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Phantom Limbs	By : SRWFan Category: +M to R > Neon Genesis Evangelion Views: 10021 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Phantom Limbs
- 1
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Phantom Limbs
By SRWFan
Summary: Asuka helps to retrieve Shinji from Unit-01. Her actions completely change the relationship between both Children. However Shinji’s body has also undergone changes after his ordeal… and he can now turn into his girlfriend’s private tentacle monster. Shinji/Asuka.
Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Notes: This story is based on the original series, not in Rebuild.
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Iridescent, shimmering orange light filled her vision.
Asuka laid back and ensconced on the metallic chair of the cylindrical cockpit, gripping firmly the controls. She was submerged in the thick, opaque orange liquid that filled the narrow space. And it smelt of blood.
She tried to relax in vain. Her heart thundered into her chest, and anxiety and trepidation flowed throughout her veins. She could hear the shouts and orders of the command centre, starting the synchronization sequence up, but she was not listening to them.
Asuka gnawed her lower lip nervously. He is stuck inside his robot, they had told to her. We have a plan to get him out of it, but we need your help, they insisted. We believe that you can coax him into returning, they informed, never considering what they were implying.
We need you, they said. She was still flabbergasted. An organization with a billionaire budget, the best scientists, the most cutting-edge technology… and this was the best plan that they could come up with? Dunking a girl into stupid Shinji’s machine and seeing what happens? And what if something happens to HER? They had thought of it? And why Shinji had been absorbed by his robot? Who builds war machines that may EAT their pilots? She recalled some of the strange robots whose shows the four-eyed Stooge watched: Mazinger-Z, Grendizer, Getter Robot, Daimos, Gundam, Macross, Patlabor, Gunbuster, Code Geass, Gurren Lagann… as much as she loved her Unit-02 and declared that it was best than those toys, she had to admit that those robots were NOT renowned by liquefying their pilots.
We need your help, they told. And she had no option other than obliging them because otherwise she would look like the bad guy. But why should she help them? Why should she help HIM? He did not care for her.
She felt a piercing sensation entering her mind, and her senses and Unit-01’s brain merged.
He did not care for her. He always wants everyone being nice to him but he was never there for her when she needed him. He was always going with his friends, Misato, the First… he preferred them to her.
In the back of her mind a soft, silky voice protested, citing the times that Shinji had tried to be nice to her… cooked for her… tutored her in kanji… leapt in a volcano to save her… tried to cheer her up… tried to kiss her…
Asuka shook her head in denial. He never wanted to spend time with her. He would not even look in her direction. He was always avoiding her, looking away. She goaded him to come in her bedroom and he never came. She shoved her breasts on his face and he said that he was not interested. She kissed him, and he… he… he did not kiss back. He just stood there, apathetic. He did nothing. He would not hold her; he would not even touch her! She had run away to the bathroom to cry –for first time in years. He had made her crying. Damn it, why he had that effect on her?-, feeling bitter, cold and alone.
A flood of bitter, repressed feelings of abandonment and reject surged inside her. Asuka squashed them down and dammed them up behind steel gates. Still she wallowed in her bitterness and jealousy. He is unable to bring himself up to tell someone how he feels, but he is always waiting for someone else showing him love and kindness. So, what if someone loves him but is unable to give the first step, too? He would never see it.
The voice insisted: Yes… It sounds awfully familiar, does not it?
Asuka did not reply.
You did not give him a chance.
He does NOT love me, Asuka replied stonily and frostily in her mind. He loves First.
A memory came to her mind, unbidden and unwelcome. He left Nerv after the fight against the Fourteenth. She went to the train station to say goodbye… and she met him talking with the First.
Asuka flinched, feeling again the suffocating sensation that she had felt then. It hurt her and chocked her. She had been unable to bear the sight, so she spun around and ran away, far away.
He did not love her bac- He did not love her. Yes, he dove in molten magma to save her, but he did it because she was her sister-in-arms. He cooked for her because they lived together. He tried to kiss her because he was a pervert.
You did not show him your feelings clearly.
So what? He would have rejected her then or broken her heart later. She would give up her pride and would only have more pain in return.
He loves you.
Mama did not love me. Papa did not love me. That home-wrecker that he got married to did not love me. No one loves me. Why would he be different?
You are lying to yourself. Misato and Kaji loved you.
Misato did not care. She only took me in because it was her job. She just let me move in with her when I had to learn to synchronize with Shinji. Kaji only wanted to be with Misato.
You are lying to yourself. You only need to reach out to them.
