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Look At Me, Goddamnit!	By : RainbowOfLight Category: +M to R > Neon Genesis Evangelion Views: 1486 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: This is a nonprofit work of fiction; Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by Khara, Inc. All characters will be treated as having their canonical ages or given an appropriate one in the absence of such.

Chapter List
- 1-Look At Me
- 1
"Rrgghh, Ich hasse diesen Idioten Shinji!" Asuka nearly hollered, throwing her arms up with her hands clenched into fists. She was the wunderkind—prodigious Second Child of NERV who pilots the EVA Unit 02 and outshines her peers with contemptuous ease, university graduate back home in Germany, and smoking hot bombshell with the best of her German, American, and Japanese genes, all rolled together into a fourteen-year-old package. Yet, here she was—slumming it in a rickety little apartment under her beer-obsessed and too-old-for-dating commander Misato Katsuragi with said commander's dumb pet penguin Pen Pen along, and worse than that, playing second fiddle on the battlefield against angels to her lesser associates—the perpetually neurotic and weak-willed yet secretly perverted Shinji Ikari and the dolled up doll in human skin thinking she is an actual person Rei Ayanami (who secretly planned to hoard Shinji all to herself). It made her blood curdle to where she could retch at the thought of her current situation; she was losing her edge, her superiority over everyone and everything else, and she knew it—oh, how she knew and hated it. But what she hated more than any of that was how both guys she liked ended up either rejecting her because of "not being into children" or never knew how to take a hint and make a move respectively.
It was a damn shame Kaji Ryoji saw her as a child all because she was fourteen years old instead of the young woman she was; she totally would have happily shown him how grown up she really was if only he would just look at her as such and give her a chance, and if he was that worried about getting in legal trouble with a minor by the law's standards, they could just keep their relationship a secret like how his past love life with Misato was a complete secret, right? A lady like herself would never kiss and tell, after all. Truly, a damn shame he didn't take her up on multiple chances, but she was not one to back down just yet—he'd have to be dead for her to give up on him.
Still, if she absolutely had to choose someone who was in her same age group to keep her options open just in case, Shinji wasn't the worst choice in the world, and she could do infinitely worse than Shinji. Really, a loser guy like Shinji should have counted himself lucky to have been born to share the same space with such a perfect girl of mixed heritages like herself. Still, he wasn't a complete loser, after all; not just anyone could pilot an Evangelion with skill close to her own, and she still had to (begrudgingly) give credit where it was due for him to have the gall to surpass her prowess. If only he wasn't such a goddamned pansy when it came to girls—especially her, not with all of the hints she had dropped for him only to him to not get it or not try anything if he did. Worse than that was that he was very clearly a pervert too, what with the very first day she met him where he had the audacity to eye her panties after a rogue wind lifted her dress up high enough for him to see them as well as that other time where he peeped on her from the stairs as she was changing into her form-fitting plug suit—and that still was not even getting into the time she caught him with raging morning wood in bed. If he had to be a pervert, he could have at least had the decency to freaking try something after all those hints she gave him to do so. What, did she have to run at him naked and yelling for him to just do her already?
"Tch, whatever. He'll cave eventually; no guy can resist a cute little girl like me forever, after all." If she had to be completely honest with herself, though, she really did like Shinji for all of his loser traits; he was nice, mild-mannered, and was pretty honest all around to boot, and even his naked vulnerability (in the sense of his personality, mind) was actually kind of endearing to her despite herself. Good guys like him were really hard to come by, so if her and Kaji never end up working out for some reason, Asuka was more than happy to give Shinji a try. That is, of course, after he started asserting himself more and gave up chasing after that doll Rei or after she herself just got fed up with hints and just went for the jugular—whichever came first. "Mmnnrrgghh...! Phew... Better finish up and get out of here." She spent too long sitting down in this cramped little room the way she was, maybe flushed a little too much to where she knew Misato would tan her hide for running up the water bill, almost ended up practically burning through all of the toilet paper just to make sure her perfectly cute butt was perfectly clean too which Misato would also tear her a new one for, and knew without a shadow of doubt that she must have clogged the toilet up by now which, again, would most certainly earn her a stern scolding from Misato (and an irritated groan from Shinji since he was on bathroom duty this week). Looking back into the toilet bowl and wincing at the damage done, she made a point to start watching her diet more carefully from now on as well as preemptively apologize to Shinji for the work he had cut out for him once he got back.
