoke, “You’re on cleaning duty so I’ll wait for you here…”

“Asuka isn’t going to help me so it might take a-“

“I’ll help.” The freckled girl blushed as she blurted it out.

Shocked, Shinji could only nod as his mouth dropped open. This was the first time anyone ever volunteered to do anything like that for his sake. Touched beyond words, he reached out and grabbed her hand without thinking, “Thank you…” He said with a smile spread across his face.

The way he voiced it told her that the help meant far more than just getting finished faster. He was so ecstatic about her helping him and she was so focused on his happy expression that they didn’t notice that he was holding her hand until he grasped it tighter.

Both of them froze.

By mistake, he took the first step towards doing what he really wanted to do with the girl in front of him. His eyes were trapped, unable to pay attention to anything other than the fact that they were touching each other not out of lust but because, even if it was purely reflexive, he simply wanted to.

At the other end of the spectrum, Hikari didn’t find their touch nearly as important as the astonished look on the pilot’s face. She could make out the feelings that hid in his eyes, the feelings that he knew he couldn’t put into the words he wanted to say.

In a way, they saw the things they always wanted to see in some shape or form but neither could find a way to share that with the person in front of them.

He released her hand.

She started to walk passed him.

It was hard to speak.

The delicate yet discomfiting atmosphere threatened to consume them if either dared to say anything to each other. Instead, they willingly kept the distance between them as they both walked out of the locker room.

The only thing they could manage was a poor attempt at saying goodbye that failed on the account of them not being able to even wave at each other. The best they could do for the time being was acknowledge that it couldn’t go on like this forever…

~*~

It wasn’t sunny but that didn’t at all mean it was a gloomy. It was cloudy but that didn’t mean there wasn’t going to be any rain. It was just that kind of day.

The rain drizzled down, a drop occasionally splashing against the window but was faint enough that you wouldn’t even notice if you didn’t look hard enough. Shinji could tell from where he was sitting that it was raining, his plans already ruined thanks to the weather.

With a sigh, his forehead met the desk as he realized that his effort was wasted but the rain couldn’t stop him from changing his plans. This just meant he would have to think of something else.

The pilot raised his head and took a quick glance at the bento he kept in his desk. Just by looking at it, all the courage he invested in deciding to do what he had in mind returned in a flash. Shinji leaned back in his seat and tried to smile as he thought of how she’d react but he could only feel the apprehension in knowing that he had absolutely no idea what she would say or even do when he presented the idea of eating together.

His shut his eyes as he envisioned himself handing her his lunch. Imaging it made him nervous but not knowing how she would respond to his offer was almost enough to make him choke on his own anxiety. Unable to even spare a peek at the class representative, he spied the clock in the classroom as he waited for the bell to ring. With each tick, his heart started to beat harder in his chest.

His eyes were so glued to the clock that he almost had a heart attack when a hand casually fell on his shoulder. Barely managing to avoid jumping out of his seat, the pilot looked over his shoulder to see a familiar pair of glasses that only belonged to one person he knew.

“Didn’t mean to scare you.” Kensuke grinned as he removed his hand, “You’ve been spacing out lately man. Thinking about the attacks or something?”

The boy in question shook his head, “Oh… it’s nothing.” He said, turning his attention back to the clock as he spoke.

“Don’t sound like nothin’ to me,” Touji muttered, folding his arms as he looked down at his friend. The jock’s brown eyes narrowed as he started to wonder why the pilot was acting so estranged from everyone lately. He even stopped eating with them and instead just stayed in the classroom.

Thankfully, the bell put an end to his friends’ inquiry before it begun and he stood up.

“How about today then?” Kensuke asked the question Touji was about to pose. When Shinji slowly shook his head, the brown haired boy couldn’t help but smile as he pushed his glasses back to the bridge of his nose.

He finally got it. He knew Shinji’s secret.

“Hmm… I understand now.” Kensuke smirked, light gleaming of his glasses as he raised his head, “You want to eat lunch with Ayanami!” He announced loud enough for everyone in and exiting the classroom to hear.

Touji snapped his fingers as he looked over his shoulder at the girl who continued to quietly look out the window, “I was bout to say that!”

“You didn’t figure it out until I said it!”

