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A Paradise for Kids	By : sashocirrione Category: Death Note > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1723 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
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Title: "A Paradise for Kids"

Author: Sashocirrione

Spoilers: Spoilers for everything up to slightly after the Raye Penber incident.

Warnings: Rated T for violence, death and some really minor sexual references. Also, some possibly offensive religious stuff about Christmas and misogynistic attitudes.

Summary: Light found a death note at age ten and everyone else in the cast is younger too. How will a 17-year-old L deal with the naughty pranks of a child Kira? Written for Keelain, the second winner of my 100th-review contest.

Pairings: None except a hint of LxSachiko.

Additional Notes: Most, but not all, canon events previous to this have occurred as normal, except for the entire cast being seven years younger when those events happened. I will try to outline all AU issues in the text itself, so that hopefully everything is clear. This fic starts on December 27th, when Light is ten years old but will soon be eleven.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

CHAPTER 1

As Light dressed himself in a hooded sweatshirt and inconspicuous, slightly dingy clothing, Ryuk said, "Wow, Light, you never dress like this. Where are we going today?"

Light smiled and said, "Today, we'll sneak out and kill Raye Penber along with all the other FBI agents."

Light examined his backpack for one last check of the materials he needed. Even the red curtains were in there, sealed in a plastic bag and with no fingerprints on them whatsoever. Light hummed to himself and snuck slowly downstairs, thinking of the glorious paradise he would create. Someday all the bad people would be gone, and then he would create a worldwide paradise just as peaceful and innocent as his favorite television show, the one he obsessively collected every last bit of merchandise for - Teletubbies.

Yes, soon everyone would be as gentle and sweet as Tinky-Winky, Laa-Laa, Dipsy and Po, and if they weren't, they'd die. The other kids in his grade who had made fun of a ten-year-old for liking a show they said was for toddlers, they were already dead.

Fortunately, Light Yagami was one of the most popular kids in his school, so he created the trends and hardly any of the other kids made fun of him. Most of them were running around in Teletubbies t-shirts or with Teletubbies charms hanging from their backpacks. Otherwise, instead of making carefully-arranged individual deaths, he probably would have needed to blow up the school. Yes, most people were intelligent enough to realize the truth if a real leader showed them how. That's why the world needed Kira.

Light knew he wasn't supposed to go to the subway on his own, but that's where Raye Penber was going, and Light was allowed to go anywhere in the local neighborhood between his house and his school by himself, so he'd just pretend he was going somewhere closer and more respectable if he got caught. Still, it was best if everyone thought he was barricaded up in his room, doing homework. Then there wouldn't be any lie that might be seen through.

When Light reached the bottom of the stairs, he crouched down and scanned everything he could see, looking for the best sneaking route. He saw his sister sitting on the couch, watching one of her stupid pop stars on TV.

He barely registered a glance, but already recognized the face. It was one of those girls Sayu was always talking about nonstop, one she practically wanted to be. Misa Amane, a hyperactive little 13-year-old singer. Her sappy lyrics and high-pitched voice were particularly grating, as were her gothic Lolita clothes. Really, Sayu had no taste.

Light considered whether to crawl across the floor, or merely run for it. If he tried to run during a time Sayu briefly turned away and Sayu looked back at the wrong moment, she'd see him running for it, but if he crawled, it was probably easier to remain unobserved.

Light got down on his belly, using a very flat technique he'd seen in movies about the military. Ryuk drifted behind him, giggling and making comments. When Light had almost made it across the entire living room, there was a sudden commercial break and Sayu jumped up and ran in the direction of the bathroom, not seeing Light but tripping over him on the way.

Light said, "Sayu! Be careful!" and tried to untangle himself, but Sayu had already grabbed his backpack away.

Sayu said, "Wow, you look so mysterious. What game is this? I bet it's a spy game and I've caught you! Ha, ha, ha!"

Sayu was already up and running away before Light could think, and she was holding the backpack and beginning to open it. Light screamed and ran after, but she was quick and too far ahead, already pounding up the stairs, hidden from sight. Light panted, "Ryuk, go outside the house and wait, or I'll put you on a diet."

Ryuk was gone so fast Light could hardly believe it. Light ran up the stairs, following the sounds of his sister's giggles. He burst into Sayu's bedroom to see his worst nightmare. Sayu was just starting to slip the death note sheets out of their protective envelope. One finger had clearly touched the death note paper directly through the cuts Light had made for Raye Penber to write through.

Sayu said, "Look! I've got the secret spy documents!"

Light strode over to her, snatched them back, and said, "I win. You didn't read them yet."

