Searching For....

Title: Searching For…..Part 1: Memories
Author: JadeHeart
Archived: Found on CLAMPesque Board. If anyone else would like it, please ask me first!
Fandom: X/1999
Rating: R
Warnings: thoughts of death and violence, angst
Timeline: The Final Battle in the anime.
Characters: Fuma, Subaru, Kotori
Feedback: Feedbacl is always welcome so please feel free!
Summary: Fuma must face the world after the Final Battle, and himself. And so life goes on ...
Author’s Notes: This was the first fanfic I had ever posted – and that wasn’t that long ago! I haven’t edited it any further since then so I’m not sure just how good it was! I think I’ve improved since this series!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this, they are all CLAMP’s, nor am I making any profits from this.

The soft breeze rustled the leaves overhead, a couple gently floating towards the ground below to kiss the grass, until the breeze picked them up once more and swirled them away in a swaying dance.

Silken hair brushed across his forehead in the wind, falling over his eyes. He looked up at the sun above, the rays filtered by the tree\'s branches so it fell in a mottled pattern of light and dark. High pitched chirps and whistles accompanied the arrival of a couple of small birds as they jumped along the branch near where his hand rested, unafraid of the presence of the human there, sitting high in the branches of this tree that was their home. A soft smile automatically curved his lips as he watched them, his features softening.

He felt a light tap on his shoulder and a small ball of warmth settled near his ear briefly. Slowly turning his head, he looked at the tiny bird perched there, head cocked to one side to view his face.

\"So you\'re a bold one, aren\'t you, my friend?\" he said softly with a smile, seeing the bird\'s feathers move gently with his breath.

The little bird half flapped its wings and ruffled its chest feathers to puff them up further, trying to make itself appear larger than it was. An unvoiced chuckle filled Fuma\'s chest at these antics. With a flutter of wings his little friend soared to a branch hanging over Fuma\'s head.

As Fuma leant his head back to watch the flight, he rested it against the tree trunk. It was an old tree, old and majestic and it provided him some peace from his constant inner turmoil, so he came here often. The tree was surrounded by grass and other plants, away from the city sounds, a small oasis of calm in the chaos of Tokyo. The birds and other small animals carried on their lives here, unharmed and rarely bothered. This place was not on any path so had few visitors. Fuma being the only one now.

Kotori was here, buried beneath the overhang of this tree. Buried by someone
who had loved her deeply and continued on with his destiny, despite her loss.
Kotori, his sister, his beloved younger sister whom he had looked after for so
long and whom he had loved just as deeply as that other someone. His sister
whom he had.....killed.

A shudder shook his body, fingers clenching into a fist as it lay on the branch,
the bark biting into his skin, pushing under his fingernails. A sharp stab of
pain in his hand made him stop. He took a deep breath, long, slow. Another.
Another. He began to find his balance again. It had taken him a long time to
accept that he had been responsible for destroying his sister. A long time,
filled with tears, pain, horror and remorse. Fortunately, the memory of him
doing so remained blessedly vague, apparently as the other \'Kamui\' whom he
had become had only just begun to awaken. But the memories that he did
have were filled with blood, Kotori\'s blood. On his hands.

He probably would have gone mad at that time, or killed himself to stop the
pain, to destroy this shell, the hands that had killed Kotori, if not for one
night a few weeks after the Final Battle.

He hadn\'t been asleep, he was sure of it. The horrors that he had inflicted on
others had kept him awake in those first few days, sitting in his room in a
chair near the window, eyes wide, staring, unseeing, withdrawn, seeing the
horrors played out over and over again. So he was sure he wasn\'t asleep.

Then he had heard a voice calling him, a soft, gentle voice, a voice that he
knew, a voice belonging to someone he loved. His mind had resurfaced, eyes
searching for the owner of that voice in the long shadows in the spartan room.

A soft glow began to form almost directly in front of him, a soft blue-white
light that seemed to swirl like mist. A shape began to coalesce within this
light. A small form, compared to his six foot frame, a feminine form. Long
honey coloured hair, large eyes and a gentle smile on a face he knew as well
as his own.

A sob choked in his throat as he raised a trembling hand towards the figure
before him, hovering a few inches above the floor, seeking to touch what was
now out of reach. Then miraculously he felt two small soft hands enclose his
outstretched one, warmth covering it.

Tears streamed down his face as he gazed upon Kotori\'s smiling face. He
couldn\'t move. He was afraid to move, least any further movement on his
part would cause this wonderful vision to go, flee, leaving him alone once
more.

