Building the Perfect Babe

Slayers: Building the Perfect Babe

Summary: An evil wizard takes the DNA of Lina and Naga to create the "perfect" woman for him. Unfortunately, he forgets to get their O.K. First. However, some bishonen but inept warriors step into the picture as well... M/F.

Lina Inverse had arrived at the town with Naga the Serpent accompanying her.
"Finally, a town where we can relax." Lina said. Stories about their destructive visits to towns were well known throughout the shire. They walked down the main street and came to a young man who was sweeping the front stoop.
"Excuse me, where's the nearest tavern? We're hungry and scored a bunch of gold." Naga said.
"It's a block down and on the left. Say, who are you two?" He asked.
"Why, I am the great Naga the Serpent!" Naga replied with much vanity. She didn't understand why the man ran into his home and locked the door. They then noted that the other people in the town were doing the same.
Clack! Clunk! Slam! Whap! One by one, all windows and doors closed and locked. Lina and Naga looked around and saw this happening.
"Hahahahahaha! They are obviously intimidated by my beauty." Naga said with much arrogance. Lina, naturally, was not amused.
"What's going on here!? Who dares shun the great Lina Inverse!?" Lina shouted. Silence answered her, which, in turn, made her angrier. Lina then knocked on the door.
"If you don't open this door, I'm gonna trash it with a fireball!!" Lina shouted.
"Calm yourself, Inverse-san." A voice from behind them said. Lina and Naga spun around to see an old man there.
"I am Mayor Waffle. We need your services. An evil wizard periodically comes in and steals all our food. He struck last night, and our cupboards are bare. The town was afraid that you'd be so upset by this that you'd destroy everything." The man said. Lina and Naga looked downhearted.
"No food? Man that blows!" Naga said.
"So what's our reward for getting rid of this guy?" Lina asked.
"We can pay you some gold, and hold a banquet in your honor." The Mayor said.
"All right, you got a deal." Lina said.

They went down the path towards this sorcerer's lair. It was supposed to be only an hour or so on foot, but it went through a forest with a lot of twists and turns in it. Lina and Naga, despite using their best navigating skills and a map, got hopelessly lost.
"Let me see that map." Lina said, taking it from Naga. Lina read the map in horror.
"Hey! This is a map to the Fields of Frotzen! That's miles away from here!" Lina shouted in anger.
"You're looking at the wrong side." Naga said plainly. Lina turned the map over and saw the forest side.
"This thing is confusing." Lina said. She and Naga stopped beneath a tree and tried to get their bearings. Suddenly, a pair of bishonen warriors fell out of the tree Naga and Lina were standing under.
"AAAAH!!" One of them screamed as he kissed dirt. They both quickly stood up and the larger of the two pulled out his sword. He was a tall man, stacked with lots of muscles.
"Hold there, maidens! We will not let you harm others!" He shouted.
"Hey, shouldn't we find out if they're friendly first?" The other asked. Although shorter and not as muscular, he was handsome nonetheless.
"Well... Maybe you have a point. Are you friend or foe?" The larger one asked.
"That depends. Who are you two, anyway?" Lina asked.
"Why, I am Seballos, warrior extraordinaire!! Armies tremble at the mention of my name and my skill!" The larger one said.
"My name is Derrigus." The shorter one said. "What's yours?"
"I am the great Lina Inverse." Lina said. "This is Naga the Serpent." Lina gestured to Naga. Naga was staring at Seballos with stars in her eyes, and blushing. Lina looked downhearted.
"Oh great. I've lost Naga here... You know, maybe that's a bad thing." Lina said.
"So why are you going this way?" Derrigus asked.
"We're on our way to stop the sorcerer that's been terrorizing the village." Lina said.
"Ah, a noble quest! The services of my friend and I are at your service, dear maidens." Seballos said. Naga came up to him and smiled.
"Well, it's nice to see you appreciate beauty when you see it." Naga said. She had the attitude of "you're gonna be my love slave" when it came to guys she liked. Why shouldn't I; I am *every* man's fantasy. Men are lucky just to gaze upon my perfect figure, she thought. Of course, Seballos was a man of many muscles and few brains. He didn't realize Naga liked him. Well, the four of them set off to find the castle. Along the way, Naga was fawning over Seballos, who was clueless about her intentions.
"So, Seballos, do you have a girlfriend now?" She asked.
"No." Seballos tersely answered.
"Want to change that?" Naga asked.
"Someday, perhaps. We have a mission to complete now!" Seballos replied. Despite Naga's practically wrapping herself around him and her loving tone, Seballos still was unaware that she loved him. Well, by the time that they found the sorcerer's castle, it was nightfall. The four of them camped out and had dinner. This consisted of a stag that Seballos inadvertently killed. After dinner, Lina and Derrigus walked away from them. Derrigus and Lina talked.
"We seem to have something in common. We both have a pompous, egotistical partner in fighting." Derrigus said.
"Yea. Naga can be so annoying at times." Lina said.
"You seem to be sweeter, though." Derrigus said. Lina gave a polite smile.
"That's not really saying much though." Lina said.
"How about you're hotter than your partner then?" Derrigus asked. Lina blushed.
"You really think so?" She asked.
"Your smile is more infectious, and you don't have that annoying laugh." Derrigus said. Lina thought for a moment.
"Well, yea, Naga's laugh is really annoying..." Lina said.
"Well, when we're done with this adventure, how about spending some time with me?" Derrigus asked. There was a brief pause.
"Why not spend some time with me now?" Lina asked. She then took Derrigus' arm into hers.
"You got it, Lina." Derrigus said. They held hands and got to know each other some more.

