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Reassurance	By : Thespangerarmada Category: +. to F > Attack on Titan /Shingeki No Kyojin Views: 1850 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin. No money/profit is made from this fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 1-Reassurance
- 1
Bertholdt hesitated before the door of his partner, Reiner’s room. It was a big mansion and though the Corporal had demanded that they clean every bit of it, he still wouldn’t have had a clue if it wasn’t for saying good night to the blonde at night with a small nod as he walked him back, and a slight smile. There were other things too, if anyone had cared to really look. The occasional, ‘accidental’ touch of their hands, times they walked a little too close and even….when no one was around, a few whispered words of goodnight…but that was all, lately. They had spent all day playing chess, and while he enjoyed the game, Bertholdt was beginning to worry. Reiner seemed to focus on being everyone’s comrade and big brother,(more than he felt, even, that Reiner should remember that they shared something, at least once that was more than a small touch…) even when he walked him back to his room, sometimes all the other could seem to talk about was the future…but it was a future that the brunette couldn’t smile about, even when it was all he wanted to do, especially for Reiner.
Finally, gathering up the courage, he knocked. Gently, of course. He didn’t want to alert anyone else, even if he was certain no one would hear, or very few would care if they did. But then again he wasn’t certain…anyone could be spying on them…but only if they gave them a reason to. “…..” He waited. And when there was no response and he went to knock again, Bert nearly jumped as Reiner rounded the corner, hair wet and holding a towel from the showers. The two stared at each other for a moment before Reiner closed the distance, bare feet barely making any noise on the ground as he stood before his comrade. “Bert?”
“S..sorry. I thought you were inside.”
“It’s alright. I thought you were bunking with Jean? Where’s Connie?”
“I asked Connie to trade for the night…I don’t think the Corporal would find it suspicious...” He said, voice low. There was no reason for him to be, after all.
“What about Jean?” Reiner seemed to tease a moment, politely pushing past Bertholdt to open his door, and he stepped inside, holding the door open to the other. “Won’t he wonder where you went?”
“…Doesn’t matter…Connie will say something…” Bertholdt said quietly as he stood at the doorway, hesitating to go inside, and only when Reiner raised his eyebrow in question, Bert nodded with an inaudible sigh and stepped in. Reiner and Connie’s room was like his and Jean’s…two soldiers per room to save space, and two single, simple beds in each. The place had been abandoned when they were ordered to stay there, but that didn’t mean that it was in completely bad shape. Reiner shut the door with a quiet click before turning around to his partner, who quietly stared out the small window in the room, eyes towards the wall that could be seen barely in the distance. “Is something wrong?” The blonde asked, a frown on his face as he could feel the tension in the air. Bert didn’t say much sometimes, but he was usually so much more loose with words around him. They had grown up together, after all.
“…Do you remember?”
“Do I remember?”
“Why we’re here, Reiner!” Bertholdt’s sudden change in demeanor had the other male startled for a moment as the brunette whirled to face him, but the height difference didn’t intimidate him in the least. “W…what are you talking about, Bert? We’re here because we were ordered-“
“Not that.” Bert hissed a moment, leaning down near the others face before backing off a bit and wiping his brow. He was coming down with a nervous sweat again. “Why we’re really here…you do remember, don’t you?”
“…..Bertholdt...”
“Damnit Reiner!” His voice rose beyond its usual, and he forced himself to lower it into a calmer tone before someone came to investigate. They were in enough trouble already. He wasn’t angry…the trembling in his voice was far from angry, and it seemed as if his actions were clearly confusing and worrying the other. Shakily, the brunette reached out and touched the others shoulder with a sad look in his eyes. “We’re not soldiers Reiner….you’ve changed.” His voice was nearly in a whisper now, and the look on his partners face seemed to crumble in an instant…from worried and confused, to a realization of fear and distress.
“I…”
“You remember now, don’t you?” He said hand never leaving the others shoulder as he gave it a light squeeze, and he raised his other hand shakily, looking at it as if he might disappear or fade away like vapor at any moment. But Reiner was real…he could touch him. And he himself wasn’t fading away. It was a comfort, albeit a minor one. “I’m afraid, Reiner…I’m afraid for what happened to Annie. What will happen to us..? You’ve….you’ve been so distant…it’s like…I don’t even know you.” The statement made Reiner pull away, a mixture of emotions playing on his features like he wasn’t sure where he was going to begin.
