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Life After Near Death	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 14426 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
"Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word."

― George R.R. Martin

Chapter 10

Care For You
Gray rolled his wheelchair into the guild hall. He saw Natsu sitting in a corner, drinking something strong, his eyes already glazed with inebriation although it was barely in the afternoon. Lately, this scene had become such a standard, people glared at Cana to blame her for it. She insisted, she was not the one who suddenly turned the Fire Dragon Slayer into a beer-guzzling, depressed sloth. No one was even sure when it began. Some time after the spa trip, he just started to lose himself in alcohol, and it worried a lot of people.
Gray scoffed that Natsu had taken up drinking all of a sudden. He was an idiot, but now he was a drunk idiot. Gray was about to go over to Elfman's table, but instead, for reasons he did not fully understand, he maneuvered over to Natsu.
"We need to talk."
"No, we don't," Natsu said gruffly, hiding half his face inside a mug.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Gray shouted. "You've been avoiding me for two weeks, ever since the trip up north. Look, if sleeping with those girls bugs you that much, it's my life, so I can do what I want. Do you really think I would care if you went around sleeping with girls? I don't care. It's your business. So this, what I do, it's my own damn business."
"You're right," Natsu said softly, sipping his drink. "It's none of my business. What I think, what I do, it doesn't matter to you at all. You don't care. You don't even like me, so why should my opinion mean anything."
Gray sighed and rubbed out his head. "It's not like that, stupid." He looked worried as Natsu took another sip. "What the hell are you drinking?" He leaned forward, sniffed, and pulled back with disgust. "Oh God! Is that a whole mug of pure whiskey?"
"So what if it is?" Natsu slurred out.
"You never drink things that strong." Gray's brow furrowed. "Seriously, are you okay?"
"Okay?" Natsu mumbled. "Why do you care if I'm okay?"
"Sheesh! I'm just trying to be friendly here, but you know what? Screw you, ash-breath! You're not a fun drunk." Gray folded his arms and glanced around, trying to figure out which group would cheer him up and make him forget his troubles with the Fire Dragon Slayer.
Natsu stared waveringly into his drink. "How can you do it?"
Gray glanced over in annoyance. "What was that?"
"Pick up girls. Pretend you're okay. Pretend like it never happened. How can you bounce back so fast?"
"What other choice have I got? Be celibate? Stay depressed? You're the one who pointed out that I need to stop acting like I'm totally helpless."
"Yeah, but … but still…" Natsu's head dropped heavily down to the table. "Never mind."
"Exactly. Never mind it. I'm doing what I can. It's a living hell, but I'm trying, and I don't need you patronizing me."
Natsu just grunted, forced his head back up, and took another deep sip of the alcohol. "Hey, Gray? What did you mean back then?"
"When?"
"That day. Do you remember that day?"
"Which day?"
Natsu muttered numbly. "That day. Getting shot."
A memory flashed through Gray's mind. Pain. Agony. The fear of death. "I … I don't like to think about it."
"You said something that day. It bugged me for a while, and then I forgot about it. I've been remembering it again, though. You were trying to talk."
Gray cringed as the memories stabbed him. "Natsu, don't."
"You said, 'Don't forget,' but first you were trying to say something else. I couldn't make it out, and it really bugged me. You were trying to say something, right there at the end, and I couldn't figure it out. 'Cay-fuh-ouu' or something like that."
Gray's eyes widened in shock, and he sat back a bit further in his wheelchair.
"Careful?" Natsu wondered, his head groggy with alcohol. "Careful of what? What was it you were trying to say?"
Gray snapped in irritation, "I was dying, okay? I have no clue what I was trying to say. Just let it go, you ash-for-brains idiot!"
"I won't let it go until you tell me, ice princess." He leaned right up into Gray's face, and his breath reeked of whiskey. "What were you saying? Careful of what? What shouldn't I forget?"
"I don't want to talk about it. That day … I hate remembering it. I seriously hate it. So don't … don't ever bring it up again. Just get drunk and pass out like the idiot you are and leave me alone."
