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Kinky Situations	By : kitana Category: +. to F > D. Gray Man Views: 4440 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Kinky Situations
- 1
Title: Kinky Situations
Author: Kitana
Warnings: NC-17; Lavi x Allen x Kanda. Set at the end of the events on the ark (forget which ep.) Kanda can’t get the kinks out of his hair; Allen and Lavi “help.”
Author’s Note: I wrote this purely for my own fanatical Kanda-hair fantasy purposes. :D I’ve seen people rendered into puddles of fluff from scalp massages; I can’t possibly believe that Kanda would be unaffected. >D This is not the hottest thing I’ve ever written, but it somehow is the most satisfying thing to date. :3 I am completely amused.

~***~

Now that the Ark was sailing smoothly through the dimensions, Allen felt he could relax a bit. The ark was large enough to have more than 10 rooms for everyone, but despite that, they’d all chosen rooms that were close together. Cross and Lenalee alternated between checking Crowley’s room for signs of improvement, Kanda shut himself off in his room (not that that was unusual), and Lavi just wandered around aimlessly, occasionally shaking his head and staring at the bag holding the tiny pieces of his hammer.

Despite their bruised and battered states, everyone was alive, and that’s all that mattered. Right now, though, he and Lavi sat in companionable silence. It was so peaceful; Allen lay back on the couch he was on, closing his eyes. The stillness was palpable, and his ears strained to hear something, anything.

Allen’s eyes snapped open when he finally did hear something, something that sounded like a snort and an angry growl. He turned to look at Lavi, who wore an amused expression.

“Lavi – that sounded a little like Kanda, didn’t it?” Allen asked, sitting up.

“Yeah,” Lavi replied, with a smirk. “He’s probably just bent out of shape about Mugen. Not that I don’t understand.” Lavi looked meaningfully at his hammer bits.

Allen stood up, stretching, before striding towards the door. “I’m going to go see anyway, just in case.”

“Paranoid much?” Lavi said, grinning, getting up to follow behind Allen. “Or do you just need to have an excuse to see him?”

Allen shrugged and smiled, not wanting Lavi to know that he’d hit the nail on the head. “Maybe.”

~***~

Another curse and grumble came from Kanda’s room as Allen knocked on it, Lavi closely behind him. Kanda’s door swung open angrily, and he stared down at Allen and Lavi, his expression nothing short of pure irritation.

“What do you want, beansprout?” Kanda muttered, a death grip on both the doorknob and a hairbrush he’d somehow dug up.

Lavi couldn’t help but snicker – Kanda looked like a fuzzy rat around the head. Kanda cut his eyes at him, and Lavi’s snicker turned into a full blown cackle.

“Lavi!” Allen exclaimed before turning back to Kanda. “I heard your curses, so we came to uh, see what was wrong.” Allen’s eyes flickered to the hairbrush clutched in Kanda’s fingers and couldn’t help the smile that came across his lips; Kanda did look ridiculous.

“There’s nothing wrong. Go away,” Kanda replied, turning to close his room door again.

Quickly, Allen stuck his foot in the door jamb, squeezing in. Again, Lavi was right behind them, still hiccupping with little fits of laughter. “I’ve never seen Yu’s hair so undone before… I almost wish I had a camera!”

Kanda’s fingers twitched with the urge to grasp for Mugen, and it only fueled his irritation when he realized that Mugen was nothing but scrap metal at the moment. “Get out,” he gritted, annoyed beyond belief. Mugen was destroyed, he was – and he hated to admit it – damn near half dead, and to top it off his hair was so knotted it would even lie down.

Lavi’s face was beet red with amusement. “Are you that sensitive about your hair, Yu?” Lavi put emphasis on Kanda’s name, dragging it out. He gestured towards Allen. “We can help you, can’t we, Allen?”

Allen looked as if the best, most wicked idea dawned upon him. He grinned in a way that Kanda was sure he wanted no part of what he had in mind. “Of course we can, Lavi, I’m sure Kanda would really appreciate it…”

Kanda felt like he was in some amazingly cheesy zombie movie, with the way Lavi and Allen closed in around him, all grins and evil intentions. He was regrettably weak from his fight with Skinn Bolic; he didn’t even have the energy to make good on his threats. He plopped down on the chair in the room, scowling as he neatly crossed his legs.

“If you must,” Kanda said finally, letting Allen take the brush from his hand.

“Don’t worry, Yu,” Lavi said, running his fingers through Kanda’s hair to find the first few knots. “Can’t be too much different from Lenalee’s.”

Both Allen and Kanda shifted to look at Lavi. He smirked. “Story for another day.”

~***~

Kanda’s scalp was sore from his attempts to yank the brush through his own tangled locks, but he wasn’t going to readily admit that Lavi and Allen’s fingers working steadfastly through the knots eased the ache. The gentle tugging on his hair was soothing, could be even sensual, but Kanda wouldn’t let his mind wander that far.

He was only letting them help because they were annoyingly persistent like that, and would never hear the end of it. His hair had always been special to him; the only time he ever felt fingers in his hair was when the bastard akuma thought that the length would be to their advantage. Kanda closed his eyes and uncrossed his legs, letting himself drift just a little.

He felt the two pairs of hands smoothing through his hair, over and over, sometimes stopping at his scalp to scratch – to stimulate blood flow, Lavi had said – and Kanda felt himself relaxing despite his best efforts. In the back of his mind, Kanda knew exactly why he never allowed people to come close to his hair. He always reacted in a very undignified way.

