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Snap Judgment	By : FlayraDowitcher Category: +G to L > Hetalia: Axis Powers Views: 1434 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
***Warnings: Yaoi, oral, angst
***Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic
Chapter 10
Ivan groaned and dropped his head to Gilbert's shoulder for a second to register the ringing phone. Pissed at being interrupted again, he swiftly left the bathroom to pick up the phone. "Hello, Alfred." He tried not to sound annoyed.
'Hey Ivan. I called Callaghan and spoke to him about the issue with Gilbert. I let him know about the minor legal issues and protection papers Gilbert has against him. The guy wasn't pleased at all.'
"Of course he would be angry. We snatched away his precious little rabbit."
'Well, I didn't just call to tell you that. Callaghan has put in for a meeting between him and Gilbert, along with me in the room for support.'
"No fucking way," Ivan said, and rarely did he ever curse. He turned annoyed violet eyes on Gilbert who was just coming out of the bathroom and looking at him with concern. He wasn't angry with Gilbert but more so at Alfred for mentioning the meeting. "I don't want that man anywhere near Gilbert."
Alfred gave a sigh. 'Look, it's best that Gilbert be allowed to do this, Ivan. We want to stray away from allowing Callaghan to have any chance at throwing in his own legal party. He just wants to discuss with Gilbert what's happened and I'll be there should things get out of hand. Maybe they can resolve all this on their own.'
"I will discuss it with Gilbert first, and then I will call you back."
'Seriously though, Ivan, it better be a 'yes'. It's just talking, nothing else.'
"I'll be in touch." Ivan ended the call and placed the phone back in its cradle. He gave a heavy snort through his nose. 'That damned Alfred!'
"Ivan? What was the call about?" Gilbert's soft voice questioned.
Ivan turned to look at him. "Alfred spoke to Callaghan. 'Mr. Wonderful' has offered to 'discuss' with you about what has happened. Alfred will be there to keep things safe. That bastard wants to talk with you but I'd rather you not."
Gilbert sat down on the couch and Mandy jumped up to sit beside him. "If Alfred's there…then I won't have to worry. M-Maybe he wants to break it off peacefully."
Ivan crossed his arms, frowning. "I highly doubt that. Alfred thinks if you talk to Callaghan it will help to keep things calm. In other words, it will keep Callaghan from using any sort of lawsuit against you."
Pink eyes widened. "Then I should do it. Hear what he has to say."
"And what if he wants you back?" Ivan turned away. "What if he begs you to come back to him? What if he says he will take anger management courses or see a psychiatrist? I think he's going to try and win you back."
Gilbert's white brows furrowed sadly. "I won't go back to him. I swear it to you, Ivan. I won't go back." When Ivan didn't answer Gilbert grew angry. "You don't believe me, do you? Okay, tell you what! I'll show you that what I say is true! If I go back with him after this meeting, then you have the rights to…to put Mandy down!" It hurt dreadfully to even say those words, but he had to make sure Ivan believed him.
Ivan turned around to face him. "Do you think I'm even capable of doing such a thing?"
"I just want you to believe me." Gilbert held back his tears. "I just…want things to be better. Isn't that why you're doing all this for me, Ivan?"
The larger of the two sighed but nodded. "Alright. We'll go through with this meeting." Ivan wasn't certain about what would happen but he couldn't see it turning out well.
/
Ivan was not allowed in the meeting room with the other three. However, he was allowed in the control room of where the group was meeting. The worker sat at the control panel, pressing at some knobs and buttons. Alfred said that he would be able to hear this discussion in this room because it was going to be recorded. Ivan stood with his arms crossed and his fists clenched tightly. This whole meeting unnerved him. Something about this wasn't right and Ivan knew by the end of the night he would be boiling with rage. The man put on his headphones and offered a pair to Ivan, which he placed on his ears. He waited anxiously for the conversation to start and when Alfred's voice came through, he knew it had. Alfred first explained a few legal things and what they were doing here. When Callaghan spoke, Ivan's blood boiled and burned in his veins.
'I apologize for attacking you as I did, Gilbert.' Silence. 'You don't have to accept my apology.'
Alfred spoke next. 'Gilbert? What do you want to say to him? I promise that nothing said will leave this room.'
'I'll talk,' stated Callaghan. 'What made you get up and leave? I've beaten you more times than this out of anger. It's not right by any means, and it's not something I can cure without help. I'll put in for some anger management, I promise.'
