The Bet | By : Rhonda Category: Gravitation > General Views: 9291 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Summary: After an argument, Yuki and Tatsuha make a bet that each can abstain from having sex with their lover longer than the other, but when Shuichi and Ryuichi get in on the act, it becomes a race to the finish line. Inspired by “The Contest” episode of “Seinfeld.”
Disclaimer: Gravitation is owned by Maki Murakami, not me. If you try to sue me, you’ll have to stand in line to get money.I make no money from this fanfic and this disclaimer applies to all future chapters of this story.
Author’s Note: This is something that I wrote this to cheer myself up, so it gets a little…odd at times and I take a few liberties. Apologies to the purists but it made ME laugh, so, mission accomplished.
This is not a sequel to Hiro Breaks It Down!, although, it’s set in the same universe a short time after the “Great Event.” It can be read on its own, but does reference things from that story including Ryu’s lace pants and K’s cheese basket.
Yuki looked at his watch. Damn him! Tatsuha was late…again. He paced back and forth in his living room, stopping a couple of seconds later to look at his watch…again. If he wasn’t there by the time the second hand passed the five…Yuki watched in vain as “five” came and went another six or seven times before he finally said “Screw it,” and ran to get his jacket and keys.
The bell rang.
“I’m going to kill him!” Yuki reversed direction to the door and tore it open to find his brother leaning against the outside wall.
“Hey, Bro,” he said breathlessly. “Sorry I’m a little late.”’
“A LITTLE late? Tatsuha, you were supposed to have been here over an hour ago!”
“I said I was sorry!” his brother whined, shoving Yuki aside and letting himself in. “Something came up—it was an unavoidable delay.” He grinned tiredly as a large cartoon thought bubble appeared over his head flashing an image of himself with his pants down around his ankles loudly giving Ryuichi what had “come up” causing him “unavoidable delay.”
Yuki looked up at the thought bubble. “I see what came up!” he slammed the door shut in disgust. “Unavoidable delay my ass, Tatsuha! I asked you for one thing, take these proofs back to my publisher for me so I can get on with making my deadline, a deadline, which by the way, this “unavoidable delay” is pushing me further against. Such a simple thing that would have taken all of thirty minutes out of your entire worthless day and you can’t even do that because you can’t keep your dick in your pants for more than ten!”
Yuki shook his head. “Get out, you’re pissing me off—and do something with that thought bubble, it’s making me sick!”
“Whoa!” Tatsuha flopped down on the sofa and faced Yuki. “I know you’re not talking. Tell me who wouldn’t be pushing his deadline right now if he hadn’t been “pushing” a certain pink haired popstar left and right, six times a day, seven days a week, when he should have been taking care of his business in the first place?” The thought bubble over his head imploded with a soft plop and he glared at his brother. “People living in glass houses ought to be careful with the rocks in their pockets…and the bricks in their pants! At least Ryu and I are honest about what we do.”
Yuki’s hands flew to his hips indignantly. “First of all, much of what I was doing was research for the novel, thank you very much and second of all, how dare you compare your jackrabbit humping sessions to the beautiful expressions of love Shuichi and I share and put them on the same level? We’re building a solid, loving foundation, you ignorant poster child for nymphomania! The only thing you and Ryuichi are building is a case for people to have their pets spayed or neutered!”
“What?!” Tatsuha rummaged between the cushions of the sofa and came up victorious. “Exhibit A!” He held up a Shuichi sized pair of crotchless pleather shorts. “What kind of foundation are y’all building off these? What book, pray tell, are you writing where you have to do research like this—“The Gay Man’s Guide to Better Living?” And don’t let me go into the kitchen where I KNOW I’ll find exhibits B-E just waiting to tell on your sorry ass! I know all about what’s sitting on the counter next to the can opener!”
“We don’t have to go into the kitchen to find evidence of excess, Tatsuha, Exhibit B is written all over your face—literally!” Yuki shot back, pointing to the fresh hickies that, as they spoke, were darkening into a ring around Tatsuha’s lower face and throat. The ring resembled the constellation Orion. “And you keep your mangy mitts away from my can opener!”
“What the hell would I want with your nasty can opener?” Tatsuha retorted. “And it’s not MY mitts you should be worried about. If I were you, I’d be more concerned with getting my OWN mitts back to where they belong—typing out my little yaoi stories before my publisher grabbed me by the short hairs! If you’d exercised more restraint in the first place and kept your own mitts to yourself, you wouldn’t be in this mess now, would you?”
