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Thunder Rolls	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 2345 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail, nor do I make money off of this fanfic.

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Fraxus Week 2015, Day 2: Thunderstorms

Thunder Rolls

a Fairy Tail fanfic

by Rhov

Freed had perched in a sitting nook by the window to watch a thunderstorm. It was late; he wasn't sure of the time. He stopped frantically checking the clock after 2AM rolled around. His mind was blank as he watched lightning striking in the distance.
He saw the large man stumbling up the road. He swayed on his feet, held onto a light post that cast him in an amber glow reflecting off sidewalk puddles, and then he continued. Freed rose silently. Maybe two hours ago he was livid enough to have shouted about how worried he was that Laxus did not return home when he said he would. Maybe four hours ago he could have forgiven him for being a little late. Five hours ago, he had hoped that Laxus would come home and smile at him in thanks for making him dinner. Now dinner was stored away, cold and stale, and Freed was too emotionally drained to be angry anymore.
It was not his place to scold Laxus. These feelings deep inside could never come out again. He had confessed, he was slammed down, and he was given an ultimatum: Don't let this interfere with work and the team, and they could still be friends; Freed could still watch over Laxus' house and be by his side.
At the time, he was just glad. He knew confessing was fraught with dangers. It was why he held back for so many years. He had hoped that by now … but no. You couldn't change a person's sexual orientation just by wishing hard enough.
Freed opened the door so Laxus did not have to fumble with his keys. He wordlessly pulled off the drenched fur coat and hung it up to drip dry. Laxus reeked of booze and Cana's perfume. Freed pulled him forward, taking the weight as he silently guided the drunk Lightning Dragon Slayer over to the bedroom. Laxus collapsed into bed and made no effort to move again.
"Cana's a hell of a woman," he moaned.
Freed said nothing. He pulled off Laxus' shoes, undid his shirt and peeled the wet fabric away, and tugged his pants off, leaving Laxus in only his underwear. Freed noticed a few pink marks on Laxus' chest and neck. His stomach twisted, but he said nothing.
It hurt. It always hurt. Laxus was popular with the ladies. There was nothing he could do about it. His only choice was to leave the team, distance himself from his obsession, and that was something Freed just couldn't do. Laxus still needed him, and even if he could only admire from afar, that was enough for now. At least he could still be near Laxus. Even if it was just to pull off his drenched clothes and tuck him into bed after a night of drinking and sex, Freed told himself that he should feel honored that he was useful. He was still needed. Laxus would smile at him in the morning, thank him in his gruff way, and it would make Freed's heart soar with joy.
"You're awful quiet."
Freed glanced back around at the lump collapsed onto the mattress. "Why should I speak? You won't remember in the morning anyway."
"That's probably true," Laxus muttered. "Thanks to that damn lush, I'm shit-faced drunk. So say anything." He laughed with inebriation. "Go ahead, Freed. Say all the shit you've always wanted to say to my face. I bet there's a lot. Do everything you've wanted to do to me but didn't dare. I won't remember a goddamn thing. Free shot! Go ahead. Wanna see it. Hah! Say anything. Do anything."
Freed looked down in anguish. Why did he have to say things like that? He was drunk, but it still pained Freed.
He closed his eyes, feeling a volatile stir in all the emotions he normally kept bottled down. Rarely did he let them show. It was undignified, and especially in front of Laxus, he wanted to show that he was strong. Still, he was not heartless. He hurt. He yearned. Sometimes he cried himself to sleep, knowing Laxus would never be anything more than a friend. To be considered as Laxus' right-hand man should be a deep honor, yet Freed wanted more. He wanted to be by Laxus' side always. He wanted the chance to love him, and to get love in return. He felt guilty for wanting so much, for not being satisfied with such a distinction, yet he could not help it.
"You won't remember," Freed muttered mostly to himself. He suddenly leaned over Laxus and glared down angrily. "I hate when you do this. I hate worrying about you until I feel sick. I hate trying to take care of you and hardly getting a single thanks for all my hard work. Instead you stay out until four in the morning and don't even bother to let me know you're going to be late. Then you come home like … like this. You know I worry. You know how I feel. You know … I love you," he said in anguish. "I have since we were young. Yet you still do this. I respect that you aren't into men, but still, can't you show a little respect in return?" he screamed. "You don't take my feelings seriously. Even if you don't feel the same way toward me, at least don't fuck with me! Say anything? Do anything?" he scoffed. "Fine!"
He kissed Laxus with all the passion he had been bottling down for years. To his surprise, Laxus kissed back. Of course, he was so drunk, he would kiss a horse at this point. But then a tongue slid out. Freed gasped as Laxus grabbed the back of his head and pulled him in deeper. Freed began to cry as he tasted the booze that was allowing this moment.
He never should have done this. It was so wrong. He was just taking advantage of Laxus. Still, now he could not pull away. Maybe he could have fought against Laxus' strength while he was drunk and uncoordinated, but Freed had to be honest—he didn't want to break free. He wanted this to linger. He wanted to keep feeling these lips. Even if it was fake, even if Laxus would not remember, Freed would. He would hold this kiss in his memory until the day he died.
Laxus pulled back and gazed up with bloodshot eyes. He smiled, and it gave Freed some hope.
"Damn, Freed!" he exclaimed, stroking green strands off of his face. "You kiss better than Cana."
That was both a compliment and a shot that burned his soul. To be compared to the woman Laxus just slept with! Freed yanked away and stormed out of the bedroom. He slammed the door on Laxus and leaned his back against it as tears burned his cheeks. Thunder cracked and roared through the darkened room. It shattered the sky just as Freed's heart was shattered by a careless word from the thunder god.
With tears tumbling down, he went back to the window, crawled into the nook, and looked out at the thunderstorm. Lightning flashed so beautifully, but the darkness cried, the water dripped, and a rumble of fierce anger rolled through the air.
Freed closed his eyes and let his head sink to his knees, curled into a ball in the little nook. He rested his face against the cold glass and slowly drifted off.

