Unchained Memories *complete*

Author: JadeHeart
Fandom: Gravitation
Warnings: none.

Summary: The last days of Nittle Grasper after the New York incident with Kitazawa; Ryuichi’s dark past that changed him forever and the introduction of Kumagoro into his life; and the bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together. (Side story to ‘The Key to My Heart’)

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris, Kerryn Middleton and Brian Turner; the rest belong to the creator of ‘Gravitation’.

-oOo-

Unchained Memories: Chapter 11


“So. How is he?”

Tohma turned at Jim’s softly spoken query, seeing the other man leaning back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, head lowered.

He looked back at the closed door before him as though his vision was able to penetrate to the room beyond.

“Poorly,” he answered honestly. He raised one hand and rested it flat against the door as he continued. “Physically, for all his hurts, the doctor says he will recover in time. Fortunately none of the injuries were so severe as to cause lasting damage. They have been able to stave off the infections that had begun to fester so they are optimistic.”

“But?”

Tohma’s head dropped as he stared at his shoes, the hand on the door suddenly clenching into a fist.

“Physically he will heal,” he said softly. “Mentally….it appears that the trauma has caused some…lasting effects.”

“Permanent?” Jim raised his head and looked across at Tohma.

Tohma nodded, hand still clenched. “So…it would appear.” He looked at the door again, his face wearing a pained expression. “The doctors will continue to run further tests but at present they do not believe things will change any time soon.”

Tohma relaxed his hand and gave the door one last light touch before turning and walking down the corridor. Jim fell into step beside him and they walked in silence through the stillness of the hospital.

This was a very exclusive hospital, very exclusive. It was the kind of place that celebrities came to when they didn’t want their maladies to be aired in public, and it prided itself on not betraying the privacy of its patients. Eventually the media would usually find out about such things but generally, during their stay on the premises, not a word was breathed of their presence within these walls. Tohma had heard of this place certainly but he had never given it more than a passing thought, not thinking that there would ever come a time when he or his would need such a place. So he had been surprised when it had actually been Jim who had suggested it.

When they had first found Ryuichi, Tohma had been desperate to get him medical attention as soon as possible. In the light of day he could see the many injuries beneath the layers of filth and dirt that caked his friend’s naked body. The ambulance was already waiting for them, bundling Ryuichi inside, beginning to monitor his vital signs. It had been Jim who had broken through his fixed concentration on Ryuichi’s condition to ask him where he had wanted to take Ryu.

He had turned to look at Jim, frowning as his mind tumbled with thoughts. “I would have thought a hospital would have been the only logical destination,” he had said sharply, his patience thin from worry.

Jim had ignored his tone, just lit up a cigarette as he responded. “You need to choose a place to tell them,”, indicating with his head towards the bustling paramedics. “And keep in mind what’s going to happen as soon as it’s leaked that Ryuichi’s been admitted.”

Ah, there was that, Tohma suddenly thought. The last thing he wanted was to subject Ryu to more exposure, subjecting him to having his humiliation splashed around for all and sundry to see. No, he wouldn’t do that to Ryu. He forced his mind to focus on the problem, dragging it away from Ryuichi’s state. Yes, some careful consideration needed to be given to this matter.

He examined Jim who was smoking quietly, then a corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile. “I presume then that you have something in mind?” he asked mildly.

Jim quirked an eyebrow at him, then gave a small shrug. “Well, there is one place that I know of,” he said, tapping the ash from his cigarette. It was then that he mentioned the hospital’s name.

Tohma had raised an eyebrow in surprise at the suggestion. “Just how does an ordinary detective know of such a place?” he had queried, curiousity getting the better of him.

Jim just shrugged again. “As a detective I know about these things,” he had explained. “It wouldn’t be the first time that we’ve had to help get someone to that place quietly. But I warn you, it’s damn expensive.”

“That is not an issue,” Tohma had said calmly as he climbed into the back of the waiting ambulance.

“Okay then,” Jim had replied. “I’ll let them know and escort you there.”