No, no one loves me. I am alone. I have always been alone. And I am fine with-
You keep lying to yourself. You HATE to be alone.
Oh, God, yes. I am lying to myself. I am ALWAYS lying to myself. I do not want to be alone. I hate it. But that changes nothing. No one loves me, no one would love me. I cannot reach them out. I cannot let them reach me out. I have to push them away so they do not know how I am: a weak, pathetic, lonely kid. I am always lying to myself. I tell what I am fine living alone but I am unable to boil water without burning it, wash dishes without breaking them or do my laundry without tearing up the clothes, and my room is always a mess. I am a college graduate that barely can keep up because I do not understand all kanji. I am only good at piloting Eva and I am not even the best at that anymore. I worked hard to become the best and I was beaten by a kid that they picked up from the streets. Nerv only wants me because my piloting skills, and if I lose them they will replace me and discard me. I am pathetic, useless, worthless.
Grief, despair, loneliness, pain washed over her over and over like waves tumbling down on the shore as Asuka wallowed in all of it. Her chest burnt. The pain was unbearable. All of her bad memories, her regrets, her self-lies battered her mind like a storm and she could not push them away and cage them where she could not see them like she usually did. They were overwhelming her, and she could not run away, she could not run away, she-
Oh, my God.
The sudden voice startled Asuka out of her downward spiral. That was a different voice. It sounded like-
God, Asuka. I am sorry. I am so sorry.
She blinked, puzzled, and stared around. It sounded like Shinji. But she was still alone in the cockpit. She could not see him in anywhere. On second thought, she had not “heard” him either. It had… sounded into her head.
Close your eyes, Asuka.
Again that… soundless voice. Asuka felt more perplexed than before, but she shut her eyes.
Shinji?
Yes.
What are you doing here?
I do not know. I was fighting-
No, I mean what are you doing IN MY HEAD?
I-I-I do not know. Where are you now?
I am inside your Eva, stupid. You got absorbed into it. They were trying to get you out and they got the great idea of giving you a “buoy to anchor yourself to”. So they dumped me into your crappy robot and ordered me synchronize with it.
She sensed Shinji pausing.
So… since I am inside the Eva and you are synchronized with it, does it mean what you are synchronizing with me? And our minds are connected?
Well, I do not want to be “connected”! GET OUT!
How? He asked. Asuka got speechless.
She nearly sensed him shaking his head. But that is not important now, he said.
NOT IMPORTANT? WHAT-
She abruptly stopped her incoming tirade when she felt two hands softly and gingerly holding her head and caressing her cheeks. Asuka opened her eyes again. She was still –apparently- alone. She could not see him. But she could swear that the liquid surrounding her was now denser and somewhat murkier…
A thought assaulted her. Was it Shinji? His soul or his dissolved body was gathering around her?
She closed her eyes again. She could not see him… but she could feel his hands. She could feel his warmth. Surrounding her. Enfolding her. Accepting her. Protecting her.
I am sorry, Asuka, he repeated, and for once Asuka felt that his apologies were heartfelt rather automatic, instinctive and meaningless gusts of wind. I did not know. I love you.
Asuka gasped in utter shock. You- You do?
Shinji could feel both her disbelief and her desperate yearning for believing him. And he just knew that he had to act before her pride mastered her again.
Yes, I do. He said. And then she felt his lips brushing hers.
Unbeknownst to them, the cameras showing the inside of the cockpit to the command centre turned off. Chaos erupted outside.
Inside the cockpit, Asuka got startled. At the beginning her lips were unresponsive and cold, and for an instant she felt the impulse to break the kiss. Then she softened, warmed. She returned his kiss, keeping her eyes closed.
A stream of memories started to seep into her mind, like water filtering through the cracks of a limestone. She saw Shinji gawking at her on the deck of the ship and thinking that she was the most beautiful girl that he had met. She saw Shinji rushing after her after Misato callously said that the First could replace her. She saw Shinji lying beside her, feeling tempted to kiss her, stopping when he saw her crying for her mother in dreams, and wanting to console her and make her happy. She saw him rushing into the volcano’s caldera to save her. She saw him standing paralyzed during their first kiss, wanting to kiss her back but being too afraid to try…
She nearly sobbed.
More memories came. The visions started to get mingled with her remembrances.
The image of a woman cradling a doll, and later hanging herself overlapped with the vision of a brown-haired woman sitting into a cockpit and dissolving in nothingness.
The image of a tall man walking away and leaving his crying son alone mixed with the image of a man sleeping with his wife’s nurse as his daughter eavesdropped on them, feeling disgusted, revolted and sick.