Freed woke with a jolt. It was early morning, and there was a hand on his shoulder. He saw electric blue eyes gazing sadly at him. Freed tried to scramble, but he realized that someone had draped a blanket over him. He felt warm despite having fallen asleep by the window. Laxus must have covered him in the middle of night.

"Sorry for waking you," Laxus said softly.
"What do you need?" he blurted out.
Laxus stroked his hand down Freed's cheek and gazed deeply, forlornly. "I … remember last night."
Freed fell a few shades paler. "It … it won't happen again. I'm sorry." He cringed and turned his face away. "Should I go? I can leave. I can also leave the team, if this is too awkward."
Laxus shook his head, and he still looked sad … or maybe it was worry, sympathy, Freed didn't know anymore.
"Maybe," Laxus began awkwardly, and he cleared his throat to say things clearer. "Maybe we can give this thing a chance."
Freed blinked in confusion. "Thing?"
"Your feelings are important to me, but I've been hurting you. I don't want you to ever look as sad as you did last night. Never! I can't promise anything, but … I guess I'm saying," Laxus muttered, "I'm willing to give it a try. If it works out, great. If it doesn't work, then we'll both know for sure where we stand, and we can keep being teammates."
Freed blinked again. He was dreaming, that was it. Just dreaming. "What about Cana?"
"The thing between me and Cana is just physical. I'm not her only partner," Laxus said with a slight glower. "I don't like that. I want someone who wants no one else but me, someone who I know I can satisfy fully."
"I want only you," Freed blurted out.
Laxus smiled sadly again. "I know. That's why I'm willing to give it a try. I really don't know if I'd be okay with it, but … well hell, I'm curious," he chuckled. "I want to prove to you that I'm not some asshole. I seriously am thankful for everything you do, from cooking me dinner to scrubbing my back." He took a seat beside Freed on the narrow nook and cradled his cheek in his massive hand. "Are you willing to put up with me fumbling around as I figure this out?"
The fingers on Freed's face were so warm, callused and rough, yet they touched him with gentleness. Freed had always wanted Laxus to touch him like this.
"Yes," he whispered, and a tear slipped down.
Laxus smiled, and he began to lean in. Freed closed his eyes, waiting for the kiss.

There was the sound of an explosion. Freed jolted awake and looked around. He was shivering as his body pressed against the chilly pane of glass. He was still against the window, the storm was raging harder, and the air smelled of ozone from a lightning strike that must have hit right overhead. Freed looked out at the torrents of rain.

Just a dream.
A wonderful dream.
It would only ever be in his dreams that Laxus touched him like that.
Freed wiped away a tear, yet he smiled. Perhaps it was only a matter of time. Laxus would lose interest in Cana, and Freed would still be there. He might even date Mira, and Freed would still be there. Ladies came and went over the years, yet Freed was a constant element in his life.
He should feel proud of that honor.
As he fixed himself some herbal tea and dabbed another tear, he repeated that like a mantra against the pain in his heart.
He should feel proud to be Laxus' right-hand man.
Yet still…
He wanted more.
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Thunder Rolls