Ivan's breathing started to come in heavy pants.
'…I guess I left because I know you feel nothing for me.' Gilbert finally answered. 'I asked you if there was any security for me should something happen to you. You laughed at me, hit me, beat me…and all I asked was a simple question.'
'Gilbert, I will be honest with you. I gained all my company, my business, and my fortune by myself. You know who's entitled to everything? ME. You think I'd leave you my money for you to spend on stupid things? Gilbert, you can't manage yourself without someone by your side helping you. And I think you've got a lot of nerve pulling all this on me when I saved your career!'
'I'm not denying that,' Gilbert replied. 'I just thought…you cared more about me but you obviously don't. So…I guess what I'm trying to say is that…that if you don't need me then…then I don't need you!'
"YES!" Ivan's sudden outburst frightened the man at the controls.
There came Callaghan's chuckling, then. 'Now that's cute. Gilbert, you are NOTHING without me. You were nothing before I even met you. Do not paint me to be the bad guy in all of this and you the innocent victim. There were plenty of times you could have left earlier in our relationship but you'd rather have the money and glamour. So why leave money to a gold digger?'
'Hey,' started Alfred, 'let's not use terms like that. Gilbert, how do you respond?'
'I don't always make the right choices…and heaven only knows the amount of regret I carry around with me.'
Callaghan spoke next. 'Regret all brought on by yourself. As far as I'm concerned, you can kiss your fucking career 'goodbye'.'
'Watch your language!' Alfred warned him again.
'You think you can make it in the world without me? Never. You will fall so far and there will be no one to pick you up.'
There was silence, and then Gilbert spoke. 'There will be someone. And that someone won't be you.'
'Someone?' Callaghan snorted. 'Of course you really mean to say, 'no one'.'
Ivan started to grind his teeth.
'I think we're done here for-.' Callaghan interrupted Alfred.
'Oh no, I'm not done speaking. Gilbert, you will be blacklisted from the modeling world. I would love to see you find another job where they would hire a gay model who spends his time posing with his legs open.'
'Mr. Callaghan, you're getting out of hand.' Alfred warned again.
'I don't want to be a fucking model anyway!' Gilbert hollered. 'I don't want all those sloppy old men touching me any more! I never got any enjoyment out of modeling after I met you! I'm glad to be away from that house, that job, and most of all, from YOU!'
Ivan smirked. "Good job, Gilbert."
'Well, aren't we just a brave little dog now? You think you can get rid of me that easily, Gilbert? I don't need you, but you'll soon learn that you need me. I will live on forever in here; in your head. And who's going to take care of you now, Gilbert? Your mother? She's been dead for quite some time now and your doting father drunk himself to death while living in Germany with his second wife and son. Where does that leave you? Just an empty, used up whore.'
'HEY!' Alfred hollered again. 'That's enough out of you! This meeting is done, and so are you! Get out of this room before I slap a pair on you! OFFICER RANGER! SEE THIS MAN OUT OF MY STATION!'
Ivan threw the headphones down. "Damn it…I need to see Gilbert!"
The man at the controls looked at him. "Alfred will be in shortly. Just wait here." He turned back to the controls. "That sure was something…wow."
A few minutes later Alfred came in with Gilbert, who looked to be a mix of emotions. He was shaking with his teeth grit in anger, but his eyes show that he is scared. Alfred had a hand on his back, rubbing in soothing motions as he met Ivan's gaze. "I need to talk to you alone, Ivan." He then turned to the other man. "Call Sarah in here to take Gilbert for a short while."
"Gilbert?" Ivan spoke his name, but the albino didn't answer him. The man appeared to be in shock, or in a trance. Sarah, another officer, came in and guided Gilbert out of the room. "Will he be alright?"
"He needs to calm down." Alfred said and pulled Ivan into the room so they could have some privacy. "So you heard everything?"
"Every word," Ivan sneered. "How dare that bastard say all those things."
Alfred shrugged his shoulders. "Well, we don't need to fear him slapping us with lawsuits and an army of lawyers. He knew this was being recorded, and he openly admitted to everything. Which, if this turned up in court, would land him in jail."
Ivan smiled. "Then we should have nothing to fear, right?" He saw the look of uneasiness on Alfred's face, and he frowned. "Right?"
