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The Doc, The Freak And The Bishie	By : Kuroneko Category: Gravitation > Crossovers Views: 938 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own this anime/manga, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Doc, The Freak And The Bishie
- 2-Chapter Two
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DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gravitation, Yami No Matsuei, GetBackers or Orphen or anything affilliated with them. I DO own Aiko and Shingami, as although they are based on actual people, the point is that they are BASED. They're MY original characters, and anyone caught stealing them might find themselves in trouble. I'm not making any profit off this fic either, I just wrote it for fun and posted it for the same reason. Enjoy! ^_^

---- During a rather gargantuan heatwave somewhere in Australia ----

�Jesus fucking Christ it�s hot here!

Shuichi Shindou wiped his brow for the fifteenth time as he strode down the street. His bleached blonde hair clung wetly to his forehead and a bead of sweat jiggled on the end of his nose. �I mean really Kay, why the hell are we here?�

Kay responded by slapping a fly that had stupidly decided that landing on the back of his neck would be a good idea. �If I�ve told you once, I�ve told you a thousand times. Rage said you�re starting to come apart at the seams. She said what you need is a nice vacation, somewhere new where you won�t be mobbed by bajillions of screaming girls.� He flicked his long hair out of his eyes. �So my orders are to take you on holiday for a few days.�

�Yeah, but HERE?!� Shuichi swept his arm out in exasperation. �I don�t know what�s worse, the heat or the people!!�

He wasn�t joking. Almost everyone who had passed the Japanese pair earlier that day had given them an assortment of strange looks ranging from disgust, fear, and one that gave Shuichi a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach, which usually meant that said person was in the middle of a perverted daydream.

�Well, what do you expect? This is Darwin, after all. The Gateway to Australia, which is the fifty-first state of America.� Kay let the derision show on his handsome face. �Poor bastards get pushed around by America so much it�s not funny anymore.�

Shuichi pretended not to hear. �Yeah, but why are we here in particular?�

Kay shrugged. �I figured it�d be a nice change to the weather we�ve been used to as of late. I always did like the tropics.� He shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. �There�s just something about the place, I guess. Besides,� he said, falling back into his trademark madman�s smile �- there�s an old acquaintance of mine who lives here. We�re going to meet him now, actually.�

Shuichi mentally weighed up his chances of surviving an encounter with another one of Kay�s wacko buddies. Not so good. He thought about his chances of escaping from Kay, fleeing to the nearest airport and jumping the first plane back to Tokyo. Not so good either. Sighing, Shuichi resigned himself to his fate, deciding to instead concentrate on the little bead of water on the tip of his nose that was slowly driving him insane.

�Are we there yet?� he asked Kay, deliberately trying to bait him.

�Well yeah, pretty much,� Kay shrugged, pointing at the massive shopping mall in the distance on his right.

�THANK GOD!! AIR CONDITIONING!!!� Shuichi squealed with delight and broke into a sprint, laughing like a lunatic. �COLDCOLDCOLDCOLDCOLDCOLDCOLD!!!!�

�Ahhhhm, Shuichi?� Kay called after him, �What are you doing?�

�Getting the hell out of this heat!� Shuichi yelled gleefully. The large automatic doors and their hoard of sweet, cool air were only a few metres away�

�You should probably stop��

CRAAAASH!

��they�re not opening for another twenty minutes.�

Shuichi didn�t hear. He was passed out in a pile of frosty broken glass, grinning like a madman and bleeding like a stuck pig.

-------- Forty minutes and twenty-seven stitches later --------

Kay and Shuichi sat at a table in the food court. Or more accurately, Kay was sitting at a table in the food court and Shuichi was desperately trying to hide behind a potted plant while Kay was eating at supersonic speed. With his fingers crossed, Shuichi silently prayed that the greedy git would get a bone stuck in his throat and choke to death. Or mall security would be alerted by his thunderous belching and throw him out. Or maybe he�d get food poisoning and while he�s busy worshipping the god of porcelain he could call a taxi, get to the airport and make it home in time to catch Yuki for Sunday breakfast.

�Sh-Shuichi? What are you URRRRRRRP!! � what are you doing?�

Doing his utmost not to cry in frustration, Shuichi shuffled out from behind the dwarf magnolia and sat down at Kay�s table. Kay gave him an amused look, which is very hard to do when you�re wiping chicken grease out of your nostrils.

�Man, you still look parched. You sure you don�t want a drink?� Kay proffered a half empty bottle of Mountain Dew. Shuichi recoiled from the chunks of chicken and salad and ohmigod, what the fuck is that? � floating in it. �Umm, I think I�ll pass thanks Kay.�

Kay shrugged. �Feh. More for me.�

He twisted the top of the bottle off and drank deeply. Shuichi swallowed hard and tried to think of Yuki. It didn�t help much. He tottered a little bit as he tried to keep his stomach under control.