Tohma had given a brief nod of thanks as the doors closed and the siren began to sound.


That had been nearly a week ago. Each day Tohma came here. Each day he was told the same thing. Physically Ryuichi was doing well. Soon he would be well enough to leave. Physically at least.

Mentally… there was no change. The head psychiatrist had tried to explain to him what he believed had happened.

“In times of severe stress and trauma the mind does strange things,” the man had said to him. “It searches for survival mechanisms, things that it can use to stay alive. Sensory deprivation, feelings of humiliation, degradation, being made to feel like nothing more than an object and not an actual person, all these things tend to destroy a person’s sense of ‘self’. It’s very difficult for people to rebalance themselves from these times, depending upon the severity of the circumstances.”

The man had shuffled the papers before him before continuing. “That toy became Ryuichi’s focus during this time. By giving the toy its own persona made Ryuichi feel that he was not suffering alone, that he hadn’t been abandoned. By believing that the toy was an actual living being meant it was sharing the difficulties with him, and in his mind halved the impact of the trauma. The only way for him to retain any semblance of his own sense of ‘self’ was to give a part of that ‘self’ to that toy.”

“Will he return to…normal with time?” Tohma had asked.

“I couldn’t say for certain,” the psychiatrist said noncommittally. “But I wouldn’t fix all your hope on that. This may be as good as he will ever get.”

The man stood then and walked to the window, pulling the blinds apart for a moment as he spoke again. “In all honesty, Ryuichi is still much the same as you knew before. He hasn’t lost his memory or forgotten anything. His IQ hasn’t suddenly dropped, nor has he lost any of his abilities or skill.” He turned to face Tohma. “It is simply that that toy is now the prime focal point of his life. Take that away and you will be taking away his grip on sanity. Until he can willingly give it up it would be far better to let him retain it.”

“So you are not too concerned with the way that he…speaks to the toy?” Tohma asked.

The doctor shook his head as he reseated himself, shuffling the papers on his desk again and straightening them back into the file. “No, that is quite to be expected. To Ryuichi that toy is as real to him as any other person. And because he has given it a part of his ‘self’ the answers that he believes he hears from it, or says the toy gives him, is really just himself answering.” The doctor looked up with a small smile. “You could think of it like it is his conscience in a way. Just another part of him.”

“That will take….some getting used to,” Tohma said honestly.

The doctor nodded again. “It will, but your acceptance of it will be very important. You do realize how highly Ryuichi thinks of you, don’t you?”

“We have been friends for some time,” Tohma indicated absently.

“I don’t mean just like that,” the doctor said, leaning forward with his elbows on the desk. “To Ryuicih you are very, very important. It seems that you are the one person in this world that he never wants to disappoint or let down in any way. If you can’t accept him the way he is now would be a severe blow to his state of mind. I firmly believe that it was his belief in you that kept him alive through this ordeal. Can you accept him?”

“Always,” Tohma said evenly, looking the doctor in the eye. “I will always be there for Ryuichi. Whenever he needs me.”

There was a moment of silence and then the doctor spoke again. “Good. That will only help him improve over time.” He closed the file on his desk. “I understand that physically Ryuichi will probably be able to be released in another week or two. Mentally, I have no further reason to keep him here either. He is not a danger to himself or any one else, there is no medication that can be prescribed for his condition, so all I can suggest is to give him time and some peace and quiet to adjust. I think a part of him knows he’s not acting completely…rationally all the time but he can’t change that yet, so he will need some time to adapt to the changes within himself as well. Getting him back into familiar surroundings and with people he’s comfortable with would be the best thing for him. I would suggest avoiding unusual circumstances and crowds for a time though. He’s a little wary of strangers at the moment which is entirely understandable and we don’t want to put him under any more strain.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Tohma said, standing, realizing the discussion was over. “Thank you for all your time and efforts.”

“You’re welcome. It is my job after all,” the doctor said, shaking the proffered hand. “I wish you both the best.”


Tohma looked up at the blue sky, blinking in the bright sunshine.

