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Life After Near Death	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 14426 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
"One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside."

― John Lennon

Chapter 11

Unexplained Pain
By the end of the week, the whole guild had heard the rumor.
Natsu and Loke were seen at a strip club!
Although no one was surprised at all to know that Loke frequented a place like that, nobody could believe at first that Natsu had been there, too. Not only that, but apparently he had taken an interest in one of the dancing girls.
"Natsu?" Lucy exclaimed in shock, staring at Mira as she heard the rumor. "That idiot who has no interest in women was with a stripper?"
Gray overheard her and looked over sharply. No interest in women? What a thing for Lucy, of all people, to say!
Mira nodded. "I asked Loke, and he said it was true. Apparently, Natsu got dumped, so Loke took him there to cheer him up."
Gray jolted even harder. Natsu got dumped?
"Wait," Lucy laughed stiffly. "Dumped? Does that mean he was dating someone?"
"Hmm, I don't think so," Mira wondered, tapping a finger to her chin. "Loke said he was dumped, but maybe it was just that he confessed and the girl turned him down." Mira gave a scheming smile to Lucy. "Would you happen to know anything about that?"
"N-no!" Lucy cried out, blushing slightly. "That is, it wasn't me. He has never confessed anything to me … other than the fact that he's hungry," she added in a mumble.
"Aw, too bad," Mira sighed. "I was hoping."
"What do you mean, too bad?" Lucy cried out, turning an even brighter shade of pink. "Hoping what?"
Gray turned away. Natsu confessed to someone? He was dumped? He hooked up with a stripper?
He rolled his wheelchair over to Elfman. "Hey, do me a favor. Pinch me."
Elfman raised an eyebrow, shrugged, and pinched Gray hard on the arm.
"Oww!" he cried out, and he saw a bruise already coming up on the spot. Damn, that was a hell of a pinch! "Okay, so this isn't some bizarre dream."
"Do you mean about Natsu?" asked Elfman.
Gray looked up sharply. "You heard?"
"I think everyone has by now. Mira has been going on and on about it. I don't see what's the big deal. Strip clubs are manly!"
Lisanna hit her big brother on the back of his head as hard as she could. "How would you know?" she shouted. "I'm telling Evergreen."
"I … not me. I've never been in one of those clubs. Just … they're the sort of place a man goes to, right?" Elfman said defensively, rubbing out the hit.
Lisanna slumped down. "I can't believe Natsu would, though. It just doesn't seem like him."
Gray watched the sadness on her face. Everyone knew that she and Natsu had something when they were kids. Even if it was nothing more than a cute, childish crush, it was the talk of the guild for years. People made bets about how old they would be when they finally started dating. Those rumors fell silent when Lisanna was presumed dead. Now, some still whispered, debating if Natsu would pick Lucy or Lisanna.
"Why did you turn him down?" Elfman asked. "I thought you still liked him."
Lisanna jolted and went bright red. "What? M-m-me?" she stuttered. "I didn't … that is … he didn't say anything to me. I wasn't the one he confessed to. Besides," she blushed coyly, "if Natsu did confess something like that to me, I … I wouldn't … umm…" Her voice faded with embarrassment.
Gray looked aside. So, it was not Lucy, and it was not Lisanna.
"You should be an idiot. Stupid and patronizing and … and … and not like this."
"Maybe I want to be like this, Gray."
Gray reached up and touched where Natsu had caressed his cheek that day. Could it be, that had been Natsu's way of confessing?
Lisanna went on, "I heard the lady said she just wanted to be friends, and she thought of Natsu as a sibling."
"Dammit, Natsu, you're like the brother I never had. You're annoying as hell, but we're teammates, we're friends, we're family, we're … like brothers."
"No way," Gray whispered. He covered his mouth. It couldn't have been that, right? No way!
"So," asked Elfman, "where is Natsu now?"
"He left town."
Gray jolted back over into the conversation. "He left?" he shouted in a panic.
