Crash

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Chapter 12

Just as they finisgettgetting all their things set up in their
respective rooms, Shuuichi glanced at his watch. \"We should go--
dinner\'s always at seven.\" He offered Yuki a humorless smile. \"Are
you okay for this?\" //Because I\'m not sure I am.//

\"I\'m fine,\" Yuki assured. He\'d shared dinners with every kind of
person imaginable, as far as he was concerned--he could handle a
dinner with Shuuichi\'s family. At least...he hoped so. It wasn\'t like
he was going to lose his cool, in any case. \"I\'m more worried about
you,\" he admitted. \"You going to hold up?\"

He nodded firmly, though he felt far less sure than he tried to
appear. \"\'Course I will,\" he said, swinging around to head out the
door. //I hope. Though...they probably won\'t lay off, just because
I\'m hurt.// \"My mom\'s a pretty okay cook,\" he added, as if to
distract Yuki from his worried state.

Yuki followed him out the and and down the hall, nodding
vaguely. \"I\'m sure it\'ll be fine.\" There wasn\'t any use in worrying
about it now; they were already here. But just seeing Shuuichi\'s face
like that put him a little on guard, and he steeled himself for what
was to come.

Luckily, the start of the dinner went as smoothly as could be
expected. Shuuichi\'s grandfather rambled on about his farm, the
latest news around their small town, the farm, what the neighbor\'s
daughter was learning at some wayward shrine she was going to, the
cost of seed, and the farm. Shuuichi nodded politely, just thankful
that the conversation was staying away from him.

\"So,\" Toshibuya started, and Shuuichi winced as he glanced between
him and Yuki. \"How do you boys know each other?\" He faced Yuki,
obviously expecting him to answer.

\"We met by coincidence,\" Yuki replied smoothly. He\'d expected and
prepared for these kinds of questions. \"I work as a writer, and I
came across some of Shuuichi\'s song lyrics by accident.\" //Since then…
well, they don\'t need to know the rest.//

Toshibuya chuckled. \"Writer huh? Not much writing skill in what he
does.\" He jerked a thumb at Shuuichi without looking at him, going on
before anyone could protest. \"So I suppose that\'s working out for
you, is it? Really flashy car you got out there. You write anything
good?\"

Shuuichi glanced back and forth between the pair, shifting
uncomfortably. The low table made it difficult for him--sitting on
the floor, his right leg bent in front of him while his left stuck
out into the room. //Please, let him be impressed. Let him not find
anything to complain about.//

\"I\'m not sure if I can be a good judge of that,\" Yuki replied
humbly, \"but I think I\'ve done well enough. I\'ve been getting by.\" He
felt like...he was doing an interview. \"Though I\'m afraid you
probably haven\'t heard of them, as my audience is mostly women.\"

Shuuichi\'s grandmother snorted. \"Trash, then.\"

Yuki glanced at her, but he\'d heard that one, too. \"I try to keep it
from that,\" he replied graciously, \"but I can\'t argue with what the
public wants.\"

Toshibuya nodded. \"Yeah, the public. Them with their \'fads\' and
their \'popularity.\'\" He smiled, eyes narrowed. \"I suppose you\'re
pretty good, huh? Change what you write to please the public, right?\"

Shuuichi shivered a bit, though he wasn\'t sure why. Where...was he
grandfather going with this?

\"Sometimes,\" Yuki admitted. He didn\'t want to get too deeply into
this--he didn\'t care what Shuuichi\'s father thought of him, only...he
didn\'t want Shuuichi to be upset about it. //We can talk it out
later, if he wants.// \"But it\'s still my writing, and I do want I can
to keep from being influenced too much.\" He bowed his head
slightly. \"Though I\'m sure those hardships are nothing compared to
what you go through here.\"

\"Damn right,\" he muttered. \"Can\'t break an ankle or catch a fever
sitting in a nice cushy chair, I\'d bet.\" Toshibuya sat back as Tokiko
began to clear the dinner dishes away. His eyes slowly moved towards
Shuuichi, as if hunting for a new target. \"So you learning anything
from this guy?\" he asked. \"Or are you just paying him to write for
you?\"

Shuuichi straightened a bit. \"Of course not,\" he replied, trying not
to let the accusation affect him. //Of all the crazy things to
say.// \"I write all my own lyrics.\"

\"Shuuichi, do not raise your voice at your Grandfather,\" his mother
quietly interrupted.

