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Illusions of Life	By : Despina Category: Gravitation > General Views: 6592 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
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Title: Illusions of Life
Author: Despina
Rating: NC17
Pairings: Eiri x Shu
Feedback: Please review. I love reviews.
Disclaimer: I don�t own Gravitation and make no money off this.
Illusions of Life

Chapter 11
Sometimes

It�s not the way you caress me
Toy with my affection
It�s not my sense of emptiness
You fill with your desire
Climb in bed beside me
We can lock the world outside
Touch me, satisfy me
Want your body next to mine

Sometimes
The truth is harder
Than the pain inside
Sometimes
It�s the broken heart
That decides

I watched with apprehension as my little lover moved towards me on his hands and knees. He had that determined, wild look in his eyes. It was unnerving, especially because I knew what he had on his mind.

�Shuichi,� I started as he leaned in to kiss me, �I don�t think��

�Yessss,� he agreed, �don�t think.� He kissed me, slowly and deliberately, like he was memorizing my lips. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and I didn�t fight him. One battle at a time, I thought as I surrendered to his kiss. We kissed for many minutes and I felt my body heat in reaction to his nakedness and his growing lust.

He sat up and nudged me so that I would roll on to my stomach. I didn�t move. �Come on, Eiri,� he sighed and showed me a bottle of oil. �I�m just going to give you a backrub. Could you try and trust me?�

Trust him. Could I do that? Could I allow myself to totally give up all control? Even in my drug induced state? I�d already had an emotional breakdown in front of him this night. How much more could I let him have?

One battle at a time.

I glared at him but moved to the center of the bed and lay down on my stomach. That stupid handcuff was still locked around my wrist so I looked over my shoulder and shook it at him, �Hey, do you have that key?�

He had the bottle of oil tipped in his hand and shook his head, �Must still be in the hall.�

I watched as he rubbed his hands together with the oil and he leaned forward. He stopped right before he touched me and sat back again. Meeting my stare he said, �Will you fucking relax? I�m not going to do anything� weird. Yet.�

�Hn,� I grunted at him but moved my head back to rest on my uncuffed arm.

His hands ran along my back lightly, as if he was letting me get used to the idea. I exhaled deeply and tried to relax. He let his oiled hands rub into my back muscles, and he was soft and gentle with me. He was doing the same thing with his hands as he had done with his lips earlier. It was as if he was memorizing all of me.

He moved and slid his leg over me so he sat on my lower back. Leaning forward he pressed his hands into me harder as I felt him find the first of the knots. He also nipped and licked at my neck. �It�s hard,� he whispered to me, �to keep my mind on what I�m doing.�

Hard. I felt the familiar throb between my legs begin. Yeah, it was hard.

He sat up again and dug his thumbs into my shoulders, �Hmmm,� I moaned, loving the sweet torture of the pain and pleasure a good massage can bring. I realized suddenly, how very well Shuichi knew me.

�When did you learn this?� I drooled as I asked him, giving in to the pleasure.

�While you were gone. Like I said before, I really felt the need to keep busy. This was just one more thing I picked up�� He leaned into me harder and I groaned in appreciation.

�Shuichi�� I managed to say, my throat threatened to close up again, �I�ve really missed you.�

He reached for the bottle of oil and poured some directly on my back but he didn�t say anything. Moving his hands down, he now worked below my shoulder blades, digging in deep to find the knots there. It was very erotic.

I breathed through his ministrations, moaning occasionally and wondering why he hadn�t said anything in response to my earlier comment. I felt something drop onto my back, �Shuichi?�

I lifted my head and looked over my shoulder. He was crying. I tried to sit up, but he pushed me down, �No, Eiri. Just let me deal with this, right now. Hearing you say that is a little more than I expected. Just let me� process it.�

Sighing, I dropped my head back on my arm and thought about what was going on inside his head while he continued to pamper me. The emotional roller coaster we had been on over the last month had taken its toll on both of us, unhinged both of us to a certain degree. I knew I loved him and I was certain he still loved me, but there was so much other emotional baggage that came with our love. Could we get past that? Is that what he was thinking about?