Kay noticed, and frowned. �Hey Shuichi, are you okay? You look greener than three-week old coleslaw.�

The mental image only made things worse. Shuichi hiccoughed and prayed that he would not throw up in front of all these people, he was here on holiday, he was supposed to be relaxing�

Kay had lost interest in Shuichi and was instead riffling through the empty wrappers on the table. He let out a triumphant shout. �Ha-hah! Score! Another piece of chicken!!�

This was too much for Shuichi. He felt his knees wobble and give way, then the cold hard tile came up to meet him and his vision went black.

Shuichi heard Kay splutter. For an instant he dared to hope his wish had come true, but then he heard Kay say quite loudly -

�AW, FUCK!!�

- and knew otherwise.

Kay drew his beloved Magnum out of its holster. Just for fun, he pointed it at a random person and pretended to blast her, while supplying his own sound effects.

�BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! KA-BOOOOM!!�

He laughed as the oblivious people in the food court continued eating their food without any mayhem or wild panic. He shrugged and pointed his Magnum at the ceiling and pulled the trigger a couple of times. That did the trick.

�Oi!� Kay yelled over the screaming, �� is there a doctor in the house, err, mall?�

Please don�t let there be a doctor, Shuichi thought. I don�t want to live anymore.

�Helloooo??� Kay fired off a couple more shots. �A doctor, people, a doctor!�

Shuichi�s eyesight returned slowly to reveal a pair of white, pointed shoes. They happened to be pointed at him, and Shuichi made a conscious effort to move away lest he lose an eye.

�Who the hell are you?� Kay demanded.

�You did just call for a doctor, didn�t you?� said a low and rich male voice.

Kay rubbed the back of his neck. �Uhhh, yeah.�

The man ignored Kay and sank into a crouch next to Shuichi. �What happened?�

Kay holstered his Magnum and leaned back to watch him. �Dunno. He went green like he was gonna puke and then he just collapsed.�

Shuichi felt something cool and soft press against his forehead � the man�s hand. Next, a pair of fingers gently pressed into his wrist.

�Can you speak?� the man asked.

Shuichi moistened his lips and coughed. �Y-yes.�

The man put an arm around Shuichi�s shoulders and helped him sit up. �Heat exhaustion, and what seems like blood loss. How very careless of you. Drink more fluids next time you decide to come here, or you might just end up going home in a bag.�

He hoisted Shuichi to his feet. �Are you alright now?�

There was the unmistakable sound of Kay opening the bottle of soft drink again, and Shuichi�s knees gave way again. He slipped out of the man�s grasp and collapsed into a boneless heap on the floor.

�Here, you�d better give him this,� Kay said. �He needs it more than I do.�

Shuichi tried to shake his head frantically, but all he could manage was a limp nod.

�Are you completely out of your mind? If we gave that to him it would be a wonder if he lived.�

�If you�re suggesting we get him a different drink, you could have just said so,� Kay replied stiffly, �and just for the record, yes, I am.�

There was the sound of another bottle being opened, then Shuichi felt a plastic rim thrust between his teeth. Mineral water. He gratefully drank until there was no more.

�Hmmm. You can hold a lot, can�t you?� The stranger�s voice sounded amused. He pulled Shuichi to his feet again. �You should have enough strength to stand in a moment. Drink more water. You�ll need at least a glass every hour for as long as you�re in this heat.�

Shuichi blinked a few times; then his sight slowly cleared completely. He stared at the man who was standing in front of him; at the silver hair that came down across the left side of his face to the tip of his nose, hiding his left eye. He wore a pair of rectangular square spectacles and was wearing, despite the heat, a large white trenchcoat. However, Shuichi�s eyes were drawn to the large circular earrings he was wearing. The paleness of his skin made them shine like droplets of blood.

The man smiled. �Now, if you�ll excuse me, I had some business to attend to.� He went to walk past, and Shuichi felt warm breath against his ear.

�And thank you for a very enjoyable interruption,� he murmured, then he was gone.

Kay scratched the back of his head. �Whoa, what the fuck was he about?�

Shuichi felt a chill run down his spine. �Beats me. When is your friend supposed to get here? I�m getting tired of waiting.�

Kay shrugged. �Actually, he�s going to meet us near a store called EB. I just needed to get something to eat.�

He laughed and began to walk towards the escalators. Shuichi stood motionless for a moment, completely still except for one twitching eyebrow.
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The Doc, The Freak And The Bishie