Haunted

Chapter 11: Reconciliation

“I can’t hear you, can you speak louder?” Shuichi asked over his mobile phone while he walked along the crowded area where the concert was being held tonight at Shinjou Park.
“Serena, are you still there?”
With the Nittle Grasper singing on stage, and the crowd growing wild—plus the humongous amplifiers stationed at every corner, it was impossible for anyone who would try to talk to someone excepting that they are two miles away from the roaring crowd.
“Serena? Serena… I can’t hear you, are you still there? I’m standing under an oak tree five hundred meters from the food stands… hello? Are you listening? Look, I think we—”
His voice suddenly trailed off when a familiar scent drifted along.
He thought he may be hallucinating, but maybe this is real.
Shuichi slowly spun around and carefully went behind the tree, where he found the least person he was expecting.
“Your voice is still deafening even when all hell has broken loose.”
Shuichi could almost die right then and there.
How long has it been? Three months? Five months? Six?
“So what are you doing here? Why aren’t you on stage?”
Yuki Eiri asked him while he stood there, his back on the huge trunk with his other foot rested upon it.
He was smoking his favorite cigar and was wearing a black knitted sweater, some old jeans and a thick red scarf entwined around his neck.
What the hell was he doing here?
Since when did he like attending concerts?
Was he in a date?
Who’s he taking out?
Was it that fast to replace him?
What the hell is going on?
This is all too much for Shuichi…
He almost forgot his ex-lover’s question and instantly remembered it when Yuki blew his cigar on purposefully in front of him.
“I’m not really a part of Nittle Grasper, and we’re not collaborating or anything of that sort…” he said plainly, without showing any hint of emotion, or regret.
He was staring silently at his ex-lover who on the other hand was totally unperturbed.
Yuki shrugged his shoulders off and stood up straight. He had finished his other cigar and was about to take another one when Shuichi added something,
“And you? What are you doing here?”
Yuki looked at him and smiled,
“Fresh air. I needed to get out of my office.”
Shuichi almost laughed out loud but successfully contained himself, though unsuccessful in preventing his broad smile.
The irony of Yuki’s statement was so hilarious that Yuki himself almost smiled.
“Oh fuck…” He mumbled, already chuckling under his breath.
“How come I find it so impossible to believe that a smoker like you would want a fresh air for a change?” Shuichi teased, laughing with Yuki Eiri out of all the small reasons.
A few seconds passed by and the silence was slowly eating them.
Yuki was looking paler than ever, Shuichi thought. He was thinner and his back was arched more than usual.
“Were you supposed to see someone?” Yuki asked softly.
The question just popped out of the blue. And the surprising part about it was that it didn’t sound like a question, it sounded more like of a statement.
Shuichi opened his mouth to say something, then it hit him that the question was trying to imply that Yuki knew about Seige and that he thought that they were having an affair.
Of course he knows about Seige… we bumped into each other at the opera…Shuichi remembered.
“Yes, actually I am.” Shuichi said, “I’m supposed to meet the Tokigawa sisters somewhere, but unfortunately I can’t find them anywhere. I’ve tried calling Serena over and over again, but I just can’t hear her.”
Shuichi swore that he saw a hint of relief in those cold, sad azure eyes. Yuki looked away and took a long sip from his cigar.
“Have you eaten?” he asked.
Shuichi couldn’t very much understand this conversation, but he had a feeling that Yuki was up to something.
“Uh… not yet actually… I was hoping to eat with Serena and her sisters but…”
Shuichi was staring at the ground but he could feel that those magnificent eyes were gazing at him right now.
“We can go in a restaurant or somewhere… if you want.”
Shuichi finally understood what Yuki meant. There were no extra words needed to be said, only the emotion being exchanged between the two of them.
Shuichi looked at those navy eyes once again and didn’t understand why he was attracted to it. It was those very same eyes that made him so alive before, and it’s still the same eyes that’s making him alive again, right this very moment.

Serena was probably looking for him right now. Shuichi could always call her again, especially now that he was far away from the noisy, banging crowd.

But he didn’t.

And he didn’t want to.

Because he can’t

And he won’t.

“Yeah sure… I think I’d like that.” Shuichi replied softly and bit his lower lip after saying it.
Shuichi knew that right after he made that statement, he was going to have to face the world again with this man. And Yuki knew that too.

