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The Time For Change Is Now	By : Reika Category: +. to F > FAKE Views: 3033 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own FAKE, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue.
A/N: Okay�I know this is right on the heels of the last chapter, but I figured I�d better get it over with. *winces*
One note: READ THE AUTHOR�S NOTE AT THE END!
I repeat:
READ THE AUTHOR�S NOTE AT THE END!!
Thank you.

Chapter 10��..Problem #3 When We Falter.

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�Son of a bitch!�
Dee realized, only after stepping out onto the street, that he had left his jacket draped across a bar stool. He debated going back in for it but a replay flash of JJ writhing about caused him to keep walking. He didn�t really know where he was headed, but he knew this area of town fairly well and figured he would know when he got there.
He thought about heading to Ryo�s but it occurred to him that he�d only just seen him that morning and it might be too soon after their less than pleasant parting. He didn�t want Ryo to think he was pushing him. Stopping for a moment, he fished around in his pants pocket for his pack of cigarettes and took out the last one, shoving the crumpled and crooked vice into his mouth. He continued walking, and sonougnough had worked himself into such a state that the cold no longer bothered him.
He couldn�t figure out why he had reacted the way he did at the bar, or worse, why it bothered him so much. Something in his head refused to let go of the idea that such thoughts were adulterous, and that he�d betrayed Ryo. It perturbed him further that he couldn�t shake that feeling. He wondered why it felt that way. He loved Ryo, he could readily admit it�but�they were not, and had never been �together�. Ryo had brought a woman to Drake�s party, and god knows what he was going to do now, in his quest for answers. He wasn�t stupid, contrary to what some might have believed, and he knew his situation with JJ would come to a head at *some* point in time. He had just assumed that it would be as it always had � he would let JJ down, albeit more gently than before.
He thought about all the time that they were spending together, and JJ certainly seemed to understand him better than Ryo. JJ had to know that he was just a replacement for Ryo�at first. But lately it had abo about more than that. He enjoyed the man�s company and complete acceptance. He liked his childlike smile when something made him happy and the little mewling noises he made when he slept. He liked the light in his eyes when he was excited and, more so, he liked that *he* was the cause of that light. Dee had to wonder if he *wanted* to let JJ down.
But exploring this thing with JJ would have its consequences. It would ruin any chance he had with Ryo, and Dee knew it. The trouble was�he didn�t know if he even *had* a chance with Ryo, and after wasting two years chasing after him Dee didn�t think he had it in him to go another two or even one. There was no way to know how long it would take Ryo to figure out what it was he wanted. Even if he did figure some things out, how long would it take him to be *comfortable* with another man? Would he *always* possess such a passionless outlook on all things sexual? And Dee had to wonder�could he afford to let someone who he genuinely liked, someone who understood and actually *loved* him just slip through his fingers?
He more than liked JJ, his head told him that much. His groin, who up until then he�d maintained a working relationship with, liked him as well and wasn�t about to let that fact go unnoticed. But what did that mean about Ryo? Did it lessen what he felt for his former partner at all? Because, to Dee, it felt as strong as ever.
Flicking his cigarette onto the pavement, Dee expelled the last of the smoke from his lungs and sighed. Dee knew that if Ryo weren�t an issue he would have no problem embracing JJ�s affections � but such thoughts were pointless because Ryo *was* an issue and Dee wasn�t sure he would want it any other way. Still, he wondered, would being with JJ be so bad?
Annoyed and feeling a headache coming on Dee gave up the idea of being sober and stepped into a semi-quiet sports bar. He could catch a cab home, or wherever he ended up, as he had left his car at JJ�s. He spent the next hour yelling at the TV (along with everyone else) during the late replay of the Knicks game and sucking back a few more beers. When the game ended he decided that he just wanted to go home. He paid his tab and set out again into the cold night air only to realize that he�d left his keys at JJ�s as well. At the time he hadn�t seen any reason that he wouldn�t return to get them. Without his keys he couldn�t get into his apartment.
