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The Cost of Regret	By : LotornoMiko Category: +S to Z > Voltron Views: 3415 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Voltron or the characters from it. I make no money off of the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Cost of Regret
- 2-Two
- 3-Three
- 4-Four
- 5-Five
- 6-Six
- 7-Seven
- 8-Eight
- 9-Nine
- 10-Ten
- 11-Eleven
- 12-Twelve
- 13-Thirteen
- 14-Fourteen
- 15-Fifteen
- 16-Sixteen
- 17-Seventeen
- 18-Eighteen
- 19-Nineteen
- 20-Twenty
- 21-Twenty One
- 1
- 2
Standard Disclaimer Time. I do not own Voltron, nor the characters of Lotor and Allura. That honor belongs to World Events Production. I make no money off this fic. It's purely done for entertainment purposes, and the fact I need a creative outlet for the ideas in my head.

Disclaimer two, this is not a very nice Lotor. He's been hurt and angry for a long time. I'm not even sure how to classify this story, if it deserves the romance category or not. It's very smutty though...^^;;

-Michelle

Blue eyes greet me, glittering with a look I've not often had the privilege of seeing before. Desperation suits you well Allura, that gleam of just barely held back panic. I haven't said a word to you, I've just only entered the room, but already you fear me. It is the fear that I will send you away before you get what you so desperately need. It's all I can do to hold back my smirk, keep my own eyes from showing the perverse satisfaction this situation gives me.

"It's been a while." I say out loud, my voice cool, distant. Too distant for your liking, but then you had to know this wouldn't be easy. I'm no longer in thrall to you, no longer so eager to do your bidding.

"Lotor..." You exhale a shaky breath, and with it seem to remember we are not friends. "Your highness..."

Titles keep us separate, help maintain the distance. A distance that you yourself once insisted upon. How excruciating it must be, to have the roles reversed. To know there is no warmth in my eyes for you.

"Queen Allura..." I give the slightest nod of acknowledgment. "I did not expect you to come to Doom." It is a lie I speak, for I knew you would come. I've left you no other choice. I've refused your calls, ignored your letters. The many petitions you've sent me? They've all been shredded, not even so much as a glance being spared their way. I've ignored you thoroughly, giving you a taste of what it's like to be denied something you so desperately need.

Just as you denied me that which I once needed. It is fitting that the roles are reversed, and you'll find I am no more merciful than you were, Allura. But unlike me, you weren't the only one to suffer for my disinterest. All of Arus has, your people starving, sick and dying. The death toll rises on that war stricken planet, with no Voltron to protect you. Once I would have gladly slipped into that role, would have played savior to you and your people in a heartbeat. But I am no longer a foolish, love sick prince.

The Lotor you once knew? The man who would have leapt to attention at the slightest snapping of your fingers? He is long gone. And only the King remains, the ruler of an Empire so vast it dwarfs you pitiable planet.

You and your world are beneath my notice. And that is something I've made you realize with my silence, my lack of interest in Arus' problems. It is what drives you, bringing you to make the perilous journey to my world. All on the hope that some remaining affection can be used against me, used to improve Arus' situation. I will not be so easily played, nor can you hope to manipulate me. Instead I will be the one to lay out the terms, and you will have little choice but to accept them if you want Arus' saved.

I know you Allura. You're still the same bleeding heart, the same earnest soul that works for the good of the people. The same woman that would starve herself if it meant a child could eat. Willing to do just about anything to help another, you've finally fallen enough to come crawling to me.

"I had to see you." Allura tells me. Her eyes stay on me, tracking my movements as I walk over to stand before a window. The view is different from what it once was, a thriving city built up around the castle that is my home. But I am not looking at the buildings, or the people that walk on the city's streets. Instead I am studying Allura's reflection, watching how she fidgets with her hands, betraying her nervousness. It bothers her that I make no response to her words, Allura chewing at her bottom lip.

"Why have you ignored me?" She asks, and even her voice sounds weak. Vulnerable. "Why have you refused my calls..?."

"I am a busy man, your highness." I tell her. "I simply do not have the time to speak with everyone who would call on the ruler of the Doom Empire." Her reflection seems to wince, and all because Allura remembers a time when I wouldn't have ignored her calls.

"What about the letters I sent? The official requests? Surely you had time to look them over..." But uncertainty is in her voice.

"I have." But she doesn't have time to be relieved. "My decision remains the same. Doom will no longer send aid to Arus."

"Why?" A single word, but all the hurt, bewilderment she feels is in it.

"It's got nothing to do with me." I sound unfeeling. "Or Doom."

"But..." She shakes her head no, looking as though she might cry. "Your highness, Arus needs that help. We need that money, and we need those soldiers. Without Voltron..."

"You're all but defenseless I know." I interrupt her. "But as Arus is now, it is a worthless planet. Far too in debt to ever repay the Empire for the aid we've given it in the past."

"We gave you Voltron." She points out. "Surely that..."

"Just how much worth do you put on that robot?" I demand harshly. "It's been ten years your highness. Ten years without a return on the Empire's investments. Voltron could only buy you so much help...without something of equal value, I'm sorry to say the Empire cannot help you."

"Lotor!" Again she breaks free of the distance our titles give us. "More of my people will die without your help...!"

"And I should care?" I ask. She twists her hands together, eyes looking very much like they will start to cry. I would relish those tears, savor her upset. Drive her further into the pits of desperation.

"You once would have." She finally says.

