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If You Only Knew	By : Fur Category: +S to Z > XXXholic Views: 8812 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own XXXholic, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-If You Only Knew
- 2-You Don't Have To Be Alone
- 1
- 2
Author�s
Notes: Hey there! Bet no
one expected to see me playing around in this fandom, eh? XXXholic is actually
one of my very favourite fandoms, but sadly there just isn�t enough
Doumeki/Watanuki fanstuff out there. So I took it upon myself to try and contribute,
and this is the result! This plot bunny snuck up on me months ago and I have
slaved and slaved over it, trying to get it right, and finally it is all
spiffed up and ready to be posted! Hurray!

Originally I�d intended it as a oneshot, buuuuuut� it got
a little out of control. XD So it�s gonna be a two-shot.

The
disclaimer!� Nope, don�t own it. If I did,
XXXholic would update much more frequently, and the boys would be given
entirely different kinds of missions, heh heh heh�

Pairings:
Doumeki/Watanuki (one-sided
Doumeki/Himawari at the beginning BUT I SWEAR IT MEANS NOTHING! PLOT DEVICE!
PLOOOOT DEVIIIIICE! DON�T CLICK THE BACK BUTTON!)

Summary: It�s hard to love someone who has no
idea you exist. But sometimes in the end it turns out you were focusing your
attention on the wrong person, anyways.�

Warnings: Yaoi (boy/boy) stuffs. Although the
TRUE warning (considering this is ME writing) should be of the hints of
heterosexual feelings at the beginning. BEWARE! But I promise they go away.
Promisepromisepromise.

Other stuff: Although this is not a �songfic� in the sense that
there are lyrics inserted at random intervals, this story WAS based on a song.
�Tongue Tied� by Farrah, to be exact. The events of the story match up almost
perfectly with the story the lyrics describe, and it�s a really fun song! You
should give it a listen! (it can be found on one of Asian Kung-Fu Generation�s
compilation albums)

.o.O.o.

If You Only Knew

.o.O.o.

Tongue tied

I want you

And you know I always will

Inside

So shy

If only you knew what a state
I'm in

-o-

Watanuki rushed though his home, carefully balancing
his heaping armful of homemade snacks and drinks (not to mention the phone and
a few remote controls) as he stumbled into the living room. Dropping everything
unceremoniously onto the floor directly in front on the television, Watanuki
hastily sorted them out, first grabbing for the remote and flipping the TV on,
and turning to the appropriate channel.

" � and as you can see it's quite a turnout here
at the premier of Himawari's newest film, and it's already looking like it's
going to be quite a hit with audiences�"

Watanuki continued to lay everything out in front of
himself, but did so on auto-pilot, so that he never once had to look away from
the scene. Without even looking he automatically set the snacks before himself,
drinks to the right, phone to the left (so that if it rang he could just pick
it right up and wouldn't have to go running down the hall to answer it) and the
remotes below it. Pushing a small red button on one of the remotes, he started
recording what he was watching before settling down, sitting crosslegged only a
few feet away from the television's glowing screen so that he could be sure
that he wasn't missing a thing.

Himawari was Watanuki's favourite star.
Singer/songwriter, movie star, prestigious fashion model, animal rights
activist � she could do it all. She was beautiful and charming, and had a
mischievous, mystifying air about her. And Watanuki knew everything
about her. From her favourite colour, to her birthday, to where she was born,
to her shoe size, to the kind of shampoo she favoured � he knew it all down to
the very last little detail. Some might call it obsessive, but Watanuki called
it love. Yes, he was in love with Himawari, and he wasn't afraid to admit it.
Everything about her was perfect, and Watanuki lived for the day when he's
finally get to meet her, and she would realize how much he loved her, and they
would get married and live happily ever after. At least that's how it went in
his imagination. In reality, he'd never once come even close to getting
anywhere near her, but that was besides the point. The point was that he
and Himawari were destined to end up together; he just knew it. It was fate.

Scootching a bit closer to the television screen and
pushing his thin glasses up the bridge of his nose, Watanuki took in the events
playing out before him. There must have been a million people who had shown up
to the premier, and there were so many stars and celebrities that it was hard
to keep track of. But Watanuki was only watching for one thing, one person, and
the lights and sounds and people blurred before his eyes as he waited for �

"�so as tonight's premier gets underway, let us
just say that we're so honoured to be a part of � Oh my God, here she is!"

Watanuki's eyes snapped over to the corner of the
screen and focused on one lone figure as the cameras zoomed in. Stepping out of
a long, fancy car and wearing a most beautiful and elaborate outfit � there she
was. Himawari. The star of Watanuki's every dream and fantasy. Plastering
himself to the screen, the dark haired boy watched her wave delicately to the
gathered crowd as she stepped onto the deep red carpet that had been laid out
just for her. As the cameras shifted, she looked directly into them, flashing a
dazzling smile and waving to the audience that was watching her from home.
Watanuki's very breath caught in his throat. She was waving right at him.
Sighing, his blue eyes followed her every movement as she took a step forward,
glancing back behind herself to the still open car door.

And that was when Watanuki got a very frustrating
reality check.

Out from the car stepped a male not much older than
himself. "Doumeki�" The disgruntled Watanuki growled, glaring
at the screen. Doumeki was Himawari 's personal bodyguard/escort, and thus went
with her everywhere to insure her safety. In Watanuki's obsessive collection of
information about Himawari, he had picked up on a few scattered facts and
figures about Doumeki, but overall Watanuki didn't care so much about learning
about him as much as learning
how it might be possible to acquire heat vision lasers so that he could kill
him. Stupid Doumeki, always
budging into the spotlight with Himawari and ruining Watanuki's until-then
unobscured ogling.

Really, Watanuki thought, he wasn't so unlike
Doumeki. They were both young guys, both had dark hair, they both� um� uh�
Okay, so maybe Doumeki drove around in a really nice car, and had nicer hair,
and he was tall, and more built, and� damn. But Watanuki bet that Doumeki guy
didn't know that Himawari secretly harboured the belief that her arms weren't
as shapely as she would like, or that cats were her favourite animals. Also,
Watanuki bet Doumeki didn't know how much Himawari liked to occasionally
indulger herself with fine wine. Why, if he ever got a chance to serve her
wine, Watanuki didn't even know what he would do with himself!

On the television, Himawari started walking down the
red carpet, taking long, graceful strides and occasionally waving at her
gathered fans. Oh, what Watanuki wouldn't give to be among them! But the
premier was happening so far away, and it was a school night, and� he hadn�t
gotten an invite. Curses! As a result, Watanuki had been forced to settle for watching
the premier from home on the television, on a local station that was covering
the event live. At least this way he got to see close-ups of his beloved
without being cut off by hordes of other screaming fans, right? Yes, that
was compensation enough, Watanuki thought, taking a sip of his drink. There
was Himawari's beautiful, shining face, right there in front of �

"GRAH!" Watanuki burst, throwing a bag of
opened chips at the TV, resulting in a cascade of crunchy, golden flakes to go
spilling all over the floor. But Watanuki didn't even notice � he was too busy
trying to send psychic death rays to Doumeki, who had just placed his hand at
Himawari 's waist, and was playing the part of a perfect gentleman, leading her
down the carpet.