Yuki stood fuming in front of Tatsuha. “Restraint??? What the hell do you know about restraint? You’ve got all the restraint of a drag queen at a shoe sale!”
Tatsuha stood up and fumed back. “You’ve got nerve! All Shuichi has to do is bend over to tie his shoes and you’re all over that poor bastard like a cheap suit! Beside “restraint” like that, I look like a saint!”
Yuki took a step forward. “Please! Need I mention a certain pair of lace pants? All Ryuichi has to do is put his hands on them in the closet and you’re down on your knees faster than a bargain basement Kabukicho whore looking for dropped change! So, don’t talk to me about restraint when you can’t even spell the word!”
Oh he went there, did he? Tatsuha took a step forward and narrowed his eyes. His voice dropped down to a whisper. “How.Dare.You.Blaspheme.The Pants! Tread light, Eiri, cuz you’re on dangerous ground right now, talking about shit you don’t know anything about!”
The two stood toe to toe, eyeball to eyeball.
“I know that whatever it is you’re calling restraint is a joke if all it takes to break you down like kryptonite is a pair of lace pants! A deathrow inmate on a conjugal visit could exercise more self control than you. Hell, even I could do that!”
“Could you now? Hah! I’d pay to see you try cuz that’s rich coming from the man that once fractured his wrist jerking off to Shuichi’s picture on the cover of “Super Cutie Honey Boy” because he couldn’t wait for the real thing to come home from work! Self Control! I’ve got more will in my left testicle than you do your whole body!!”
“I had carpal tunnel syndrome from writing, moron and since you want to be a smart ass, put your money where your mouth is. Prove it!”
“Meaning what?”
“Prove to your big brother that you’re not the jackass he knows you are. Exercise that so called “restraint” you seem to have so much of and keep your parts in your own pants!”
Tatsuha frowned. “While “Big Brother” is doing what?”
“Finding a use for the money I win off of “Little Brother.” I won’t have to look hard and I sure as hell won’t have to wait long.”
“Ohhh no, we’re in this together! If I have to go without so do you!”
“I don’t have anything to prove to you! I’m not the one shirking off on his responsibilities!”
“Really?” Tatsuha countered. “Can’t handle your own bullshit, huh? That’s not surprising. How’s that deadline coming again?”
Yuki glared at his brother. Tatsuha smiled. He had hit Yuki where he lived.
“Aww for god’s sake, fine!” Yuki acquiesced, folding his arms. His voice mellowed. “It’s not like this’ll be difficult, Tatsuha. Knowing you, I’ll be counting my money this time tomorrow.”
“Are you kidding me? With Shuichi humping your leg like a Chihuahua in heat every chance he gets? I’ll have my cash by the end of the 6 o’clock news, spank you very much!”
“Your self confidence is admirable. Misguided, unbelievable, dead wrong and kinda funny, but admirable nonetheless. Shall we talk about some rules?”
“Be my guest.”
“Great. Rule number one. No sex, obviously. The minute one of us shoots it’s all over. We might not be able to stop them from touching us or avoid touching them, but no sexual satisfaction, i.e. completion, of any kind with your partner—or anyone else for that matter.”
“Not a problem. Unlike some people I know, I’m satisfied with my lot in life and don’t need to go looking at other people’s lots.”
Yuki gritted his teeth. “Since Shuichi, neither have I, so watch your mouth or you won’t live long enough to see me beating the hell out of you! Rule number two. No telling anyone about this—especially Ryuichi and Shuichi. Word of this gets out and we’ll never live it down.”
“Agreed.”
“Rule number three. No manhandling!”
“What?!”
“No jerking off, no self love, no solo flights, no being true to thine ownself. When I say keep your hands TO yourself, I don’t mean ON yourself, or IN yourself or whatever else it is you DO to yourself, got it? That’s not exercising restraint, that’s shifting the focus.”
Tatsuha’s smile fell an inch.
Yuki saw it and grinned. “What, you want out already?”
“Hell no! And since we’re talking about rules, I’ve got one of my own.”
“Shoot.”
“You wish. No sabotage.”
“What’re you talking about?”
“Don’t play innocent! No taking Ryuichi on a sudden shopping trip and sending him home loaded down with a bag full of toys wearing nothing but a whipped cream loin cloth! Winning by underhandedness renders this whole contest for naught. This is a battle of wills, not seeing who can win the sneaky bastard award, savvy? Save your bag of tricks for Shuichi.”
