Death Note: Short Erotic Pieces

“Where the hell am I?”

Light Yagami, better known as Kira (also know as “That evil prick!” by some select few), was in a very strange place. He could vaguely remember something happening; things had not gone according to plan. In fact, things had gone so far away from “as planned” that he had no idea what the hell to call it.

“I was supposed to be god of the New World. Not stuck in limbo” he muttered as he looked around.

For as far as the eye could see there was nothingness. Just an empty white background.

Then a chair appeared.

“Eh? What is this?”

Cautiously, Light walked over to the chair. After inspecting it, and testing it for booby traps (not that he was quite sure why someone would booby-trap a chair in the middle of nowhere), he sat down in it.

“E-Excuse me, th-that is my chair,” a voice said from behind him.

Light turned around; there was a kid with brown hair standing behind him. The boy looked like a wimp, and judging from the way he was talking, Light was pretty sure the kid was a wimp too.

“No. This is my chair. You have no chair,” Light said as he turned back around.

It was too bad that he no longer had the Death Note. Although, he guessed that killing some wimpy kid in the middle of Limbo would not help improve his karma.

“No, you see. I need that chair. I have to use it,” the kid said again, and this time he walked around so that he was standing in front of Light.

The kid was dressed in a white shirt and brown pants; he looked like a school student. There was just something about him that was beginning to annoy the hell out of Light.

“What could a person like you possibly need with this chair? You look like you need a toilet,” Light said, and that psychotic grin once again appeared on his face. Even without the Death Note, he could still kill with his words.

“I-I can’t reach my epiphany if I can’t sit in that chair,” the boy whined.

Since the boy’s voice was beginning to hurt his ears he got out the chair. The kid promptly sat down and began muttering to himself. Something about how he was his own person, and how the world wasn’t so bad.

It was obvious to Light that this kid was out of his mind.

“Congratulations!”

Light jumped, just where the hell had that redhead appeared from? Then a blue haired girl appeared. And an older woman this time. Then a couple. Then some guys. All of them were saying the same thing.

“Congratulations!”

They surrounded the kid, began clapping, and then vanished without a trace, leaving the seat empty once again.

‘Wow, maybe if I sit in there I’ll get congratulated too,’ Light thought as he sat down in the chair.

What he got was not a chorus of congratulations, but a pissed off guy with a wicked looking scar on his face choking the hell out of him.

“You son of a bitch! You killed me!” Mello screamed as he tightened his hands around Light’s neck.

“I always knew you were Kira,” L said, now standing straight and looking less like a deformed monkey.

“Kami-sama! Oh Kami-sama forgive me for doubting you,” Mikami said as he rubbed his cheek against Light’s thigh.

“Do burn scars make me look attractive?” Takada asked as she posed a little bit.

“So this is what happens to those that use the Death Note,” Near remarked as he looked around and watched the growing spectacle.

“Eh? But you’re not dead,” Ryuk said, confused to see the living amongst the dead.

“I know. But I am special. I have super powers,” Near said, and then went back to watching the spectacle.