“So what’s next?” Jim asked, immediately lighting a cigarette now they were out of the hospital buildings and he was no longer restricted in doing so.

Tohma watched the smoke from the cigarette between Jim’s lips curled upwards in the air. “We take Ryuichi home tomorrow,” he replied, beginning to walk towards the car. “After that, we’ll see.”

They both slid into the vehicle and Jim started the engine. “How’s Noriko holding up?” he asked, navigating the traffic as they headed back towards Tohma’s apartment.

“As well as can be expected,” Tohma replied, looking out the window. “She’s gotten over the initial shock and is doing fine. She’ll mother Ryuichi when he get’s home so that will make her feel better.”


Tohma had contacted Noriko immediately he and Ryuichi had arrived at the hospital, letting her know that their friend was now rescued and safe and where to find them. She had arrived only a couple of hours later, having slipped away from the reporters that still haunted her apartment, wearing heavy makeup that changed her appearance rather dramatically, sober clothes which were nothing like her usual attire, and a short wig that changed her into a brunette. It had obviously been successful as there was no mention of her escape from the media’s scrutiny in the papers the next day.

She had flung herself into his arms and he had felt his breath squeezed from his lungs at the strength of the hug. “Is he really all right?” she had queried, sounding breathless. The moistness that fell on his neck told him that she was crying as well.

“He’ll be all right,” he had said, holding her just as tightly. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her all that had been done to Ryuichi. He didn’t feel it was his place to tell her all the sordid details. He would have to leave it up to Ryuichi as to how much Noriko was to be told. Still she deserved to have some information to prepare her for the change in her friend.

He steeled himself and broke the hug but kept his hands on her shoulders, looking her straight in the eyes. “Ryuichi’s been through a great deal,” he said quietly. “He’s been hurt,” and he saw her eyes widen a little at that, “but that will heal.”

He heard the soft sigh of relief from her and was sorry that what he next said was going to break that feeling. “There is one problem though,” He felt her stiffen under his hands. “His….behaviour is not the same,” he said, trying to pick his words carefully.

“What…do you mean?”

“I…don’t know anything more at this stage,” he had said, reaching down and holding her hands. “I just wanted you to be prepared when you saw him.”

He lead her down the corridor and she followed obediently. “Will...he get better?” she had asked in a small voice.

“I don’t know,” he had replied, stopping outside the closed door.

He quietly opened it and beckoned Noriko to follow him.

The room was bright, the curtain pulled back and the blinds open to let the sunlight stream in, chasing away the shadows. Ryuichi was sitting in the bed, still in a stark pale hospital gown which actually accentuated his good looks, his dark wavy hair and black eyes seeming to be the only colour in the room and so naturally drew the eye.

He looked up from playing with Kumagoro, who was placed in his lap, as they entered, a fleeting shadow of what appeared to be fear crossing his face before it was chased away by a bright smile.

“Nori!” he shouted and scrambled to try and escape the confinement of the sheets wrapped around his legs which only served to tangle him further. “Wahhh! It’s got me, Nori! It’s got me!”

Tohma saw the flash of emotions on Noriko’s face at Ryuichi’s behaviour and speech; first the surprise, followed by the shock, then sadness. Still she swiftly schooled her expression to one of calm as she walked forward.

“Really, Ryu,” Noriko said evenly, drawing closer to the bed and reaching out to push him down flat and pulling at the sheets that had wrapped around him tightly. “If you carry on like that you know you’re going to get into trouble.”

Ryuichi lay there, perfectly still, until she pulled the sheets completely free of his body, drawing them fully down to the bottom of the bed and out of the way so there would be no repeat of the problem while Tohma sat in a chair by the window, just watching silently.

“There,” she said with a final brisk pat on the folded sheet. “All done.”

This seemed to be the cue that Ryuichi was waiting for as he sat up and literally threw himself at Noriko, wrapping his arms around her neck in a fierce hug. Tohma could see the pained look on Noriko’s face, the tears shining brightly in her eyes but she hid her face in the crook of Ryuicihi’s neck, wiping her tears on his hair whilst her arms encircled his back and held him just as tightly.

