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Raising Hell	By : High_on_the_Rainbow Category: Death Note > Yaoi-Male/Male > L/Light Views: 2514 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not profit from this nor do I own the Death Note franchise.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
Hey, everybody! Rainbow-chan is back! Is it a miracle? …Probably… College is hard, and only getting harder. I want some skittles… How is it that I never run out of things to say about rainbows?
Anyway, we are at the momentous second installment of the double digit chapters! Yay! I suppose everything from here on is momentous… the story, too, since it's my first ever.
As promised, this chapter has more L/Light and very little Near/Mello. I gave you a lime and it only took 73000 words and ten chapters (sarcasm—it's wonderful). What more do you need?! Lol The dream with L and the Devil's food cake will be when L goes to bed in a few chapters because I couldn't place it here without a REALLY awkward transition. So he will dream it. In a few chapters. Because you should all know one day's events in this story can span three or four chapters with me.
WARNINGS: Again, Amane Misa… a lot more Misa. People need to be warned of her presence, she's just that awful. She is Mello's twenty three year old cousin in this story, so expect Misa to have a mouth on her. She is a necessary evil! Necessary! If she wasn't she wouldn't be here. ALSO ANGST! Lot and lots of ANGST! Things were too fluffy!
Well, let's begin. And yes, I did keep track of time during the story and I can say that exactly twenty five days has passed including chapters that spanned a few hours or one night. Seems like a lot longer doesn't it?
Raising Hell – Chapter Eleven
Hmm… Light-kun seems to think that this is all something he can 'win'. I do not deny that I too find my fair share of enjoyment in seeing him put forth his best efforts for me, but… I also feel… off?
'When did I become like this? I've only been here about a month or so… Actually, twenty five days to be exact, but, I have changed; even I can see that. I feel, but it doesn't… bother me as much as it should. Light-kun… he is changing me. I have not forgotten my goals and reasons for doing this, yet… when in the act, I find the importance of those things doesn't matter as much… This is becoming dangerous…'
Regardless, my musings are put on hold as I eye the Devil's Food Cake in front of me. I was really hoping for Angel's Food cake, but the irony of the situation is not lost on me. Light-kun is essentially the devil. He is tempting, alluring, and seemingly harmless, almost completely with soul—he is a monster in human skin, as am I. He seeks companionship even though he does not know how to love, and he eats, even though he has never been hungry for the things he consumes. He does not desire the admiration; he only seeks redemption from those he has long since lost—I found out what happened to his family thanks to gossip on the part of the nurses. His hunger is one that can never be sated, the worst kind of hunger.
I have come to fall prey to this devil, received a taste of that forbidden flavor, and now I find that I don't want to stop. I look at this cake, and I think of this devil, of Yagami Light. I want it now; my own hunger awakened. Who knew I could feel this after so long…?
I soon hear the nurses mutter about the new patient. I've not spoken a word to her, and yet I already find this girl insufferable, loud, obnoxious and irritating. …It is a bold and daring statement to make, but I will hold steady to the opinion that her voice, mannerisms and conduct are… worse than those of Matsuda. …I stand by these words. She is a petite blonde and looks to be around twenty two or twenty three in age. Her lips are drenched in a hideous red lipstick and her eyelids look like they can barely be held open with how heavy and fake her eyelashes look. Amazingly, though, her eyes are quite wide. …Her entire appearance seems fake and does not feel like it belongs in real life. Also… she looks familiar…
"Hey! Isn't that Amane Misa?! The Misa-Misa?! She's being admitted here?" Amane? The girl who spoke of her Kira worship on that radio show? …This is much worse than I could have anticipated. I know that Light-kun would never allow this girl knowledge to his true identity, but still…
"She was on Sakura TV's top news story. She overdosed on heroin," a brunette nurse says in a loud, excited whisper. The blonde nurse and brunette nurse are always gossiping about patients; it's how people here learn things they aren't supposed to know. The least they could do is learn to whisper quietly. Oh well—regardless, it would seem that I was right, not that I am ever wrong.
