How to leave the closet

“This is quite a step for me.”



“I know, for me too.”



“I almost feel overwhelmed.”



“Uh, maybe.. Yeah, kinda feel that way. Kinda. Yeah.”



“My heart’s beating faster. I… I don’t feel well.”



“Wow, calm down – ya need a drink to relax?”



“Excellent idea! Let’s hit the city!”



“Let’s just tour your flat first, Arthur…”



“Oh, where’s the key, where’s the key… This could take a while, Alfred, I really-“



“Arthur.” Alfred raised his brows as he sent Arthur a puzzled look. “Are you just trying to keep me out of your place?” Arthur shook his head. “Then why are you sheltering the door?” Arthur looked down. He was standing with his back flat up against the door, roaming through his empty pockets for the key that he knew was in his wallet.



‘This is silly, Arthur. He’ll have to see how you live at some point. It’s just – he’s got all the fancy stuff! His place compared with mine… It’s ridiculous! I’m going to look like a maniac. But, then again – I can’t keep up this acting.’



“O-oh, here it is,” Arthur stuttered, trying to look surprised as the key fell from his wallet. He picked it up with a shy smile and unlocked the door, took in a deep breath and finally opened it. “Just… feel as if you’re at home.”



“Holy-!” As the door creaked open, rainbows and unicorns welcomed him sparkling from the other side. Alfred’s eyes first fell upon a huge multi-coloured unicorn statue grinning at him, then the picture above it of two horses running around in water, then the hangers formed like ponies and then- … “- crap,” Alfred finished his sentence, taking a daring step in. The unicorns were everywhere he looked; hell, as he hanged his coat, he noticed there even was a jacket with glittering horses on. “Your flat is so gay!”



“It’s not!” Arthur said stunned and closed the door behind. He sent Alfred a horrified glare. “Men can have unicorns without being gay!”



“But – you are gay?”



“…Still!” Arthur took off his coat and shoes, turning his back to Alfred, but the other noticed his reddened face in the (sparkling-super-gay-unicorn) mirror, and couldn’t help but smile kindly.



“It’s quite cool,” he tried to cheer the other up, “I mean, you’re really into unicorns, aren’t you?” He kicked off his shoes, going for the living room. Which was also filled to the brim. He felt like laughing really, really loud, and to be honest he was fighting the tears in his eyes, but he managed to play it cool, and he sent Arthur a big grin over his shoulder. “You’re quite a guy!”



Arthur seemed to hesitate. Did Alfred really mean that? “…You like the place?” he asked while carefully keeping an eye on every movement in the other’s face. The lad nodded.



“I do.”



“I think you’re lying.”



“I am not!”



“…Fine, I’ll believe you. For now.” He still looked suspicious. Alfred had to look away in order not to snicker.



‘This place is such a gay-mess! No one has ever questioned his sexuality after seeing this flat? Everything’s so… Homo!’



“Want something to drink?” Alfred looked down to find Arthur staring at him. He shrugged his shoulders. “Tea?”



“Coffee, rather.” Arthur looked disgusted for a second, but he rolled his eyes and went to the kitchen anyway.



“I only have instant.”



“That’s fine with me.” Alfred followed the other with his eyes, making sure he was out of sight before he clasped a hand over his mouth, quieting his laughter to a series of groans. He slowly started to stroll around the room, taking in the sight of everything, but he had to close his eyes now and then, it all being too much for him to handle. His stomach was hurting from keeping down the laughter, and as Arthur returned with a cup featuring two apparently male-unicorns sleeping side by side, he just couldn’t hold it in anymore.



“Oh no, Arthur!” he yelled, and then he broke down in laughter. Arthur stared at him with a burning face and a shaking arm as the other was pointing at his cup, tears dripping down his cheeks, his whole face one big grin as he yelled: “Arthur, Arthur, you’re killing me!”



“No, but I will in a second!” Arthur roared with shy bitterness, banging down the cup onto the table to look intimidating, but Alfred had gotten to the ‘my-knees-are-so-weak-I-can’t-stand’-stage, and was kneeling on the floor, awkwardly gasping in air between his snickering.



“S-sorry… But… You…”



“Oh, cut it out!”



“In what, unicorn-skin?”



“How dare you-“ Arthur went to haul up Alfred, but the younger was quicker and grabbed him by the shirt, dragging him down with him. They rolled around the floor in a struggle that could hardly be called a real fight, and Alfred quickly had Arthur pinned to the ground, his own grinning face stuck up close to the other’s flustered.