Lisanna blinked her blue eyes in surprise at the outburst. "He's been leaving a lot. Haven't you noticed? He comes home barely long enough to pack more clothes and goes off again. I heard he's searching for a way to heal your leg. It's really sweet of him to care for you that much."
"We fight, we're constantly at each other's throats, but … but I don't really hate you. I may say I do, but I don't. Not really. I … care for you."
"Gray?"
He shook his head. What Natsu did with his life, who he had fun with, why he had been doing things totally out of his nature like drinking and clubbing, none of it should matter to him. It was Natsu's life. If Gray could go to some northern town and pick up two girls at once, Natsu could go to a strip club and hook up with a dancer. Fuck him!
Gray rolled his wheelchair over to the bar. "Mira. Something cold and strong."
"Gray, with your stomach still bad…"
"Just fix the drink," he snapped softly.
She frowned, but she began to reach for some alcoholic ingredients.

An hour later, Erza came into the guild hall fresh from a mission.
"Hey, Titania!" Gajeel called out. "Did you defeat that mountain monkey or whatever it was?"
"It was more of a baboon than a monkey, and it was not a difficult task."
"Oh yeah? Then why do you reek of your own blood?"
"This particular monster had fairly sharp claws. It's nothing."
Wendy trotted up to her. "I can heal it so there's no scar."
"Thank you." She Requipped into a skirt and tank top, and they saw the bloodied bandage wrapped around her upper arm. First, she walked over to where she saw Gray sitting. "This way—" Erza leaned over to whisper secretively into Wendy's ear. "—perhaps you can do a little healing on Gray as well. He doesn't look too good."
"Oh," Wendy muttered. "Um, he's … drunk. He's been drinking all afternoon."
"In his condition?" Erza said in shock. "I thought the doctors warned him not to drink to excess. His liver was severely damaged."
"Mira has tried to warn him many times already," Wendy pouted. "Perhaps I can heal the liver if you distract him. He's been really cranky today."
"Sheesh! Gray used to be mellow with his emotions, almost cold. That near-death experience sure has changed him."
Wendy nodded in sad agreement. Even she had noticed how Gray changed. "It's understandable, especially with his disability. Natsu as well. He saw Gray get hit and couldn't get to him in time. He did a lot that day to help me save Gray's life, but … I could tell it was hard on him. He's changed, too."
"It was traumatic for both of them," Erza sighed. "I think the whole team suffered. We haven't done a mission together since that day. Even Lucy is either doing solo missions or teaming up with Levy or Cana, and you've been teaming up with Romeo a lot more."
Wendy's face went bright red. "I-it's not like that at all. We're not teaming up any more often than other people."
Erza patted her head. "He's part of your generation, Wendy. It's good to be friends with people your own age. Sort of like how Gray, Natsu, and I were good friends when we were young."
Wendy muttered to herself, "The two of them wouldn't call it being good friends. More like they were terrorized by you." However, the redhead did not hear her whisper.
Erza walked over to Gray and took a seat with him. "How are you feeling today, Gray?" she asked in a worried yet firm voice while Wendy sneaked up behind him to start the healing.
"I'm doing fine, Erza. You don't need to worry about me." His voice was calm but tainted with a hint of bitterness as he sipped more of his glass. The alcohol burned down his throat.
"Should you be drinking that?" Erza asked, eying the amber contents.
"So what if I do?" he slurred. He tipped the drink back, downing all of it, and slammed the glass onto the table. "Another glass, Mira."
"Gray!" Erza scolded.
Mira came forward with a mug while giving him a hard look. "This is your fourth one, Gray. I'm cutting you off after this."
He muttered something under his breath, likely calling her a foul name, and took the drink.
Erza gave a sigh as Gray began to drink. He yawned and rubbed his eyes as the alcohol started to take effect. He felt tired and weary, but at least the inner turmoil had calmed down.
Over by the bar, Laxus walked up to Mira and nodded back over to Gray's table. "What's up with him?"
Mira's lower lip puckered sadly. "Both Gray and Natsu have begun to drink a lot over the past few weeks. It's really worrisome."