"I know, I saw! She got dumped by Ryuuga Hideki for that news anchor, Takada Kiyomi. And then she overdosed! She was close to death! I guess they sent her here to rehabilitate…" the blonde responds.
"Poor Misa… She must be heart-broken…"
"But she was crazy! She—" The blonde is cut off.
"Misa is not crazy! How dare you! Misa has fans! Misa is fine because Misa is loved!"
"We didn't mean anything by it, Amane-san—" the brunette tries to amend. She always seems shy and sympathetic, but she can never keep her mouth shut either. …Females are such strange creatures.
"Don't you dare say anything like that about Misa! You don't know Misa-Misa! Hideki is a lying, cheating bastard! Misa doesn't have a problem! It's not Misa's problem if Hideki likes lying sluts!"
"Of course not, Misa-chan. None of this is your fault. It's not like you chose to shoot up heroin, or you got dumped for being a petty child. And if Ryuuga Hideki likes lying sluts wouldn't you fall into that category as well, Misa-chan?" one of the nurses says in a sarcastic tone, pretending to console her. She always seems brash, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say she was quite envious of Misa. What other reason would she have to be so cold towards the girl? She may have had a celebrity crush on this Ryuuga Hideki, or perhaps is jealous of Misa's status.
I resist the urge to roll my eyes at her words and move to get my cake, taking in the sight, feeling my mouth salivate from the anticipation and hunger. They really don't give me enough sugar here. I take my fork between my thumb and index finger, delicately taking a bit from the hefty slice and bringing it to my lips, repressing a sigh of contentment as I see Light-kun come into view. He seems… shaken. I wonder if his hallucinations visited him…. 'If they did, it would stand to reason that he would be more vulnerable to outside influence… and yet… he seems… distanced. Is he in denial, perhaps?'
Unfortunately, my musings are interrupted by that god-awful girl. …Again.
"Hey, you! Why does Misa-Misa have to wear these hideous hospital scrubs? You can't seriously expect Misa-Misa to wear this, can you? Misa wants her dresses! Where is Misa's make-up bag? And Misa needs her earrings!"
"We have a policy here, Amane-san… You can only have clothes that are approved on arrival…"
"But that weirdo over there gets to wear jeans!" she exclaims, pointing rather rudely and accusingly in my direction. How childish and rude; I have met few people older than me with less manners than this girl. Frankly, it's no wonder her boyfriend dumped her for another—I'm surprised her was ever taking the relationship seriously… Then again, there is a 93.7% chance he never was really invested and merely indulged her for sex, money or publicity. "And so do other people! Misa can't wear her dresses or jewelry?! Why?!"
"Well, neither can any other girl here Amane-san…"
"Why?!"
"W-well, it's to prevent the girls from being… um…" I feel almost… sorry for the brunette girl.
"Being what?!"
"…Provocative. …We try to discourage relationships here… We try to help patients focus on recovery, not love…"
"Well, you can be sure you'll be hearing from Misa's—"
Her screaming stops, and though I am relieved, I have to wonder what caught her attention so abruptly. I turn to see Light-kun speaking to Yuki as he does every day, but when I glance at Misa and see her expression, I find myself seething with anger. …She has those eyes. The eyes of the lustful.

How dare these dumb bimbos go and insult Misa, as if they even know anything about Misa! Misa-Misa has connections! Misa knows people! Misa can put these bitches in their place! Especially that blonde street trash! What a bitch!
Misa was about to go complain to the boss of these whores, but then Misa saw him; Misa's new prince. He's… perfect for Misa, a million zillion times better than Hideki! Misa's not sure if she even wants stupid, ugly Hideki anymore after seeing him… So dreamy… Misa must have him! But who's that fat bitch Misa's man is talking to?! She can't touch him! Misa claimed him! He is Misa's!
'Okay, Misa. Go put this bitch in her place!' Misa goes over to defend her man.
"Hey, you! Back away from him! He's not yours!" Misa's arm hooks with that of the boy with the perfect, shiny light brown hair (A/N: yeah… Misa has next to no variation in adjectives because I perceive her to be that stupid), moving to get him away from this hoe. He looks kinda upset and surprised, but soon he'll be Misa's—Misa just has to tell him first!