Touji’s expression darkened, “I was tha one who told ya in the first place!”

“T-That’s a lie!”

Shinji sighed as he pulled his lunch from out of his desk. He didn’t have any ulterior motives by staying in the classroom to eat. Other than today, he was just too tired to bother with going somewhere else to eat when he could do just fine in the classroom. He would have told them but they were already too busy arguing about where his affections lie.

With the bento in hand, he walked out of the classroom without sparing a glance at the commotion he left behind. It wasn’t long until he found himself wandering the halls looking for the place Hikari ate her lunch.

He found what he was searching for when he saw the steps that lead to the second floor but what he had in mind had nothing to do with the place she ate her lunch when the weather was like this.

Hikari…

Her name made him feel… different. Just by thinking of the girl, he was met with a feeling that he didn’t want to let go of. If he could explain how he felt when he was around her then he was sure he would be able to share it with her. There was even a chance that she felt the same way.

The tension inside of him was carried away by the surge of feelings flowing through him. With determination burning his eyes, Shinji walked over to the steps and took a seat. Still, it was hard for his tenacity to stand up to the sound of approaching footsteps.

No one usually came to this part of the school so it was normally devoid of any sound save the distant voices of teachers instructing and the occasional laugh the class would share.

That’s why he could hear the echo of every footstep. With each one came a desire to hide, to just sneak away when he was sure she didn’t see him. He already knew he was shaking…

He was scared to tell her but he already came far. There was no turning back now.

Her shadow appeared from around the corner and, suddenly, his throat went dry. He softly coughed as he stayed in place, waiting for her to finally notice him.

She did.

Hikari stopped as she stared at the person in front of her, “Huh… Shinji?”

The pilot cleared his throat as he stood up, “Hikari…”

This was it. He either said it now or he was never going to be able to say it. The time he spent making something special for her to eat and the effort he put into building up his confidence were both being put to the test.

He braced himself.

“Do you want to have lunch with me?” He paused, his hand clenching into a fist as he fought to say more, “I… I made it for you.”

Hikari stared at the bento he held in his hand but she didn’t say anything.

As he waited on her reply, she could only envision him slaving in the kitchen for her sake. Clearly, she could picture him getting up earlier than anyone else and trying his best for no one other than her. She wanted to say yes. She wanted to tell him that she would love to try something from him but something held her back.

This was a line that they couldn’t cross but how could she say no? Better yet, did she even deserve to refuse? Hikari knew Shinji didn’t give in to her just because he wanted sex.

Even if he was a little dense and probably naïve, she knew for a fact that he wasn’t shallow enough to attempt something as serious as a relationship just because he liked doing something like that with her.

He liked her.

When everyone else simply labeled her the nosy and bossy class representative, everyone was ignorant of the fact that she hated being perceived that way more than anything. She had friends but it was on account of her duty as being the leader of the class that she kept them.

People knew her but, at the same time, they didn’t. That’s why she reached out to someone who was visibly different than the rest, someone who didn’t yet form that misguided opinion of her. It was an attempt to free herself of the flawed mask she showed to the world but, in an ironic twist, she trapped the only person who really knew her inside her secret.

“No…” Hikari didn’t have the strength to look at him as she refused his kind request. She could try to explain but that wouldn’t change the fact that she said no to him, “If s-someone saw us then-“

“We wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret…” He finished her sentence for her, “Why does it matter that much?”

Taking in a deep breath, she glanced up at him. Shinji openly stared directly at her, the passive expression on his face telling her that he knew she wasn’t going to agree to eat with him, “Our classmates… They’d make fun of us.”

It was a weak excuse.

Hikari looked into his eye for even an inkling of the trust he always had in her but she could only see the hurt she caused him, evident by how his voice quivered as he spoke, “So? I… I don’t care what they think.”

“Hikari, are you there?” A familiar voice asked from around the corner, the sound of someone coming towards them enough to make them focus on the person that appeared in front of them.

Asuka made her presence known as she boldly took a step forward. The red haired pilot smiled as she noticed that her best friend didn’t start eating yet, “I almost forgot you came over here. Anyway, can we share since I kind of…” She trailed off as she noticed someone was behind Hikari, “Wait, what are you doing here Shinji?”

