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Secret Smile	By : corsochan Category: +. to F > D. Gray Man Views: 2314 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man! I will make no money from this fanfic! Meh So Sad!

Chapter List
- 1-Secret Smile
- 2-Chapter 4
- 1
- 2
Author: HatefulRodeo

Story: Secret Smile

Notes: My first foray into D. Gray-Man. This is AU, characters may be a bit OOC and the story will contain Yaoi. Will be a two-shot or three-shot. Enjoy Lovelies!

~~~~~~~***********Chapter 1*********~~~~~~~~

Komui swept the soft dark hair away from a smooth porcelain brow; the Chief Officer just stared at one of the only people in this world that he loved with his whole heart.

Leaning forward he pressed a gentle kiss to the silky skin on their forehead, trying to convey all Kumui's love into a simple press of his lips to their warm skin.

Hearing someone entering the hospital ward, Komui stood and grabbed the chart at the end of the bed; looking as if he was just reviewing the information, not hovering like an overprotective mother hen.

Komui turned when he heard a throat clearing, and his eyes came to rest on his second in command, Reever. "What can I do for you Reever? Has something happened?"

Reever just shook his head, smiling slightly and giving Komui a knowing look; "Nah Chief. Just wanted to see how Kanda was recovering is all. How soon will he be up and raising hell again?"

Komui couldn't stop the chuckle that left his mouth at the truth of Reever's words. Yes, Kanda Yuu was a hellion, difficult to handle and sometimes downright mean, but to Komui the Japanese swordsman was perfect, an angel in the usually dark world of The Black Order.

Komui knew he would never have Kanda as his own; he was a rational man who knew his own worth. There was no way that someone as strong and gorgeous as Kanda would want a crazy science nerd like Komui.

It was the truth; it did hurt Komui to admit it to himself, but he had accepted it and just enjoyed whenever he caught a glimpse of Kanda training or walking around The Order. For heaven's sake he couldn't even refer to Kanda by his given name of Yuu in his head! He could never actually muster up the courage to confess his feelings.

Sighing he turned back to Reever; "Kanda will be up and about by tomorrow afternoon but knowing Kanda he will be forcing his way out of the infirmary by morning." Reever just nodded before bidding his boss goodbye and leaving the ward.

Komui let his eyes fall back to the prone form of Kanda, taking in the sight if the unconscious swordsman. Gods, Kanda was handsome; tall with a slim but strong build. Long dark hair that shone almost blue in the light. Smooth porcelain skin and a face that looked like it was carved from marble. Kanda was a god to the lonely scientist.

Shaking his head, placing the medical chart back into the rack at the bottom of the bed before looking one more time at the object of his unknown affections; "I love you Kanda Yuu." Komui quickly left a small secret smile on his lips.

Komui, however, never saw the dark eyes of one Kanda Yuu fly open in shock at what Komui had just confessed to him.

Komui just made his way toward his office, totally oblivious to the bombshell he'd just dropped on a certain Japanese man, thoughts of said Japanese man running through his genius mind. No one had a clue about his secret crush on the surly Japanese man, Reever sometimes let on that he had suspicions, and Komui planned on keeping it that way. His passion for the Japanese man could never be known.

Komui didn't think he could handle the rejection if Kanda knew of his feelings and didn't return them. He would just let people keep thinking he was an insanely over protective big brother with a massive sister complex. Half of that accusation was true; Komui was extremely protective of the ones he cared for.

Lanalee was the only family he had left in this world; he would do anything in his power to make sure she was alive and well. The same could be said with Kanda, though he couldn't express it the same way he did with Lanalee; Komui valued his life.

While he could make sure Lanalee was protected and safe by giving her missions he knew she could handle or assigning her the proper backup. Komui had no such sway over Kanda; if he tried to assign Kanda an easy mission or unnecessary backup the Japanese exorcist would try to run him through with Mugen.

Komui just had to sit on the edge of his seat until Kanda came back from his missions, usually with several severe injuries that landed him into the hospital ward for a day or two while his tattoo healed him.

These were the hardest times for the Chief Officer, watching his love laying there helpless while he healed, not being able to do a damn thing to help Kanda. Komui really was a love sick fool!

Sometimes he wondered if he should just try to get over the impatient, foul-mouthed man, but then he would see Kanda and all the feelings would come rushing back to him. No, Komui was doomed to unrequited love and sexual frustration.

Sitting down heavily and pulling one of the many reports in front of him, Komui tried to focus on the report on the recent mission Lavi and Allen had returned from, and the innocence they'd successfully recovered.

Within five minutes Komui sleeping deeply, mumbling nonsense, on the top of his desk.

Next chapter we will get some Kanda/Komui interaction. : )

All Mistakes Are My Own!

�@

Author: HatefulRodeo

Story: Secret Smile

Notes: This chapter will be in Kanda's POV. Sorry there will be no interaction yet between them this chapter, Sorry! I know this is a random and odd pairing but I like them together for some reason. Enjoy Lovelies!

Previously:

Sometimes he wondered if he should just try to get over the impatient, foul-mouthed man, but then he would see Kanda and all the feelings would come rushing back to him. No, Komui was doomed to unrequited love and sexual frustration.

Sitting down heavily and pulling one of the many reports in front of him, Komui tried to focus on the report on the recent mission Lavi and Allen had returned from, and the innocence they'd successfully recovered.

Within five minutes Komui sleeping deeply, mumbling nonsense, on the top of his desk.