"No, no, no, no, NO!" Watanuki fumed,
chucking a remote at the wall. "Stop touching her, you lowly escort! She
doesn't love you!"

It was a good thing Watanuki lived alone, because he
tended to get rather riled where Himawari was concerned. Actually, Watanuki
tended to get very riled in general, but it was magnified tenfold when Himawari
was involved. Bitterly watching as Doumeki led his love of his life down
the red carpet and into the theatre, Watanuki heaved a sigh as the theatre
doors closed, shutting out any further visual of his beloved.

"And that's it for tonight, folks!" The TV
announcer was saying. "If you didn't manage to catch a place at the
premier, Himawari 's new movie will be opening in all other theatres tomorrow,
so be sure to go and see it!" Oh yes, Watanuki was definitely going
to be going to see that movie tomorrow. He'd had his tickets reserved for over
a month. (He would have gotten them sooner, but the theatre hadn't had the
facilities to accommodate his 'must-be-first-person-in-town-with-tickets' desires,
and had apparently taken issue with his desire to reserve a ticket before they
were legally reservable.) Watanuki was about to turn the television off � using
the remote that hadn't been hurled at the wall (having left a sizeable
dent that would have to be later explained if anyone was to spy it) � when one
last announcement caught his ears.

"�and for all you Himawari fans aspiring to meet
her in person, Himawari is going to be coming to our city on the thirtieth to
promote the launching of her new fashion line! Be sure to check out details and
reserve your place as soon as possible! In other local news, Green Drugstore is
going to be offering�"

Watanuki's mind had gone blank. There was no possible
way he had just heard that Himawari � the Himawari � was going to be
coming to his city. This� this couldn't possibly be happening! This was
the moment Watanuki had been waiting for his entire life! This was it, this was
his chance! All his dreams would finally be coming true!

Watanuki checked his watch. 8:55. The local ticket
agency wouldn't be closing for another five minutes, and if he ran really, really
fast, he just might be able to get his ticket tonight.

.x.X.x.

Time, Watanuki decided, was a cruel, cruel illusion.
When you needed more of it, it always seemed to be in short supply, but when
you were needing it to hurry up and just go, it seemed to pick that
opportunity to slow down to a snail�s pace. Not just a snail's pace, but a snail
stuck in molasses pace.

The next few weeks seemed to drag on forever for
Watanuki, but finally, finally the day had arrived. The day he was going
to meet his future bride � the one and only Himawari. The day had dawned dismal
and grey, but even that couldn't dampen Watanuki's spirits. Pulling on a heavy
coat and scarf, Watanuki prepared to exit his house, making sure to remember to
lock the door behind him and tuck his ticket of admission securely in his
pocket. He honestly didn't care much for fashion, but if going to a fashion
show was his key to meeting Himawari, then he would gladly sit through it
without complaint. Besides, it was her clothing line, and everything she
was involved in was perfect and amazing and wonderful and perfect. And amazing
and wonderful.

Pulling his faux-fox scarf up over the lower half of
his face and tugging his hat down, Watanuki shivered at the cold blast of wind
that greeted him as he stepped out the door. His city had such strange weather
� one day it would be bright and sunny, regardless of the fact that it was the
middle of winter, and the next day would dawn with nearly arctic conditions.
Glad that the building that the fashion show was going to be held in wasn't
that far away, maybe only a fifteen minute walk, Watanuki hurried off in its
general direction. True, he was going to be hours early, but it would be
worth it when he was right up front next to the stage looking at Himawari in
person.

About halfway there, Watanuki was struck with acute
paranoia, and felt compelled to make sure his ticket was still in his pocket.
Unzipping his jacket partway despite the cold, and sticking his hands into the
warm, linen-lined inner pocket, Watanuki experienced a brief moment of pure
panic when he couldn't feel the small slip of paper where he had put it.
Gasping, Watanuki quickly clenched and unclenched his fingers, attempting to
find it, and after only a few seconds felt the brush of paper against his skin.
Breathing a sigh of relief, the dark haired boy withdrew his hand, clutching
the ticket tightly and bringing it in front of his face. "Don't scare me
like that!" He reprimanded, giving the slip of paper a little scolding
shake.

That's when time stopped. Somehow, some way, as he
gave that piece of paper that reprimanding little shake, it managed to slip ever
so slightly in his grip as a gush of wind simultaneously blew by, ripping
the precious little slip out of his hand.

"NO!" Watanuki cried, taking after it as it
was blown about by the wind. "NO, COME BACK! THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!"

Unfortunately, whenever people proclaim that 'this
isn't happening', it is indeed happening, and is usually quite unfortunate to
boot. So as the situation was indeed occurring, Watanuki had no choice but to
continue to run down the street, crashing into trash cans and parked cars as
the blustery wing carried his precious ticket this way and that. Once or twice,
it was almost within his grasp once more, only to be cruelly pulled away at the
last minute, just as his frozen fingers were just about to clasp it. In one
last, desperate attempt to retrieve his ticket, Watanuki launched himself at it
just as it was caught up by a rush of air, propelling himself forward and into
the street, where he fell right onto his stomach, knocking the air right out of
him as a car swerved, honking, to avoid hitting him. The feel of paper brushed
up against his fingers for a brief, shining moment, before being swept away in
the pull of air the car had created. Watanuki watched, horrified, as the ticket
was sucked directly under the car's tires, pulled down into a puddle and run
over.

Slowly, as if in a daze, Watanuki pushed himself off
the ground and took a few hesitant steps forward, glancing down. There, in the
puddle, was what was left of his ticket ��
a little glob of mushed and ripped paper that wasn't even recognizable
for what it had once been. Tears welled up in his blue eyes as Watanuki took a
few deep, steadying breaths�

�before he collapsed to his knees and let out an
anguished, reverberating sob.

"What did I do to deserve this?" He asked
the heavens. "What have I ever done? I'm a good person! I go to school and
I'm nice to animals, and I've never done anything illegal! All I wanted was to
see Himawari in person and tell her how much I love her, and this is what I
get? THIS ISN'T FAIR!"

Having his little mini-breakdown in the middle of the
street for a few more minutes (happy that no one was around to tell him that life
wasn't fair, and to just suck it up) Watanuki finally decided that he was going
to have to take action. He would see Himawari, if it was the last thing
he ever did! Standing up and brushing the damp gravel off of his pants,
Watanuki took off running in the direction of the fashion show, determined to
see the love of his life.

.x.X.x.

A few minutes later, and Watanuki was wishing he
hadn't decided to run all the way to the fashion show. It had started
raining again, so not only was he soaked, but his legs ached, his lungs felt
like they were on fire, and every breath he drew caused extreme agony. But damnit,
he was going to see Himawari!