Damn, thought Yuki. How’d he know what I was planning? He can see right through me.
“That’s just what I thought,” replied Tatsuha eyeing him closely, gauging his reaction. “I can see right through you.”
“Fine, same goes for you. No sending Shuichi home all dolled up in his concert clothes sporting new and improved amenities like handcuffs and the like. And no sending each other new and improved amenities either for that matter. I don’t want to open my door to see a box full of whips freshly shipped from the dungeon of your choice!”
“Wouldn’t dream of it. How’re we going to judge this little…contest?”
“Do we feel comfortable within the confines of the honor system?”
“That’d be splendid except for one thing.”
“Which is?”
“You have no honor.”
“Low blow, Tatsuha!”
“Not until this is over.”
“So what do you suggest then, smart ass?”
“How about we meet for lunch every day at say one o’clock at that restaurant down the street? I think we know each other well enough to be able to tell by observation whether one of us has strayed off the beaten path—no pun intended.”
“None taken, it wasn’t that good of a pun anyway. I don’t know…I’m still up against a deadline and lunch everyday…”
“You’re the one that said it wasn’t going to take long. Of course, if you’re suddenly too busy to be bothered…”
“Fine. One o’clock tomorrow then?”
“Wait, when are we starting?”
“How about right now?”
“Uhh…” Tatsuha shifted uneasily. “How about midnight. 12:01 am. You know, fresh new day and all.”
Yuki rolled his eyes. “And time for Tatsuha to get in one last shag to tide him over.”
“Like you’re not going to do the same thing!”
Yuki thought about that. “Fine, 12:01 and not a second later.”
“Agreed. And finally, how much money am I going to win?” Tatsuha asked.
“Our usual, Randolph?”
“Sure, Mortimer, why not? Make it light on yourself!”
“Pinky swear then.”
“Pinky swear.”
The two so called grown men pinky sweared (or is that pinky swore?) Tatsuha then grabbed his keys and headed out at high speed.
“Getting an early start, are we?” Yuki called to him innocently as his brother opened the door.
“Contrary to what you might think, I have other things to do with my day besides take a fool’s money! Tell Shuichi I said hello when you see him…after he regains consciousness, that is.” And with that, Tatsuha was gone.
Yuki laughed. This was going to be the easiest money he’d ever made. He laughed all the way down the hall to his office. He sat down to continue working, still chuckling. Still chuckling that is until he saw the large brown envelope still sitting next to his computer.
“Shit.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “After all that I still forgot to give him the goddamn proofs!”
*** ***
Monday Night.
“Tatsuha, I’m tired!” Ryu protested sleepily. He tried in vain to turn over and face away from his very insistent boyfriend. Tatsuha turned him back.
“I know, Honey, but Tatsuha needs a little something extra tonight.” He eyed the digital alarm clock on the nightstand nervously. It read 11:46 pm. “Don’t worry, it won’t take long.”
“But I’m sleepy!” Ryu tried to scoot away from his lover who’d somehow sprouted six extra arms while he was at the studio, all of which had pounced on him from the moment he’d gotten home. He hadn’t had a minute’s peace since. Tatsuha dragged him back.
“You can sleep all day tomorrow, believe me, there’ll be nothing to stop you.” 11:49 and counting. He reached for Ryu.
“Tatsuha!”
Tatsuha had arrived home that afternoon in a state of frenzy. On the one hand, he was furious with Yuki for goading him into such an idiotic, desperate situation. On the other hand, he was also spitting mad with himself for allowing Yuki to goad him into such an idiotic, desperate situation. On the third hand, he was panicking now that he’d found himself in such an idiotic, desperate situation. How was he going to last? There was no way he could go any measurable time without a little bump and grind with his honey bunny! Nor should he have to! After all the nights of yearning and dreaming and fantasizing and praying about laying hands on his idol and trying to sell his soul to any deity that could make his wish come true, finally he’d had his wish granted and live in living color, Ryu was his for the asking, his for the taking, 24/7/365 and a quarter for leap years, hallelujah and holy shit! Now he was supposed to just turn his back on what he’d come to think of as his god given right all for the sake of a stupid bet?
Tatsuha’s rapid, desperate babbling thoughts came to a sudden, definitive conclusion: not just no, Hell no!
