Hot Springs, Hot Times

A/N: It seems strange that there's only one other Haruhi Suzumiya story here at this time. Hopefully, that will change.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: A Bath for All
Part I: Enter the Hot Springs

It was the typical day at the school. At the end of it, Kyon, Itsuki, Yuki, Mikuru and Haruhi met in the brigade's room.

"Well, the gang's all here now! We can really get to work! I know - let's check the web site." Haruhi said. After turning on the PC and logging on, Haruhi went to their E-mail and found only one there. It was a spam for a hot springs resort not too far away.

"A hot springs! That's what we need to get things going again." Haruhi said. "This one looks good." Haruhi began typing frantically on the keyboard and the others got nervous.

I got a very bad feeling about this one, Kyon thought. His mind turned to visions of his Mikuru being forced to expose herself for the others, or worse.

"Are you sure about this one, Haruhi-chan?" Itsuki asked. "I don't think that some of us are comfortable in swimwear."

"Oh, don't be silly! It'll be fun!" Haruhi replied. She then finished typing on the keyboard.

"There, all done. We got reservations for five this Sunday. We'll have to be here bright and early Sunday morning!" Haruhi said cheerfully.

"Uh... Okay... I just hope we don't end up in therapy over this." Kyon said. To him, this was like watching two bullet trains going towards each other at full speed. He knew the results would be disastrous, but he was unable to stop them.

"Oh, don't be silly!" Haruhi said.


That Sunday, the five of them met at a train station. They had packed their bags for a day of fun. Once at the hot springs, they found that the place was closed.

I guess it's a good thing to relax every now and then. However, I can't help but feel that she's brought us here for a reason, Kyon thought. The owner came out and looked very despondent.

"We've had to close the place. A poltergeist has taken up residence here, and nobody can use the hot springs without getting seriously hurt." The owner said.

"Nonsense! There are no such things as ghosts." Haruhi said.

"There are here. My daughter is lying in a hospital because of it." The owner said.

"Sounds like a mystery for the SOS brigade! We'll get to the bottom of this and rid your place of this so-called ghost. You got to let us use it in return." Haruhi said.

"You have a deal. I don't think you kids will get too far though." The owner said.


Once inside, The SOS brigade members looked around the place. It was still and quiet.

"See? No ghosts here. I'm getting changed and soaking in the hot springs." Haruhi said. She then went into the room marked women.

"I don't know about this... Itsuki, do you sense anything unusual?" Kyon asked.

"Not really. It could have been a temporary thing." Itsuki said.

"Leave now! Get out!" A very sinister-sounding voice said. Mikuru got frightened and grabbed Kyon.

"No!!" Mikuru squealed. Kyon put his arms around Mikuru.

"Don't worry; everything will be all right..." Kyon reassured her.

"Play lovebirds later." Yuki said flatly. Mikuru and Kyon parted.

"All right, so where did that voice come from?" Kyon asked.

"The intercom." Yuki said.

"Then our so-called ghost should have just been at the microphone." Kyon said.

"Let's go." Itsuki added.


When they got to the spot, they found nobody there, but did find a cigarette butt in an ashtray. It was still burning a bit. They naturally concluded their ghost was alive and out for something sinister.

"We should split up and search the place. Mikuru-chan, come with me. Itsuki, you and Yuki try searching outside." Kyon said.

Unbeknownst to anyone, this was no ordinary troublemaker. Hikobe Ran'you was wanted in sixteen prefectures of Japan for several crimes. Robbery, extortion, destruction of property and attempted murder were among the charges. Hikobe was very anti-social and even more misogynistic. He saw no reason to treat women as equals.

Who does this bimbo think she is, bringing a bunch of kids to try to stop me! She even has the gall to lounge around while the others do all the work! I'll show her, he thought. He saw Haruhi on the security system wearing a towel only. He decided that she must be captured first. How dare she be so hubristic about him! He had worked his way into the Japanese underworld and was feared there. Her first. Then he'd deal with the other kids.

Meanwhile, Mikuru and Kyon were walking into the men's spring. There were signs that it had been used recently, in the form of cigarette butts. Mikuru was scared witless and holding Kyon tightly.

Okay, we know our opponent is male and smokes, but why is he doing this? Kyon thought. There must be a reason.


Meanwhile, Haruhi was in the woman's springs, entering the spa and starting to relax.

You know what would make this perfect? A really cute guy to share it with. Haruhi thought. Well, she got a guy, but he was neither cute nor desirable. Hikobe struck her hard in the back of her head with a baseball bat. Haruhi went down like lead into the water.

Meanwhile, Itsuki and Yuki were in the vending area checking things out. They found more cigarette butts on the floor.

"Our adversary doesn't seem to care about his health." Itsuki noted. "We might be able to exploit that when it comes time."

