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Where No One Knows	By : DarkHybridChild Category: +M to R > Megaman: NT Warrior Views: 1889 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Rockman.EXE/Megaman. I don't make money from this. Nothing is mine.

Chapter List
- 1-Where No One Knows
- 2-Chapter 2
- 1
- 2
Where No One Can See

By DarkHybridChild

Series: Rockman.EXE

Pairing: Egoshipping [LaikaxEnzan/EnzanxLaika]

DHC: A look at the softer side of Egoshipping and how fragile it can possibly be. I got my angst mojo back, so I decided it would be best to use it while I had it. xD Oh, and love me people, for I return to the EXE fandom! But ignoring that, let’s get on with the fic, shall we?

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Lay a whisper on my pillow

Leave the winter on the ground

I wake up lonely

This air of silence in the bedroom

And all around

Laika stared quietly out his frosty window, one hand was clutching at his other arm, silently hugging himself. He let out a heavy sigh, further fogging the window even more. His eyes were dulled, his body was shaking every so often from the cold seeping through his skin, all he was wearing was a sleeveless shirt and his pants. He would every so often nibble on his lower lip, the skin was so chewed down it was raw-looking and pink from the new-skin.

Searchman could only watch helplessly as his Operator berated and tortured himself inwardly over what had happened. He wished he could do something about it, but it wasn’t his place to interfere. Matters of the heart were often personal for humans and he knew his NetOp would only brush him aside if he tried. The human heart was fragile, and Laika had so desperately tried to cover his, but… All it took was a single kiss from a certain someone to have those barriers come shattering down.

Now, he was watching that heart crack and slowly break apart as he continued to witness his Operator’s silence and features twist every so often. He hadn’t moved from that spot by the window for four hours today, six the day before, and ten the day before that. It was saddening to him, to see the other in such a state of disarray.

Laika raised his free hand, placing it on the glass, not even flinching as the cold seeped through his hand. His eyes closed after another moment, fighting back the urge to sigh again. He had been stupid. He had foolishly let his emotions get in the way, and now he was left with the consequences. All because of him, Ijuuin Enzan. He had so foolishly fallen for the dual-haired teenager, had let himself grow attached and grow so fond of him… If only he had known…

Touch me now

I close my eyes and dream away…

Letting his hand fall away from the glass, palm now scarlet red from the cold, he hugged himself tighter as he stared past the frost to see the snow continuously falling towards the ground. How could one kiss have left him so fragile? How could a simple touch have his face heating up like a schoolgirl’s? And why did the other have to look at him with those eyes? He exhaled sharply, breaking his stare from the window as a sharp, stabbing pain laced through his chest.

He frowned darkly, almost wishing the other was here so he could hit him for making him feel this way. For everything he had done, made him feel, and the pain that was now coursing through him. He grit his teeth as he leaned further against the windowsill, forcing himself to still and watch the snow fall. If he was still, and kept his mind blank, then the pain would dull and he wouldn’t have to think. Thinking would only bring back the memories, memories that were still fresh in his subconscious; memories that if allowed to run rampant, would consume his heart all over again.

The ghosting of touches across his body, the soft whispers in his ear, and the kisses against his lips that was so dizzyingly addictive… He shook his head almost furiously, hissing lowly to himself. He was so foolish.

It must have been love

But it’s over now

It must’ve been good

But I lost it somehow

Love… He scoffed. He wasn’t in love, he refused to believe it. Love was something that only came to the fortunate; he had never been amongst those types. Types like Hikari, who radiated light and care; it was they who were rewarded with love. He had never given anyone a reason to love him. Nor did he plan to, after this. Not that he’d ever given any reason beforehand, either. But, yet…

Whatever piece of happiness he had gained, it slipped so easily between his fingers. To have it all in an instant, to achieve such euphoria, it was bound not to last but some part of him had silently wished it would. It had felt…so wonderful. Why did he always have to screw it all up? Never look a gift horse in the mouth, they always said. He should have taken the advice.

It must have been love

But it’s over now

From the moment we touched

Till the time had run out

But…the feelings the Ijuuin had evoked in him; the fire that had ran through his veins…he could still hear the soft whispers of passion if he let himself. His body shivered from the memories. Heat, smoldering heat; and the rush of adrenaline that accompanied it, he could still hear the way the Ijuuin gasped his name, feel the ache in the bruises that reminded him just how desperately the other had clutched at him as if he wanted to meld completely with him.

He knew he could never forget their time together try as he might. He could never purge the moment. The caresses, the almost shy-like responses he managed to bring out of the other male. That night had been so dreamlike. …If only dawn had never come to find them.