"…Uh… Hi? …Who are you?" Misa's eyes light up as she hears his voice. It's so nice and smooth… Pretty. (A/N: Only Misa would describe Light's voice as pretty…Ugh.) Misa looks up at the man's face; he looks kinda young… like… eighteen. Oh no! Misa's cradle robbing! …But it's okay, right? Misa loves him! His face has a nice light tan, his eyes are a pretty brown and he's tall and toned and hot… Misa can't wait to kiss those soft-looking lips… Misa thinks she'll do it now!
Misa does her cutest pout—Misa doesn't want her first kiss with the pretty boy to be bad, now does she? Misa leans in, but at the last second Mr. Handsome and Perfect pulls away! Aww…
"Uh… we just met. Who are you? My name's Light, Yagami Light. …And you…?" Oh my gawd, he's so nice! Light… Yes, he most definitely is Misa's Light. He brought light into Misa's life ever since that jerk Hideki left Misa-Misa. Oh, Misa should answer her Light's question!
"Misa is Misa's name. Um… Misa-Misa has a question for her Light…"
"…Yes? What is it?"
"Well…" Misa really hopes Misa's Light says yes, or else Misa will have to work really hard, won't she?

Well, after having okaa-san console me for a time, I felt secure enough to go out to the recreation room and deal with Ryuuzaki and see whatever or whoever it was that bothered him so much. He might not have let it show much, but it bothered him a lot more than he's willing to show. Honestly, I don't know why I even care. Maybe I'm just too damn used to the guy.
Once I walk in, I see Ryuuzaki sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest and poking at what looks like Devil's Food cake. 'Wait, I know what kind of cake he has now? …Yeah, I've definitely gotten waaay too used to Ryuuzaki. Damn fool, worming his way into my life like that…' He seems like he's contemplating something, but then his eyes actually twitches—quite a feat in itself, since even a normal person with next to no observational skills could have caught the movement. I can't help internally smirking. 'I didn't think anything would bother the unshakable Ryuuzaki like that… I need to know what caused the reaction. I knew I'd only have to wait; I have to take advantage of this weakness.'
I decide to get my dinner first, though, since the source of his obvious irritation has to be in this room. I talk to Yuki, getting my extra apple; I'm so high on the idea of me getting one up on Ryuuzaki that I don't even hear annoying screeching until it's right in my ear.
"Hey, you! Back away from him! He's not yours!" I haven't turned to face the owner of this horrible voice, so I'm able to take full stock of Yuki's angry, possessive and challenging look, an obvious hint that's it a girl behind me if the pitch of the voice wasn't enough. I guess even she isn't as genuine as she acts… Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with women?
I plan to turn around and be polite, but all chances of that go flying out the window when this dumb girl decides to touch me and drag me away. Seriously, doesn't this bitch know about that wonderful thing called boundaries?! Now I have to deal with two socially retarded people who have never heard of or respect fucking boundaries?! It's like a blonde, hyper, loud and exceptionally slutty female Ryuuzaki. …That's just… terrifying.
"…Uh… Hi? …Who are you?" I manage, trying to not bitch-slap her. (A/N: How manly, Light, how manly. Sorry, no more. I just can't help it today. I don't know how many times I've had to write the word 'misa' so far and I already want to hit something.) I don't know what to do, honestly. How the hell was I supposed to guess that some girl would come grab me by my arm—which is a severe violation and invasion of my personal space—drag me away from my usual routine, and try to say she owns me? What the hell is wrong with this girl? I can barely stand Ryuuzaki in my space like this; why the hell would I stand this idiot too?
Her eyes seem to sparkle at my words, and I can safely say I'm scared. She has worse mannerisms than Matsuda. He's stupid and annoying, yes, but she is so much worse. No contest, really. It's a bold statement to make, I know, but I'm not budging on it—not one inch.
Her lips seem to pucker into that really ugly face girls make when they want to look cute and sexy on Facebook… what do they call it…? Oh, yeah—the 'duck face'. I would think a face named after something as unattractive as a duck would tip people off to not make a face like it, but I guess not. …Idiots. '…Wait… Is she… is she trying to kiss me?! What the fuck? Is she a sex addict or something? Is that what they sent her here for?!'