Allen scratched beneath Kanda’s hair, at the nape of his neck. Unthinkingly, a barely audible sigh came from Kanda and he shivered. He knew this was going to go badly, he knew he needed to get up and kick Lavi and Allen from his room… he knew a lot of things. Yet when he felt Allen’s fingers get caught in one more tangle, tugging his hair a little more forcefully than before, Kanda couldn’t fully bite back the gasp that occurred.

“You liked that, Yu-chan?” Lavi whispered into his ear, barely audible.

Okay, it was time to put them out. It had gone on long enough. Kanda wasn’t going to reveal that bit of information about himself to anyone, especially not Lavi or Allen. Allen’s fingers tugged in his hair again, and the notion flew right out of his head. God damn.

“You do like it,” Allen said. His fingers still tangled in Kanda’s hair, he watched as Lavi experimentally touched his lips to Kanda’s neck. Kanda jerked in protest, opening his mouth to growl defensively. Allen scratched at Kanda’s scalp again.

“No,” Kanda finally replied, shivering. “Get out of my hair. Better yet, get out of my room. Now.”

“But Kanda…” Allen started.

“How do you explain this?” Lavi finished, motioning towards Kanda’s crotch. “Surely you still need help, Yu-chan…” Kanda could hear the grin in Lavi’s voice. And Allen was still scratching his scalp. And he could feel himself relaxing further, despite the soft lips on his neck and the fingers trailing to his pants.

He would stop this, he really would. He would make some kind of obscure, obscene threat that he knew he could make good on, but oh. Allen’s fingers were not stopping the delicious things they were doing in his hair.

Tentatively, Lavi bit down on Kanda’s neck, just hard enough to make the boy’s cock twitch under his palm. Kanda groaned in a way that sent lightning circling through Lavi and Allen. It was like a chain reaction, and Allen shifted himself so that he was on Kanda’s side, fingers still sifting through his long hair.

To think that Kanda’s hair was the key to unlocking the rest of body. Allen and Lavi had once discussed ways to lead Kanda into their respective beds, and neither of them had necessarily considered this.

If he paid enough attention, he could feel Kanda trembling slightly as Lavi’s fingers stroked his clothed erection, his lips pressed tightly into a flat line. Part of Allen wanted to ask Kanda’s verbal permission, but he knew that if he waited for that, he simply would not get what he wanted. He bent over, tugging on Kanda’s hair, forcing the dark-haired boy’s eyes to snap open and focus on him. Kanda opened his mouth, to say something, Allen knew, but before he could, Allen pressed his lips to Kanda’s.

Kanda’s lips were warm, a little dry; Allen wet them with little licks of his own. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Lavi positioning himself between Kanda’s legs. Allen knew Lavi was bold, but not that bold… even still, as long Kanda was this strange victim to hair play, he wouldn’t have to worry about anything.
Lavi’s hot breath puffed over Kanda’s crotch, splitting his attention between the two of them. Kanda had once heard of out of body experiences, and he thoroughly didn’t believe in them up until this point, right now, where everything was frustratingly disjointed. He felt Allen’s lips and tongue, moving back against his own; he heard Allen’s soft groans, the only thing in the room louder than his thundering heart. Allen was still stroking his hair, sending tingles down his spine.
Kanda heard the zipper of his pants, felt Lavi’s warm fingers encasing his erection, stroking lightly. Allen’s free hand came up to drum his fingers across Kanda’s bandaged chest. Despite feeling disconnected, Kanda’s focus was narrowing down to just two points: Allen’s tongue in his mouth, questing, searching; and Lavi’s palm smoothing over his freed cock, warmer and more pleasurable than he would ever care to admit.
Everything was soft and dull in Kanda’s mind, like he was dreaming, underwater, or hell, both. He heard Lavi mumbling, something along the lines of “Are you ready, Yu?” before Lavi did something with his tongue that made enduring the entire last year of his Bookman-esque ramblings completely worth the headaches he’d gotten.
“Shit,” Kanda suddenly breathed against Allen’s mouth, his fingers gripping the sides of his chair.
Fingers in his hair be damned, his entire vision shrank to the redhead bobbing merrily in his lap. Kanda thought his brain might just up and break when Allen finally disentangled his hand from his hair, getting on his knees to join in on Lavi’s fun. Kanda heard nothing but his own harsh breathing and the wet, slurping sounds Lavi and Allen were making.
It was ridiculous, it really was, but Kanda was riding high and teetering on the brink of oh-holy-hell; and when somebody’s – he wasn’t sure if it were Lavi or Allen anymore, damn them – teeth just barely, barely, scraped against the head of his cock, that precipice disappeared, dropping Kanda right into the pit of oh-my-fucking-god.
A string of curses left Kanda’s mouth as he came harder than he’d ever made himself, trembling with pure aftershock. Neither boy between his legs stopped until he was clean.
When Kanda finally regulated his breathing and opened his eyes again, the two Exorcists were standing above him, looking akin to well-fed cats. He could only manage a ghost of his previous irritation.
Lavi opened his mouth to speak.
“Don’t. Just shut up,” Kanda said, cutting him off. He unpeeled his fingers from the sides of chair, flexing them. He then huffed. “I’m going to clean myself up.”
He could feel their eyes on him as he turned to stalk off to the bathroom.
“You don’t want any help?” Allen chimed merrily, nudging Lavi. “There’s still more time yet until the Ark touches down…”
“No,” Kanda said flatly, continuing towards the bathroom.
“Come on, Yu,” Lavi replied, grabbing Kanda’s arm before he was able to get inside of the bathroom door. “Allen and I have plenty of time to kill.”
Allen caught his other arm. “Yep, plenty.”
Kanda sighed internally.
He was going to kill them.
As soon as he figured out what freaking alternate universe he’d stepped into.
~Owari~.
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Kinky Situations