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Unequally Rational and Emotional	By : OverMaster Category: +M to R > Mahou Sensei Negima/Magister Negi Magi Views: 8848 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Mahou Sensei Negima, all other works of fiction featured here, and related characters, don't belong to me. Neither do I make any money out of this.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Mahou Sensei Negima and all related elements and characters are the property and creation of Ken Akamatsu, and the author of this piece has made no material profit from it, and never will do.

All other characters mentioned also belong to their respective copyright holders.

Any similarity between the characters and events of this story and anyone or anything ever actually seen in real life is a pure coincidence.

Again, a lot of thanks to all my reviewers and contributors here and at the message boards I frequent. You guys and gals just rule.

Hellsender- Yes, indeed. That black kitty was the one from Azumanga Daioh. Glad to see someone catching on it.

UNEQUALLY RATIONAL AND EMOTIONAL-CHAPTER NINE.

Act One:

For Negi, it was a moment of infinite joy.

For Chisame, it was a moment of infinite terror.

For everyone else, it was seeing a smoking white weasel at a computer, on top of a mountain of underwear.

"Chamo...!" the teacher ran to grab the animal in a tight, heartfelt hug, squeezing it against his chest. "It's been such a long, long time...!".

"My dear Bro!" the weasel cried back. "You have grown so much...!"

Chisame just pushed them aside and yelled while looking at her computer. "My webpage! You were browsing through my webpage!" she voiced her despair, completely forgetting Misora and Chachamaru were there as well.

"Huh?" the furry thing looked back at her. "It was bookmarked, so I didn't see any problem with it!".

"YOU SEE NO PROBLEM WITH TURNING A STRANGER'S COMPUTER ON AND THEN— Oh my God" she clutched her face between her hands. "I'm talking to a white giant rat. And the rat is TALKING BACK TO ME!".

"That's such a rude thing to say!" the small mammal sounded offended. "A rat? Me? Miss, I'll inform you I'm Albert Chamomille the Third, a noble descendant of the mythical Caith Sith ermines! I'm also the Bro here's best and closest confidante, so you'd better—".

"You're a peeper and a panty thief!" Chisame growled, grabbing him by the throat, yanking him away from Negi and throttling him. "Where did you get all this underwear, you... you sicko hallucination!"

"ANIMAL ABUSE...!" the critter managed to yell for dear life.

"Hasegawa-san, please, let him go!" Negi tried to intervene. "You're going to hurt him!"

Misora, meanwhile, took advantage of Chisame's distraction to walk over to the computer and look at it. "So, you have a webpage, huh? This is what keeps you locked here all day long?".

"KYA!" Moved by panic, Chisame let Chamo fall down to the floor with a heavy thud, then stepped in between Kasuga and the PC. "Don't look! It's nothing of your business!".

"Ehhhh?" Misora was perplexed. "What's the big deal? You don't make porn, do you?".

"O-OF COURSE I DON'T!".

"You should. You have the shape for it" the ermine said from the floor.

Chisame stomped on him a few times. "You shut up like a normal animal would!".

Chamo laughed between brief yelps of pain punctuated by each stomp. "So! Ow! Worth! Ouch! It! Ooof!".

Hasegawa then realized he was looking up her skirt. With her face bright red, she kicked him against a wall. "Just die already!".

Negi knelt down in tears next to the tiny bleeding figure. "Chamo..." he sobbed. "Don't die...".

"I have just witnessed Eden..." Chamo spoke up with a suddenly deep and manly husky voice, his head tilting aside. "I can perish happily now...".

Five minutes later, however, he was perfectly okay now, sitting on top of the coffe table and laughing happily at the small group gathered around him.

"As soon as I learned the Bro was going to leave Wales, I knew I had to go after him, no matter if he went to the end of the world!" he narrated. "Sadly, I didn't arrive in time to come with him, but I managed to learn of your ultimate destination thanks to my amazing information compiling skills, Bro!".

"You hid into Anya's underwear drawer and spied on her again, didn't you?" Negi asked, not really annoyed, simply curious.

"Well, heh heh, it's a tried and true strategy..." the ermine excused himself.

"Where did you and Sensei first meet?" Satomi inquired. "I have a hard time imagining any common interest between the two of you".

"Oh, it happened five years ago, at the hills of our homeland" the mammal reminisced. "Somehow, despite my incredible skills at surviving in the wilderness, I was caught into a bear trap set up by a cruel and vile poacher...".

"Actually, it was our tutor at the time. He wanted to catch whoever was stealing the undergarments of the village's girls" the young boy pointed out.

"He still was cruel and vile!" Chamo protested. "Anyway, the Bro set me free, and he even fixed my broken leg with a healing spell! He also took a harsh punishment for letting me go!" he cried.

"It was only a light slap on the head..." Negi laughed it off.

"Ever since, I took an oath of honor to help my Brother to become a Magister Magi as great as his father! Maybe you mundanes don't know it, but the Magister Magi is the highest rank an aspiring mage can reach! And it can't be attained without the help of a good partner like me!" the ermine boasted.

"You have stolen all this lingerie from underage schoolgirls" Chisame dryly said while holding a rather racy pair of panties up. "Do you expect us to believe you have any honor to place oaths onto?". She paused. "By the way, where did you get these ones?".

"Next door" Chamo simply replied.

"Next door?" Chisame's face betrayed shock. "No way these may belong to Miyazaki, so...".

Misora let a whistling out. "Never expected it from Yue-chan, either".

"That... That doesn't matter!" Chisame slammed a hand on the table, her face red. "What if someone finds all of this here? We'll be branded as perverts! We'll never live it down!".