Back at the camp, Seballos and Naga were together. Naga was cuddling up to Seballos.
"So... What are you thinking about?" Naga asked Seballos in a sweet voice.
"I am thinking about the battle we will have tomorrow. We will storm this villain's lair, defeat him handily and return in glory!" Seballos said.
"Well... What do you think about me?" Naga asked.
"You seem to be a sorceress of great skill. I'm sure with your magic and my sword; we'll easily beat this villain." Seballos said, much to Naga's disappointment. Naga's smile turned to a frown.
"No, no, I mean what do you think of me as a woman?" Naga asked.
"In the heat of battle, gender doesn't matter! It's how well you fight!" Naga was getting frustrated. She pulled away from Seballos.
"Do you have a girlfriend now?" Naga asked.
"No." Seballos replied.
"Would you like one?" Naga asked.
"I live for the thrill of battle!" Seballos replied. Naga's look was one of extreme anger here.
"Damnit, what is it going to get you to like me back!?" Naga snapped at Seballos.
"Huh?" Seballos replied. "Oh - well, I like you as well, Naga." Naga was still angry, but came back to him.
"You are pretty clueless at times, aren't you?" Naga said. Seballos put an arm around her.
"Well, I... Usually save the fun for after the fight." Seballos said. Naga returned his arm and smiled.
"The best time for a good time is always now." Naga said.

Well, the next morning, the four of them arrived at the castle where the evil mage was. He was named Denjiro, the scourge of the shire. Seballos and Derrigan sized the place up.
"Ah-ha! There is a window open in the tower we can use! Come, Derrigus!" Seballos said as he pulled out a rope with a hook at the end. He then threw the rope up to the top of the tower and started climbing it. Lina and Naga looked downhearted.
"Dude, we can fly us up there." Lina said. Seballos was too engrossed in climbing to pay attention to her.
"This guy isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, is he?" Lina asked.
"Yea, but he's strong enough to make up for it." Derrigus replied. Lina and Naga flew up to the window, and Lina carried Derrigus.

Once inside, they were immediately attacked by six straw golems. Seballos drew his sword and smiled.
"Ah-ha! A call to arms! Prepare your sword, Derrigus! We'll hack these golems to pieces!" Seballos said.
"Fire ball!" Lina shouted as she fired a fireball from her hands, striking the straw golems. The golems immediately burst into flames, and died.
"Ah, well-played! More adventure waits!" Seballos said as he took off. Derrigus followed him, leaving Naga and Lina by themselves.
"Shouldn't we follow them?" Naga asked.
"I don't want to follow that idiot into a trap." Lina said. Naga took offense to this.
"What do you mean idiot!? He may be clueless, but he's not an idiot!" Naga said in anger.
"Now you're in denial." Lina said.
"You're just jealous because he likes me and not you! He wants a woman with full tits!" Naga retorted.
"You're more than welcome to him, Naga. You two deserve each other." Lina said.
"Flat chest!" Naga retorted. She could be very childish when it came to things she held dear. At that moment, both of their stomachs growled.
"Hey, this isn't getting us anywhere. We need to defeat this wizard and get the food!" Lina said. They then went towards the stairs.