At first he thought about going to Ryo�s. He could just explain the situation and ask politely to sleep on the couch. No, he decided, that idea was no good. Not only was it approaching two in the morning but he didn�t really fancy telling Ryo that he couldn�t get his keys because he�d gone to a gay club with JJ and had to scurry out because the sniper was turning him on. He�d be lucky not to lose an eye for that one. Ryo had a jealous streak in him, which was a marvel to Dee since it was the *only* streak he seemed to have. He even noticed the slight jealousy when Rose turned his attention elsewhere. That had always pissed Dee off, of course, but he figured that maybe Ryo needed the extra attention. Maybe that rat-bastard of a commissioner gave Ryo something that he simply couldn�t. Of course Ryo got jealous over him as well, which seemed a blessing at first. Later, however, it frustrated Dee that Ryo could be so cold if he thought his attention strayed yet still refused to return his affections.
Dee realized he only really had one option. Well�two, but he didn�t much like the idea of paying for a hotel room.
He had to go back to JJ�s.
With a grimace, he hailed a cab and gave the driver the directions. He knew where JJ kept his spare key (noting that he too should get a spare) and hopefully the other man wouldn�t be in yet. He could just slip in, grab his keys and head home to get some sleep before work in the morning.
The cab pulled up and Dee told the driver to wait, that he would be right back down. When he reached the appropriate door he found the spare key and inserted it into the lock. He�d only just turned the doorknob when the door swung all the way open and he found himself with an armful of JJ. The smaller man almost knocked him over with his fierce hug, both his arms wrapped about his neck.
�JJ � � � �
�I was so worried about you! I was out looking for hours and I couldn�t find you; I thought something happened!�
Dee pried the other man off of him and ran his hand through his hair. �No JJ, I just needed�some air.�
He closed his eyes, feeling a bit guilty for worrying his friend. His lashes had only just graced his cheeks though before his eyes snapped open. He�d been slapped across the face rather hard.
�What the hell?� Dee questioned, shocked.
�What the hell is right! What were you thinking just taking off like that? One minute you were at the bar and next you were headed out the door. I tried to catch you but you were long gone when I got there. Did it not occur to you that I might worry, or how very rude it is to just ditch someone like that?!?�
Rubbing his cheek, Dee sighed. �You�re right. I�m�sorry. I went for a walk. I just needed to think and I couldn�t think in there.�
JJ steppedo tho the apartment and held the door open, signaling for Dee to follow. �Come on in�I have your jacket.�
Dee did come in, but stayed near the door. �I left my keys here, too. I have a cab waiting downstairs�so��
Dee heard a jingling noise as his jacket was thrown at him and soon his keys followed suit. They might have hit him if he hadn�t caught them with his superb reflexes. He was about to turn and head out the door when JJ spoke up from the other side of the room.
�Did you?�
He stopped. �Did I what?�
�Think.�
Dee relaxed a bit. �Yeah�didn�t really come up with much though.�
�Look,� JJ started �you know you can talk to me, right? If you need to talk you can stay�even if it�s about��
JJ didn�t finish, but Dee knew where he was headed. He could only imagine how much it must�ve pained him to offer. After all, he wouldn�t be thrilled about listening to Ryo pine over someone else. He found himself admiring JJ for his willingness to listen, even though he wasn�t about to discuss with him what had run through his mind earlier.
�That�s alright JJ. It�s late�we both have to work in the morning.�
JJ moved closer to him and his voice was softer than before. It more like the voice Dee had gotten used to hearing. �I know something�s bothering you and I think you should deal with it. I already told you that you could talk about Ryo if you need to. I mean�who else are you gonna talk to?�
Dee found his voice raising, though he hadn�t meant for it to. �It�s not that simple! Why does everyone assume that every time something is wrong with me it�s because of Ryo? Am I worth so little without him?�
JJ moved even closer, closing the door. Dee had noticed his state of half-dress upon his arrival but hadn�t paid much attention with being slapped and all. But now the other man was standing very close to him in nothing but a pair of flannel pajama bottoms. Luckily, he didn�t get to think on this too long, because JJ spoke up.
�You should know better than to question your value with me. I�m sorry for jumping to conclusions. Sit down; I�ll bring you some water. It�ll help you sober up.�
Dee sat, obediently, as JJ slipped into the kitchen to pour a glass of water. He thrust it into Dee�s hands and headed for his bedroom.
