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Levi's Recollections	By : konokoz Category: +. to F > Attack on Titan /Shingeki No Kyojin Views: 1002 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin or any of the characters. This story is purely for entertainment, and I am not profiting from it.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
Just when I thought I couldn’t fit any more shit on my plate, he dropped in.
I never thought I would see him again. One day he was there then the next he was gone, and I thought it would stay that way forever. After all those years, he hadn’t changed except for the ugly wrinkles on his still ugly face. He was still quick and spry which was a problem for me, especially since he almost blasted a hole in my head.
To evade him, I landed on a roof and hid behind the chimney.
“Quit hidin’ boy,” he shot and the chimney exploded into pieces. I ducked then rushed him and our weapons clashed. “It’s good to see ya doin’ well. Still short as all hell though.”
“Still ugly and miserable as hell too, Kenny.”
“See them military dogs has taught us both some new tricks.”
“The Military Police put you up to this?”
The fact that Kenny was working for the MPs was flabbergasting considering his murderous past with them. I figured it meant some serious shit was about to go down, but I didn’t know what it was at the time. Plus, they weren’t taking prisoners either. They wanted the group that was protecting Eren and Historia dead. I had to regroup with them quick before the MPs caught up. But getting away from Kenny was proving to be difficult.
“I never thought I’d see the day that you, of all people, would work for the tightwads at the capital.” I said. “I hope they teach you how to play dead and stay dead.”
“Is that how ya talk to the man who taught ya so many things? Are ya still usin’ em? All of em?” A smug smile crept on his ugly face.
He dislodged from my blades and took aim at my stomach. I leapt back in time before he fired and avoided it, but the powerful blast sent shards of roof tile and shrapnel tearing at the front of my shirt.
He paused then roared with laughter at seeing the purple round bruises on the top of my chest.
“I reckon ya are! See them rumors are true! Ya and that commander are gettin’ fresh with each other. I heard he may have- uh lost a few things in that last mission,” he howled with his head back in hysterical laughter. “I reckon after I lop your head off, I’ll pay that one-armed fucker a visit and finish him off.”
“You piece of shit!” I stormed after him.
Even when I was younger, he always knew how to press my buttons. Now in my 30s, I still haven’t matured enough to ignore his taunts. I don’t think I ever could.
He blocked the swipe of my blade with one cylinder then suddenly two MP goons appeared. One on my left and right.
Shit.
I launched my maneuvering gear to the left and side swiped around the fucker, slicing up him while doing so, but pretty soon I was surrounded.
They chased me all over, and my body moved like lightning through those narrow streets. I hadn’t maneuvered like that in a long time– since the underground. Instinct set in and I was a wild cat again. I moved faster, saw clearer. Even though I was getting shot at, flying like that felt damn good.
“Whoo! Look at ya go!” He shouted, suddenly appearing from behind me and pointed his gun. I somehow dodged the blast and it blew a hole in the brick wall beside me and blood gushed from my forehead.
The way he fought me, it was just business. For his paycheck. Nothing personal. It didn’t matter if he raised me through my formative years.
A man’s gotta eat.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t the same way. I couldn’t help releasing the repressed hate I had for him, but it wasn’t the time to engage him or the MPs directly. I had to get away.
I saw a small bar straight ahead of me and I had a plan. It only left me a narrow window of escape, but it was better than nothing.
I went flying into the swinging bar doors and ducked behind the counter.
“You might wanna move,” I told the bar owner who was basically pissing his pants.
“Ya ain’t learnt nothin’!” The loud mouth burst in. “What did I drill into your head about not gettin’ cornered like a little rat?”
“I ain’t cornered Kenny,” I said from beneath the bar.
“Get out here, boy! I wanna see that cute little face of yours!”
“You almost blew it off a second ago. No thanks.”
I could see him through the glass bottles on the bar’s back shelf. That’s how I saw the chair come flying. Next, I was drenched in sticky alcohol and covered in shards of glass. Good thing I told the owner to move.
