Bride of Alucard

Alucard was walking the streets bored and restless he hadn’t had any form of action lately and it was starting to get to him, he wanted to kill damn it, to maim and torture instead everything was quiet, to fucking quiet in his mind. The sun was starting to rise, God how he hated the sun, “Smug bastard” he muttered then turned around and started the walk back to the Hellsing manor.
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It was on one of his walks looking for any form of action that he first felt it, a pull that he couldn’t resist, he started walking fast and faster until he was running and then there he was suddenly, standing out front of a large and seedy looking block of apartments, the pull stronger then before, and he could stop the thought that what was going to happen tonight would change his life forever.

He started to rise up searching for whatever was causing the anomaly, and stopped at a window on the fourth floor, whatever it was it was like a siren calling to him, the call he knew would lead him into danger but it was to strong to resist (and he was looking forward to any form of danger) he stepped onto the balcony rails and looked inside the window, there he saw her.

A girl 19 or 20 he guessed sitting on a couch watching television, she had hair that was black, pale skin yet it had a sprinkling of freckles too he noticed, he wondered what colour her eyes would be, and also what she had to do with this feeling.

Alucard smiled, he had always hated waiting and preferred mysteries to be solved quickly, he wondered what her reaction would be if he just suddenly ‘appeared’ on the couch next to her, and the he started to laugh softly to himself and decided to find out the answer to that question as well as the other strange question that ran through his mind, What colour are her eyes?
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Alucard appeared suddenly and soundlessly on the couch next to her and smiled then chuckled, the girl whipped her head around and looked at him, ‘Blue’ he thought ‘Her eyes are deep dark blue.’

She looked at him with wide innocent eyes and a big smile, and then she asked “Would you like to ride the washing machine?”

Alucard blinked unsure of what to say or do, here he was appearing out of thin air practically and the damned girl asks him if he wants to ride the washing machine.

He looked at her curiously and thought to himself I’m not going to ask, I’m not going to ask but then heard himself say “How do you ride a washing machine?”

She smiled brightly at him and he started to think that maybe she had a serious mental problem.

“well it’s easy, what we do is get a top loader, you know one of those ones with the lifty lid on the top” and then damned if the girl didn’t demonstrate with her hands how to lift a lid before continuing on “and then you get in and we turn it on and wheeeeeeee spin cycle, I am sooooo jealous I have always wanted to ride the washing machine”

Alucard looked at the girl trying to place her accent, ‘Australian’ he thought and wondered what she was doing in England, a moment later he raised one eyebrow and gave, what he thought affectionately of as, his ‘evil’ grin and replied “Why don’t you, ride the washing machine?”

She looked at him and said “I always think I’m going to break it if I try so I don’t” and sighed deeply.

Alucard had the insane urge to tell the girl what he was and wondered what she would say to that, then deciding it would be worth the risk just to see her reaction he looked at her and said
“I’m a vampire”

She smiled held out her hand as if to shake and said “I’m a Catholic”

He blinked suddenly once again and repeated slowly in case it didn’t register the first time “I.. am.. a.. blood.. sucking.. evil.. vampire”

Her smile held and she replied just as slowly “I.. am.. an.. Easter.. and.. Christmas.. Catholic”

Noting that what he was obviously hadn’t gotten a reaction out of her Alucard finally decided enough was enough and got up, loomed over her in a menacing fashion, and removed his glasses showing his red, evil looking eyes before saying “why are you just sitting there calmly, are you simple or just plain insane” before stopping in shock as the girl plunged her hand straight up in the air narrowly missing him (damned reflexes slowed down when he stopped paying attention) waved her hand around saying “oh, oh pick me, pick me, for the love of god pick me”

“What!” Alucard snapped

“False” the girl said, and then she put her hand down and stared at him with that damned smile again.

Alucard growled deep within his throat, but instead of looking alarmed the girl just said in the most annoying baby voice he had ever heard “awww, it wooks wike somebody needs a wittle nappy, hey cranky bum”
“Do you realise that I am 2 seconds away from draining you of you life’s blood and snapping your neck!”
She pouted and tried to act sorry then muttered “I knew I should have picked true”
“That’s not the point!” he yelled
She looked at him confused “so it’s false?”
Alucards eyes went deep red and shadows started to gather around him, but still the girl looked confused.
He growled once more and thought about all the ways he could kill her, he’d wipe that fucking smile off her face once and for all, his hands started clenching together and he gritted his teeth, he felt his fangs start to grow and throb in anticipation of the blood lust and knew he had to leave or else he would kill the innocent (but stupid) girl, and then disappeared as fast as he had appeared.
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The girl lost her confused look and started to laugh, she laughed so hard tears ran down her cheeks, “oh my god, oh my god I can’t believe that worked” she gasped laughingly “I have still yet to meet a man or woman alive or dead who can handle my ramblings” she started to laugh harder as she thought of the look on his face when she asked if he wanted to ride the washing machine ‘God bless Family Guy, The Simpson’s, Futurama and Southpark’ she thought, then she stopped laughing and started to wonder what the hell a real live (or dead) vampire was doing in her apartment and what the hell that could mean, and why did his voice send delicious shivers through her body, was it the accent?

