Shinji & Asuka - Mind-Meld

Hello. This fic is based off an idea by Jintsu, an author on Fan-Fiction.net. All credit for the mind-merge idea comes from him. However, the lemony action is all mine.

DISCLAIMER: Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to Gainax, not me. If I owned it, Shinji & Asuka would’ve kissed in the final scene of the movie, and Asuka would’ve have directly met her mother’s soul in the Eva, instead of just faintly sensing it.

NOTE: The two names given to the Evas are based on my coming-soon idea for a Halo/Eva crossover on FF.net. Zenathros is pronounced “zeh-NA-thros”, and Kazumee (A Sangheili/Elite name) is “KA-zoo-me”. You’ll understand when I eventually get to the story in a couple of weeks.
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NERV headquarters was in full gear. In all, dozens of scientists, headed by Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, were gathered in the chamber overseeing the test-cockpits. Today, they were gathered to oversee a grand – and risky – new experiment. As they rushed hither and thither (tee-hee… funny words…), the two subjects of the experiment sat patiently in their simulation-entry-plugs, though one was obviously running a little thin on patience right now.

“Hurry the hell up, Ritsuko!” a certain fiery red-head shouted, “my ass is going numb from sitting in here!”

“Calm down, Asuka” replied the other pilot/guinea pig, Shinji, though he was getting a little annoyed, as well; they’d been in there for 20 minutes waiting for the start of the experiment.

After the 8th Angel, Sandalphon, almost trapped Asuka in a fiery deathtrap, only to be saved at the last second by Shinji impulsively leaping into the lava to save her, Ritsuko & Fuyutsuki had noticed a slight bond forming between the two children. Though neither would admit it.

The two came up with a bright idea: as a variation of the pilot-Eva synchronization tests, why not try a pilot-to-pilot synch-test? If the two could synchronize some of their conscious thoughts – read the other’s actions before they made them – they could become drastically more efficient in combat. It might also help them argue a little less (though knowing Asuka, this was a big “maybe”).

Several personnel waited in the control chamber, preparing for the test. Misato Katsuragi sat with an anxious look to her; these two kids had grown on her, and she couldn’t help but be worried about them. Kaji Ryoji was next to her, leaning against the wall with a toothpick hanging out his math.

Fuyutsuki stood waiting as well; while he was officially there to report the findings to Commander Gendo Ikari, he was also there for another reason: he, too, had grown to like the three Eva pilots, and didn’t want to be elsewhere in case something endangered the two. Lastly, Rei stood, watching anxiously. While she didn’t outwardly show, she had grown to care for the two other pilots, seeing them as siblings of sorts.

Unknown to everyone else, two bodies and four souls also “watched”, hacking in to monitor the various internal happenings inside the two test-plugs. Evangelion Unit-01 sat in rapt attention, the two souls inside it closely monitoring Shinji’s body and mind. The beast-soul inside the Eva, who knew himself as “Zenathros”, had grown attached to the child, whom he saw as a surrogate offspring who he was entitled to protect. He could also sense the concern of the soul of the boy’s mother inside his body’s core, hoping her son would be alright. He glanced to the left and saw that Unit-02, or “Kazumee”, was feeling similarly protective of his young, red-headed charge. Zenathros had also learned of the human soul inside the crimson bio-mech, and was sure that she worried deeply for her daughter.

“Alright,” said Ritsuko suddenly, “is everyone ready?” Maya Ibuki, Shigeru Aoba, and Makoto Hyuga all replied “yes, ma’am”. “Good. Shinji, Asuka, you ready?” “Finally,” Asuka replied with an exasperated sigh, “yes, we’re ready. Right, baka-Shinji?” “H-Hai” Shinji replied, feeling a bit nervous.

“Okay” Dr. Akagi said with a sight, “on the count of three. One…” Misato reached into her shirt and absent-mindedly grabbed at her cross. “Two…” The Evas tensed, Kazumee reciting an old Latin prayer in his head. As Shinji & Asuka tried to prepare themselves, they could’ve sworn hearing a faint voice in the back of their heads: ‘good luck’. “…three”.

