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I Leave You, My Pride	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 5780 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
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Chapter 12
The Lioness and Her Master
Many Years Later … but only a few months in the Spirit World
Lucy fumbled with two knitting needles. "Like this?"
Aries had her own knitting in her lap, and she reached over to help the blond Lioness. "No, like this. Through there, over, and…"
Lucy dropped her stitch. "Oh shoot! I'll never get this scarf done before Erza's party."
Virgo walked forward. "Leader, I have taken the liberty of making a gift you may give to your friend." She pulled out from behind her back a gorgeous scarlet scarf made from shimmering silken yarn dotted with silver sparkles like stardust.
Lucy's mouth dropped. "How did you…? No, never mind." Somehow or another, Virgo always seemed capable of making anything. "I guess I just don't have talent in this."
"Oh, Leo," Aries giggled. "You're still just learning."
Lucy still inwardly flinched when someone called her that. She only heard that name here in the Spirit World. Back in Earthland, they called her Lucy. That was the name her mother and father gave her. Leo was the identity she had to assume as a punishment. Hearing that name always reminded her of the previous Leo.
… of Loke.
There were days when she still cried for him. She supposed that no amount of time would ever fully heal that wound. She would recall his smile, his voice, his flirtatious teases, the powerful gleam of his eyes that his blue shades barely held back, and those memories were like acid to her heart. She looked down to the rings on her fingers as she followed Aries' directions on picking up the stitch. The rings were dainty to match her petite hands, but she still thought of them as his rings.
All but one ring: a gold band on her left hand, with a diamond sparkling on top. It wasn't really a wedding ring, it had a few magical properties of its own that were useful when she fought enemies, but the sentiment was the same. The man she loved gave her that magic ring, slipping it on her finger while silently kissing her. His pledge of fidelity was in his heart. They did not need a ceremony, no need to break rules that separated the two dimensions. She had worn that diamond ring for months.
Or had it been for decades?
Just as she was thinking about that bond, there was a flash of gold in front of her, and an archway formed.
"Ah, gotta go," she said hurriedly, shoving the failed scarf aside. "Virgo, I'll use your scarf. Thank you so much."
"It was my honor, Leader," the Maiden said with a bow.
"Have fun, Leo!" Aries called out. Then Lucy passed through the gate and vanished. Aries let out a long sigh. "And off she goes again. It's just like how the old Leo was, spending all of his time in the Human World and never here."
"The Leo before Brother was the same," Virgo recalled. "It might be part of their nature."
"She's rarely in the Spirit World these days."
Virgo sat down and took up Lucy's knitting. It really was a mess. "Leader is punishing herself."
In walked Capricorn, carrying a tray of refreshments for the ladies. "Leo-sama knows full well that her time with Gray-sama is brief, a single lifetime, so she's doing all she can." He set the tray aside and gazed at the lingering magic of the Lion's Gate. "I admire her for that, and I truly admire Gray Fullbuster-sama. Despite the rules that separate us from Humans, he has stayed loyal to her all this time."
Aries pouted. "It's a tragic romance, though."
Capricorn had a secretive smile. "I don't think it'll be tragic for long."
In Earthland
Lucy felt the poisonous world around her. Magic was so concentrated in the Spirit World, it felt like this world leeched that richness out of her from the moment she entered. Even now, she had no clue how Loke survived here for years. She wanted to learn that secret, how to minimize the loss of her magic. That feat of his showed just how powerful he had been. She still had a long way to go.
And Time was not kind. Not here, in this world that sped past her.
The man before her had aged considerably. Gray was nearing sixty. His hair was more silver than black. Lines etched where both smiles and worries had marked his skin. Still, his body was strong, his eyes shined at seeing Lucy again, and the strength in the hug he gave her was the same as when they were mere teenagers.
"Lucy," he whispered as he kissed her cheek and nibbled his way down to a sensitive spot on her neck.