�I�d only just gotten in when you got here. Let me put some more clothes on�
JJ returned, clad now in a long sleeve shirt with his pajama pants. He still smelled like cigarette smoke and sweat, not having showered yet. Silence fell over them before Dee finally spoke.
�You seem pretty sober, considering how much you had before I left.�
JJ scowled. �Well I ran more than a few blocks trying to find you. I sweat most of it out and what was left I think I worried away. The room is still a little fuzzy though.�
�Sorry about that.� Dee said quietly.
�So� the younger man began before sitting next to Dee on the sofa �what�s eating at you?�
�Nothing I care to discuss.� Dee�s tone warned JJ not to argue.
�Fino yoo you want a blanket or something? I�m sure you were freezing out there without your jacket.�
�Sure� Dee replied before JJ got up to grab a blanket from his bedroom.
When the sniper returned and the blanket was snuggly wrapped around Dee�s shoulders he tried to think of something else to talk about.
�I�m sorry if I ruined your night, JJ. You looked like you were having fun, too.�
�I was�but it wasn�t that important. I still had a nice time while we were there.�
Dee heard himself let out a sound that was an odd hybrid of a snort and a laugh. �Yeah I know. That guy looked like he was going to mount you right there.�
JJ raised an eyebrow; he hadn�t known Dee was watching him. �Really? I didn�t notice.� He said sarcastically.
Dee mimicked his raised brow. �Seriously though. You guys looked ready to�leave�sorry if I messed anything up for you.�
�No� JJ replied absently �I try not to do that anymore.�
�Anymore?�
JJ leaned back onto the arm of the sofa, sticking his socked feet underneath Dee to warm his toes. �Yeah. I used to make that kind of thing a habit, you know.� He laughed a little at the memory. �Half the time I had no clue where I was when I woke up.�
�Really?� Dee asked, a little surprised. �You�d just go home with whoever?�
�Well, no, not really. I�m pretty picky I�ll have you know. I�d usually pick someone out early in the evening and then worm my way into their bed�not that I ever remembered much of it, though.�
Dee started a bit when JJ�s toes wiggled underneath him. �Worm your way? Just how do you manage that?�
JJ interlocked his fingers and placed his hands behind his head in a makeshift pillow �I was pretty badly behaved back then. Believe it or not, I was usually the one making promises and saying sweet things and then running off quietly in the morning.�
�Is that so?� Dee asked. He was purposefully ignoring the fact that thinking of JJ having so many lovers bothered him. �I never imagined you to be so�dominate�I guess.�
JJ gazed pointedly at him. �I�m not.�
It took Dee a moment to figure out just what he had meant. When he realized what it was JJ was referring to he snapped his mouth shut to keep from inserting his foot.
�Besides� JJ cut in before another silence took over the conversation �I haven�t really done much of that since the Academy. I mean, I�ve had a few slip ups�but for the most part I�ve kept myself fairly well behaved. Sometimes I do miss it though�the freedom of it all.� He sounded somewhat wistful and all was quiet for a brief moment. Snapping back to reality he added with a laugh �Not to mention I haven�t gotten laid in a *really* long time.�
Dee snorted before pointing a finger at him. �You�ll get *no* sympathy from me.�
�God� JJ started, thinking back �It�s been�what�six months? I�d lost track.�
�Six months, Ha! Try two years!�
JJ�s eyes got huge and he held up a hand to his mouth. �Are you serious?�
Dee blew the hair out of his eyes. �As a fuckin� heart attack.�
�Oh my god.� JJ said lamely. He couldn�t imagine going through two years of celibacy. It only made him angrier that Dee was willing to go to such lengths for Ryo and the other man couldn�t even appreciate his devotion. JJ was sure Ryo had most likely been abstinent as well, since he had the libido of cardboard, but Dee was different. He hadn�t even known Dee very long when he�d figured out that the man was extremely sexual in nature.
�Hey, JJ?�
�Yeah?� he answered distractedly, still lost in thought.
�Is it alright if I smoke in here? Since you picked up my jacket I have another pack of cigarettes.�
�Sure. Let me get you an ashtray.�
Dee nodded as JJ went into the kitchen and retrieved a small glass ashtray from a cabinet.