~~~~~~~~**********Chapter 2*********~~~~~~~~

Kanda Yuu was feeling confused and off balance; like the whole fucking world had just been turned upside down and shaken. Komui loved him?! His insane, coffee chugging boss loved him? It was unbelievable to the nineteen year old exorcist.

Kanda suddenly wished he had never woken up when he felt something pressing on his forehead. If he had not woken he wouldn't have heard Komui's confession, and his life would still be peaceful; well as peaceful as an exorcist's life ever was.

Glaring murderously at the hospital's white ceiling the emotionally stunted man realized something a bit disturbing; he was angry about feeling confused, and off balance by the way Komui's words made him feel.

Many at the Black Order could tell you that Kanda was not an emotionally in touch man. No, Kanda had a few common emotions; indifference, calm, scorn, irritation, anger and rage to name the most usually felt by the easily irritated swordsman.

Feeling love or affection toward or for another human being was about as foreign a concept to Kanda as him cutting his hair. It was insane, and up until about twenty minutes ago he would have said it was never going to happen. However, the Japanese swordsman couldn't deny that Komui's words did make his chest feel warm.

Kanda thought it might be heartburn, or some other equally annoying ailment. Then realized he was trying to deny what he was feeling, and he was not a coward! No, he would face this just like he did everything that crossed him; head on with no fear before he either let it live or destroyed it preferably by slicing it to little pieces with Mugen.

So Komui loved him, Kanda was still unsure how that was possible. Kanda had never been particularly nice or hell even civil towards his Chief. But then again he hadn't been as cold as he could be, so maybe it was a sign that for some reason Kanda didn't want to hurt the Chinese man's feelings.

It was possible Kanda did not do sweet and fluffy. Nope, you could guess where you stood in Kanda's life by his actions. So apparently if he looked at his own actions he tolerated and maybe even could grudgingly admit that he liked Komui.

Now that he had identified what he felt for Komui, he could move on to why it was that Komui was confessing to him when he thought he was unconscious, and unable to hear or respond to him.

Kanda felt the answer hit him with the force of a slap to the face. Of course Komui would never confess to Kanda when he was awake. The older man was probably terrified that Kanda would react badly or not react at all. Nodding, Kanda could understand Komui's reluctance to tell him his feelings.

Feeling frustrated the Japanese man shifted, stood up, and began pacing in his little screened in cubicle. Should he confront Komui about what he said? No, Kanda didn't know what he wanted to do about Komui's feeling of love for him. Did he return them? Did he want a relationship with the older Chinese man? Was he even gay?

Too many questions had Kanda pinching the bridge of his nose, and breathing deeply, trying to re-center his thoughts. One questions at a time. Kanda started with the easiest to answer; was he gay?

Kanda had never really given his sexual orientation a thought; he was made to kill Akuma for the Black Order not fall in love, and have sex. Thinking back on every interaction he has had over the years with both males and females Kanda came to his conclusion.

It seemed he was attracted to both men and women; it was more of the look they had about them. Kanda seemed to prefer dark hair, light skin tone, and dark eyes; all of which seemed to work in Komui's favor.