"Hey, I'm home!" a voice called out from beyond the door. Asuka flinched, knowing exactly which devil that voice that belonged to—having spoke too soon for herself.Shit, he's back already!?Asuka wanted to hurry out as fast as she could just so Shinji wouldn't do anything dumb like walk into the bathroom while she was still in it, but responding to him now would let him know that she was in the bathroom for sure, and who knows what sort of perverted thoughts that would give him?Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit...!If Asuka thought she was burning through the toilet paper before so to speak, she was absolutely torching the last of it now in her mad dash to scrub out the whatever remaining traces of her last meal were left on her puckered-up starfish before Shinji approached and entered the bathroom to witness what she left behind for him to clean up after while she was still in while she was still in it. A few frantic wipes later and confirming her total cleanliness, Asuka shot up like lightning and bolted for the door to leave...right as Shinji was about to knock and surprising the boy. The aftermath that ensued from this chance encounter is best left to the lost dregs of history...
Said aftermath of the chance encounter which is best left to the lost dregs of history...?
... ... ... ... ...
Asuka completely froze in place like a red deer caught in the headlights of a speeding Volkswagen. Shinji, for his part, just stood there in dumb confusion for a solid second before realizing the situation where it sank in like a capsizing warship. "Oh, crap!" Shinji panicked. "S-Sorry, I didn't know you were in there! I'll, um, leave, and—agh, geez! What stinks!?" Asuka didn't know if she wanted to quietly excuse herself from the awkward moment between her and Shinji or if she wanted to maim Shinji for his tactless comment that hit too close to home for comfort—not that he could have known that she was behind what stunk when he made the comment. Her brain running on snark which she would regret immediately afterwards Asuka cut back at Shinji in exactly the way she didn't want to."Well, Shinji, you sound like the idea of girls dumping some fat deuces is new to you! I...ah shit." If only Asuka realized in time her boo-boo, sparing herself further embarrassment that she was sure to face being there with Shinji, but she could always just distract Shinji from the fact that she truly unloaded into the toilet—like with a well-placed kick to the temple for instance. But no, she had to be the bigger person here. "But yeah, that. You've got your work cut out for you today, Shinji. Try not to gag in there, got it?" Asuka could see the furrow of Shinji's brows, heard the sharp inhale through his nostrils, and watched as he closed his eyes, preparing himself for the drawn out and exaggerated groan that Asuka knew he was going to do. But...it never came. Instead, a soft sigh of resignation escaped Shinji's lips as he calmed down almost instantly.
"It's...it's no big problem, I'll get to that right away—wh-whenever you're done in there, that is." Shinji was turning to walk away to give Asuka her privacy, and never was Asuka more surprised than right then and there (aside from other various more or less surprising times). She grabbed Shinji by his shoulders and spun him around to make him face her disbelieving and slightly offended glare almost on instinct.
"Ex-cuuuuuuse me!? Not a big problem!? I freaking strangled that porcelain sucker in there, loser! You act like you can handle all of that shit no biggie!" Followed by this outburst was typical Asuka-levels of manhandling, almost throttling Shinji like he was a bobblehead.
"Asuka, come on, I—"
"Or, what, you're saying that because you WANT to get in there right away since I just finished up in there, huh!?"
"What!? Eugh, no! Why would I like seeing you do that!? Asuka, what are you—"
"What do you mean by that!? Is me cutting some crap loose in there that nasty to you, more than Misato or Rei!? Huh!?"
"Asuka, can you just stop with the mixed messages—!"
"'Mixed messages!?'"
"You! Do! This! All! The! Time!"