�Why do you have one of these? I thought you didn�t smoke.�
�I don�t. But I used to. Kind of went with that whole �partying� thing.�
�Ah� Dee said around his cigarette, which was resting at the corner of his mouth. He fished out his lighter and tilted his head to the side as he lit it, cupping the flame with his other hand. The light made the flecks of gold in his green eyes dance, and with his head tilted, his ink black hair fell just into his eyes.
JJ noticed how incredibly masculine and sexy he looked, but found his thoughts still wandering back to the incredulous news Dee had shared with him. He thought on it, staring into space.
Dee saw his friend leering and snapped his fingers in front of his face. �Why are you zoning out?� He asked him as he sat back onto the sofa.
�Sorry Sempai.� The silver haired man answered. �I was just thinking�two years�damn. Are you sure it even still works?� He sounded more sarcastic than cynical.
Dee growled and shot smoke out of his nose. �Hey! I�ll have you know it works just fine! I like to think of it like a classic car � spends most of the time in the garage or getting waxed and only comes out for special occasions.�
JJ laughed so hard he thought he might asphyxiate. Soon Dee joined him and they were both wiping tears out of their eyes. �Yeah� he said, still twitching with mirth �I guess that analogy was a little rough.�
JJ�s laughs died down too and when he caught his breath he let out a happy sigh. �I�d say it�s more like a �57 Jaguar XK SS Roadster. Extremely rare�almost unattainable.�
Dee�s cigarette almost fell out of his mouth at both the compliment and the fact that JJ even knew about such a rare car. �Thanks�I think.�
JJ quirked a brow and fixed him with a glare. �You think? That is an extremely rare car. They only made sixteen of them. Steve McQueen had one.�
Dee flicked the ashes from his cigarette. �I didn�t know you were such a car enthusiast.�
JJ grinned. �I�m not. I *am* a Steve McQueen enthusiast though.� He followed his comment with a purring sound.
�You know he�s dead, right?�
�Yes I know he�s dead! Besides�if he weren�t he�d be in his seventies. I mean, I like older men and all � � JJ winked at him � � but no. Even I have standards.�
Dee grinned back at him. �Well at least you have good taste. Although he was a little rugged for my tastes he *was* pretty cool.�
JJ crossed the distance between them, sitting on the coffee table and in front of Dee. He had a feral look in his eyes. �You�re pretty cool too, you know.�
Dee said nothing, and neither did JJ for what seemed like a very long time. When the tension was too much to ignore Dee gave a pained sigh and stubbed his cigarette out. �Why does that always happen? We were just sitting here, being friends��
JJ reared back a bit, as if he�d been stung. �Sure, we�re friends, but don�t think for one second that it changes how I feel.�
Dee grunted, wondering why he�d even brought it up. �I just don�t know why it always has to come back to this. Nothing is ever simple��
JJ�s voice rose as he stood from his position. �Nothing worth anything ever is. Did you think that just because we became friends I�d stop feeling the way I do about you? After I got to know you even better than before? What kind of sense does that make?�
Dee stood as well, towering over JJ briefly before looking for his keys. �*Nothing* makes sense anymore.�
He�d said it more to himself than to JJ, but JJ definitely heard it.
�What does that mean?�
Dee found his keys and made a beeline for the door. �Nothing important. I need to go�it�s late.�
�Since when do you run away?� JJ practically yelled from the other end of the room.
�Since I got so damn confu � � Dee stopped himself from saying anything else. He had to leave. Immediately. Five minutes ago would have been better. �I�ll see you tomorrow, JJ.� He said lamely before pulling his jacket on and turning away. His hand had just touched the doorknob when he heard JJ behind him.
The words �Fuck *that*� reached his ears a nanosecond before another pair of lips assaulted his own. Dee�s eyes widened to the size of saucers and he realized that he should probably pull away. However, when a warm tongue snaked out and ran across his bottom lip he felt his resolve weaken dramatically. Just as he might have been regaining his wits he felt JJ�s hand move up into his hair and when the other man�s nails scratched against his scalp before gripping his hair and tugging ever so slightly he felt all tenacity leave him.