With one issue down Kanda moved onto the next one; did he return Komui's feelings? Well he didn't not return them. The problem was Kanda was not familiar with warm fuzzy emotions so he wasn't exactly sure how to proceed in this.

He knew he didn't hate Komui or mind being around him when he wasn't screeching over Lanalee, or unleashing a new and improved Sir Tomlin on them. But then again Kanda always did love destroying the destructive robot so he appreciated Komui for giving him a reason to dismantle something with Mugen.

In all Kanda could say he liked Komui, but he wasn't sure how at the moment. Were his feelings toward Komui like those you have for a friend or those you have for a lover? The Japanese man didn't know the answer having never really felt either of those feelings.

Fuck! He was so screwed! Breathing deeply once again Kanda made his decision; he would roll with it. See what happened when he saw Komui or spoke to him. That was the best he could do at the moment. It would be a sort of experiment in emotions for the Japanese man.

Kanda moved onto the last and most important question to him; did Kanda want a relationship with Komui? He knew that just because you have feelings for someone didn't mean you had a relationship with them.

And being with Komui wasn't going to be easy. They worked for the Black Order, an Order that tended to look down harshly on relationships between exorcists. The bosses at Central would flip a fucking lid if they found out about a relationship between one of their Chiefs and an exorcist, no matter how high ranked the exorcist was.

Kanda stopped; when the hell had he given a damn about Central and what they thought? Che, Never. Kanda knew Komui wasn't a fan of their overseers either. Kanda wasn't too worried about Komui backing out due to the possibility that they would be breaking protocol, and could be punished.

Kami-Sama this was hard! Even if Kanda wanted to begin a tentative relationship with Komui did he want people to know? Well that was easy they couldn't know due to the chance that Central found out.

Strangely keeping this possible relationship a secret didn't bother Kanda in the least. He had always been a private person. He despised nosy people who didn't know how to mind their own damn business.

Kanda stopped pacing, and sat back down on his bed; so it seemed he made his decision. He would watch how he felt and reacted when interacting with his Chief Officer. If his reactions and feelings were favorable Kanda would move forward and confront Komui about his confession of love made to Kanda in his hospital room.

Kanda felt better, calmer than he had been when Komui left him. He now had a solid plan and course of action to move forward with. This was just like any other training mission; identify, observe, plan, execute. That the exercise was an emotional one was irrelevant and disregarded by Kanda.

Lying back down in his bed Kanda closed his eyes, and willed himself to go back to sleep. His body still wasn't one hundred percent healed and all the pacing hadn't helped the still healing gash in his thigh.

Kanda's last thoughts were that someone loved him, someone cared for him, and that unfamiliar warmth returned to the cold man's chest, bringing a small secret smile onto his plump rosy lips.

Remember this is AU and they are both OOC. I hope you all enjoyed it and slash will occur in the next and final chapter.

All Mistakes Are My Own!

�@

Author: HatefulRodeo

Story: Secret Smile

Notes: This chapter will be in our adorably smitten Komui's POV. Enjoy the slash Lovelies!

Previously:

Kanda felt better, calmer than he had been when Komui left him. He now had a solid plan and course of action to move forward with. This was just like any other training mission; identify, observe, plan, execute. That the exercise was an emotional one was irrelevant and disregarded by Kanda.

Lying back down in his bed Kanda closed his eyes, and willed himself to go back to sleep. His body still wasn't one hundred percent healed and all the pacing hadn't helped the still healing gash in his thigh.