“Gawd, you’re such a fag.”



“I’m not the one with photos of naked men on my walls.”



“Yet.” Arthur snorted humorously and shook his head. Alfred pushed himself up from the ground, offering Arthur a hand that he accepted. “Heeh, sorry, but really.”



“I know, I know.” Arthur got up, fixing his messed hair with a little smirk, though he couldn’t get himself to look at Alfred, “I haven’t met someone who didn’t laugh.”



“It’s not the unicorn, it’s more like… the shock.” Alfred raised his brows, “I mean, I expected something really boring and clean, but then I get this.” He looked around, chuckling a little again and dried his cheeks off in the shirt. Arthur grabbed his arm to prevent him from doing it.



“Watch out – remember the price of that thing.”



“Oh, right… You have a shirt I can borrow, then? Just to look more informal.” Arthur looked ponderingly.



“Maybe. I’m not sure it’ll fit… Wait a second.” He went out of the living room. Alfred buttoned up his shirt, leaving it at the table as he took a seat in one of the chairs. He grabbed the cup of coffee and took a sip, enjoying gazing at the details of the small figures on the shelves as Arthur came back in with a grey t-shirt in his hands.



“I found this that – what the hell are you doing?!” Alfred sent him a surprised look.



“Uh… drinking coffee?” Arthur threw the shirt at him.



“Get up, get up!” Alfred stumbled out of the chair, holding onto the shirt as if it was a lifeline, eyes wide open.



“Wh-what did I do wrong?”



“The chair!” Arthur said it as if it was obvious. He patted at the back of the chair, pouting. “This is Mr. Green’s chair.”



“Mr. Green?”



“My ghost.” Alfred looked dumbfounded.



“You believe in ghosts?”



“What? You don’t?”



“Uhh… of course not?”



“You’ve never seen a ghost?” Now it was Arthur who looked taken aback. Alfred shook his head, making the Englishman looking rather concerned. “That’s weird… But then again, I don’t sense a strong spiritual energy coming from you.” He scratched his chin wonderingly while Alfred slowly put on the shirt.



“Yeah-uh… You know ghosts aren’t real, right?”



“Of course they are, don’t be silly.” Arthur sat down in the sofa, patting at the free spot next to him. Alfred assumed that meant it was safe to sit there and did so, while Arthur continued his explanation: “Not everyone can sense ghosts, but they’re there. Spiritual energy, that’s what it takes to be able to see them. Everyone can develop such, but you have to want to do so.” He sent Alfred a pair of serious eyes. The American grinned.



“Not for me, I guess. I’m more into what I can see without trying.”



“Like what?”



“I don’t know. I mean, you have to be able to see it and have scientific evidence before I’ll believe in it. Like, aliens you know are real-“



“Aliens! Ha!” Arthur let go of an ironic laughter, “aliens don’t exist!” Alfred snorted.



“They do! There are several pictures of them.”



“Photoshopped pictures, Alfred.”



“Nu-uh! Real ones! And eyewitnesses!”



“But I am an eyewitness to several ghosts, but you don’t believe me?”



“No, for ghosts are a whole other story.”



“Wanker.”



“Faggot.” Arthur stuck his tongue out at him. Alfred imitated him. They started making faces at each other, acting like children ‘till their cheeks hurt. Alfred snickered. “This is the silliest date ever.”



“Sorry about that.”



“Nah, it’s cool.” Alfred grabbed Arthur’s chin and turned his head, before he leaned in and kissed him. Arthur smirked against his lips, mumbling:



“No, it’s wet and it tastes of coffee.” He glided a thumb across his lips to take off the worst taste of his most hated beverage. Then he slipped an arm around Alfred’s shoulders, pressed his nose to his and nuzzled them together. Alfred took a hold of his waist, as Arthur slowly crawled to sit half in his lap, half on the sofa.



“I have something else that’s wet-“



“Uh, I don’t want to know about that.” Arthur kissed him, whether it was to shut him up or because he wanted to, that Alfred wasn’t sure about, but he liked where things were going and returned the kiss with a pleased grin.