“Welcome back,” she whispered to him.

Tohma heard Ryuichi’s soft response, “Thank you,”, in a voice that was just as he used to be.

Suddenly Ryuichi broke away from Noriko’s embrace, reaching back and snagging the stuffed toy lying on his bed and thrust it out towards her.

“This is for you,” he said hurriedly. “This is Kumagoro. Tohma and me got him for you. Well, actually, it was really me. He’s your present. So here!”

Noriko looked down at the toy that although it had been thoroughly cleaned, still showed signs of the hardships it had recently endured. Washing can’t wipe away all the stains, Tohma thought sadly. No matter how much you scrub.

“Uhm,” Noriko hesitantly reached out and held the toy, obviously trying to find something suitable to say and not certain what that would be. Tohma felt himself half smile. It wasn’t often that Noriko was at a loss for words.

“Ah, thank you, Ryu,” she finally said, automatically straightening the long ears and smoothing the fur down. “That is very….nice of you.”

“Kumagoro is very nice, you know,” Ryuichi was saying, now sitting on the bed, knees drawn up as he hugged them to his chest.

Tohma frowned at this, watching as Ryuichi began to slightly rock in place. This wasn’t a good sign at all but Ryuichi just kept talking to Noriko.

“You see, he helped me,” Ryuichi continued, one hand half reaching out to touch the soft fur but then snatched back before it could. “He’s very positive and really good to talk to.”

Ryuichi now looked up earnestly at Noriko, eyes wide. “You will look after him properly, won’t you? You have to talk to him, and he gets very lonely if he’s left on his own, and he doesn’t like the dark, and he hates being dirty – unless he can be washed straight away, and you have to pet him, and….”

Ryuichi’s words had been getting faster and faster, almost tripping over each other in his desperation to say everything he needed to. Tohma felt his heart clench harder the more he spoke. He knew full well that Ryuichi was speaking about himself and his needs, not the toy’s. His hands clenched into fists as the rage built in him again and he wished once more that the monster that had been responsible for this was in front of him so he could wring the life out of him with his bare hands.

Never again, he vowed to himself, the anger burning fiercely within his soul. Never again will I allow anyone to hurt those I love. Not Eiri, not Mika, not Ryuichi, or Noriko, no-one. Never again. I will have the power to prevent that ever happening again!

Noriko reached out and touched Ryuichi’s cheek lightly, stopping his words immediately. She smiled at him, a smile that quivered but still a smile as she then ran her fingers through his hair, brushing it back from his eyes gently. She looked down at the toy still in her hands and drew it to her chest, hugging it tightly before placing a kiss on the top of the head. Then she held it out to Ryuichi.

“I think you need to look after him, Ryu,” she said quietly. “I’m going to be so busy now. I’m getting married, and I want to start a family, and there’s still all my work, I don’t think I’ll have time to give Kumagoro the attention he deserves. So will you look after him for me? I know he’ll be happy with you and I can visit him whenever I want to, can’t I?”

Ryuichi looked at the toy, then up at Noriko, his eyes searching her face for answers. For a moment he looked like his normal self; bright eyes shrewd and analyzing. He dropped his eyes back to the toy and slowly raised a hand, reaching towards it as though afraid that it would be snatched away from him but Noriko held it steady. Ryuichi’s hand touched the fur and then slowly wrapped around one limb and Tohma could see him squeeze it so tight that his knuckles turned white. Noriko slowly release her hold until Ryuichi held Kumagoro alone. He just as slowly drew the toy close to him, holding it tightly against his face, his eyes fixed on Noriko’s face.

“Thank you,” he whispered as a tear slid from the corner of one eye to fall upon Kumagoro. “Thank you….for understanding.”

Noriko dredged up a smile, although the pain and hurt still shone in her eyes, but she leant forward and waggled a finger in front of Ryuichi’s nose and said, “Just you remember that this doesn’t mean that you’re gonna get away with everything,” she half scolded. “You’ve still got work to do and there’s no slacking off!”