Kanda's last thoughts were that someone loved him, someone cared for him, and that unfamiliar warmth returned to the cold man's chest, bringing a small secret smile onto his plump rosy lips.

~~~~~~~~~**********Chapter 3********~~~~~~~~~

Komui Lee was confused, and a little unsettled; the last week had been one of the weirdest he had enjoyed since he joined the Black Order, and that in itself was saying something.

For some reason Kanda kept staring at him, as if he was examining him for something, when he came in to request a mission or in the dining hall whenever they crossed paths while eating. It was odd since Kanda had never paid attention to Komui in the slightest of ways before.

Komui wondered if he had done something to upset the other man, but pushed that thought away quickly, Kanda Yuu was not one to let anyone get away with disrespecting him, whether it was an intentional or an imagined slight.

Komui had no doubt that if he had inadvertently pissed off Kanda he would be the first to know. Komui would probably be informed in quite a painful manner involving Mugen, filled with foul language, exactly what he had done to offend Kanda's pride.

Komui had caught something unreadable in the younger man's dark eyes when their gazes met on occasion, and for the life of him he couldn't figure out what it meant. Komui thought it was mixture between frustration and confusion; on the whole Kanda looked like he was suffering from indigestion and a headache.

The other weird behavior Kanda was undertaking around him was to stand closer to him, invading his personal space whenever they had the occasion to be in the same room and speaking to one another.

Komui was not complaining in the least, but it was getting very difficult not to touch the younger man when he stood so close; the delicious scent of the younger man wafting into his nostrils. Kanda smelled of sandalwood, green tea and earth, the pleasing aroma setting Komui's blood to boiling and his cock to twitch in desperate interest.

Gods Komui wanted to bury his face into the crook of that slim, swan like neck, nuzzle, and nip at the soft silken flesh he found there. Komui was a man in control of his urges, but this torture Kanda seemed to unknowingly be subjecting him to was driving him mad, and pushing him to his limit.

Snapping out of his thoughts by the sound of his office door closing Komui glanced up to see the object of his current thoughts, frustrations, and many a wet dream standing right in front of his desk.

Kanda wore an unsure expression on his face, and Komui absently thought he looked a bit nervous. Komui looked expectantly at the younger man, smiling to let Kanda know he was listening and he could speak. After a two solid minutes of staring Komui cut to the chase seeing as Kanda seemed to be at a loss for words.

"What can I do for you, Kanda? I told you yesterday that no mission requests have come in from Central. The Earl had been quiet lately, just enjoy the down time." Thinking that was it Komui put his head back down to continue working or to continue looking like he was working; Komui didn't have time to ponder such things.

"You said you loved me. When you thought I was sleeping in the hospital a week ago." Komui's head snapped up so fast he really thought he might have pulled something. The Chief Officer just stared at the Japanese exorcist in front of him with wide shocked eyes.

Millions of thoughts were running through Komui's genius mind, but what came out was less than smooth or suave. "What? I don't have any...no you must have misheard..." Komui could only continue to stutter, for the love of it all he sounded like a shy fifteen year old boy!

Yes, he always imagined himself confessing to Kanda and then crushing their mouths together in a fevered kiss, but now that the man was in front of him Komui felt his courage shrivel.

"I heard you Komui. You said you loved me. Did you mean it?" Komui just stared, totally gob smacked at Kanda. After an undeterminable amount of time he gathered his resolve and spoke in a confident tone of voice; "I did, but why do you care? Are you saying you care for me too?" Komui looked at the man standing in front of him, and he knew hope was shining in his cocoa colored eyes.

Kanda grimaced at Komui's words before huffing in annoyance. "Che, I don't hate you." Komui took these words as a confession of Kanda's feelings for him and an acceptance of Komui's feelings; well as close to a confession or acceptance as Kanda was probably ever going to give him.

Feeling almost giddy the Chinese man stood, making his way over to the stubborn Japanese swordsman, and tentatively pressed his thin lips to Kanda's , no Yuu's full ones. Praying that Yuu would respond favorably, and if he didn't respond, or like what Komui was doing he didn't try to stab him with Mugen.

To Komui's immense relief and utter delight Yuu pressed his lips back tentatively. Taking this as a sign to continue Komui slipped his tongue out, swiping it along the seam of the smaller man's lips, asking for entrance to the mouth he had dreamed about ravaging for so long.

