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Double Blind	By : RoseThorne Category: +M to R > Pandora Hearts Views: 1341 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Pandora Hearts and do not make any money writing this.

Chapter List
- 1-Double Blind
- 1
Double Blind

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: Pandora Hearts is owned by Jun Mochizuki, Square Enix, et al.

Four hours, twenty-three minutes, and fourteen seconds.

That was how long Liam Lunettes was able to distract himself. After the Sabrie incident� No; after his realization that his more-than best friend had become blind, he�d managed to keep himself busy enough�allowing Oz and Gilbert to distract him, running errands, making necessary preparations�to avoid dreadful thoughts.

He�d managed, for that long, to not-think about it, even as he was looking at recent examples of Break�s handwriting so that he could effectively forge it. Liam had managed to think of it only as work.

But after Oz and Alice and Gilbert had gone off to do their own thing, after the preparations were made, after he had practiced the handwriting enough to feel confident it wouldn�t be questioned� After Liam had realized that, despite having known him for fifteen years, he had no idea what kinds of off-the-wall comments Break might write in his reports�

The niggling, terrible fact was still lurking.

That he had gone blind was irrefutable evidence that Xerxes Break�s body was breaking down, failing.

Liam had managed to keep that knowledge at bay, though Break had so often and matter-of-factly informed all of them that he had perhaps another year. After all, Break always seemed so alive, often maddeningly so, like an overgrown child�the fact that he wore short pants seemed to contribute to that image�that it was easy to forget, especially when one wanted to.

But Break�s time was running out. And soon Liam�s life would be devoid of a certain silly man who had wormed his way into his heart.

And, so, four hours, twenty-six minutes, and fifty-four seconds after the initial realization, Liam found himself standing in front of the door to Break�s quarters uncertainly, desperately needing the reassurance that Break was, indeed, alive, even though he had seen it with his own eyes before setting off on his tasks.

Liam opened the door slightly and peeked in to find Break laying on the bed, curled cutely on his side with his blind�or, rather, eyeless�cheek pressed against a pillow.

Just being able to see him, watch him breathe, helped Liam relax a little.

Here was as good a place as his office or his quarters to do paperwork, he decided, if only because he knew he�d waste time occasionally coming to check on Break anyway, so he slipped into the room and closed the door.

In the next second, he was bowled over by a pillow, thrown harder than he�d have thought possible, hitting him exactly right to make him lose his balance. He found himself on his ass on the floor, with the paperwork he�d brought scattered around him.

When Liam glanced toward the bed he found Break glaring in his general direction, with another pillow ready to fly, and realized that the closing door had woken him, and Break had reacted because he hadn�t announced himself. He could, after all, be an enemy. And Break had always been notoriously paranoid.

Under the circumstances, Liam was a bit relieved it was only a pillow.

�Xerxes Break!� He was relieved not to stutter too terribly. �You are impossible!�

He saw Break relax minutely, taking his hand away from the cane-sword that was propped against his bed. Then a grin he knew all too well, and the other pillow hit him in the face, much gentler than the first, sending his glasses askew.

�Noisy, noisy!�

Liam could really only sigh as Break flopped back on the bed with a dramatic yawn, making his oversized pajamas�the ones Liam had dressed him in after he�d been carried back from Sabrie unconscious�poof slightly before settling. He picked up the pillows and tossed them at Break, who was prepared for them despite being blind.

If it hadn�t been for being attacked with a pillow, Liam might have thought Break had already adjusted to being blind.

�Really, Xerxes! Am I supposed to announce myself every time I come in here? You never do when you somehow get into my room!�

�But you�re so adorable when you�re startled! That would ruin all my fun!� Break raised an index finger and shook it. �And when was the last time I did that while you were asleep?�

Liam readjusted his glasses and then bent to get the paperwork in some semblance of order. �Last week. And two weeks before that.�

Really, he didn�t mind those times, since Break sneaking into his quarters at night generally only meant one thing. But he did enjoy startling Liam awake on those occasions that he dozed off before Break came.

When he got up, Break�s grin had changed into a look that made him blush, and he quickly set the papers on Break�s disorganized, messy excuse for a desk before he fumbled them.

�Oh, my. Is that why you�re here, then? I certainly don�t mind waking up for that!�

Normally, Liam wouldn�t have minded himself, but he was far too conscious of the fact that Break had been unconscious for three days, and that the strain of the Hatter had taken a toll on his body to the extent that he was blind.