"Like Hell I do! Why you little...!" Asuka kept rocking Shinji back and forth for a second longer, but she considerably slowed down when Shinji's words sunk into her. Eventually, she came to a complete stop, though she didn't feel the need to let go of her grip on Shinji just yet, not until she fully processed what he just said.I give him mixed messages all the time? That's bull! Since when have I ever...Asuka really had to stop and think about that one, cutting off her current train of thought; it was the first time someone ever said she was giving them mixed messages. Shinji just said it in reference to not just what she was just arguing about with him but of everything. What sort of mixed messages was she giving him, exactly?
"Uh, Asuka...? I—"
"What kind of mixed messages was I giving you just now?" Asuka sharply cut in, cool in tone and subtly tightening her grip on Shinji without looking up to meet him in the eyes. Shinji, of course, still felt the tightening in his shoulders from what could possibly be an increasingly angry and potentially violent Asuka, audibly swallowing air and as much hesitation as he could to answer her more clearly.
"W-well, are you more mad at the idea that I seemingly dismissed how difficult it would be to unclog the toilet, the idea that I supposedly wanted to go in there because I get to be in there right after you finished, or the idea that I somehow disliked the this mental image of you having to go in there on the basis of some underlying dislike toward you that I don't have with Misato or Rei? I'm not sure what makes you more upset about this whole thing. Does that help...?" Asuka kept her eyes closed and head low, thinking over Shinji's words. In what was likely the first time in her recent memory, she thought about how she did indeed seem to flip back and forth about what she was mad about or how she had been acting one way only to take a sharp swerve into the other direction. Yeah, she was like that with everyone who ever had the opportunity to know her, but Shinji was clearly the one who took the brunt of this sort of behavior. Now that she thought about it, was this why Shinji always seemed so wishy-washy with her about whether he did or didn't like her? Granted, this was Shinji she was talking about who was skittish with everyone, but she seemed to be the person he never seemed to figure out what she was to him. And yeah, Shinji did just raise a point about how she seemed to jump between what actually made her made about his whole comment; she honestly expected him to get irritated and gripe about what he would end up having to do which would have made it much easier for Asuka to handle her own embarrassment for leaving such for him to deal with, but then he just had to be the one to take the high road and not make a fuss over it—so she had to take the low road, as usual it seemed. "Um, Asuka?" The whole time, Shinji just stood there without trying anything, waiting for Asuka to respond or do something, and he was relieved when she finally let up on her grip on him. She still didn't look him in the eye, but it was a start.
"...Just go and unclog the toilet already before Misato gets back and has a fit," Asuka finally said to Shinji, sidestepping him and walking toward her room to mull things over. Shinji was, naturally, concerned by Asuka completely cooling off the way she did since that was usually a bad sign, but he was simply relieved that she didn't seem to want to thrash him into next week for the moment. He just sighed and walked through the bathroom, just wanting to get the whole thing over with and having forgotten something really important that he actually wanted to say to Asuka when he got back. Oh well, he'd remember it eventually. As for Asuka herself, she hadn't left the area entirely, lingering around to see if Shinji had gone inside of the bathroom already to just unclog the damned toilet already. Standing there for a good couple of seconds, she waited. Sure enough, she got what she wanted to hear—Shinji's screaming of disbelief upon seeing the monster she left behind for him followed up by the irritated groan that she was denied just moments before and topped of with him yelling, "Oh, come on! What the hell, Asuka!?". Snickering to herself, she finally made her way to her room proper to wait for Shinji to finish and likely come to gripe to her later.
Classic Shinji. Enjoy being a part of the clean-up crew, loser!
... ... ... ... ...