Apparently others besides him had decided to opt on
the safe side and show up a few hours early, because when he finally arrived
back outside the fashion show building, there were already a few dozen people
lined up outside. Watanuki internally cursed his luck, but it was still early,
and he could still get in and get a good place if he figured out his ticket
dilemma.

"O�one ticket fo�for the show� please." The
dark haired boy panted to the girl behind the ticket counter. She was a cute
girl with short brown hair and large, soft eyes who he recognized from his
school, and he would have remembered his manners and made polite conversation
if he hadn't been so distraught at the moment.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" The girl replied,
sounding like she genuinely meant it. "But we've been sold out for weeks!
I'm just here for information�"

"I� what?" Watanuki asked, the information
not sinking in.

"I� I'm sorry�" The girl repeated,
nervously tugging on a lock of hair. "But we don't have any more
tickets�"

"I� okay�" Watanuki distractedly replied,
trying to organize his thoughts. "Well don't you have a record of who
bought them? I� I lost my ticket and I really need to get in to this
show�"

"I understand�" The girl replied, sounding
pained. "But� I'm afraid that we didn't keep a record of the tickets sold�
I� I don't really have any way to verify that you bought a ticket�"

"But I DID!" Watanuki cried,
anguished. "I did! I bought it weeks and weeks in advance!"

"I� I believe you�" The girl assured him,
looking unsure of the situation. "But I just� I don't think there's
anything I can do."

"But� I� I� okay�" Watanuki replied with
resignation. "Thanks anyways." He added in a hollow voice as he made
his way around the side of the building, back to where the crowd was starting
to gather.

"Sorry�" The ticket counter girl called
after him, and Watanuki waved a hand politely, but didn't bother to turn around
or reply.

Watanuki sat down on a bench in the park across the
street from the fashion show. As the hours passed, and everyone started to show
up, Watanuki contemplated what on earth he could have done in a past life to
deserve this. As it got dark, and the falling rain became illuminated by the
glow of the streetlights, Watanuki wondered if this was some sort of test from
the gods. But as the doors opened and people were admitted in, Watanuki decided
that come hell or high water he was getting into that show!

As the line diminished as everyone entered the
building, Watanuki took advantage of the fact that everyone seemed distracted
with what was going on out front and snuck his way around the back of the
building, back into the alleyway that ran behind it. Passing a few dumpsters
and a couple rummaging rats, Watanuki spotted what he was looking for � a small
overhang that sheltered a back entrance to the building.

"Yes!" He whispered triumphantly to
himself, mentally giving himself a big pat on the back for his own
ingeniousness. Slinking over to the door and using the light of the flickering
lamp that was affixed to the wall nearby, Watanuki grasped the handle, turned
it, and pulled.

Nothing.

"No, come on!" He pleaded, whipping a few
damp strands of black hair out of his eyes. "Please open!" Grasping
the handle in both hands, Watanuki furiously tugged and pulled, even enlisting
the help of his foot to give a swift, painful kick, but to no avail. "No,
no, no, no, no!" He chanted, pounding his fist against the door. "I have
to get in! It's destiny!" Watanuki insisted, punctuating his words with
occasional pounding. "Dear God, if you're up there please! Just
send me a sign!"

"�Can I help you?"

God?

Watanuki whipped around, wet strands of hair flipping
into his eyes once again, but he paid them no heed. He was momentarily blinded
as a bright flashlight was directed right at his face, and Watanuki could see
the silhouette of someone who looked like a security guard of some sort
standing behind the light. Panic gripped him as he realized that he had been
caught trying to break in, and he sank to his knees, clasping his hands
together and offering them up to the person who had caught him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He spouted. "I
promise I wasn't trying to do anything wrong, I just need to get in to
that show! I have to see Himawari, you don't understand!"

The person who had caught him didn't immediately
respond, and Watanuki could only assume that he was being sized up. He tried to
make himself look as pathetic and non-threatening as possible, hanging his head
and letting the rain fall on him, seeping through his already sopping wet
clothes and soaking him to the bone. He allowed himself to shiver a little to
add some dramatics to the situation.

"Hn."

The bright light was suddenly turned off, and
Watanuki risked looking up at his captor. Gasping, he rose to his feet,
pointing an accusatory finger at the person standing before him.

"YOU!"

In return for this not-so-eloquent outburst, Watanuki
received a roll of the eyes from the person he had mistaken as a security
officer. "Yes. Me."

"No, you� you don't understand!" Watanuki
insisted. "You� you're Doumeki!" The taller male adopted a slightly
befuddled expression upon hearing this.

"I don't understand that I'm Doumeki?"

"That� that's not what I mean!" Watanuki
elaborated. "It's just that you� YOU!"

"Me." Doumeki said once again, at this
point seemingly amused by Watanuki's inability to form coherent sentences.

"You� you're Himawari's personal bodyguard
escort person!" Watanuki finally got out. "You know her!"

"I do." Doumeki stated, crossing his arms
over his chest and adopting a pose that encouraged Watanuki to get to his
point.

Watanuki could easily say he'd never been happier to
see Doumeki, either on TV or, in this case, real life. And he could say this
quite easily because he had never once been even remotely close to being
happy to see Doumeki before. Ever. But now he reached out to the taller male
like a lifeline, placing a hand on either broad shoulder, gazing up at him
imploringly, blue eyes melting into a pair of golden amber ones. " Please!"
the smaller male pleaded, his eyes wide and imploring. "Please, I need
to meet Himawari!"

"Oh? And why is that?" Doumeki asked back,
curiously looking at Watanuki's hands on his person, not seeming to be able to
decide what he thought of it.

"Because�" Watanuki began, trying to
formulate a reply. How could he possibly express all the things Himawari meant
to him? But he had to, somehow, because this might be his only chance! Taking a
deep breath, and sliding his hands down Doumeki's shoulders to grip his upper
arms, squeezing slightly to accentuate his point he confidently replied
"Because I� I love her."

Doumeki quizzically looked him over, scrutinizing
him, and Watanuki gave the older male his best puppy face, hoping to sway him.
"You love her?" He echoed after a moment, and Watanuki nodded
furiously in affirmation. "Have you ever even met her before?"

"Well� no�" Watanuki admitted. "But�
but I just do, okay? Can't you understand that?"

"Not really." Doumeki honestly replied.

"Well I do." Watanuki reiterated, in
case he had somehow failed to get his point across thus far. "And I need
to meet her."

"So why didn't you just get a ticket to the
show?"

Watanuki's jaw went slack at the irony of the
situation, but he was able to old himself back from an outburst and reply with
an explanation. "I did get a ticket, I got a ticket weeks in
advance, before anyone else, but on my way over here� urgh, you wouldn't
believe me if I told you, but suffice to say I lost my ticket, and they were
all sold out and I� I just need to see her! It's fate!"

"Fate." Doumeki echoed in a disbelieving
voice.