The image of a slender red-head girl standing on all fours and staring with a downcast and hopeless expression at an unmoving sliding door blended with the image of a raven-haired boy staring quizzically at the same door and wondering what she had meant with “Walls of Jericho”.
More images of two lonely childhoods followed.
Asuka sobbed. She cried for her pain and his hurt. And still she felt happy. For first time in a decade she felt loved and accepted.
Idly she felt the liquid filling her cockpit becoming denser around her. She felt strong arms hugging her, and two hands stroking her back. To her surprise, more hands roamed over her body, caressing her tenderly. She felt Shinji in front of her, behind her, around her, in her.
What? She thought, alarmed. And she opened again her eyes.
She was completely cocooned in the darker, thicker LCL. Blobs of the murky, dense substance had congealed, forming several pairs of semi-solid, translucent, bodiless, ghostly hands that were enthusiastically groping and stroking her curvaceous body.
Her eyes bulged out. Panicked, she nearly screamed. And still she felt less frightened of what she thought she should be. A part of her felt oddly... serene.
Calm down, Asuka.
Asuka closed her eyes and exhaled and inhaled deeply and heavily, willing herself to calm down.
What are you doing?
I… I do not know. It is like… like if my mind is partially controlling the LCL in the cockpit. Maybe it is because my body is dissolved into it…
So just like his mind was into her head, he was literally everywhere around her, Asuka thought. It sounded disturbing. But also warming and comforting in a strange way.
A random doubt grew into her. What if this situation was only a dream and in reality she was sleeping on her bed? It sounded eerily similar to some of her fantasies.
Did you have erotic dreams about me, Asuka?
His mental voice sounded shocked… and amused. Asuka just knew that her cheeks were flushed.
Yes, I did. Especially after the last battle. Often I dreamt that you sneaked in my room at the night and we made love. And then I woke up and I felt alone and miserable and I wanted to cry.
I am not leaving you alone again, he assured.
Did you dream about me, too? She asked. She could feel his embarrassment and a bit of shame. Another vision seeped into her mind, and she saw herself lying face-down on the kitchen’s table, her hands spasmodically gripping the table’s edge, her rumpled skirt lifted and her soaked, white panties lowered down to her knees as Shinji fondled her buttocks and mercilessly rammed his shaft into her yearning vagina. Lustful moans erupted from their mouths with every motion of his.
Asuka gulped. The warmth that she was feeling intensified, fuelled by the feeling of invisible hands touching and fondling her body. Her breath became heavier and hoarser. All of sudden the suit tightly hugging her body felt like a nuisance. She fidgeted nervously on her seat.
Asuka, Shinji mumbled. His mental voice was a heated, desire-filled whisper, and Asuka was certain that he would be blushing if he had a physical body.
Asuka, he repeated. The number of hands stroking and caressing her body increased. Still he avoided especially sensitive areas. Asuka sensed his thoughts. He was getting overwhelming aroused, but he would not escalate things unless she agreed to.
Asuka bit her lower lip in contrition. She had always regarded sex like ‘disgusting’… not the act itself but the act without feeling or emotion behind it, doing it just because the hell of it, or trying to compensate for the lack of something deeper.
This was not the case here. Waves of powerful emotion swept over her, washing her rational thought away. She wanted this and she wanted him. It was not a mere physical necessity than anyone or anything could fulfil. However…
Relationships are complicated. Sex complicates everything –especially relationships-. They were two persons with many troubles to have healthy human interaction. They had just confessed. They had not got a single date. And they were already going to make love? Their relationship was very new and fragile, and that kind of hasty action might poison it before it had a chance to blossom.
And yet… and yet she needed this. She needed him.
Shinji felt her agreement mental. Their kiss deepened. Two eager hands wantonly groped her pert breasts, massaging them with slow circular motions, exploring with their digits every centimetre of her skin. His movements were delicate, careful, and intense, like if he was worshipping her. Another hand travelled down and over her flat underbelly, softly and tenderly stroking her burning nether regions, still clothed in dampened fabric.
Asuka panted in and out heavily. An endless string of moans erupted from her mouth. She could not stand it anymore. She depressurized her tight crimson-and-orange suit and slipped off it. She felt a wave of triumph, glee and delight slamming her senses. The LCL enfolding her bubbled, churned and swirled around her like a mad whirlpool. Numerous greedy hands groped, fondled and kneaded breasts, buttocks and hips. Eager tongues licked her smooth, milky skin up and down her neck, arms and quaking legs. Loving mouths kissed her forehead, eyelids, mouth, abdomen and groin. Probing digits slipped into her anxious mouth, steamy slit and taut anus. Her vagina’s folds opened, and two digits slithered between her flesh walls, pumping in and out swiftly and relentlessly.