Satomi held a match up. "What if we burn the evidence down?".

"That's it! What a great idea!" Hasegawa nodded.

"No, my precious innocent dearies no!" the critter yelled. "It's not their fault!".

Negi casted a confused glare on him. "I'll never understand that strange hobby of yours, Chamo...".

"Oh, you will, Bro" the ermine confided him. "Believe me, sooner or later, you will. By the way, are these girls your Pactio partners? I'm impressed! Little more than a week here, and you already got four of them!".

"Ch-Chamo!" Negi blushed. "Of course they aren't! Don't joke about that!".

Chisame had a bad feeling as she saw the boy, and even Misora, blushing. "What's a Pactio partner? And what's the embarrassing deal about it?".

She wasn't sure she wanted to know, but she figured remaining ignorant could prove to be even worse.

Act Two:

Chamo sat back, smiled a little snug ermine smirk, and began his explanation.

"The word 'Pactio' is Latin for 'Alliance'. It's the union of a Mage and a Partner to become companions in battle" he said. "Traditionally, wizards need someone to help them while they cast their spells... to protect their backs and such. The partner subordinated to the mage is called the Minister Magi, and normally plays a Paladin or Knight role to support the mage's actions. Are you following me?".

"I already knew all that" Misora said.

"Me as well" Chachamaru nodded.

"Chao had told me a few details on the matter" Satomi reminisced.

Chisame sweated. "Am I the only person at the class who has led a normal life until now?".

"Then pay attention, Ignorant-Sis" the ermine scolded her. "In exchange for their services as the guardians and protectors of the magic users, the Ministers receive a boost of magic power from their masters. It increases their bodies' strenght, agility and speed! Their stamina grows, as well as their mental endurance! And best of all, every Minister gets a special Artifact that allows them to use magical abilities of their own! Such abilities are usually born out of the Minister's subconscious mind, and thus, the Artifact generally matches the Minister's personality".

"No way" Hasegawa denied.

"Yes, way!" Chamo insisted. "A long, long way, actually!".

"Okay. And how is that fantastic alliance established?" Chisame moaned. "Through a signed contract with two leprechauns and a Fairy Godmother as witnesses?".

Negi blushed again and stammered. "U-Um, not that way, actually. It's... somewhat complex to explain—".

"Complex, nuthin'!" Chamo laughed. "The Magister and the Minister simply have to kiss each other!".

Chisame choked on her own saliva. "A-A-A KISS?".

"Well, yeah" the animal was unfettered. "If they don't like each other enough to share a kiss, then how could they hope to protect each other's lives? The link between Minister and Magister must be very deep and strong. There are a few other ways to establish a Pactio, yeah, but they are too bothersome, and almost no one uses them nowadays".

"But that's the Provisional Pactio, isn't it?" Hakase seemed to remember. "Chao once mentioned there was another kind of Pactio, one deeper and more powerful than the one established through a kiss".

"Ah, yes, the Permanent Pactio. It acts as a definitive union between Magister and Minister, but the Bro's still too young to even consider that" the ermine answered. "You can do several Provisional Pactios at the same time with no problem, but only Magister Magi of a really high level can establish two or more Permanent Pactios at the same time. It happens, however. Ever heard of King Solomon? The legends of the Magical World say he achieved such a knowledge of the arcane arts he managed to amass a whole harem— I mean, team— of Permanent Ministra. Afterwards, he founded the basis for the current Magician's Society Goetia, and he—".

"Stop the history lesson right now!" Chisame shouted. "If a Provisional Pactio is achieved through a kiss, then how do you get a Permanent Pactio?".

"Well..." Chamo seemed uneasy as his friend and Misora looked even more awkward, "I... I'll explain it to you when you're older...".

Chisame slumped back down. "I knew it. Then it's like dating compared to getting married, isn't it?".

"A very astute observation, Chiu-chan!" the critter nodded quickly. "As a matter of fact, yes, many Minister and Magister end up marrying each other! That's why usually the pairings are between a female and a male, although there can be any sorts of variations on it".

She stared daggers at him. "Never call me 'Chiu-chan' again if you value your life! And now I'm even more sure Sensei doesn't need to think of such things yet! Don't tell me that's the only reason why you came all the way here!".

Chamo seemed offended. "Do you think I would be here only to push an agenda upon you, Bro?". He turned some huge Bambi eyes up at Negi.

"Of course not, Chamo!" the brat heartfully replied, annoying Chisame even more.

Misora sighed, then looked at the window. "It's getting late" she noticed.

"Well, go back home then" Chisame humphed.

"No way I'm going out into the night again as long as Evangeline is out there hunting" the shorter girl cringed.

"But you can't leave your friend Cocone alone all night long, either" Negi pointed out. "I can escort you home if you want...".

"No need for that, Sensei!" she laughed. "I'll just call her and tell her to go sleep with the next door neighbor. She never makes any questions; I used to send Cocone-chan with her whenever I slept over at Yuuna's".

"Don't reject the chance, Bro..." Chao whispered, chuckling as he playfully elbowed the boy's chest. "Sleeping in the same room as four pretty girls! Someday, you'll look back at this night and think—".

A book thrown at his face silenced him.

Chisame was just as surprised herself as the others she hadn't been the one to toss the tome. She looked at Satomi with wide perplexed pupils. "Hakase...?".

There was the slightest fade of pinkish red over the scientist's cheeks. "My hand slipped. Sorry".

Act Three:

Hakase Satomi woke up with a start shortly after midnight.