"Don't tell Gilbert because I don't want him thinking or worrying about this. I would be very, very careful around this man. I've seen cases like this before. Callaghan's body was calm and still, his voice steady, but the look on his face suggested otherwise to someone who knows what to look for."
"What do you mean?"
"I want you to keep an eye out for any suspicious activities revolving around you or Gilbert. Especially Gilbert. Victims like him often end up with a stalker."
Ivan's eyes widened a bit. "Stalker? Is that what you think Callaghan is capable of?"
Alfred shrugged his shoulders again. "It's hard to say. From now on, don't let Gilbert leave your place unless you or a friend is with him. Keep an eye out for anything out of the norm, like you see the same car parked in the same spot at all hours of the day. Or someone calling your phone or leaving notes around. Do you have a laundry room in your apartment building?"
Ivan nodded. "Yes."
"Stalkers will often steal things from their victims. Many like to play mind games; they'll even go through your garbage."
Ivan shuddered at that. "Then let me ask you this. What are MY RIGHTS in all this? Let's say that Callaghan is stalking Gilbert and I find him. He's about to do bodily harm to Gilbert and I protect him. Say that…for the sake of argument, he gets killed. Will I be in trouble?"
Alfred narrowed his gaze at Ivan over the rim of his glasses. "Interesting notion, Ivan. According to the law, you would be arrested and tried for murder. If it was Gilbert who killed him then it would be out of self-defense, and therefore excusable. Callaghan wouldn't be after you, anyway. He'll want Gilbert."
"I don't really like that look you are giving me, Alfred." He smirked. "Are you implying that I'm asking you this because you think I am capable of- " Alfred put his hand up.
"Your elevator never went all the way to the top floor, Ivan. We may have been roommates and I'm offering to help you out for the sake of a troubled individual. However, I am dedicated to my cause as well as the law. I enforce and uphold the law so that everyone gets the justice they deserve. I am a hero on these streets, and I intend to keep it that way, be it friend or foe."
Ivan smiled with just his lips. "Same old Alfred. I'll ignore that little jab towards me at the beginning of your hero's speech because you are helping Gilbert. Yet, may I say something? You call yourself a hero, but what hero would allow a cruel man such as Callaghan to continue walking the streets? He'll find another person after Gilbert and do the same thing. He'll continue to exploit young men in his modeling business. Gilbert lives in fear of this man, yet you tell me all the odds are against him in a court of law. You saw yourself the kind of condition Gilbert was in that night when you met him. You know what Callaghan is capable of. Gilbert is a citizen in need of protection."
Alfred glared furious cornflower blue eyes at him. "And I WILL protect him. I want the law to handle this, not Ivan Braginski. Got that?" Ivan just smiled but nodded. "Now then, like I was saying, I want you to write down any suspicious activity and let me know. I have a feeling this man is a stalker. People with massive control issues like him are more likely to become one. It may never happen but I want you to be aware of it. Say nothing to Gilbert so he doesn't become paranoid over something that may or may not happen."
Ivan just nodded.
"One last thing, Ivan. While I do uphold the law, I still have to solve cases and crime scenes before judgment is passed." He moved past Ivan and slugged him gently in the shoulder. "Sometimes I might…'overlook' evidence." Ivan smiled. "I'll be in touch."
Ivan knew right then and there that Alfred was on his side. Whatever happened to Callaghan, Alfred would be on the case. Just knowing that opened up a wave of opportunities for Ivan's violent mind to wander. The only flaw in this would be Alfred's sense of justice, and just how far the man would overlook a crime. If Ivan went completely overboard with the 'accident', then Alfred, out of personal heroism, would turn him in. But, if he kept it clean and looking like an accident, Alfred would wipe the slate clean. On a side note, Gilbert had done exceptionably well; better than Ivan had thought he would. The man needed him now, so Ivan left the room and asked to be taken to Gilbert. The albino was sitting in the waiting room with a paper cup of coffee in his hands. "Gilbert?"
Gilbert looked over at him with tear reddened eyes, but gave Ivan a smile. "Hey. Can we go back now?"
"Yes, we can. We'll stop at the food store and pick up a few things first." Ivan held out his hand and Gilbert took it, squeezing tight. "You did very well, Gilbert. I'm proud of you." He didn't expect a response from Gilbert as they left the station and got in the car. Ivan turned it on to let the engine heat up while keeping the car idle. He gave a tiny shiver. "Brrr! It sure is cold!"