After a moment Yuu slowly opened his beautiful lips, allowing Komui to taste heaven for the first time; his lover tasted like soba, green tea and something he couldn't describe but seemed to be Yuu's own unique flavor. It was a divine taste and the scientist wanted more of it; feeling drunk off the knowledge that he was finally kissing and savoring the taste of the man he had lusted over for almost eight months.

Bringing his hand to the back of the smooth column of his lover's neck, Komui grasped on, tilting Yuu's head to a better angle for him to continue exploring the younger man's orifice. Kanda brought his hands unsurely to rest on Komui's broad shoulders, shyly grabbing on.

Komui explored, mapped and tasted every inch of Kanda's delectable mouth, savoring it like a man condemned to death would enjoy his last meal. It was everything the older man could have ever hoped to ask for. All too soon they had to part for air; looking at his younger partner Komui didn't think he had ever seen anything so beautiful in his life.

Yuu was breathing heavily, his cheeks flushed, lips bruised, and his eyes had darkened with lust making them look black. Komui felt smug that his ministrations had caused Kanda to look so debauched.

Pressing his luck further Komui brought his lips to the younger man's neck, pressing soft kisses and nips to the soft flesh, as he made his way down to where he lover's neck met his shoulder. Komui couldn't resist and bit down a hard, delighting in the low moan that left Yuu's pouty lips.

Yuu wrapped his lightly muscled arms tightly around Komui's neck, and tilted his head to the side, granting Komui more room to nip and worry his pale flesh. Yuu was moaning softly in pleasure, each sound going straight to the older man's already hard cock.

Wanting to hear more of his new lover's addictive sounds, Komui pulled back causing Yuu's arms to slip from around his neck and pulled off the training shirt the smaller man was wearing. He stepped away so he could feast on the expanse of alabaster skin now exposed to his greedy eyes. God, Yuu was exquisite!

The younger man was deceptively lithe, but you could see the muscles rippling under the supple skin. Pert, pink nipples were erect and hard begging Komui to tweak and pinch them.

Yuu's stomach was flat but toned with an almost feminine curve to his slim hips. Add all these things together to the Japanese man's gorgeous face framed by strands of thick black hair, and Komui thought he was staring at an angel.

Maybe he wasn't, but for Komui Yuu was his angel; something so beautiful, and pure that someone like Komui shouldn't be able to touch him, but here he was caressing this ethereally beautiful man, and he would rather be damned than stop now.

Crushing their lips back together, Komui slipped his tongue into Yuu's willing mouth while his hands glided across the smooth surface of Kanda's chest, stopping to pinch and massage his lover's nipples. Komui devoured every sensual noise Yuu made as he continued to ravage his lover's sweet mouth.

Kanda's arms again slid around the taller man's neck, pulling Komui's larger body against his and when their groins met both men moaned at the sensation. Komui smiled against Yuu's lips, relishing in the thought that his lover was just as pleased and turned on as he was.

Komui's large hands moved to Kanda's hips, holding them as he thrust his cloth covered erection against Kanda's equally hard length. Kanda broke the kiss, letting his head fall forward onto the older man's shoulder.

Komui continued to rut against the younger man, their breathing becoming louder and harsher as they careened toward their mutual release. He brought his head down to nuzzle his nose into Kanda's soft hair that was still gathered in its customary high ponytail, inhaling Yuu's distinct scent.

Komui was soaring in the ecstasy of having Kanda in his arms, so responsive to his actions; he didn't know how much longer he could last but he was determined to bring his younger lover to orgasm before he reached his peak.

He groaned in pleasure when Yuu thrust his hips slowly but with increasing speed and force against his own pistoning hips, causing the delightful friction to increase against their straining lengths. Komui could feel the slick wetness of pre-cum dribbling down his length, his balls began to tightening as his released loomed over him.

Grasping the younger's hips until it must have been painful Komui spun them both around, and walked them backward until he felt Yuu's back bump into his desk. Papers fell to the ground as Komui pressed his hips harder into the cradle of Yuu's, causing the desk to move back an inch under the force of Komui's thrusts.

Yuu still had his head buried in Komui's shoulder, and the older found himself wanting to watch his new lover surrender to his release, to watch that breathtaking face contort in euphoria.

Komui brought his nose down to Kanda's chin and nudged it until the younger man shyly met his eyes; lust blown cocoa eyes met almost black pleasure filled orbs. Something came over Komui and in a voice that dripped with authority and command Komui spoke lowly; "Cum for me Yuu. I want to see you cum for me."

That seemed to be Yuu's undoing, the usually cold man let his head fell back, his arms tightening around Komui's neck, as a loud moan escaped his pink lips. Yuu's shapely hips thrust forward hard once more; Komui held his younger lover against him tightly, the slim body freezing in his arms before Yuu began to shudder as his orgasm crashed over him.