In the interim of Shinji being in the bathroom and unclogging the toilet, Asuka laid on her bed idly twiddling with her hair out of boredom. It would be some time before Misato and Pen Pen came back home. The only thing a girl could do in that time was just lay up and ruminate, and ruminate she did; much to her own surprise, Shinji opened up her eyes to the fact that she swung around too much in going from one mood to the next or jumped from conclusion to conclusion to conclusion to, well, she could go on. Still, for Shinji to say that she always gave him mixed messages about everything was cause for some small matter of concern. She was dead sure that she made some of her opinions and intentions toward him as clear as can possibly be, at least during the times where Shinji was not dense enough to get them. What more did he need from her, for her to just up and tell him what she wanted from him and what she felt towards him? Perhaps...that was exactly what Asuka needed to do. Sure, she was guilty of pussyfooting around what she wanted from Shinji, but even so, Shinji should have at least made some sort of attempt to do or say something to her, or was it because he wasn't sure about the two of them being an item or that he may have been gravitating more towards Rei? That she wasn't going to let happen, bloody determined to not lose out to some doll. Maybe Shinji was right—Asuka was never completely clear about wanting him, alternating between violent mood swings with just about all manner of vitriol and between trying to get him to do something with her, and that's why Shinji never did anything. It became increasingly clear that he was never going to make the first move, so Asuka had to be the one to wear the pants in their relationship and advance things herself. Eyes narrowed with dangerous intent and jaw squared in determination, Asuka rose from her bed and slowly made her way toward the bathroom to see if Shinji was still in there.
As for Shinji, Asuka was not lying when she said that he had his work cut out for him; how Asuka managed to almost effectively destroy the only toilet they had in the house was beyond him, but many things about her was already beyond him—this being only the latest in a long string of things he could never hope to begin to understand about her. Still, he toughed this task out like a (wannabe) champ and managed not to vomit after having gagged more times than he cared to keep track of just unclogging the toilet. Disinfecting the plunger was, by comparison, a cakewalk—having scrambled back and forth throughout the apartment looking for some sort of disinfectant before finding one under Misato's bed alongside other things he dared not mention. As for the toilet paper, he knew he would have to just wait for Misato to come back and let her know about the three of them needing to go out and get more when they went shopping. Speaking of, he wondered what she was up to out and about; knowing her, she may have been up to something with the other NERV personnel or Kaji...
...
Ah, right. Kaji...
That's what he wanted to bring up to Asuka when he got back. Man, oh man, was Asuka going to flip her shit completely and go ballistic. Sighing, Shinji put the plunger back where it went and shuffled his way toward the door, heart heavy and eyes crestfallen as he mentally prepared himself on how to break the news to Asuka and how to deal with the aftermath. Just as he reached the door, before he could even reach for and twist the knob, he found himself suddenly face-to-face with Asuka who seemed to glare ice-cold daggers at him as she more or less threw the door open. Taken aback by the sudden action, Shinji backed up and held his hands up in some attempt to placate whatever foul mood Asuka happened to be in this time.
"Uh, hey, Asuka, what's happening...?" Shinji said, keeping a safe distance between him and Asuka and waiting for the inevitable explosion. Nothing. She only took small, calculated step after calculated step, closing the distance that Shinji desperately wanted to maintain between them and forcing him on the back foot. The moment she stepped inside, she shut the door behind her with a kick and locked the doorknob while not once taking her eyes off of Shinji before resuming her advance. At some point, she stepped on something soft and fabricy, sparing only a brief downward glance to see that it was her own white panties that she forgot to put back on before leaving the bathroom for Shinji to clean after, left right in the same spot she had carelessly left them in. Shinji happened to notice too, surprised that Asuka's underwear was on the floor and putting the mental image of Asuka in her yellow dress in his mind where the wind gusted from under her and lifted her dress to reveal her bare—
"Look at me, Shinji," Asuka cut in, cutting Shinji's daydream short and forcing his attention on her once again. She looked even more pissed than when she just walked in literally seconds ago.
"O-Okay, I'm looking..." Shinji was hella afraid of breaking eye contact with Asuka again out of fear that she'd look at him with intent to seriously kill him if he did so again. This kept him from seeing Asuka grasp her panties in-between her toes and bring her foot up to her hands where she took her panties into them. Again, she started her advance toward him, making Shinji back up all the way to the toilet, and once Shinji was right where Asuka wanted him, she finally stopped.