"Yeah…cold."
"Gilbert? What's wrong? Are you just worried about everything that was said?"
Gilbert looked down at the coffee. "Somewhat, I guess." He started to tense up. "D-Do you think…what he said about my father…and mother…are true?"
"I'm not sure about that, Gilbert. We'll ask Alfred to look into it tomorrow for you. How's that?"
"If…if he is right then…then that means…I'm an orphan."
Ivan put the car in gear. "Callaghan may have just said those things to hurt you. We don't know the truth, so try not to worry about it right now. You have to think of yourself first."
"Yeah." Gilbert said nothing in the car. He stayed inside when Ivan went into the store to get food. Once they had arrived back home he plopped heavily on the couch. Finally, he chose to speak.
"I haven't seen my mother in years and I'm sure my father simply disowned me. He probably never cared to see me anyway. If those things he said turn out to be true…" he started to shake "Then I don't think I could live with such fucking guilt!" Ivan reached over to stroke Gilbert's shoulder. "How did my life get so fucked up like this? How?!" He pushed Ivan's arm away. "The old Gilbert is never coming back! Not with so much fucking guilt and regret tearing him apart! Best just tie me to the back of the goddamn car and pull me along!"
"Gilbert, stop this!" Ivan gripped his shoulders and forced Gilbert's body to turn and look at him. "You're talking crazy now! We don't know if what was said is true! Stop panicking!"
"I CAN'T! I CAN'T! WHERE'S MY PILLS? I NEED MY PILLS, IVAN! GET THEM FOR ME! PLEASE! PLEASE! I'LL GO FUCKING NUTS OTHERWISE!"
"No. I don't care how long it takes!" He said firmly. "You aren't taking any more pills! I will hold you until you are calm."
"I don't need that! Get away from me!" Mandy started to bark at his yelling. "Just one pill! Just one…to help me sleep." Ivan shook his head, and Gilbert growled. "FUCK YOU!" He punched Ivan square in the jaw. "GET AWAY FROM ME!"
Ivan recovered quickly, reaching out to grab Gilbert by the arms once again. The albino struggled and cried out while Mandy began barking at them. She kept trying to forcer her way through the both of them, but Ivan just picked Gilbert up to carry him away, kicking and screaming. Mandy followed them but Ivan shut the bedroom door on her. He forcefully lowered the struggling man down onto the bed and continued to hold him there. He was much stronger than Gilbert so his plan was to let the man wear himself down. Gilbert was easy to hold, however his long legs were kicking like a wild horse. Ivan found that he had to use the rest of his body weight to keep the albino from accidently hurting him. Gilbert continued to cry out and beg to be let go but Ivan wouldn't allow it. Instead, he pressed all his weight down and squeezed the smaller man this time, holding him tight. Gilbert was reduced to swallow flopping under him while trying to escape the hold and still Ivan did not more. Ivan hoped this struggling would cease soon because the other will be feeling his arousal soon. It was shameful, and Ivan found he had to hide his face in the pillow so Gilbert couldn't see.
Sure enough, Gilbert ceased his struggling when he felt something hard poking at his right thigh. As he started to come down from his panic attack and his mind began to focus he realized what that thing was. He didn't move, but only his eyes widened while his chest heaved up and down. That was Ivan's erection pressing against his thigh; the struggling turned him on. Gilbert felt both fear and confusion welling up inside of him with the first instinct being to bolt. However, the large man was still crushing him with the body mass of a sea lion. There was no way to escape unless Ivan rolled off of him, and that erection seemed to be growing bigger. Gilbert gulped, feeling a new stream of panic make its way up his spine and to his brain. How many times had his ex-boyfriend lain atop of him like this? Crushing him with his weight after sex or just doing so to prove some primitive animalistic dominance. It was the same right now as it was then, only Ivan weighed as much as a small Volkswagon.
"Ivan?" He whispered the name. "Please…c-could you…get off of me? I'm okay now." He was still trembling. "Please? I don't like this." An annoyed groan came from beside his head.
"I just want to feel you. Just give me this."
Gilbert was finding it harder to breath. "Ivan? I will stay with you and you can…hold me. But just…let me lay next to you. You're crushing me."
