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仁義	By : Kimmimaru Category: Gravitation > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1234 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, the characters or settings and of course i make no money from writing this.

Chapter List
- 10
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Chapter 11: Kudake chitta inosensu (Shattered innocence)

Shuichi sang with his eyes closed, his mind consumed by the face of his ex-love. The music flooded his soul, consuming him and he released all the emotion he stored inside him into his lyrics.

He was recording this for Bad Luck's new album. He stood in the booth, unable to see his band mates due to the fact that he still kept his eyes firmly closed. His ears were filled with Hiro's soft guitar rifts, gentle and soothing, the music fit together perfectly and it caused agony to rip through his already shattered heart.

As the music faded he slowly opened his eyes. He saw everyone staring at him, Hiro's eyes were filled with a mixture of emotions; sympathy, anger and pain. Shuichi sighed and stepped out of the booth after he removed the headphones. "So...How was it?" He asked in an empty voice.

K nodded. "It was good...probably your best song yet, even if it is a bit different from what your fans are used to."

Shuichi shrugged. "Well, change will be good." He grabbed a bottle of water from the desk and slumped into a chair. His hair hung into his face, everyone could see his roots, as he hadn't bothered to get it touched up recently. "I think we all need a change..."

Hiro watched his friend with worry in his eyes. Ever since that night, two months ago now, Shuichi had been acting oddly. He threw himself into his work, allowing nothing to distract him. He spent much of his time drinking much more heavily than usual and his eyes never sparkled anymore. Hiro hated Yuki for what he did, he had been stood right outside the door and heard every word of it. Shuichi blamed himself for Yuki's complete dismissal of him and he was now like a different person. Shuichi had long since moved out of Yuki's home and Hiro had insisted they live together, the singer had declined at first until he realised Hiro wasn't going to give up. Every time Hiro saw that dead look in Shuichi's eyes flames of utter fury swept through him and he felt like hunting Yuki down and using the gun he still had in his apartment to blow his brains out, he'd already killed for his friend, what was one more person? The only thing stopping him from this destructive course was the thought of what Shuichi would do without him. Seguchi would obviously get revenge and make Hiro disappear in some horrible way, and he couldn't bear the thought that Shuichi would be left alone.

With a heavy sigh he lifted his legs and let them fall onto the table before him, he picked up his guitar and began idly running his fingers across the strings. He had a cigarette dangling from his mouth and Shuichi hummed quietly in the background for a while.

Suguru watched his lead singer with a wary expression, his connection to Seguchi had put rather a lot of pressure on Shuichi. The tension between them was more pronounced than ever but there was nothing he could do, he had tried to speak to the older boy about it but Shuichi had dismissed him with an empty smile. He had also noticed that Shuichi was steadily getting thinner as if he wasn't eating, yet he couldn't see how Hiro would neglect to feed his friend even if he had to force it down him. He assumed it was due to stress and a broken heart.

K felt at odds with himself, his loyalty's were divided, he knew if he wasn't careful things would blow up in his face and he would be in a worse situation than he had been when working for the Sicilian Mafia back in America...he shoved that memory away roughly, thoughts like that would only destroy him faster than a bullet to the back of the head. He gritted his teeth as he glared down at the computer screen, his fingers idly touched the butt of his gun. It was his favourite, given to him by an old friend. He could still clearly picture her face, even now, so many years and battles later. Her eyes had been the darkest blue, similar to Ryuichi's. Her hair had been a silken sheet of yellow-blond, her smile haunted him to this day. He felt the familiar faint pain as he remembered her screams, her tears and worst of all her fear as he had pressed the gun to her head. He lowered his face so his own blond hair covered his eyes.

"You wouldn't! Claude! I-I Love you! I've always loved you...please, don't do this!" Even now he could hear the gorgeous French nuances in her accent, her eyes had been filled with terror and her tears had torn him apart until there was nothing left.

"You know I wouldn't if I had a choice!" His own voice echoed in the caverns of his mind and he almost shuddered, he had been cold that night on the Brooklyn Bridge. He had her trapped against the edge, her hands gripped the railings behind her and her eyes kept streaming with tears. "Belle...I'm...sorry..."

"Claude!" She had begged, desperation making his heart seize up until breathing was nearly impossible. He had had no idea that she had been a mole, he had not even considered the possibility that she worked for the police...so when his Boss had told him otherwise, the sense of betrayal was almost too much. He had been ordered to 'Dispatch her' and he had followed his orders like a good dog.

The gun shot echoed in his head and he almost winced. He was snapped out of his memories by a voice at the door.