Kotori floated closer, bringing his clasped hand to her breast, clasping it
tightly. He closed his eyes for a moment. He could /feel/ her! He opened his
eyes quickly, afraid to lose sight of her. She knelt before him and rested her
head on his knees.

Fuma, she spoke quietly.

He reached out his other hand and gently rested it on her head, fingers
automatically running gently over the long silken strands that lay there,
combing them as he had done so often before over all the years they had been
together. Tears fell onto Kotori\'s hair and he gentle wiped them away with
each stroke. He felt like his heart would break from joy. It was Kotori, she was
here, she had come back to him, she wasn\'t gone. He wasn\'t alone anymore.

Kotori raised her head and looked up into his face. She raised a hand and
softly wiped the tears away that still fell, that continued to fall. Tears of
pain, regret, love and joy. She still smiled at him.

\"I\'m sorry,\" he whispered brokenly in a voice that was unused to being used
recently. \"I\'m sorry.\" He could say nothing more, there was too much to say,
and no words to say it.

She shook her head violently, her hair swinging across her shoulders in an
action that yanked at his heart it was so familiar.

No!, she said firmly. I\'m sorry I left you. I didn\'t want to, truly I didn\'t.
But it was my destiny.

At that word, \'destiny\', his hands clenched. He wanted nothing more to do
with \'destiny\'. \'Destiny\' had destroyed everything he held dear. Is this how
/he/ had felt all that time? Fuma wondered suddenly in shocked
understanding.

Kotori\'s hands tightened on his, bringing him back to the moment.

I know it is hard. I didn\'t want to die. But this was a moment that had to
happen, to finally reach the moment of Choice. Her voice sounded like it was
echoing in his head. I had a choice to make, just as you did. Between the Earth
and my death. I chose this.

Fuma stared at her in shock. She /chose/ to die?! In such a horrible way! Why
hadn\'t she told him?! Why hadn\'t she /stopped/ him?!

She reached up and touched his face, cupping his cheek in her small hand.

Fuma, she continued, looking deeply into his eyes with a strength that he
hadn\'t realised she had held within her.

I chose to die because I wanted the Earth to live. Not just because the Earth
/should/ live, and all the animals, plants and people on it should live. But
I wanted the Earth to live because I wanted you and Kamui to be happy. The Earth
was the place both of you were, and I wanted there to be no other place but here
to continue on. And I would have done /anything/ to protect both of you, no
matter what it cost me! I knew the path for you both would be hard, but I had
faith in you both that you would traverse it and reach its end and that you would
be safe. That is why I chose this.

Fuma tried to speak but his voice choked. He cleared his throat, and tried
again. \"But we didn\'t make it to the end of the path. Not both of us...\" his
voice trailed off as his throat closed again in pain.

Sadness filled Kotori\'s eyes for a moment, a sadness that Fuma immediately
regretted for being responsible for causing.

I know, she said quietly dropping her eyes for a moment. But you both did save
the Earth...

Fuma interrupted, with a sharp shake of his head. \"/He/ did! I didn\'t do
anything! I didn\'t do anything except /destroy/!\"

Kotori looked up again at him.

That\'s not true, Fuma! she cried softly, standing to lean over his seated form
and placing both hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look at her
and only her. Without your heart, without the feelings that you had for Kamui,
his wish /couldn\'t/ come true! Don\'t you see that? Without a heart that could
love, and still loved, despite what had happened, and everything that was going
on, Kamui could /not/ have made his last wish. It was because there was still
a part of your heart that Kamui could enter and make his wish a reality! You
/did/ save the Earth! Just as he did! You did it together!

Fuma looked into her passionate eyes, wanting to believe, and a part of him
did. He remembered the feeling as Kamui placed his hand over his heart,
there at the end, entrusting his wish to Fuma. He remembered a sudden
breaking, as though barriers that had been erected around a place deep inside him
were crumbling, a feeling of something reaching out of himself, through the
other \'Kamui\'s\' presence that filled his soul, reaching out towards this other
feeling that was entering him, this other feeling coming from /his/ Kamui. And he
remembered the feeling as these two essences joined, melded, combined and
then.....it was over. The other \'Kamui\' was gone. As was....his Kamui. But the
feeling remained. Still remained.

Kotori nodded.