Ivan slowly lifted himself from atop of Gilbert's body, hearing the man take a deep gulp of relief. He stared down at the frail, battered man beneath him, his eyes never leaving those pink circles. Ivan had to remember that Gilbert's body was malnourished from years of forced diet and pills to keep up appearances. The toned and muscled body of a young Gilbert would be brought back only after the albino had enough healing time. He remembered the image of Gilbert's proud form again as the young teen stood laughing above him. Ivan could recall how he felt, looking up at Gilbert's obnoxious mouth howling with prideful laughter…flexing young muscles…praising himself for his accomplishments…and on occasion, mooning him. If he could have, Ivan would have leapt up and bit that perfect pale ass or give it a firm slap. But he let Gilbert mock him instead because something of that 'nature' should be done in private. He didn't want to share an intimate moment with Gilbert in front of other students.
Now the roles were reversed. The only difference was there was no malice or cruel intent behind the actions. Gilbert, the once proud and strong young man of his dreams, was a beaten down pile of misery, guilt, and regret. Yet he still wanted to dominate the man in the state he was in, if just to satisfy his lust. It was amazing just how strong and invigorating lust was. Now he understood what drove people to do crazy and drastic things for the ones they love and lust after. It could make even the strongest person lose all their sense of resolve and logic. His lust for Gilbert was driving him to actually KILL a man just so this being would be his and his alone. But he couldn't. Not now. Maybe Ivan couldn't penetrate him but at least he could explore and touch the white body beneath him.
"Ivan?"
"I want you to forget everything that happened tonight; everything that was said." His voice was deep, and husky. "I want to help make you forget your guilt and regret. You deserve to feel good." He saw the look of fear in Gilbert's eyes, knowing what the other was thinking. "I won't take you, I promise. But like before…I just want to touch you. To taste you. To kiss you."
Gilbert's white brows lifted sadly. "What if you can't control yourself?" He would like to forget this night yet he was not willing to take the chance of Ivan getting into a lustful rut and fucking him.
Ivan stared intently at him for a few short moments before reaching into the bedside table drawer to pull out a small object. He showed the object to Gilbert, and flipped the blade up. Gilbert's eyes widened. "Then you can kill me." Ivan laid the blade on the table.
To test this theory, Gilbert shot his hand out and gripped the blade to point it right between Ivan's eyes. He was shocked when the larger man never moved, not so much as jerk or a jump. Those purple eyes just stared down at him as the length of a blade lie between them. Gilbert gritted his teeth and narrowed his gaze at Ivan, his hands trembling with the blade. He didn't resist when Ivan slowly brought his hand up to remove the blade, setting it back on the table.
"Do you believe me now?"
"How can I not? You stared down a blade pointed right at you."
"That's because it was held by you. If it had been anyone else, their wrist would be broken along with their nose." He lowered his head closer to Gilbert's. "I'm going to kiss you now." With that, he pressed his lips to Gilbert's.
Gilbert twitched when Ivan first kissed him but then quickly relaxed when he felt the gentleness behind it. He moved his mouth along with Ivan, slowly at first, and then gradually increased the pressure. Without thinking, Gilbert slipped his hands under Ivan's arms to grasp the broad shoulders. The sudden embrace must have excited Ivan for the man arched his hips into Gilbert's groin and slid a tongue along his lips. With a small moan, he opened his mouth to Ivan's tongue as it began to probe, swirl, and explore. Gilbert almost choked on Ivan's tongue for it nearly filled up his mouth. He had to wonder how Ivan even fit the thing in his mouth or spoke with it. Even with the uncomfortable size, the kiss was pleasurable enough to the point where Gilbert felt his groin start to stir. But Ivan pulled his mouth away just as he was getting into the kiss. Instead, the large hands went to his shirt and removed it, swiftly. Gilbert let out a gasp when Ivan's mouth found his nipple, nipping and tugging with gentle teeth. He arched his body into Ivan's, lulling his head from side to side with gasps of delight.