"Sit." Shinji realized that he was standing in front of the toilet, and he quickly lowered the seat cover before slowly setting himself down upon it, maintaining that eye contact Asuka wanted. "Look at this, Shinji." Asuka held her hands up and hooked her fingers between the gaps and thin parts of her white panties. Asuka saw the reddest flush she had ever seen on Shinji's face the moment he laid eyes on her panties, the same ones she wore on the day she met him after coming to Japan in that yellow dress. She knew he remembered that infamous moment that she charged Shinji "viewing fee" for it. Said panties weren't spotless, having the faintest of dampness in their center from when Asuka herself had been having certain daydreams of Shinji before having gone to the bathroom. Then, out of nowhere, Asuka shoved her hands into Shinji's face, still holding her panties in them and making him flinch from the sudden movement. "Remember these?"
"Uh, y-yeah," Shinji answered, unsure of why Asuka asked but not wanting to lie. "Kind of hard not to..."
"Of course YOU wouldn't forget it, you little perv. Bet you wanted to know what they smelled like being worn by someone like me."
"I...what?"
"Go on. Take a whiff." Shinji had to look back up at Asuka to see if she was dead serious: she was, having never lessened that icy glare. A brief moment of hesitation over whether Asuka was testing him to see if he would do it or not made that icy glare drop a degree or two, and Shinji knew she was quickly running out of patience. Inhaling to steel himself, Shinji reached with his hands to grab Asuka's panties as she held her hands out for him to take them. Another pause of silence later, the *ahem* was all Shinji needed to hear to get on with it already. He held the fabric up to his nostrils and took a tentative whiff at the center of Asuka's slightly dampened panties. Despite the dampness, they smelled freshly washed like Asuka had literally put them on straight out of the dryer "How do they smell?" came Asuka's question.
"They...smell like they were just washed."
"That's it?"
"Y-yeah, that's it.
"Lick them."
"Wha-what the—!?"
"Lick. Them." Shinji honest-to-God could not believe what he was hearing, and he just had to look up at Asuka to see if she was completely serious about it. There it was again, that same cold stare she had on her face the whole time she barged in on him before he could leave.
"Okay, as you wish..." Shinji opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out, reaching for the damp center of Asuka's panties. Again, he hesitated, but he banished whatever reservations he had left and did as Asuka told him to do, dragging his tongue along the surface of Asuka's underwear. He wasn't sure what it was that Asuka was expecting from him, having him sniff and lick her underwear, but Shinji was not about to ask questions and just let it be to get this whole thing over with. For her part, Asuka may have had a killer's look on her face, but on the inside, she couldn't have been both more embarrassed and turned on by watching what she was making Shinji do. Shinji, the meekest guy she knew, had sniffed her panties, was licking them as if he was trying to figure out how the aroused fluids she left on them tasted—trying to taste her. By God, Asuka never knew she needed to see this until now, and she felt a sense of accomplishment on some level at getting Shinji to do something so freaky and perverted. Still, she had to know if Shinji could actually taste anything in there; she hoped that he didn't, needing an excuse for what she was about to do next.
"Well? What does it taste like?" Asuka demanded.
"I...well...I don't really...know..." Shinji just wanted to know what Asuka was getting at with all of this, what her game was. "I'm not sure if it's the fabric I'm tasting or if that's the leftover from being dried off, but that's all I can really say."
"So you can't smell or taste anything that would smell or taste like ME?"
"I...don't really know what you smell or taste like, especially not, well..." That was exactly everything Asuka wanted Shinji to say, but maybe that was too obvious in the end. Whatever, she thought; it didn't matter. Whether or not Shinji could discern what she smelled or tasted like, what was coming next would be the ultimate clincher to finally kick off this little game she was dying to play with Shinji.
"Shinji, look at me," Asuka commanded, and like that, Shinji looked up at her face again. By now, she decided to drop the "I'll fucking kill you" look and just opted to have her face in its natural position—that is, the resting bitch face. Such was a relief for Shinji, not having to deal with that anxiety, only for that to not last long when Asuka said, "Lower." Instinctively, his eyes fell upon her breasts; they were modest mounds that Asuka took considerable pride in as a sign of her "womanhood", certainly the objects of many other guys' lust. "Lower," Asuka said again, able to tell that her chest was being ogled, and with that, Shinji's eyes sank until they were level with Asuka's waist which was in his face. Asuka internally debated with herself, nearly flaking out with cold feet at the last second and wanting out just in case she would end up regretting this whole thing. The part of her that wanted to stop before things escalated was quickly knocked the hell out by the part of her that wanted to do this already. No more pussyfooting around this, no more beating around the bush, no more hints, no more figures of speech that'll fly over your fucking head—You. Are. Going. To. Fucking. LOOK. At. Me. Shinji. No more doubt in her mind to hold her back, Asuka was ready to cross over the border of no return and dive headfirst into the event horizon with Shinji. She took her hands, steady and sure, and pinched at the bottom of her yellow dress with her fingers before she lifted it up past her navel in one fluid motion.