Yes! she said firmly. You see? It was because you /both/ wanted the
same thing. And no matter how deeply your own soul had been pushed and
sealed away, there was one thing that you held onto, and refused to let be
destroyed and taken over. And when Kamui needed that, needed you to be
there, you answered that call. You kept your promise, Fuma. You promised
that you would protect Kamui, and you did. Because without you, Kamui
would have died and the Earth as well, and it all would have been for
nothing!

Fuma continued to look at his sister, her hands on his face, wet with the tears
that hadn\'t ceased to fall. He wanted to believe so much and he was
beginning to, just a little.

Kotori moved one of her hands and placed it over his heart. He
felt the warmth of that hand, felt the rise of his chest against it as he breathed.

Remember, Fuma. I live on here in your heart. I always will and I don\'t
regret my choice and I don\'t blame you. It wasn\'t you who did this. You were
in here, waiting for the moment when you could keep your promise. And you
did. And Kamui lives here inside of you now. Always and forever.

Fuma raised a hand and laid it over the top of Kotori\'s, pressing it against his
chest.

“I want you back.” he said brokenly.

She smiled sweetly at him, eyes filled with sorrow.

I know. I can\'t. She paused a moment, then continued. But I can do this.

A small glow began around their clasped hands. Fuma took his away and
looked down at his chest. Kotori moved her hand away a few inches from his
body and he could see a small ball of light, no bigger than a marble. Kotori\'s
eyes were closed and her whole being began to glow also.

This I can do for you. she said, and raised both hands before her and
pushed against his chest, and pushed the glowing ball /into/ his chest,
directly over his heart. He gasped, not in pain, but at a sudden feeling of
warmth inside. It felt like a portion of his soul was unfreezing, thawing and
he couldn\'t halt the hand that came up to rest over his heart, or the soft smile
that came to his lips.

That is what I’ve wanted to see. He raised his head at Kotori\'s words to see his
sister looking down at him fondly. It\'s been a very long time since I\'ve seen
my Fuma smile in that way. Filled with love and kindness. I like it like that!
and she smiled impishly back at him, eyes lit with joy. He felt his smile
broaden. Yes, it had been a long time since he had smiled because he truly felt
happy.

He noticed the light around Kotori brightening and she sighed, I have to go now.

He felt the smile slip from his face, a hand reaching out to her and grasping
one of hers tightly.

“Please, don\'t.” he begged.

I must. I really shouldn\'t have come here at all. I\'m not supposed to really.
But I couldn\'t leave you here alone. I had to tell you that, and make you
understand what had happened. I couldn\'t let you continue to blame yourself
for a decision that I had made. And now you know I\'m never going to be apart
from you again. She leant forward and whispered behind a hand as
though there was someone else that was there that could hear her. I\'m not
supposed to do things like that, but you\'re my big brother and I wanted to. So
there! Her impish smile lit her lips again.

Fuma reached out and placed both hands to cup her face and drew it closer to
his. He rested their foreheads together, eyes closed for a moment.

“Thank you.” he whispered, then placed a kiss on each of her cheeks.

Anytime, big brother. she whispered back. I\'m always with you.
Forever. And she placed a final benediction in the form of a kiss on the top of
his head before stepping back.

Remember, the future is never fully determined. There is still hope. Even
when you feel there is none. Don\'t give up yet.

The light around her intensified as she spoke, and as she raised a hand to
blow him a kiss it slowly faded, and she was gone.

Fuma sat silently in the dark room, hands clasped over his heart, thinking.

The breeze ruffled his hair again. It was autumn, still warm but soon it would
begin to get colder. But whilst the weather was mild he would continue to
come here, to this tree. To Kotori\'s tree. He loved it here and it was here that
Fuma still felt so close to his sister. The gentleness, the warmth, the feeling of
time having stopped and only all the good things captured and held.

Slowly he let his eyes close, letting his mind drift, sitting, half lying on the
tree\'s branch. The breeze fluttered against the open necked white shirt he was
wearing, sunlight adding touches of warmth to his neck.

One hand was bathed in the sunlight, resting on the branch. The warmth was
nice, he thought. Warmth on his hand...like the touch of another\'s hand.

Warm, slim fingers clasped around his. Hands that seemed so delicate, so
fragile, almost feminine, yet were masculine and had held such strength, such
power. He knew those hands well, could recall the touch of that hand as it lay
over his heart, there at the end.

Those hands matched well the body, the lean, slim lines. A fluid body, always
seeming in motion and yet it could hold so deathly still, so inwardly
absorbed. But so soft and yielding when enfolded in his embrace, so giving
and surrendering as the arms encircled his waist.