Natsu sank down in his seat and frowned at the alcohol in front of him. "Gray…"
"Shut up!"
"I wanna tell you…"
"I said shut up! You're drunk, Natsu."
Natsu dropped his head, staring ahead with a melancholy face. Gray sighed in frustration. Obviously, the Dragon Slayer was drunk and wanted to talk. Maybe he needed to. Gray had spoken to plenty of counselors and psychiatrists while still recovering in the hospital, people who helped him get over his suicidal depression. Natsu had only Happy, and obviously the Exceed was too immature to talk about things like this.
Gruffly, Gray grumbled, "What is it?"
Natsu sadly looked away and whispered, "Nothing."
"Well, come on. You wanna say something? Go ahead," he snapped petulantly.
Natsu took another drink and muttered under his breath. "Damn stubborn popsicle."
"Tell me!" Gray snapped, getting annoyed. Drunk-Natsu was not funny at all.
Natsu set his cup down too hard and swung over to Gray with narrow, fiery eyes. "I had to deal with it, okay?" he shouted.
Gray looked confused. "Deal with it?"
"With you!" Natsu yelled, his voice nearly cracking.
Gray leaned back from the alcohol smell, worried that if Natsu used his fire now, he might set the whole guild on fire. However, there was not the slightest flicker. Maybe Natsu could not use magic when drunk. What the hell was he going on about this time? A few people in the guild fell silent and glanced over in concern.
"I'm the one who had to watch you get hit, unable to get to you in time. I…" Natsu looked away, and for a moment Gray wondered if he was already drunk to the point of vomiting. However, rage continued to consume the teen. "I … had to stick my hand … inside your guts … and cauterize the arteries," he sneered, staring down at his fingers, vividly remembering that day. "I had to … feel your intestines!"
Gray flinched, and his stomach tensed up out of instinct.
"Don't you think that maybe that did something to me?" Natsu dropped his head and ground his teeth. Since that day, the smell of blood brought back horrific memories. Tears began to bead up in his eyes. "I had to … to carry you … with your leg practically hanging off your body." Natsu shuddered as that long walk, carrying a friend he feared was going to die, replayed in his mind.
Gray's face was pale. He knew Natsu had carried him from that battle all the way back to a hospital. He never thought about how traumatizing that experience was for the rest of the team. Only now did he realize that the whole team had been hiding their own mental anguish, so Gray did not have to feel even more guilt.
Softer, but still seething, Natsu asked, "They never told you, did they?"
"Told me what?" he asked, wondering if he really wanted the answer.
Natsu took a sip of alcohol to calm himself before he really began to sob. "When you were in surgery, the doctors ran out of blood. The whole trip to the hospital, you were hemorrhaging everywhere. By the time we got you there, you weren't even bleeding anymore. They said you didn't have enough blood in your body, and there was no way you could live. Then they needed to do more surgery, but … but they couldn't. There was no blood, and you were nearly completely bled out. So I told them to give you my blood."
Gray blinked in shock. "You … donated blood?"
Natsu nodded with a seriousness in his glazed eyes. "They … they were saying they could only take half a liter, and I kept insisting to take two liters, and they were all 'you're gonna die if you give that much,' and … you know what?" he yelled, and now the tears really were in his eyes. "I didn't give a fucking care!"
The whole guild was dead silent now, everyone watching. Lucy had tears in her eyes as she remembered that day. Erza's eyes were closed as the guilt of having taken off from the others to chase one of the dark wizards returned. Wendy trembled as she remembered her desperate attempts to revive Gray when he had died for a moment there on the battlefield. Happy looked down solemnly, remembering how Natsu had been so weak after donating blood, he could not even sit up in bed for a day.
Natsu's chest shuddered, and he angrily wiped the tears away. "I … I just wanted … to save you," he whispered. "Because I had to see you half dead. I couldn't get to you in time. I'm the one who had to watch … who had to see that, and … God, Gray! I don't ever wanna see that again," he wept, feeling sick as the scene ran through his head, "and I will do anything—anything—to help you."