Against all odds…that was the perfect phrase for the both of them.
Yuki smiled at him, threw his cigar on the ground and crushed it with his foot. He didn’t speak after that. He just took Shuichi’s arm with a surprising force and was almost dragging him away.
But Shuichi didn’t complain. In fact, he was enjoying this.
Yuki didn’t really say anything, even when they were inside his car.

In fact, he didn’t really say anything either for the whole night.

Because at that night, he expressed everything he wanted to say on his bed with the person he missed too dearly, that he himself hated to admit the truth which was exceedingly obvious from the ways he made love with his ex-lover.

Or lover. Without the ex prefix with it.


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What could’ve turned out to be a fling turned out to be something wonderful. How can someone forget the person who loved you so much that he was willing to let go of anything just to be with you? How can a person forgive his lover when he hurt him too deeply and took him for granted all along?
These questions popped into Yuki’s mind. It did while he was making love with his koibito. He wanted to know the answers, but somehow, someway, he found the answers while he made love with this boy.

The following morning… afternoon actually… Exhausted, Shuichi laid happily on top of his lover’s body. He was smiling broadly but he didn’t dare open his eyes.
But the moment he did, he could see the mirth inside those deep, lucid blue eyes.
“You’re up early.” Yuki teased sarcastically.
“And so are you.” Shuichi shot back and carefully touched his lover’s face. Shuichi could feel the rugged skin on Yuki’s cheeks and he liked the feel of that. Yuki didn’t flinch. He liked the way Shuichi was stroking him. Especially the way he held him last night.
Yuki was just holding Shuichi right now, his arms wrapped possessively around him and his head lying on the pillows, while looking at the beautiful red haired boy who was grinning at him.
Shuichi bent forward and kissed Yuki on the forehead, and then on the nose, then on the lips, then on the neck, and continued downwards, staying at the chest.
Yuki closed his eyes and held Shuichi’s head. Shuichi stopped kissing Yuki’s chest and laid his head on it. They were both staring into space, both thinking about the consequences of their ‘undoing’.
Suddenly, Shuichi’s phone started ringing. It was inside his brown jacket, which was lying across the floor, together with his other clothes and Yuki’s.
The couple was silent, listening to the endless ringing of the mobile phone. Neither of them was moving, but Yuki finally did.
“You should answer that.” Yuki said, slowly standing up, which made Shuichi sit up on the bed and watched his lover put back his clothes on.

When Yuki was out of sight. Shuichi was still there, on the bed, still naked, and listening to his phone ringing again and again.
Outside Yuki’s bedroom, Yuki was inside his office, lying on his chair while staring up on the ceiling. His polo was open, showing off his bare chest and his pants were unzipped.
He was listening intently to Shuichi’s cell phone when it suddenly stopped ringing.
He closed his eyes and sighed deeply.
This was crazy, he thought. And they both knew it.
For Yuki, when that phone stopped ringing, it meant that Shuichi was going back to his own world, leaving him behind.
Again.
Alone.
As always.

“Why did you leave the bed?”
Yuki was startled when he heard his lover’s voice a few feet away from him. Shuichi was leaning on the doorframe, his sweet face staring lovingly at him with his arms folded across his chest.
Yuki noticed that he was wearing his shirt, and it hung loose on him. It was so large that Shuichi’s other shoulder was exposed, which gave off a very sexy look.
Yuki watched Shuichi walk towards him. His young lover’s hair was in disarray, and surprisingly, his face was thoroughly flushed and his lips were puffy and red.
Probably because of his kisses, Yuki thought proudly.
But then reality started pouring back at him and he had to focus right now.
This wasn’t right. He’s using him again, and later on he’ll most likely break up with him. It’s like a cycle, and he didn’t want to do that again. Shuichi doesn’t deserve that.
Shuichi doesn’t deserve him.
But God knows how Yuki wanted him.
Needed him.
Longed for him.
Prayed for him.
And maybe… just maybe… even…
“What are you thinking about?” Shuichi asked, sitting on Yuki’s lap, his thighs wide apart embracing Yuki’s waist, facing Yuki and caressing his pale face.
Yuki looked at this boy and had to stop the urge from kissing him and hauling him on his desk.
Instead, Yuki took off Shuichi’s hand away from his face and said,
“Who was on the line?” he asked without looking at Shuichi and started opening his laptop without bothering to push Shuichi away. (Thankfully)
“I didn’t answer it.”
So he knew, Yuki thought. He felt that too.
Shuichi knew that once he answered his phone, it meant that he was going to give up on their relationship. And he knew that that simple act meant a lot to Yuki.
But even if Yuki was deeply relieved that Shuichi didn’t answer his phone, nothing has still changed.
“You should go.” Yuki said silently without looking up.
Shuichi stared at this cold, unbelievable man and said,
“Do you want me to?” he asked.
Yuki, in all honestly, didn’t know how to answer that question, instead, he said,
“Whoever was trying to reach you, I’m sure she… or he wants answers.”
Shuichi didn’t want to give up on Yuki. He wanted to get this relationship back again. And no one was going stop him, not even Yuki.
“Why? Are you assuming that it was Seige?” Shuichi asked bluntly.
“Who else could it be?”
“Serena… or Kei… or Hiro…”
“Makes no difference.” Yuki shot back.
Shuichi leaned closer to Yuki and brushed his nose on his lover’s face,
“I don’t think so.” He teased.
“What the hell do you mean?” Yuki asked, his hands starting to type on the keypads, but surprisingly not pushing Shuichi away.
Shuichi was trapped inside Yuki’s arms and he found that strange since Yuki wanted him to go away.
That meant a lot.
Yuki kept on typing while Shuichi was curled up between his arms. Shuichi was nuzzling him and Yuki almost forgot that he was asking a question.