The class representative turned her attention back to the boy in front of her. With a heavy heart, she looked over her shoulder at Asuka, “He had some trouble with the homework we had yesterday… I’m helping him.”

She couldn’t deny that something felt suspicious but all she could do was shrug it off. It wasn’t like they had anything to hide, “Idiot, you must have forgot you live with a genius. If you paid me, I probably would have even did it for you.” Asuka said with a grin despite the rumbling in her stomach.

With heartache sketched across his face, the pilot started to walk pass the girls, “You’re still not good at reading kanji…”

Asuka was about to retort until she saw that her fellow pilot didn’t eat his lunch. Blissfully ignorant of the truth, she stepped towards her roommate, “Hey Shinji… You weren’t thinking of eating that all by yourself were you?”

“You can have it.” Not even sparing the time to turn around, he handed her the bento, “I’m not hungry anymore…” He said whispered as he dropped the lunch box in her hands.

Asuka quietly watched as he walked back to classroom without his lunch. Once he was safely out of range of her voice, she took a seat on the floor and put the box in her lap. As she picked up the chopsticks, she couldn’t help but wonder what was up with him, “I was expecting him to start whining or something…” She said, thinking out loud as she prepared to eat the lunch he made for Hikari.

“Asuka…”

“Hmm?” She looked up at her friend, “What is it?”

“Do you like Shinji?”

The question drew more than an arched eyebrow from the second child, “W-What?! Of course not! Who would even want to be with a wimp like him anyway?” Asuka yelled, spitting the words out so violently that Hikari thought she offended her by asking.

She slowly nodded as she leaned against the wall and looked at the bento she held, “Oh…”

Finished with the subject, Asuka took a bite out of the grilled fish. Chewing it just long enough to savor the taste, the red haired girl smiled brightly after she swallowed it. This had to be what he got up so early to make, “That idiot…” She said softly, the awe on her face brought on by his cooking, “This is really good.”

As she watched the girl happily eat the food that was meant for her, Hikari discovered that she too lost her appetite.

~*~

“All stand!” Hikari ordered.

Her brown eyes scanned the classroom for anyone who didn’t follow directions and, when she was sure certain everyone was upright, she turned towards the teacher, “S-Shinji…” She struggled to keep herself from looking back at him, “Shinji and Asuka have to stay for cleaning duty. Everyone else is dismissed.”

Their classmates poured out of the room in pursuit of their afternoon activities despite the weather outside. As the classroom emptied, Hikari risked a look at Shinji.

“Hikari, let’s go this time!” Asuka cried, stepping into Hikari’s line of sight as she spoke, “I know you like helping clean up but I know Shinji can do it by himself. It’s not like he has anything to do today.”

The freckled girl looked over Asuka’s shoulder at the pilot as he sat at in his seat, his head resting on the desk as he looked out the window, “I…”

“I’m alright.” Shinji said, his line of sight still on the window as he spoke.

Hikari blinked, “What?”

“It’s okay… I don’t need any help.”

Asuka placed her hand on her chin as she stared at her roommate. Something was obviously wrong but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Taking her time, she made an educated guess, “Let me guess… Wondergirl shot you down?”

“Ayanami?” Shinji looked up for sight of the azure haired pilot, “She never said anything to me.”

His roommate smirked as she placed her hands on her hips. His denial was all she needed to know that she was right. That was probably the reason he stopped walking back to the apartment with her, “If you’re that down about it then I guess I’ll help you clean up this time.”

“You don’t owe me for the lunch if that’s what you’re thinking…”

Asuka, forgetting that she was actually supposed to help in the first place, laughed to cover up the fact that he was right, “Let’s just do this and get it over with.”

“No.”

Hikari was unable to cover her mouth before she said it. She didn’t want to see anyone getting closer to him, especially someone who already misunderstood him completely. Shinji was like her but not exactly in the same regard. Whereas she intentionally hid her real self from the world, Shinji did so because he didn’t exactly understand how to interact with others.

If he accepted those around him then he wouldn’t be like her. She wouldn’t have anyone else to identify with anymore. So she desperately grasped at the idea that she couldn’t simply let him go even though it felt so wrong.