Yuki glanced briefly between them. \"Shuuichi\'s never asked for my
help with his lyrics,\" he said quietly, as if having realized it
himself for the first time. \"He\'s become quite popular on his own.\"

\"Hmph, popular.\" Toshibuya grinned, as if he didn\'t believe the
statement. \"Not really gonna matter much now, is it? Being all busted
up like that--can\'t really bounce around a stage with a messed up e, ee, eh?\"

Shuuichi\'s eyes widened. \"It\'s not gonna be like this forever,\" he
protested. \"My legs will heal--\"

His mother returned from the kitchen, bringing the dessert Yuki had
brought. \"Shuuichi--\"

\"I\'m not raising my voice!\" he interrupted. \"I\'ve already gotten a
lot better since it happened--I\'m going to get on stage again!\"

Yuki reached out slowly, taking Shuuichi\'s wrist with a gentle
squeeze. //I know, but this isn\'t going to help. You…have to calm
down.// Yuki retrieved his hand just as carefully, hoping none of
them had noticed the slight gesture. \"Hopefully,\" he replied easily
to Toshibuya, \"with the help of his friends, Shuuichi will be able to
make a full recovery.\"

\"Heh! You gonna carry him around the stage then?\" he asked, laughing
at the idea. \"Maybe wheel him around? I\'d sure pay to see that--laugh
my ass right off.\"

Despite Yuki\'s silent warning, Shuuichi felt his chest tightening
with every word. \"My friends have been helping,\" he replied
angrily. \"Yuki and Hiro and Sakuma-san--everyone\'s been so nice,
taking care of me--\"

\"Still can\'t take care of yourself, huh? Left home and still mooching
off everyone--\"

\"I won\'t let you talk like that!\" Shuuichi nearly shouted.

\"Shuuichi!\" his mother hissed again.

Yuki snatched his lover\'s hand once more, pinning it to the
floor. //Damnit, Shuuichi.// Determined not to let this escalate into
a shouting match, he tried to keep his voice light and even. \"I\'m
sure Shuuichi appreciates your concern, but he\'s doing just fine.
He\'ll be back on his feet in a few weeks.\"

Toshibuya was grinning now, clearly enjoying the argument and his
grandson\'s reddening face. //Hit a nerve that time.// \"If he was
fine,\" he reasoned, \"he would have been smart enough not to run in
front of the damn car. Just making more trouble for everyone.\"

\"I\'m not making trouble!\" Shuuichi couldn\'t help snapping,
shivering. \"You don\'t understand at all! I don\'t--I don\'t want to
make trouble for anyone!\" He slammed his free hand on the
table. \"Damnit, you don\'t know any--\"

He cut off suddenly as his head spun, his chest tightening painfully,
and he fell into a fit of painful coughing. //Damnit--damnit all!//

\"Shuuichi--\" Yuki edged closer, setting a hand on the boy\'s back as
he shook. //Damnit. I didn\'t think this would be easy, but…you\'re
sure not helping anything, Shuuichi.// His gaze flickered back to
Toshibuya, and he couldn\'t help some of his usual coldness from
seeping in. \"Don\'t you think that\'s enough?\"

Toshibuya raised an eyebrow. \"Sets of quick, don\'t he.\" He smiled as
he finally accepted a plate his his daughter, starting in on his
dessert calmly.

Shuuichi shuddered, wrapping his arms around his chest--his ribs were
aching. //Yuki....// He covered his mouth, wishing he could hide
under the table. //I...I\'ve never tried to be trouble. I
just...sometimes I can\'t....//

Yuki snorted quietly as he kept his hand against Shuuichi\'s back,
rubbing it gently in hopes of calming him. //This is no good.// \"I\'m
sorry, but I think it\'d be best if I took Shuuichi back to his room,
so he can rest.\" He gave Shuuichi a tiny shake. \"Can you stand?\"

Shuuichi nodded, forcing himself to take slow, shallow breaths. //I\'m
sorry...Yuki....// Once he was on his feet, though, he gingerly
pulled away from his lover. \"I can make it myself,\" he murmured,
determined to at least be able to walk without help in front of his
family.

\"We will be out early,\" Tokiko suddenly said, sitting with her own
plate and offering one to her mother. \"There will be cold food in the
fridge.\"

Yuki watched with eyes thinned as Shuuichi made his way slowly across
the room. //Well fuck, you\'re leaving me here?// Smothering a frown
he returned to his seat at the table, and though he\'d lost his
appetite helped himself to some dessert. \"I\'m sorry,\" he apologized
evenly once Shuuichi had left. \"I didn\'t mean to cause a scene.\"

\"It is not your fault, Yuki-san,\" Tokiko replied calmly between
bites. \"Shuuichi has always been that way. I suppose it is in his
nature to be...loud.\" She frowned faintly, though her mother was
nodding her agreement.