I felt Shuichi shift his body so that he was now sitting on my thighs as his hands continued following the line of muscles in my back. I continued my occasional incoherent sounds of appreciation. It really did feel amazing and I knew that in a way, he was getting what he wanted from me.

Trust. That was really what this all came down to, wasn�t it?

He moved off of me and to the side. After oiling up his hands again, he started in on my arms, moving them gently from underneath my head so he could work on them. I was completely relaxed, letting him do what he would with me. I closed my eyes and centered my breathing, nearly dozing off completely.

That is, until I realized he had locked my wrists to the headboard with those stupid handcuffs.

�Hey!� I snarled at him. �Just what the fuck do you think you are doing?�

�Shhh,� he kissed my neck and nudged me with his hands. �Roll over; I have to do the other side.�

I glared at him, �Are the handcuffs really necessary?�

He shrugged, �Maybe.�

�You told me you didn�t have the key,� I spat at him, struggling with the handcuffs in vain.

Shrugging again he said, �So?�

I am so punching Touma the next time I see him.

He prodded at me again to turn over and I didn�t really see that I had much of a choice. I rolled carefully onto my back, the handcuffs refused to twist so I ended up with my wrists crossed above my head. I glared at him again, �happy now?�

Shuichi�s eyes sparkled as he looked me up and down, licked his lips and nodded, �oh, yeah. I�m very happy.�

He sat on my hips and consequently, my erection, as he reached for the oil again and dumped a generous amount on my stomach. I moaned and then hissed at him.

�Cold?� he asked, eyes twinkling as he stared at the pool of oil on me.

�A little,� I growled.

He ran his hands through the oil in slow circles and said, �Don�t worry, Eiri. I�ll warm you up.� He leaned into me, massaging pectoral muscles and bringing out those silly, incoherent noises from me again.

I closed my eyes, and let myself relax again, loving his touch.

I felt him lean forward again and he bit my right nipple. Hard. �Fuck,� I shouted at him as my eyes snapped open. �I can�t take my eyes off you for a second.�

He bit me again. Harder. This time I moaned and lifted into it. I couldn�t seem to stop myself. Looking up at me he grinned and said, �You always did have a masochistic streak in you.�

Me? It was him, not me, I argued with myself.

He bit my left nipple and tweaked the right one, fingers slipping with the oil. My eyes rolled back and I groaned. So good�

�Have you thought about getting this pierced?� he asked as he bit at my nipple again. �It hurts. A lot. You�d love it.�

�Ahhh, fuck, Shuichi,� I shouted, pulling on the handcuffs enough to bruise my wrists. I really wanted to touch him.

He moved a little and let his hand travel down to my aching erection, touching it gently. Gentle is not what I wanted and I whined at him. Yes, the Almighty Yuki Eiri whined at him.

�What Eiri?� he taunted, �what is it that you want?�

I didn�t say anything. Fucking little brat. Using my own tricks on me.

He moved suddenly and forced my thighs apart with his knee, spreading my legs and making me so� vulnerable. I closed my eyes again, trying to calm my rising panic.

I felt his hands on my hips, stroking me, soothing me, �Come on, relax, Eiri.� Leaning forward he licked and sucked at my recently abused nipples, helping to calm me.

He shifted again and I felt oil pour over my raging hard on and down between my legs. It was an odd sensation, but not completely undesirable. His hand clamped around my erection and I nearly bucked him off the bed it felt so good.

�Shuichi,� I moaned, tossing my head from side to side.

His other hand moved lower between my legs and his fingers found that little strip of flesh that is ultra-sensitive. I arched against his hand, howling and pulling fiercely at the handcuffs.

�Eiri, you are so hot.� He said breathlessly, �Let me have you. Please.�

I swallowed. This was it. Could I do this?

The tip of his oil covered index finger slipped inside my hole, �Please, Eiri?�

He slid the rest of his finger in and I moaned in response. It wasn�t horrible and it didn�t really hurt. He moved his finger gently inside of me. It was rather strange but I was okay with it. Then he touched my prostate.