“No…” She repeated, “I want to help him.”

Asuka sighed, “What are you talking about? We can all do it and get this over with. Don’t you want to go do something today?”

Hikari shook her head, “I’ll take your place…”

“If you say so… Suit yourself then.” Asuka said before whistling as she strolled out of the classroom, the thought that Hikari wanted to stay for something besides cleaning up never crossing her mind.

Hikari carefully walked towards Shinji but he didn’t even bother to lift his head off the desk. As she neared him, he continued to watch the students scatter under the rain, “I don’t feel like doing that today.”

The idea that she was only approaching him for sex made her come to a complete halt. The awkwardness they experienced in each other’s presence gave birth to something that could only be described as hurt. Their attempts at keeping their feelings inside failed and, now that they were out in the open, they only painfully grate against each other.

It was that friction that did this to them.

Shinji raised his head when he heard something drop on the desk. Involuntarily, his eyes landed on the bento she placed in front of him. He slowly sat up in his seat, his sight drifting from the lunch to the girl who gave it to him and back towards the bright pink box.

“Let’s eat together.” Hikari whispered as she sat the chopsticks down next to the bento, “I’m sorry about before.”

“You don’t have to say that.” He stared at the chopsticks already knowing that he didn’t feel like eating either, “I’m sorry for trying to force you to have lunch with me.”

She sat on top of his desk, “You don’t have to say sorry either…”

Shinji got out of his seat and turned his back on the lunch she made, “Let’s get started, Asuka’s waiting for you isn’t she?”

Hikari knew he didn’t intend to hurt her feelings by doing it. It was just that he didn’t want anything right now but she had matters far more important to share with him than the fact that he skipped lunch, “Since when could you tell…?” She questioned him, ignoring the one he asked her.

He knew what she was talking about.

Shinji walked towards the broom that was left in the corner of the classroom, “I could kind of see that you were uncomfortable but I never really understood why.”

The class representative looked down at her feet as she dangled them over the side of the desk, “It’s kind of hard to have a relationship when we don’t really relate to each other… I know we have at least one thing in common though...” With a smile, she looked at him, “We really know each other.”

It was too late for her to show other people how she really felt but the Shinji she knew was more than able to assert himself, strong enough to show people he wasn’t the pervert or wimp they thought he was.

Even now, she knew he was sad but he didn’t cry or try to make anyone leave him alone. The quiet resolve to stand up when everyone else believed he would just run away was something she admired more than anything. With that, she was sure that he would be able to do amazing things even outside of the bio machine he piloted.

“So…” He reached for the broom and grabbed it, “You don’t want to do this anymore?”

“I… Well… If you don’t want-“

“With you…” Shinji cut her off, his back still turned to her as he spoke, “I’ll only do it with you.”

He didn’t care if she didn’t see him the same way he saw her. Even if his feelings were one sided, he couldn’t overlook them because she didn’t feel the same way. No matter what happened, she would always be the first person who showed him that he could be with people together like this.

The lunch was easily forgotten as Hikari hopped off the desk. He was the type of person who could still say kind things even though he felt so bad. She placed her hand on his shoulder and it was enough to make him turn around to face her. Instantly, the first thing he noticed was her smile. It was a warm smile but it was glowing with regret, “Shinji…”

Now was the time to say it…

“Hikari, I lo-“

He dropped the broom as she covered his mouth with her own, the words he was about to say was something she didn’t want or even deserve to hear. Any attempt he could muster to show her how he felt about her was drowned out by the fact that this was their second kiss, the first being the one that started this affair.

Hikari pressed her body against his as her tongue rediscovered how he tasted. It was only when the gentle kiss was broken that he noticed her brown eyes staring intensely at him. She said nothing but her eyes asked the questions she had no reason to voice.

His touch was her answer.

With what could only be called painstaking simplicity, he wrapped his arms around her. His lips met hers, their passion evident by how tight they held each other.

It was an inexperienced kiss. It was the type of kiss that made lovers giggle after they were finished but it was the feeling that mattered to her. His kiss… was innocent, lighter than a feather if she had to put words to it but the meaning behind it was heavy enough to move her.