She had been having that kind of dreams again. She had not had them for months now; she thought she was over them by then. And yet, they had just returned.

It was the ermine's fault. He and his dirty talking about nonsense like lust and romance. Satomi sat up on the bed grumbling to herself, feeling strangely hot and bothered, as she had not felt for so long. She knew she couldn't get to sleep again until she took charge of her annoying mounted up tension.

The last thing she needed in her life was being reminded of Kazuya-sempai.

It had been a stupid girlie crush, the kind of thing she was supposed to be above of. She would be mortified if anyone knew about it; she suspected Chao and Chisame did know, but neither of them would ever talk about it, and she preferred it that way. No matter what, she had to leave that alone, forgotten and buried.

And yet, the need was there again. It needed to be dispatched away and quickly.

Her eyes wandered into the darkness until they found Chachamaru, sitting quietly next to Negi-sensei's futon, with the sleeping child's head resting on her lap.

"Chachamaru" her creator whispered.

"Yes?" her creation whispered back.

"I... I... I will be at the toilet for, um, a substantial amount of time" Satomi took extra efforts to keep her own voice barely audible. "If anyone should attempt to enter there during that period, you are authorized to stop them at any and all costs. Especially the ermine".

"Understood" the robot said softly. She looked at the drawer where the animal slept like a log, on top of a comfy bed made of stolen underwear.

Satomi nodded while standing up and heading for the bathroom's door. She may not have known the first thing about popular sexual lingo and innuendo, but she was well read, and academically, she was well familiarized with the mechanics of the exercise she was about to engage into.

Not to mention, well, she had the practice of all those months ago.

Stupid Kazuya-sempai.

He never had even noticed her.

It hurt now, like an old wound that had just reopened.

Hakase slammed the door closed after herself.

At the upper bunk of the bed, Misora's eyes were fully open. She did not move at all, but her mind raced faster than her feet at any day at the track. Had she just been woken up by the sounds of Hakase Satomi actually going to do what she thought she was going to do? Or was she still dreaming? Nah, she had to be dreaming. No way the Prof could—

On second thought, maybe it was better if she wasn't dreaming it. Because if she dreamed about the mere notion of Hakase doing that, what did that say about herself?

It was bad enough she was sharing a bed with Hasegawa Chisame of all people. Actually, it had not been that bad at first; Chisame slept quietly and was not the type that rolled around. But now that Hakase had made those small noises, that seemed to have pushed her roommmate to the brink of waking up.

"Nnnh" Chisame mumbled sleepily, feeling someone near her, forgetting all about going to sleep with the young sister. "Sensei. Here again? Idiot".

Without any warning, the sleeping girl drove a fist into Misora's chin, and hard, making her to squeal under her breath. For someone who vegetated all day long before a computer, Chisame sure packed a mean punch!

And apparently she also half-heard Misora's choked mild sobbings of pain, because her face softened after it. "Mmghhh. No cry" the long haired girl mumbled. "No, moron. Sorry. Sorry".

Misora was surprised when the sleeping schoolgirl put her hands on her shoulders, vaguely pulling her towards herself, allowing her chin to rest on her left shoulder. Kasuga was starting to get a truly bizarre, but probably accurate, idea of Negi-kun and Chisame's recent sleeping habits.

And yet, it felt warm and comfortable.

Misora relaxed herself in Chisame's loose sisterly embrace, smiling a little. She closed her eyes slowly and allowed herself to drift off into sleep.

Act Four:

"So, Eva's not coming today again, huh?" Misa asked as she eyed the empty seat.

"Rumor is Chachamaru left her and moved in with Negi-sensei, Prof and Chi-chan" Kazumi giggled with a wink and a nod. "Who knows what went on there!"

Asuna perked up a bit, distracted from her morning sleepy stupor. "She did?"

"That's what my sources have told me" the reporter answered.

"Maybe she's just staying there for maintenance" Madoka theorized. "Hey, Chao, do you know something about it?"

The Chinese girl shook her head. "Can't say I've been told-yo" she said. "I'll ask Satomi after classes, ne?"

"Please stop that!" Ayaka, rather annoyed at what she was hearing, clapped her hands, standing up as she heard those small, already familiar to her, steps coming from the outside. "Everyone greet Sensei!"

The class obeyed as Negi walked in followed by Chisame, Hakase, Chachamaru and Misora. "Good morning, everyone!" he told them after they voiced their welcome. He acknowledged Sayo's presence with a brief nod into her direction, and the ghost smiled back gently. Only he and Misora could see her, as the ones who had performed the reveal spell on her, but she still was happy to have at least two people she could talk to now.

"Are Nodoka and Yue still on sick leave?" Kasuga asked while sitting down next to Ako.

"Yes, Haruna also took the day off to look after them" the nurse replied. "But Nodoka should rejoin tomorrow. She got nothing but a shock and a nervous crisis".

Negi sighed, opening his roster book to take notes on the day's absences. Chisame, meanwhile, sulked moodily at her own desk. First forced up to sleep with the brat, and now with the nun. Waking up to find her hugging her in her sleep had been rather disturbing, even if Misora had just laughed it off and passed it off as nothing.

"Any news on Mc Dowell-san?" he asked.

"Wouldn't you know-de gozaru?" Kaede asked curiously.

"More specifically, wouldn't Chachamaru-chan know?" Fuuka gave the robot an inquisitive glare.

The gynoid denied with her head, sedately, her head a bit low. Negi couldn't help but feeling bad about her. The class' eyes were set on her, as if trying to silently pry a direct answer from her. Ayaka in particular seemed to be very antsy and touchy on the matter of her recent living developments.