Ryuichi smiled now, a broad smile that stretched across his face as he stuck his tongue out at her. Suddenly he laughed out loud, starling her, as he threw Kumagoro towards the ceiling and caught him again. “We’re going to be sparkly again, Kuma!” he crowed, bouncing on the bed.

Ryuichi looked over at Tohma now, tilting his head to one side to scrutinize his other friend. “I bet Tohma has already got lots of work for us to do.” He let out a loud sigh and pouted. “Tohma’s always a slave driver,” He now whispered to his toy. “But he does do good stuff.” Ryuichi then grinned at Tohma who smiled back in response.

Tohma now stood and brushed his coat down automatically. “Well, I shall leave you two to catch up,” he said, walking towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Noriko asked as she seated herself on the edge of Ryuichi’s bed.

“There are some things we need to think about how to deal with. Now that we’re back together.”

“See, he’s a slave driver,” Ryuichi whispered loudly to Noriko as he hung over her shoulder.

“You’re the beauty and I’m the brains,” Tohma responded calmly as Ryuichi giggled.

“So what does that make me?” Noriko frowned at him. “Chopped liver?”

Tohma opened the door and looked back with a warm smile to his two dearest friends.

“You are the heart,” he said with a wink and closed the door just in time to avoid the pillow thrown at it.

-oOo-

“Well, that seemed to go rather well,” Jim said, reaching up to loosen his tie and undo the top button of his collar. “Ah, finally I can breathe again!”

Tohma smiled at his friend. “I would have thought you would be used to wearing a tie,” he said.

“A tie, yes,” Jim answered. “Not these monkey suits!” indicating the tuxedo he was currently dressed in.

“I think you look divine,” a voice said as Kerryn wriggled in under Jim’s arm.

He smiled down at her. “Well, if that’s all it takes to impress you ladies then I’m saved.”

“Oh, it takes a lot more than that, let me tell you!” she replied archly. “Just you keep that in mind.”

“Somehow I don’t think you’ll ever let me forget,” Jim responded with a laugh.

“Ah, there she is!” Kerryn suddenly said, disengaging herself from Jim. “I’m going to go say congratulations to Noriko.” She pinned Jim with a piercing look. “Don’t you dare move from this spot,” she threatened. “I’ll never find you otherwise in this crowd!” And with that she disappeared into the throng.

“She’s right though,” Jim said, looking after his fiancée. “I never expected there to be so many people here.” He turned to look at Tohma. “I thought you said you were keeping this a small affair because of Ryuichi?”

“This is,” Tohma said, reaching out to lift a glass from the tray that wafted by. Jim already held one in his hand. “Unfortunately we couldn’t cancel it completely, not after Noriko had built it up into such a big event. If she had cancelled that would have just raised even more speculation about why she would do such a thing and they would be bound to find out about Ryuichi then. So she and Tetsuya decided to still go ahead with it but just kept it to some of our immediate business associates.”

“Yeah, I guess that is the only thing you could do,” Jim agreed, looking over the crowd. “But if this is what you call a small affair I would hate to see what it would have been if she had gone all out!” He took another swallow from his glass. “What about your families? How come none of them are here?”

“We’ll have the more traditional wedding back home later,” Tohma explained. “It would have been too difficult to have everyone over here, and Noriko didn’t really want to mix family and business together. She preferred it this way.”

“How…convenient,” Jim mused.

“What do you mean?” Tohma questioned a little absently as he looked over the crowd before them.

“Was that because it would have been too traumatic for your young charge, Eiri wasn’t it, to return to the States? Would it have brought back bad memories?”

Tohma’s glass paused at his lips as he stiffened, then he carefully took the sip he had intended before turning to meet Jim’s gaze with a calm smile. “If Eiri had come so would all the family and Noriko would much rather keep all the family together to celebrate at home. That’s all there is to it.”

“Really.” Their gaze remained locked for a moment longer then Jim turned away. “Well, I guess she’ll have a great time at home seeing everyone again. As I’m sure you will.”