"K?"

He turned and blinked stupidly at the visitor. "Oh...sorry, Ryuichi..." He said slowly. The singer's eyes went dark and he narrowed them slightly. K understood the meaning and sighed. "I'll be right there." He said and Ryuichi grinned, all traces of his serious side evaporating.

"Ok. I'll look after Shu-chan while you're away!" He said gleefully and skipped over to the depressed singer. Shuichi didn't even look up, his head was low so his face was hidden. A dark frown crossed Ryuichi's face and Hiro felt a shiver down his spine before the expression disappeared again and Ryuichi smiled. He leaned down and swept the fading pink hair from the singers face, Shuichi lifted his head blinked up at his idol. Ryuichi clutched his pink bunny under one arm and he dislodged the toy before shoving it roughly at Shuichi who took it in surprise. "Kumagoro doesn't like to see Shuichi upset!" He told the younger singer sternly. "He told me he was going to cheer you up! Come on...let's go shopping!" He grabbed Shuichi's hand and dragged him up.

Shuichi allowed himself to be dragged away, he really wasn't in any mood for anything other than sleep and working on his music. However, Ryuichi's grip was strong and he didn't have the energy to resist. He didn't have the energy for much these days, even when Hiro tried to get him out of the flat he refused and just curled up on the sofa.

Ryuichi was on a mission to cheer the young singer up, he despised what had happened and he knew he was defying Tohma by doing this but he figured the loss of a finger was worth it if he could make Shuichi smile. He grabbed the nearest taxi and dragged Shuichi inside, the boy sat there, his eyes dark and despondent as Ryuichi ordered the taxi to take them to the nearest shopping centre.

When they arrived Shuichi climbed out after having a hat and sunglasses shoved onto him by Ryuichi. The older singer had a bandanna that kept his hair from his face, his own sunglasses covered half his face and his leather jacket slipped from his shoulders revealing a black tank top beneath it. He was in dark jeans and black converse, he stared up at the shopping centre and turned to Shuichi, he slipped his arm through the boys and pulled him almost roughly into the crowds of people.

Tohma sat behind his desk, his cup of tea steaming from where it sat on the surface of the desk. Across from him sat Yuki, he was nursing his own tea between shaking hands. His hair was in his eyes and it looked as if he hadn't bothered brushing it for a while, he wore a crumpled shirt and tatty jeans, far from his usual smart image. Tohma took a breath to speak but Yuki looked up at him, those amber eyes filled with grief. "Why did I do it?" he asked in a shaky voice.

Tohma sighed and began drumming his fingers on the desk top. "Because you wanted to protect the boy." He said softly.

"I-I did..." Yuki agreed and lowered his head again.

Tohma felt sympathy stir within him and he closed his eyes. "It was for the best, Eiri-kun." He said gently, he stood and stepped around his desk. Yuki didn't even look up as he sat on the sofa beside him, he put a hand on his shoulder. "You know he would become your weakness if you had remained together...Eiri..." He sighed and gently brushed hair from the distraught author's eyes. Yuki didn't even try and push him away, which showed just how upset he really was. "Trust me, I will keep him safe...I promised you I would and I do not go back on my word."

Finally Yuki looked into those faded blue eyes. His face crumpled and it looked as if he would cry but he recovered and covered the momentary lapse with a mask. "I don't want him hurt..."

"I know." Tohma muttered and pulled the boy into an embrace, Yuki stiffened but made no move to push him away. The presidents eyes closed and he allowed himself to be filled with Yuki's scent, a mixture of faded cologne and Vanilla, he could even still smell the strong scent of incense from his recent visit to his family. He sighed heavily, the scent was too much and pulled away. Yuki missed the look of utter longing in his brother in laws eyes as he pulled away, he missed the pain that flashed through their icy blue depths every time he was around the president. "How long are you back for?" He asked, rapidly changing the subject.

Yuki shrugged and sipped his tea. "Dunno...A while."

Tohma nodded. "Then if you need company, feel free to phone me whenever you want to...I will always be there for you."

"I know." Yuki kept his voice in a low monotone, he was too grief ridden to care if he insulted the president, even though that feat was nigh on impossible for him, Tohma would forgive him just about any transgression. He knew why...who didn't? The man still felt guilty for the Kitazawa incident, it annoyed the writer slightly that Tohma blamed himself for that but he couldn't dredge up the will to care at the moment.

Shuichi sat in the swivel chair while Ryuichi bounced happily at his side. A woman ran fingers through his hair as he watched her in a mirror. He was in a hairdressers after being taken around so many clothes shops he felt slightly dizzy, however, it did seem to be having an effect on him, because he was no longer thinking about Yuki so much. "What is it you want me to do, Ryu?"