"Hikobe Ran'you." Yuki said.

"You think it's that criminal that escaped from a maximum security prison? The chances of it being him are very slim though." Itsuki said. "He supposedly hates women and anything effeminate."

"Check women's dressing area." Yuki said.

"Haruhi may still be in there." Itsuki noted.

"I'll check it alone." Yuki said.

Haruhi woke up about five minutes later with a pounding headache and the inability to move. She was tied to a chair and unable to get out of it. She opened her eyes and saw that Hikobe had tied her to the chair naked.

"Stupid bitch. Did you really think you could just relax? You women are all so dumb." Hikobe said.

"I'm not as dumb as you think I am." Haruhi said.

"Oh really? So why are you the one tied up and naked, hmm?" Hikobe asked. "That's all you girls are good for anyway."

"Because some sexist pig decided to hit me on the head." Haruhi said with defiance.

"I am a truth teller, woman. Who came up with some of the greatest inventions of all time? Men." Hikobe said. Haruhi knew better than to argue with a brick wall. She didn't want to point out that the current holder of the world record for highest intelligence was a woman at the time.

Elsewhere, Mikuru and Kyon were in the area behind the counter. Mikuru had set off a trap that Hikobe had set. She ended up getting hoisted upside-down into the air, giving Kyon a good look of her panties.

"Ah!" Mikuru gasped as she went into the air. Kyon could only watch in horror as she went upwards.

"Mikuru-chan!" Kyon gasped. He then saw she was being held up by her ankles and her skirt was around her chest.

"No! Don't look!" Mikuru said. Kyon tuned his eyes away, and saw the opposite end of the rope holding her up.

"I'll get you down." Kyon said. He had a bit of difficulty untying the rope, but once he did, he gently let Mikuru down. Once he did, he untied Mikuru's feet and then she immediately embraced him.

"Oh god... That was so terrifying..." Mikuru said, sacred witless. Kyon held her hands, and couldn't help but get a warm feeling inside. He felt Mikuru's skin; it was soft as satin and smooth as silk. His feelings, however, would have to wait. Mikuru needed a strong shoulder to cry on, as she was scared witless. She cried on his shoulder as she held him.

"Don't worry, Mikuru-chan... Everything will be all right..." Kyon said reassuringly. Mikuru started to feel better in his arms. She found herself thinking he felt strong and secure, and being in his arms, she was safe. After about a minute of this, Yuki and Itsuki came in.

"Whoa... What happened?" Itsuki asked.

"Mikuru-chan set off a trap and got caught in it. I just saved her." Kyon said as Mikuru parted with him. Only with great reluctance did he let her go.

"Well, we haven't found anything. How about you?" Itsuki asked.

"Nothing here other than the trap." Kyon said.

"The only place we haven't checked is the monitoring area." Yuki said. Itsuki and Kyon blushed.

"We can't go in there - we might see Haruhi naked, and she would never forgive us." Kyon said.

"Well, you can't expect Yuki-chan to go in there alone." Mikuru said. After a bit of debate, the guys agreed to go into the place.


Well, Hikobe was waiting for them. He had locked the door and was waiting to ambush everyone. When the four of them got there, the trap was sprung. Mikuru and Kyon were caught in it and ad a cage fall over them while Yuki and Itsuki avoided it. However, Hikobe came in sporting a gun.

"Just stay where you are. I won't hesitate to shoot." Hikobe said. Yuki and Itsuki raised their hands and got nervous.

"Why?" Yuki asked.

"Why, you wonder? Keep wondering." Hikobe said. However, Mikuru was able to hit his gun with an eye blast, and then Itsuki hit Hikobe with a fist. Hikobe grabbed his head and fell like lead.

"Well, another case solved. Now can you please help us out of this thing?" Kyon asked. It took the four of them to lift the cage up, but they did so, and freed everyone. When they went into the next room, they saw Haruhi sitting in the chair naked. The guys blushed and quickly turned away.

"Whoa! Sorry!" Kyon said as he left. This left Mikuru and Yuki to free Suzumiya. They did so, and Haruhi got into a robe. Yuki also managed to sneak away while the others talked.

"This guy is a fucking pervert. He ought to be ashamed of himself." Haruhi said.

"Are you okay, Haruhi-chan?" Mikuru nervously asked.

"I'll be fine." Haruhi replied. "He didn't go very far."

"Is it okay to enter?" A male voice said in the distance.

"Sure, come on in." Haruhi said. Kyon and Itsuki came in, and then relaxed.

"The police are on their way. We managed to subdue Hikobe there." Itsuki said.

"Great. Now we can get on with the business of partying!" Haruhi said. "We're all going to soak in the couples' spa."

Everyone else turned red as a beet...

-To Be Continued-