The soft silken hair, permanently moving in the air around it, the touch running
softly over
Fuma\'s hands, as he clasped the head to his chest and rested his cheek against
it.

The face was angular and elfin in looks, so expressive all the time, and the
crowning glory of that face was the eyes. The large, violet eyes that filled the
face, enough to make you forget everything else around you. Eyes that filled
with every emotion felt, filled and overflowed, eyes that were beautiful even
when brimming with tears or anger, eyes that held so much suffering, hope, pain,
yearning, wanting, caring, and ....love?

He could still see those eyes as they looked up at him, everything in them that
said he would always be there, that he would protect the world, that he
would protect Fuma as he promised, keep him safe, that he wanted Fuma to
be happy. Those eyes....Kamui.

Fuma opened his eyes with a jerk, sending the small birds fleeing in fright
from the sudden movement. His head snapped back to connect solidly with
the tree trunk, he didn\'t even feel that contact over the stabbing pain filling
his chest. He crushed the hand that had been warmed by the sun to his chest,
clasping it there, as though to hold onto that warmth, the ghost of a touch. Or
to keep the pain inside. The pain...the sorrow....the loss.

He slithered down the trunk to the ground, his peace shattered... again. He
had so few times when he forgot, for but a moment. His long legs stretched
out as he began to walk away, his strides lengthening, quickening, until he
was running, fleeing his memories, or running desperately to try and reach
something now out of reach. Both....neither, he just ran.

A bump against his shoulder made him stumble, his stride broken and he
became once more aware of his surroundings. He had left the Academy\'s
grounds, he was back in the city, crowded with people.

He stopped on the sidewalk, letting the throng of humanity part and move
around him, swirling around him in a riot of colours and sounds. He looked
upwards, at the soaring skyscrapers, stretching towards the blue sky, the
white clouds crowning them, the sun glinting from the many windows and
steel frames to make a halo around these man-made giants. This is what
Kamui wanted to save, the people, the city.

Fuma continued to look, to absorb everything around him, to try and believe
as Kamui had believed that all this had been worth it.

Fuma did like it. He liked the city, he liked the people, he liked this world.
Kamui had placed all his faith on this world, he had wanted to protect it, to
make it safe, to bring Fuma back to himself and give him a world to be happy
in.

And he had done it - he had brought Fuma back, the other \'Kamui\' gone in
that last instance, the world was safe as he had wished.

But Fuma could not be happy in it. For this beautiful world no longer held the
one thing that he wanted the most, that meant the most to him.

His eyes fastened on Tokyo Tower. He saw Kamui looking up at him, his eyes
filled with peace, hope and love, a gentle smile on his lips as he placed his
hand over Fuma\'s heart and told him that he would continue to live on his
heart always.

Yes, he had been right. He did live on in Fuma\'s heart. But it was not his heart
where Fuma wanted Kamui to be. He wanted Kamui to be there with him, in
person, in the flesh, to look at, to touch.

Tears pricked at his eyes, the pain stabbing again and he gripped his chest,
fingers digging into his flesh as though wanting to rip out the organ that
caused so much agony. At a stumbling run he fled again, seeking solace and
knowing he would find none.

He arrived back at the mansion at the Academy.

On that last fateful day he remembered standing at the edge of Tokyo Tower,
hand over his heart, feeling Kamui\'s essence engulfing himself and all the Earth.

He distantly heard the sound of a helicopter coming closer but paid it no
mind, his thoughts still full of what had occurred and the beginnings of the
loss to come. A scuff of a boot on metal behind him did make him turn.

There were two men standing there. One he dimly remembered as being a
Dragon of Heaven. The young man wasn\'t much older than Fuma, his long
pale coat tattered and torn, with more than one blood stain on it, fresh smears
on his face. One arm was thrown around the other man\'s shoulders as he
leant heavily on this aid, pain radiating from the thin body, but also an inner
strength. He was no longer a Dragon of Heaven, no longer a guardian of the
barriers, but there was still power there. Great power.

The dark head rose to look at Fuma more fully. Fuma started at the single
emerald eye, the other like a white crystal, clear and bottomless.

Another dim memory surfaced. Himself inflicting pain. Worst, inflicting
blindness. A feeling of horror came over him, a feeling of remorse for all that
he had done.

Something of it must have shown on his face for the young man took a deep
breath and left the other man\'s support, brushing aside the worried sound the
other made, and walked with slow, dragging steps towards Fuma.