I lose my composure for a second and shove her away. I couldn't help it—wouldn't you do that too is some freak you never met tried to kiss you out of nowhere? She steps back, blushing and twisting her hair, which is in really childish pigtails on the sides of her head, might I add. This is the adult ward, so you have to be at least eighteen to be here. I know for a fact that I'm the youngest on the ward, so she either has to be nineteen like Ryuuzaki or in her early to mid-twenties… Grow up.
Well, can't let my hard earned image shatter now, can I? I regain my composure and address her. Be polite, Light, be polite. "Uh… we just met. Who are you? My name's Light, Yagami Light. …And you…?" There.
"Misa is Misa's name. Um… Misa-Misa has a question for her Light…" Oh, god, what is with referring to yourself in the third person? I already deal with a weird insomniac with an oral fixation and poor sense of style with no social skills who refers to everyone aside from himself in the fucking third person! What is wrong with you people?! And of course she has a question. I hate you so much already. Sigh… better set aside time in my schedule to plot your death along with Matusda's… You'll both cause me to die from stress if I don't.
"…Yes? What is it?" Might as well get it over and done with…
"Well…" she pauses, looking away shyly before meeting my eyes hopefully and determinedly. "…Will you… make Misa your girlfriend?"

"Well… Will you… make Misa your girlfriend?"
I almost choke on my cake at the sound of that. …Did she seriously ask Light-kun to date her? Many girls and staff here have bin pinning for Light-kun's affections but none have been that forward. I wait; I'm curious as to what Light-kun will do. I am 99% certain he will deny her, but I am not sure what he will do otherwise. This is… unexpected.
"U-um…" Wow, Light-kun stuttered. This is new. "I, uh… we just met…" …That was a rather weak excuse, Light-kun. I expected more; what happened to that ability to compose yourself in mere seconds?
"Yes, but—" This girl really would be more likeable if she never spoke to anyone. Maybe a body-language interpreter? Sadly the only professional interpreters are those of verbal and sign language. I let out an inaudible sigh. "—Misa… Misa-Misa loves her Light! She'll do anything for him! Please, give Misa a chance to make you love her!"
Is… is Light-kun actually contemplating this? Impossible. I have never hated his covering of my mark more than I do right now, especially since he takes it willingly. "…I can't Misa." I knew he would reject her. I'm not sure why that makes me feel… relieved, somehow. …Perhaps because the Light-kun I have come to be so acquainted with would not stoop so low as to date someone of such little intelligence. If he would do something so… offensive it would be insulting to me for associating with him. …That must be why it bothered me so much as well as why I feel relieved.
The girl seems heart-broken. Good. She needs to be knocked down a few pegs. "…Misa still loves her Light! Misa-Misa will wait forever if she has to! Misa knows her Light loves her, too! Misa just needs to give her Light time to realize it."
This is ridiculous. I'm not even sure I want to know how she bounded back from that. Instead, I wisely choose to ignore her for the rest of lunch; group will be starting soon.

This girl is insane. Does she really think I'd even consider dating someone I just met let alone someone so stupid? Sorry, but no matter how hard you try, you can't change your IQ. …Oh, look, Matsuda's here.
"Okay, everyone, time for group!" I follow him into the group room and sadly, this parasite of a girl keeps clinging to my arm, hanging off me like the slimy little leech I'm thoroughly convinced she is. Wait… is Ryuuzaki… glaring?
When I sit, I am not at all surprised but extremely annoyed that this… girl sits right next to me—she's practically in my lap! I can't stand her! Not to mention her perfume smells cheap! Matsuda speaks, and I can honestly say that I've never been more grateful for his presence.
"Um, excuse me, miss? You can't touch people like that here… It's against our policy. There has to be at least an arm's length of space between people… So, please let go of Light-kun."