"Ho! We have more villains to defeat!" Seballos said. He was standing opposite a suit of armor. There was nothing inside, and it was there strictly for decoration, but that didn't stop Seballos from presuming the worst.
"We are on a mission to defeat you! Prepare to die!" Seballos shouted as he raced towards the armor, weapon drawn.
"Ssh! Keep it down, will you!?" Derrigus said in a hushed tone. Naturally, as always, Seballos ignored the voice of reason. He struck the empty armor with his sword, and it fell in pieces onto the floor with a loud crash. This thunderous bang, naturally, attracted some straw golems.
"Why do I put up with you?" Derrigus asked Seballos, who didn't pay attention.
"Ah, more of you! Prepare to be defeated!" Seballos shouted. He rushed headlong into them, his sword leading the way...

Back with Lina and Naga, The two of them were hit with a magic spell, although neither of them even sensed it. They felt it as a gentle breeze blowing into the hall. However, what it did was take a strand of hair from each of them and send it to Denjiro. He smiled as he received the hairs.
"Ah... Now, my plan for creating the ultimate sorceress can begin!" Denjiro said. He then proceeded to place the hairs into a six-foot tall jar filled with a hazy liquid. Denjiro started casting the spell that would turn the hair into a woman.

Back with Seballos, he had hacked his way through the straw golems. Actually, it was more Derrigan doing all the work. Derrigan had pulled a torch off the wall and used it. Seballos sheathed his sword.
"Ah, the enemy fought valiantly, but in their skill was no match for mine." Seballos said boisterously.
"Seballos, keep it down!" Derrigan said in a hushed tone. He then put the torch back on the wall.
"Let the enemy come! My blade aches to slash their miserable hides!" Seballos said. Derrigan could only facepalm at this point.
"Why do I put up with this?" Derrigan asked himself quietly. He then remembered that Seballos does attract hot babes like Naga. Derrigan then followed Seballos.

Lina and Naga found the lab of Denjiro, just as he finished the incantation. He turned around saw them there.
"Well, you are too late. I now have what I want from you, and so you no longer serve any use to me." Denjiro said.
"What are you talking about?" Naga asked.
"Well, in this jar is your daughter, in a way. I had the villagers send you here." Denjiro said.
"You expect us to just let you create a woman from us!?" Lina asked with anger.
"No, my dear Miss Inverse, I expect you to die! Hehehehehehehe!" Lina thought it wasn't humanly possible to have a laugh more annoying than Naga's, and she hated him even more for proving her wrong on that point. Lina grimaced at him for this.
"So why did you have the villagers send us here?" Naga asked.
"Why? I wanted the DNA of both of you. Put together, you two would make an excellent companion!" The sorcerer said.
"What!? You wanted us so you could make a copy of us!?" Lina asked in astonishment.
"Well, I can see why you would want a woman with my looks, but why ruin that with Lina's DNA?" Naga asked.
"Your ass is as flat as a pancake. I like a babe with a round ass." The sorcerer replied. This made Naga very angry.
"WHAT!? I DO NOT HAVE A FLAT ASS!!!" Naga shouted. Lina, realizing she may have a way to stop Naga from harping on her flat chest, jumped on the bandwagon.
"He's right, you know. You got it all up front and nothing behind." Lina said.
"Don't you start in on me as well, miss flat chest!!" Naga snapped back.
"Well, can't handle the truth can we?" Lina retorted.
"I DO NOT HAVE A FLAT ASS!" Naga shouted.
"ENOUGH OF THIS! IT'S TIME FOR YOU TWO TO DIE!" The sorcerer shouted. He proceeded to summon a large fireball, which he hurled at them.
"Oh, don't make me laugh. Water spout!" Lina shouted as she gestured. Water came from the ground and hit the fireball, it weakened a lot but when it hit Lina, it did singe her.
"Hahahahahaha! Lina-chan, looks like you need to brush up on your water magic." Naga said. She then threw a fireball at Denjiro. However, he waved his hand, and the fireball came back and hit Naga.
"Return!" Denjiro shouted. Naga was unable to avoid it, and the fireball struck her.
"You are pathetic. You had best surrender now!" Denjiro shouted.
"Never!" Lina retorted.
Suddenly a bell rang out.
"Ah, she is done. Now we'll see her in her full glory!" Denjiro said.

-To Be Continued-