At the press of a button, the experiment began. The pilots’ A10 nerve-clips began to glow, and they both felt a slight tingle in their heads for a second. “So,” Shinji asked over the intercom, “do you think it’s working?” Immediately, Asuka replied “try thinking something”. Shinji thought of the tune of an old sci-fi shooter from the 2000’s, and Asuka said “Yep, I hear it. Wait… you know about that old game?”

At this, Shinji listened in to Asuka’s thoughts, and heard a rather amusing little song playing: ‘Hitler, he only has one ball. Goering… has two, but very small. Himmler… has somethin’ sim’lar, but poor Goebbels has no balls at all’. (Author’s notes: this is an actual song, sung by American soldiers in Germany during WWII.)

At this, everyone in the control room burst out laughing; apparently, the pilots’ thoughts had been broadcasted over the speakers. Even the Evas were chuckling lightly, though thankfully no one heard them, as that would have led to a whole unsightly mess of tests and whatnot. Asuka sat proudly, a smile on her face, knowing that she had gotten a laugh out of all of them, even the normally-stoic Ritsuko and Fuyutsuki. Even Rei was chuckling.

“Okay,” Ritsuko stammered out between giggles, “I think that’s enough for now; the experiment is obviously a success”. After about a minute, everyone had calmed down, though the occasional giggle could be heard. “Alright, let’s get you two out-“. Ritsuko was suddenly interrupted by a warning signal beeping from the console… then two… then four.

“Ritsuko?” Asuka questioned with a worried tone, hearing the warning signals over the intercom, “what’s-“. Before she could say any more, she felt a searing pain in her head, as her nerve-clips began to glow intensely. Inside the other test-plug, the same thing was happening to Shinji.

In the control room, everyone was suddenly panicking. Technicians ran everywhere, and the three primary controllers were spouting off technical jargon as their fingers flew over their keyboards at an almost machine-gun pace. Ritsuko has switched into full Command Mode, giving orders and requesting status reports, though no one really knew exactly what was happening. Misato, meanwhile, had switched into Panic Mode, and Kaji was holding her back from clawing at the terminals to save ‘her’ kids, knowing that it would only make things worse.

Inside the pilots’ minds, every memory of their lives was being dredged up and replayed, the two teens helpless in the face of their surging minds. Shinji’s psyche reeled as he experienced every single event in his life, and the feelings that came with them, in excruciating detail.

His mother holding him as an infant.
Being brought to explore GEHIRN headquarters at the age of four.
Watching as his mother climbed into the entry-plug.
The shouts and warning klaxons filling his ears.
The realization that his mommy wasn’t coming back.
Himself, standing alone, sobbing for his father to come back, as the man coldly ignored him and walked away.
Years of isolation, pain, and loneliness. Being belittled or ignored by the few people in his age group, as he sunk deeper and deeper into depression.
Being beaten by the teacher his father had given him to. Being told he was nothing.
Meeting Asuka. Being tormented almost endlessly by her, and wondering what he had ever done to deserve this.

Inside the other test-plug, Asuka was going through the same thing. Years of emotional defenses crumbled in a split-second, and she was exposed to the full brunt of her tragic memories.

Playing with her mother and father as a toddler, carefree and happy.
The worry she felt as a four-year-old, rushing to the hospital… and the horror and heartbreak she suffered when she got there.
Months of dealing with her soulless shell of a mother’s insanity. Trying, begging, pleading for her mama to love her again, instead of that evil doll.
That day when she ran home, ecstatic that she had been chosen, that she was finally important. Opening the door… and screaming her head off at the sight that awaited her.
Years of building walls around her heart. Years of trying to make a name for herself, so that people would notice her. Years of deeply hidden self-hatred and depression.
Meeting Shinji. Feeling a mysterious sense of connection with him. Pushing him away to protect her heart. The nights spent crying herself to sleep, angry at herself but unwilling to change.