He whipped out his cell phone and pressed the speed dial button he’d programmed with Yuki’s number, ready to tell him to stick his bet where the sun didn’t shine. The line rang once. Tatsuha pressed cancel. If he threw in the towel now, he’d never hear the end of it. And he was certain his cretin brother would tell the world:
Yuki would tell people at the weddings Tatsuha performed: “Good thing you’re not marrying my brother or you’d have to book a honeymoon suite for three—you, my brother and my brother’s dick!”
He’d tell people at the funerals Tatsuha performed: “Good thing the deceased didn’t know my brother or he’d have died ass up with my brother’s dick stuck in him!”
He’d bring it up at family dinners: “Tatsuha, do you think you could you take your dick out of Ryuichi long enough to pass the rice?”
Yuki’s taunting, derisive laughter would follow him until the end of his days and even then he was sure his brother would find a way to make the torture continue.
No, I’m in this one for the long haul, he thought miserably. His bottom lip began to tremble. No! He could do this. He’d do it for honor. He’d do it for pride. He’d do it …because he couldn’t think of a way out of it.
Before his resolve could crumble any further, Tatsuha set about sex proofing the flat. He immediately went to the entertainment center in the living room and cleaned house. All the anime, hentai and otherwise—“My Sexual Harassment”, “Yami no Matsuei” (he had a soft spot for Tsuzuki) Cromartie High (don’t even ask!) and so on, all of Ryu’s concert performances, all of the movies—“9 ½ Weeks”, “Pirates of the Caribbean”, the LOTR Trilogy (mmm…a Legolas/Aragorn sandwich with a side of Hobbit….)--anything that could provoke a “situation” went into a pile.
Next he went to the music section and rolled through that. All the Steve Vai (he was completely helpless against an SV power ballad), all of the Mint Condition, anything George Michael and everything Tom Jones went into the pile. He even threw in his super secret Spice Girls stash that was carefully hidden behind the tv. By the time he was done, all he and Ryu had left was Garfield’s Christmas Special and Kenny Loggins’ Greatest Hits. After a second’s consideration, he threw in Kenny too—there was something about “Danger Zone” that just got him pumped up.
Tatsuha continued his proofing, taking away all the scented candles, incense, satin sheets, lace pants (especially the lace pants), toys, lube, cooking oil, marshmallows and whatever else he could get his hands on that might give Yuki an advantage. He even took away Ryu’s strawberry scented shampoo.
He carried the massive pile into the bedroom and stuffed it all into a footlocker. Locking it he searched for a place to put the trunk’s small key. Everywhere he found though, would be much too easily accessible when the hammer came down and Tatsuha had absolutely no doubt that the hammer would indeed come down. Finally he took the key into the kitchen, emptied an ice tray, put it into one of the cube compartments and filled the tray with water. Setting the tray back into the freezer, he couldn’t help but feel smug with his own inventive cleverness. Take that Yuki! Then he sat back and waited for Ryu to come home. He sat there congratulating himself, imagining all the delicious things he was going to do to his squeeze…until he remembered that he’d packed away all the lube—and the marshmallows! He got up and ran back to the kitchen for the key…
*** ***
“Tatsuha, I’m sore!” Ryu’s loud protesting yanked Tatsuha out of his flashback reverie. 11:52. “That’s ok, Baby. Daddy’s got a wheelchair you can use. Now come over here!”
*** ***
Yuki didn’t think about sex proofing his place. Even if he had, he wouldn’t have lowered himself to do it. Instead he concentrated on writing and was soon engrossed in it. It wasn’t until he yawned and stretched that he realized it had become dark outside. Glancing at his watch, his heart skipped a beat. Holy shit, it was 11:30! He got up and ran to the bedroom. Empty. So was the living room and kitchen. He ran to his cell phone and dialed Shuichi. Where the hell was he??? Whenever I don’t want him around he’s under my balls, Yuki thought. Now that I need him…no answer. He hung up and dialed again. It was then that he heard the front door unlocking.
Shuichi dragged himself inside. It had been a long, hard day. Recording hadn’t gone well and it had ended up lasting late into the night. He was starving, exhausted and wanted nothing more than a quick bite and bed.
Yuki was waiting for him at the door.
“Oh!” Shuichi was startled to see his man standing there. In the dark. Behind the door. Looking down at him. “Hey, Yuki.” He grinned tiredly. “How was your d--” Yuki, not waiting for him to finish his sentence, grabbed Shu by the wrist and dragged him toward the bedroom.