Ivan's cock was throbbing in his pants, threatening to burst through the material if he didn't get relief soon. His plan was to heighten Gilbert's sex drive and get him comfortable with being together. Then, he planned to give the albino oral pleasure, something he was certain that bastard never gave. It would be challenging to stop himself from taking Gilbert after that, and with some shred of hope, the other wouldn't deny him. But at the moment, just being with Gilbert like this was enough for him. The white skin was just as soft and as sweet as he'd imagined for years. Right now his hands were running along slim sides and touching the flat, muscled belly. His mouth was latched onto those perfect pink nipples, which he wished were covered in whipped cream or chocolate. Ivan hoped he wasn't disgusting Gilbert by trailing his mouth all along the white skin, from belly to neck to shoulders. The albino beauty was moaning softly, so he must be doing something right and Gilbert's arms were wrapped around him. Deciding to move on, Ivan sat up to remove Gilbert's pants, boxers, and socks so the man was fully naked beneath him. Ivan looked him over, grinning with satisfaction and licking his lips. 'All mine! This man will finally be mine! Mine! Mine! MINE!'
"Ivan?" Gilbert whispered his name. "W-what are you-"
"Has that bastard ever given your oral before?"
Gilbert flushed. "You mean 'head'? No…never. I had to do it to him all the time, though."
Ivan smiled. "Well, then you're in for a surprise, because I am not like that bastard. I'm going to make you feel good."
Gilbert had to look away as Ivan's head moved further down, feeling the hot breath on his groin that was now semi-hard. He'd never had oral before; knowing only how to give it, not receive it. In some way, he was like a virgin with Ivan at this moment. It was a unique feeling; a comforting one. He gasped when Ivan's hot breath breathed on the tip, which in turn made him grow harder. That large tongue swiped at his tip and Gilbert didn't think he could grow any more, but he did. He arched his hips into Ivan's face, begging for the man to continue. Ivan seemed to read the message and with a few more kisses to his erection, a hot mouth slowly started to engulf him. Gilbert's eyes flew open wide and he let out a choked cry. Ivan's mouth was better than his hand. He felt Ivan swirling his tongue along the base and length, bobbing his head to add more pressure. Gilbert's mind and limbs went into overdrive as he writhed against the sheets, thrusting up into Ivan's mouth with vigor. Ivan's moans vibrated through his cock, which only intensified the pleasure. Gilbert couldn't help but grip the grayish strands of Ivan's hair as he thrust his hips upwards, forcing himself down the other's throat. He heard Ivan gag slightly, but the man made no move to stop or signal a silent sign of protests. Gilbert didn't even care at moment being so caught up in pleasure he didn't know could exist. A smile graced his lips with a little laugh escaping from between them before he shuddered and came hard.
Ivan had never actually done this before, but if he showed one single sign of distress Gilbert would cease in their play. It hadn't been difficult to perform and just hearing the pleased cries from his desired one's throat was all the strength and confidence he needed. He was surprised by Gilbert's fierceness in the act when the albino grabbed his head. Ivan would forgive it, though. He was pleased that Gilbert was openly enjoying himself, which can only lead to full out sex. But his eyes widened when Gilbert came in his mouth and he was forced to swallow the bitter, salty substance that left a tingly aftertaste. It wasn't disgusting but rather a strange taste that would take getting used to, almost like that first sip of beer. When he pulled away from the now limp erection he made sure to smile at Gilbert's blushing, satisfied face. In a way, both of them were the same in experiencing this level of intimacy with each other. Gilbert is new to soft, tender touches with the power of love and longing behind him. Ivan finally had the object of his desires, something he had craved for year after year of school. He imagined them doing this many times, but it didn't come close in comparison! This was a dream come true.
"How are you feeling?" Ivan asked the panting man.
"Did you get the plate number of that truck that hit me?" Gilbert joked with a grin. "Man that was…that was fucking awesome! I've never had pleasure like that!"
Ivan moved to lie next to him. "So I made you feel good? You don't regret it?"
"No, not at all." Gilbert's happiness suddenly faded. "Um…do you want to…to return the favor?"
Ivan nuzzled the white hair. "Only if you want to. This has been a very hard day for you and I rather not push you."
Gilbert rolled into him, laying his body along Ivan's larger on. He nuzzled his head under Ivan's rounded chin and played with the buttons of his shirt. "Can I tell you why I'd rather not…do the same for you just yet?" Ivan nodded and stroked his back lovingly. "My ex made me do that to him whenever he was tired or worn out from work and didn't want sex. He would be really rough or cruel; just pulling me away from an activity and shoving himself down my throat." He tensed in Ivan's arms. "The taste of him was disgusting. Revolting. Every time it was the same. Often, he forced me to swallow and to suck him off AGAIN. I threw up once from that, and it was the first time he had told me to do it. As you can guess…he wasn't very happy about that. I learned how NOT to throw up next time."
