Bleeding Love

Bleeding Love

Flora Winter

I do not own Death Note and I’m not making any money here either.

Summary: Can you hear the bells? Do you see my scars? May I taste your apples? This will contain boy love, language, and other warnings as the story goes along. L/Light.

Prologue

The bells were so loud today. He could hear them so clearly over the sound of the pouring rain. He shivered just slightly, slowly coming to accept it. Light Yagami was going to kill him. The only friend he had truly thought he had made in this life was going to kill him, and he was all right with it. Light really did illuminate the darkness, scattering the shadows of loneliness in his brilliant wake. He truly loved Light’s mind and he truly loved Light. So, it was okay. It was okay to die by the hand of the one you loved. He had lost and he accepted it.

He turned his large dark eyes, seeing that Light was shouting something at him from across the roof. He couldn’t hear him over the bells and the falling rain. It was all too loud. He put his hand to his ear, showing him he had no clue what he was shouting about.

“What are you doing up here in the rain?” Light yelled, looking a little upset. What did he have to be upset about? He had won after all.

He had heard him that time, but he decided to play with him like he always did. He just kept his hand to his ear, making the handsome college student shout again. Oh, this was fun. He wanted to see what he looked like in soaking wet clothes. Come on out and play with me, Light.

He wanted him to come out into the rain with him. Why must he be the only one who was wet and cold? Well, he was the one who decided to come up here and stand. Stupid bells!

“I said,” Light growled, shrugging his shoulders in defeat, and walked across the roof to stand beside him in the downpour. “What are you doing up here?”

“I’m listening to the bells,” he said, looking up at the sky with closed eyes. “They are so loud today. Can’t you hear them?”

He opened one eye, watching the taller man listening from the corner of it. He secretly smiled. It looked like Light was really trying to hear them, too.

“Um, no,” he said, shaking his wet head. “I can’t hear anything over this rain, L. I can barely hear you or myself talk.”

“Oh, I see,” L said a little sadly, opening his other eye to take in the dark sky. “I thought it might be a church bell, wedding bells, or…”

He looked down at his paper white feet, stirring a puddle with his right toe. What was he doing? Why was he talking like this? There really was no point in it. Nothing was making sense anymore.

“What are you really doing up here, L?” Light asked, looking at him with those curious eyes. The innocence was gone in them. They were now cold and filled with luminous ice. It almost made him want to cry. He shook his head, causing the slightly younger man to put his hands up in defense from the flying water. It made him chuckle because they were already standing in the pouring rain together. What was a little more water? Did Light not want to be anymore wet than what he already was?

What was he doing up here anyway? Well, he came to say goodbye to the rain of course. He knew he would never get to stand in it again. He would never get to stand under any kind of sky again. All the pieces were now in place and he had nowhere to go. All he could do was just stand here and wait for the sudden pain and then darkness.

“I’m not sure,” he lied, turning his back to him. “I tend to do very strange things.”

Light laughed and it caused his heart to squeeze just a little in his chest. He liked hearing him laugh. It filled him with a painful sadness. How could he laugh like that? It was so warm. It was a complete contradiction.

“Let’s go back in before we catch a cold,” Light said, turning to walk away from him. “Or do I have to punch you in the face and drag you back in kicking?”

L slowly turned around, following along behind him, not taking his eyes off his broad back. What thoughts were running through that mind of his? It would no doubt something genius. He didn’t want to be punched again, because it hurt, and he didn’t like kicking Light in the face either, even though it did give him a good tickle. It gave him a chance to feel him and have fun with him. The two of them were so equals on many levels.

“Here,” Light said, throwing him a towel as he closed the large door behind him. “I did bring these with me just in case.”

L caught it and just stood there in the silent shadows, watching him dry his wet hair. He watched him sit down on the steps under a beam of pale light from the glass window above his head. He knew how he felt. It was hard and difficult to stand at the top all the time and not be threatened by a strong wind that could send you plummeting to your doom.

“It’ll be lonely,” he whispered.

“What?” Light asked, continuing to dry his hair. “What was that?”