Shindou Shuichi was enjoying this!

“You’re not answering me.” Yuki insisted his question and Shuichi just smiled.
“You’re jealous… aren’t you?” Shuichi asked.
Yuki didn’t show any hint of emotion but said,
“You were dating him last night, weren’t you?”
“Don’t answer me with another question.” Shuichi stomped.
“I asked you first.”
“Well I asked you second.” Shuichi whined,
“And now I’m asking you third.” Yuki grunted and noticed how sweet this argument was.
When Yuki didn’t speak afterwards, Shuichi sighed and said,
“Alright, my jealous lover,” Shuichi teased again, “to answer your first question: No, I wasn’t dating Seige last night—and that’s the truth. Whether you accept it or not, I was really supposed to meet with Serena and her sisters but then I saw you and you took me back in this forsaken apartment and made love with me.”
“You mean you had sex with me?”
“Made love.”
“Sex.”
“You’re impossible.” Shuichi said and pinched Yuki’s side.
Yuki could have smiled if the situation weren’t so complicated like this, and then unexpectedly, Shuichi threw his arms around his neck and said,
“And to answer your second question, when you asked me what I meant when you asked me about Seige…” While speaking of the truth, Shuichi was deliberately seducing Yuki, “I think…” he said, tugging on Yuki’s earlobe and licking it slowly then making his tongue’s way inside, “that you… are …one… jealous… lover.” He said and cupped Yuki’s face in his hands, and this time, he could see those eyes wanting more.
And so was he.
Yuki captured Shuichi’s lips in a hard demanding kiss. Shuichi didn’t repel from his touch, instead, he yielded to it and gave himself completely. He was surrendering himself completely again and he let Yuki do whatever he wanted to do, just to satisfy his blonde lover’s needs.
“You’ll regret this.” Yuki said, as he looked at Shuichi’s eyes.
Shuichi slid his fingers through his lover’s blonde mane and touched his forehead with his,
“I won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“You ask too many questions,” Shuichi complained, “and you haven’t answered mine.” he said while he took off his lover’s polo and watched it tumble on the floor.
Shuichi started nuzzling Yuki’s neck and heard his lover ask,
“What… what was my question again?” Yuki asked, feeling completely delirious.
Shuichi chuckled softly and said,
“I asked you a while ago if you wanted me to leave.”
Yuki held Shuichi’s hips, stroking his bare soft thighs and started kissing him, not sure if it’s because he was starting to get hot and excited all over again, or because he wanted to make an excuse for not answering his lover’s question.
“You are one persistent little man…” Yuki said, not bothering to answer the question anymore.
“That’s because my lover is stubborn… don’t you think we’re a perfect match?” Shuichi added and watched Yuki as he moved his laptop aside and literally placed him on top of his desk.
“Oh yeah.” Yuki drawled out and rolled his eyes heavenward which made Shuichi laugh which was immediately smothered with a long deep kiss

Maybe it was because of the moment that made Shuichi forget about his question. But whether Yuki answered his question or not, may he might have said yes or no, for sure, both of them knew what the real answer was.

And that was all that matters.