Tears choked in his throat. He wanted to reach out, touch Gray, and show him how strongly he felt about this. However, he realized they were surrounded by Fairy Tail members. Natsu could not stop the tears anymore, but he still needed to say these things that had burned in his heart for far too long.
"If giving you my blood was just enough to save your life, then I will give anything to bring your life back … completely," he insisted in solemn determination. Quietly, he repeated in an oath, "I'll give anything to have you back in Fairy Tail. And I mean anything," he sneered, "because I was the one who reached into your body." His fists shook. "I was the one … who had to carry you back … and I don't ever wanna deal with that again. I don't … I can't … deal with that again. I can't deal with almost losing you. I just … can't."
Gray stared, trapped somewhere between awe and anger. "Natsu," he began quietly, but the anger crackled instantly. "You have no idea what I've been through. You have … no … idea … how something like that feels." Gray looked aside, but the inner rage—and fear—was still there. "Remember when we faced the dragons in Crocus? There was this moment where … I don't even know what happened: got a flash of the future, some premonition, or maybe … I dunno," he raged, although he knew Ultear must have been involved. "I saw … and I felt … myself being killed, shot through the chest, through the body, through my fucking head! And that day, I had to relive that. That nightmare came true! And in that weakest moment of mine, you were the one who had to see me. I was defeated, and you rescued me."
Natsu glanced up. He had heard Gray talk about that day in Crocus, but he never stopped to realize the implications. In that alternative future they had all experienced, Gray had died, and although it did not happen, the memories were still there, the sensations buried in his mind, feeling what it was like to die.
Gray scoffed and shook his head as he saw Natsu with an oblivious face. "Do you think you're all cool? Do you think seeing me bleeding was traumatic?" He sneered in a hiss. "Try getting a hole blasted through your fucking body! Try being told you'll never walk again. Get your guts blown to bits, and then you can cry to me. For right now, you're just the person who forced me to live on in shame. So stay the hell away from me." He sighed and looked away sadly. "Just … stay away."
That strange dream returned to his mind. "How much do you want your legs back? What would you give me? I'll do something about it. I'll make you whole, Gray. That's what you want most, right? I'll heal you, Gray, but it'll cost you. I want something better than just sex. I want to be your first love."
"I don't need your help," Gray whispered harshly. "I don't need you at all."
That stung deeper than anything. "You just need your fuck buddies, right?" Natsu said scathingly.
"Shut up!" Gray roared, slamming the drink out of Natsu's hand in rage. "What the hell is your problem? So I slept with a couple of girls. So fucking what?" he bellowed. "At least I can. At least … at least I…" Something bubbled up from deep within him. His stomach almost surged on him, and his hand went up to his mouth.
Natsu looked at him in worry. "Gray?"
"I can't," he screamed. "I … I couldn't…" He spun his wheelchair around and rolled out in anger.
"What the…? Gray, you bastard, don't run off."
Natsu chased after him and caught him in the courtyard outside the guild. He yanked the chair to a halt and slammed on the break to keep Gray from wheeling off.
"What the hell was that about?"
"It hurt too much, okay?" Gray screamed. "Those two girls … doing that with them … it hurt too much. I got them off, but they … to me … they couldn't! Two girls, and they couldn't! Because it was painful as hell. I can't even have sex!" he screamed. Gray gnashed his teeth and dropped his head. "Goddammit, I wish you really had just left me there that day."
Natsu balled his hands into fists and looked at Gray with blazing anger in his eyes. He turned Gray's wheelchair around a bit harshly so he could look in his face as he shouted, "Are you telling me I should have left you to die, abandoned you, watched you get killed, and do nothing to avenge Fairy Tail's pride? Are you saying I should have sat around at the hospital, knowing a way to save you was right there in my veins, and do nothing? Why?" he screamed. "Just because you can't have sex? Is sex that important to you?"
"I'll never be whole, Natsu. Never!" he shouted with tears in his eyes. "You will never know what this is like."