"Huh?! But he's Misa's Light! Misa-Misa should be allowed to see and touch her Light whenever she wants! Who are you anyway?" I don't recall ever agreeing to be 'yours', you half-wit. You might even be less than a half-wit. Matsuda is a half-wit, so does that make you? A quarter-wit? Pathetic.
"I-I'm Matsuda Touta. I'm the group counselor… Surely they told you all this when you arrived and they gave you the tour?" It would seem Matusda gets a little more confident with people on equal or lesser levels of intelligence. Interesting.
"W-well, yeah! O-of course they did! Misa just… Sh-shut up, oldie!" I don't even want to dignify that with a response, let alone thoughts.
"Yes, well, since we have a new member of the ward and the group, let's go around and introduce ourselves for the young lady, okay? Please state your names, ages and what you're here for. We'll start with… well, Light-kun why don't you start? You seem to know her already, so…" I really wish you wouldn't make that assumption, Matsuda. I hate her, and I've only known her ten minutes.
I let out an inaudible sigh before I speak. "…Very well, Matsuda-san. I am Yagami Light, age eighteen, and I am here for hallucinations, various psychological traumas, and a particularly severe case of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or P.T.S.D. for short." I doubt she understood a word of that by the severely confused look on her face, but she nods anyway; that's probably her way of 'trying to make me love her'. You can't force love, idiot. Clearly your own parents have difficulty expressing 'love' for their own daughter; I've heard of tough love, but it's still a bit much, not that I'm sympathizing. The day I sympathize with Misa is the day I dye my hair orange and call myself a ginger. The others went around making introductions and just like last time, Ryuuzaki finished last… How similar to our first group together.
"…I am Ryuuzaki. I am nineteen years of age and I am not a liberty to say why I am here."
This only seems to anger the twit; thanks for helping things Ryuuzaki. Thanks a lot. "Hey, oldie! Why isn't he saying why he's here? Everybody else did! Why's he so special?"
"The higher-ups have told us that he is not to be forced into revealing information he doesn't feel comfortable sharing. He has… special circumstances. He has ever since he was admitted."
"But that's not fair!"
"Life is not always fair, Amane-san." Yeah, just like it's not fair to me and my fucking boundaries to have you hanging off me like a malignant tumor. Or how it's not fair to my lungs to be forced to inhale those nasty, cheap, toxic fumes you call perfume. Or how it isn't fair that I will be half-deaf before the age of twenty because of your inability and/or refusal to learn how to control your decibel count. I'm not about to get down to your level and tell you to use your 'inside voice' for three reasons: one, you don't have an inside voice—you have the ever-so-rare 'I scream anytime, anywhere' voice. Two, such an action would imply that I hold the belief that you can understand something, even under kindergarten simplicity. Three, and most importantly, I will not damage my pride for someone like you. What the hell about this situation is fair to me, huh?!
"Shut up, you creeper! You're worse than the old guy!"
"I'm not old…" Great, now Matsuda's losing control of the situation. Now I'll have to step in. …That's just wonderful. When did this become a kindergarten class? ...Oh yeah, when Misa came. I guess I can add 'baby-sitter' to my list of skills if I don't commit suicide first. ...No, the world needs Kira. ...Never have I felt more burdened.
"Misa, it doesn't matter why he's here. Ryuuzaki, stop playing into her games. It's childish and not helping at all. And Matsuda, please regain control of the situation. You're the counselor—you're supposed to diffuse things like this, not sit back and watch. Now what is today's topic?"
Misa looks like she wants to argue, but one look from me shuts the bitch up. Matsuda seems to gather his bearings and Ryuuzaki looks absolutely adorable as he brings his thumb to his lips and he pouts. 'Wait, adorable? …Weird… I need to stop that train of thought right here, right now. I almost scared of where it will go if I don't.'
"…Ahem… Well… Yes, you, um… have a point, Light-kun. Um… I actually didn't have anything planned out today, since I was out yesterday at the hospital… You know, my wife and I just had a baby girl. We named her Matsuda Kimiyo. …So, in light of that, why don't we just talk about developments in our own lives? Share pasts a bit, hm? Uhm… Let's start with you, Misa-chan, since you're new and all," Matsuda offers. …Well it's more convenient that way. I can make up just about anything and they have no way to verify it; it'll also help with my release if I participate. And of course Ryuuzaki will be forced to divulge some truth as well. I'll just have to weed through the lies to get to it.