Sayu squealed and made another grab, but Light held everything out of her reach, using his greater height to advantage, and her seven-year-old fists were too weak to force him to do anything. Soon he had everything back in the backpack securely.

Light said, "Well, since the investigation has been compromised, we'll have to recruit secret agent Sayu to our side, but first we need to test her loyalty with a mission."

Sayu sat on the edge of her bed and clasped her hands in delight.

Light asked, "Sayu, can you keep quiet about agent Light's mission? If there are no leaks to Mom or Dad or anyone, then I'll make you a super secret spy and we can be on the same team when we play tomorrow."

Sayu said, "Yes!"

"So, if anyone asks, you'll say you think I'm in my room? And I shouldn't be disturbed or I might stop getting such excellent grades?"

Sayu made a complex motion over her chest with one hand and said, "Cross my heart and hope to die!"

Light couldn't help a smirk from coming onto his face. It was possible that would be required of her. However, Light was sure he was smart enough that he could probably control her with lies, so she wouldn't have to die. If too many people near him died, L might catch on, L might realize that Kira could kill with methods other than heart failure.

"Okay, then," Light said, and with that Sayu didn't oppose him any more. She went downstairs placidly and settled on the couch for Misa Amane's duet with Hideki Ryuga while Light slipped out the door.

Ryuk met Light in the yard and said, "Can Sayu see me now?"

Light said, "I'm almost completely certain of it."

"You know," Ryuk said, "I'm not going to keep staying where she won't see me. I'm going to be hanging around your house regardless of the threats you make."

Light said, "I've already thought of that. I just need you to not talk about the death note or killing people or me being Kira or anything like that in front of her. All I need is a good story to tell her about what you are, and even if she talks about you, she's seven and nobody else can see you, so they'll think it's an imaginary friend sort of thing and ignore it."

Ryuk said, "I can play along and avoid those topics in front of her if you feed me enough apples. But, what am I going to be?"

Light said, "It's only a couple of days past Christmas, so you'll be a Christmas angel."

"I'm a Christmas angel? I don't think I'm good-looking enough. Do you even know what an angel is, Light?"

"Yeah, like those ghostly guys who torment Scrooge on all those Christmas specials. They put them at the tops of holiday trees."

Ryuk muttered, "I think something was lost in translation when they put Japanese subtitles on those things. Well, what will my mission be? To reform Light Yagami from being a naughty boy to a good one?"

"Of course not. I'm perfect in every way. Your mission will be to spread the holiday cheer."

"Okay, I guess I can do that. So, I just talk about snow and presents and Santa a lot?"

Light sighed. "I guess that will do. I'll give you further instructions in private if I think you're not doing it well enough, but for a stupid little kid like Sayu, you don't have to do a very good job. We have some time now, so let me give you a few pointers to start with."

Light spent the entire walk to the bus stop talking about the sorts of things Ryuk should do and say around Sayu. Then, while on the bus, there were too many people around to hear, so Light fell silent. Ryuk then tried to make conversation on the short walk from the bus to the subway, but Light only gave terse replies during those times when he thought people couldn't hear.

Light took a very odd route through the underground complex of the subway station and the many little shops attached to it, so he was always moving in the blind spots of the cameras. He held himself as upright as he could, relying on his greater-than-average height and the hood obscuring his face to give the impression of someone at least a couple of years older, so that nobody would ask him if he'd been separated from his mommy.

Soon, Light had settled against the wall in one of the blind spots, and only had to check his watch periodically, waiting for the proper time. Sure enough, Raye Penber was entirely punctual, arriving exactly at the time Light had written in the death note. Light sidled up behind Raye, falling into step with him. Then Light went through the procedure he'd planned earlier, first making his claim of being Kira and following it by his threats and then killing one nearby guy to prove his power. Light made sure he spoke in a raspy voice, trying to sound gravelly and older.

Everything went as planned, and before long Light had managed to get Raye to kill all the other FBI agents, and Raye had taken the red curtains out of the plastic bag as instructed and left everything else behind in the envelope for Light to collect. Light took the envelope, checking the contents to be sure Raye hadn't disobeyed and kept any scrap of evidence for himself. Yes, everything was as it should be.

Light slipped out the subway doors and followed Raye at a short distance, keeping an eye on the security cameras and trying to always stay in their blind spots, waiting for the show. When Raye reached the right place, Light settled against a wall and grinned.

Ryuk said, "Whatcha doing, Light? I thought you were done with him."

Light said, "Well, if you don't read what I write in the death note, you'll be surprised like this. Just wait a few more seconds."

Raye had stopped in the very middle of a busy walkway, right in front of a security camera. He was blinking in confusion for a few moments, and then he suddenly dropped his laptop on the floor and shrugged out of his trench coat.

