Roomates and locked doors

“So what's the deal with Green and Red, anyway?”

Lyra glanced up from the pan she was stirring, her eyebrows disappearing behind her hat at the question.

“What do you mean?”

Cheren took a bite out of another carrot, then leaned his elbows on the kitchen island. “I mean their relationship. You live with Red, so I'm guessing you see more than I do. I just see what Green lets us see, which includes him being over here more nights than he's at the house he's paying for.”

She shrugged. “What's to know? They're together, along with Leaf. It's been that way forever.”

It was Cheren's turn to raise his brow, and he took the time to finish his carrot before finally responding again. “So that's official, and not just some sort of friendship?”

“It's definitely some sort of friendship,” she answered, plopping the lid on her pan and turning to face him. “But they're together. I thought that much was obvious.”

“Well...” he thought about that for another few seconds, pushing up his glasses. “Frankly, it's not. It seems that way, I'll admit, but a relationship like that isn't something most people would just assume.”

“You mean that there's three of them all together?”

“That, too.”

She blinked, then “Ohhh”'d in understanding. “You mean that most people wouldn't think the champion or a gym leader are bisexual.”

“That's probably not the word I would have picked for it, but...” He frowned, and, deciding the matter merited more consideration, took another carrot from the tray on the counter. “But I guess that makes sense, with Leaf involved too... Though her involvement seems... Peripheral.”

“Just because she doesn't come over there often doesn't mean she's not involved. She's just not as in the public eye. But you're right, it's really not fair to call either of them bisexual.”

The sound of boards creaking haltingly caught their attention and both glanced out of the kitchen to where Ethan was frozen mid-step. “...I have the feeling I just walked in on some weird shit,” he muttered, holding his hands up. “So you guys just pretend I'm not here, and I'll get my soda and leave.”

“Fine,” Cheren tutted, waving absently at him. “What would you call them, then, Lyra?”

“Well, I'm pretty sure Green's just plain gay.”

Ethan made a small choking noise somewhere behind her, and Lyra sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Even though he's with Leaf, too?”

“Well, Red's more of... the middle of the situation,” she said, wiggling her hand a little. “It's hard to explain.” At least, it was without revealing why she knew all of these things. “They're all together, for sure, but I think Leaf is... kind of an exception for Green.”

“If that's true then why the hell do he and May start maccing every time they get wasted?” Apparently Ethan wasn't as far out of the conversation as he claimed, and was now trying to butt in while he chugged his soda, the fridge door still wide open.

“People don't have to make sense when they're drunk,” Lyra offered, but Ethan was already cutting in with his own explanation.

“Unless they've got like, some sort of gay magnetism or something. Because I'm pretty sure that's what's up with her and Brendan anyway. Or is she just that much of a guy?” By now he'd closed the fridge and set his soda down, and was making what was most certainly not the real sign language for either magnets or making out, but was getting both points across fairly well.

“I don't think it's like that, honestly. Sorry,” Lyra said, trying not to laugh. If she laughed, it would just encourage him. “It's just that he's definitely attracted to guys, so I think Leaf is some sort of an exception for him.”

“And what about Red?” Cheren asked, also doing his best to ignore their raucous eavesdropper.

“I think Green's the exception for him. He uh... definitely seems to like girls,” she said, turning back to the stove to check up on her cooking. No need for the others to see her blush.

“Red's just that awesome,” Ethan grinned, setting his now-empty can on the floor.

Cheren was busy enough cringing at what Ethan was about to do, and being glad the floor here was tile, not linoleum, that he took a moment to process the sheer oddity of what the younger boy had just said. “...Wait, you're okay with Red being with a guy?” Normally Ethan was the first one to voice loud opinions about anyone else being remotely gay – true or not – and they were seldom positive ones.

“Yeah, well, mostly. I mean, it's a little weird, but Red's just that awesome. He's got two bitches.” He held up his fingers to prove he could count that high, then clapped his hands and leaped exaggeratedly high in the air, landing on one foot on top of the can and crunching it down.

Lyra cringed, first at the idea of that classification and then harder at the loudness of Ethan's stomping.