"…Fine! Misa-Misa's a famous model. She works for Gothic Lolita magazines and sells all kinds of stuff! Misa's parents own the Amane Corporation, and they make make-up and stuff, but Misa won't take over it!" She says, huffing towards the end of her rant.
"And why is that, Misa-chan?" Matsuda asks in that annoyingly condescending 'I care and it's okay to tell me about it because I'll pretend I won't judge you but in the back of mind you know I am' voice, looking at her with those pitying eyes I hate so much. And people wonder why so many patients are adverse to share anything with counselors. …Idiots. We aren't children. Most of the people on this ward are older than Matusda.
"Because they're assholes! They tried to make Misa-Misa marry some guy and take over! He was, like, five years younger than Misa! And he was totally crazy! He had a really weird name, too! He called himself Beyond Birthday. Geez, seriously? What kind of name is that?! Misa wouldn't marry someone so ugly and creepy. And when Misa said she wouldn't, Misa's parents threw her out! They said modeling was demani…demee…"
"Demeaning?" I offer.
"Yeah! That's Misa's Light for you! So smart!" I'm not yours and stop acting like you've known me for years! I barely know you, you freak! "They said it was bad since Misa should be the CEO and not a lower worker in the company, and they said it objeve… objeco…"
"Objectified?"
"Yup, that's it, ob-somethy-fied me and that is was disgraceful—" she didn't have a problem saying that one? Maybe they said it enough times that it stuck. Wouldn't be all that surprising since she did just try to kiss a stranger and is a slut. "—so they told Misa she was on her own," she said sourly.
"Well, I'm sorry to hear that Misa," Matsuda said consolingly. I'm not going to risk her latching onto me further by encouraging her with my attention. I don't give a damn about what she went through. She sounds just like a damn spoiled brat. She's rich and her family just wanted her to do what all people in her position do. Someone has to. I'd love to still have a family to please.
"Yeah. That Beyond guy was so weird. He had these creepy red eyes and he looked just like Ryuuzaki! He was always eating strawberry jam and had the worst posture and habits and he was annoying and—"
At this point, I couldn't even hear Misa anymore. I was too focused on what she said about this Beyond Birthday guy looking like Ryuuzaki. Red eyes… black hair…
His face is now completely clear; he has black hair, and terrifying red eyes…
He was engaged to Misa…
B's parents were rich, but because of the way B looked and acted, they never thought they would have a successor to their company. So they did the sensible thing; arranged a marriage. It was to a girl five years his senior, Amane Misa…
I go over Misa's words in my head again…
They tried to make Misa-Misa marry some guy and take over! He was, like, five years younger than Misa! And he was totally crazy! He had a really weird name, too! He called himself Beyond Birthday…
They have to be the same guy… It's the same person… Damn it, what else did he say?!
B wasn't all too happy with this, so he ran away to his secret place. It was near a relative's estate, the Ryuuzaki estate. B would run away here every day and one day B fell in love. He was smitten with a beautiful boy named L…
L…? Ryuuzaki Estate…? But—
He was a year older than B and B's cousin, but B loved him…
It can't be… Misa's words echo in my head…
He had these creepy red eyes and he looked just like Ryuuzaki! He was always eating strawberry jam and had the worst posture and habits and he was annoying and—
I remember his words…
B wanted to get closer to L so he started to dress like him, act like him, speak like him and even ate the same things...
And what he did with Sayu… The flashbacks… I thought I repressed them…
He walks over to the drawer where our mother kept the special knives and takes out two turkey knifes, using them to stab Sayu through both of her hands and pin her to the wall across the room from me. Ignoring her screams of agony, he saunters nonchalantly over to the cabinet.
Wait, she... said...
He looked just like Ryuuzaki! He was always eating strawberry jam...
And he—
After digging around a bit, he gets out the homemade strawberry jam that our grandmother had made earlier that week and begins to it with his bare hands, which are still covered in blood.