"W-Well, I'll visit her after classes to see how she is doing, okay?" he said, with a shaky short laugh of reinsurance. Chachamaru actually seemed to perk up at that, to some degree, but Misora, Chisame and Hakase all made faces that seemed to shout 'BAD IDEA! BAD IDEA!'. Unfortunately for them, he was oblivious as he opened his textbook. "Well, now, let's check the exercises on Page 42..."

And so, they were there, late that afternoon, at the doors of a small cottage at the Northern Mahora woods. Misora had quickly excused herself saying she had things to do at the church, but Satomi had stubbornly insisted on coming with Chachamaru even if it meant missing another meeting of the Jet Propulsion Club. Chisame had been torn between following and heading back home for another session of being Chiu, but at the end she had stupidly decided to come along. She still was berating herself as Negi warily knocked at the door.

"Hello...?" he shyly said. "Mc Do— Evangeline-san? It's me, Negi-sensei. We were... worried about you. We've brought Chachamaru-san..."

There was no reply.

"No one's here" Chisame grumbled. "Maybe she's out sucking bunnies dry or something. Let's go back home".

"No" Chachamaru touched the door. "My scanning of our residence shows her biosignature inside. It feels faint and weak, however. She is sick. We must enter".

"Okay. Fine" Satomi sighed. "Did you happen to bring any keys?".

"I am a key" Chachamaru calmly produced a key that sprang off the tip of her right index finger.

Hakase blinked. "I didn't install that into you!".

"The Master and Chao-san did it" the robot said as she opened the door and walked inside.

"How could they do that without informing me?" Satomi exclaimed. "And why didn't you report it to me, either?".

But they were ignoring her, Negi and Chachamaru entering the house, Chisame following in after a few moments of hesitation. Hakase sputtered to herself for a second, ballying her hands up into fists, before finally going after them, closing the door behind herself.

Was this how Chisame felt all the time?

Act Five:

The three youngsters walking behind Chachamaru paused and gasped in awe of their surroundings. The living room of the cottage was lovingly decorated like a fairytale scene, complete with dozens and dozens of dolls and stuffed animals lined up on several shelves.

"It doesn't exactly look like the hideout of a bloodthirsty fiend" Hakase observed, pushing her glasses up.

"I guess it doesn't" Chisame kept staring at several of the dolls, getting tons and tons of ideas for new Chiu costumes. "I suppose this is your personal touch, Chachamaru?".

"No, all of this was brought in by the Master herself" the robot passed a finger over the back of a chair, examining the fine layer of dust on it. "But she hasn't cleaned up. She isn't used to do it herself".

"It's all really pretty" Negi marveled. "It feels much warmer and nicer here than I thought...".

"Who's there?" a muffled, wheezing and angry voice came from upstairs. The four of them looked up to see Evangeline standing at the top of the stairs leading to the upper floor, with her nose bright red, her eyes half closed, and wearing pink pajamas. She had several potion bottles clutched in her small hands. "Ah, it's you" she wheezed, forcing an evil smirk up. "On top of all the indignities you have piled up onto me, now you dare to invade my home...".

"We aren't here to fight, Mc Do— Evangeline-san" Negi stumbled with his treatment of her once again. "We were concerned about uour wellbeing, especially Chachamaru-san. We simply wanted to know if you were okay...".

"You? Worried about me? HAH!" the vampiress laughed dryly. "Why should you be? What sort of pathetic attempt is this? You can't fool me, not after centuries of experience... Where's Kasuga? Was she too cowardly to come? It doesn't matter, I always can catch her later...".

"D-Don't say such things!" Chisame stammered. "Is that any way to be thankful? It's absurd to keep on fighting when we all are classmates...".

Eva flexed her fingers and shook her head. "No. This won't be a fight" she coughed. "It's only a witch twisting the necks of three chickens and a dirty traitor doll. Hardly a fight at all...".

Satomi rolled her eyes around. "Yes, sure. Like you matched up to Chachamaru's strenght so well last time..."

"SILENCE!" Evangeline yelled. "Even without my magical power, I still can destroy the lot of you having the home advantage...".

"Evangeline-san, please" Negi all but begged. "Stop these hostilities and go back to classes like a good student after you've recovered... Stop being mean to your classmates and skipping classes, or you will have to repeat the term..."

"YOU DOLT!" the blonde screamed. "EVEN IF I ATTENDED CLASSES, MY CURSE WOULDN'T ALLOW ME TO GRADUATE!"

"Master, you should be in your bed" Chachamaru said. "You know you get too weak when you fall ill...".

"Weak? Me? PAH!" she gave a step forward. "Let's settle this once and for all! Only then I'll feel better!".

The teacher stepped in front of his human students, determined to protect them, taking a firm hold of his staff. "If I defeat you, will you stop attacking your peers?".

"I have no peers" Eva sneezed loudly, her next step wobbling. "No peers— No equals— No—".

Her evil smile faltered, her eyes went blank, and she fainted forward down a few steps, like a limp doll.

"GAH! EVANGELINE-SAN!" Negi shouted.

"Master!" Chachamaru ran to her side despite Satomi's unregistered warnings, picking the small undead up in her arms. "Sensei, she is under a severe fever. This season often harms her body defenses. Please help me to carry her to her bed".

"Y-yes, of course!" he quickly rushed to join them.

"What kind of vampire falls sick and feverish?" Chisame asked, disbelieving.