“And one of them's a fucking gym leader!” he added, scooping his foot under the can and kicking it into the air expertly. “It just proves that Red's like, the top of all manliness.”

“That's... an interesting choice of words,” Lyra chuckled nervously. She knew she shouldn't share what she was bout to share, but the temptation to crush the boy's nonsensical ranting was just too high. It had been a hobby of hers ever since she'd been old enough to think of trying to make him cry, instead of crying herself when his ego-streaks got insulting. “Considering he doesn't top very often.”

Cheren was the one making choking noises now, his hand over his mouth as he tried his best to hide the silent laughter he'd erupted into. There was nothing dignified about nearly spraying Sprite out your nose, but he was trying. Ethan, on the other hand, had frozen mid-step a couple steps after Lyra's statement, and she could see his shoulders slump as the weight of her statement sat onto them.

“You shouldn't joke about things like that,” he shot suddenly, shoving the can into the recycle bin in a hurry. “Jokes like that and gossips like you guys are how tabloids and shit get started. Shit's not funny.”

“I don't think she's joking,” their older friend said once he'd cleared his throat again, though for the moment he decided not to chance eating anything else until the squabble was done. “She did say that Red was 'in the middle' of things.”

Ethan's face contorted into a painful looking expression of disgust. “You're gonna have to help me out here then, because I think you're saying something that just doesn't make sense.”

“I'm saying... Green's the one pitching.”

“Not fucking funny, Lyra.”

“Not fucking kidding, Ethan.”

“There's no way in hell Red would do that. Quit trying to freak me out.” Ethan took a couple quick steps back and forth, then rushed over to the fridge, grabbing another soda. “I'm gonna go train, if you're just gonna make up bullshit like that.”

Cheren coughed softly and looked up at the two younger kids. “As Green's roommate, who has had the misfortune of returning home too early on occasion, I must cut in... To verify. I don't know about standard procedure, but the position I saw them in left no room for misinterpretation.”

Lyra was suddenly worried she'd have to catch Ethan, as he stumbled like he was going to pass out. “Ethan?”

“...You... you shut up. Both of you. You're both fucking liars. You're doing this to me on purpose. Shit's not funny. Red ain't gay.” He slammed his soda can down on the counter so hard that Lyra stepped back a few paces, just in case he decided to open it.

“Why's it such a big deal, Ethan? You were fine with Green being gay just a minute ago.”

“Yeah, but I beat Green. That alone proves he's a pussy, no matter how awesome he is. But Red's the most awesome... he... I mean he's the fucking Champion!”

“Wallace was the Champion in his region for a while,” Lyra offered.

“Cynthia, too,” Cheren added quietly, covering his nose with another push of his glasses. “Still is.”

“Yeah but they aren't Red!”

Lyra sighed, lifting her pan off the stove and turning off the burner. “...I can't believe you're this worked up over Red being on bottom.” She was more than done with the conversation, especially in case Ethan asked how she knew, anyway. “I don't see how it changes anything.”

“Of COURSE it changes anything! It changes everything! Red's the best, the coolest, he's the man, and men don't- don't- don't-” he took a deep breath, slamming the can down again as he finally got the words to come out, “don't take it up the ass!”

He looked at both his friends, who were pretending to look elsewhere while they figured out whether to laugh or to worry about Ethan's homophobic outburst, then, satisfied he'd had the last word, he stormed out of the room, muttering to himself the whole way.

“And you!” he shouted suddenly, spinning around and pointing at Cheren. “Get the fuck out of my house. Quit corrupting my friends!”

As he hurried off, Lyra calmly put together plates for herself, her guest, and the others they were still waiting for, leaving the rest aside.

“So how do you know all these things?” Cheren asked as she sat beside him, and her eyes shot open wide, her face turning pink once more. “Just because you share a wall with him or something?”

“Y-yeah,” she stammered, pulling her stool in and staring at her food. “...And Leaf's a big sharer when she's tipsy,” she offered.

“Really? I'll have to see this, some time,” he considered, stroking his chin.

“Sure, you do that,” she chirped, then, before he could continue the discussion, “Itadakimasu!” And she dug in quite happily, hoping Ethan would forget about his soda being shaken before he managed to open it.