Make believing we’re together

That I’m sheltered by your heart

But in and outside I turn to water

Like a teardrop in your palm

His nails dug into his arm as he viciously blinked his eyes in a futile effort to clear away the stinging sensation in them. The sharpness of his nails digging into his arm was enough to distract him temporarily. He let out a shaky breath as he turned and leaned forward, letting his forehead rest against the glass, He flinched at the cold contact, but his flushed and overheated face relished the chill,

His heart clenched tightly again and it took all of his effort to calm the hard, deep boom of his heart. It felt as if it were taking all of his energy just to exist now. Dawn had come to force them to go separate ways. The Ijuuin coldly brushed him off as if nothing had happened, almost bitterly ordering him to leave. It was a slap to the face. He’d dressed, and left at all haste. He didn’t stay to say goodbye to Netto at the airport, he simply…left. Now, here he was back in Sharro, simply staring out his window. He hadn’t slept much, had barely eaten, he was living off of hot coffee; he didn’t even have the energy to go to work.

Searchman, out of desperation, had taken all of his and Laika’s days off to give his Operator the space to recover. His operator had dark circles under his eyes that stuck out like bruises on his pale visage. Laika pulled away from the window a fraction to stare back out at the snow building up on the ground. Today was one of the heavier days it snowed.

And it’s a hard winter’s day

I dream away…

Despite the heaviness of it, people were still bustling about outside, going back and forth from their daily lives. It ached, how he couldn’t even find the will or energy to go about his. It was so stupid. All over something so trivial… His eyes closed and another, but quieter sigh escaped. His lips moved to mouth some words, but his voice never rose to make a sound before his shoulders slumped forward and his forehead met the window once more.

Searchman frowned again as he watched his NetOp’s shoulders spasm and jerk occasionally, hearing the sharp inhalations and quick exhales, signifying his Operator’s relapse into memories and berating himself again and again. How he wished he could say or do something to help. It was so hard standing by to watch as his normally calm and collected friend come apart at the seams.

Laika let out the quietest of whimpers and it broke his digital-heart to hear it. It reminded him too much of when the other was younger and would sit on his bed and cry and all he could do then was watch. Eyes opening, the other turned so his cheek was pressed against the glass and he could see the streaks that littered his cheek showing the Navi just how broken up the other was.

It must have been love

But it’s over now

It was all that I wanted

Now I’m living without

Love. His Operator was in love. He didn’t care how much said Op denied it; he could see it plain as day. All the signs were there, the way the other had acted and reacted to the Ijuuin male, and even now, as he grieved in silence. He silently cursed, sighing himself. Why were humans so complicated? He could see it, that the other loved his Operator, too, so why had he pushed him away? He wanted to bang his head against the wall because all this was doing was giving him a headache.

Laika shook his head as he pulled away from the window again. He unwillingly pulled himself away from the sill as well as he turned and numbly let his body move towards the kitchen. His shaking hand went to the coffeepot before pouring the hot brew into the awaiting mug setting next to it before placing it back on its burner before picking up the mug and took a long sip of the concoction. Caffeine flooded into his system and alleviated some of the fatigue that rest inside of his body.

Leaning against the counter, his eyes went glossy as he took sip after sip of the brew. Ijuuin liked coffee, too… He could drink about four pots if Blues let him. His lips started to twitch, almost, but not quite smiling before they pursed into a straight line again as he tried to purge the detail from his mind. The comparisons only made it worse. He shook his head, his disheveled locks looking ragged as they swished from side to side.

It must have been love

But it’s over now

It’s where the water flows

It’s where the wind blows

Finishing his coffee, he set the mug back by the pot before turning and silently making his way down the hall of his apartment to the bathroom. He started the shower, turning the water to a near-scalding temperature before he stripped and climbed in. The heat met his cold body and he hissed, the friction of the elements colliding together. After another moment, he relaxed into the heat. It had almost been exactly like that with them. A collision. Friction. Heat and Ice colliding together to create a molecular explosion. He shivered.

He felt himself sliding to the bottom of the shower as the water pelted against his skin, turning it bright pink and red from how warm it was. He sighed and tried his best to let the water wash it away; to let is cleanse him, as if it could take every memory and feeling with the water down the drain. He wearily opened his eyes to stare at the fogged glass of the door. He raised one arm and placed his hand against the glass. When he drew away again, his handprint remained for a moment, before fogging over once more.

Closing his eyes again, he felt his fingers moving against the glass. He didn’t have to open his eyes to know what he wrote. Sighing, he slid his hand against the glass, effectively wiping away the Ijuuin’s name. If only it worked like that in real life… Sighing again, he stood up on shaking legs before beginning to wash. Once finished, he stepped out, reaching for a towel and began to dry himself off. The air around him felt that much colder due to the heat from the water.

Walking to his room, he got dressed, green sleeping pants and a white tank. He once again made his way back to the window, leaning against it and stared once more out at the snow--it had gotten just a little bit deeper outside in the short amount of time he was gone--sighing as the glass fogged over again at the heat his body gave off.

It must have been love

But it’s over now

It must’ve been good

But I lost it somehow

“Laika-san…” He sighed, wearily glancing over towards his computer screen where Searchman resided.

“Hai…?”

“Netto sent you an email…”

“Hai… Thank you, Searchman. I’ll read it later.” He answered softly, casting his eyes back to the window.