Komui couldn't stop himself from cumming if he wanted to, that look on Yuu's face as he came was too much for the already painfully hard and aroused man. With a growl of "Yuu" through clenched teeth Komui smashed his still covered cock against Yuu's hip once more, as rope after rope of his creamy seed erupted from his slit, staining his boxers.

They both continued to thrust lightly against the other, the residual tremors of their powerful orgasms continued to ripple through them. Komui stilled his hips, bringing his one large hand to wrap around Kanda's slim waist while the other grasped his lover's chiseled jaw, lifting his head from where it was resting on Komui's strong shoulder.

When their sated, soft eyes met each other's Komui spoke the words he wanted to for so long; "I love you Kanda Yuu." The man in his arms smiled a small smile before mumbling something like "I love you too"; Komui didn't care though he knew Yuu cared for him.

Komui was sure of that fact; the man in his arms wouldn't have done what they had just gotten finished doing with just anyone. The fact that he had chosen Komui; that the beautiful exorcist even had feelings for him, the quirky scientist, was still baffling to the older man. But Komui was a smart man and knew when to shut his mouth and be thankful.

Letting his mind rest, while ignoring the drying cum in his underwear, Komui brought his swollen red lips to Yuu's equally bruised ones and placed a soft kiss to his new lover's mouth. This kiss wasn't rushed or filled with raw passion; it was sweet and gentle, Komui poured every emotion of care he had for Yuu into their meeting of lips and tongue.

He smiled into the kiss when Yuu reciprocated with equal fervor, seemingly trying to convey his feelings with his actions, since the Japanese man had never favored words to get his point across. Komui accepted his lover's show of emotions with open arms.

Komui should have known this moment couldn't last as a knock sounded at his office door, the knob rattling as someone tried to open the locked door. "Brother?! Are you in there? I have your coffee." Komui pulled away from Yuu's warm body grudgingly.

He caught a look of displeasure cross Yuu's face before the stoic mask slipped back into place. Komui darted around straightening and picking up the fallen reports from the floor, while calling to Lanalee to give him a minute.

Yuu for his part had already redressed himself and sat down on the sofa with a grimace, Komui could only guess the now dry cum was stiff and chaffing against Yuu's sensitive skin. Komui himself was in the same boat of discomfort and just wanted Lanalee to drop off his coffee so he could go, and change into new boxers.

When the room was finally back to its normal state of controlled chaos Komui walked to the door and opened it to see his adorable little sister standing their looking worried. "Brother is everything okay? Your door was locked and it took you awhile to answer."

Komui couldn't help but smile at his sister's concern for him, no matter how misplaced it was. "I'm fine my gorgeous, sweet Lanalee. Kanda and I were just meeting in regards to the report he submitted from his last mission. Apparently Central had some questions on it. I locked the door so we weren't interrupted."

Lanalee seemed to buy his excuse; it was plausible, as she walked in and set his customary blue mug down on his desk. Yuu seemed to be fighting a blush when Lanalee leaned up against Komui's desk, in the same spot he had just been pressed against while they frotted against each other not ten minutes earlier.

Lanalee smiled at Yuu; "Kanda, I haven't seen you in ages! Do you want to go and have dinner with me?" Komui could tell his lover wanted to do no such thing but seemed to give in, and stood while nodding his ascent to Lanalee's request.

Komui couldn't blame Yuu for caving to his baby sister. Lanalee generally got what she wanted, and it was easier to just give in sometimes instead of dealing with her displeasure at being denied.

Komui watched as Yuu made his way out of the office and had to fight not to move forward to embrace the younger man. Yuu stopped at the door and turned his head slightly so Komui could see his profile; "This isn't over Komui."

Komui's heart sped up as his cock twitched at the dark promise in those lowly spoken words. "I didn't dream to think it was, Yuu." At the use of his given name Yuu blushed lightly, probably remembering what they had just done, before moving quickly out of his boss' office.

Smiling happily Komui made his way to his quarters to get out of his sticky, stiff boxers and into a hot shower. This by far was one of the best days of Komui's life! Yes, they would have to be discreet with their involvement but Komui could live with the secret smiles and covert touches; as long as he got to kiss, hold and caress Yuu in private he could endure pretty much anything.

Yes, we have slash but there will be a chapter four coming. Three chapters just couldn't cover everything I wanted to include in this fic, and make it flow smoothly and believably.

I hope you all have enjoyed the story so far!

All Mistakes Are My Own!
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Secret Smile