She loved when he said her name. Always, when he called her out, the first thing he did was say "Lucy." It greeted her. It was his way of saying "Welcome home." It was a name that cast aside the duties of being Leo the Lion. Here, she could be simply Lucy Heartfilia. That one word, her own name, reminded her of her humanity, of these people she loved so much, this world she was born into … a world and a life she had to leave behind to fulfill her duties.
When he pulled back and gazed at her, she saw the wistfulness in Gray's eyes. That look started about twenty years ago, when Gray's hair began turning silver. He was aging so fast, yet she still looked the same as ever. She knew he feared she would leave him, seek out someone younger, more handsome, a strapping young man, maybe one of the new members of Fairy Tail. Heaven knows there were many young wizards eying her every time she showed up at the guild.
However, in her mind, there was no man as handsome as Gray. She would tease that he aged like wine and only got sweeter over the years. She had to reaffirm her devotion every time she saw him. It was actually a little annoying. She wished he could just trust her, but then again, the position of Leo the Lion was known to be … promiscuous.
That was another one of Loke's legacies.
"Erza's promotion is today," he said as explanation for why he called her out.
Lucy pulled up the scarlet scarf. "I got a present, but I didn't wrap it."
"Lucy, it's gorgeous," he said in admiration, feeling the silky threads. She decided not to tell anyone that it was Virgo who knitted it. "You didn't have to do that. I bought a present for both of us."
"Erza's my friend. Of course I have to get her something."
"But you wouldn't have had much time."
That was true. It was two weeks ago that Gildarts announced his retirement and named Erza as the next guild master. In the Spirit World, that gave her only a few hours, and she failed to learn knitting in that time, let alone make something like a scarf.
"It's fine," she said brightly. "Let's put it in a gift bag. It doesn't have to be fancy."
He nodded and turned to find a suitable bag for the scarf. She saw those lines on his face grow deeper.
"Are you still angry?" she asked, approaching the subject cautiously. "I know you and Natsu wanted that position. You were fighting over it for months." More like she was fighting, along with Gray's ice magic. They had a nice combo that suppressed the Fire Dragon Slayer every time, much to Natsu's annoyance.
Gray's smile was sad but gentle. "Erza is best for the job. We all knew that since we were kids. I'm more afraid that Laxus is going to leave for good, though. He really thought he'd inherit the guild after Gildarts."
She went to the kitchen to make tea. "He's a bit busy with the Magic Council and Ten Wizard Saints, though."
"Yeah, which is why Gildarts picked Erza. Laxus has his hands full, and guild masters can't serve on the Magic Council. We need him there so Fairy Tail doesn't get into too much trouble."
Lucy tittered softly. "Is Natsu's son still on a rampage?"
"Oh God, you should have seen what that boy did last week," Gray groaned. "I swear, he's worse than his father."
"But he's just as cute," Lucy said with a laugh.
Gray had a gift bag in his hands, but he froze when she said that. "Just as cute, huh?" he muttered.
She looked around from the tea kettle and saw the tenseness in his brow. "Oh Gray," she sighed. "Don't. Don't start that."
"Why do you stay with me? After all this time…"
"Of course I stay beside you." She tried to laugh off the matter. "You're my master," she teased.
She saw that her usual joking answer did not work this time. Gray flopped onto a chair and glowered to the side. Lucy sighed, put the tea leaves into the kettle, and walked over to him. She sat in his lap and caressed his face.
"Of course I stay beside you," she repeated in a whisper of ardent loyalty. "You're my lover. I don't want anyone else. Ever."
"Forever is a long time for you," he grumbled.
"Believe me, I know that," she muttered with a bit of sadness. "Do you think I have time, or any desire, to want someone else when I see your life slipping past me so quickly? I want to see every second of your lifetime, Gray. Humans only get one chance in this world. I'm starting to really realize … just how brief and precious every Human life is," she said, stopping briefly as her emotions bubbled up. "I'm not going to squander our time together." She rubbed her nose against his as a tear dripped down her face. "Please believe me, Gray. Please … trust me."
His stormy blue eyes gazed up into her face. "You know I want to," he grumbled, quietly gritting his teeth, "but then I look in the mirror, and I wonder what you see of me. I'm almost sixty, Lucy. Even our love life is not how it used to be. I can't … as much anymore…"
"Gray," she hushed, caressing his cheeks and wishing she could ease his worries away.