Meanwhile, the control room had deteriorated into a writhing mess of panicky people. Zenathros & Kazumee tuned out the screaming humans and focused all their attention on trying to decipher the problem affecting their surrogate offspring. Inside, they could hear the pilots’ spirits screaming in emotional pain, and the sound was driving their mothers’ souls into a frenzy. It was all they could do to keep the spirit-passengers under control as they calmly but quickly sifted through the base’s systems, trying to find the problem.

As the panic went on, Shinji & Asuka’s minds had finished replaying their own pasts… and were now experiencing each other’s. Shinji saw, though Asuka’s eyes, and he felt, through her emotions, as her world crumbled, her psyche becoming submerged in self-loathing. Asuka saw Shinji in the same way, feeling what he felt – the gripping depression, the aching loneliness, the feeling of not belonging, not deserving to exist.

Have you ever seen Naruto? Do you remember Itachi’s signature mental attack, the Tsukuyomi? How anyone hit by it experiences up to 72 hours of horror while only a second passes in the outside world? Basically, this happens here; in the 35 seconds of insanity in the control chamber, Asuka & Shinji suffer through years of pain, their own and each other’s.

By this point, everyone is deteriorating. Sweat runs down brows, eyes sit wide open as personnel try in vain to halt the out-of-control process. The pilots’ heart-rate and brain-wave monitors are all over the board. Rei is crying, leaning against the glass and muttering the names of her surrogate brother and sister. Fuyutsuki stands, his fists clenched so tightly that his fingernails are starting to cut into the flesh of his palms. Misato is sobbing openly into Kaji’s chest, as the man holds her to him, praying that something can be done.

Suddenly, a smooth, deep voice rings out “ENOUGH!” Everyone looks up and around, trying to pinpoint the source of the mysterious voice. “Who… who is there?” Fuyutsuki questions. “I…” the voice continued, coming from the speakers in the room, “am Zenathros, the resident beast-spirit of Evangelion Unit 01”. Everyone stood shocked and slack-jawed. “And I,” said another deep voice, this one more gravelly than the first (have you ever heard an Elite talk?), “am Endro Kazumee, resident beast-spirit of Unit 02”.

“Right now, we are the only ones who can save the children” Zenathros continued. “How?” Ritsuko questioned, still in disbelief in what she was hearing. “The creatures you know as ‘Evangelions’ contain two souls each: the beast-spirits – ourselves – and the human-spirits, both of whom are former humans who were absorbed into our cores. The human-spirits dwelling in us are the only ones with the knowledge and will to break through the walls and save the children”.

“And… why is that?” Fuyutsuki asked. “Because,” Kazumee replied, “the resident human souls in our bodies are both gifted scientists who helped in the development of the Evas. And… they are the souls of the mothers of the children”. At this, everyone stood in absolute, mind-numbing shock. Shinji & Asuka’s mothers… were inside their Evas?

Another sound rang out; a series of beeps and clicks from the computer terminals that was different in pitch from the earlier warning signals. Within seconds, lines of red and white code began to scroll across the screens, and within half a minute, the pilots’ bio-signs stabilized, and the warning signals stopped. Immediately, the doors to the chamber opened, and everyone rushed in. With a hiss, the test-plugs opened.

The children were unconscious. Both, however, were curled into fetal positions, the remnants of tears on their peaceful faces. “Do not fear” Zenathros stated over the room’s speakers, “They will recover in time. During the failed experiments, their minds partially merged; they have seen all that makes up the minds of one another. Only time will tell what condition their psyches are in. For now, care for them. And place them in the same room with one another. They will likely wish to be together upon awakening”.