But it was hard to talk of such things with Break, who was a master at avoiding serious subjects, so instead he said, �You�re incorrigible.�

�Is that your way of telling me I�m a pervert, Liam-san?�

He ignored the comment. �Your paperwork has piled up for days, Xerxes. I�d just do it for you, but your particular brand of humor is� unique.�

�Because I am, indeed, quite a pervert, as you well know by now!� The grin turned into a leer. �And you�re not so innocent yourself, you know.�

Liam couldn�t hold it in any longer. �You are resting, not straining yourself even more than you already have!�

The outburst startled both of them, and it was Break who finally sighed. �I suppose it was too much to hope, after you noticed, for you not to be upset. You�ve always been such a worrywart!�

Liam sat beside him on the bed, slowly, hesitantly. �Well, you keep overdoing things. How would you feel if I put myself in danger?�

Break only smiled, shifting until his legs were propped on Liam�s shoulder. �Fortunately, you and the March Hare abhor violence enough to stay away from fieldwork! I do sometimes worry you�ll get a fatal paper cut or be crushed under an avalanche of paperwork, though!�

Even now, Break wasn�t going to have a serious conversation about this. Even now, he was trying to distract Liam. And Liam wished he could be distracted, but�

�You weren�t even going to tell me, were you?�

He moved his head away when Break began fiddling with his earring with his toes, clearly still trying to distract him.

�I knew you would notice,� Break finally said, giving up on the attempts to distract him. �And there was no need to tell you in front of certain other people.�

�Then why were you surprised that I found out?�

Break abruptly swung around until he was lying across Liam�s lap, and reached up to touch his face. �I wasn�t. But you were making that worried expression. I could sense it. There�s no need for it.�

Liam kept his mouth shut, knowing that if he answered it he�d say something stupid about Break dying and it would become real and they would have to deal with it. And Liam didn�t think he could handle it, not now. Not ever.

It was going to be hard enough when the end did come.

He would just have to do his best to protect Break, whether he wanted to be protected or not, to ensure they had as much time together as possible before Liam would have to relearn how to live without him.

So instead he leaned into Break�s touch, and made an effort to calm down. Break was here, now, and that was what should matter.

�I�m sorry you�re blind, Xerxes,� he murmured once he trusted himself to speak again. �It must be difficult.�

Liam said it for something to say, and because the prospect of not being able to see was personally terrifying to him. It was hard enough as it was to stay marginally useful; he knew full well that so many members of Pandora considered him quite useless because he couldn�t fight, even if they did trust in his word.

As was frustrating to only be able to do deskwork at times�especially when it meant that he could only watch as colleagues and acquaintances were there one day and permanently gone the next, when someone as important to him as Break was faced with danger during nearly every mission and more often than not came home with blood on his cravat from overusing his Chain�Liam would lose even that if he ever lost his sight.

So Break�s sudden evil little grin worried him, especially when the hand that had been on his face snaked into his breast pocket to pull out his handkerchief.

�Why don�t you try it?�

Liam was too startled to resist when Break reached up, took his glasses, and wound the bit of cloth around his head, covering his eyes, tying it behind his head. And then Break pulled him by the hand off the bed and left him standing, lost and blind.

It was mildly terrifying, to not be able to see his surroundings, to analyze the situation visibly. Not that Xerxes Break had ever been someone Liam could analyze, but it was hard enough going without glasses for any amount of time. Being completely blind�

He didn�t know how Break could stand it.

He tried walking, feeling around, but there was nothing. He remembered that there wasn�t much furniture near the bed, but that if he went far enough he�d find the outside wall. But when he couldn�t find it with his hands he had to push down a bit of panic and remember that he was with Break, and he could always take off the blindfold. And that, along with the thought that if he learned what Break would need from him he could be more useful to him, helped Liam push down the panic and keep trying to find his bearings and deal with the darkness.

All he could hear was his own breathing, his heart beating loud and fast in his chest. He knew, beyond himself, if he concentrated hard enough, he could hear small movements. But it was going to take minutes he knew Break wasn�t likely to give him to block out the noise of his own body. He didn�t even know where Break was!

Liam would have to make sure to make a bit of noise when he moved, when they were together, so Break would be able to hear him and know where he was.

He heard Break�s voice from far away�by the door?�and turned toward it.

�Of course, I�m only mostly blind, so you�re at a disadvantage. I can see shapes and colors, a little. And if you�re floundering like I think you are, it�s certainly an entertaining mental image, anyway!�

Liam heard the lock click and was, for a moment before he remembered that it was just a blindfold and he could take it off, horrified to think that Break had left him alone like this.

Then Break�s hands came from nowhere, the fingers long and elegant. Liam could imagine them if he tried. They caressed him lightly, their touch more erotic in the complete darkness, with his inability to see them coming and analyze where they might end up. Then those hands pushed him, and he let out a startled gasp as the back of his legs hit something soft and he found himself falling.