\"He\'s spoiled, that\'s what he is,\" Toshibuya threw in. He pointed a
finger at Yuki. \"You watch out for him. Suck you dry, that\'s what
he\'ll do. Taking advantage of everything--taking things for granted.\"
He shook his head. \"Damn spoiled.\"

Yuki regarded the man somewhat blankly. He...couldn\'t deny it, not
completely. Shuuichi had forced his way into Yuki\'s life, after all,
drained and exhausted him. Making him change all the while. He
glanced back down at his dessert, picking at it distastefully. \"He\'s
a good kid,\" he offered. \"I wish I had his energy.\"

\"Heh. At least you seem to have some sense, though,\" he continued,
giving the other a knowing smirk. \"Best to keep away from someone
like him. Bloodsucker, that\'s what. Broke up the marriage we worked
so hard to put together.\"

\"Father, you know that is not true,\" Tokiko corrected softly, though
not with the conviction she could have. \"Shindou-san and I
had...certain differences.\"

\"Lazy bastard,\" Mariko muttered, almost to herself.

This time Yuki didn\'t try to hold back a bitter grimace. //But
Shindou-san….// He shoved a forkful of dessert into his mouth to keep
from saying anything. After he\'d taken a moment to collect his
thoughts he said, \"You have my condolences. Though I\'m afraid I don\'t
know Shindou-san very well.\"

Toshibuya nodded. \"He\'s the one that spoiled the kid,\" he said
knowingly. \"Letting him run around, drop out of college.\" He frowned
as he drank from his sake cup, holding it out to Tokiko to
refill. \"Letting him play \'rock star.\' Damn fool, that guy. Should
have made manager by their second year of marriage, but no--he had to
be happy where he was.\" He drank again.

That made Yuki pause, and he lifted his eyes once more. Something
twisted faintly at the back of his throat. \"Is it really so bad?\" he
asked, his voice sounding a bit dry. \"Being happy?\"

\"Who\'s happy?\" he challenged. \"My daughter ends up with a salaryman
and two obnoxious, spoiled children. Shindou\'s left trying to support
that monster of a girl. That boy wastes what money they had on a year
and a half of college before deciding to be some kind of music star.
Now this.\" He waved towards the door where Shuuichi had
disappeared. \"Can\'t even get through an argument without getting out
of breath, can he? Bet his company even footed the hospital bill,
didn\'t they? Got off lucky on that one.\"

Yuki did his best not to let his face reflect any of what he was
feeling. Which...he had no idea what it might have looked like,
anyway. \"It\'s none of my business,\" he stated quietly, \"but maybe
it\'s just that you measure happiness different than Shindou-san and
his son.\" His fingers of one hand curled beneath the table. //Why am
I saying this?// \"I\'m glad to have met them.\"

Toshibuya snorted. \"At least then you get to see what mistakes not to
make.\" Deeming himself finished, he pushed away from the table and up
to his feet. \"Got an early day. Don\'t let that boy break anything or
ruin the floors, okay?\" He waited a moment for Mariko to follow, and
the pair left their daughter to begin cleaning the dishes.

Tokiko began gathering the last of the dishes. \"You may leave yours
here,\" she said easily. \"I shall clean up before retiring as well.\"
Glancing at the clock, she sent Yuki a measuring look. \"I do not know
what sort of hours authors keep, but feel free to uhe phe public
rooms of the house. We go to bed quite early here, after all.\" She
nodded her head. \"My parents need their...undisturbed rest.\"

\"Of course. Thank you.\" Yuki bowed his head lowly. \"Thank you for the
meal.\" Feeling somewhat lightheaded he pushed to his feet, leaving
his dishes as she\'d offered. And…he didn\'t want to leave things like
this for the night. Even if it wasn\'t his business, and he\'d probably
say the wrong thing.... He sighed. \"Nokiro-san. I know I don\'t have
any right in saying this, but...your son is all right, where he is.
He\'ll be all right.\" He glanced away in embarrassment. \"I
just...wanted you to know that.\"

Tokiko raised her head, watching the author a moment. \"I do not share
those thoughts,\" she replied simply. \"He was always trouble, as a
child. And he does not seem to have grown up since I last saw him.\"
Scooping up the last of the dishes, she headed for the kitchen. \"Good
night, Yuki-san.\"

Yuki snorted faintly as he headed for the door. He wanted to reply,
but he suddenly didn\'t have the energy for it. \"I see. Goodnight,
Nokiro-san.\" With a final nod he excused himself at last. Once he was
out in the hall he rubbed his eyes. //Damn. I…should check on
Shuuichi....// Sighing, he headed toward the back of the house.