Ivan growled low and pulled Gilbert's body closer to his. "I don't blame you for not wanting to do it."
"I promise I will give you the same pleasure, but at the right time. Right now I'm just…a big pile of emotional shit. But I will get better and…over time…if I do it with someone I really like it won't be bad. I might even start to like it." He felt Ivan kiss the top of his head.
"Gilbert, just those words you spoke have shown me that the old you I once knew is starting to come back. That was hope I heard in your words. I'm very proud of you."
Gilbert didn't feel very proud, but he didn't say that to Ivan. "I still have a lot of healing to do."
"And I'll be with you every step of the way. It won't be just me, either. You have Francis and Alfred, even Mandy, all here to help you. With Callaghan, you had no one to ease your suffering or hold your hand. Now you do, and if I'm correct, it should be a wonderful feeling." He felt Gilbert's mouth curve into a smile against his clothed chest.
"It is a nice feeling. I just hope that it will last and that I can get better." He sighed. "What you just gave me was a wonderful gift, Ivan. It was a nice treat…and I thank you for it." He let his arms wrap around Ivan and squeezed the larger man. "I'm sorry for all those years of bullying you. I wish I could take them all back."
"It's in the past now, so don't worry your pretty little head over it. All those mean gestures only strengthened my love for you. Now that I have you, I will never, ever let you go. You once branded me 'Lard Property of Gilbert B.' and stated that no one else could pick on me without a written permission slip from you."
Gilbert chuckled. "And now the tables are turned. Foolish Yeti." He hugged Ivan again. "My big ol' Pooh Bear!"
"Well, that brought back another old memory. But never you mind; it's in the past. Feel free to call me whatever you want."
"Can you put that in writing?" Ivan gave him a little pinch. "Sorry, I'll stop now." He held onto Ivan and gave another sigh. "Thanks for the distraction. It was nice while it lasted, but my goddamn troubles are still here." Gilbert's thoughts were brought back to the news of his parents being dead. He prayed that it wasn't true. Even though he hadn't seen them in many years he still wished to know that they were alive. And then, if they were dead, he would carry around the guilt of not having seen them or been with them, especially his mother.
"I feel your tears seeping through my shirt. What's bothering you, Gilbert?"
"My parents…if they're alive…and if I'm an orphan. This fucking guilt will kill me if I find out they are dead. My poor mother…and fuck my father. I think that bastard deserved death for not helping his REAL family."
"Shh." Ivan kissed him on the head again. "We'll have Alfred find out for us tomorrow. I promise. Remember, tomorrow is another day. And we'll make it a fun one! I know Francis has been busy but he wants to be here with you after finding out what happened. We can all go shopping for some clothes for you and maybe hit up an eatery. How does that sound?"
"Well, it will help to keep my mind off things." He sniffled.
"Instead of thinking that they are dead, say to yourself, 'they're going to be okay'. You really don't know the answer yet, so let's try to make it positive rather than negative."
"Thank you, 'Dear Abby'."
Ivan chuckled. "Shall I play a song for you?"
"Yes, but take Mandy out first." Gilbert sat up and gave a tearful smile at Ivan. "I'll be waiting here for you to return."
Ivan, rather pleased with himself, happily took Mandy outside with a spring in his step. He hummed all the way down the steps, which even attracted the doorman to notice the tune. Ivan just waved him and exited out the back, but kept a firm grip on Mandy this time. She sniffed the snow and walked him all around, trying to find the perfect spot. Ivan rolled his eyes, allowing the dog to drag him all around the building. While circling his side, Ivan looked up to his apartment window, smiling at the realization that his lover was right behind that glass. But his smile disappeared when he heard Mandy start to growl dangerously at the wall, her nose close to the ground. Ivan, curious, pushed her out of the way to see what had her so angry. On the ground, in the snow, he saw a scattered pile of smoked cigarettes. Narrowing his gaze he reached down to pick one up and smelt the end of it. He recognized that expensive, overused cologne anywhere. "Callaghan." He crushed the cigarette butt in his palm. The man had been right here at this very spot…right under their window. Ivan looked all around, searching for any thing suspicious just as Alfred had recommended. "Mandy…let's go inside. Back to Gilbert. Let's go!"
He hurried back into the building with the feeling of dread hanging heavily in his chest.
End Chapter 10 TBC
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Snap Judgment