Before he had time to panic, the fall stopped and he realized that Break had pushed him back onto the bed.

Liam was about to scold him, to warn him to be careful lest one of them wind up hurt. But then those hands were back, pulling his clothing off, and the rebuke died on his lips.

�Hm� You wear too much clothing, Liam-san!� Break�s lips nuzzled his earlobe briefly. �It�s like unwrapping a present!�

His words seemed to shoot straight to Liam�s groin, and he had to struggle to keep his breathing somewhat level. He hadn�t realized when he put the blindfold on that Break intended this. Liam had expected to have to see how difficult it was to get around the room or something like that. Not sex.

It made sense, he supposed, for him to feel what Break would feel, to know how to approach him when they were together like this.

But he felt uneasy as those hands removed his clothing, piece by piece, taking it from him and leaving him naked and vulnerable. Oddly, the little comments Break kept making, which would normally irritate him with their teasing and near-belittling of him, were a comfort, giving him something other than sight to concentrate on.

That was something else to be aware of with Break, then.

�Hm, I didn�t realize you were this toned! I suppose even deskwork exercises people somewhat,� Break commented as he took away Liam�s shirt. �All those stacks of papers to carry around, I suppose!�

Liam huffed irritably, finally joining in on the banter. �More likely it�s from chasing after you!�

Break�s only response was a throaty laugh that made Liam�s mouth dry, and then he was pulling the waistband of his trousers. Break tossed them away and leaned in to run his tongue around Liam�s belly button before moving to divest him of his briefs.

With the last piece of clothing, the hands disappeared, leaving him alone in the dark for what felt like forever, and he reached forward hesitantly.

He felt the warmth radiated by Break�s body before he found it, and he was so relieved that he couldn�t stop himself from sighing. It took him another moment to realize that Break had pulled away to remove his own pajamas, that he was naked.

And, of course, Liam added a note to his mental list: to stay close enough to at least be felt, so Break wouldn�t feel alone. Whether they were having sex or not.

He felt the mattress move slightly, and then Break was leaning over him, touching him in ways that had become familiar over time, but felt so much more intense now.

Liam was more hesitant; without sight it was hard to judge the distance between their bodies, or Break�s anatomy. And for the past three days Break had looked so very delicate, his pale face nearly matching the sheets while Liam waited for him to wake up.

If he woke at all.

To block out that memory, he reached out carefully, touching skin that had light scars from battles along the years, ones he barely noticed under normal circumstances. Liam pulled him closer, so they were touching more, trying to block out the knowledge, the eventual end, that those scars reminded him of, and he heard Break laugh softly�the sound so alive.

�I didn�t realize you were so clingy, Liam!�

Break didn�t give him time to respond, leaning in until their noses bumped gently, and Liam knew what was coming, was ready to meet his lips.

It was awkward, more awkward than any other kiss they�d shared�even that first one that Liam had been so unprepared for! But back then Break had been able to see him. Now, with Break blind and Liam blindfolded, neither of them really knew what to expect.

Which meant that they would simply have to practice so Break wouldn�t feel awkward, so they could both take part. Liam somehow doubted that would be a tedious task.

Break�s lips tasted sweeter than normal to Liam, a saccharine combination of the cakes and sweets the others had left with him, and the tea he sometimes had with his sugar.

He didn�t want to stop tasting him.

Apparently Break had similar thoughts, because despite them being naked and his love for playing awful, perverted jokes on Liam on these occasions, they stayed on kissing until they were both breathless and the practice had made a significant impact on quality.

Liam was startled when Break laughed against his cheek. Normally he would have questioned him with a look, but they were both blind now.

�Xerxes?�

He jerked when Break idly traced a fingernail along his chest, touching on sensitive areas and, once he found them, staying on them to play his fingernails across his skin in ways that made it difficult not to squirm.

�Hm. You�re analyzing.� The fingers moved up his chest and flicked his nose. �I�ve warned you about thinking too much, you know!�

Without warning, the other hand was wrapped around him, and Liam nearly jolted off the bed.

Through the haze of pleasure, he could feel Break�s smile against his ear, could hear him whisper, �I�ll have to work harder to make you not-think, I suppose!�

Liam had a moment to be confused�hadn�t the point of this exercise been for him to analyze? To learn how Break felt? To find ways to compensate for his new weakness?�before Break�s long fingers moved and his ability to have coherent thoughts, even something as simple as confusion, was gone.

Break was, for once, completely silent as he touched him, only humming contentedly to himself briefly and then falling quiet once again. There was nothing to concentrate on but the sensation of his fingers, and Liam found himself moving toward orgasm almost too quickly.

