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Regrets in the Crying Sky	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 7052 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
- 1-Rain
- 2-Regrets
- 3-Hesitancy
- 4-Taboo
- 5-Dessert
- 6-Domestication
- 7-Crying
- 8-Vow
- 9-Freedom
- 10-Decisions
- 11-Only
- 12-Stay
- 9
- 10
- 11
A/N: This story has been one long journey of mostly heartache. Nothing personifies emotional pain like the blues, but it can also hold a ray of hope, like the incredible Etta James and her song "Out of the Rain." The rain has now stopped in this story. Time for the joy after the storm.

"Out of the rain, under the shelter. I've been so long where the sun don't shine. Standing at the crossroad, oh, could have went either way, but now I've found you and the storm is behind. Out of the rain, out of the rain."

Chapter 10

Decisions
It was autumn, almost time for Fantasia. Gray knew Natsu would be back for the celebration; no way would he miss it. He just did not know when the Fire Dragon Slayer was due to arrive. No one knew. Normally, Natsu was good at writing back to the people in Fairy Tail, just to assure everyone he was okay, although often to warn them that he broke something again. This time, they had only one letter from him, and that arrived in July, wishing Lucy a happy birthday.
Gray was in the guild hall, laughing at the younger generation of "brats" who were fighting amongst themselves. He remembered when it was him and Natsu acting like that, challenging one another, shouting and using magic in a brawl. Had it been this comical to the adults? He had taken those challenges and rivalries so seriously back then.
Happy flew up and sat beside Gray. The Exceed had hardly changed in all those years, although now he was a father to a few kittens. It seemed that Exceeds matured quickly but aged slowly. Pantherlily once said that Exceeds perceived time differently than humans. Gray wondered if these six months were a blink of an eye to Happy.
"How are you feeling, Gray?" the blue cat asked in concern.
He heard that question a lot lately. "Better than yesterday." That was his standard answer.
"Are you and Juvia talking again yet?"
He glanced across the room to the blue-haired woman. Seeing her still pained his heart. Maybe it always would. However, she was laughing at something Cana was saying. At least she could smile again.
"We've talked," he said quietly. It took half a year, but Fairy Tail had pretty much gotten over the shock of Gray and Juvia's divorce. Gray was just glad that Juvia said nothing about Natsu to anybody.
"Any word from Natsu?"
Gray had confessed everything to Happy. He felt that, as Natsu's best friend and practically like his son, the Exceed deserved to know. Happy was stunned, but he had nervously admitted that he knew about Natsu's feelings for Gray for a long time. He was not angry, and he came often to visit Gray. Really, if it had not been for his upbeat attitude, Gray had no clue how miserable he might have been over these past six months. However…
"I've not received a single letter," he admitted.
He would have liked something: a letter, a call, some sort of communication with the Dragon Slayer. Sometimes he wrote letters to Natsu, but he burned them afterward. The letters were mostly filled with his own anguish, confusion, venting his frustrations while reminiscing over that one night. He wondered if maybe the same was true about Natsu.
"What will you do?" asked Happy.
Gray dropped his head. The time to decide was soon. What had he decided upon after half a year thinking about this?