My vision blurred and I was trying to shout but I couldn�t. It was as if all the air had been sucked out of me. I was writhing and moaning and begging for�

Wait. Did I just beg?

My eyesight cleared and I saw Shuichi with a satisfied smirk on his face, �I take it that means yes, Eiri.�

Yeah, I had begged. There would be no living with him now.

Before I could say anything else he slid a second finger into me and stretching me gently and slicking the way. I was trying to get my mouth to work so I could tell him to stop but my body had taken control.

It seems that somewhere, deep down inside, where my darkest secrets lie, I wanted this. I wanted him to take control and to have me. At least for the moment. Tomorrow would be different; I was sure, but now...

He was moving his fingers in and out of me and I was thrusting gently in time with him. Watching me, he opened the bottle of oil once again and poured some into his right hand. He grabbed his erection and coated himself, his eyes rolled back briefly with the contact. Fuck, he was so hot.

He raised my knees so he could have better access and asked, �Ready?�

I swallowed again, �As I�ll ever be.�

He leaned over and positioned the tip of his cock with my lubricated hole. He pressed forward and unbelievable pain shot through me. �Shuichi, wait!� I shouted in panic.

�Breathe, Eiri,� he reassured me. �Relax. Ride the pain, it will pass.� He smiled, �I promise.�

Is this what he went through every time?

There was and ebb and flow to the pain as he moved slowly and unfalteringly into me. Finally, he stopped when he was fully seated in me and waited for me to get used to him.

�Fuck, Eiri,� he gasped at me, gripping my hips almost painfully. �You are so tight, it�s like a vise. I don�t know how long I can do this.�

�Never could outlast me,� I said my own breathing ragged and uneven.

�Is that a challenge?� He panted.

All I could do in response was nod.

He began to move, �well, let�s just see about that, shall we?�

The first backstroke nearly had me screaming, but then he slammed into me, aiming for my prostate again. My vision blurred for the second time and I tugged futilely at the handcuffs. He snaked his hand between us and grabbed my neglected cock, stroking me in time with his thrusts.

He slipped his left arm under my knee and leaned forward, giving him better leverage and a better aim. I arched my back in order to meet his thrusts and this time my eyes did not blur but instead saw starbursts.

Shuichi leaned close and said, �I love you, Eiri.�

That was it; those words took me over the edge.

Curiously, my orgasm didn�t start at my toes this time. This time it was every neuron in my body firing at the same time. I managed let out a very undignified scream.

Pulling his come splattered hand from my cock, Shuichi grabbed my hips and wrenched my body sideways as he finished slamming into me. He also screamed, but not nearly as loudly as I had.

A few moments later he rolled off of me and onto his back, rapid breathing slowing.

�Wow,� he said, still panting slightly. �I didn�t think you�d let me do that.�

�I didn�t either,� I grumbled and shook my cuffed hands at him. �Can you unlock these, now?�

�Oh yeah,� he grinned. �Sorry.�

He reached for the key and released me, �Oh, Eiri. Sorry about that.�

My wrists were bruised and actually bleeding in a couple of spots. I shrugged, �I was the one pulling on them.� Fucking Touma.

We laid on the bed in temporary silence while I smoked and he gloated.

Finally, Shuichi got up, stretched and said; �I�m going take a shower. Are you coming?�

Shower. Shuichi. �Fuck, yes,� I said.

I tried to get up but my legs were like jelly. He helped me to stand, �Yeah, it�s a little weird, huh?�

I nodded.

�Let�s go,� I said. �I plan on getting some dignity back in the shower.�

He grinned at me and then kissed me, �I was counting on it.�

He moved for the door but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back to me. �Shuichi,� I touched his cheek and kissed him gently, �I love you.�

He smiled softly at me and said, �I believe you.�

I sighed in relief.

The Test was over. I had passed.

TBC

Lyrics by Erasure (again)
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Illusions of Life