“Bert…I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“I can’t….live with myself…thinking. It’s too much…and I...”
“Tend to get lost in the role?” Berthold suggested gently, his hand falling away to his side, only to be grabbed by Reiner, startling him. The shorter blonde nodded, giving the others hand a squeeze as he looked him in the eyes, and for a moment, Bertholdt blushed, feeling like Reiner was being too sincere. He had expected him to get angry…and instead, he was much more agreeable than he had first expected. “Yeah. I….tend…to get lost in the role.” Sighing in relief, but not feeling really any better, the brunette couldn’t help but lean down, giving his partner and best friend….and occasional lover…a kiss to the forehead. He’d been so distant…they hadn’t had a chance to be close like this in such a long time that Bert began to tear up after a moment and whipped his eyes, much to Reiner’s confusion. “Its….good to have you back like this…you know? I’ve felt so alone and out of place….with Annie in the Military Police until…what just happened…I-“
“Bert…don’t cry. I’m sorry.” Reiner frowned, an unhappy look coming to him as he ran a hand through his hair, and gently took the other over to sit down on his bed. Yes, he was a little bit angry on the inside. But it wasn’t at Bertholdt. It was at himself….and all the stress that he was under. It was his fault, after all, for being in a fantasy world that he promised himself constantly that it wasn’t real…but couldn’t seem to shake the fact that he wanted to live in it. Sitting next to him, Bertholdt let out a shaky breath as he awkwardly leaned his head on the others shoulder, slouching quite a bit to accomplish the feat. The two sat in an awkward silence for a few moments, Reiner thinking up a storm in his mind.
Bert felt immediately bad about it. He knew Reiner was reliving the guilt through the varying expressions of despair that crossed his face. All of the stress from remembering…he knew Reiner could be irrational at times, and do something dramatic. And as soon as he had thought about it, Reiner immediately stood up, pacing before him as if suddenly ideas were flooding his head all at once. “I should tell someone…when we find Eren again, he would understand, wouldn’t he? He’s in the same boat we are and-“
“Reiner…no...” Bertholdt said quietly, reaching out to tug gently on the others shirt, still damp from his body underneath. “It wouldn’t work.”
“Why? He’s the same, we all want to-“
“Reiner! Please...Eren…would never forgive us.” Bertholdt leaned forward, wrapping his arms around the others middle, stopping him in his tracks. Reiner could only clench his fists, ever so slightly as he looked ahead, jaw set. “I know you’re frustrated…and it’s all my fault…Reiner…don’t do anything irrational.”
“Who said I’m doing anything irrational?” The frustration came out in his voice, and the brunette wanted to erase anything he had said. He’d only made it worse, hadn’t he? “Reiner…” He nearly begged the other to look at him, and when the blonde did, he could feel his palms beginning to get a bit sweaty in nervousness. “P…please…take out all your frustrations...on me. Like…you have before.” His face blew up red as he said the words, but he wouldn’t take them back. “..What?” Reiner said, harsh tone fading a bit as he looked at Bertholdt, and the taller male looked away in embarrassment, and gulped. “M…make love to me…like you used to, Reiner…t-take all of...your frustrations out…” The request had taken the blonde in surprise, but he found himself loosening the arms around his waist and knelt down, face to face with Bertholdt…who couldn’t seem to look Reiner in the eyes if he wanted to. “…Is…that what you wanted?” Reiner said quietly, Bert unable to express his feelings other than keeping quiet and looking to the floor.
He was selfish, of course. All of his actions were for what he judged was the good for everyone else, making Reiner remember again their goals when it made him so conflicted, encouraging and suggesting to Annie to take up action when they could not…Breaking down the walls. And now, he couldn’t even tell Annie how he felt about her either…nor was he sure Reiner was entirely okay with the truth. Part of him hated himself for being the coward he knew he was. His silence made the blonde before him sigh, grabbing Bertholdt’s chin and forcing his face up to meet his eyes. “I don’t know what you’re thinking Bert…but don’t doubt yourself.” The brunette nodded, still uncertainty in his features. There was no way Reiner understood exactly what he thought...but he knew him well enough to tell that there was something weighing on his mind. With that, Reiner leaned in, their lips brushing together.