Asuka shivered, trembled, quaked and shook. Spasm and tremors rocked her body, intensifying until her orgasm finally exploded. She yelled as her body violently lurched upwards and fell back on her seat over and over as honey welled up from her slit. After several writhing spasms, she collapsed on her seat.
All of sudden something very solid and warm was squashing her slightly. Slowly, almost dreadfully, she opened her eyes. Shinji was slumped atop of her, blue eyes closed and body naked.
Inwardly she was grateful for the comm. link being blocked out since no one could see them now, naked and entangled with each other. She ignored how she knew that, though. She just knew.
Wordlessly she draped her muscled arms around his upper thorax and kissed the top of his head anxiously and tenderly. She still could hear his voice, hear him, feel him in the back of her mind.
I am sorry. I should have realized before…
No, no. I am sorry. I was stupid. I should have reached you out instead of making excuses.
********
Several days later…
Asuka stepped in the bathroom, treading on the cool, shining tiles gingerly, wearing only a yellow towel that loosely hugged her gorgeous, young body. As she walked towards the shower’s screen, she reflected on how much her life had changed lately. A smile of beatitude lit up her face and a crimson blush dotted her cheeks.
All of sudden two firm arms embraced her from behind, and a naked body pressed against her back at the same time that a pair of lips planted a kiss on her crown. She stiffened even though she knew who the intruder was.
“Hey,” he whispered, and he kissed her again; this time on her right shoulder.
The redness suffusing her face intensified. “Shinji, what are you doing?” she whispered back.
“Wh-what did you mean? I thought… that we could shower together.”
She tilted her head lightly. “What about Misato? If she catches us-”
“It is early morning. She is sleeping. And you know that she could sleep through the whole end of the world.”
They did not really need to talk, since her psychic bond remained intact. However they had learnt the benefits of talking to each other and they basked in the normalcy of having oral conversations.
If someone had told Asuka a while ago that she would share a piece of her mind with someone she would have been shocked, horrified and angry. But now… now she treasured the feeling in the rear of her head that whispered that she was not alone, that there was someone that knew how she felt and at the very least would try to understand her. And it was not like if he could read her mind without her permission or knowledge. Their link was kind of a communication line that they could shut down.
And they had told nobody about it.
Their relationship had drastically changed after Shinji’s return. However they were keeping it secret. In public they pretended that their relationship had barely progressed, and if they went on a date they claimed that they were merely two friends hanging out together. In private though they spent the whole time clung to each other, touching and kissing and hugging and making love whenever they were alone. They had mastered the art of sneaking into each other’s room after Misato fell asleep.
Shinji rubbed his face against Asuka’s thick scarlet hair and inhaled deeply her sweet scent. Humming blissfully he yanked Asuka’s towel and tossed it aside. Asuka slowly rotated one-hundred-eighty degrees, facing him. Shinji trailed his fingers through the cascade of fire that descended freely upon her shoulders and back.
I love when you take your clips off, he thought.
I know that.
He cupped his cheeks and kissed her. She instantly reciprocated. It was not one of their kisses full of passion and desire but it was an honest, gentle kiss of love and care. Clumsily they stumbled towards the shower, opening the screen and sliding it back after them.
Asuka started the shower. Hot water rained down on them and rivulets of foggy steam arose from the ground, wrapping them. Asuka picked one of her special shampoo bottles –the ones they imported from Germany-, poured a liberal dose on her hands and started to scrub her long, glossy hair. Shinji imitated her, using a normal shampoo instead.
After they were finished with that task, Shinji fetched a bottle of liquid soap, poured a dense glob on his hand and started to lather Asuka’s body. He exhaled in satisfaction as his hands glided all over her back, arms, breasts and belly. Asuka also poured gel on her hands and lathered Shinji’s body.
Hot, steamy water rolled over their drenched bodies, washing away the soap. Asuka massaged Shinji’s chest tenderly, pinching his hard nipples. He flinched. She planted her mouth on the curve of his neck and nibbled slightly his skin. He squealed in low voice and hugged her, embracing her luscious body, squeezing her, crushing her.
Asuka stopped abusing his swollen, now-purplish neck, and shutting her eyes in fondness, thought: Hey, Shinji. Please, do it.
She “heard” a mental sigh. I am going to find out who lent you porn stuff and hunt them down.