Fuma felt trails of coldness on his cheeks as the wind dried the tears that ran
down his face. He still stood on the very edge of the tower.

The young man stopped before him, only a foot between them. He wasn\'t as
tall as Fuma and so had to look upwards a little, but this did not lessen the
feeling of power Fuma felt from him, nor did it lessen the feeling of respect
that Fuma felt.

More and more memories were beginning to surface for Fuma as he had
watched this man traverse the short distance. The tears continued to flow.
Fuma realised how much pain he had given, how many deaths he had
caused, how little he had cared.

“Kamui...Kotori,” he moaned, standing in the silence.

This man before him had suffered at his hand also, suffered greatly in his own
right and in his protection of Kamui against Fuma\'s wrath. It would be easy
for the man to reach out a hand and just...push. It would have been his right,
and Fuma wouldn\'t stop him. It was no less than he deserved after all he had
done. He could never set things right. It doesn\'t work that way.

The man continued to look at him silently, unmoving. Fuma waited for the
blow, wanting the blow. A hand rose towards him. This was it - revenge,
justice, the end. It was only right.

Fuma stood still, and as the hand drew nearer he closed his eyes, not from
fear but to look deeply at the last memory of a beautiful face and violet eyes,
to hold tightly to that memory in those final moments. But instead of the sharp
shove he was expecting and the feeling of falling, he felt a hand gently rest over
the hand he still clasped to his chest, over his heart. Startled he opened his
eyes to look into that uneven stare of the other,
the warmth of the hand over his stealing the chill from his skin.

“ome. There has been enough death. It is over.”

Those quiet words undid Fuma completely, and with a hard sob he dropped
to his knees, tears flowing freely from his eyes, both hands clasped over his
chest, crushing the fabric as wrenching sobs drove themselves from his body,
and he shook with them.

The other knelt before him, one hand still clasped over Fuma\'s under his body
and as he cried Fuma felt another arm settle gently over his back, drawing his
head to rest on the chest clad in tattered black material.

This warm touch of another person, the absolution given by one who had
every right to scream for justice, wiped away the last touches of the other
\'Kamui\' and all that had occurred.

Fuma began to make out soft words, whispered into his hair as a warm cheek
rested on his head as he continued to cry.

“It is time to move on and to live, and to hope. There are still wishes in this
world, though sometimes they may take some time before they can be
fulfilled. That is the gift that Kamui gave to us all. What choice do we have
but to honour that which he most deeply wanted for us all?”

Fuma continued to cry for a long time, cradled in the strong, warm arms of
the onmyouji master.

After that, the helicopter had taken Subaru to the hospital and Fuma to the
mansion. He was told that this was now his home. In a way he was extremely
grateful. He could not go back to the shrine. He could never go back there. Far
too many painful memories were there and if he went back he knew he would
be swallowed up by them and drown in the sorrow. He was not yet strong
enough for that. He was given a room and told to go wherever he wished in
that wing.

It was nearly a month before he felt able to leave his room. His meals had
been delivered to him there as was anything else he desired. The first week or
so he could do nothing but sit. He couldn\'t eat, couldn\'t sleep, his moments
haunted by returning memories. Nothing could break this cycle. Until Kotori
had come.

After her visitation, he was finally able to eat and sleep. He found that he
slept most of the rest of the time, a true sleep that for the most part was dreamless.
Sometimes his sleep was disturbed by nightmares but his body was drained. The unnatural
strength of the other \'Kamui\'s\' presence had pushed his mortal frame to the
limits, and with that power no longer there, his body was now desperately
trying to rebalance itself. So plenty of food and sleep was what it craved at
this point. Finally when he felt not only strong enough to walk but strong
enough in will and spirit, he left his room to look around.

There were many bedrooms in this wing. This was where the Dragons of
Heaven had lived. Admittedly, not all of them, but a number of them who
had not originally come from Tokyo.

Although they were gone and their rooms had been cleared after the final
battle, it was surprising that when Fuma wandered into them during his
exploration he found he could identify each. Perhaps it was the interaction of
the other \'Kamui\' with each Dragon of Heaven that had attuned him to their
presences, even this long after the Final Battle.

In one room as he wandered into it, he spotted a patch of yellow in the
darkness under the bed. Reaching under he pulled out a baseball cap.

Sorata, he thought, pulling up a memory of the other \'Kamui\'. A happy,
laughing boy. Intense and passionate. Embracing life head on. Killed by his
hand.

