Partners

Partners
Viva la Viveca
&
Schyra

Disclaimer : I disclaim disclaimy things� again� as always�

A/N: My Co-writer deserves a shrine and her own personal Lucia..

Chapter IX :: Difference

-Lucia�s POV-
I stopped by Haru�s apartment to check on him, something in my stomach seeming to tell me it was what was needed. I didn�t like the fact that the window that showed out of the apartment�s living room showed no light, but at the same time I was secretly hoping that it meant Haru was gone and making up with his sister. Or that Haru was already at my apartment, if it was a worst case scenario.

I knocked at the door to the apartment anyways, just wanting to double check even if Haru wasn�t there. I had been worried about Haru all afternoon, so much that it had gotten in the way of my work for once and the boss had sent him home early, thinking that between school and work I was just too busy and stressed. While I knew it was a lie, I played it up as such, just because it meant I got to see Haru sooner.

It was almost a full two minutes before I heard any sound on the other side of the door, just as I was about to turn to leave. Haru�s apartment mate, Musica, cracked open the door a little bit before opening it wide enough for me to see that all the lights really were out and the place was a mess. �Um� Is Haru here?� I asked, bothered by the politeness and quietness in his own voice. To an outsider it might have sounded like I was shy. I was just a bit scared.

Musica stared at me in utter mistrust before stepping aside to allow me in. �Yeah, but he�s sleeping and not to be bothered� What do you want?� he said, shutting the door as soon as I stepped in.

��I just wanted to check on him to see how the rest of his day went�� from the darkened look on Musica�s face, it didn�t look like it had turned out well at all. My heart dropped a few inches into his chest, worrying that something serious might have happened to my newfound love. �Is he� is he okay?�

Musica shrugged, moving to pick some things up, seeming to hope that it would take some stress off Haru�s shoulders so he didn�t have to clean, even though we all knew tomorrow would bring about a major clean up of every corner of the place, just so Haru could keep his mind off of everything. I had learned this days ago when we were discussing things we do to get rid of stress for the project. �He�s really upset right now�� was his only reply, obviously no willing to give too much information, considering in his eyes, no matter how much Haru seemed to care about me, I was probably still a complete stranger in their lives and in their home. Of course I didn�t really blame him, but still it upset me.

�That didn�t answer my question,� my voice grew a bit dark and angry. I felt like something was being hidden from me and I didn�t like the fact that it was about Haru. I had grown overprotective over the silver haired boy during the past few days of basically living with him, and I was just worrying even more now. �Is Haru okay?�

Musica stood up straight looking me straight in the eye. �No� No he isn�t, but it�s none of your business-�

�Haru IS my business now. If he�s in any worse condition now than when I left him off at the front door this afternoon, there�s going to be hell to pay!� I glared at Musica, clenching one fist. I couldn�t understand why I was so pissed off, but I felt like I would punch the brunette if I found Haru in worse condition �I�ve watched over him for the past three days and seen how miserable he was, and no one has any right to make him that miserable.�

�Except for you?� Musica raised an eyebrow. �I�m sorry, Haru might believe that you�ve changed and somehow he�s all you want, but I can�t believe it for a minute. You two used to hate each other with an unbeatable passion in high school, and suddenly you�re best friends and the greatest lovers the world�s ever known? When a week ago Haru was bitching that he was stuck with you for a Sociology partner? Things DO NOT change that quickly, Raregroove!�

I took a deep breath, determined not to shout in case it upset Haru any further. If, from Musica's words, he was around. �If Haru didn�t explain the whole thing to you that�s not my problem but I have NEVER hated Haru. I�ve been jealous of Haru, I�ve been angry at him, I�ve even claimed to hate him a couple times, but all throughout that time he�s always been the only one I wanted, despite all the pretty whores throwing themselves at me, despite the number of times I could have found someone that didn�t seem to loathe my very existence, I wanted him�� I said in an even, quiet tone. �I chose him.� I looked Musica in the eye. �Please, can I see him? Or at least can you tell me what happened?�

Musica sighed. �I�m still not convinced, but, whatever�� he looked down the hall then looked back at me. �I�m sorry, I can�t let you see him. It�s nothing against you or anything� well actually it�s a lot against you, but� he had a very upsetting day that included a mental breakdown and conversation with his sister over the phone that didn�t end well� I finally just got him calmed down and in bed, and I really don�t want him disturbed by anything��

My sharp intake of breath seemed to be a sign to Musica that I wasn�t very happy, but I didn�t say anything more than: �If he�s up to it tomorrow can you tell him to give me a call?� before turning and walking out the door. I had a number of things I could have said or done, but I knew that in the end it would have just ended up in a fight, and that would just have hurt Haru more. I already felt like it was my fault for what had happened to make Haru this way, and I would have killed myself before I would do something as stupid as to make it worse.

~~~~~ Haru�s POV ~~~~~

I lay in bed, staring at the wall. Musica had left the room, thinking I was finally asleep, but in truth I wasn�t sure I could sleep for a long time yet. I thought about what I had said to Catt that afternoon. While I regretted hurting her like that now, I couldn�t help but feel that she had deserved it. I knew it had been building up inside me, that I had always had those thoughts, but I refused to acknowledge them because how could I think something horrible about the one family I had?

I hated myself for it, but I wasn�t going to take my words back. In a way it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, yet at the same time I now had another new burden to worry about. That burden was Lucia. I cared about him far too much already to just break it off and call it quits, and he had helped me a lot the past few days� but when the new wore off and he figured out that I wasn�t all that he thought I was, would he just abandon me like Dad had? Or would he try to pass it off and just end up hiding how much he hated me inside, like Catt did?

I didn�t know Lucia�s mind well enough to be able to guess. All I knew was the he could. He might. And I had to break away from him before we ended up hurting each other for any reason. The affectionate teasing and kissing that we had shared on Saturday seemed like years ago, and now looked like a taboo more than any sort of cute lovey-dovey thing it had looked like before. Now, I knew he was dangerous too. I had to be careful. I had to break it off. It seemed so easy to say, but I wasn�t sure if I could really do it or not. I had to be stronger than that though. Preventative measures, it was best for my happiness and health in the long run. I couldn�t be this attached, I didn�t want to hurt like this again. I didn�t think I would survive hurting like this again. The only one I thought I could trust anymore was Musica, and I was even having my doubts about that.

I curled up even tighter in my bed, feeling the tears coming again and urging myself not to cry. I hated it. I hated feeling this way. I hated myself. I didn�t want to think about this anymore, I just wanted to sleep and think about the days when everything was so easy� but, like everything I'd desperately grasped for in life, sleep evaded me.