He snapped at her, "What could you want with a body like this?"
Now her face took on an angry expression. "Do you think I want your body? I want your soul, Gray, and that will never age. Your soul is eternal. Your heart…" She placed her hand on his chest. "It's the same as when we were both young and wild. You still love me, right?"
"Of course I do," he professed earnestly.
"Then that's all I need. Your heart, your soul, and your love."
"But I can't give you love like I used to."
"Gray, don't." Lucy wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled into his neck. "You're more than enough, believe me. Even if you can only make love once a month, that's still three times a day for me. Any girl would be happy with a love life like that," she teased, nipping his ear. "Now really, stop wasting our time together by thinking I'm going to leave you. I won't, and that's final. A Leo is a very stubborn person, you know."
Gray laughed softly. "Don't I know it!" He kissed her, and she saw his worries fade away.
"I'll make tea, then we should head to the party." She rose and sashayed to the kitchen, knowing he was watching her ass as she walked.
This was their ritual. She came, he brooded, she reaffirmed her love, they kissed, and life could go on. She just wished he would stop worrying. Never once had she been disloyal. Even when Natsu's son began to flirt on her—and little Igneel really was handsome—she had no desire to fall for him. She had a man in her life, and she loved Gray more than he would ever realize.
They sipped tea and chatted about mundane things, including about how she had taken up knitting, learning from Aries (she still did not admit that the scarf was made by Virgo). Then they walked to the guild. It was a hot early-autumn day, and not even ten steps outside of his home, Gray's shirt went flying. Lucy picked it up, but she held onto it. This was another ritual of theirs. Gray's clothes came off; Lucy would retrieve them and hold onto them until someone complained.
Sure enough, some young girls cried out, "Eww, an old man walking around shirtless!"
That comment seemed to hit Gray harder than usual. An old man! He snatched his shirt away as Lucy handed it out to him, and he roughly tugged it back on.
"I bet that's his daughter," one of the girls whispered. "Oh my gawd, she must be so embarrassed. I'd be mortified, hanging around an old man like that."
Lucy felt like slapping those girls. They must have left an impact on Gray, because he did not undress anymore all the way to the guild hall.
Inside was a party to celebrate the new guild master of Fairy Tail, Erza Scarlet-Fernandes. She and Jellal smiled as the guild, and wizards of other guilds, celebrated her promotion. Lucy saw many old friends around. Hibiki and the other Trimens were there, and they gave their apologies that Master Ichiya could not make it since the ancient man threw out his back when he tried to spin a pirouette upon hearing that Erza was now a guild master like him. Bacchus was already drunk with Cana. Juvia and Lyon showed up like a king and queen. The elder ice wizard greeted Gray with a brotherly hug and a few jabs about looking old, to which Gray reminded Lyon that he was even older.
Yes, those seven years they lost were now a small blessing as the members of Fairy Tail looked so much younger than their friends.
Wendy and Romeo were trying to keep some control over the Exceed kittens who flew around the guild, zipping around, yanking hats off people's heads, until Pantherlily went full-size and scolded all the kittens, then scolded Happy and Charle that they should be more responsible as parents.
The wizards' children were there too. Lucy smiled around at the new generation of wizards. Even Asuka was there with her new baby, although Bisca and Alzack held the infant more, such proud grandparents.
"Hey, Lucy."
The voice was like Natsu, and so was the pink hair, yet the face had blue eyes, and his build was not as muscular as his father had been at this age. Still, Igneel Dragneel was just as famous as his father … and for all the wrong reasons. He was like a tornado, and the people nicknamed him Firestorm Igneel for a good reason. He was notoriously destructive … like his father.
Yet unlike Natsu, who had been so clueless about romance, Igneel was an insatiable flirt. He leaned right up into Lucy's space, and those narrow blue eyes were ready to eat her up.
"When are you going to leave the glacier-geezer and find someone who can really warm you up at night?"
She gently shoved him aside. "Not in your lifetime, Igneel."