He suddenly felt his feet carrying him towards the younger man on a sudden impulse that took control of him. What in the world was he doing? He really was losing his mind. When was the last time he had slept? When was the last time he had had something sweet to nibble on? He couldn’t remember. If something did happen, he could either just pass out or blame it on the lack of sugar.

He knelt down before Light on his knees and lifted up his right foot.

“What?” Light asked in a nervous voice. “What are you doing, L?”

L looked up at him with his large owlish eyes. He really was in love with him. Why couldn’t he see that? He really had lost his damn mind. He blamed that on the lack of yummy goodness. He was in love with the enemy. Well, he could always blame that on sleep deprivation. He was actually surprised that he wasn’t gracefully falling down the steps, landing in a broken heap at the bottom.

“You’re drying off,” he said, lifting up Light’s large foot. He really did have nice feet. “I just thought I’d help. I could give you a massage. I’m really quite good at it, too.”

Light’s eyes were glowing with a spooky and yet heated shimmer. He watched how the larger man bit his bottom lip. He was nervous. Why was he nervous? He was nervous? Since when did Light show his nervousness about anything? He was always so calm, so controlled. Oh, he liked this face. It was unsure and innocent.

Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

“Fine,” Light muttered, looking down into his moth white face. “Do what you like.”

Was he for real? How far could he take this? How much would Light allow? Well, it was time to experiment on the one thing he couldn’t understand.

He began to rub his towel along the bottom of Light’s heel, pressing up, causing Light to jump in slight discomfort.

“Ouch,” Light yelped, face cringing a little. “Hey…”

“It’s all right,” he said, feeling sadness gripping his heart by icy cold talons. “You’ll get used to it.”

Do you understand my words, Light? The world is full of discomfort. What scars are you hiding? What happened, Light? Why are you like this? What made you like this? Did those Death Gods make you like this? Are they holding their power over your head? Can I save you? Can I keep…you?

“Here,” Light said, gently drying off his bangs with his towel. “You’re still wet.”

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted into the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking ‘round
Thinking I’m going crazy

He gently stopped massaging his foot and looked up at him with tears streaming from his eyes. He had not cried in a long time. He was 74 percent sure he had forgotten how. His tears were so silent. He didn’t even know how to sob. What was wrong with him? Was he afraid? Yes. He was afraid, but not for himself. He was afraid that he would lose Light. He didn’t want to lose him. He wanted to save him and keep him all for himself.

“Hey,” Light asked in what he knew was genuine concern. “What’s wrong with you?”

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My hearts crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Why, Light? Why do you keeping cutting me? One minute you’re you and the next you’re somebody cold and scary. Why?

He slowly lowered his head, planting a kiss on the smooth top of his foot. The tears dripped from his bone white cheeks onto that golden flesh. He raised his eyes, looking up into Light’s that were filled with a stunned horror.

“What is this?” Light asked in a quivering voice, not trying to pull his foot away. He looked too shocked to do anything at the moment. It looked like he was fighting a violent war inside those deep eyes. “What’s wrong with you, L?”

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keeping bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

L could only smile. He could see their tennis match. He had had so much fun that day with him. They both really hated to lose so much. They were both so childish. It was the moment Light had won the match that he had fallen for him. It was like Eros had removed his blindfold and bitch-slapped him across the face with a golden arrow.

He remembered how he had had Light’s room at his home bugged. He had watched him sleep for hours, noting every detail of his sleeping habits. He could see his slightly parted lips. They were so kissable. He could see the gentle rise and fall of his chest. He wanted to rest his head above his heartbeat and just listen to it until he passed out. He was such a creepy pervert.

“You’re my only friend,” he said, gently massaging his foot again. “I…I really care about you…”

He wished the voices in his head would just shut up. They were telling him that this man was a cold blooded killer. He was a monster and he needed to be punished for his crimes against humanity.

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Filling me with doubt
Yet I know that their goal
Is to keep me from falling

Light’s skin was so soft and he loved the golden smoothness of it under his white hands. When would he pull away from him? It was only a matter of moments and it would be too soon. Why was he so alone? Why did it have to be like this?

He’s a killer! Make him pay! He has killed hundreds, including innocent people. You know this! What are you waiting for? Take him down! He’s not your friend! He’s going to fucking kill you! Is that what you want? Is this what you really want? Do you want to die?