That asshole he… he killed my family…
"Your blood is so sweet..." He approaches Sayu with a knife and slowly runs it along her face and down her neck, drawing out her life's essence. "L liked sweet things…"
Sayu's death... he—
I race towards the man, trying to save Sayu with the knife I grabbed from the kitchen earlier, but the killer side-steps me, increasing my momentum by pushing me forward towards Sayu's half-dead form. I can't stop in time; Sayu is stabbed through the heart, her warm blood washing over my hands, rinsing away the last of my innocence. She looks up at me, eyes wide with shock and disbelief before she musters up the last of her strength to speak her dying words.
Damn it, I don't want to remember any…more… I can't…
"Light... why...? What... did I... do... wrong?" Sayu coughs up blood; the smell overwhelms me as the light in her eyes slowly recedes.
My vision is fading to black… I… I can't see… I can't… hear… Everything's muted… The last thing I think I see is Ryuuzaki, eyes wider than usual, full of an… emotion…? What is that emotion…? I… I think it's…
…Fear? Sadness? Or maybe, just maybe it's…
…Regret?

I knew I recognized her mouth and attitude from somewhere. Amane Misa. Mello's elder cousin… The 'sweet sixteen'… and Beyond's fiancé…
I see Light-kun's reaction to the information and I can't help feeling a little… curious. What happened to him? Did he know Beyond? If so, what did he do to him? It can't have been anything pleasant…
Suddenly, I see his eyes fade, and his form wavers. He suddenly collapses, and I see realization in his eyes—he must know that Beyond is connected to me in some way. There is no doubt he'll seek answers.
"L-Light?! Light! Lighty, are you okay?! Wh-what should Misa do? Somebody help him! Misa's Light just fainted!" Gee, thanks for the obvious news Amane-san. Why not just say you can't do anything either? …Useless idiot.
"W-we have to get him to the doctors! Ryuuzaki-kun, please help me lift him," Matsuda commands with surprising authority. I never knew he could be this commanding under this much stress… I suppose he isn't completely inept, after all.
"…Of course, Matsuda-san," I say, still keeping my monotone even under the stress of the situation at hand. I grab Light-kun under one arm and Matsuda the other, rushing him to the hospital wing. Once we get him to the doctors, they say that they will work to stabilize him. Before I can turn to go back to the ward, Matsuda stops me with a hand on my shoulder. Looking at him, I can hardly believe him to be the same meek and fumbling idiot that holds our group therapy sessions.
"…Ryuuzaki-kun," he says, his voice strong, yet laced heavily with worry and concern. "…You are one of the most stable patients here, right alongside Light-kun."
I don't bother to correct his statement. Light-kun may be extremely unstable, but he is well-practiced in hiding it. I could not convince him otherwise. Regardless of that fact, I nod, waiting for him to continue.
"…I would like to ask you to stay here with him. I'll need someone to be here when the doctors report on his condition, and I can't do it because I need to be back at the ward to control the chaos. The nurses can only handle things for so long. …I trust you with this. Besides…" he pauses, looking at Light-kun's stressed face, sweating and barely breathing. "…I think you're his only real friend here. You're the only one he seems to take seriously."
I know this to be true, but despite everything around us I am extremely curious as to how someone as dense as Matsuda came to deduce the correct conclusion. Light-kun has done well to convince everyone else of his stability.
"…How did Matsuda-san reach this conclusion?" I ask.
"Oh, well… He talks to you more and seems to banter and be around you more than anyone else. I know we probably just annoy Light-kun… When we got his file we saw his IQ. It's over two hundred! …Now, I know I'm not the smartest guy, but I think I'd be pretty bored and annoyed if I was Light-kun… with no one on my level to talk to… And an asylum is a boring place to be in to begin with. He's been here for more than six months…"
I nod silently. That would make sense; I suppose Matsuda understands other by placing himself in the places and situations of others—an interesting and surprisingly accurate display of the one thing I forced myself to lose…Empathy. …I wonder… Why do I feel regret?