"Yes!" Watanuki insisted. "Fate! I
know it's fate, because I went to some sort of weird fortune telling, wish
granting shop or something! There were these freaky-annoying little girls that
ran around, and then the shopkeeper woman made me hold some huge, jewel-adorned
black rabbit and make her food, but I did it so that I could find out that
it was my fate to meet Himawari and fall in love and live happily ever after!"

"That's what the woman said?" Doumeki
asked, raising an eyebrow. "That all that was going to happen?"

Watanuki opened his mouth to form an indignant reply
before shutting it again. Well� no, that hadn't been exactly what the
woman said, but it had been close. "She� she said I would meet Himawari,
and through her I would find love�"

"Well that doesn't necessarily mean that you'll
find love with her, does it?" The taller boy pointed out.

"SHUT UP!" Watanuki shot back, shivering.
The rain was starting to come down even harder now, flecks of raindrops were
covering his glasses and fogging them up so that he could barely even see.
Urgh, how was Doumeki just standing there?! Was he impenetrable to the
elements or something? "Yes it does! It means that I'm going to meet
Himawari and fall in love! That's why you need to let me in!"

Doumeki looked Watanuki over once more, taking in the
soggy black hair, completely soaked clothing, and pathetic but determined pout.
Watanuki noted with some indignation that a corner of the taller male's mouth
twitched up into a smirk for a moment before his golden eyes met back up with
Watanuki's blue ones once more.

"You're soaking wet."

"I know I'm soaking wet!" Watanuki
snapped. "Thank you so much for reminding me."

"Come on." Doumeki said, reaching out and
clapping a hand to Watanuki's shoulder, giving him a gentle shove backwards.
"Get under the overhang or you're going to die of a cold."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever
heard." Watanuki grumbled, but allowed himself to be led underneath the
overhang that jutted out over the back entrance, out of the pouring rain.
Doumeki stood next to him, leaning back against the door and crossing his arms
over his chest.

For a few minutes the two males stood in silence,
Watanuki silently fuming and thinking that this jerk Doumeki was never
going to take him to Himawari, and just make him stand out here in the rain
like a fool for the rest of the night. That would be just like him. That cruel,
uncaring �

"Are you cold?"

"What?" Watanuki shifted his gaze back up
to Doumeki, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"I just asked if you were cold." The older
male responded with a shrug.

"Well so what if I was?" Watanuki quipped.
"What does it matter to you?"

"I was going to offer you my coat."

Watanuki's eyes widened in surprise, and he looked
away with a blush. "I'm fine."

"Whatever you say." Doumeki replied, and
the two lapsed into silence once more.

Unfortunately for Watanuki, Doumeki's comment had
only served to make him aware of just how cold he really was. He tried to keep
his limbs from shaking, and his teeth from chattering, but he couldn't help it.
Bringing his hands up to rub up and down his arms, Watanuki attempted to get a
little warmth and circulation back into them. It didn't do much good, and only
a few seconds later he simply resorted to wrapping his arms around his torso
and concentrating on not shaking so much. He failed miserably.

Thwump.

Watanuki looked up as a large coat was dropped over
his shoulders. Doumeki was still staring straight ahead, but he was now
coatless. Well darn, Watanuki hadn�t even noticed him taking it off. As much as
it pained the smaller brunet to admit it, the coat was nice and big and
warm. Damnit. Now he was indebted to that infernal Doumeki.

"Thanks." He mumbled, looking down at his
feet as he hugged the coat closer to himself. A low 'hn' was all he got in
reply, and Watanuki scowled down at the ground. What a weird guy!

After a few more minutes, Watanuki was able to stop
focusing on the cold, and able to once again start thinking about the reason he
was here in the first place. "Standing around here in the rain isn't
getting me any closer to meeting Himawari, you know."

"We can't go in now, the show's already
started."

Watanuki glared up at Doumeki. "Well I'm sure
you have a key or something, right?"

�Yeah, I have a key.�

Watanuki waited for a moment before realizing that
Doumeki wasn�t planning on elaborating on that statement. ��but?� he prompted.

�But I�m not going to just let you barge in
there in the middle of the show and make a scene.� Doumeki finished, causing
Watanuki to scowl.

�Well then what am I supposed to do?� He
asked. �Just stand out here in the rain until your predictions come true and I
die of a cold?� Doumeki actually had the nerve to snerk at this, and Watanuki�s
glare only intensified. �Oh, so you want me to die of a cold? That�s
just like you.�

�Just like me?� Doumeki questioned. �How would you
know, you�ve never even met me before.�

�Well I�ve seen you.� Watanuki informed him.
�And I could just tell.�

�You�re one weird kid.�

�I�m not a kid!� Watanuki snapped. �I bet I�m about
the same age you are, you big ugly jerk.� Doumeki didn�t have a reply to this,
but for some reason a self-satisfied smirk settled on his features and Watanuki
huffed in annoyance. �Fine. Be that way.� Watanuki thought. �Two can
play at that game.�

After that the two settled into an awkward silence,
broken only by the occasional sniffle of sneeze from the smaller, sufficiently
more soaked of the pair. Watanuki wasn�t sure why he was still standing there
with that jerk Doumeki, but chalked it up to his stubbornness to not simply
give up and go home. It proved to be a difficult task, however, as the
exhaustion of his day�s exertions began to weigh on him. That, coupled with how
infuriatingly warm and cozy Doumeki�s coat was, started to lure Watanuki into a
sleepy haze, and he found his head nodding, only to stubbornly jerk it up again
a moment afterward.

An indistinguishable amount of time later, Watanuki
found himself slumped against the side of something firm, but not altogether
hard and uncomfortable. Blearily blinking his eyes and realizing he must have
truly fallen asleep that time, the dark haired boy looked to his side, only to
find that he had been leaning right up against �

�DOUMEKI!�

The taller boy jerked a little in surprise at this,
looking to the side and down at Watanuki. �What?�

Watanuki suddenly recoiled as if he had been burnt.
�You� you� what the hell are you playing at?!�

�Playing at?� Doumeki asked, sounding puzzled.

�Yeah!� Watanuki shot back. �You� you why was I
leaning up against you?�

�You tipped over when you fell asleep standing up.�
Doumeki explained, quite reasonably (much to Watanuki�s annoyance.)

�I� well� why didn�t you push me off?!� Watanuki
accusatorily questioned.

�You�d rather I push you off and let you fall over
onto the wet ground than allow you to lean up against me?�

�Well� no. But ��

Just then a loud banging noise sounded from around
the front of the building, followed by people talking excitedly amongst
eachother. A moment later and Watanuki could see them walking down the
sidewalk, covered by raincoats and umbrellas as they headed home.

�The show�s over!� the smaller dark-haired male
bemourned. �And I missed it! And it�s all your fault!� Doumeki rolled his eyes
as Watanuki stood purposefully in front of him, hands on his hips and looking
very indignant and silly in the oversized trenchcoat that had been placed over
his shoulders. �Thanks to you I missed my once in a lifetime opportunity
of meeting Himawari and falling in love and living happily ever after! Why
would you do that to me, you great big ��

�Doumeki? Oh good, you�re here.�

Watanuki whipped his head around as the back door he
and Doumeki had previously been leaning against was pulled open, and a girl�s
head tentatively peeked through. Long, flowing tendrils of curled locks flowed
from either side of her head, tied up in pretty ribbons, and she wore a long,
heavy coat over an elegant dress. Watanuki�s jaw dropped.