Bertholdt immediately jolted, having not expected that. He had expected Reiner to say….something. Not…respond with that. But already his hormones were speaking to him, and he blushed profusely as the slow kiss turned into another, longer one, and he felt his arms automatically wrap around the others neck as he closed his eyes and gave in. Each kiss lasted a bit longer than the last, until finally, Reiner’s tongue met the others lips and their tongues intertwined in a mess of hot breath and saliva. “Mm...” Bert moaned out, a hand moving feather light to the back of the others head as he held him there, and let out a gasp as Reiner moved away, leaning him back gently on the bed he was sitting on to lean over him.
The blonde’s emotions seemed more raw than before, but in a complex and beautiful pattern that Bertholdt couldn’t help noticing to describe as nothing less than his partner…and lover…was giving into need. The idea alone almost made him smile from a small, slightly sadistic thought, but was soon chased away as Reiner lifted up his shirt and began kissing down the brunette’s stomach, his still damp, short hair barely tickling his skin as the kisses quickly turned into small, almost loving nips and tentative licks that made Bert hiss as he automatically reached for a light grip onto the other’s shoulders. “R..reiner…” He stammered, a blush creeping up his neck as he watched him pull away just enough to take off his shirt and began to loosen his pants. Bertholdt watched for a moment, nearly mesmerized by the others damp, toned body before sitting up and beginning to strip his own clothing that was in the way.
It almost made his heart hurt a bit, to realize much of this was at his own suggestion…again…and he felt like Reiner was only complying because it gave him something other than his guilt to focus on. Of course, Reiner would never say so. But as if reading the others mind Reiner cupped the brunettes face, with a hint of a smile. “I’m doing this for you.”
“If…you feel like I’m forcing you into this…don’t.”
“I want to. I haven’t…” The words were left at that as Bertholdt looked down at Reiner’s blush, and noticed his already growing size. With an understanding nod and a relieved smile, the brunette took the other male’s length in his hand and began to work at it, pumping his enlarged member slowly as he coaxed sound after sound from him. “B…bert…” He breathed out, leaning down and capturing the others lips with his own and wrapped his arms around the taller male’s back. His hips were beginning to move into the others hand, and with a gasp he pulled away, moaning into the chilled nights air before grunting for the other to move over as he climbed onto the bed himself. “Bertholdt...” He said breathily as he stroked himself, eyes directing his needs as the brunette nodded and climbed over to him, still a bit breathless from Reiner’s passionate kisses.
“S…suck. I...I don’t have anything…to use....” The blonde said quietly, gently directing the others head to his hardened cock and immediately Bertholdt’s tongue licked at the tip, swirling gently over the head and making Reiner’s body jerk from the sudden eagerness the other seemed to have before taking it slowly, inch by inch into his mouth until he couldn’t fit anymore. He had never been able to take in the whole length before, and he couldn’t now either, but he still bobbed his head quickly over what he could, gasps and short moans pouring from Reiner’s lips as he did, and appeared to be doing his best to control himself from thrusting into Bert’s mouth lest he gag. The brunette, seemingly used to this, fingered his own entrance gently and moaned as he moved, trying to heighten Reiner’s pleasure as well as his own.
“I-I think…that’s enough…” Reiner mumbled, barely loud enough to hear between Bert’s own needy moans. He didn’t feel like he could contain himself much longer between watching his lover be so nearly innocently lewd and his cock being paid so much attention to after such a long time of no sex. He’d been so focused on being a soldier…part of him had forgotten how much he had missed doing this sort of thing with Bertholdt, though he had never forgotten how much he did, in fact, love him. “N…no...” Bert said as Reiner gripped his brown hair, and tried to gently pull him away from what he was doing. “I…I want…to taste you…” He said, looking up at Reiner who felt a pleasant jolt through his body at the words and he averted his gaze for a moment before nodding, loosening his grip just enough that Bert was free to lick down his length, but could see his face clearly.
