Imaginary lovers are for losers

Imaginary lovers are for losers
Chapter 1 (of 2 probably)


Grell was in the library of the Phantomhive estate, he had retrieved himself from meeting anyone in the mansion, for he was only useful for being kicked around. He had the urge to run around in the building with his chainsaw and provoke them all. The redhead shinigami was restless and broken. After countless times of trying to help Sebastian, being nice to him, showing his good side in the household and most of all, asking Sebastian out on dates, he kept being rejected. He had always believed he would eventually get what he wanted, but that dream seemed far away right now. How could the black butler just not notice Grells true feelings?

The red-haired butler had been hiding in said library all day, knowing not many people came in here on a daily basis, it was about to become dark outside again. He kicked against a chair, trying to keep his emotions inside. What kind of shinigami was he? Showing human emotions, falling in love, feeling hurt, getting ticked off easily lately. Last night he had declared his love for the black butler, it had not been easy to do so. Sebastian was always busy, and always around that kid. So Grell had decided to wait for him to go to sleep around midnight. He had followed Sebastian to his bedroom and hesitantly asked some of his time. Sebastian seemed annoyed how Grell always knew to find him at times he had rather been alone. As the redhead didn’t start talking fast enough, he urged him to speak up, he didn’t have all night for the shinigami’s silly games. Grell took a deep breath and blurted it out. ‘Sebastian, I am in love with you!!’ Sebastian had merely lifted an eyebrow, so it was true after all? He was not interested, he could not be, he had the young master to take care of. ‘The feeling’s not mutual.’ Sebastian simply and coldly stated, before he excused himself and closed the bedroom door. He blew out his candle and went to sleep, thinking he did a good job of getting rid of the annoying red butler for the next few days, or weeks, hopefully.

If he hadn’t been so blinded by love, he could have foreseen the demon butler would not hesitate to push him away. But Grell was devastated. He was still standing in front of the closed door for minutes after Sebastian had disappeared. ‘Why?.. no explanation? ...nothing?’
He sat down in the corner of the library, sobbing his eyes out. What was he going to do now? He felt like his purpose in life had just been taken away from him, maybe it was his own fault for choosing the wrong moment. Sebastian didn’t seem that happy after all. ..Like it all mattered now. He dried his tears hoping they would start flowing as his eyes settled on something he hadn’t noticed up until now. On the desk facing him lay a pair of gloves. A very familiar pair...

Grell stood up and walked to the desk, he sat down on the chair facing the desk and picked up the gloves. There was no doubt about it, they were Sebastian’s. Knowing how well the black butler understood his job, Grell found it strange he could have forgotten his gloves in the library. On the desk was a book on the art of tea, Sebastian must have been reading it when he got called away suddenly, he figured. Hesitantly Grell brought the gloves to his face as he sniffed them. He was one hundred percent sure now, they were undeniably his. If he closed his eyes, he could imagine Sebastian was close to him, as if he had never slammed the door in his face coldly. He could imagine it all never happened. Grell studied the fabric of the gloves, it was strong, yet silky soft, they were made to endure and not bound to rip after a short time of use.

As expected, Sebastian was blessed with clothes of the best materials available in the world, young master Ciel would make sure of that. The relationship those two had could make the shinigami jealous beyond measures. He had often played with the thought of killing the brat, so Sebastian would be his alone. But there was no way he could do that without paying with his own life, the black butler had threatened him once before with taking his life, and he was not kidding. Grell knew Sebastian was probably one of the few able to kill him... Kill him with those delicate, but strong hands, those beautiful hands. Grell looked at the gloves, and clenched them in his hand. He would not let himself get killed before he got what he wanted.

At first he thought he better return the gloves to Sebastian, maybe he would thank him for it, even be nice to him. But Grell knew better, nothing better would come from it. He decided to keep them, he deserved to have something belonging to the man he loved beyond measures. He had the right to keep what he found, especially after being hurt so much. Grell looked up at the window. There was one small window at the back of the library, it was up high, and he could already see the moon appearing. It was getting dark. He looked back at the gloves, when a naughty idea came upon him. He started taking off his own black gloves slowly, as if in a trance, he replaced them with Sebastian’s. He brought a gloved hand up to his face and stroked his cheek. It was unbelievably soft, and he could smell the scent of Sebastian still lingering on them.

Grell closed his eyes, a blush spread across his cheeks. He could almost see Sebastian clearly in front of him. He knew what he was about to do wasn’t appropriate at all, but he deserved this. Yes, if there was anything Sebastian could do for him, it was to let him do this. Keeping his eyes closed, Grell traced down the buttons of his suit, unbuttoning them one by one. He would finally experience what it was like to be touched in a loving way by Sebastian. As all his buttons were opened, he found his way to a nipple. As he started caressing it, the fabric gave a whole new sensation to the touch he felt, it was so different, there was such delicious friction. He trailed over his chest with the other glove, leaving an unexpectedly nice feeling and heating up his body. Oh if Sebastian was really doing this to him, he would melt.

Soon it wasn’t enough anymore as Grell breathed more raggedly and another part of his body ached for attention. In a way he was embarrassed for this action, but he soon forgot all decency as he unbuttoned his pants, and let his gloved right hand softly caress his hard on. ‘Ohh.. Sebastian..~’ He moaned softly. His body became hot and flustered, he lay in the big comfortable chair, his head thrown back, as he let his imaginary lover make him experience more pleasure with his delicious friction. He imagined the dark haired demon touching him everywhere, trailing his tongue down his neck and chest. Grell was blessed with an ever so lively imagination. The more he believed it, the better it got.

The soft caressing became hard jerks, the redhead was so eager for touch, this was the closest he could get to his Sebastian. And boy it felt good. His body was moving along with the touching. ‘Ohh yes,.. so gooood~!’ Grell moaned out loud as he started to reach his climax. He bucked up his hips to meet his touch. He imagined Sebastian on top of him, looking him straight in the eye at that moment, telling him how much he loved Grell. ‘Kyaa! Sebastiahhn!~’ Grell shivered uncontrollably as he came. The waves of pleasure rolling over him. The gloves were stained with fresh warm cum, Sebastian’s smell was gone. ‘Se..bas.. tian!~ …I … love you..’ He managed to say, as he tried to hold back tears, as well of pleasure caused by the imaginary Sebastian, and pain because of the irony. If only Sebastian knew.. Grell panted, he felt pathetic, no, he was pathetic.

There he lay on the chair, long strands of red hair splayed over the chair, breathing heavily as he tried to fight the negative feelings over what he had just done. Did the shinigami feel guilty for taking what he deserved? He took off the gloves, and put his clothes back in a decent way. No he did not feel guilty, it was good, if only it were real. No one would find out about this.
As he got comfortable in the big chair, Grell dozed off in a pleasant sleep, back to his dream world, where everything was always better.


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Don't leave me now, it's definately going to get even better..