�Hi�Hima�Himawari-chan��

The girl delicately turned her head to the side, only
just noticing Watanuki�s presence. �Oh. Hello there. Are you a friend of
Doumeki�s?�

Somewhere in the back of Watanuki�s brain he knew
that he should be coming up with an answer of some kind. That was the
appropriate response to someone asking a question, right? Right?! So why
couldn�t he do anything more intelligent that just continue to stand there and
gape like some idiot fish?

�Watanuki wanted to meet you.� Doumeki informed the
beautiful girl in the doorway. �But apparently he couldn�t get in to the show.�

�So he waited out here in the rain with you all this
time?� Himawari asked. �That�s so sweet! It�s very nice to meet you, Watanuki!�
Himawari giggled cheerily, extending her hand to him.

What now, what
now?
Watanuki�s brain was asking, working in overtime. She�s offering her hand� she wants me to shake it... WHAT DO I DO?!

Watanuki somehow managed to work up the nerve and
motor skills to reach out with his own hand, shakily placing it in
Himawari�s.� The girl gave another cute
little giggle as she shook it, and Watanuki repressed the urge to faint. A
slight whimper escaped his lips, however, and out of the corner of his eye he
saw that bastard Doumeki smirking at him.

�Well Watanuki,� Himawari said, and the dark haired
boy couldn�t help but inwardly swoon at how perfect his name sounded coming
from her lips. �It was very nice meeting you, but I have to be going. Was there
anything else you wanted?�

�I� I�� CURSE
YOU, LIPS! FORM WORDS!

�I think he wanted your autograph.� Doumeki supplied,
both helpfully and annoyingly smugly at the same time. Damn him for finding
amusement at the situation!

�Oh! Of course!� Himawari brightly responded,
reaching into her purse and pulling out a pen. �What did you want me to sign?�

Sign! Sign!
Give her something to sign!

Mutely holding out his arm, Watanuki got out a
garbled sort of reply, and luckily Himawari interpreted it enough to understand
that this was what he was presenting to be signed. �Hee hee, alright.� She
politely laughed, pushing his sleeve up and pulling the cap off the pen, signing
his arm with a flourish and dotting the i�s in her name with little hearts. Her
hand held Watanuki�s arm steady, and the dark haired boy was surprised he
didn�t pass out from the contact.

It was all over in a few moments, but Watanuki
continued to stay there, frozen in place, even as Himawari wished him a parting
farewell. �It was really nice meeting you, Watanuki! I�m glad you and Doumeki
are friends! Maybe I�ll see you again sometime!� What? No, wait! She was leaving!?
Watanuki felt his heart hallow out at the very thought. �Bye!�

And with that she was gone.

�AAAAAAAAAAARRRGGHHHH!� Watanuki screamed as he broke
out of his spell, falling to his knees. �I MET HIMAWARI-CHAN! THIS IS THE BEST
DAY OF MY LIFE! I�M NEVER WASHING MY ARM AGAIN!� Panting heavily from the
exertion, Watanuki glanced down at his arm, memorizing the graceful flow of ink
that now adorned it. As the initial shock of what had just transpired wore off,
Watanuki found himself replaying the events in his mind. The more he thought
about it, and the more he came out of his star-struck stupor, the more he
realized something�

�WHY DIDN�T I SAY ANYTHING?!� he shouted, threading
his fingers through his dripping locks of hair, fisting and pulling in
frustration. �I just� what the hell? I just stood there like an idiot! And�
and� THAT STUPID DOUMEKI JUST STOOD THERE AND LAUGHED AT ME! GRAAAH!�

Pounding a fist against the ground (the fist not
attached to the arm Himawari had signed), Watanuki growled at his social
ineptitude. Or rather, his star-stricken tendencies. Darnit, now Himawari
probably thought he was a complete idiotic star-struck loser. And that stupid Doumeki! How did that guy manage
to be so infuriating!?

A sleeve slid down his arm, covering his beloved�s
autograph, and he automatically moved to push it back up, but paused halfway
upon noticing something.

Damn it all to hell, if this whole situation couldn�t
have gotten any more awkward than it already was!

He still had Doumeki�s coat.

.x.X.x.

The next morning Watanuki woke up late, and with that
strange sense of �I know something is
different, but I just can�t figure out what�� After only a few more minutes
of sitting in bed, staring at the ceiling, it all came back to him. Trudging
back home in the rain, throwing off stupid Doumeki�s jacket the moment he got
in the door, tying a plastic bag over his arm before taking a shower so that
Himawari�s autograph didn�t get washed off� and finally collapsing in bed with
complete and utter exhaustion.

Sitting up, Watanuki pondered over how address the
matter at hand. Obviously he had to meet Himawari again while she was still in
town. Obviously. Not just because it was fate, but because he had to find some
way to get Doumeki�s freaking jacket back to him. Watanuki hated feeling indebted to people. But how to get ahold of that jerk
so that he could return it? Hmmm� Maybe going back to the building the fashion
show was held in would help; maybe someone there knew where Himawari was headed
next. Wherever she was, Doumeki was bound to be as well, Watanuki thought
grimly.

After a quick breakfast, Watanuki tugged on one of
his own coats, throwing Doumeki�s over his shoulder and heading out. It took a
while to get to the fashion show building, but as it finally came into view,
Watanuki quickened his pace, eager to find out if someone there could help him
out. To his surprise, when he came to the ticket/information window, the same
girl as was there the previous night was once again working.

�Um, hi�� Watanuki greeted awkwardly.

�Oh! Hello!� the girl brightly responded. �Watanuki,
right? Were you able to get into the show last night?�

Ah, so the girl recognized him from school as well.
�Uh, yeah, no, I wasn�t� But um, I was wondering if you had any information on
where Himawari is going to be next, for any sort of event or something?� The
girl (what was her name again? Something with an S? Oh well, it didn�t matter)
flipped through some papers before looking back up a moment later, shaking her
head sadly.

�I�m sorry, we don�t. Maybe you could contact her representatives,
or see if there�s some sort of list of scheduled events?�

�No, I� I�d know if there were any.� Watanuki
replied, not seeming to come off as a know-it-all, but realizing that it sort
of seemed that way anyways. �I just� oh well. Thanks anyways.�

�You�re welcome...� The girl replied as Watanuki
turned to walk away.

Well now
what? Watanuki wondered as he walked down the sidewalk, scuffing his feet in
irritation. How on earth was he supposed to find them now? They could be anywhere, it wasn�t as if the sky was
going to just open up and drop Himawari and Doumeki out of the sky so he could
have a second chance at confessing his love, and returning a stupid jacket.