The desperate hold he had on her softened as the kiss ended, his hands slowly returning to his sides as he stood in front of her. He was content… He was satisfied with at least this much.

It was only after the kiss was broken that she remembered where she was. She was out in the open, exposed to anyone who simply peaked inside. If anyone saw them then she would never be able to live it down but…

Hikari grasped his hand with own and brought it to her chest.

This was far more important than being teased. She already knew that keeping secrets was going to come back to haunt her someday but that was nothing to be concerned about now. Even if she refused to say it, she was more than able to show him how she felt and nothing as petty as being made fun of was going to stop her.

His eyes widened as he realized what she was doing, “I thought-”

“Shh…” She silenced him.

Now wasn’t the time to talk and the feeling of him touching her through her uniform was proof of that. She experienced a new sensation as he pressed his fingers into her clothed breast. He was groping her but that wasn’t the reason she was shaking. She was trembling because she couldn’t hold it back any longer, the excitement she felt starting to wet her panties.

She wanted him now…

Hikari quickly grabbed his arm and guided him down on the floor with her. The schoolgirl didn’t care where they did it as she pulled her skirt before taking off her panties. The sound his pants being unzipped followed her actions and she spread her legs as he crawled on top of her.

The green, bunched up folds of her skirt made it so she couldn’t see but she didn’t need her eyes to embrace the feeling of him entering her. A low groan came from the back of her throat as he forced the rest of his length inside her, the hand that was once tenderly touching her now forcefully holding her leg up.

There was no blushing and no one was going to be visiting the locker rooms today. Hushed moans mingled with the sound of the rain hitting the window as they shared each other. Blissfully, Hikari smiled as he did it exactly like she wanted him to except with one stark difference.

She reached up to touch his face and her fingertips trailed down his skin as she looked him in the eyes.

Shinji’s hand clamped down her leg and he picked up his pace, every entry harder than the last. He was so rough with her that it almost hurt and she loved it. She wanted to be sore when they were finished and he was on his way to doing just that.

Even if it was just for now, this was enough to make her forget…

He took his hand from under her knee and instead placed it under her thigh as he repositioned himself. With abrupt thrusts, he did his best to please her and the smile plastered on her face made her pleasure apparent.

She could forget that they were on the floor in plain sight of anyone who curiously entered the classroom because of the sounds coming out…

The fingers that once touched his face slowly descended from his skin as she sought to touch herself but her hand was swiftly knocked away and pinned down with his own. Shinji pounded into her and she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold back for too much longer. She cried out in pleasure, the sudden change in his pace taking her by surprise. He spared her no warnings and her climax did the same.

She could forget that he wasn’t the only one…

They arrived at their peak nearly at the same time, both of them enjoying the feeling for what it was worth till realization started to set in. The sound of the rain died down as the dark clouds outside parted and was replaced by with faint panting, their attempt to catch their breath as the room was bathed in sunlight.

Hikari said nothing as she peered into the cobalt eyes that stared down at her. As his seed dribbled out of her, she could tell that he was about to say it and there was nothing she could do to stop him.

“Hikari…”

She closed her eyes knowing that she couldn’t bear to see his face when he said it.

“I love you.”

With those words came feelings that would last much longer than the lingering ones from her orgasm. It was something she wanted to hear from someone else but, deep down, she was just as happy to hear it from him.

At the same time, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to tell him the truth. She opened her eyes and her heart twisted in her chest as she saw his heartfelt smile, “I m-mean it…” He whispered, his eyes adverting away from her as he uttered the words.

Even though she was in the wrong, his feelings were so sincere that she couldn’t help but to respond to his feelings with her own honesty, “I love you, too.”

Shinji nodded as he smiled, his eyes snapping shut in an attempt to hold back the tears that threatened to come. Hikari slowly forced herself of the floor and wrapped her arms around him, “I love you…” She repeated slowly, letting the words roll off her tongue as she told him the truth.

Unknown to the pilot, Hikari fought to stop from crying also. She wasn’t at all cruel enough to tell him that she tried to keep him at a distance on purpose or that she knew that his feelings were eventually going to be hurt.

That was okay though. Now was now and then is then. When they found out her secret she would take responsibility but, at the moment, the best she could do was relax as he hugged her.