"Dammit, Gray! I won't sit on my ass and do absolutely nothing while my teammate bleeds to death, and I won't sit around and listen to you crying that you wish you were dead! I'm not about to watch as you slip away from me again." His eyes tightened in pain, but he continued, asking, "I saved you because you're my friend. Are you telling me you wouldn't have done the same for me?"
"If you want to die…"
He pulled Gray's shirt harshly and gritted his teeth. "No! I know you. You're like me. You'd sacrifice anything to keep one of your friends alive. You wouldn't sit back and watch them die. You wouldn't! You wouldn't!"
Gray grabbed Natsu's hands to stop them from shaking him. "Let go of me, asshole. Get the hell away from me!"
Gray did not want to continue this conversation. He knew Natsu had a valid point. He had too many bad memories of losing those he loved: his parents, his childhood friends, Ur, so many over the years. Still, it did not make him feel better simply by knowing that Natsu had done what any Fairy Tail wizard would do.
"Every day," Gray seethed. His hands clasped together, and a magical chill frosted around them. "You have no idea of the hell I'm living every fucking day!"
Lucy and others from Fairy Tail finally came out as they heard the commotion in the courtyard and the argument still raging. They stepped out just in time to see Natsu being pushed back by a ramming slab of ice. He flew backwards and slammed into the stone wall encircling the guild grounds.
Natsu furiously leaped back up, ready to run forward and fight. His eyes widen when he saw Gray's body shaking. Slowly, he pushed on the arms of the wheelchair and rose to his feet. His balance was off, his left leg was held up only by the thigh-high brace, and he stared down at his legs in disgust.
"Do you see this, Natsu?" he growled. "I can't even get up and beat the crap out of you. What do you want me to do? Tell me how I should be feeling! Should I be optimistic? 'Yay, I'm alive, I can't do a fucking thing, but I'm alive!' Is that how you'd feel in my place? Is it?" he roared.
Natsu stared at him, panting at the emotions raging within. "Death isn't an end to the pain. Death is surrendering any hope that things might get better."
"You know nothing of pain, Natsu!" Gray growled angrily, and his eyes started to tear up. "Living a life of constant agony, a never-ending hell, always reminded of that day, every little thing I do forcing me to realize that I lost my leg, lost my ability to fight … I lost my life that day."
Natsu cringed as he wished he knew how to get the ice-idiot to understand. "Gray, you're still alive. So long as you're still alive, there's still hope."
"No. There's nothing. Nothing more the doctors can do. No more miracle operations. Nothing is left for me. I can't walk, can't fight, can't even have sex. A life in a wheelchair, invalid and impotent…" His chest shook with tears he tried to hold back. "This isn't what I wanted."
"We don't always get what we want," Natsu shouted. "We take what fate gives us and we make the best of it. If we don't like it, we suck it up and find something that we do want."
"What I want is to have my life back! I'd give anything."
The dream replayed in his mind again.
"Anything," he whispered in anguish. "Hell, I'd give away my soul to a demon if I could get my leg back."
"And I'd give you my own leg if I thought it would help shut you up," Natsu screamed. "I'd give my life to save you."
In the doorway, Wendy gasped and covered her mouth, shaking her head with fear.
"I'll do something about it," Natsu insisted stubbornly. "Whatever it takes. I'll figure out a way to heal you."
Dream-Natsu echoed in Gray's ears. "I'll heal you, Gray, but it'll cost you."
"Like hell I'd agree to that!"
Natsu cocked his head in confusion. "Agree to what?"
"No!"
Suddenly, the wheelchair moved from the outburst, and Gray lost his balance. Natsu saw Gray falling and raced over to catch him. He dived forward, barely grabbing Gray in time. Natsu collapsed to the ground, using his own body to break Gray's fall.
Gray cringed in pain. He glared up at the sky. He had stared at the sky on that day, wanting to fly away into it and away from the pain. Now he was stuck here, and the pain never fully went away.
Natsu's face leaned down over his, those sage-green eyes tense with distraught, just as they had been on that day. "Are you okay?"