"Due to the seal on her powers, the Master is only a normal ten years old child, in terms of immunity and health" the robot explained as she and Negi took the house's owner to her bedroom, a nice and cozy place fully decorated on pink and black. They placed her on a large and soft bed with rich, expensive sheets and covers. "She couldn't be a threat to anyone for now".

"Oh, no?" Satomi asked, following them into the room with Hasegawa.

Chachamaru was reviewing the room's medicine cabinet now. "No. And she already emptied her medicines. She does that when she is left to her own devices. She simply consumes everything she thinks could help her".

"She really looks to be in a rather sorry state" Satomi pondered.

"Maybe she caught a cold when you stripped her down that night, Sensei" Chachamaru passively stated.

"I-I-I'm very sorry!" he seemed on the verge of tears.

"It's... okay" the gynoid said. "But please, could you look after her while I go to buy more medicines? I also must feed the cats..."

"Do you expect us to stay alone here with HER?" Chisame squealed.

"She won't harm you under the present conditions, I promise" Karakuri replied.

Hakase sighed. "Very well, very well, you have my authorization to go. We will look after Eva-san".

"DON'T DECIDE THAT FOR THE REST OF US!" Chisame protested.

"I'll stay, too" Negi nodded firmly. He smiled at the two girls. "Thanks for your generous assistance, Hasegawa-san, Hakase-san".

"I still... haven't said..." Chisame's voice trailed off. "Oh, forget it".

"I will be back shortly. You have my eternal gratitude" Chachamaru was as polite as ever as she bowed to them and left.

Once they were alone, Chisame just grabbed one of Negi's ears, one of Satomi's ears, and tugged on both at them at once, as hard as she could. All the while keeping a stony, dead serious expression.

Act Six:

They had been sitting silently around the bed for a few minutes now.

Negi simply twiddled his fingers around uneasily, briefly touching Eva's forehead to control her temperature at random intervals. Satomi had taken a book dealing on the mechanics of magic from one of the room's shelves and was flipping through it to see if it had any application to her research. Chisame was just using her laptop to reply to a few e-mails from her fans.

Then the small blonde moaned. "Thirsty..." she kept her eyes closed. "I'm thirsty...".

"AH!" Negi stood up immediately. "I'll bring you some water!".

He ran outside and returned moments later with a glass full of icy water. However, the vampiress rejected it by shaking her head as soon as she felt it near her face. "No... Not that...".

"Then what?" Negi eagerly asked. "Tea? Soda? Juice?".

He had his reply when the little girl chomped the air aggressively, trying to reach for his fingers.

"Still hasn't changed her tune at all" Chisame groaned, even as Eva coughed loudly.

"Sensei, you told us she has a need to drink YOUR blood to disrupt her curse, didn't you?" Hakase pondered.

"Yes. Why?" he blinked.

Satomi sighed. "Then you'd better not supply her with any of it. I'll do it instead".

"What?" Chisame widened her eyes. "You can't be serious".

"It could be an interesting experience. I have never had a chance to investigate on a vampire's feeding habits" the scientist flatly replied, pulling two fingers into Evangeline's mouth. Not missing her chance, Eva bit on them at once, making Hakase to yelp, much to her roommates' panic. However, she calmed them down with a gesture. "Relax, please. It's... okay, I suppose. It's just like taking a sample of your own blood" she bit her own lower lip as she watched the blonde hungrily sucking her fingers, until she opened her mouth and allowed them to slip off leaving a thin trail of red.

"If you become Dracula and try to bite me at night, I'll stake you" Hasegawa had to warn.

"She won't be turned after losing so little blood" Negi pulled a few bandages out and carefully, lovingly, wrapped Satomi's bite marks with them, making her to blush just a bit. Fortunately, he was too busy looking at her hands to notice the change on her face. Chisame, however, did notice, but remained mum on it.

"Uh... I feel hot..." Evangeline gurgled sleepily, turning around at a side, facing away from the window.

"Oh, of course! The sunlight!" Negi jumped up again, running to the window and closing the curtains, leaving the sunset's lights out.

But then the small girl shuddered, curling up into a ball. "Aaahh— C-cold...".

Chisame took a wary grip of her pajamas. "She's soaked on sweat!".

"Sweating the fever up, I see" Satomi noticed. "Sensei, would you leave the room? We are going to need to change her garments up".

"O-Of course!" he nodded before bolting out of the bedroom, closing the door behind himself.

He breathed deeply easing his back against the door, attempting to collect his thoughts. But then the girls' voices from inside distracted him.

"Okay, lift a leg, now the other... That's it, I'm pulling her pants down...".

"Oh, for the love of Pythagoras! What kind of underwear is that!".

"No joke! It's a freaking thong!".

"And see-through!".

"It doesn't suit her at all".

"Well, personality-wise, it might, from what we have learned about her recently. But even so…"

"Let's see if we can find something better for her... Oh God, all these drawers have nothing but even worse stuff! And what the hell is this thing? GAH, IT'S VIBRATING!".

Negi's face had become as red as a tomato by then. Even if he had not a complete idea of why, actually.

Finally, Chisame poked her head out of the bedroom and gestured for him to come back in. "We're done" she said. "The Sleeping Beauty is doing like a log again".

"Oh" Negi walked in stepping soft and silently, retaking his seat between both of his roommates. "Thanks for your help" he quietly spoke.

Evangeline was now wearing baby blue pajamas decorated with several tiny ribbons, laying on her back and sleeping like a baby. She looked extraordinarily cute and harmless, with her small mouth half open making the most diminutive wheezing sounds.

He didn't notice he had kept on staring at her until he caught on Chisame's disapproving glare. "S-sorry" he looked aside.