Before he could answer, Mira gasped. She had been reading the guild's mail, and one letter trembled in her hands. She looked up with happiness.
"Natsu is coming home!" she cried out. "He says he's due back Thursday. That's today. We should throw a party."
People cheered. Natsu was well-loved and respected, even if he was a destructive pyromaniac. Gray had to smiled with pride as he saw how Fairy Tail could rejoice for their very own Fire Dragon Slayer.
Happy flew off, wanting to read the letter. Gray drank some more, keeping quiet for now. No one else knew yet. He was not even sure what he could tell people. He wanted to save Natsu from shame, so he simply told no one but Happy about that night. Besides, for many months, he had no clue if it would be better for everyone if that evening ended up being a one-night-stand.
He realized Juvia had slipped up beside him. He still had to fight the desire to reach out and touch her. She did what she had to do, and he did not blame her at all. She was a strong, independent woman, and she simply did not tolerate lying and cheating. He respected that about her.
"Gray?"
No more sama. That was one of the worst changes. Just hearing her say his name like that forced him to realize their romance was over.
"Are you still living in Natsu's house?"
That much was common knowledge, and no one questioned it. The house was abandoned, after all. "Yeah, I'm still there," he muttered.
"Do … do you plan to stay?"
He knew what that question implied. If he stayed, he would be moving in with Natsu. If he left, he was letting Natsu know that what they had could not be continued.
"I don't know," Gray admitted sadly. "I have no clue what the future might bring. It might be that Natsu feels too guilty, and…" He glanced her over. It still felt weird, not wearing his wedding ring. "I know it was my fault, but … I'm not sure if I'm ready to fully move on."
Part of his heart still loved her, although he knew he had cheated and betrayed her. Part of him still hoped she would take him back, but deep in his soul, he knew that would not happen, because part of him felt butterflies at the prospect of seeing Natsu again. So long as he felt more joy in Natsu than in Juvia, he did not deserve her.
"You need to find love again, Gray," Juvia said with a bittersweet smile. "Any love."
Gray blinked in surprise. Any love. That was so similar to his own thoughts once. He had married her because he wanted any love.
"Even if it's lukewarm, some love—any love—is better than loneliness … right?"
Confessing that to Natsu had inflamed the Dragon Slayer. They had argued, fought, just like old times, but with rife tension. That tension had broken with kisses, passion, and right at the height of that passion, Natsu had said something Gray would never forget.
"I knew I only wanted you. I'm not the sort to settle for any love. That's why it really pissed me off when you said that."
Natsu had wanted only Gray. Not just any love. He wanted pure love.
Could Gray give him pure love?
"Not just any love," he said, mostly to himself. Then he smiled to Juvia. "Thank you. I need to think about this." He stood up.
"Gray."
Still, not hearing sama at the end stabbed at him. Their marriage was over. He had spent half a year coming to grips with that.
"Choose what your heart wants."
"I can't," he said immediately, and he smiled back to her. "My heart is too selfish."
Then he grabbed up a shirt he had discarded, yanked it on, and buttoned it as he walked out the door. He needed a long walk and time to think about where his life would go from here.