Shuuichi had managed to get his futon out and more or less organized.
When he heard footsteps coming down the hall, he was sitting
shirtless on the rumpled blankets, trying to figure out how he was
going to get his shorts the rest of the way down his cast-covered leg-
-he couldn\'t reach to the end. Only a few angry, painful tears had
leaked from his eyes, the only evidence of them being a few tracks
and his occasional sniffle. When the footsteps paused and were
followed by a soft knock, he hastily scrubbed at his face. \"Come in.\"

Yuki slipped inside without a word; he had expected to find Shuuichi
like this, so he didn\'t hesitate in kneeliown own next to him,
helping him remove his shorts. \"Hey.\" He glanced only briefly up at
Shuuichi\'s face. \"Are you all right?\"

He flushed as Yuki removed his shorts, leaving him in his
boxers. //Even something like this...I need help.// \"I\'m fine,\"
Shuuichi replied around a sniffle, wishing Yuki wasn\'t seeing him
like this. \"They...weren\'t mean to you, were they?\" he asked, worried
by what his grandfather might say.

\"They were fine,\" Yuki replied easily. \"I\'ve had worse.\" He folded
Shuuichi\'s shorts and put them aside before returning to the boy\'s
side, watching him. And he didn\'t want to make Shuuichi more upset,
but he had to say something. \"You shouldn\'t have gotten worked up
back there.\"

\"Can\'t help it,\" he muttered. \"It\'s been a while since...I\'ve been
here. Kinda forgot how awful they can be.\" Shuuichi sniffled again,
rubbing his nose. \"Usually he\'s worse--going on about my dad, how
worthless he is, how he didn\'t make it to manager....\"

\"Well, taking it seriously won\'t help.\" Yuki met his gaze critically
for a moment, trying to convey some of his seriousness. \"Don\'t worry
about me. And don\'t worry about them--they don\'t know anything. All
right?\"

Shuuichi glanced away. //But....// \"They\'re right, though,\" he
mumbled, almost to himself. \"About me....\" He turned suddenly,
wrapping his arms around Yuki\'s neck and hiding his face against his
shoulder. //As long as he\'s still here...I\'ll be okay. I....//

Yuki sighed, holding Shuuichi against him. \"They don\'t know
anything,\" he repeated quietly, but firmly. \"In three weeks your
casts will be off and your lungs will have healed, and you\'ll be back
on stage. You know that, so don\'t you dare tell me otherwise.\"

He shook his head faintly. \"It\'s not that,\" he said, but...his
strength was waning. Like it always did when he was here. Shuuichi
slowly pulled back, wiping at his nose. \"Sorr\'m \'m being a baby
again.\"

But Yuki wasn\'t going to get away with just that. He touched
Shuuichi\'s chin, forcing their eyes to meet. //If he doesn\'t say it
now, it\'ll be worse later.// \"What is it, then?\"

Shuuichi did his best not to face the other, squirming beneath that
intense gaze. \"I....\" //Yuki, please....// But he could never lie to
his lover, and he\'d found it better to just not try. \"They were
right...about me being...spoiled.\" His shoulders hunched. \"I don\'t
mean it, I don\'t want anyone to have to take care of me, and I try
really hard....\"

Yuki made a face. \"Didn\'t bother you before,\" he muttered, but he
didn\'t really mean that, and he was quick to take it back. \"I\'m just
teasing. Come on, now.\" He tapped Shuuichi\'s cheek lightly. \"If you
weren\'t so stubborn you wouldn\'t have come back all those times I
kicked you out, and then where would you be?\"

//Probably living with Hiro.// He quickly pushed aside that
thought. \"Yuki...?\" Shuuichi wanted to ask what the other thought,
but he changed his mind. //I\'ll just...get better. Once I\'m better,
I\'ll make another record, sell another million copies.... Then I\'ll
pay him back.// He shook his head. \"Never mind. I\'m okay.\" Shuuichi
stole a quick kiss, just to prove he was better, then another because
the last had felt really good. \"Thanks for checking on me.\"

\"That\'s what I came for.\" Yuki leaned forward without realizing,
pressing their lips firmly together one more time before he pulled
back and pushed to his feet. \"I\'m going to sleep now, but I\'ll be
back in the morning.\"

\"Okay.\" He smiled as the other headed for the door. //I don\'t want
him to have to worry about me, but...for now, this is okay.//
Shuuichi blew Yuki a silent kiss, wishing for a moment that they
wouldn\'t have to sleep apart--he missed being close to him. \"Sleep
well, Yuki.\"

\"Good night.\" Without hesitating further Yuki left, closing the panel
quietly behind him. //Hold together, Shuuichi. You can\'t lose to
people like this.// He scratched lightly at the back of his
neck. //But…damnit, they are his parents.// Sighing, he finally
returned to his own room for the night.

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