“Yuki, what are you doing?” Shuichi asked leaving scuff marks on the floor.
“What’s it look like?” Yuki didn’t break step.
“Now??? I just got home!” Shuichi whined.
“No time like the present.”
“But I’m hungry!”
Without stopping Yuki fished in his pocket and tossed the kid a box of Tic Tacs. “That ought to hold you.” He continued dragging.
Shuichi threw a foot anchor out and stopped the train. “Can’t it wait a few minutes? I’m tired, I’m hungry, I need a shower, I…”
Yuki snapped his head back in frustration and took a breath. Suddenly he whipped around on Shuichi and yanked his lover to him forcefully. Taking his charm from negative 1 to 11, he turned it on full steam. Lowering his face so that his lips were less than a breath away from Shu’s, Yuki used his eyes to their most hypnotic effect.
“Shuichi,” he murmured. “I’ve been waiting for you all day. I’ve been waiting for your lips, your eyes, your skin, your touch…I’ve been waiting to do this.” He crushed Shuichi with his kiss, hot and hard, holding the boy captive beneath him. He felt Shu tremble and go limp immediately.
Shuichi’s eyes fluttered. “Ok,” he gasped breathlessly.
“Yep, let’s go!” Yuki dropped Shu where he stood and quickly crossed the rest of the room. The sound of Shu running behind him brought a smile to his lips. Works every time….
*** ***
The phone was ringing. Yuki continued thrusting. Deep and hard they gained pace, carrying Shuichi into the headboard.
“Ahh, ahh, god, Yuki!!!” Shuichi was panting heavily, holding on to the top of the headboard for dear life.
The phone continued to ring. Through a sweat glazed blur, Yuki could see the time on the nightstand clock. Midnight! He grabbed Shu’s hips and began to pound him mercilessly, crushing his lover almost vertical with the headboard. He continued to ignore the phone. Let the machine pick it up.
Ring…ring…the phone fell silent.
“Ah, Aha, Ahhhhhhh!” Shuichi slapped the wall with his hand as he clenched and came. Yuki followed right behind, grunting loudly, grinding himself into Shuichi with his convulsions.
RING…RING…RING…
Yuki cursed and snatched the phone up.
“What?!!” he snapped, still out of breath.
“I know you’re not out already?” came Tatsuha’s smug voice. “What took you so long to answer the phone?”
“I was in the back doing something.” Yuki peeled Shuichi off the headboard and let him land on the bed.
“In the back of who doing what, I wonder?” Tatsuha laughed. “At any rate, it’s three past midnight, I win, pay up.”
“No way. Your clock is fast. Besides, I was done two minutes ago.”
“Then why are you so out of breath?”
“Shuichi’s pillow talk takes my breath away.”
Tatsuha laughed. “Ok, I supposed I can’t prove you’re a minute late. Just so you know though, the game is on.” He hung up.
Yuki tossed the phone on the floor and fell back on the bed. After a minute he poked Shuichi who hadn’t moved since he’d landed on the mattress.
“You ok?”
*** ***
That Night:
Yuki slept on his stomach with his legs thrown half way across Shuichi who still had not moved from where he’d landed on the bed. Satisfied that he was still breathing, Yuki left him there.
Tatsuha and Ryu slept curled around each other--Tatsuha with a smile on his face as he dreamed Technicolor dreams and Ryu with a pillow under his ass.
*** ***
End Chapter 1: Monday--Day Zero
Author’s Note:
Hiro Breaks It Down! References:
The Great Event: A publicity stunt staged by NG Records that ended up breaking record sales history and affecting the population of the greater Tokyo metro area. Only those that were involved with it know the truth--that it was actually Hiro’s “Plan B” designed to make Shuichi leave Yuki for him.
Ryu’s Lace Pants: During the “Great Event” Ryuichi Sakuma wore a pair of white lace pants that brings Tatsuha to his knees. Tatsuha hasn’t been right since.
K's cheese basket: A present he received after the "Great Event" consisting of a 35 pound basket of cheese.
*The names Randolph and Mortimer Yuki and Tatsuha call each other is a reference to the movie “Trading Places” where the two scheming brothers Randolph and Mortimer Duke try to wreck lives over their bet of a dollar and end up having it backfire terribly on them. Now you know how much the bet is for, although I suppose for our situation it wouldn’t be a dollar, rather something like 100 yen? Don’t know if that’s right, but yen, dollars, rubles, pounds, feel free to use whatever does you best.
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