Ryuichi seemed to be on friendly terms with just about every shop owner they had encountered, all he had had to do was walk in and lift his glasses up to reveal his eyes and flash the proprietors a grin, and they had just about fallen over themselves to get whatever it was he wanted. Shuichi had begun to actually enjoy himself as he was plied with drinks, sweets and anything else Ryuichi asked for. His eyes met the older singers in the mirror and he saw Ryuichi considering him carefully, his dark eyes glittering faintly and in a way that sent electricity through his spine, he could every hair on his body stand on end and he had to look away quickly. "Hmm...What do you think, Rin-chan?" Ryuichi said in his excitable voice as his eyes brightened.

"Well, if he really wants a change, maybe...if we keep it long at the front...I can put layers through it, that will thin it out slightly and make it a bit more manageable. As for colour...I really like the pink but if he doesn't..."

"Shu-chan?" Ryuichi crept around the chair and looked at the other singer with a huge grin. "What do you reckon?"

Shuichi blinked at him for a minute before allowing the first smile he'd all day to grace his lips. "You decide, Ryu-chan." He said slowly.

Ryuichi felt his own smile spread across his face when he saw that curve of Shuichi's lips. His ingenious plan was working! "Alright...Rainbow colours!" He said and laughed.

Shuichi paled. "That's a bit much..." He muttered.

The hairdresser laughed. "No, that would look a bit weird...how about we leave it pink but I can put in some darker tones of red through the underneath...that'd give it some more depth..."

"Sounds good." Shuichi replied.

So, they left with Shuichi's improved hair and Ryuichi linked arms with him again. "Hmm...I fancy some ice cream!" He declared and steered Shuichi towards his favourite ice cream parlour.

They sat outside in the sunshine eating different flavours of ice cream while they watched the passersby, Shuichi stared off into the distance and sighed. He suddenly heard Ryuichi singing softly under his breath, the older singer was leaning on the table with his head resting in his palm and his eyes somewhere on the horizon, he seemed lost in his own world as his fingers tapped out a mini beat on the table.

He sang softly, a song Shuichi knew was from one of Nittle Grasper's earlier albums. He smiled slightly and his voice joined Ryuichi's.

When they finished they grinned at each other and Ryuichi laughed out loud. "You really are good!" He chuckled. "You know all my songs by heart?"

Shuichi flushed slightly but nodded. "Yeah, it's because of you that I got into music in the first place."

Ryuichi's smile softened and he lowered his sunglasses, his hand slid across the table and his fingers touched Shuichi's lightly. The look in his eyes sent shudders up Shuichi's spine and yet he didn't have the heart to pull away, he couldn't stop himself wondering how many people had been murdered by those hands...hands that helped create such beautiful lyrics and such amazing music. He bit his lip nervously and Ryuichi saw the flash of fear in his face and jerked his hand away, he looked away. "I'm sorry." He said quietly, his voice completely serious.

"No! No...It's not you...I..."

Ryuichi smiled at him kindly. "I understand." He lifted his hands. "You want to know how the hands of an artist can also be the hands of a murderer." Shuichi said nothing. "Well, it's simple. It's because I live for only one person, and he needs my protection. I'd not only kill for him, I'd die for him. If he asked me to, I'd throw away my life with a smile." His eyes sparkled in the sunlight and Shuichi saw the truth behind his words, he was perfectly happy to murder and perhaps even die for this person.

"Um...If you don't mind me asking...who is this person?" Shuichi asked, but as he finished the question he thought he already knew.

"Tohma." Ryuichi replied and his eyes filled with light, they were almost glowing as he smiled. "I love him." He whispered.

Shuichi nodded slowly. "I...I can understand wanting to protect the person you loved..." He sighed, this conversation was reminding him Yuki.

Ryuichi was staring off into the distance again, his head resting in the cup of his hand as he leaned on his elbow on the small table. "Problem is...My love is kind of a one way thing..." He muttered vaguely as if half in a dream. "Not that I mind. Tohma is...kind enough not to rub it in my face but..." he sighed and Shuichi watched as the light in Ryuichi's eyes died and they turned cold. "He cares about me, there's no doubt about that but he is in love with another."

Shuichi knew exactly who the president of NG was in love with, the man never hid it. "Doesn't...doesn't that hurt?" Shuichi asked softly, afraid that he may have pushed too far.