Hearing her fretful tone pissed off Laxus. "Hey, snowflake," he shouted. "Sober up. You're making Mira upset."
Gray glared at the Lightning Dragon Slayer but said nothing. If he said the wrong thing, Laxus would zap him, and he could not leap out of the way. Not anymore. Not with his leg paralyzed. He might have chanced it once, but he felt powerless now.
Erza quietly stared at Gray for a long time. The expressions on his face, those silent torments, made her feel sorry for him. "Gray," she said, and she put her hand on his knee. "We're all here for you."
Wordlessly, he glanced down at her hand. Erza followed his gaze and realized she had rested it on his left leg. She jerked her hand back quickly.
"Sorry about that."
He shrugged languorously. "It's not like I can feel it. You could stab me there and I wouldn't feel a thing."
"Don't give up. Natsu is running around trying to find a cure for you."
Gray gritted his teeth, and the empty glass in his hand frosted over. "It's a waste, Erza. Natsu's wasting his time. He's nothing more than an idiot who can't accept reality."
Erza's patience cracked, and the fury of the Titania raged. "Do you have any idea how much Natsu's done for you?"
"He cauterized some arteries and donated some blood. Big deal."
"He donated three times more blood than a normal person should, and he jump-started your heart when the doctors had given up and were ready to pronounce you as dead. Then when you needed more surgery, he donated even more blood! He has not given up on you, Gray. Even when the experts said you would die, Natsu did everything to keep you alive. Now he's willing to do anything to heal your leg."
"It's a goddamn waste!" he shouted. "I know how bad my leg is. I'll be talking with the doctor next week. We're going to discuss options for amputation and a prosthetic."
"Gray!"
"At least I'll be able to walk," he yelled. "The doctor says that maybe some of the pain will go away. Maybe then, my life can start to go back to normal. Right now, this is as good as I'll get." He looked down at his drink, which had completely frozen solid into a lump of ice. "Have you noticed that I don't strip anymore?"
Erza's mouth dropped. Come to think about it, Gray had not removed his clothes in public since leaving the hospital.
"I hate those scars," he muttered in anguish, clenching his teeth. "My leg looks totally fucked up. My stomach … and my chest," he said, lightly touching where he knew he had a round scar where the dark wizard had pierced through his chest and lung. "I hate seeing them. I don't want to show those scars. Scars I get from battles where I win, that's one thing, but these … they show to the whole world how I screwed up, that I lost, and I should be dead!"
"Are you still blaming Natsu for saving you?" Erza asked angrily. "You know very well, any of us would have done the same. We don't leave our friends behind!"
Gray turned aside to ignore her. Erza clenched her hand. She suddenly grabbed the front of his collar, surprising Gray and making him drop his frozen mug.
"When we entered the guild, we knew the risks that come with being a wizard," she shouted. "We were prepared to die in order to protect Fairy Tail and those in it. Did you forget that, Gray? Did you?"
Mira walked up to her and took the Titania's shoulder. "Erza, calm down."
Gray stared wide-eyed as Erza's words sank in. She was right; when he joined Fairy Tail, although he had been only a child, he knew that the life of a wizard would be dangerous, and missions could be fatal. He also knew that he had risked his life many times to rescue his guild mates. Some never fully recovered. Others healed only after many years. He was no different now.
Erza saw the solemnness dim Gray's eyes, and she slowly released his collar. Gray cursed under his breath and looked away stubbornly. He lowered his head as his mind began to race.
Erza sat back down and said quietly, "We are all here for you, Gray. Don't shut yourself out. Natsu is doing his best to help you. You know he cares about you a lot, right? And you care about him."
Gray looked up sharply at Erza.
"Even if I say that I hate you, even if we fight and beat each other up, don't forget. Okay? Don't forget that, deep down, I care for you."
"You know he would do anything for you."
Natsu's tearful words repeated in his head. "I will do anything—anything—to help you."
"Natsu's been exhausting himself lately," Erza went on. "Don't make it harder on him, Gray. He worries about you."