He growled deep in his throat and returned the pressure at his mouth with equal force. He lifted JJ�s weight easily, the silver haired man�s feet leaving the ground as he was pressed roughly into the door.
When JJ�s back hit the cold surface he wrapped his legs around Dee�s waist instinctively. Dee groaned at the sensation which, in turn, caused JJ to whimper. The larger man withdrew slowly, catching JJ�s bottom lip between his teeth and drawing it out. When his lip was free JJ threw his head back and didn�t care when it smacked against the door.
Dee moved his mouth down JJ�s jaw and further to his neck. When he reached the pale column, he bit at it causing the hand buried in his hair to tighten. When he began to soothe the bites with the slickness of his tongue, JJ�s hand loosened its grip on his hair and slipped down to his chest. He pushed Dee�s jacket open and slid his palms up to his broad shoulders, wanting to get rid of it completely.
Dee complied, lifting his knee to help take JJ�s weight as he switched arms until the jacket came off and pooled in the floor. JJ took the opportunity to lift the other man�s shirt up over his head while his position allowed it.
JJ�s breath caught when he leaned back against the door to look at Dee. He was strong and tanned and so incredibly defined. His skin felt soft, despite his hard appearance. He was smooth, except for the slim trail of dark hair starting underneath his navel and heading southward to pleasures yet unknown. It was so much more than perfect and so very very intense that for JJ it was almost�surr Dee Dee smelled as he did in JJ�s mind, like aftershave and cigarettes�masculine. Needing to know that this wasn�t another one of his dreams he leaned forward and attacked Dee�s lips again, and their tongues made contact before their mouths did.
Dee ran one hand up from JJ�s hip to his waist. He pushed it around to his back and felt warm flesh there, as his pajama pants had slipped down a considerably. His fingers danced for a moment, drawing circles on the small of JJ�s back before his palm flattened and he ran it up along the his spine.
JJ moaned into the kiss as he felt Dee�s hands run along his back. They were rough and large and left his skin burning everywhere they touched. He was hindered, however, by the doorknob pressing harshly into him. He warred internally over whether or not to suggest they take their activities elsewhere, terrified he might break whatever spell Dee was under. Finally, after he was sure he�d bruised his spine, he tore himself away from the marathon kiss. Before speaking, though, he moved one hand back into the black hair of his partner and pulled softly to the side. Dee groaned and followed the movement, his head tilting and baring his neck. JJ swooped in, running his nose along the pulse and darting his tongue out to lick just behind Dee�s ear. The larger man cried out softly, tilting his head back � wanting more. JJ used the opportunity to speak in between kisses to the same spot.
�I think *kiss* that we *lick* should probably *suck* move this to the *bite* bedroom.�
Dee heard a tiny voice tell him no, that it wasn�t a smart idea, but a much larger one from somewhere south of his brain told the first voice to shut the fuck up.
Dee didn�t reply with words; he lifted JJ by his hips and stumbled into the bedroom with the sniper still wrapped around his waist.
JJ blindly swatted a hand at the light switch, plunging the room into darkness. He used the same hand to swing the door shut and soon the two were illuminated only by the pale blue of the New York City moon. When he noticed that Dee was heading for the bed, he wiggled out from his grasp, sliding to the floor.
He found his legs a bit wobbly after not standing on them for several minutes. Kneeling as elegantly as he could, JJ slipped down until he was on one knee. He ran his hands up along the tanned and muscular torso in front of him before curling his fingers and dragging his nails back down. Dee made a whimpering noise and leaned one arm out to brace himself against the wall. JJ was glad that Dee seemed not to notice or mind the shaking of his hands. He�d never had trouble steadying them before, but now they were trembling as though he were freezing. He shrugged off his own shirt, pulling it over his arms and tossing it to the side.
Dee told himself that he should back out now, before it was too late. But every time he opened his mouth to say �stop� something else would come out. A groan or growl or some other sound of pleasure. It felt *so* good and he hadn�t been touched in so long. More than the somersaults his long denied libido was doing, Dee simply had forgotten what it felt like to be loved. The only mother he had known he�d had to share with many other children and Dee had always relied on his lovers to provide the intimacy he craved. It had been too long since anyone had touched him that way.