What if I tell you that I found it in Misato’s secret porno stash? Or in yours?
I have not a secret porno stash, let alone THAT kind of hentai, he thought, incensed.
Asuka paused. She could feel his emotions. His outrage was real. Then why was there porno stuff hidden under Shinji’s bed?
A split-second later, both thought simultaneously: Misato!
Trying to banish the disturbing image of Misato hiding her pornography in her underage ward’s bedroom from his mind, Shinji focused on satisfying Asuka. He closed his eyes and concentrated.
Another change that he had suffered after spending a whole month in liquid state was that he could now... shape-shift. He was not sure of why or how, but he guessed what he gained that ability when his body reformed itself. Anyhow Asuka had found many new uses for it.
His erect penis grew and lengthened silently, morphing into a sinuous tentacle. The member glided towards Asuka’s crotch. The purple, sensitive glans stroked her damp labia, tenderly poking the opening, and their outer folds opened like petals of a blossoming flower. Shinji’s penis slid inside.
Shinji hugged Asuka more tightly, and she draped her creamy arms around his taut neck. His penis buried itself deeply into Asuka, and grew longer and wider. Asuka whimpered in slight pain.
“Are you fine?” He whispered. “It is too big? If you want I will-”
Her answer was a kiss. “No, no, the size is perfect. I am fine. Just let me get used to it.”
Shinji was still wary, but he trusted her. He focused again. Underneath his penis sprouted a coiling, thick tentacle that slid between Asuka’s legs, bent upwards and gingerly buried itself deeply into Asuka’s anus.
The redhead girl stiffened, winced and emitted a soft whimper. Her eyes rolled upwards and her sinewy, slim legs wrapped around his waist. It was a strange, alien sensation, she thought, as the tentacle crawled inside her, writhed, grew, widened and filled her. But she had to admit that it aroused her.
Shinji groped her buttocks to hold her, and he started to rock his hips, ramming and thrusting in and out Asuka’s vagina and anus. She groaned and trembled in his arms like a reed during a hurricane as Shinji increased the strength and tempo of his thrusts.
More writhing, gelatinous, thick, serpentine appendages sprouted from Shinji’s upper and lower limbs. As a legion of python snakes they wound around Asuka’s arms, legs, upper body and waist. Two tentacles coiled around her generous breasts, squeezing the flesh orbs and squishing them against each other. Asuka panted in delirious ecstasy as her boyfriend let out lustful groans.
They kissed passionately. Shinji winced inwardly, feeling that he was on the brink of an orgasm. His whole body shuddered, pleading for a release. But he did not want to climax before her. Gritting his teeth he struggled for holding back. He forced himself to ignore the flames scorching his loins and to slow down his frenzied thrusts, pounding inside her more slowly and more deeply.
Finally Asuka’s flesh walls clenched, her whole body clenched and she arched her back as pale cream spilt out her slit and splashed Shinji’s pelvis. She swiftly kissed him again to mask a long, guttural, wild moan. Shinji let himself go and shot his liquid white seed into her.
Worn-out, Shinji stumbled backwards and his back bumped into the slippery wall. He rested upon the cold, wet surface, still holding Asuka. She kept clinging to him, her four limbs wrapped around his body and clutching him fiercely with strength born of love, passion and fear-fuelled despair, like if she was afraid of him melting away. Shinji’s right hand stroked her stiff, soft back in reassurance. Her water-drenched skin glistened, and her body gave off a heavenly heat. Shinji’s tentacles retreated silently inside his body and his penis slid out of her slippery vagina. They remained in that posture as her uneven breaths quietened.
They kissed again.
Now we have to leave the shower quickly before Misato catches us.
Yes. I wish we can remain like this the whole day. Instead of it we have to go to class shortly and to sync tests in the afternoon.
Asuka cringed, not looking forward to it like she did several months ago. Her sync rate had got very uneven and unstable despite the fact that she felt truly happy and relaxed for first time in one decade. She was having many doubts about her piloting skills, her self-worth... Furthermore, her mind was now synchronized with another, and –she guessed- it was disrupting her bond with her Unit.
“If they replace you and ditch you they better pray for that dummy plug thing works again, because I’ll quit,” Shinji growled, his voice trembling and flaring with hot wrath. He could feel her dread and doubt, fuelling his rage.
She embraced to Shinji more tightly and anxiously, supporting her head in the curve of his neck and resting her cheek against his. His warmth and his touch soothed her, and she shut her eyes and hummed softly as his presence lulled her to drowsiness.
********
The End
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