He dropped the cap as though burned. Dead.

He fled the room.

Another room was bright and airy. A girl\'s room, he thought, it had that feel
to it, the feminine calmness. Over at the window seat, on the ledge in the
corner, half hidden by a cushion, was a small brush. Two long brown hairs
still hung in its bristles.

Arashi, he placed a name to the face that flickered into his mind. A sword of
brilliance flashing as she fought to change the destiny of the man she had
loved.

And failed.

Again he fled the room.

Another was smaller, cosier, with a small study desk set up in a corner. An
empty box of snacks was half crumpled and pushed to one corner near the
wall. Fuma felt half a smile touch his lips.

Yuzuriha and Inuki, he thought.

He remembered this girl, the intense desire that was there in that small body,
the strength of spirit, the will to live and the great love she held in her heart.

He remembered the spirit dog striking him, pushing him away from its
mistress and the fierce look she had then given him as she half turned her
back towards him to protect the young spirit pup.

Yes, she was a strong one.

And she had found her match with a Dragon of Earth no less. Kusanagi, a
man just as full of encompassing love, and the fierce desire to protect that
which he wanted to. Which in this case was Yuzuriha. Although she was still
young, this would be a match to last. They would stay together now.

Fuma ran a gentle hand over the edge of the study desk. Yuzuriha would not
be using it again, she had gone home and had taken Kusanagi with her. She
would not be back.

Fuma did not flee this room but left it with an almost fond, though wistful
look. It was good that she was safe and would be happy.

Subaru\'s room had been pointed out to him at the start so he had never had
any intention of going in there. But by the time he had gained his strength he
had been told that Subaru, too, had left, returning to his family\'s estate in
Kyoto.

Now Fuma opened the door to what had been Subaru\'s room at times. It was
clean, fresh looking. Nothing left behind.

Leaning on the window ledge and looking outside, Fuma noticed a cigarette
butt resting there, half burn down as though it had slipped unnoticed from
someone\'s hand, not been thrown there.

Had Subaru smoked? Fuma didn\'t know for certain but guessed this must
have been the case. For some reason it reminded him of Seishiro
Sakurazukamori.

He had glimpses of memory of Subaru, always in relation to his being there to
protect Kamui. Those were the most intense images he had always from that
time. That fierce protectiveness that Subaru felt for what he wanted to protect,
at all costs.

Subaru had made it more than clear that he wanted no revenge, no pay back.
He wanted nothing from Fuma for the past. He had not seen Fuma in person
before leaving but he had left a note, which surprised Fuma in its politeness
and thoughtfulness. Subaru owed him nothing, certainly not any kind of
courtesy. The note simply said good-bye and a blessing to live well. Fuma
kept that note folded and placed in a pocket over his heart. He cherished that
note, for when he placed a hand over where it lay it made him feel as though
he was not alone. He trailed out of that room and continued on.

All the rooms held a memory of their occupant, a touch there, an essence here,
a memento of the individuals, both living and dead, of who and what these
people were, not just Dragons of Earth.

The baseball cap of Sorata\'s wasn\'t just an inflection of being \'cool\', he
actually did enjoy this American game.

Arashi had beautiful long hair and did like to sit at the window and brush it,
a small moment of vanity in her austere life.

Yuzuriha loved to munch her snacks whilst studying, and it was a good thing
she was so active to burn off the calories or this habit could become a problem
for her later!

Subaru obviously smoked, unusual in itself for an onmyouji master, but it
made him more human as well.

All the rooms held these parts of these people for Fuma to see, read and feel.

But there was one room that held nothing.

It was a large room, spacious and beautiful, a separate sitting room joined it.
It was glorious - and totally empty of anything that had been its previous
occupier.

This was Kamui\'s room, he had been told. He had come here hoping to find
something of Kamui\'s, a token, a feeling, anything.

But there was nothing.

There was no sense of Kamui in this room, and no matter how hard Fuma
looked, how desperately he searched, there was nothing left here that had
been Kamui\'s.

Nothing.

This room was empty, it held no memories of the person before, it would be
completely filled by the person coming after.

Fuma felt his heart lurch in his chest and dropped heavily to his knees at the
side of the bed. He stretched his arms out before him, spreading his hands
over the sheets and gripping them, scrunching them together as he buried his
face into the white crispness, his hot tears soaking into the layers.

Kamui wasn\'t here.

He was gone....

Gone.