Shinji gasped in shock, reeling from the sight as his face heated up so many degrees of red. Asuka lifted her dress in front of him, presenting to him her naked pelvic region. There sat a budding stubble of orange pubic hair above her vulva that heralded the onset of puberty emerging, and her vulva had tucked away her a considerable amount of her labia minora within her labia majora, but her clitoris was still visible enough for Shinji to see without getting too close or squinting his eyes, and Shinji could see that Asuka was well and truly aroused from how her labia minors was slightly puffy and glistened very slightly. This was no dream—nothing like the fantasies he had during both his sleeping and waking hours; this wasn't Misato cheekily flashing him some cheesecake as she prepared to teach him how to properly please a woman, and it wasn't Rei shyly confessing her love for him and wanting to consummate their relationship as best partners for life either. This was all none other than Asuka Langley Sohryu asserting her dominance over Shinji like some sort of German Kaiser princess or some rich American mogul's prom queen daughter. It was the forbidden fruit being dangled in front of him which took every ounce of restraint for him to not immediately dive in just to taste it. Alas, he did not have enough restraint in him to not slowly reach out for and caress Asuka's hips out of curiosity to feel her softness. At Shinji's inability to hold himself back and reach out to touch her, taking her silence as the green light to touch her just a little and not get too frisky right away, Asuka cracked the most self-satisfied grin she could ever remember making mixed with a hint of something dangerous and animalistic smoldering in her eyes; it was at this moment Asuka knew she owned Shinji. Misato, Rei, that one girl whose name she couldn't be bothered to remember—they could all suck it and cry about it all they wanted, but she laid claim to Shinji like this. In fact, Asuka was all too eager to make sure that they all knew it; all she had to do was to make sure Shinji knew it too.
"Look at you," Asuka said, calling Shinji out from his stupor. "You just couldn't keep your hands off of me, could you, you starved mutt?" Shinji looked up, fully expecting Asuka to have the most disgusted look on her face, but what he saw may have been much worse instead; if Shinji thought that a pissed off Asuka who looked ready to blow her top at any moment was scary, imagine, then, his newfound terror when he saw that she looked down upon him like a black widow that just caught her next meal and eyed it with ravenous delight. Shinji realized that his impulsive putting his hands on Asuka's hips condemned him to whatever ploy Asuka was thinking of—he walked right into the spider's parlor. He wasn't about to be some light snack for Asuka either, oh no; he was about to be her full-course hot dinner, and she was about to take her time fully savoring him as she devoured him piece by piece then pick his bones clean.
"That's fine, though; go ahead and touch me all you want, because I'll make sure that you won't ever want to touch another lady again for as long as you live, or, failing that, make sure that you'll regret ever looking at another lady like that again. You won't even dream about another girl by the time I'm through with you."
"A-Asuka...? I—"
"No, Shinji. Not after all the hints I've been throwing your way, not after this—If you start going on about Misato or especially her, I swear to God—"
"I wasn't about to say anything about them—promise!" If only he didn't stupidly hesitate and make Asuka think he was about to flake on her now of all times and then run off toward another girl, and he regretted it because it made Asuka go from looking like she was about to enjoy eating him alive to looking like she was a hair's breadth away from viciously ripping him apart out of barely contained rage. Yes, he did find Misato attractive enough to fantasize about her and doubted that he'd stop so soon, and he did have some feelings for Rei, complicated feelings he didn't fully understand but very much wanted to pursue, but he wasn't about to run out on Asuka and then go and do this song and dance again with another girl when he also has very complicated hot-and-cold feelings for Asuka that he didn't remotely understand but wanted to try and pursue all the same. Somewhat well-earned reputation of being cravenly and wishy-washy he may have had, he wasn't that cravenly or wishy-washy, and he wanted Asuka to know that.