Dee looked down at his lithe partner. He was pale, but not sickly. His frame was smaller than Dee�s own, but it suited him well. His chest was nearly flat, and his abs were toned as were his shoulders and arms, but not overly so. His hair was a bit wild from having pulled his shirt over his head and a lock of dark silver fell into his face. As Dee kept his eyes trained on him, JJ reached forward, wrapping his hands around the taller man�s hips. With his thumbs pressed into the front of his hipbones and his fingers pressing into his lower back just above his low slung jeans, JJ pulled forward, moving Dee�s hips towards him.
The movement was slow, deliberate, controlled. When he stopped pulling, he kissed Dee�s stomach, causing the other man to gasp. The kisses moved lower, until he could dart his tongue into Dee�s bellybutton. JJ felt the dark hair tickle his bottom lip and chuckled slightly, moving the tip of his nose along the taut stomach before him. He pressed into Dee�s hips again, hard, and pulled his jeans down on one side so that he could suck on his hipbone.
�God� Dee managed to sound out before gripping JJ by the hair and pulling him away.
Immediately JJ pulled back, terrified. �What�s wrong?� His voice was almost a whisper.
Dee tugged at him, coaxing him to stand. �Keep that up and this�ll be over before it even begins. Two years, remember?�
JJ sighed in relief and hooked a finger through Dee�s belt loops, leading him forward. He walked backwards until the back of his thighs hit the bed. He fell back and brought Dee with him, pleased with the feeling of Dee�s erection pressed into his leg. Pushing up on his elbows, JJ crawled to the head of the bed, Dee crouched over him like a cat. He surged up, capturing Dee in a series of short, bruising kisses. Dee returned them eagerly and as JJ reached out to grasp the button of his jeans he turned his head to the side, JJ�s mouth now busy on his chest.
JJ finally won his battle with the evil Levi�s button and had only just reached for the zipper when he felt Dee reach out, towards the bedside table. Looking over, he saw that the other man had flipped down the picture he kept framed. The picture of Dee�with Ryo.
JJ chose to ignore it and grasped the zipper, its metal teeth separating and granting him access to what he wanted. Before he could put his hand inside, Dee grabbed his wrists, pressing them back into the mattress. JJ quite liked being dominated and mewled when Dee dipped down to kiss him, his grip on JJ�s wrists strong and rough.
The kiss didn�t end, but sort of�changed. Somehow, Dee�s lips never left his skin but ended up on his neck. With JJ still in a deathlock he spoke in between bouts of nuzzling and nipping.
�Why do you have that picture?� His fingers toyed with the top of the smaller man�s pants, pulling them down to reveal sharp, defined hipbones.
JJ was a bit surprised. �Unngh�do you really have to ask�ahh�why I have a picture of you?�
�No� Dee drawled, nipping at JJ�s ear with his teeth �Why do you have *that* picture?�
JJ closed his eyes and threw his head back, offering more of his neck to Dee�s talented mouth. Without thinking, he gave Dee the first answer that popped into his head�the truth. �That�s�when you look�happiest.�
Dee stopped.
The lack of movement caused JJ to shift under him in protest. It was then that JJ realized the words he had spoken and mentally slapped himself for it. He ran a hand soothingly along Dee�s forearm.
�Sempai�� he started, but Dee cut him off.
�I can�t do this.�
JJ gripped his arm, his nails leaving little crescent moons in the bronzed skin. His blue eyes looked as though they threatened tears.
�Because of Ryo?�
Dee nodded, but quickly amended his answer. �Yes and no. It�s not because of what you think.�
JJ began to get noticeably upset. �Isn�t it? You want Ryo; he won�t have you; and no one else will ever do?�
�No� Dee replied in a gentle voice. He absently ran a hand along JJ�s side as he spoke, comforting him. �I don�t know what I want. I know that right now I want you�but�I know that I�m not finished with Ryo and until I am�if I ever am�I can�t do this. Not to you or to him.�
JJ wailed, which Dee wasn�t expecting. �Are you saying that I�m supposed to wait here patiently for you until Ryo finally tells you �no� once and for all?�
�No! I would tell Ryo the same thing if I were with him right now!�
�Oh really?� JJ replied, sounding disbelieving.
