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Rubix Pube	By : NutMeg324 Category: +G to L > Hetalia: Axis Powers Views: 2065 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia nor the characters in it. I did not make money from the writing of this fic.

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It had been another G8 meeting, and even though watching America and Britain releasing sexual tensions was quite amusing, Canada was not a happy camper. Why is this? Well, nobody noticed poor little Canadia, which means that he didn't get to enjoy the pleasures of fucking any of the other countries. Watching Germany and Italy make out totally hard core while America and England “get it on” in the corner of the room turned him on, but after a while it gets boring. France never even stopped by to rape him! If only people would notice him better. “Maybe if I try to join America and Britain over there, everyone might notice me!” thought Canada. Then, the horny Canadian put on his birthday suit and strutted his stuff over to America and England's not so private sex corner. “Hey guys!” Canada said, trying to sound seductive. “Go away! Me and Britain are trying to fuck!” yelled America.

“Well I thought we could all fuck together.”

“No I would never fuck with you! You're my hat! Go away!” America said angrily. “You're hat, eh? You'd be surprised to hear the real deal...” Canada murmured to himself.

That night, while he was masturbating, Canada saw a shooting star in the sky outside his window. Canada wished that America would realize the truth: that he is Canada's pubes, and Canada isn't his hat. Canada looked down and realized that he had made quite the mess of his room. There was white stuff everywhere! “Well, since I'm done twiddling my stick I should really clean up this sticky mess I've made.” Canada said out loud to himself. But, before he got a chance to clean up the fresh semen that was on his bedroom floor, a hungry Kumajiro came in. Assuming it was donut glaze, the bear began licking the warm sperm off the ground. “DON'T EAT THAT!” Canada yelled, as he grabbed the polar bear up off the floor and locked him out of the room. After Canada cleaned up the mess, he went to sleep on his bed, which was still wet.

The next morning went as usual: Canada didn't wake up till 11:00 and woke up with a severe headache from all the weed he smoked the night before. But, as he walked to the kitchen to make pancakes, he felt strange. Something was different. His dick felt... heavier than usual. Even heavier than the times when he had a boner. He looked down at his crotch. “Wha-what! Th-that.. such a big b-BULGE!” Canada yelled.

“The best part of waking up.. is bulgers in your cup!”

“It sings?!” Canada was completely freaked out by the fact that his own penis was not just talking, but singing to him. “Wait a minute.. wasn't that voice...”

“Haha, yup! The hero's in your pants!” His penis was talking to him with his own brother's voice? What was this nightmare? Canada pulled down his pants and tore off his underwear. “WHAT THE HELL?!” Canada yelled. Where his dick was supposed to be, there was America's head! It was the weirdest thing he had ever laid eyes on. And America's neck was long enough that he could face forward, look up, look down, ect. “Hey bro~!” America said.

“Why is your head where my penis is supposed to be?” Canada asked.

“Well, last night I suddenly realized that you aren't my hat. I am your pubes. So when I saw a shooting star outside my window, I wished I could become the pubes. And that is how I ended up here, on you're crotch. Cool, isn't it?”

“It's NOT cool! How am I supposed to masturbate now?” America thought about it.

“I guess you can't. Wait a minute... I CAN'T FUCK BRITAIN ANYMORE! Dude this suck balls! Now what am I supposed to do?!” America said nervously.

“Oral.” Canada said. There was an awkward silence for about 10 seconds. “Dude no way we can't let Britain know that I'm you're pubes! He might tell people! Although, that does sound nice...”

“You're right America. If people find out about this rumors might spread. Plus, it would be really embarrassing.” Canada said.

“Um, Canada?”

“Yes, brother?”

“How are we going to hide the bulge the next time we have a G8 meeting?” The Canadian and the American bulge freaked out. They certainly haven't been in such a situation like this before. They agreed to spend the rest of the day trying to figure out how they were going to hide the bulge, and what they would do about no one, except Canada, ever seeing America again.

After about two hours, they figured they will just tell everyone that America died. They still didn't figure out how to hide the bulge.