Gray scowled and looked away. Why was Natsu always getting into his face? Why was he always there when Gray felt weakest?
To the side, he heard mutters of worry. He looked over and saw the crowd that had gathered to watch.
"Don't you see, Natsu?" Gray whispered in shame. "Just look at them. Those are the faces I see all the time. That's what I'll see for the rest of my life." He scoffed in disgust. "Do you really think I enjoy living with those faces always staring at me and seeing nothing but some pitiful cripple?"
"Huh?" Natsu looked over to the guild hall door. The members of Fairy Tail stood back and watched, feeling sympathy for Gray. Natsu saw the pity in their eyes, and for a moment he felt anger. Why would they look at Gray this way? Why were they staring? It annoyed him. Then he wondered how Gray must feel about seeing these looks all the time.
"I hate it," Gray whispered. He buried his face into Natsu's chest, wanting to avoid those stares. "I hate how they stare at my legs. I hate the whispers. I hate feeling like I'm living only to having everyone feel sorry that I'm even alive."
"They don't feel that way!" Natsu vehemently protested. "All of us are glad you're alive."
"And you all pity me. You all think I can't do things, I shouldn't do things, I'm too weak to do things. And you're right! You're all correct about that. I'm weak. I can't walk. I can't do the things I used to do. I couldn't … with even two girls … I still couldn't!"
Natsu felt Gray's body shaking with anger and sadness. He glared over at the others and screamed at them, "What are you all standing there for, huh?" He looked at them, begging with his eyes that they understand and leave them alone.
Erza saw the look and nodded in understand. "Back inside, everyone. Stop being rude." The group turned at her orders and slowly shuffled back into the guild hall.
Gray gulped down sobs. He did not know which was more humiliating: his guild mates hearing his outburst about his dark feelings and surrounding him with pity in their eyes, or crying in the arms of the man who he just bellowed at and having his rival now comforting him.
Just as the emotions began to drown him, Gray felt Natsu tighten the grip on him. "They're gone. Just cry. It's only me here, and I already know you're a crybaby idiot, so … just cry, Gray. Let it all out while it's just us here."
"I … I won't…"
"It's all right if it's only me," Natsu said softly, holding him and stroking back the black hair. "You hate me anyway, so you can hate me for seeing you like this. It's fine if you hate me."
Gray buried his face down into the scarf as his shoulders shook. "Natsu, you bastard!"
"Yeah, like that," he smiled placidly.
"Not … gonna … cry."
Natsu rolled his eyes. "Of course not. Just be gross and cover me with snot."
"Asshole," Gray whispered, but he lost to the tears of frustration. "I really do hate this. I hate you! I hate having fun and liking that I'm alive, and then being in pain and hating my life. One or the other!" he screamed. "If it was just one or the other, I could know if I want to live or want to die."
"I won't let you die," Natsu said firmly, his hand stroking down the soft hair, holding Gray in a firm grip. "You're going to keep living and keep holding on to hope."
"Damn you," he cursed in a whisper.
Natsu lowered his lips to Gray's ear and whispered, "If you find hating me is a way for you to release your emotions, then hate me, curse me, and keep living so you'll be strong enough one day to beat me up. I'll wait."
"If I ever get my leg back, the first thing I'm doing is kicking your ass," Gray mumbled into the scarf.
Natsu smiled and squeezed him. "I'll give you one free shot, but after that I'm not gonna let you win." He looked down and saw Gray's bad leg twisted at a weird angle. His brow tightened at the sight of it. "I'll find a cure. Wendy said she has a lead, some dark guild that might have the answer. I'll search for them, for any magic to help you, even if it costs me my life."
Gray's eyes widened, and he gritted his teeth at Natsu's adamant words. "Why … why are you always like this?" he sneered, feeling overwhelmed with happiness that he did not want to feel, not toward Natsu at least.
Natsu just smiled at him. "How else should I be?"
"You should be an idiot. Stupid and patronizing and … and … and not like this."
Natsu gently placed his hand on the side of Gray's face, affectionately caressing the peachy soft skin. "Maybe I want to be like this, Gray."