"Don't let her appearance to fool you" the brown haired teen lectured. "Cute as she may be, she's still an implacable enemy, and I doubt she'll be thankful".

"Hmmm" Satomi kept her nose buried back into the book she was examining. "You know, I never had really thought about it, but now I do wonder about the exact circumstances of her vampiric nature".

"What do you mean?" Chisame asked her.

"Well, it's simply she lacks any of the weaknesses the folklore assigns to vampires. She doesn't burn under the sunlight, she has no need for sleeping at a coffin with dirt from her homeland. She goes to swimming classes, so water is not an issue to her, either. I have seen her wearing silver accessories, and from what Sensei told us, Misora's cross had no effect on her".

"She might have overcome those weaknesses through her witchcraft" Negi observed.

"Ah, yes. When she was attacking the librarians, she told us she knew your father, didn't she?" Chisame remembered. "Was she some sort of rival for him?".

"I don't know..." the teacher lamented. "I don't know as much about my father as I'd like...".

"It's a shame" Hakase mused. "If only she were more cooperative, I could learn a lot about her scientific condition, and you about your father".

Negi perked up. "That's it. I think there may be a way!".

"Huh?" Chisame frowned.

He immediately sulked down. "But I don't know if it's the right thing to do...".

"What is it?" Satomi was curious now.

"Well, I... I thought of using a special spell to look into her memories, but that would be unethical to do without her consent...".

"Let's do it!" Hakase enthused.

"Whuh?" Negi and Hasegawa chorused.

"Sensei, learning knows of no moral bounds, and no self imposed barriers should stand in the way of our discoveries!" Satomi put a hand over her own flat chest. "I'm sure the future will forgive you! Almost any taboo is worth breaking for the sake of enlightenment for the future generations!". She grabbed him by the shoulders, her eyes sparkling madly now.

"Oh no, I'm rooming with Dr. Mengele!" Chisame gasped.

"Um... Well..." Negi sweated. "I'm sure Evangeline-san won't be hurt...".

His mind made up, he grabbed his staff and held it up above Eva's sleeping body. He twirled it around, until it floated by itself over the bed much to Chisame's awe and shock, glowing with a faint yellow light.

He gulped as well. It felt horribly wrong, but if it was the only way to learn more about his father...

"Rastel Maskil Magister..." he chanted. "Nympha Somni Regina Maeve...".

Recognizing the words in Latin, Satomi asked, "It is some species of attempt to delve into her dreams, isn't it? Can we take a look with you?".

After a brief moment of doubt, Negi nodded, extending a hand to her. Hakase grabbed it quickly, then grabbed Chisame's right hand in turn without allowing her to protest.

"Portam Aperiens Ad Se Me Alliciat" the boy finished, and then a blinding white light filled Chisame's eyes.

When she regained her eyesight a moment later, the first thing she noticed was a burning need to kill Hakase.

Then, she noticed she was fully naked except for her glasses.

Then, even more of an urge to kill Hakase.

Afterwards, she saw Negi and Satomi also there, as naked as herself (again, save the glasses), although their bodies were rather featureless with no visible nipples or genitals.

Even so, the urge to throttle Hakase had not departed.

"Why... WHY ARE WE ALL OF A SUDDEN NAKED IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE?" Chisame yelled as loud as she could, while covering her own featureless crotch and breasts with her hands.

"EEEEEEE! I'M SORRY!" Negi cried. "No one can travel into the psychic plane while keeping their clothes! If it makes you feel any better, these aren't our real bodies, but astral projections of ourselves! We are still sitting around Evangeline-san's bed!".

"What is there to be embarrassed about?" Satomi patted herself on her non descript private areas. "No actual sexual organs are shown at all here".

"It's still creepy!" Chisame huffed. "Our faces are fully detailed, even including our glasses, but our bodies are those of Barbie dolls?".

Negi looked away, blushing. "W-well... If you prefer it so, I might modify the spell so we are more anatomically correct...".

"No, thanks" Chisame quickly replied. She looked all around herself; they seemed to be at some sort of distant and peaceful beach of white sands, and there were only two lonely human figures in the horizon. "I guess no one can see us here, right?".

"Right" Negi nodded.

Hasegawa pointed towards both figures. "Well, then let's go there. It's the only place where you can see anyone, so I think it has to be where Evangeline's memories must be happening".

"Brilliant deduction, Hasegawa-san!" the child brightened, running that way eagerly, with Satomi following him closely.

As she watched them, Chisame cringed. Featureless as their fronts were, their lower backsides still were fully detailed. And no doubt, her own would be, too.

For a moment, she could do nothing but looking at them despite her own reservations, kind of admitting to some unconscious degree Sensei's cute and flat kiddie bottom was actually mostly pretty to look at. As well as Satomi's perky and round, small and pale buttcheeks.

With a moan of shame, she covered her butt with both hands and reluctantly walked, very slowly, after them, hanging her head down and dragging her feet through the sand.

Act Seven:

Now they were close enough, the three of them could see a tall, busty, buxom and curvy woman with long golden hair wearing a slinky black dress, with long gloves and high heels. She was gorgeous, but her face sneered with nothing but malice and cruelty. Next to her, and only visible from a close distance, there stood a tiny doll with green hair, somewhat similar to a miniature version of Chachamaru, with a creepy glare on its shiny pupils, and a huge sharp knife in each hand.

They faced a tall and mysterious stranger wearing a long gray robe, with a hood covering his face. Negi's heart, however, jumped at seeing the staff the man was holding.