SHUT UP!

He froze in silent shock when a large hand gently caressed his porcelain smooth cheek, pulling his face up towards the light. There was something in those eyes. There was something he had thought he had seen once before, but only for a moment. There was fear in them and something else.

“I’m your only friend? You care about me?” Light whispered in near silent awe. “Do you really mean that?”

L let go of his foot, leaned forward, wrapped his arms around his waist, and rested his face against that rock hard tummy. His heart jumped when Light held him like that, resting his cheek on top of his wet head. There was still some humanity left in him. The darkness had yet to totally take control of him. He was sure of it.

But nothing’s greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy
Maybe, maybe

He couldn’t believe it. Was this for real? He was so…happy in this tiny little moment in time.

“L…?” Light gasped, shivering under his hands. “What…what are you doing?”

He wanted to taste him. He wanted him in his mouth. He wanted him panting, moaning, squirming, and screaming as those large hands pulled his hair in ecstasy. That was all he wanted. All he wanted was Light’s heart. Was that asking for too fucking much?

Stop it! What are you doing? He’s going to kill you! He’s going to dance over your grave and eat candies, too! You’re so fucking stupid! If you want his heart so fucking much, cut it out, and eat it like an apple for Christ’s sake!

I said SHUT UP!

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

He undid Light’s belt, pulling his pants along with his boxers down, freeing his nearly hard root. It was the most beautiful pink blossom he had ever seen. He gently licked a pearly drop that was dripping from his slit, causing light to buck back against the step.

“You really want me?” Light groaned in heated shock, gripping his shoulders. “Are you for real?”

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

L licked dizzying circles around Light’s pink bud, loving the taste of creamy goodness he was getting in return. It was so sweet. It reminded him of something he had not had in a long time.

Light moaned when a white hand fondled his apples, and he closed his warm wetness over his forbidden fruit, sucking for the yummy pearly sauce. The taller man trembled under him, squirming, and gripping handfuls of his dark hair.

He jumped when Light began to pull on his shirt. Did he want him to take it off? If he did, that could ruin everything. It would destroy the magic of this happy moment.

“Come on,” Light trembled, jerking on it. “I want to feel your skin against mine.”

L removed his mouth as Light removed his own shirt, telling him to take off his own. Light narrowed his eyes.

“Come on,” he said, taking L by the hand, pulling up his pants with the other one. “Let’s go back out there in the rain.”

“What?” L asked, being dragged to his feet.

Light turned around to look down at him. “I want to do this in the rain.”

“All right,” L said, letting go of his hand, and slowly removed his own shirt. He let it drop to the ground with a wet plop. He kept his eyes lowered and he felt those eyes burning into him.

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

His bottom lip trembled when he felt Light trace the scars that littered his arms, chest, and shoulders like tattoos with a warm finger.

“Turn around,” Light softly commanded.

L slowly did so, and looked up at the glass ceiling as that finger traced them. He felt so weak and vulnerable right now. He was naked. Light could see the scars he had carried for most of his life. There were now out in the open for everyone to see.

“How many?” Light asked, tracing the scars on his shoulder blades.

L just stood there with his back to him. “One for every sin…Light.”

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

He felt Light looming over him and he braced himself for sudden rejection. His body was grotesque. He knew that.

His eyes widened in shock. He felt something wet and warm tracing a scar along left shoulder blade. Light was licking one of his many scars.

“Come on,” Light whispered in his ear. “I’ve always wanted to make love in the rain with somebody who cares about me.”

Make love?

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love…

To be continued…maybe…

I just got done watching Death Note and I’m in love. That’s all I can really say. This anime is destined to become a classic. It was just one giant mind fuck that kept me screaming for more of its morbid and spooky beauty. Please leave me a review and tell me what you think. I know they might seem a little out of character, but, hey, it’s a fanfiction and anything goes in my world. I just want these two to be together. They belong together! That’s just all there is to it. I love you L/Light! Oh, I simply had to add the scars thing. L just seemed like the type that would cut himself for every life he failed to save.

Flora.

Note: Song lyrics belong to Leona Lewis.