The tension in Gray's face softened to shock. "What?" he whispered.
Natsu opened his mouth to speak, but the words choked off in his throat. His hand yanked back as if startled that he had done such a thing. Gray felt a chill as those burning fingers left his face.
"Nothing. Forget I said anything," Natsu said in a rush. "I'm just drunk. Sorry if that was weird." He picked Gray up quickly and placed him on his wheelchair. "Is that comfortable?"
"Um, y-yeah," he muttered in a daze. "Natsu … you…"
The Dragon Slayer suddenly turned his back and began to walk away from the guild.
"Hey, wait!"
Natsu stopped and slowly looked over his shoulder. Gray was still stunned, unable to find the words to say. His fists drew up, and he looked aside with annoyance.
"I … care for you."
Natsu's eyes widened and his heart began to race. "Wh-what?" he gasped.
"That day. That's what I was trying to say. I was dying. I didn't want you to think I died hating you, so I … I wanted to say just that much before the end. We fight, we're constantly at each other's throats, but … but I don't really hate you. I may say I do, but I don't. Not really. I … care for you."
"Really?" he asked in abetted hope.
"Of course, idiot! Dammit, Natsu, you're like the brother I never had. You're annoying as hell, but we're teammates, we're friends, we're family, we're … like brothers. Or more. I dunno," he said in frustration. "Before I died, I just really wanted you to know that. I wanted to assure you that I didn't hate you. I care for you … in my own way," he mumbled. "So even if I say that I hate you, even if we fight and beat each other up, don't forget. Okay? Don't forget that, deep down…" A reluctant smile wavered on Gray's lips. "…I care for you."
Natsu's lips shivered with emotions that boiled up from his heart. "Gray," he whispered.
"Oh, don't be all sobbing and sentimental like one of Lucy's romance novels," he snapped. "I'm just letting you know, that's what I said. Also, about that day: I'm sorry you went through hell, too. It must have been miserable on all of you. Maybe I don't show it enough, but I'm glad you all did so much to save me. I might not like how my life is, and it's damn depressing at times, but still, I'm glad you all worked so hard just for me. You could have just left me."
"You know we would never do something like that."
Gray smiled privately. "Yeah, I know. Fairy Tail is just that way, all of us." His brow tightened. "But now I feel gross, knowing I have your blood running through my veins. That's just wrong!"
Natsu laughed and sniffled. "At least I didn't have to donate a kidney."
"Having you inside me would be weird."
He froze as soon as he said it, and Natsu went utterly still, his heart fluttering with perverted thoughts. They both blushed and looked in opposite directions.
'Me … inside Gray?'
Gray laughed awkwardly. "Wow, that came out totally wrong."
"Y-yeah," Natsu laughed stiffly. "It'd definitely be … strange, right?"
"Yeah, it would be really weird," Gray muttered. He cautiously glanced up at Natsu and saw the blush on his cheeks. Gray trembled as he realized his heart was racing. "Natsu? Um … have you … ever…"
Before he could say more, Natsu ran off. "Gotta go, see ya!"
"Wait," Gray yelled, but the Dragon Slayer was much faster than he could roll his wheelchair. All Gray could do was watch the fluttering of the white scarf as Natsu sped away. "Dammit, you idiot," he whispered. "Why do you make me think the weirdest thoughts? Stupid flame-brain asshole!"

Natsu ran off with tears in his eyes.
"Stop it. Just stop!" he gnashed in anger at himself. "He cares for me … as a brother. Just as a brother. So stop thinking that way!"
He ran, but suddenly Natsu turned sharply into an alley. He wanted to make it home before this hit him, but the pain in his heart overflowed too soon. He hid behind a dumpster, hoping he was out of view from the public.
"Dammit!" he yelled, and he punched the graffitied wall. He collapsed against it, arms folded and hiding his head in the nook of his elbows. "Goddammit! Why … why him? He said he cares for me, but only as a brother. It'd be weird. He said so. It'd be weird!"
His shoulders shuddered, and he screwed his eyes shut tightly to try and dam back the tears.