Once I would have done anything to please her. To win her. Even care about that pathetic planet, and it's people. I had been the desperate one, trying to get Allura to love me. To want me. Now Allura is the one who would do anything to go back to those days, to have me be the one to come begging at her door.

"I have become a practical man." I retort. "Show me there is still value in Arus, still a reason for the Empire to loan you money and ships and the soldiers to fly them. Give me a reason to help your world."

"It's the right thing to do."

"The right thing doesn't always benefit the Empire. The right thing won't bring a return on the Empire's investments, won't make up for the soldiers that might die fighting your wars. It won't give me a reason to explain to MY people why we waste time defending a world that is worthless."

"Lotor...please..." Her voice cracks on a sob. "I am begging you...Help Arus..." She is blinking rapidly, all in an effort to keep from crying.

"No." I start to say. "The Empire will not..."

"I am asking, begging YOU not the Empire...if...if ever I meant anything to you..."

"How terrible of you Allura. Trying to manipulate me." My tone is even colder now.

"My people are DYING. We don't even have the money to take care of ourselves. Please..." She takes a shuddering breath, head lowering. "I would do anything..." That word is laced with heavy meaning, but even then I do not pounce. I've waited ten years for this moment, a few minutes more won't hurt.

"Anything Lotor..." Allura continues, stressing the word. "Anything at all..."

"This meeting is over with." I say, turning away from the window. Her blue eyes look even darker, swelling with tears. It doesn't hurt me to see them, nor do I want to comfort her. I start moving forward, having to walk near to her to reach the room's door.

"Please..." Allura begs one more time, daring to reach for me with her hands. "I cannot go back to Arus without your promise to help us..."

I evade her touch but stop trying to go for the door. "And if I did help?" I ask. "If I lent you the money out of my own personal fortune, extended my hand rather than that of the Empire's?" She didn't so much as nod, just watching me with wet, desperate eyes. I knew that to Allura, it didn't matter where the money came from, just so long as she got it's promise. "What then?"

"Arus would be grateful..." She seemed to realize that wasn't enough. "I would be grateful."

"Gratitude is not enough." I inform her. "You will step down from your throne. You will give up control of Arus to me." I give her a bland smile. "I think we both can agree Arus will prosper far better under my guiding hand than yours."

She is ashamed then, Allura's cheeks turning red with embarrassment. But she can't deny that Arus has practically been ruined under her rule. For all her earnest attempts, Allura had never been able to get Arus out of it's financial slump through traditional means.

"I'll have my secretary prepare the paperwork." I continue, once again moving. I am almost out the door, when I pause. Acting as though the thought just occurred to me. "There is one more thing..."

She turns to look at me, so weary and defeated in the moment. "You will come to my bedroom this evening." I say it in such a way, there is no room for argument. Tonight will happen, and I will take the ultimate payment out of her body. Allura doesn't even try to protest, having known for a long time now that this was inevitable. But it doesn't stop her from crying once the door is closed, my sharp ears picking up the sounds of her sobs. I give in to my smirk then, leaning against the door. Wanting to laugh.

How long I have waited. The fall of Allura at long last at hand. It had taken a decade, ten long years. Ten years of remembering the day you rejected me, turned your back on everything I had offered you. It was the day I thought to myself how with these two hands I would destroy you, strip you of everything in my attempt to obtain you. You're not the Allura I once loved, you're someone different. Someone who is just as sweet to watch fall. I will catch you, but there will be no mercy in the saving.

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Ended up being more a Drabble than anything...^^''

To Be continued...

I feel like I have to write several things here. First...I started this before I started having medical problems (As of yet, they haven't figured out the cause) which makes it's difficult to sit in front of the computer. Between the pain and the stress, it's hard to write, especially smutty or romantic things. Ironically enough, when I sat down to write this, I was in a mood for smut and none of my work in progress stories were at a point where a sex scene could be written. (Or at least a consensual sex scene....)Now however, with my medical problem it kinda killed my mood to write such things. -_-

So as such, updates will probably be extremely slow. I've been trying to rewrite chapter seven. I didn't like my first attempts at seven, and am trying to rewrite it to my satisfaction. Of course I am also juggling another fandom, so that adds to the slowness of updates.

This is also, sorta as much a surprise to me as to the readers. I have no clear cut plans except for certain scenes not yet written. I've been letting the story and characters dictate how the story goes, and sometimes the characters do stuff that surpries ME. But it's a fun ride to watch how it develops from my initial inkling of an idea.

I don't see this as a particularly happy story. Nor do I know how it will end. Just to clarify, to me it's not a happy ending if Allura ends up with Lotor but spends the rest of her life miserable with him. Doesn't mean I won't write that kind of ending for a fic, just that I personally don't consider it a happy ending. That was part of the problem with Harem Slave. Some people wanted Lotor to have her at the cost of Allura's own happiness and well being, or so it seems....It felt like certain people were not caring at all about Allura's own feelings, it just mattered that Lotor won, and that he was happy....It's a tricky area, just like the issue of consent in this story. To some people it's not rape, to others they've told me it definitly counts as rape. I would mark this as dubious consent at best, but I didn't see a dubious consent category listed!

This is also a story where I try not to worry about the length of the chapters. They might be regular size for me (Somewhere between 3000-4000 words) or they might be kind of short. In my mind I've been calling this a drabble series. But then again Harem Slave started out as a drabble, and look how that exploded in size! *face palm*

So again...bear with me...with slow updates for this and all my stories. Much as I would like to be able to split into two or three people, I'm still only one person...and real life/health is interfering badly. T_T

Michelle
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The Cost of Regret