"Asuka, c-can I say something?" Asuka's eyes narrowed with the clear warning for Shinji to make it quick and to choose his words carefully, making Shinji take an audible nervous gulp for air to swallow down any bad habits he had that'd screw this whole thing up. "I didn't know if you actually, well...liked me. I'm not good at picking up hints, especially when it looks like we might be friends one second only for you to hate me in the next second. If you really want this—want ME—then I'll stay with you. I just...want to know if this is going to be a real thing between us that we'll be doing for...I guess until we..."
"Until we 'what'?"
"Until we...um...get...m-married...?"
...
Whoa
..."Married", Shinji said.
That changed everything.
Asuka's face betrayed her, displaying her shock in full for Shinji to see, clearly not having expected him to say such a thing. Shinji didn't know what to make of Asuka's shock whether it was a good or bad sign from her expression alone, but he waited for her to gather her thoughts before saying anything else. Asuka took her time to process Shinji's rather sudden confession; she knew that there was some level of feelings Shinji had for her, but to hear him say that he had enough feelings for her to seriously consider marrying her? It was childish in how Shinji just threw it out, sure, but more surprising than his sudden admission to wanting it was that it worked; it was the thought that counted most, and deep down, it made her feel like a princess who finally found her prince charming-to-be. Asuka wanted to say something, anything, to make Shinji swear that he meant every last word that she didn't want him to take back, but staring at him in shock all day wasn't going to cut it, not when he stared back at her expecting her answer. It was clearly her turn to respond now.
Don't fuck it up, don't fuck it up, don't fuck it up, don't fuck it up...
"Shinji..." Asuka started, finding words coming to her at last, "you're really asking for my hand...in marriage?"
And at her words, Shinji flinched.
VERDAMMT NOCH MAL! FICK MICH! Asuka didn't mean to come across as disbelieving and cold to Shinji's likely awkwardly heartfelt words when she asked for his sincerity, it just came to her like second nature. No wonder he never tried anything with her.
"I—I am, Asuka...!" Shinji blurted out, worried that he wasn't sincere enough. "I-I promise that I'll stay faithful to you and not go after or look at other girls like you want me to!"
...
Well now
That was quite a promise Shinji was making to Asuka already. She couldn't believe how Shinji was now the one basically throwing himself at her; it more than made up for her slip up before, and seeing Shinji this sincere and desperate in professing how he felt about Asuka stoked that fire in her again. She wasn't about to hide her excitement, and Shinji found some relief feeling like he said the right thing even if Asuka was starting to creep him out again. Now Asuka could have fun with this again, wanting to push the envelope Shinji handed to her and see how devoted to her he could be.
"You know, Shinji," Asuka started, "that was a sweet confession, but you know...you're proposing to a princess here." And there it was. Just like that, Shinji knew where this was headed. It was classic Asuka-levels of posturing, something he was all too familiar with on the battlefield, and it half put him at ease and half worried him. "Not just any regular old princess—a Königstochter of the finest international pedigree. A meager vow like that normally wouldn't cut it, especially not after you laid your hands upon my flawless figure, Shinji." So said Asuka, but she struggled saying all of that with a straight face and tried not to let her blush show. Shinji, for all his denseness, picked up on that very quickly, and he didn't know if he should laugh (potentially before Asuka and set her off or after her to laugh with her) or sigh in eye-rolling resignation to have the good ol' day one Asuka back. "I'm going to need you to prove just how devoted you are to me."
"And...what do I have to do for that...?" Shinji almost regretted asking because all it did was make Asuka smile even more pompously. She took a step back, not letting go of her dress but giving Shinji some breathing room for the brief moment. She did shift her weight a little as she put one leg in front of the other one, pointing a foot in Shinji's direction. Somehow, he knew that it would involve this sooner or later, and he just braced himself for what Asuka would say next.
"Get on your knees, Shinji, and beg."
... ... ... ... ...
To be continued...
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