"Sure! He worries so damn much," Gray muttered caustically. "And that's why he's off screwing strippers, right?"
Erza's eyes grew huge. "He's … what? Natsu?"
"You've been gone, so I guess you haven't heard. Sure, Natsu goes off searching for some mythical medical miracle for me, but do you know where he goes when he comes back to Magnolia? Strip clubs! He took a fancy with some strip dancer, and he's probably banging her every chance he gets."
For some reason, that hurt deep inside. On one hand, Gray felt a sense of relief. He had almost started to think that Natsu was gay, and maybe—totally unrealistically, of course—he was attracted to Gray. That was utterly preposterous, but he had begun to wonder why things seemed … off. If Natsu really was in love with him, how weird that would be!
"It'd definitely be … strange, right?"
"Yeah, it would be really weird."
But if Natsu was screwing strippers, maybe his suspicions were all wrong. Maybe Natsu just had an odd sense of humor, or maybe Gray was seeing things that were not there, because he felt just a little desperate after his failure with the two girls in that northern town. Maybe he just wanted to pretend that someone—anyone—would want him that way, despite the leg and his troubles with performance.
However, Natsu was straight. He even said, it would be strange. Now, he was hanging out at a strip club. Gray should feel relieved. If Natsu was in love with him … hell, what would he even do? How could he respond? Even if he was desperate, this was Natsu!
So why did he feel angry to learn that Natsu hooked up with a girl? Why should he even care?
"Look, if sleeping with those girls bugs you that much, it's my life, so I can do what I want. Do you really think I would care if you went around sleeping with girls? I don't care. It's your business. So this, what I do, it's my own damn business."
That's right! He had yelled at Natsu, Erza, and many others who harassed him about hooking up with someone while injured. Why should he even care if Natsu hooked up with some random girl?
No … not just someone random. A stripper!
Why did that make his heart freeze even colder?
Gray left the guild hall, slightly drunk and going slowly. The good thing about being in a wheelchair: at least he did not fall flat on his face when drunk. Instead, he rolled unevenly, sometimes almost out into the street. He just wanted to get home and away from the stares of people in town who were probably wondering why he was weaving so badly.
Up ahead, he saw a flash of pink and a flutter from a white scarf.
"Natsu?"
He rolled faster. He wanted to talk to the Dragon Slayer. He was not even sure what he wanted to say, but he wanted to speak with him, maybe ask him just why he agreed to go to a strip club with Loke.
Just as he was close enough to shout, he saw a girl approach Natsu. She was gorgeous! Her breasts nearly exploded out of a clinging red blouse, her ebony hair flowed down in waves to her waist, and despite the chilly weather, she wore a tiny leather skirt and fishnet stockings with crimson heels that looked impossible to walk in.
Wait … was she the stripper? If so, she must be damn popular at her job!
Gray sat there, frozen as he watched Natsu smile at her. She laughed at something he said, leaned over, and gave him a kiss on the cheek, right there in public.
Gray felt like he had just been punched in the gut. He looked away, cringing inside, not wanting to see this.
Why not? Why should he care? 'Yeah, why should I care what that bastard does?'
Instead of leaving, he angrily grabbed his wheels and rolled across the street, glaring as he approached the couple. It sounded like Natsu was listing various restaurants. Did that mean he was about to go on a date with her? He had not even returned to the guild hall yet since coming home from his search.
Suddenly, the two turned and began to walk away.
"Yo, Natsu," Gray shouted. The Dragon Slayer and the lady stopped and looked around. Gray knew he had to say something, but … what? What right did he have to intrude? Why was he butting in? He looked over to the lady and asked her, "Is he bothering you, miss?"
"Who, him?" she asked, wrapping her hands around Natsu's muscular arm. "We're just going on a date. Natsu-dear, who is this guy? Do you know him?"
Natsu scowled and looked away. "He's the idiot I was telling you about."
"Oh!" she said softly. She eyed Gray up and down, looking mildly surprised. "Well, charmed to meet you. I'm Rei-chan."