Arthur was quite a kisser for one that had never been with a man. He was obviously used to leading and wasn’t backing down like most of the men Alfred kissed. Instead he fought for dominance, and Alfred found it a pleasant change. He tried to force his mouth open with his tongue, but instead found his own invaded by Arthur. The wet tongue plunged in between his lips and roamed his mouth, and Alfred allowed him to, leaning back into the sofa, bringing Arthur with him. Arthur’s free hand was feeling up his body, clearly exploring, and it made him want to try it out for himself. So he slipped a hand in underneath Arthur’s shirt and up over his stomach. He could feel how he tensed up at the touch, so he moaned slightly as to calm him down, telling him that there was nothing to be embarrassed about as he was into it himself.



Arthur straightened up in his back, looking down at Alfred’s hand. “What?”



“Just keeping an eye on you.” Alfred licked his lips and slightly massaged his skin, then brushed his fingertips lightly across his left nipple. “Ah – not there.”



“Your eyes tell me otherwise,” Alfred winked at him and smirked. Arthur bit down onto his lower lip and rolled his eyes.



“I’m not really… Uhm, first dates are-“



“I know, supposed to be sexless for you, right?” Arthur nodded shyly. “It’s cool, I’m just checking you out.” He closed his fingers around his nipple and twisted it a little. Arthur narrowed his eyes and bended a little forward.



“Stop that.”



“Naw, you like it.” Arthur slipped a hand up underneath Alfred’s shirt and took a hold of his nipple, twisting it likewise.



“Do you like such?”



“Okay, okay, then what do you like?” Alfred asked, letting go of him and sending him a questioning look. Arthur hesitated. No one had asked him such a question before. He’d asked it himself once when with his wife, but she had never tried to make him feel good. So suddenly being asked…



“I-I guess… Uhm…” Arthur was looking right into Alfred’s blue eyes, very focused on him. He felt embarrassed. What kind of answer did he expect? The bloke smiled.



“Just tell me what you like.”



“Soft… Uhm, soft kisses, I guess…”



“Like slow lovemaking?” Arthur blushed up.



“If that’s what you call it.”



“So no twisting? No biting?”



“N-nothing hurtful, at least…”



“How about this-“ Alfred leaned forward and caught Arthur’s nipple between his lips. Arthur grabbed him by the hair to pull him back – you’ll droll on my shirt! – but he stopped himself, fingers in hair, as Alfred’s tongue started to massage him. His other hand went up to tease his other nipple, and as he also started to use his teeth to graze over his flesh, he couldn’t find the will to stop him. It felt good.



‘So this is what they call an erotic experience. I can’t believe it. In my own flat, with a younger guy… And – is he getting an erection?’



True. Sitting in his lap, Arthur could clearly feel how a bulge had started poking his butt. He massaged the back of Alfred’s neck, keeping his eyes on him as he slowly started rocking back and forth across it. Alfred leaned back, gazing up at Arthur. Then he smiled.



“Your body is sexy,” he mumbled and winked at him. Arthur chuckled.



“I’m still not taking off the pants for you.”



“What about a jerk-off then?” Arthur pushed himself down from his lap to sit beside Alfred, shyly hiding his now wetted shirt behind an arm.



“Alfred, I really want to, I just wanted to learn to know you better before we… You know…”



“But we’ve already jerked each other off once before?”



“I know, I’m not being rational, I, uhm…” Arthur couldn’t find the right words. Oh, how he wanted to just throw himself at the other and go mad, just shag the night away at the sofa, Mr. Green watching or not, he couldn’t care.



But he feared what would happen. Alfred didn’t know him that well. What if they fucked, and Alfred then figured he wasn’t worth spending more time on? It might be the thought of a girl, but he couldn’t help it – he had started to like the silly lad, but he wouldn’t like just ending it with a single date.



Alfred saw his concerns; luckily he was no stupid bastard like his dad. “Okay, okay, I can handle it myself, if it really worries you that much,” Alfred sighed and leaned back into the sofa, trying to ignore the pressure that had built up. “But you really have to stop thinking of me as some sex-maniac. Surely I’ve been around, but I have a heart, y’know.” Arthur looked down.



“I know…” They went quiet for a few seconds. Alfred excused himself and went to the bathroom. Arthur was left to feel horrible.



‘He’s right – I’m acting like he’s a sick bloke. I can’t do that. I have to try being open-minded about him as he’s about me. I have to do something that’s Alfred. Yes. That is. I’ll make it up to him that way.’



Arthur got up from the sofa, and the minute Alfred walked back into the living room, he said:



“Let’s go to a gay-bar.”