Natsu arrived home to see it empty. Although the dust covers were off the furniture and the place was clean, he heard and smelled nothing. Natsu set his travel bag down and looked at the empty house.
Gray must have moved out. Recently, by the looks of things. The ice mage had also not been at the guild when Natsu first arrived. Someone said he left shortly after hearing that Natsu would return that day. The Dragon Slayer could guess the issue.
Gray simply was not ready to see him again. The pain must still be too deep.
The lights worked. Gray obviously had turned the electricity back on. That was nice of him. Natsu walked through the house and to the bedroom. Usually, he came home and immediately flopped on his bed, savoring the familiarity of his mattress. This time, Natsu looked at that bed as visions of that night swirled in his head. It had been so wonderful, so precious. It had left him with fantasies that plagued him through many lonely nights, and hopes for a future that was obviously not destined to be.
Had Gray been sleeping in his bed every night since then? It was a nice thing to imagine.
He wondered if Gray was okay, and if he managed to patch things up with Juvia. He had seen Juvia in the guild, but he had not gotten to talk to her. Why was she there and Gray not? Obviously, she wasn't pregnant.
Natsu sneered and scolded himself when he realized he hoped they had not made up. Really, he was still a greedy bastard!
Just then, he heard the door open. Natsu ran into the main room to see Gray arriving with his arms full of grocery bags.
"Hey, you're home," Gray smiled, kicking the door shut behind him. "Sorry I wasn't here. I wanted to make something special for tonight to celebrate, but I was out of a lot of food. It's a pain in the ass, hauling groceries all the way back from town, so I've only been shopping when I really run out of food."
Natsu stood frozen in astonishment. Gray … was here?
Casually, Gray carried the groceries to the kitchen and began to put them away. "I know you like fire chicken, and there was a sale on whole chickens at the meat market. I also got a cantaloupe and some apples. I bet you've hardly eaten any fruits at all while on your mission. You always come back so thin. Really, you need fruits for energy. So I was thinking about chopping up the cantaloupe and apples and…"
In the middle of his rambling, Natsu grabbed Gray from behind and crushed him in a hug. "Don't leave!" he cried out desperately.
Gray laughed softly. "Well, I'm at least staying for dinner, since I'm the one who bought all this food."
"No." Natsu squeezed tighter and buried his face into the cool skin. "Stay here. Stay forever."
Slowly, Gray turned around to face him. Natsu was almost in tears. His hair was even longer than before. He definitely had not cut it in those six months. His stubble was so thick, Gray could nearly imagine Natsu with a beard. When Gray stroked down that cheek, the facial hair felt fuzzy and soft on his fingers, all the way down to his chin. He wanted to pet all this pink hair.
"I'm still not sure where I am emotionally," he warned.
Natsu dropped his head in disappointment.
"But I know one thing." Gray smiled and tilted Natsu's face back up. "I keep dreaming about you. I don't dream about Juvia anymore. Only about you. I really … really want you again." Already, his body was reacting to the heat of the Dragon Slayer.
"I don't want to lose you," Natsu said fervently. He looked at Gray's bare shoulder and saw small white marks. "You have a scar there."
Gray blushed and felt the rough skin. "Yeah, you bit me hard, bastard. It was bleeding off and on for three days."
Natsu caressed that permanent mark. "I wanted to claim you." When his eyes flicked up to Gray, they glowed with predatory hunger. "I want you to be mine."
Gray shivered, but he looked away. "Natsu…"
"All I thought about on my mission was getting back to you and trying to make things right again." His hands slid up Gray's chest. "The only way they can be right is if you're mine." He leaned in closer, his lips loose, staring at Gray's mouth. "My only love."
Gray felt all of his fears and hesitancy melting with the heat of this Fire Dragon Slayer. His arms wrapped around Natsu, pulling him in, just as their lips met. Natsu clutched into Gray's hair, pulling it and yanking his head up for a better kiss. Gray moaned at the hair pulling, and he yanked Natsu closer, until the Dragon Slayer was thrusting him up against the kitchen sink. He unclasped Natsu's traveling cloak and let it drop to the floor. Then his hands ran up the Dragon Slayer's body, slipped under his clothes, and felt the heat of his skin.
"Gray," Natsu moaned, shuddering at the chill that ran through him with the cold touch of the ice mage's fingers.
Gray pulled back and stared up into those sage-green eyes. He had no ambivalence anymore. His mind and body had decided. He smiled, glad that for the first time in six months, he was firm about what was the right choice.
"I choose you, Natsu."
The squinty eyes widened in surprise. "But, Juvia…"
"She went through with the divorce."
"You two could still make up. You could…"
"I know that. It could happen," he agreed. "In a year, maybe five years, she could take me back, but … I can't be what she deserves. I can't love her purely because…" He reached up and caressed Natsu's face. "For how much I loved her in the past, I love you way more. Always have. Always will. Back then, I chose my pride and settled for any love. This time, I choose you, not because you're someone who wants me, but because, since the beginning, you've been the only one who I have ever wanted without any regrets."
Natsu stared in silent shock. Gray was giving up a wife and family, all for him. He could not even imagine giving up something so precious. That made Gray's love even more special, because it was not just any love. It was pure love. He picked Natsu. He was not settling for the next best thing. He was sacrificing something precious, all so he could be with Natsu.
"I won't let you regret it," Natsu swore fervently. He caressed Gray's face and rubbed down to the scar that marked him. "You're my mate. My precious … wonderful … only mate!"
They kissed again, softer this time, savoring the reunion. Then Gray leaned back and smiled happily. "Welcome home," he said softly.
Natsu sighed contentedly. Suddenly, this truly did feel like a homecoming. "I'm home," he whispered. Then he leaned in and gave Gray another gentle kiss.

End of Chapter 10
- 9
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Regrets in the Crying Sky