After about a week of contemplating ways to hide the large bulge, America and Canada had came up with the perfect plan. Canada straightened his hair and trimmed it to look just like America's hair. Then, he cut his curl off and cut off America's Nantucket. He then hot glued the Nantucket to his head. Now he looked just like his brother. Or at least enough that no one else would notice the difference. Then tomorrow at the G8 meeting Canada can cover up the bulge with a long, very heavy jacket. It was the perfect idea.

When they woke up the next morning, they immediately got out of bed, got the heavy jacket on and headed out the door. They were certain that this would work. While they were in the car they made a promise that if America needed air he would bite Canada's leg. Then Canada will go to the bathroom to “air him out”.

Once they had made it to the meeting, every thing seemed to be going well. Everyone thought that Canada was America and no one noticed that Canada was “gone”.

“America, why are you wearing such a heavy coat? It's nearly 30 degrees outside!” Britain was being suspicious! Canada had to think of an excuse quickly.

“I guess it is a bit hot out, eh? I was a bit cold this morning for some reason heheh..” Canada said nervously.

“Hmmm... interesting..” Britain had a feeling that this wasn't America. There's no way that the real America would ever understand the weather in Celsius. “Is it me, or are your eyes a bit.. darker? Like a deeper shade of blue for some reason.”

“Oh it's just my.. um.. contacts! I started wearing contacts! I got ones that make my eyes darker. Aren't they cool?” Canada was so nervous and the worst thing was that he was sweating like a dog in that stupid coat he had to wear.

“So if you're wearing contacts, why are you still wearing your glasses?”Britain asked suspiciously.

“Oh crap, I forgot that I don't need them! Heheh, I'm so used to putting them on in the morning!”

“I see.. So are you going to take them off or what?” Britain knew this wasn't America. If it were the real America he would have been fucking him by now. “Oh.. uh.. yeah! I'm going to take them of now hahahahh...” Canada took off his glasses nervously. Great, now he could barely see.

“So... where's your brother.. um what's his name.. uh Canada?”

“You actually remembered me! I mean him.. heheh..! He had a terrible cold so he didn't come.” Canada said.

“Huh.. interesting.. so.. wanna fuck?” Britain knew that if this was an imposter than he would say no.

“No I can't..”

“Why not?”

“Well.. um.. I uh... I got my period!” Okay, Canada and America were officially screwed.

“Oh.. I.. I see. I guess it's not just women who get that... hmmm.” Then Britain suddenly walked out the door of the meeting room and into the bathroom. Canada was somewhat relieved, and decided to go sit down. He almost sat in his usual seat until he remembered that he is supposed to be America. It was weird sitting at the head of the table while everyone was staring at him. He had no idea what to say or do, so he just tried his best to act like America. “Hey guys heheh... I'm the hero!” Act natural, thought Canada, They'll never know. “So.. how are you guys today?” No one answered. They just looked at him funny.

“Why are you wearing such a heavy jacket?” asked Russia.

“Oh.. um.. it's national wear a heavy coat day!”

“That's a rather weird holiday.” said Germany.

“Yeah.. well.. there are some very weird holidays at my house haha..”

“Ugh It's getting hot up in this joint!” yelled America. Everyone looked at Canada's crotch.

“Did his pee pee just talk?” asked Italy.

“That was very odd..” said Japan. All of a sudden Canada's pants unzippered themselves and out popped America's head.

“Why would you do that?! Now everyone knows the truth!” Canada yelled.

“Dude I have been biting you for the past 10 minutes! I couldn't breathe!”

“Well I couldn't go to the bathroom because Britain was in there!” Everyone else in the room was completely shocked. Then, Britain ran in the room.

“See! I knew men couldn't get their period! That there is Canada in disguise as America! All along he was hiding that America is his own PUBIC HAIR!” yelled Britain. Then everyone got up and ran over to Canada to observe his all-American crotch.

“It's so cool!” yelled Italy.

“Yes, very cool.” said Japan.

“Hon hon hon! I think this calls for some fun mon ami~!” Everyone looked at France. Then, everybody took off their pants and began to rape Canada, while Britain stuck his cock in America's mouth. Canada was truly happy. Not only was he raped by France but he was being raped by the whole G8 gang! His dream finally came true. Maybe having America as his pubes wasn't as bad as he thought.

The End

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