It was his very own bandaged staff.

"Is that Evangeline's mother?" Hakase blinked.

"I think so" Chisame replied. "But why does that Muppet look like Chachamaru? I thought you had designed her".

"Hmmm. To be honest, Evangeline gave me a few basic outlines of her physical parameters" Satomi admitted. "She told me she wanted her servant to have green hair, for instance. Maybe she used to play with that doll when she was a child, so she wanted a reminder from those times".

"She played with a doll armed with knives?" Chisame seemed unconvinced, but paused right afterwards. "On the other hand, we're talking about Evangeline. I can buy it".

"Thousand Master" the temptress was saying, her voice husky and threatening, her mouth half open in a dangerous smile. "Finally, after so many months of pursuit, I have found you at this miserable island. An unusual choice of sorts for your final resting place, but it doesn't matter".

The blonde tightened a fist, "Tonight I will finally make you pay for your deceptions. Yes, I will crush you down like the insect you are! And your blood, body and soul shall belong to me!".

"You tell 'im, Master!" the doll cackled with a shrill, manic squeaky voice. "Blood, blood, blood, flowing all around! Grab me a boat, I'll sail away on it!".

"Evangeline, the Master of Puppets" the man said in a low, masculine and low voice that almost made both girls to swoon despite themselves. They quickly noticed it, asking themselves what had just happened. "The Apostle of Destruction, the Tide of Evil, the Undying Sorceress. How many men have you tempted with your bewitching beauty? How many lives have you corrupted with your power? And yet, you insist on coming after the only one who can stop you...".

"No way" Chisame recoiled. "Is that supposed to be Evangeline herself?".

"It would seem she has suffered some sort of age regression" Satomi attempted to analyze. "Highly puzzling!".

Negi was too starstruck to add any comments.

The man had pulled his hood off, revealing an absolutely handsome, strikingly perfect face, neither brutish nor effeminate, the optimal point of what an average (and most above and below the average) woman would wish for in a man. Chisame found herself open mouthed, her heart beating a few skips faster. Even the normally absent to love Hakase was staring with wide eyes, a soft pink gliding over her cheeks again.

"It's... It's him!" Negi cheered up emotionally. "My father!"

"I advise you to quit this insane quest" Nagi Springfield had spoken ominously. "No matter what you are planning to do, you will not succeed".

"It's just like I had imagined him!" Negi jumped up and down in place. "A brave hero with no fear, the mightiest mage of all! This is the happiest day of my life!"

Flashback-Eva laughed bitterly. "What are you going to do, a lone mage without a Partner, against both of us? HAH! CHACHAZERO! ON HIM!" she commanded while charging ahead.

"ON HIM, THROUGH HIM, ALL OVER HIS CHOPPED PARTS!" the doll crazily sing-sang following Evangeline at a speed that was rather surprising for something so small. "BLOOD AND GUTS, NO QUESTION, NO BUTS!"

However, The Hero did not seem bothered or concerned at all. He simply gave a step back, quietly examining the ground at his feet.

"You're too slow, boyo!" the vampiress grinned, reaching for him with a hand full of crimson fingernails. "Give yourself in at last! BE MINE!".

"DAD!" Negi attempted to run at them, just as Evangeline and the puppet closed in for the kill...

But right then, both of them fell into a huge sandtrap that had remained hidden at the ground until the woman set foot on it.

"Eh...?" Negi stopped in mid-step.

"GAHH!" Evangeline gasped for air, as she poked her head out of the sand. "What... What is the meaning of this?".

"It's a trap, Master!" the tiny homunculus struggled to drag herself out of the sand, her short arms proving to be quite unfitting for the task.

"I know that, you idiot!" the blonde shouted at her.

"Ah, ha ha ha ha!" Negi's father laughed from above. "If only they could see you now! What a joke! The terror of Mundus Vetus, reduced to a laughingstock in a hole! But let's spice this up, don't you think? Here, have a feast on my account!". With those words, he unloaded the content of a huge sack he had been keeping near to into the pit.

"What...?" Evangeline blinked several times, right before a storm of garlic and onions fell on her face and all over her body, nearly burying her under them. "NO! I hate those things! Stop it, you maniac!".

"Stop? Why should I?" he asked. "All children in mid-growth need this in their diets! Here, drink some soup as well!" He poured the contents of a huge cauldron he also had at hand at his makeshift camp into the hole, showering his attackers with a flood of smelly and hot garlic soup. "I was researching into your weaknesses, kid! And I don't like to study on anything, so you'd better believe I'm mad at you!"

Negi, Chisame and Hakase were all staring in stunned silence. Finally, the scientist asked, "Is this a standard procedure for a magical battle against the undead?"

"I... I don't know what to believe anymore..." their teacher meeped out weakly.

Act Eight:

"Hold on, Master!" the doll shrieked and shrilled flailing her arms around, splashing sand and soup everywhere around, only succeeding at burying herself even deeper into the muddy result. "I'll save you! And then we'll stab 'im in the face!".

"Agh! I can't!" Evangeline gasped for air, her breath becoming erratic. "Stop! You fiend!"

But the mysterious man just laughed at them, agitating the liquid with his staff. Until his prey couldn't take it anymore, and with a yell, her body shrank down to a petite size, the one the three visitors recognized as that of their vampirical acquaintance.

"It IS Evangeline after all!" Chisame said.

"We might be on the trail of the secret for eternal youth here!" Satomi's glasses fogged up with excitement. "I would be lauded as the greatest benefactor to mankind ever if I isolated that!".