The brunette took the chance to gently suck on his head again, looking up to see Reiner watching before closing his eyes, taking in as much as he could before repeating the process. He could already taste the others salty precum mixed with his saliva, and it wasn’t too much longer until Reiner’s head fell gently against the headboard of the bed whispering profanities as his hips began to move of their own free will. Berthold was prepared however as he held them down, lips hovering just above the others member as his free hand pumped it slowly. And the moment Reiner felt his release, the grip on his hair became rough, and it was mere seconds later that he came with a loud gasp. Bertholdt was there, cleaning up the mess with his tongue, though some had gotten on his skin, and a small smile came to his lips that quickly turned into a sharp breath as Reiner tugged gently on his hair. “S..some..got on your face…”
“I…it’s alright…” He said with a slight smile as he tried to wipe it off, but Reiner leaned forward, gently grabbing his arm and almost startling the brunette as he came face to face with him. “I…I still…have to take care of your needs…” Bertholdt wasn’t quite sure how to place what he saw in the other’s eyes into a valid emotion, but what he saw shocked him, especially as Reiner pulled him forward, forcing him to sit on his lap as he gently ground their hips together, making the brunette let out a hiss of pleasure as he touched himself between; especially as he felt Reiner’s cock rise back to attention. “I…”
“R...ride me.” Reiner said quietly, a familiar glazed over look in his eyes as he gripped Bertholt’s hips, and the taller male nodded sheepishly, raising his body above the others length carefully and letting out a string of moans and slightly pained gasps as he impaled himself. It was hard to get used to after such a long time, but it wasn’t long until he was settled to the hilt and whimpering quietly as his hips moved into the others, getting used to the feeling of being filled. “R…reiner...” He whined as the other gripped his ass and began to help him move; Bertholdt’s head falling back as he let out a small squeak to the sudden movement that was less than pleasurable, but soon subsided into waves of pleasure that rolled with the motion. “Mm…mm! R..reiner..”
“B…bertholdt….Ngh..”
“F…fuck me…harder..!” He said as his own body attempted to pick up the pace, and another blush came over him. He didn’t cuss too often…but there was really no other way to describe it better. “M..Make…love to me..Reiner..!” The blonde didn’t need to be told twice to begin thrusting up into the other with more vigor, and between both of their moans, Bertholdt wasn’t shy about being loud, forgetting even for a moment that there were others in the rooms around them sleeping. “A…Ahh! R…reiner…I…”

“J…just a bit longer...” He grunted in return, never giving up on the pace, even as his muscles began to tire. “Nn…Reiner! Reiner! God…I..!” Bert called out with a whine as he fisted a bit at the blankets beneath him.
A sharp tap came on the door, making them both slow momentarily. “Quiet. Or I’ll throw you both outside. And clean the fucking sheets, will you? They were supposed to be clean and not dirtied by your worthless mess.” A voice came through the door, making Bertholdt feel as if he might die of embarrassment as he covered his mouth immediately, though his hips still slightly moved against Reiner’s as his body complained and ached for release. Reiner let out a long breath, trying to keep quiet as he heard the sigh at the door and the clicking of boots fade down the hall, and Bertholdt looked to Reiner as the other moved him, though obviously much more quietly than before. “R…reiner…! T-that…was…t..a-ah! The….Corporal…”

“Yeah…be quieter…Bert…” He grumbled between his focused gaze, still far too turned on to make it less of a deterrent as he picked up the speed again, causing Bert to hold both hands over his mouth to cover his cries of pleasure.
____________________________________________________________________________________

When they were done, collapsed in a mess of dirtied sheets and tangled limbs, Bertholdt felt his own guilt resurface, even as he carefully moved his head from Reiner’s chest to look at the blonde’s sleeping face. They’d been caught, for one…and he still…almost felt like Reiner had done everything out of his distress. Even, planting a kiss on the others cheek before settling back down, the brunette closed his eyes with a sigh, hand gripping at the others as he gave it a squeeze. “Don’t…leave me for your delusions again Reiner…I love you.”
- 1
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Reassurance