Raye yelled, "I'm Captain Underpants, and I will fight crime and save everyone who needs help!"

Some startled passersby stopped to stare, but most kept going. Then Raye stripped down to his underpants and tied the red curtains around his neck like a cape.

He said, "Captain Underpants is here to save the day! If you have seen any crimes, or if any disturbing characters have been hanging around in the subway, please tell me now and I'll help you! Don't be shy! I have the power of toilet paper!"

Ryuk said, "You wrote that he'd believe he's Captain Underpants?"

Light said, "Yes, and he's not doing a particularly good job of it, but this is acceptable. People will see they're not supposed to mess with Kira. Kira will mess them up."

Even more people were gathering around Raye Penber, all keeping their distance, forming a wide ring of spectators. A bunch of them were on cellphones, probably calling the police.

Ryuk said, "Light, if Raye acts like this, won't it be clear he was the one who was following Kira?"

"No," Light said, "all of the FBI agents will believe they're Captain Underpants before dying."

Raye Penber was striding forward, saying to a woman, "Ma'am, it looks like you have a pretty bad cast on your foot. Did a criminal do that to you? If so, Captain Underpants will catch him for you."

The woman hobbled back out of reach, an alarmed look on her face. Just then, Light caught the sight of several uniformed cops fighting through the crowd toward Raye.

Light checked his watch and said, "Just a few more seconds, and then it's time to go."

Before the first cop could reach Raye, Raye suddenly clutched his heart and fell to the ground, spasming in agony. That cop reached Raye a few moments later and, obviously considering it to be a fake stunt of some kind, tried to roughly pull Raye to his feet and said, "None of that. You're coming with me."

Light really wanted to see the cop's expression when he found he was handcuffing a dead body, but Light could see far too many additional cops flooding the scene. It was dangerous to linger. Light began slipping away, using the same erratic pattern to go from each security camera's blind spot to the next one. Just then, he felt a hand on his shoulder roughly spinning him around.

Light said, "Hey!" and looked up into the face of a very young cop.

The cop said, "Are you okay, kid? You're awfully anxious to get away without being seen. Did that pervert touch you? You don't have to be ashamed. It isn't your fault if you were molested. We can have a gentle, considerate police counselor take your statement, one who is sensitive and won't scare you or push you to tell your story too fast."

Light panicked. He couldn't be linked to this scene. It would be too suspicious. But, would the cop just let him go if he said he was okay, or would he want a statement anyway? No, wait, the cop had to die in any case. He'd remember Light's face.

Light put on a scared expression and said, "He said he was a cop too, but he... he..."

Light sobbed, then continued, "Are you a real cop? Can you show me your badge?"

The cop said, "Of course, kid."

Light took the held-out badge and looked at it carefully. Hirokazu Ukita.

Light said, "Is it okay if I write down your name, so if it's fake I can tell the real police? Otherwise, I'll be too scared to go with you."

"That's fine," Ukita said gently, "I won't hurt you. You need to feel secure."

Light smiled and slipped a piece of death note paper out of a pocket in his backpack, writing down:

Hirokazu Ukita accidental death

Immediately leaves the subway without taking anyone with him or ever talking to anyone about what he saw or heard there.

Gets hit by a car four days later and then dies from his injures at a hospital.

Light smiled at Ukita and put the paper back in his backpack.

To help wait out the forty seconds until the control from the instructions would take hold, Light said, "I feel so much better now that you let me write that down. The other man who said he was a cop wouldn't show me his badge. He said he thought I'd stolen something from one of the shops here, and he had to check underneath my clothing to make sure-"

Ukita suddenly got a blank look on his face and walked away.

Light smirked, then continued slipping from one blind spot to another until he had made his way completely out of the subway. As he walked from the subway station to the bus stop, he gloated, remembering Raye Penber's silly display. Yes, that's what happened to people who tried to stop Kira. Soon, very soon, L would be putting on his own crazy show himself before dying. Light considered his options for humiliating L, trying to think if there was something even worse than making people believe they'd turned into Captain Underpants.

Well, Light probably had at least a couple of weeks to think about that. There was no reason to rush it. Take it slow, brainstorm everything, and something would turn up.

A/N (Author's Note):

This fic is for Keelain, according to Keelain's plot suggestion.

Everyone in the cast is 7 years younger. This means Light is ten years old, L is seventeen, Sayu is seven, Soichiro is forty-one, Sachiko is thirty-four, Matsuda is eighteen and Ukita is nineteen. I think I figured out all the ages correctly, and if I made any mistakes, I apologize.
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A Paradise for Kids