Ryuichi pushed his glasses up onto his head and he looked Shuichi dead in the eyes. "Like an arrow through the heart." He said softly. The blue irises were devoured by the pupils and Shuichi suddenly felt dizzy as he looked into them, as if he'd forgotten to breath. He had always worshipped Ryuichi, even idolised him to the point of placing him in an almost God-like status. The familiar chills he always got when he heard the man sing appeared and yet it was a perfectly warm day, the sun beat down on his head making him feel warm but there was a cold feeling in his stomach as if he was still eating ice cream. His finger nails dug into his palm as he clenched his hand into a fist. Finally Ryuichi looked away, breaking the spell as easily as he'd cast it. He grinned. "Shu-chan!" he said and grabbed Shuichi's hand. "I wanna sing! Let's go do some Karaoke!" He dragged the pink haired singer up and dragged him off.

Hiro sat in his room, stretched out on his bed with his guitar across his lap. He was strumming the strings slightly, his fingers hardly even moving. He was lost to his own world as the cigarette between his lips dropped hot ash onto his bed sheets, his eyes were unfocused and he was humming almost too quietly to hear. His red-ish brown hair was spread around his head and still slightly damp from his shower, his floor was covered in discarded pizza boxes and other junk food. He was waiting for Shuichi to return, he had been growing bored and decided to try out some potential songs that had been floating around his head for a while. But it wasn't working. His mind was filled with images of blood, a bullet hitting a man in the chest, the man's wide eyes as he looked accusingly at Hiro. He shuddered and his eyes closed, his fingers fell from the guitar and he covered his eyes with his hands. He pressed his palms hard against the lids until he could see colours dancing behind them, he groaned softly and tried to banish the awful sense of guilt and that horrid little part of him that had actually enjoyed killing that man. Suddenly there was a soft knock on the door. Hiro took his hands away from his eyes with a sigh, he blinked away the dots that filled his vision before setting aside his guitar and sitting up. He slid off the bed and made his way to the door.

The door opened and Yuki saw Hiro standing there, he had a half smoked cigarette dangling from his lips and he was squinting in the bright light. He was wearing nothing but a pair of baggy Pyjama bottoms that hung loosely over his hips. His bare chest was on display and his red hair fell to his shoulders, his wrists jangled with an assortment of bracelet's and thick leather straps. He raised an eyebrow at his visitor. "Shuichi's not here." He said coldly.

Yuki had expected this, he frowned. "I'm not here for Shuichi." He replied, matching Hiro's tone perfectly.

Hiro rolled the cigarette across his mouth while he considered the defeated man before him. Yuki was wearing scruffy clothing, the only thing that looked expensive were his sunglasses which sat on the top of his head. Hiro stepped aside and allowed the writer to enter. Yuki removed his shoes and looked around the place, it looked like any other teenage flat, slightly messy with the definite scent of smoke hanging in the air. As he followed Hiro into the living room he saw a games console, television, a sofa and a few soft cushions scattered around the place. He also spotted beer cans lying around the floor. "Can't offer you much in the way of drinks...only thing I've got is beer or tea." Hiro muttered as he moved over to an ashtray and stubbed out his cigarette. Yuki noticed his feet were bare and his toes curled into the carpet slightly, which was thick and deep.

"Beer's fine." Yuki replied and Hiro disappeared into another room. While the boy was gone Yuki took his chance to inspect the photographs that had been scattered around the walls and any flat surfaces not taken up by stacks of sheet music. Many were of Bad Luck, a few from their early years to more recently, every time he spotted Shuichi his heart broke over again, but he couldn't stop looking for that silly grinning face. There was very few of Hiro's family, one of his brother and Hiro sat down on the sofa together and laughing, and only one other of what could have been his parents. On the walls were also certificates pertaining to his guitar lessons or even ones from band competitions, and he saw more than a few relating to school tests. He had certainly scored high. He was obviously very intelligent, for a guitarist. Yuki returned his gaze to the one of Hiro's parents, they were stood beside him, smiling slightly stiffly. Hiro was grinning from ear to ear.

Suddenly the sound of bare feet on carpet caught his attention and he turned to see Hiro handing him a cold can. He took it with a mutter of thanks, Hiro's eyes landed on the photograph he's been looking at. A bitter smile touched his lips and he turned away, he threw himself onto the sofa and opened a beer of his own. "They don't approve." He said quietly. Yuki raised his eyebrow but remained silent. "My parents, they don't like it that I'm in the music business." He shrugged but his posture was slightly stiff. He sipped his beer. "They wanted me to be a doctor...can you imagine that?" he chuckled bitterly. "Although...I nearly did become one...when...well, you probably know. Shuichi's not the quietest person." He smiled, a small and very fond one as he thought of his friend.