Tohma took another sip although it was more of a large swallow. He had almost forgotten after this long of just how he had first met Jim. Obviously Jim hadn’t though. It looked like no matter what happened that he would have to continue to remain vigilant around this man. He disliked having to do so. After everything that had happened he truly did consider Jim a friend, not just to himself but also to Ryuichi and Noriko, but he had to acknowledge that Jim was also a detective, which meant that he would probably never stop looking for the truth. Tohma sighed internally. This could become very tiresome.

“So how’s Ryu doing?” Jim asked after this moment of silence.

“Better,” Tohma answered. “He was excited about singing today.”

“He sounded great. According to Kerryn, that is,” Jim said. “From where we were sitting he didn’t look any different from before.”

“When he sings he’s just like he used to be,” Tohma continued. “It seems that music makes him feel completely safe so he doesn’t need any sort of escape.”

“Perhaps music itself is his escape?” Jim said shrewdly.

Tohma smiled. “Most likely.”

“So how are you going to explain his sudden change in behaviour? He’s gonna be seen and spoken to outside of when he’s singing and he still carries that damn creepy thing around with him everywhere.”

“It’s not quite that bad,” Tohma indicated mildly.

“Oh yeah?” Jim retorted. “You’re not the one who was almost killed with having that thing land on him.”

“Ryuichi just thought you should become better….acquainted with Kumagoro.”

“I’m a lot happier the further that thing is away from me,” Jim said firmly, downing the last of his drink. “Dealing with that whilst driving in heavy traffic aint my idea of a good time!”

“I’ll remind Ryu of that next time.”

“There better not be a next time!” Jim exclaimed. “I don’t think I’d survive. Either from dealing with what ever accident I ended up in, or having to put up with Ryu bawling after because his precious what-ever-it’s-called has been shredded!”

“That probably wouldn’t be a good idea,” Tohma said with a small smile. “He’s very attached to Kumagoro.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jim grumped. “Which is why I don’t see how you’re gonna be able to cover it up.”

“Oh, we aren’t going to cover it up,” Tohma said evenly. “Surprisingly that is quite easy to deal with.”

“How come?” Jim sounded skeptical.

Tohma grinned at his friend. “We’re musicians,” he said. “We’re supposed to be strange and eccentric. If anything, Ryuichi’s attachment to Kumagoro has added a new dimension to Nittle Grasper and his appeal. The fans seem to find it rather…sweet.”

“Man, fans are just plain weird,” Jim shook his head in bewilderment. “So everything has worked out okay?”

“So it would appear,” Tohma agreed. “At least at this stage.”

“Then, what’s next for you?” Jim asked.

Tohma looked over as a loud shout and burst of laughter drew his attention and he could see Noriko and Ryuichi in the midst of something. Watching their actions he guessed that perhaps Ryu had been near the wedding cake, judging from the smears of cream over Kumagoro who hung from one hand, and Noriko wasn’t impressed by this. She really shouldn’t be using her bridal bouquet to hit him with though, Tohma thought absently, watching the petals fly. Ah, well, at least they were happy as he could see that Noriko was trying to hold back a smile whilst Ryuichi openly laughed as he tried to protect himself from the flowers.

“I really don’t know,” Tohma finally answered Jim’s question. “I think things are going to change from here.”

-oOo-

“So what brings you down here?” Jim said, standing as Tohma entered the office he shared with two other detectives.

“I heard the good news,” Tohma replied, taking the seat Jim motioned to.

“Good news?” Jim paused in the process of putting some papers down, a puzzled expression on his face.

Tohma smiled at him. “The grapevine bears fruit swiftly,” he stated, leaning back.

“Huh? Care to say that in English?”

Tohma chuckled. “I just mean that Kerryn told Noriko who in turn told me.”

“Oh,” Jim grimaced as he sat behind his desk. “I should have guessed it wouldn’t take long.”

“Well, the girls do get along rather well.”