~*~


In Shinji’s opinion, the days passed by quicker than he would have liked them to. The time he spent with his girlfriend at school was easily the highlight of his day even if it was different to keep their relationship a secret sometimes.

She loved him…

The pilot smiled as he waited for Hikari. He leaned on the lockers, briefly wondering if it would be okay if he asked her to take her out somewhere and dismissing it on account that she would refuse since they could be seen by someone that knew them.

“Shinji…?”

“Touji… Why are you here?” Shinji asked, getting off the lockers as he spoke.

The jock shrugged, “Um, I was bout to ask ya tha same thing.”

Overlooking the fact that his friend didn’t answer his question, he answered his, “I was just thinking about some-“

The blaring sound of the cell phone interrupted him. Their eyes landed on Shinji’s pocket as he reached and pulled out the ringing phone. Both of them knew what the call meant and the understanding yet anxious look in the pilot’s eyes confirmed it was what they feared, “Yes ma’am…” He muttered, hanging up before he placed the cell phone back in his pocket.

Touji was left speechless not only by the fact that an Angel was attacking. That was the first time he ever saw his friend look like he actually ready for the fight that was about to happen.

Shinji sprinted pass his classmate but not before giving him a nod, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said, the spark of resolve in his eyes quickly becoming a flame.

He ran out of the locker room and down the halls towards the exit. Quickly rounding a corner, he knocked over the very person he was thinking about, “Hikari?!”

“Ouch…” Hikari looked up at the offender, the pain immediately forgotten as she noticed who it was and the look he had on his face. Even though he said nothing other than her name, her heart started beating faster and her breath was caught up in her throat. Why was he looking at her like that? Why was he here? Did he see Touji? Did he figure it out this fast? Was he angry?

The questions assaulted her mind until he kneeled down and extended his hand despite his haste, “I’m sorry…” He said as he helped her to her feet.

“Don’t worry about it,” Hikari whispered as she dusted herself off, “Is something wrong Shinji?”

Shinji stepped forward and hugged her, “It’s an attack… Please tell everyone that is still here to get to the shelter.” Blushing as he let her go, he motioned to move pass her but she grabbed his shirt before he could.

“Don’t worry, it’s my job to do that and,” Hikari smiled as she released him, “Be careful…”

Hikari watched him run towards the exit, the swift sound of his footsteps fading as he rushed to fight the Angel. She knew exactly what that hug meant. He was thinking about her even now and the threat to his life was very real based on the stories Asuka told her.

The hand that wrapped around her wrist didn’t allow her to dwell on it for long. Touji looked over his shoulder as he pulled her along, “C’mon we have ta go!” He said as the sirens started to sound.

The loud alarms were extremely annoying but the thoughts she retained had nothing to do with the Angels. Hikari stared at Touji’s back as they neared the exit and she couldn’t help but feel like garbage…

It was unfair to both of them.

The crush she had and the friendship she created both evolved into mature relationships. She had her chance to put an end to at least one but she didn’t have the heart to reject either of them.

It wasn’t their fault though… She was the one that was wrong.

Touji squeezed her hand, “What are ya waiting for!?”

Hikari shook her head to clear her mind as she ran behind him. It didn’t matter if she would be called names and she wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t like her anymore when they knew the secret she desperately kept.

With a sad smile, the freckled girl openly accepted that Shinji and Touji were going to find out someday. Still, she would hold on to her fleeting desire for things to stay like this.

~Fin

Author’s note: The earlier chapters need to be touched up and, of course, Hikari was the first to get the rewrite. Some of the things I wanted to stress in the chapter were completely left out thanks to my inability at the time. In my opinion, I’ve gotten a bit better thanks to my effort so I put in some work on the first chapter during the sever switch. ^_^

This is the same story just from a better perspective. It still retained the themes I wanted it to and all that but I cringed whenever I tried to read some of the first chapters and, even now, I just skip across some scenes I’ve written recently. ^_^; I got a lot to work to put in on these stories of mine. Some of the changes will be easy to notice (complete rewrites) while others will be far more subtle (fixing grammar and spelling errors) but I’m still trying my best while I can.

Hmm, on to Misato or to a new chapter… ~_~

Either way, thanks for reading everyone. ^_^