Of course, as soon as he was almost to the brink, Break let go of him. And then disappeared to his senses entirely.

�Xerxes, you tease!� Liam managed between pants of breath, sitting up and reaching out to try to find him. Then he realized that he could hear Break rummaging in his bedside drawer, which could only mean one thing.

The rummaging stopped. �Oh? You want to be teased?�

A hand brushed against his cock fleetingly, and was gone before Liam could even consider moving. Then caressed his hair, tugged an earring lightly, tweaked his nipple, before Liam finally managed to grab it and pull Break onto him.

�Yare yare. So impatient!�

Liam huffed in irritation and reached down to find that Break was just as eager as he was. He kept hold of him and leaned forward to kiss the first bit of skin he could reach. From the pulse beneath his lips, he�d found Break�s neck. When he groaned, Liam followed the sound to his lips and showed him just how well he had learned to kiss in the dark.

He wasn�t surprised when he felt Break�s hand snake between his legs, when slick fingers pressed into him, but he was surprised by the intensity of the sensation. Though he�d lost his virginity ages ago, and they had sex regularly�they were up to three nights a week and Liam was beginning to suspect that Break was intending to move it up to a nightly habit�being penetrated, like this, with little beyond touch to focus on, felt more intense than it had in a long time.

Before Liam could really think of the implications of that, Break was moving his hand aside, wedging his narrow hips between his knees, and pushing into him, still as strong as he�d always been despite the Hatter having taken his sight.

White-hot pleasure shot up Liam�s spine, nearly overwhelming him. He managed to retain enough sense to grip Break�s hips, to try to keep him from moving and making it end too soon.

But Break only giggled and leaned in to brush their lips together. �You really need to learn to let go, Liam-san!�

Then, somewhat predictably, Break took advantage of his predicament and moved despite his grip, rolling his hips to do so, thrusting just enough to send Liam teetering over the edge with a shocked moan.

Break didn�t give Liam time to be mortified, didn�t seem bothered by the fact that he�d already come. In fact, he kept thrusting�moving his hips more, going deeper, deeper, since Liam�s grip had relaxed�with one hand on his flaccid penis.

Faster than Liam thought was physically possible�only a few minutes, when even on the previous occasions they�d had sex several times in one night it usually took at least ten, if not longer; they weren�t teenagers, after all!�he found himself responding to Break�s hand around his cock, to Break�s relentless thrusting.

He could feel every sensation. The friction of the head of Break�s shaft catching each time he pulled out for another thrust. The sweat that dripped from Break�s hips onto his legs, wrapped around him for traction. Their bellies touching between thrusts, slick because of Liam�s first release.

Liam had never realized that Break�s hips jerked slightly when he went deeper, as though he had to hold back from making it end too soon himself, that he panted during sex as he never did even during a battle, the way his thumb caressed Liam�s hip lovingly at random intervals�

And more than that, he hadn�t realized that Break�s body tensed as he neared his own release�a tension that didn�t seem to be caused by that release, but by Break�s resistance against it.

�Let go yourself,� he managed between breaths, and was thrilled when Break jerked in surprise, and the tension was swept away by that surprise in the split second before he came.

That, and the hands that continued to touch him, was enough to send him to a second orgasm, one so intense that the darkness behind the blindfold went white for a moment.

Break pulling off the blindfold brought him out of the afterglow daze, and it took Liam a moment to focus enough to see the grin he knew was there.

�So, Master Liam, what have we learned?�

For once, Liam found himself answering without thinking, all those troubling little issues that plagued their lives outside of this moment blessedly absent from his mind.

�Sensory deprivation makes for incredible sex.�

A pleased hum told him that he�d given exactly the right answer, even before Break poked his nose lightly and murmured, �Bingo!� before settling against him more comfortably.

Liam wished he had the energy to show Break what else he had learned, but from the way his body was melting into the sheets, and the way his brain had already melted, it would have to wait until later.

Whether the blindness was another step toward the end that they both so carefully avoided talking about, another section of the time Break had left, the time they had left together, ticked away� for now Liam could endure.

And he knew that Break�s real purpose had been to help him learn to cope with this new evidence of what was coming, to remind him of something very important:

They still had time.

This is set after Retrace 42, and has references to future events (specifically the events of Retrace 51-56).

I�m pretty drawn to angst-ridden pairings, and with Break/Liam you have Break�s acknowledged impending mortality that Liam will have to deal with at some point�even if that point is only after Break dies. But when it comes down to it, that awareness of the unknown time limit and the impending loss has to wear on him.

First time writing sensory deprivation porn, so I hoped it turned out okay.
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Double Blind