“I suppose. I just didn’t think Kerryn would have talked about this. It’s not exactly what you would call ‘female conversation’ I would have thought.”

“She is understandably proud of you,” Tohma said, still smiling. “I understand it’s quite an achievement to be selected for the FBI.”

Jim shuffled some papers, looking a little embarrassed. “Well, yeah, it’s good news,” he said. “But there’s still a long way to go. I’m basically just going to be a rookie again.”

“I’m sure you’ll do very well, and this is well deserved. Kerryn said it is something you have been working towards for some time.”

“Yeah, it was always where I wanted to be, but it’s pretty tough getting in.” Suddenly a broad smile spread across Jim’s face. “Okay, I’m excited,” he said, sitting back with a bark of laughter. “So sue me!”

“So what’s the next step?” Tohma asked.

“I’ve got another interview to go to and if all goes well we’ll probably look at moving fairly soon.”

“Moving?” Tohma hadn’t realized that Jim would most likely be leaving.

“Yeah, I’ll move to Washington DC for a while. I’ve already talked it over with Kerryn as to what we should do and she’s going to see if she can either get a transfer with the company she’s with at the moment or see if they might be able to recommend some places. As soon as she’s got a job lined up she’ll join me there.” He beamed at Tohma. “This is all turning out just great, you know,” he almost gushed. “My job, my girl, everything is just working out perfect!”

“I’m very pleased for you,” Tohma said sincerely.

“Thanks, man,” Jim replied, then suddenly sat forward and leant his elbows on the desk. “So what about you lot? I haven’t seen you for a few months.”

“You appear to have been rather busy yourself,” Tohma said.

Jim ran a hand through his hair, grimacing in distaste. “You remember that little fiasco at the warehouse when we were looking for Ryu?” he asked.

Tohma nodded. How could he forget anything of that time? It was burned indelibly in his mind, every single painful step as he searched for Ryuichi. “Of course.”

“Yeah, well now we’re dealing with the aftermath. We’ve had to jump through so many damn hoops trying to block their bought lawyers that it’s been damn exhausting. Now we’ve finally pinned them down. The trial date’s been set and locked in and they are out of options and excuses, thank God!” Jim gave a deep sigh. “It’s going to be so good to finally see them behind bars and taken down!”

“Glad to see a man enjoying his job,” Tohma stated.

Jim rolled his eyes at him. “Look, when you’ve done this job as long as I have and seen the scum that get’s off because of some slimy lawyer that’s in the pay of some big boss in organized crime and you just know he did it, you get really pissed off, believe me. So when we finally manage to get one of them, or better yet, a group of them it’s almost enough to bring tears to the eyes.”

“I never would have taken you for such an emotional man,” Tohma said with a smile.

“Hah!” Jim said, sitting back again. “So that’s what I’ve been doing. See, some of us have to actually work so what have you been doing? Enjoying the high life?”

Tohma settled back comfortably. “Hardly,” he said. “We have all been rather busy at this time. We have decided that there are…changes to be made.”

“What sort of changes?” Jim queried. “Anything to do with a little whisper that I had heard about you starting to set up some business?”

Tohma tipped his head to one side in acknowledgement. “You are well informed.”

Jim shrugged. “Not really. Just when your name comes up anywhere I can’t help but take notice.”

“Do you desire me so much?” Tohma said smoothly.

Jim inhaled so suddenly in shock that he began to choke, coughing violently. When he finally had his breathing back under control he glared at Tohma, wiping away the tears that had streaked his face. “I wish you wouldn’t do things like that!” he declared loudly. “I’m not gay!”

Tohma just waved his anger away. “Yes, I know. So you have said numerous times. Anyway, as I was saying, and as you have heard a small bit, Nittle Grasper is making plans for the future.”

“Like what?”

“Noriko wishes to begin a family as soon as possible,”

“That’s a little sudden, isn’t it?” Jim interrupted.

“Not really. She has always wished for such, and her husband is quite a bit older than herself so for him to also be able to enjoy a family it is better for it to be done sooner than later.”