�Hey.�

Startled, Watanuki turned to where the greeting had
come from, his eyes widening in disbelief before turning to a glare. Oh, so apparently the gods were willing to
come through with half of his
seemingly completely impossible suggestion. Great, thanks a lot higher powers.

�You.� Watanuki responded, pointing a finger at
Doumeki, who was standing in the alley again, and had a large box propped up on
his hip, a box that Watanuki was secretly sure he�d never even be able to lift.

�Me.�

�Don�t get all smart with me.� Watanuki warned him.
�I just came to return your jacket.�

�Oh?� Doumeki replied with a half smirk. �You didn�t
have to do that.�

�Yes, well I did anyways. I didn�t want to keep it,
it�s yours.� Watanuki snapped, holding the jacket out. �So take it back so I
can leave.� Doumeki seemed to think this over for a minute, before further
shifting the box so that he could reach a hand out to take the jacket.

�Thanks.�

�Whatever.� Watanuki replied, turning and
purposefully striding off in the opposite direction.

�Hey��

Watanuki sighed. What was it now? He just wanted to
leave and go home and sulk about how empty and useless his life was without
Himawari in it. �What?�

�I�m having lunch with Himawari in a bit, did you
want to come?�

Needless to say, Watanuki put up with flitting around
after Doumeki for a while longer, if only for the promise of seeing his beloved
again sometime in the near future. He helped cart some last-minute things from
the stage back to a van, and steadfastly refused to acknowledge that Doumeki
was much better at carrying stuff around than he was. Having to put up with
this was worth it, however, when after only a little while Doumeki declared
that they were done, and started heading off in a random direction, looking
back to see if Watanuki was going to follow him.

Trotting along at the elder male�s heels, Watanuki kept
glancing up to Doumeki to see if he was going to say anything. But it seemed as
though Doumeki was content with just staring straight ahead and leading
Watanuki off to who-knows-where, without a single decent conversation along the
way. Not that Watanuki wanted to talk
to the jerk or anything, but the guy could at least show some manners.

�Where are we going?� Watanuki asked.

�To meet Himawari.� The taller male supplied. �That�s
what you wanted, right?� There was an almost bitter tone to the words, and for
a split second Watanuki almost felt bad for tagging along and imposing. It only
lasted that millisecond though, for in the next moment he was back to thinking
about meeting the love of his life.

�Yes.� He replied. �It is. I was just wondering where
we were going specifically.�

�To The Piffle.�

Watanuki was momentarily taken aback. Funny name
aside, The Piffle was one of the most upscale hotels for miles around. It, of
course, made sense that that was where Himawari would be staying, but Watanuki
had never even considered himself worthy to so much as step in the doors
before, and certainly hadn�t ever expected to be brought there by Doumeki of all people.

The rest of their walk passed in silence, before they
finally came to the aforementioned hotel building. It was huge. Watanuki looked skyward, but found that he couldn�t see the
top, even if he squinted. Granted, he was right below the towering building,
and it was a rather overcast day, but still � the building was impressive
nonetheless. When they got to the door, Watanuki made as if to grab the handle
bar and pull it open for himself, but Doumeki was quick to intercept him,
pulling it open and gesturing for Watanuki to go ahead. Blushing and glowering
slightly at the girly treatment, Watanuki went on in and waited for Doumeki to
follow after him so that he could be led in the right direction.

Looking around, Watanuki was slightly intimidated by
the sheer lavishness and utmost quality of his surroundings. Shiny, polished
floors glinted up at him, reflected off of the glimmering golden chandeliers
that hung from the high ceilings. People in pressed uniforms scurried about,
carrying luggage for guests, answering phones and tending to schedules behind
desks, and occasionally pruning some of the flourishing ferns and blooming ivy
plants that were scattered about. He felt as if he had no right to be in such a
nice place. But as Doumeki quickly headed off towards the elevators, Watanuki
had no choice but to follow. Watching as the taller male hit the button for the
21st floor, it only took a minute for the light above the doors to turn on, a
little �ding� alerting them to the fact that the elevator was ready. As the
sliding doors opened, Doumeki stepped in first, Watanuki following right after
him. Well this was going to be awkward� riding up twenty one floors in an
elevator alone with Doumeki.

In the near silence (apart from, of course, the
mechanical whoosh of the elevator as it ascended) Watanuki contemplated the
situation. Doumeki only held his interest for so long, so he turned his gaze
instead to his surroundings. Even the inside of the elevator was beyond
compare, with mirror walls and polished metal. The buttons glowed brightly, and
a little counter over the door informed them to their progress, floor-wise.
Suddenly Watanuki�s stomach gave an uncomfortable drop, and it had nothing to
do with the fat that they were several stories up. He felt so wretchedly out of
place. What was Himawari going to think when she saw him here, compared to such
extraordinary surroundings? Would she ever see him as anything more than some
stupid, lovesick fan? Because he knew it was more than that, he knew that his
love for Himawari was real, but� what if she didn�t see it back? But then
again, she had to, didn�t she?

Because it was fate� right?

Watanuki�s attention turned back to Doumeki once
again, to get himself off that rather depressing train of thought. What was so
great about that guy anyways? Sure, he was tall, and he had nice hair, and
startlingly intense gold eyes, and a nice build, and he was the strong, silent
type, and he had never really done anything too
bad in Watanuki�s presence� but the guy was still a jerk! Why did Himawari
bother hanging around him enough to choose him for her escort or bodyguard or
whatever he was? Doumeki abruptly turned to look back at Watanuki. Their eyes
met for a moment, and Watanuki was about to give an indignant huff of
frustration and look away when �

With an annoyingly startling �ding�, the elevator
doors opened once again, leading out into a wide, but very short hallway devoid
of any doors save for one at the very end. It was almost like an entry way of
sorts, not a hallway to a hotel room.

�Um, where are we?� Watanuki questioned in confusion,
looking around as he stepped out of the elevator.

�The twenty first floor.� Doumeki informed him,
striding across the short expanse of the� wherever they were. Sighing at
Doumeki�s completely unhelpful response, Watanuki trailed after him, watching
as the other dark haired boy unceremoniously shoved a key into the one door,
unlocking it and pulling it open.

Suddenly Watanuki understood why there was only one
door. The room they had previously been in had
been an entryway, and it was in fact the entryway to the entire floor. Yes, it seemed as though the suite that Himawari was
staying in took up an entire floor. Watanuki should have figured. She deserved
only the best after all!

�Doumeki, is that you?� a clear, feminine, voice rang
out from one of the adjoining rooms. A moment later and Himawari was coming
around the corner, dressed in a simple, light skirt/blouse outfit and looking
radiant. �Oh! It is you! And you brought your friend!�

Now if Watanuki could pick one single thing to
dislike about Himawari, it would be the fact that she kept referring to he and
Doumeki as friends. Which of course would never happen, ever, and he really
didn�t even know where she had gotten that idea in the first place. But really,
it was only a mild irritation, and Watanuki would never dream of correcting
her, or counting it against her.