That whole setup was so familiar. Like when he was teaching me how to fight in the underground: He told me to hide, he stalked forward, his boots clicking on the hard ground, almost like a game of deadly hide and seek and if he found me, it was a slice from his blade across the cheek, a kick in the gut, or something else.
Remembering life in the underground and with Kenny brought back a plethora of complicated emotions. Both weren’t easy at all. The only way to deal with the lawless madness of the city was to become lawless. You looked out for only yourself, and fuck everyone else. Down there, you could bear witness to the many disgusting levels of human degradation, and if you wanted to have some type of equilibrium there you either took part in the debauchery or died – and I didn’t want to die. It’s not like you had a choice anyways because the city had a way of sucking your morality dry like a sleazy whore.
That’s what Kenny taught me anyways.
Day to day living with Kenny was unpredictable. Some days he was a chill, tolerable guy. He taught me how to use a knife, fight, and on the rougher nights when I was beaten to a pulp, he brought back dinner. Those days weren’t so bad, but most days he was a selfish ruthless bastard, who used me for his own gain.
“Boy, I tell ya. Seein’ ya move out there brought back some fond memories of when ya were a little boy. Well ya still are little,” he howled like a maniac. “Still, I didn’t think ya’d use my teachings to swipe at giants outside the walls. But I’ll admit I can see why ya joined the Survey Corps. When ya got out of that shitty underground city and ya learned how big the world really was, it blew your little mind, didn’t it? Hell, it blew mine! We made it boy, but now here we are still doin’ what we were doin’ then.”
“And what is that, Kenny?”
I didn’t know what the hell he was prattling on about. He always did like to run his mouth which I let him so I could ready the loaded shotgun tucked under the counter. I knew there was a small chance that the owner would have one.
“Survivin’ hell by any means!” he went on. “Only difference is now we get paid to do it! We both found somethin’ to do for a livin’. That’s why I teamed up with them capital pigs. Ya gotta learn that men need ambitions and hobbies to get us goin’. People in the underground ain’t got those so they waste away. Now, I got a great hobby killin’ all you Survey people and others, and I see ya found yourself a good hobby between that commander’s legs,” he laughed more while getting ready to launch another chair.
“Yeah,” I replied and shut him up by pointing the shotgun back and putting a slug in his chest. I knew it wouldn’t kill him, but it bought me enough time to get the hell out. I burst out the nearest window and fled, mercilessly dicing up all the MPs in my way.
As I fled, I thought about what Kenny had said, and I had to admit that he was kinda right because I was thinking the same thing.
Nothing had changed.
After all these years I’ve been with the scouts, nothing had changed. I just went from one hell to another. Everything was just looping back around. Repeating. As if I was supposed to be seeing something that I kept missing.
I was still confused. About my life. The titans. The plans of the government. Erwin. Everything! When was shit gonna start making sense? I was sick of walking in darkness. Why? Why was I doing all this shit? When was I gonna find peace?
Then it hit me: Constant confusion. Walking in darkness. The persistent questioning of everything. Never finding peace. Was this how Erwin felt all the time?
Comprehending this empathetic connection felt like I had a revelation. If I helped him clear away all these obstacles maybe I could finally start to see his dream too or better yet my own. What were my own dreams? What did I want at the end of all of this?
I didn’t have a solid answer for that, but I felt like I was a step closer.
Then I concluded that Kenny was wrong. The hell that was the underground was corrupted, festering, and unchanging like still water. The people were selfish and thought of their own survival.
This hell was different. This hell was survivable because it was rapidly changing, evolving, because people were making selfless efforts to progress humanity, and it was my selfless duty to protect those people.
They were the reason I was getting closer and closer to seeing Erwin’s vision. The people, my friends, in this fresh hell counted on me. It felt good to be counted on, to be wanted.
They were giving me the perseverance to keep fighting, and they were sacrificing too much of themselves for me to be stupidly ruminating in my own self-consciousness and misery like Kenny. That’s what was different.
If all it took was for me to sacrifice my peace of mind in order to protect the people that relied on me and loved me then I’d do it in a heartbeat, over and over, and I’d be damned if I was gonna let that old shit wipe take any more them away from me.
- 9
- 10
- 11
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Levi's Recollections