Yuki stiffened slightly. "You love him." He said softly.

Hiro turned his dark eyes to Yuki, his beer half way to his lips. His smile widened and he raised an eyebrow. "Maybe." He said. He took savage pleasure in the twitch of Yuki's eyebrow. "Me and him go way back, as you know. He's my brother...more than anything else." He sighed and downed the rest of his drink. He shot Yuki a calculating glance. "Yeah, I guess I do love him."

Yuki nearly crushed his beer can. "What about Ayaka?" he said slowly.

Hiro chuckled. "Yeah...it's been a bit...formal between us for a while now. Her parents hate me, because I'm not suitable boyfriend material for their precious little daughter."

Well, Yuki thought. That explains the lack of pictures of the both of them.

"I don't reckon she'll want to continue with it...to be honest. Her parents are pressuring her to marry someone else..." He frowned thoughtfully at the wall for a moment before shaking himself and looking at Yuki. "So, you wanted to speak to me?"

"Yes." He said and began searching for the right way to begin.

Hiro saved him the trouble, the kid was more astute than he looked. "Is this about Sakuma-san and Shuichi?" He said.

"Yes..." Yuki said, slightly relieved he didn't have to bring it up himself. "Ryuichi dragged Shuichi off somewhere and Seguchi's worried..."

"You mean you're worried." Hiro corrected gently.

Yuki opened his mouth to deny it but shook his head. "Yeah, guess I am." He ran fingers through his hair distractedly. "That Sakuma...he's not good for...for him." he managed, it was difficult to even think about what they might be doing, let alone talk about it.

Hiro chuckled. "You're jealous." He pointed out as he curled his feet beneath him and watched Yuki flinch and bare his teeth. "Shuichi's a free agent, Yuki-san. You made sure of that." His voice hardened, it was something Yuki had always reluctantly admired about the guitarist, his absolute loyalty to his friend. "Shuichi is also not a complete idiot, much as he acts it at times...he has more brains up there than he likes to make out. He'll be fine..." He paused and lit up another cigarette he offered one to Yuki who declined with a shake of his head. "I'll make sure he's fine." He said firmly as he breathed out a cloud of smoke. "Unlike some people I'd never hurt him."

Yuki flinched. "I didn't do it to hurt him!" He snapped, finally losing his patience. "I did it to..."

"Protect him?" Hiro let out a sharp bark of humourless laughter. "Bull shit. You know as well as I do you did it because you're a coward! You're so afraid of a past that cannot be changed that you're blinded by a future you can change! Do you even listen to yourself when you talk? It's just utter shit! You try and act the poor misunderstood hero when all you are is a cowardly snake!" Hiro's eyes filled with anger and disgust and Yuki felt his own anger rise. "You're forever pushing Shu around! First one way then the other. One time you're together, the next you're not...Make up you damn mind! You either love him or you don't! You need to choose!"

"How dare you..." Yuki snapped furiously. "What right do you have to lecture me?"

Hiro raised his eyebrow again. "Because I'm his best friend. I'm the one who's always there when you shatter his heart; I'm the one who has to pick up the pieces. I'm the one who has to help him through everything you put him through and I'm the one he comes to when he's in pain! I have every right to lecture you!"

"I..." Yuki seemed to struggle with something. "I don't have to listen to this." He snapped and stormed form the room. Hiro stood and followed him.

"No, you don't have to listen to it. However, you do have to listen to this..." Hiro grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and slammed the larger man roughly against the wall. His eyes, normally soft and forgiving were hard. He snarled at Yuki. "If you so much as wave at Shuichi again I will know and I will hunt you down!" He hissed.

Yuki quickly got over the shock of being confronted in this way and his eyes narrowed. "And what exactly could you do about it?" He said softly, his voice low and dangerous.

"I would kill you." Hiro replied simply.

Yuki was surprised at the direct threat, Hiro was normally so polite. Yuki let out a snort of laughter. "You? You're kidding me?"

"No, Yuki-san. I am far from joking." He released the author who straightened himself out. "Shuichi has been hurt too many times by you and your stupidity. I refuse to allow it to happen again, I don't give two shits if Seguchi would have me killed, if it means you can never hurt him again then I'd die happy. Now, I would like it if you left." He opened the door and Yuki took a moment to take in everything that had happened. Finally he straightened himself out and stalked past the Guitarist and out into the fresh night air, the door was shut and locked behind him and he sighed.
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仁義