No she had been around a lot of English men and though she was a sucker for an accent, she never reacted that intensely before. She sat up straight suddenly realising she was hoping, almost preying, she would she the mysterious vampire with the red coat and hat again, and soon, worse she was trying to imagine what he would look like without the hat, and coat, in fact she was trying to imagine him in nothing "You perverted bitch. What the fuck is wrong with you?”she muttered to herself.
She wasn’t laughing anymore.
She stood up and streatched, then decided it was time for bed.
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THE NEXT NIGHT

She was lying in bed and suddenly there he was, the man in red, it was almost like she had conjured him up with her thoughts,
he knelt on the bed and slowly moved his body over hers, bracing his arms on either side of her so he wasn’t yet touching,
his mouth slowly descended down to her neck, their eyes locked together, then suddenly she felt his breath on the side of her neck his tongue inched out and he slowly licked her going down at an agonizingly slow speed,
down he moved until he reached the valley between her breasts,
her breath hitched on a moan as his tongue moved slowly over circling her nipple, he looked up and smiled opened his mouth and said
"beep beep beep beep beep" she blinked and thought ‘what the fuck’ then as she went to ask him what the hell he was doing he disappeared but still the sound remained
beep beep beep beep it was next to her now, she rolled over to see what it was and
BANG.

Ella woke up in pain and wondered how the hell she managed to fall out of a bed she had been sleeping in for over a month now,
all she could hear was a beeping going on in her head, suddenly she realised it wasn’t in her head, it was that damn alarm clock she had been meaning to destroy for weeks now.

She groaned remembering how the bastard had woken her up from a damn good dream about a very sexy vampire and decided death was to good for the alarm clock.

She lay on the hard floor trying to will away the annoyance of both a headache (thanks to falling out of bed) and the throb of desire (thanks to the dream) after cursing the clock, the bed, the floor and just about everything else she could think of she sighed and got up, turned off the alarm and went to the bathroom thinking of all the things she would dearly love to do to the clock.

‘It’s like one of those damned annoying relatives who always manages to call just when your sitting down to dinner’ she thought,
“Curse all alarm clocks” she shouted and felt much better.

After hopping in the shower then brushing her teeth she walked out of the bathroom and wondered what she was going to wear to work, not that it really mattered when she was paid for taking off her clothes, but damn it all she liked to look pretty.

Ella sighed and put on her basic jeans and a T, walked onto her balcony lit up a cigarette and sighed again
“Damn you Salazar, damn you” she muttered, before stubbing out her smoke and leaving for work.
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Ella was skipping home (yes skipping) after work thinking that all in all it hadn’t been a bad night she only had to give a lap dance to two seedy old men, had gotten felt up twice and propositioned once, yes in her mind a good nights work, she only had to give three people a taste of the back of her hand (the two men with the busy fingers and the one wannabe player) but hell she loved her job so it was worth it.

As she was skipping she decided to hum a bit then stopped suddenly with the creepiest feeling something was watching her ‘no not watching’ she thought ‘stalking’ she looked around her and realised that like the annoyingly busty and slutty chick in the horror movies.

(you know the one who hears a strange noise and walks outside in nothing but a bath robe after hearing that a mad killer is on the loose, and then walks into the creepy woods shouting “hello is anyone out there” and your screaming “BEHIND YOU, YOU STUPID BITCH!”, that chick)

she had walked onto a dark street with no one that she could see about and to top it off there was fog “shit” she muttered softly and then tried to remember if it was better to run or stay where she was, she looked left then right muttered “shit” once more, sighed and began to run, all the while muttering “shit” over and over again like a prayer.

Ella heard a noise behind her and turned her head to see what it was when she saw nothing there she turned again to look in front of herself just in time to watch herself run head long into a pole SMACK,
As she lay on the ground her litany of “shit” turned into one of “ow” and damned if she didn’t see stars, she blinked a couple of times and realised that yes she could see stars because, Adurr, it was night time and she was on her back on the ground, suddenly she remembered what the fuck she was doing before she hit that pole (which by the way jumped out at her from no where) she was starting to think all the inanimate objects in England had some sort of conspiracy against her, it was easier to accept that then the truth that she was just a spazz, she got up suddenly and gritted her teeth against the dizziness and nausea and started to run again.

She turned the corner on what she hoped was her street (stupid sense of direction she had one sometimes she just chooses to take the scenic route, without planning to, or wanting to, but that was beside the point, she looked around and realised that she must have decided on the scenic route cause she sure as shit didn’t know where she was, she looked around and wondered what the hell she was going to do because that feeling of being stalked was getting stronger.

She took a deep breath and started to pray that whatever was toying with her was human, she could cope with human, anything else and well she’d be worm food. She looked around and wondered what to do try to get help off of someone or keep running.

As she was pondering this difficult question she felt something grab her ankles, her eyes widened and she looked slowly down only to see a pair of red eyes looking back at her.

Ella was quite proud of the fact that she didn’t scream unfortunately what she did was squeal like a piglet and then the world went black.