�How are you today� Wata� Wa� um, remind me of your
name?� Himawari politely inquired.

�Wa� Watanuki.� The dark haired boy choked out,
determined to be more coherent that the previous night. �It� uh� I� nice to,
er, see you. Again.�

Himawari giggled. �Nice to see you too. You�re just
in time for lunch, although I�m afraid we�re having a little trouble getting
room service. It seems as though everyone is very busy right now, and I told
them it could wait.�

�Wait�?� Watanuki started, everything suddenly
becoming a hundred, no a thousand times clearer. �You� you need help
getting lunch?�

�Oh no!� Himawari replied with the wave of the hand.
�I just didn�t want to trouble them right now, so it will just take a little
while for us to be able to tell them what to bring us, and for them to be able
to do so.�

His Himawari
was always so considerate, not wanting to bother anyone! �I� I can cook�� Watanuki
said, eyes wide and hopeful. �If you have ingredients, I could make us lunch��

�Oh could you?�
Himawari replied, sounding delighted. �That would be wonderful, I�m sure you�re
an excellent cook!� Watanuki just nodded dumbly as Himawari frolicked off in
the direction of the mini-kitchen, Doumeki following after her. Watanuki
somehow managed to get his dumbstruck body working enough to follow after them.

It didn�t take long for Watanuki to find enough
ingredients to make a simple but tasty lunch. Himawari fussed over the
situation for a bit before leaving him to it, but Doumeki stayed behind.

�What are you doing?� Watanuki grumbled, digging out
a mixing bowl from a cabinet. �Aren�t you going to follow after Himawari?�
Doumeki shrugged.

�I thought I�d stay and watch you make the food.�

�Whatever, just don�t get in my way.� Watanuki
responded. What a freak Doumeki was, to want to stay in here and watch him make
food instead of spending time with Himawari. Oh well, that was his loss.

Watanuki lost himself to his cooking and preparing,
so much so that when it was finally all done and ready to be brought out to the
table, he got a most shocking surprise at seeing Doumeki still sitting on the
counter right behind him, still observing him. Okaaaaay� that was a little
weird.

�Stop staring.� Watanuki snapped. �And help me set
the table for Himawari.�

Doumeki, surprisingly enough, complied with this
demand, and brought out plates and utensils to arrange out on the table.
Himawari had been busy reading some sort of magazine on the couch, but came
bounding over when she saw that lunch was ready.

�Oh, it looks absolutely wonderful!� Himawari
praised, and Watanuki was sure his face turned half a dozen shades of red.

Just as the three were setting down and preparing to
dig into their meals, a loud and jostling ringing came from the corner of the
living room area.

�I�ve got it.� Doumeki declared, pushing his seat out
and heading leisurely over to the phone. Picking it up with a gruff hello of
some sort, Doumeki was silent for a minute, listening to whoever was on the
other end, before heading back over to the table and handing the phone to
Himawari before sitting back down next to Watanuki. �It�s for you.�

Of course it�s
for her.
Watanuki thought. Who would call for
Doumeki when they could call for her?

Another minute of silence passed, broken occasionally
by the muffled conversation on the other end of the phone, and Himawari�s
occasional words or sounds of affirmation and approval. Finally, after a polite
�thank you, goodbye�, Himawari was hanging up the phone, looking up to Watanuki
and Doumeki with an apologetic expression.

�I�m so sorry, that was an important call, and I have
to go right away�� Doumeki stood up as if to join her, but she hurriedly waved
him off. �No, no, it�s not a big deal, but I do need to go right away. You stay
here and spend time with your friend. I�m sorry I�m not going to be able to
have lunch with you both, and after Watanuki made us such a wonderful meal�
you�ll save some for me, won�t you Doumeki?�

A nod. �Sure.�

�Thank you!� Himawari said as she stood and rushed
over to a side table to gather up her purse and a few spare things. �It was
nice meeting you again, Watanuki, and thank you so much for making us this
wonderful meal!�

�Y�yeah.� Watanuki responded in disbelief over how
things were playing out. �Of� of course.�

�Alright, well I�ll see you two later! Have fun
hanging out!�

And with that she was gone. Again.

Watanuki slammed his head down on the table.
Repeatedly. �Nooooooo! No, no, no, no, nooooooo!� he wailed. �What did I do to
deserve this?! We�re supposed to end up together! IT�S SUPPOSED TO BE
FAAAAATE!�

�Are you sure?� Doumeki casually asked as he calmly
went about packing Himawari�s meal portions into a package that could be put
away for later use. �Because it seems like it just keeps not working out, to
me.�

�I� you� SHUT UP, IT�S FATE!� Watanuki retorted with
a pout. �It�s just� hitting a few unexpected bumps along the way, okay?�
Doumeki shrugged and headed back into the kitchen to put Himawari�s food away.

But as much as Watanuki kept trying to shut them out,
Doumeki�s words sunk in and fermented uncomfortably in Watanuki�s mind. What if
he had been wrong all along, what if it wasn�t
fate for him and Himawari to end up together? All these years he had been so
sure, but now� the feeling he got from actually having been around Himawari� it
was weird. It was as if� it was almost as if it was no different than all those
times he looked at her pictures in the magazines. It was as if� there she was,
right in front of him, but at the same time there was no connection. She said hello, and was always polite and charming and
beautiful, but it just didn�t seem personal.
She hadn�t even remembered his name from the night before. Maybe� maybe it was
possible that she didn�t love and want and need him back the way he wanted and
loved and needed her� and maybe� maybe she never would? Never could?
Suddenly reality hit like a ton of bricks, and Watanuki felt faint, nearly
swooning out of his chair.

�Oi, what would you like to drink with your�
Watanuki?�

A glazed look had come over Watanuki�s expression,
and he looked as though even though he was physically there, his mind was
somewhere else entirely.

��Watanuki?�

��what if it isn�t fate?��

A confused expression muddled Doumeki�s features.
��what are you talking about?�

�What if it isn�t fate?� Watanuki repeated, during to
gaze at Doumeki with an empty expression. �What if Himawari doesn�t love me
back?�

�Um��

�WHAT IF SHE DOESN�T LOVE ME BACK?!� Watanuki
desperately cried, reaching out to clutch onto Doumeki�s shirtfront. �I� I�ve
spent so many years believing it was fate to be with Himawari, but what if she
doesn�t love me back?�

Doumeki gave him a blank look, raising an eyebrow.

�I� I mean� every time I see her I choke, and it
seems like she doesn�t even seem like she really cares and� and� YOU FREAKING
JERK, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!?�

Now Doumeki just looked a little affronted. �How is
this my fault?�

�It just is!� Watanuki insisted. �I� you�re always
around her, you should know how I can get her to love me! WHY WON�T YOU TELL
ME!?�

��I have no idea what you�re talking about.�

�YOU LIKE HER, DON�T YOU!?� Watanuki accused, jabbing
a finger at the elder male. �YOU�RE TRYING TO STEAL HER AWAY! WELL I�M ON TO
YOU, DOUMEKI! AND YOU�RE GOING DOWN!�

With a feral snarl, Watanuki launched himself at
Doumeki, knocking his chair over in the process, and sending both of them
crashing to the dining room floor with the unexpectedness of the impact. With
an indignant exclamation of surprise, Doumeki hit the floor, Watanuki landing
right on top of him with every intent of laying into him. Unfortunately for
Watanuki, it was only a second later that the larger boy recovered from the
initial shock and surged forwards and upwards to flip the situation around.