"Me, inside Gray. How ridiculous! Me, inside him. My … thing … Goddammit, stop thinking about it!" he screamed as tears dripped down against his will. "Shit!" he whispered. "It'd be weird. He'd never want that. Not with me. He said he can't. Those girls, he couldn't with them. But … me … if it was with me…"
For just a moment, Natsu indulged in the fantasy. He wanted to lay Gray on a bed, touch him gently, treat every inch of his body with care, warm him up slowly, steadily, until the fire burned so greatly inside that icy heart, it would melt everything until his lust dripped out. He would soothe the pain, kiss away the aches, until only gentle and wonderful pleasure remained.
Gray would see that he could enjoy sex. He would realize he was not impotent. Natsu already knew he wasn't! He had heard it, smelled it, eavesdropped on the truth. Perhaps it hurt, but Gray could still experience that sort of bliss. He just needed to take his time.
Those girls must have tried to hurry him. Two girls at once was probably just too much. Natsu would take all the time Gray needed. He would go as slowly or as hurriedly as Gray asked. He would touch only as much as Gray could handle. Still, he wanted to touch, to lick, to feel that icy body grow hot in his hands, melting, dripping, that overflowing pleasure covering his hand as he slowly stroked Gray…
"Stop it!" he sobbed.
They were fantasies that he knew could never come true. Once before, he had dreams of happiness that were shattered. Once, he imagined that he would grow up to marry Lisanna, she would be his wife, they could raise Happy together, maybe even have kids of their own. Those boyish delights, so innocent and naïve at the time, were crushed the day Lisanna disappeared, presumed dead. The pain then was the same pain as now.
Except, Gray was right in front of him. He wanted that happiness, yet he could see those dreams freeze and shatter right in front of his eyes.
Right at that moment, Loke was walking down the street with a lady he met just that morning. He paused when he glanced down the alley and noticed the pink hair. He was about to call out to Natsu, but he faintly heard a sob. Loke slowed down. For a moment, he worried it might be about Lucy.
"I've gotta run, babe," he said to the girl. "I'll see you Friday night." He gave her a kiss on the cheek, and then he turned into the alley. "Natsu?" he called out softly.
The Dragon Slayer jolted and quickly wiped his eyes. "L-Loke!"
"Is everything all right?"
"Y- … um … not really," he admitted. "Hey Loke, have you ever genuinely been … um … i-in love?"
"Sure I have," he shrugged. "I might admire all sorts of ladies, but I've lost my heart to a few of them. Lucy, for example."
"What if they don't like you back?" Natsu asked. "Or, has that never happened to a popular guy like you?"
"It has. Again … Lucy, for example," he said with a bitterly wry smile.
Natsu frowned and looked down. "How do you deal with the pain?"
"I find another girl who helps me to forget about it. Don't tell me someone turned you down? Wait, was it Lucy?" He sounded hopeful. If Lucy rejected the Dragon Slayer, perhaps she was ready to accept the Lion!
"Not Lucy," Natsu muttered, and Loke's hope sank. "It's … it doesn't matter who," he grumbled, too embarrassed to admit it was Gray Fullbuster. "That person doesn't like me that way. We're just like … like siblings."
"Is that what she said?"
Natsu nodded silently, staring at the uneven brick floor of the alley.
"Ouch," Loke whispered. "Sounds like you need some serious man time."
Natsu looked up in confusion. "Man time?"
"You just got turned down. Let's show you that there are more fish in the ocean." He wrapped an arm around Natsu and pulled him out of the alley. "I know just the place."

Next Chapter: "Unexplained Pain"

A/N: It's currently late January 2015. Way back in October 2013, I had already planned this chapter, or a part of it at least. (That's how long I've had "Life After Near Death" in my plans.) I recorded the scene stuck in my head in what turned out to be an incredibly emotional outburst that I attempted to capture here in writing. If you want to hear just that brief recording, it's on Soundcloud.
http://soundcloud.com/rhov/life-after-near-death-chapter
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Life After Near Death