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Release the Kraken	By : himmelblau Category: +M to R > Neon Genesis Evangelion Views: 7210 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion or any of the characters, and I make no money from writing this.

Chapter List
- 1-Release the Kraken
- 1
Tears dripped down Shinji’s face, rather as semen might have done if someone had just ejaculated into his eye. He was racked by a profound sense of despair. This was a reasonably regular occurrence: today, Shinji had been boiling water for his instant noodles when it had struck him that it was Tuesday and everything was awful.
Misato licked the tears from his cheek, trying – with a limited amount of success – to imagine that the liquid was semen. The saltiness helped, but tears just weren’t gloopy enough for her to convince herself. She kept licking anyway, because she felt like it. Misato was somewhat hazy on the specifics of what being a guardian was supposed to entail, but extensive late-night internet research had told her it entailed doing whatever she felt like with her ward (especially if that involved handcuffs and maid outfits).
Asuka flounced into the room. “I am flouncing!” she announced. “Look at me flouncing! I flounce therefore I am…Asuka!”
Shinji watched her flouncing through tear-bleary eyes. He would have backed away, but Misato had him pinned.
Asuka flopped onto the couch next to them and stared Shinji in the eye, nose to nose with him.
Shinji blushed.
Misato, who had become an expert in deciphering blushes (since this was frequently the only way Shinji communicated) said, “He wishes you wouldn’t do that.” She was still hoping that one day Shinji would blush the blush that said, ‘I want to put on a maid’s outfit and service you’.
“Wishes I wouldn’t do what? Be a megabitch?” Asuka cackled. “I’ve got news for you, dumbass…I’m a megabitch for the same reason you’re a weepy dumbass: our lives suck! We’re mid-pubescent kids who have to save the world by running around in giant robot suits and killing monsters in very graphic and painful ways, which is what makes us so relatable for lonely Anglosphere otaku-teens.”
Shinji was struck by the realisation that he really was a weepy dumbass, and fresh tears appeared, upon which Misato eagerly pounced. “And you,” Asuka continued, turning her glare on Misato, “Who on earth put you in charge of minors? You’re a sex-crazed boozehound!”
“Hey,” Misato protested, “I’m not that sex-crazed!”
“You keep trying to put Shinji’s hand on your boob!”
Misato dropped his wrist like a hot potato. “I was not!”
“Yeah you were.”
Suddenly, Shinji spoke up.
“You know what would distract us from the crippling depression of trying to prolong our miserable lives by holding back the apocalypse which will inevitably free us from the excruciating shackles of this existence?”
“What?”
“Fucking.”
“That could work,” said Misato, feigning nonchalance.
“You realise you’re humping the sofa, don’t you?” said Asuka.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yeah you are.”
“Well,” Shinji cut in, “How about if I suddenly become uncharacteristically assertive, whop out my surprisingly massive cock, and we can all get started?”
“More blushing,” Misato demanded.
Shinji blushed.
“Sufficient blushing,” she conceded, and began to strip.
“Oookay, gonna leave you weirdos to it.” Asuka slammed the door on her way out.
Alone together, Misato and Shinji stared into one another’s eyes. There was a moment of emotional intensity. Shinji felt that Misato understood him. Misato felt a trickle of moisture escape her underwear and make its way down her leg.
“So,” she began, “that massive cock you mentioned…” Then, as if she had remembered something, she sat very upright (now in her bra and panties) and said, “Of course, you are definitely of legal age.”
“Of course,” Shinji replied, woodenly, “I am definitely of legal age and give my full consent to the preceding and following actions.” They both looked around the room, found nothing, and relaxed.
“Now. To business!” Misato cried, tugging down Shinji’s jeans. Despite his small build and skinny legs, a kraken-like cock wibbled out. Misato realised her mouth was hanging open, and considered closing it, but instead put it around Shinji’s dick.
Since Misato had not channelled her own share of the post-Impact despair into weepiness or bitchery, but rather into fucking anything in sight, she was relatively well-versed in the cocksucking art. Still, Shinji’s definitely-legal member was a challenge even for her. It throbbed with lust, and it was so huge that when the base of it throbbed the tip trembled like jelly in a high wind.
She made do with licking it, which was probably just as well because Shinji was already close to a toe-curling climax. He grunted, manly-ly, as Misato took a deep breath and stuffed the head of his cock into her mouth and throat. Then, remembering that he was being uncharacteristically assertive for the purposes of fuckery, Shinji dragged his cock out of Misato (who gasped as the monster member was yanked from her larynx). A thin stream of saliva and precum flowed from the tip to the carpet.
Shinji grabbed Misato’s waist and pushed her against the wall, unhampered by his diminutive height and girlish physique. Grunting, yet continuing to blush, he pressed his man-meat against her lips.
“Nrghrgh,” Misato said.
Shinji shifted his babymaker away from her mouth so she could talk.
“Other lips,” she repeated.
“Oh,” he said, momentarily nonplussed, then worked it out. “Oh! Sorry…” With one mighty thrust he impaled her upon his lust-lance.
Misato rocked her hips to meet his, giving a strangled scream of ecstatic, overwhelming, adjective-defying pleasure. He licked her nipple, teasing the nub with his teeth, and she half-screamed again. Shinji wasn’t quite sure if the noises she was making were indications of enjoyment or pain, but he figured that, since she was a fully combat-trained military professional and he was a young whippersnapper of barely but definitely legal age, if she had wanted to get away from him she would have done so. So he continued to pound her.
Their hips crashed together like waves breaking against the shore. He charged into her with the force of a herd of stallions racing across the prairie, and she surged back to meet his thrusts as eagerly as a depressed office worker takes a swig from the hipflask hidden underneath the stapler in his desk drawer when the boss isn't looking. Heat rose in Shinji’s body, and just as he was beginning to wonder whether he had caught a sudden fever he came, letting loose a great flood of man-milk into Misato’s body.
She felt the rush of fluid fill her channel and spurt into her womb, and she screamed yet again. Shinji gave one last, earth-shattering thrust; or if not earth-shattering then at least wall-shattering, because he catapulted them both through the brickwork into the next room, where Asuka was masturbating frantically with her ear pressed against the wallpaper.
Misato came, writhing and shrieking for a good thirty seconds while Asuka and Shinji watched in a mixture of pleasure and vague confusion.
“Now what?” Shinji asked, when the cacophony had finally subsided.
“Now we cuddle,” Misato declared, proudly dripping various fluids as she made her way to the bed to lie down. Shinji followed, and Asuka launched herself across the room to land on top of them both, shouting, “WARM AND FUZZYYYY!” as she flew through the air.
“What?” she asked, when she saw the others staring. “Can’t a megabitch enjoy a bit of warm and fuzzy too?”
“Do I have to fuck you comatose too? Cause, no offense, but my bizarrely huge dick is kinda sleepy now,” Shinji mumbled.
“Nah. You can do me tomorrow,” Asuka replied, curling up on the end of the bed that wasn’t soaked in Shinji and Misato’s combined juices.
Shinji sighed. Tomorrow was Wednesday, and he could tell already that it was going to be awful.
- 1
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Release the Kraken