Literally.

Watanuki was a little puzzled when he suddenly found
himself looking up at Himawari�s very nice ceiling, his arms restrained above
his head. A second later, however, Doumeki�s disgruntled face swerved into view
right above him.

�Oi, what�s wrong with you?�

Growling as the situation at hand came back to him,
Watanuki struggled against his restraints (which turned out to be Doumeki�s
hand gripping his wrists and holding them down above his head) in an effort to
get back at his foe. �Let go of me, you bastard! I�m trying to fight for
Himawari�s love here!�

Doumeki rolled his eyes. �Well you�re losing. And
besides, I�m not in love with Himawari, so there�s no point.�

�You�what?� Watanuki questioned, growing confused.
How could anyone not love Himawari?

�I�m not in love with her.� Doumeki repeated,
frowning. �I just work for her. She�s nice, I suppose you could even call us
friends, but I don�t love her.�

�Oh, well� oh.� Watanuki replied, furrowing his brows
as it sank in. Doumeki�s current status � jerk, but not a threat.

�Is it safe to let you up?�

Watanuki considered the situation. Yes, he supposed
if Doumeki let him up he wouldn�t lash out anymore. And besides, Doumeki�s
hipbones and belt were really digging in to him, and the guy was certainly a
lot bigger and therefore heavier than him. Oof.

�Yeah, I won�t do anything.� He sighed, letting his
head fall to the side.

Doumeki hesitantly got off of him, but Watanuki
didn�t even immediately get off the floor, let alone strike out. He was too
busy realizing that all of his hopes and dreams were crashing all around him to
care about getting off the floor. After another minute though, Doumeki was
shaking his shoulder in a rather irritating manner, and the smaller male had no
choice but to abandon his thoughts for the moment.

�What?� he snapped irritably.

�Are you alright?�

�Yeah.� Watanuki moodily replied, pushing himself up
into a sitting position. �I�m just peachy.�

��okay then.�

��

��

�OF COURSE I�M NOT PEACHY!� Watanuki exploded,
jumping to his feet and flailing his arms around wildly. �I�M TERRIBLE! I�VE
JUST REALIZED THE GIRL I�VE LOVED FOR MY WHOLE LIFE IS NEVER GOING TO LOVE ME
BACK!�

Silence reined for minute, Watanuki giving Doumeki a
heartfelt glare, and Doumeki returning it with an unreadably blank expression.
Watanuki was so close to just up and leaving, when Doumeki suddenly broke in
with a most unlikely question.

�How do you know you love her?�

�I�� Watanuki automatically opened his mouth and
started to respond when the gravity of the question sunk in. Snapping his mouth
closed, Watanuki thought it over, possibly for the first time ever. Every other
time someone had ever voiced even the slightest amount of skepticism he had
been quick to retort with an automatic, snappish reply dismissing any such
doubts about his feelings. But now� He was devastated, it was true, but at the
same time� It seemed almost expected, somehow. The way things had turned out.
Himawari was just so� untouchable. She was beautiful and charming, and he loved
everything about her but� but� he didn�t really know her. Sure, he knew all the facts and figures, but had that prepared
him for actually meeting her face to face? Seeing her in real life was almost�
almost surreal, and if Watanuki was honest with himself, he felt almost
disconnected from both of the times he had been around her. As if she was a
beautiful and precious porcelain doll behind glass � meant to be appreciated,
but not actively involved with. So many times he had pictured confessing his
love, and having her swoon and instantly love him back at the news, but now,
thinking about it from his current standpoint� it really did seem almost like a
silly little fantasy.

�Oh my God�� Watanuki began in a hallow voice. �It�s�
after all this time� it never really was fate at all.� Doumeki got an
indiscernible expression on his face upon hearing those words spoken from
Watanuki�s lips. Almost a mix between a very obvious �well DUH!� and wanting to
step forward and consolingly pat the smaller dark haired boy on the back. He
did neither, however, and continued to simply stand there, observing Watanuki
coming to terms with the situation.

�I� I� what do I do?� Watanuki hopelessly inquired,
not really talking to anyone in particular, more just throwing the question out
there for the universe to swallow up. Wobbling on his legs, Watanuki�s lower
lip wobbled a little, as he tried to reign in his emotions. �I� I� my whole
life� I thought that��

Doumeki moved forward to catch Watanuki as the
smaller boy wobbled unsteadily once again, threatening to fall over on his
face. Watanuki allowed himself to be caught without a fuss, and unfeelingly let
Doumeki lead him out of the room. The next thing he knew, he was being lowered
to sit down on a soft, comfortable surface, and he blinked confusedly, looking
around to find himself in a foreign room, sitting down on a bed.

�Where am I now?� Watanuki asked, brows furrowing as
stirrings of irritation began to rise.

�I took you to my room.� Doumeki informed him.

�I� WHAT?� Watanuki shouted, rising to unsteady legs
to point accusingly at Doumeki, a flush rising to his cheeks. �YOU PERVERT, WHY
DID YOU DO THAT?�

�You looked like you were going to pass out.� The
elder male replied. �I figured it would be better for you to fall over here
than in the kitchen where you could crack our head open on a cabinet or table
or whatever.�

�Well� well� Fine!� Watanuki snapped back, unable to
come up with anything better, and certainly unwilling to give in and thank
Doumeki. That jerk.

Said jerk just rolled his eyes. �You�re welcome.�

�I didn�t say thank you.� Watanuki grumbled. Sighing,
Doumeki strode out of the room, leaving Watanuki alone with his thoughts.

Heaving a sigh, Watanuki flopped back on the
mattress, legs hanging off the side and dangling uselessly. Swinging them idly,
Watanuki brought his arm up, flinging it over his face with a groan, covering
his eyes. Urgh, what to do, what to do? Apparently his lifelong dreams of
making Himawari the love of his life weren�t going to happen, and that was what
he had been living his life for the last however many years. He had lost count.
But it didn�t really matter anymore, did it? Himawari� she didn�t love him
back.

Even in his mind the words didn�t hurt as much as he
would have once thought they would, and that made him frustrated. Growling low
in the back of his throat, Watanuki rolled over, burying his face in the
mattress, which irritatingly enough smelled like that jerk Doumeki, all around
him, enveloping him. And even more irritatingly, in his last thoughts before
falling off into an exhausted sleep�

He
grudgingly admitted that he liked it.

.o.O.o.

Hope everyone liked the first
chapter! I�ll get part two of two posted as soon as I can!
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If You Only Knew