Misato gingerly lifted the unconscious Asuka into her arms, Kaji doing the same with Shinji. As they began to walk out, Kazumee’s voice rang out over the speakers. “One last thing,” he mentioned, “While you may inform the children of our existence, do not yet reveal the presence of their mothers’ souls within us. Also, do NOT, under any circumstances, mention the spirits inside the Evangelion Units to Commander Ikari. If he questions how the pilots were saved, state that Dr. Akagi found and repaired an error in the programming”.
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Two hours later – 5:30 p.m.

Misato, Fuyutsuki, Rei, Kaji, & Ritsuko sat in a small room on the other side of a one-way mirror, the other end resting on the wall of a two-bed hospital room. In the beds, the 14-year-old occupants had slept fretfully for the last two hours, the events that they’d seen replaying in their minds over and over again. From a nearby window, sunlight tinted orange by the evening. Everyone watched and prayed that the two would wake up soon.

Where… where am I? Slowly, consciousness returned to Asuka’s mind and body. Her blue eyes slowly opened, and she turned her head to the left, seeing Shinji staring right back at her. Moving almost as one, the two gingerly got out of their beds, both still clad in their plug-suits. They slowly walked toward one another, meeting in the middle of the room. They stopped, slowly raised their arms…

…and lunged toward each other, embracing tightly and proceeding to burst into tears, sobbing their hearts out. Shinji was clutching Asuka to him as sobs wracked his body. Asuka was holding onto Shinji for dear life, burying her face in his shoulder as she literally wailed in sorrow. The two stood there for what seemed like forever, seeking comfort in one another’s embrace.

Slowly, they calmed down; the deep cries dwindling into sniffles, hiccups, and ragged breaths. They pulled their heads up, gazing into one another’s eyes. For several seconds, all they could do was stare into each other’s eyes – into each other’s souls. Finally, Asuka managed to speak.

“I… I’m sorry… for everything” she managed to choke out.

“I know” Shinji solemnly replied. “I know now… why you were like that. I had no idea you’d lost just as much as I had”.

Asuka nodded, fresh tears starting to fall. “We’re so alike. We’ve both lost so much”.

With that, the two embraced again, reveling in each other’s warmth. Suddenly, their heads simultaneously snapped up at the sound of a door opening. They looked to the door, and saw Misato standing there, a worried look on her face; behind her stood Fuyutsuki, Ritsuko, and Rei.

Rei walked in first, making her way to the two. For a split second, part of Asuka wanted to send her away – to reject the doll-like girl who so closely resembled the stuff of her nightmares. But then she noticed something that shocked her to her core. Rei… was crying, a few tears running down her face, her red eyes shining with concern.

She walked forward and embraced the two, her body shaking lightly with barely-controlled emotions. “I… I thought I’d lost you two…” she stammered out, and the other two pilots each wrapped an arm around her, pulling the three into a group-hug of sorts. Normally, Asuka wouldn’t have bothered, but right now her emotional defenses were pretty much gone, so she acted on her inner nature – the part of her that longed for human contact and affection. She didn’t really care who it was from.

”It’s good to see that you two are awake” Ritsuko said, drawing the three’s attention. “We were starting to worry that you’d both slipped into irreversible comas from the mental strain. As you can see… Miss Ayanami was quite worried about the two of you – so much so that the emotional barricades she once had are now non-existent”.

The trio was joined by Misato walking over and throwing her arms around her two charges, happy that her “children” were safe and sound. For the next five minutes, Ritsuko explained the events after the two went under, leaving out the mention of their mothers’ souls, as per Kazumee’s request.

Needless to say, Shinji & Asuka were… shocked, to say the least. Their Evangelions… were sentient? What’s more, they cared for them? Rei also learned that Dr. Akagi had discovered the name of Unit-00’s resident beast-spirit, a female entity named Litran. (“LIT” as in “lit a match”, and then “ran” as in “the cowardly Grunt ran like a coward” LOL)

“So, uhm… Shinji, Asuka,” Kaji questioned, “If it’s not too traumatic, would you mind… telling us what exactly has happened to you?” Misato started to shoot an angry glare at the man, but Shinji stopped her. “When our minds were being smashed together,” he said, “we saw our own pasts… and each other’s. I guess – if it’s okay with Asuka – I could tell you guys what it was like for us growing up”.