�Look� Dee started �I�m completely focused here � � He placed JJ�s hand over his erection and bit back a hiss of pleasure � � but here � � he moved the hand to his heart �I�m completely confused. I can�t be with *anyone* while I�m like that.�
He got no reply, so he continued. �I couldn�t forgive myself, JJ, if I went through with this only to back out later. You would hate me and I would hate myself.�
He gave the smaller man a pleading look, having expressed himself in the best way he knew how.
JJ looked on the verge of tears and he couldn�t look Dee in the eye.
�I think you should leave.� he whispered and jerked his hand away from where it had been resting on Dee�s chest.
Hanging his head, Dee complied, picking up his things and heading for the door. Before he slipped through he turned back to the anguished sniper.
�I�m sorry, JJ. But I meant what I said�please believe me.�
He heard JJ sigh just before he slipped out of the room. Before he went for his jacket and keys he leaned against the door, angry with himself for allowing things to get so far.
He�d hurt one of the only people to genuinely care for him. It was true that what he�d just done had, indeed, hurt JJ. But Dee couldn�t imagine the kind of damage he would have done if he hadn�t forced himself to leave. He didn�t know if he would have this chance again, but was unwilling to risk hurting JJ even more if he couldn�t get over Ryo. The trouble was, if Ryo had walked in, right in the middle of whatever it was he and JJ had been doing, Dee would have immediately called it a mistake. And if Ryo were to suddenly change his mind and decide he wanted him, Dee couldn�t honestly say that he could tell him no. Such musings were far fetched, of course, but the truth was � that Dee simply couldn�t bring himself to give in to JJ unless he *knew* that nothing, not even Ryo, could make him regret it.
He supposed that he would feel the same way about Ryo � that he would be unable to accept the man while JJ still bounced around in his head.
With his head still against the door, JJ�s words carried through the barrier to his ears.
�I *do* believe you�and that what hurts so much.�
Dee pulled himself away and tried to make as little noise as possible as he dejectedly headed home.
*************************************************

TBC
OKAY! Before you get a lynch mob assembled, I think I should get a chance to explain!! *ducks sharp objects*
First of all�you knew it was coming.
Secondly�Do *not* assume the pairing(s) yet. I still have quite a bit to write and there are *big* things in store for our boys. ALL 3 OF THEM.
Third� Whew�this is a big one.
As unhappy as I am sure many of you are, this had to be done. After all the character work and interactions between these two I absolutely *refused* to let the tension be ignored. It wouldn�t get ignored in real life�at least�in *my* real life�and it won�t be here either. This relationship has been the most progressive in the story so far and it *had* to reach a pinnacle. This was planned from right near the beginning, and really shouldn�t surprise you. The next chapter is Dee/Ryo centric, and it will be here soon. The Dee/Ryo stuff was supposed to go in this chapter, but it would have been way too long. This was, as I see it, the most realistic way to take things. I apologize if any of you experience health problems due to this chapter.
I have received many, many reviews stating the reader�s desire for this to end up a Dee/Ryo fic�and it very well may. (Of course, it may not, but I�m certainly not telling) However, I refuse to take the story off into happy original pairing land� simply because that�s the easy route. I�ve also received reviews stating that some people are no longer willing to read this story if it becomes Dee/JJ. Now this is where it gets complicated. Although it has now officially become Dee/JJ (for *this* chapter�although I think it has had Dee/JJ *and* Dee/Ryo all throughout it) I don�t understand why anyone would quit reading, if they have enjoyed the story thus far. As I said, this is far from over, and I have tried really really really hard to make *all 3* of the main characters very clear in their motivation and thought processes. I want a reader that hates JJ, or Dee or Ryo to be able to understand them better at the end of a chapter, I guess. I hope that, at least to some of you, I�ve accomplished that, so far.
I apologize again if I have ruined your day, but it will get better, *I promise*, as long as you keep reading.
Please read and review, although I�d rather not get flamed after all the trouble of explaining.
Love and Kisses,
Reika
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The Time For Change Is Now