"No, Master!" Chachazero was all but crying. "You have ran out of magical power!".

"Hah, ha ha ha!" Nagi laughed from above. "What will everyone say when they learn the queen of all vampires is nothing but a skinny brat? Here, eat more!" he bombarded her down with even more onions.

"I told you to stop it, cretin!" the now childish Evangeline wailed, her face deeply red. "You... You are a cheating coward! Aren't you the Master of a Thousand Deadly Spells! You should use them in battle! Like any mage with honor would!"

He stopped his laughter, sneering down at her. "Me? I'll pass! To be honest, I barely memorized more than half a dozen spells...I never was big on studying!"

Negi's jaw hit the floor.

Chisame looked at her teacher. "You already learned far more than that, didn't you?".

Hakase patted him on a shoulder. "Congratulations. You have surpassed him this early in your life".

"THAT ISN'T WHAT I WANTED TO SEE!" Negi practically bawled.

"What?" Evangeline was gulping.

"I left the magic academy because I didn't like those boring geezers and their tests" Nagi yawned carelessly. "What? You shocked, kiddo?"

Evangeline pouted. "I don't understand you, Thousand Master! Why to escape the chances to learn more about magic? With your raw power, you could be the next Sorcerer Supreme! And with me at your side, it would be even easier! Why do you keep on running away from me? Together, we could rule over all we can set our sights on!".

"Meh. I don't like flat chested children" the handsome mage made a disgusted face.

"A child? You fool! I'm more than 100 years old!" the vampiress screamed.

"A flat chested old mummy! Even worse!" the man seemed about to vomit.

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT ON MY FACE!" Mc Dowell howled.

"Keep a grip on yourself, Master!" Chachazero begged.

"Okay, enough of games" Nagi grew serious. "I'll let you go only if you promise to leave me alone and stop attacking innocents".

"NEVER!" Evangeline cringed her fangs defiantly.

"Oh, is that so?" the Thousand Master chuckled creepily. "Welllll, then I have no choice. I'll have to subject you to one of the most hideous spells ever created..."

"What?" Eva blinked, feeling a gigantic amount of energy flowing around the man. "What do you intend to—".

He had pulled a spell book out of somewhere and lazily read through it, "Ummm... Where was it... I think the old fool at Mahora needed a guardian or something... It should be around here... Ah, yes. Here. Man Man Terro Terro..."

If she had been asked later, Chisame couldn't have honestly said what the hell was said afterward since she didn't know a single word of Latin, but judging from Negi and Hakase's expressions, it had to be something horrible and very fearsome, enough to make even the Mc Dowell girl to waver in terror.

"It's the end, Master!" Chachazero was screaming.

"No, it can't be!" Evangeline still attempted to get away. "You are worse than a demon, Thousand Master! Mark my words! You will regret this day! You will—".

"INFERNUS SCHOLASTICUS!" he shouted, aiming his staff at her, blasting the Nosferatu with a flood of crackling and sparkling arcane energies, making her to yell and convulse frantically.

"NOOOOOOOO—".

"—OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Evangeline woke up sitting up with a start, panting madly, her eyes going from closed to fully open in an almost grotesque fashion in half a second. It was only after her scream died down she noticed she was at her own bedroom, on her bed, with Hasegawa and Hakase looking tired and sitting near her. "What? W-What are you two doing here?".

"Um, we were... not doing anything, actually. Just killing time until Chachamaru comes back" Chisame groaned, staring aside, determined to not saying anything about their recent trip.

"She went out to buy medication for you" Satomi informed. "It shouldn't take her long to come back".

"I feel fine now" Mc Dowell mumbled, before pointing down at the exhausted looking boy sleeping with his chin resting on her lap. "Take this thing off me, right at this instant".

"Huh?" Negi blinked, coming back to himself. "Eh? Oh, oh, s-sorry, Evangeline-san!" He quickly straightened up. "I guess I was too tired from the classes, and—".

The blonde waved a hand at him. "I don't care. I had some fever and a bad dream, that's all. I don't need your pity or care. But... you three showed some courage coming here, so... I will not dispose of you today" she huffed. "You'd better walk away with your lives while you can".

"You have a strange way to say 'thanks', but I'll accept it" Satomi stood up and bowed. "We will see you later".

"You can bet you will" Eva nodded slowly, but not really angry for now.

Chisame nodded as well, mechanically, starting to follow Negi and Satomi outside.

But then, the cottage's owner noticed the leftover energies around herself. She recognized the remains of the spell's pattern. And her voice grew deep and threatening again. "You tadpole..."

"Huh...?" Negi stopped abruptly, sweating very, very cold.

Eva stood up on the bed, her hair beginning to stand up around herself. "You little upstarts... What have YOU been doing to meeee...?".

Chachamaru was walking back through the peaceful woods with several full bags in her hands when she heard the screams coming from the cottage.

"I'LL SKIN YOU ALL ALIVE! I'LL HANG YOUR HEADS OVER MY CHIMNEY!"

"IT WASN'T MY IDEA! HAKASE IS THE ONE TO BLAME!".

"EVANGELINE, PLEASE LOWER THAT THING DOWN OR I'LL CONTACT THE LOCAL AUTHORITIES!"

"EVANGELINE-SAN, PLEASE, RECONSIDER! THESE ARE YOUR CLASSMATES!"

The robot mused to herself with a calmed, softly pleased voice. "Ah. Like I thought. They could make her to feel better..."

For a brief moment, she almost looked like she was smiling.

NEXT CHAPTER: The Ghost and the Shut-In!
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Unequally Rational and Emotional