Gray figured he could at least be civil to a lady. "Gray Fullbuster. Are you and Natsu … a couple?"
She giggled softly, and Natsu began to blush. "I suppose so."
Suppose so? What the hell did that mean?
"I guess you could say I'm … an instructor," she said, giving Gray a wink.
Natsu jolted at that. "Rei-chan!" he cried out, looking mortified.
Gray gulped down his stomach. An instructor? Was she teaching Natsu about sex? Was that it? Was he maybe paying her? Why would someone as good-looking as Natsu need to stoop so low as to hire a prostitute?
Wait, did he just think Natsu was good-looking?
Icing his emotions, Gray practically sneered, "Well, good luck teaching that knucklehead anything."
"Oh, but he's such a very good student," she said sensually. "He devours anything I give him, just eats it right up and wants more." Her eyes delved into his. "He has … quite an appetite. For knowledge, of course!" She let one of her fingers trail along Gray's arm. "He's so desperate to learn, he wants anyone to be his instructor." She leaned over closer to Gray. "What could you teach him?"
"Not a damn thing," Gray said, glaring caustically at her.
She clicked her tongue and shook her head. "Don't short-change yourself, dear. I think you've been around the classroom once or twice."
Gray's face flinched at the metaphor, what it implied about his promiscuity, and he stared frostily at her.
"Or could it be you're still a student? Maybe you still need to learn some things about yourself, lessons you've never learned, subjects you've never dared to study." She eyed him up and down. "I could teach you."
"I'm not desperate enough to hire a prostitute."
"I never said I'd fuck you," she smiled sweetly. She placed her hands on the armrests of his wheelchair and leaned in closer to him. "I could teach you. Give you lessons. Help you study. Decipher what those dreams are about."
Gray's eyes widened in terror. "What dreams?"
"I'm no mind reader," she assured him, "but we all have dreams, desires … fantasies."
An image popped into Gray's head: the dragon prince, the fiery gaze, those burning hands… His breathing quickened, and he briefly glanced over to Natsu, who was staring at the lady in cautious confusion.
"Oh?" she whispered with a lick to her crimson lips. "Interesting. You, Gray-dear, intrigue me. I would definitely love to take you in as a student."
"Rei-chan!" Natsu shrieked.
She stood up as if she had said nothing at all and walked back to Natsu's side. "Just chatting, dear. No need to get jealous."
Gray stared straight ahead. He was the one with weird fantasies. Here was Natsu with a gorgeous woman on his arm, and Gray was the one thinking of homoerotic fantasies. He shook his head. No! They were just dreams, just stupid dreams! He glared at Natsu. Damn him! Damn him for putting weird thoughts into his head!
Natsu saw hatred in those droopy blue eyes. "Gray…"
"You better watch out." He gave the woman a cold stare. "That lady is poisonous. Don't come crying to me when you get your heart broken."
"It's not like…"
"I don't care," Gray shouted, cutting him off. "Didn't I tell you before? It's your business. I … don't … care." He glared once more at the raven-haired beauty. "Just watch yourself." He spun the wheelchair around and rolled off furiously.
Rei-chan chuckled to herself. "I can see why you fancy him, Natsu-dear."
"Why did you say all of that?" he yelled furiously at her.
She put a hand on her shapely hip, completely unaffected by his anger. "Why not? I'm teaching you lots of stuff, right? But to teach you correctly, I have to study the subject as well."
"Yeah, but … Gray … he…"
"He isn't in love with you yet, Natsu-dear," she deduced, looking like she pitied him. "But I think he's getting there. He needs more time, and you have much more to learn. Now, shall we go? Your stomach is growling so cutely."
She began to walk away with a sway to her hips. Natsu looked back to Gray as he rolled away in the wheelchair. Those narrow eyes tightened in anguish, but he shook his head. He could not say anything, not yet.
"Natsu-dear! Anything the matter?"
"No," he whispered, slowly turning away from Gray. "It's nothing."

Next Chapter: "Dragons and Devils"
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Life After Near Death