“Hmm, I guess so. So how’s that going to affect your band?”

“Nittle Grasper will continue to exist for a while longer but we are not intending to tour any more. He have enough material to begin another couple of albums which if we add a little more to means we can release one album for the next two years. I am already making plans back in Japan to begin my own production company so I will be spending more time back there from now on.”

“So you’ll be able to spend time with your lady friend also?” Jim asked shrewdly. “Isn’t it about time you made an honest woman of her?”

“Look who’s talking,” Tohma countered smoothly. “When are you actually planning to set a date to marry Kerryn, or do you intend to keep her waiting forever?”

“Ouch!” Jim said, one hand clutching his chest as though in pain, then he laughed. “Fair enough, but we are fully intending to get that sorted out as soon as possible, but it’s going to have to wait until we move now.”

“Kerryn must have a bottomless well of patience,” Tohma said.

“So must your Mika,” Jim stated.

“Yes indeed,” Tohma agreed thinking of his lovely partner. He ached to finally be able to claim her as his own, to know that she was his and his alone. Soon though, he could do that soon.

“So that takes care of Noriko and you, but what about Ryuichi?” Jim asked quietly.

“Ryu still wants to keep singing,” Tohma explained. “His musical direction is not fully conducive to Nittle Grasper’s image so it is rather perfect to establish himself as a solo artist.”

Jim frowned. “Is that wise? Letting him go off on his own?”

“I understand what you are saying,” Tohma began. “But he truly is okay. He’s perfectly able to take care of himself. It’s not like he is going to burn his apartment down, or run out in the traffic. He truly is capable of looking after himself. However,” Tohma paused for a moment.

“However?” Jim queried.

“I have begun making enquiries to find a suitable manager for him. It needs to be someone who not only has exceptional skills as a manager for such an artist as Ryuichi Sakuma musically, but also someone who is able to understand and adapt to Ryu’s…unique personality now.”

“That’s a pretty tall order to fill,” Jim said.

“True,” Tohma agreed. “Even more so with the additional….criteria I am seeking in their abilities.”

“Which is?”

“Let’s just say that I want them to be fully able to handle themselves in a…difficult situation. And keep Ryuichi safe at all times.”

Jim looked at Tohma steadily. “Sounds like you want a bodyguard,” he finally said.

Tohma shrugged a little. “In a way. That aspect is as important as their ability to manage the musical arena.”

Jim ran a hand through his hair again. “Good luck on finding someone,” he said, then chuckled. “Though I don’t know where you’ll find anyone to meet that bill. They’d have to be fucking nuts to take on the job!”

Tohma smiled. “Well, I do believe that there is always someone for any task, you just have to find the right madman!”

“Too true,” Jim began and then was interrupted by the jangle of the phone. “Just a sec,” he said as he picked up the receiver.

Tohma absently tapped a finger on his kneed, not expecting Jim to be long but he stiffened when almost immediately he saw a myriad of expressions cross the other man’s face. First surprise, then blatant disbelief, then shock, followed by fear. Stark, terrifying fear. The sort of fear that made the eyes widen, the pupils dilate, sweat break out on the brow and the hands shake with reaction. Tohma knew that fear; he remembered it all too well. What now concerned him was why was Jim experiencing it also.

Tohma remained silent as Jim just sat there, speaking in nothing more than monosyllables and then slowly his hand lowered, the phone still grasped in it. He didn’t hang it up and even from where he sat Tohma could hear the sound of a disconnected line.

“Jim?” he softly queried, not wishing to startle the man but trying to break through the glazed look that clouded the normally bright eyes.

When no answer came he tried again. “Jim, what is it?”

This time he saw Jim blink, once, then twice and his eyes now focused on Tohma sitting opposite.

“They’ve,” he whispered, his voice cracking, “got…her.”

Tohma sat there in silence as he tried to understand what Jim was saying.

“Who?” he asked, trying to prompt the man.

“Kerryn,” Jim answered. Tohma could hear the disbelief, the need for it not to be true. “They’ve… got her.”