"…But then you came, Ryuuzaki. It doesn't have much of anything on your file, not even your IQ, but you seem to have the same air about you that Light-kun did… Almost bored, tired in a way. I hope you'll open up soon… But you are equals, Ryuuzaki. I… I have a feeling he'll need you when he wakes up."
I consider Matsuda for a moment. I find that I almost want to be truthful with him, to tell him things… Almost. 'I wish I could, Matsuda-san… But I can't; it is a risk I cannot afford to take.'
"…Anyway, Ryuuzaki-kun, I leave things to you," Matsuda says confidently, turning to leave. I nod my affirmation. The doctor soon enters, a tall man with a muscular build. He introduces himself.
"Hello, I am Mogi. I'm the doctor on duty right now. I happened to overhear what Matsuda said, so I'm just going to cut to the chase, here. We've found that Yagami Light is in a state of shock; we don't know what caused it. We have managed to stabilize him, but he's going to be out cold in a coma-like state for anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks. …We're not sure when he'll snap out of it."
"Is there anything I can do the help him, Mogi-san?" I ask. I'm not aware that the words left me until Dr. Mogi responds to my unintentional inquiry.
"Unless you know what triggered it and how to counter it, then no."
"I am 87% certain that Light-kun's current condition was triggered by something spoken by a member of our ward during our group therapy session. Light-kun paled before fainting. …He looked scared."
"Ah, so it's a psychological trauma. In that case, there's not much anyone can do. Those kinds of things have to be sorted out by the person themselves. …The only thing you could try would be to stay by him and encourage him to get through it," he explains grimly.
I don't care what it is. I find my desire to help Light-kun is overwhelming, but I don't have the time to ponder why at the moment. "…Of course, Mogi-san."
"Very well, Ryuuzaki-kun. Please pass the news along to Matsuda."
"Of course. …But before I leave, is there a telephone I may have access to? I wish to consult a friend who may be able to help." It is a partially true statement.
"Yes, right over there."
"I am grateful for Mogi-san's assistance."
Heading in the direction Mogi-san pointed, I quickly dial Near's cellphone; calling the school is slightly more risky and I have to account for the possibility that Near's façade cracking, especially given the fact that I had been delaying telling him everything until I was sure I had Light-kun on our side. …Oh well, there's nothing he can do to change it now, which I suppose is just as well.
"…This had better be important, L. …You are lucky I was in the bathroom and able to take this call."
I can tell he is upset by his lack of greeting and his use of my nickname in a harsh way—he no doubt would be using my first name if he wasn't so aware of the constant surveillance on me. "…It is, otouto. Firstly, I have a great many things that need to be explained, Near-kun."
He pauses, no doubt trying to discern what could warrant such extreme behavior on my part. I know he will listen. "…Very well, nii-san. As this is extremely out of character for you it must be of high importance. …I will allow you to explain specifics later, but for now give me the most essential elements of the situation and we will proceed from there."
"…Of course. I would expect no less of your reasonability, otouto. …Well, I suppose the first thing Near-kun should know is… I've found him."
End Chapter Eleven
6600 words.
Well, you'll all see what that means next chapter. Trust Misa to hurt people and fuck everything up. So now, Light's in mental shock, unable to have hot make-out sessions with L, but this is how L realizes what he feels and how Light figures out everything besides his damn feelings. Of course, L has too much pride to admit them to Light—it's an obvious matter of 'winning and losing'.
I finally got more of that angst I was going for. Yay me!
Thanks to Sae-senpai (just because) and all my new followers! I have nine?! What? People actually want to read this?! I guess I have to keep going then! Please deal with the waiting; I'm in school and I make my chapters a minimum of 6000 words without author's notes so that the wait is worth it… I hope is has been and will continue to be.
ALSO, no one caught the fact that Mello's last name was spelled wrong so I had to go edit every single chapter and change it from "Kheel" to "Keehl". I did take the time to fix other errors as well, but my grammar check is virtually non-existent and my spell check can only do so much. If a word is missing or I use 'or' when there should be 'of' I can't help it; the keys are right next to each other. Forgive me.
May not-god grant you all a lovely rainbow.
Ja ne,
Rainbow-chan :3
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Raising Hell