He looked to Asuka, as if for confirmation, and she nodded and opened her mouth slightly, somehow signaling to him that she would tell her past – that he wouldn’t have to speak for the both of them. “Alright, everyone, get comfortable, because this is going to take a little while”.

Rei & Misato sat down next to the two, Kaji sitting behind Misato with his arms wrapped around her waist – at the moment, she didn’t mind. Ritsuko & Fuyutsuki each sat in a chair against the wall – they already knew the basics, but for some reason they not wanted to hear the details from the children’s perspective.

“Alright then,” Asuka said shakily, “I guess I’ll start”. For the next 20 minutes, she revealed her past to all present (Shinji, of course, had already more than learned of it during the mind-meld). She told of the contact experiment that saw the loss of her mother’s sanity – Ritsuko verified the claim – and of the long years of heartbreak, sorrow, self-loathing, and emotional barricades. A few times along the way, she would start to cry again, and Shinji would comfort her until she calmed.

After it was over, Misato and Rei could not hope to conceal their tears. Kaji had experienced a moment of clarity: ‘So this is why she was so clingy’ he thought, ‘she was just looking for someone to acknowledge her’. Even the two scientists at the edge of the room had been slightly moved by the girl’s tale.

Next was Shinji’s turn. For the next 18 minutes, Shinji told of his life. Losing his mother; abandonment by his father; years of darkness. By the end of it, Fuyutsuki & Ritsuko were a little shaken; though they had known that Shinji had been abandoned by Gendo and grown up alone, they had had no idea of the emotional damage this had caused.

Kaji couldn’t help but pity the boy; he had been through more than most human beings could stand… and it was all that bastard Gendo’s fault. ‘I never did like that man’ Kaji thought. Misato & Rei, however, were dealing with two distinct mixes of emotions: pity, compassion, & sorrow for Shinji… and shock, horror, & rage at what his father had done to him. In less than half an hour, all traces of loyalty Rei once held for the Commander had been shattered irreparably.

Shinji & Asuka were again holding on to each other, with Misato joining in. Finally, Misato said “Come on, you two. Kaji & I will take you home”, to which Kaji nodded. The five got up off the floor and walked out the door, Misato grabbing Shinji & Asuka’s street clothes on the way. Ritsuko looked to Fuyutsuki, who nodded silently, and the two went off behind them as an escort.

As they moved on, Rei never left the two other pilots’ side. Up ahead, Gendo Ikari, commander of NERV, stepped out into the hallway from a doorway, but stood back to allow the group to pass. Immediately, they all, with the exception of Shinji, looked directly at him as they passed.

Fuyutsuki gazed at him almost sorrowfully, the old man’s face etched with disappointment. Ritsuko looked at him with contempt as she passed. Kaji looked at him with what seemed like a mix of the previous two’s expressions. Misato looked at him with a mix of deep anger and disgust, turning her nose up at him and wrapping her arm around the children’s shoulders.

But most disturbing were the faces that Asuka & Rei shot him. Their gazes to him were filled with intense, palpable, almost indescribable hatred. If looks could kill, Gendo would’ve been a puddle of blood on the floor. As they passed, he felt a sudden headache, as Rei’s voice seemed to invade his mind, seething with cold hate: a telepathic communication:

‘To think I once trusted you. But now, after seeing the pain you have put my Shinji through, I despise you with every fiber of my being. If you ever come near them again… I will kill you’.

With that, the pain faded from the man’s head, but his mind continued to reel as his brain went into overdrive, trying to comprehend what had just happened. ‘What… was that?’
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Well, that was the first chapter. The lemon is coming in the second, so stay tuned.