“As you wish, Laika-san…”

He didn’t even want to talk to Netto at this point. He wanted to distance himself as far as he could from anything concerning the Ijuuin and anything associated to him. He felt himself leaning into the window again, until his cheek pressed against it. The stinging in his eyes came back, but he stubbornly refused to give in.

He’d cried enough, he wasn’t going to waste anymore tears over him. Still…the pain that clenched his heart was so annoyingly powerful as if to remind him of his faults. He could idly see his reflection in the fog and was surprised at how different he looked now. He looked like he’d been dragged through hell and back. In a way, he supposed he had been. He’d been through an emotional rollercoaster and dumped out on his ass with only fading remnants of the rush and could only feel the hollow ache where he longed to do it again, and again.

It must have been love

But it’s over now

From the moment we touched

Till the time had run out

His skin tingled again from where the cold was once again seeping into his skin, making goosebumps appear only mimicking the feel the other had done to him with a simple touch; his heart ached to race once more, to feel the thrill of how the other had twisted and pushed against him, gasping and moaning out with every new sensation they experienced together.

His fingers clenched tightly as he struggled to get a hold of his thoughts and emotions once more. It was a mistake. An error, one that left him completely vulnerable. His other hand went up to clutch at the other side of his arm, hugging himself once more. He angrily brought his other hand up to flick away a single tear that dared to try and fall. His eyes went glossy as he tilted his head back to stare up at the cloudy sky and watch the snowflakes fall towards the ground. It looked so…light, how they just glided down. Almost like… He made an annoyed sound. Why did everything remind him of that moment? Why did his mind keep going back to it, replaying it so insistently inside of his head? His own heart and mind were against him.

He still refused to believe he was in love, no matter what his heart said. It was simply an infatuation, nothing more. But why did it hurt so badly, his mind kept asking. If it were just an infatuation, then he should have been able to just brush it aside. But it kept lingering and clawing at him like some annoying cold.

It must have been love

But it’s over now

It was all that I wanted

Now I’m living without

Searchman was biting his lip again, sighing inwardly.

“How is he…?” A quiet voice asked behind him.

He turned and smiled grimly, giving a weak shrug.

“He’s…hurting. He doesn’t want to work, only drinks coffee, barely sleeps, and stands by that window all day until he’s nearly frozen, then takes a hot shower and does it again.”

“Hn… Why must humans be so complicated? It’s not hard to see they’re both killing themselves, but they’re too stubborn to admit to one another they care.”

“I don’t know. I guess that’s what makes us different from them. We don’t have such limitations.”

“I guess so…”

“What about him?”

“He’s…actually…”

There was a whisper unable to be heard by anyone but the recipient.

Laika pulled a few inches away from the window and brought his hand up to place his hand against the frost, watching as the fog became twice as heavier as the heat from his hand sank into the glass. He pulled away a few moments later to watch almost childishly as his handprint quickly became fogged over once again, like in the shower. He wondered why the glass fogged up like that.

Of course, he knew the scientific reasons behind it, but he wondered how two polar opposite elements could produce the same effect. Once again, there was that heat and ice collision… Biting his lip, he tilted his head back to rest on the wall this time instead of the glass. He shifted his posture until his back was leaning against it as well, bringing his free hand up to rest on the juncture between his neck and shoulder, fingertips tracing over the healing scabs there, fleeting sensations of pain and pleasure lingering there at the memory.

It must have been love

But it’s over now

It’s where the water flows

It’s where the wind blows

His fingertips had danced across their skin, drawing out such passion-filled reactions, working the other higher and higher, drawing their voice into a crescendo of nothing but his name as he went; his lips had been everywhere, kissing and marking every patch of skin he could find, feeling the others hands clutching at him desperately in response.

Their bodies had moved so perfectly against one another, their fingers had clasped together as their hearts synched and their breathing went labored; their eyes had locked together and there had been so many things spoken in that instant. When Laika opened his eyes again, he found that he was on the floor, tears streaming down his face. He shakily brought his hand up to run through his still-damp locks of hair and tried his best to calm his racing heart and the ache that continued to eat at him.

His breathing was becoming labored and he clutched at himself tighter, bringing his legs up close to himself, trying to shelter himself away from the pain. He kept shaking his head, as if denying everything. Why did everything that happened, have to happen? He was so damn foolish… He struggled to stand and when he did he wiped away the tears and took as deep a breath as he could, forcing himself to calm down.

Before he could really do much more, a knock came to his door. He shuffled towards it, frowning in confusion and wondering who the hell would be here at twelve forty-seven in the morning. His shaking hand went to the knob and turned it, letting the door open. An unbidden gasp escaped from his lips and he nearly staggered backwards.

It must have been love

But it’s over now…

A near frozen Ijuuin Enzan was standing there, looking at him with dulled blue eyes.

“L-Laika…”

lyrics from It Must Have Been Love by Roxette
TBC

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DHC: Well, wasn’t that exciting? -shot- I feel rather accomplished considering I haven’t written much in the way of EXE for a long time. I can only hope this is worthy enough to be placed here in this category… -so self-conscious- So, um, hope to see you all in the next chapter!
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Where No One Knows