"You were voted as the most beautiful wizard in Fiore. I was voted as the hottest guy. Even Sorcerer Magazine said we'd make a good couple."
"That article was all your doing."
"Lucy," he said softly, stroking her arm with his hot fingers. "Your beauty is wasted on that hoary grandpa. You need someone young, someone who can fulfill your needs."
"My needs are much different than the girlfriends you're used to, Igneel."
He smirked alluringly. "I'm up to the challenge. I bet he needs to use ice just to get hard."
She slapped his hand away. "You're being an insensitive brat again."
"Oh, I'm very sensitive, if you know how to do it right," he purred lecherously.
"I'm serious, Igneel. Stop it or I'll tell your aunt Mira."
That backed him off quickly. If there was one person who struck fear into this Firestorm, it was the Demon of Fairy Tail.
Then Natsu walked up. "Back off, boy," he growled at his son, and Igneel hurried away. Natsu had matured, and his hair was now long, white, with only hints of pink. He still wore his scarf, and his grin was just as bright, even if it rose massive smile lines into his cheeks. "Is he still bothering you, Lucy?"
"It's fine," Lucy assured. Then she hugged Natsu as one of her dearest and closest friends. "How have you been, you old flame-brain?"
He pouted and gazed over to where Erza and Jellal were being showered with compliments. "Still bummed about not being picked. Stupid old senile geezer! Gildarts can't see who's the strongest around here."
"You know, a guild master can't go out on missions and fight in the Grand Magic Games. You still can."
"Yeah, I guess so. Sting is always complaining about how boring being a guild master is. However … I guess I'm getting old," he laughed. "I was sparring with Gajeel last week and we both almost collapsed, panting with exhaustion, after just twenty minutes. In another ten years, I might have to retire. That would suck. I hate growing old."
Lucy felt a little sting. All of her friends were aging, and here she was, youthful and just as strong … no, stronger than she had been when they all fought together as teens.
Natsu realized too late what he said. "Ah man, Lucy, I didn't mean anything by that. I just…"
"No, it's fine." She smiled forcefully and gave him a light, playful shrug. "It's just something I have to get used to. You'd think I'd be okay with it by now."
"Hey!" He grinned, and it was that smile from the old days. "Here, you're still family, no matter your age."
That cheered her up. Natsu had that effect on her.
Then they heard shouting, crashing, and a small fireball billowed up from the far side of the guild hall.
"Ah crap!" Natsu groaned. "Gajeel, stop making out with Levy and help me pull apart Igneel and Metalicana. I'll be back, Lucy," he said before running off to deal with his son.
Lucy drifted over to Levy, who looked at her wit's end about her equally destructive son.
"Lucy, you're lucky you don't have kids, seriously."
Lucy knew her friend meant well, but comments like that still hurt. She used to want a family. She wondered sometimes what Gray's children would have looked like. She glanced over to him. He looked so distinguished with that silver hair, but sometimes she wanted to see the young version, a little son who looked half like a Fullbuster and half like a Heartfilia.
It was a wish that could never happen.
Gray's eyes met hers, and he smiled. She made herself grin back, but her heart still ached.
If Gray was worried that she might leave for a younger man, Lucy had her fears that Gray might want children before the end, to pass on his legacy. He was old, but not too old just yet. Even if it was sex purely to have offspring, she feared he might want that desire for a family and cheat on her, purely to have a little son he could train before the end.
"Lucy?" Levy questioned, touching her arm with a wrinkle of worry.
Even this, looking at the face of her best friend, was hard. All around her were reminders that her friends were aging, and she was not. In a few more decades, they would all be gone.
And she would remain.
Eternal.
Cursed.
Punished.
"I should go," she said. "I'll just say a little something to Erza first."
"Are you weakened already?" Levy asked in concern.
"Just a little weary is all," she said, which was not really a lie. This world's leeching effect tired her out quickly, although she had built up a tolerance to last in the Human World for twelve hours before real pain hit her.
"Oh?" Levy teased slyly. "Did you and Gray…?"
"Levy!" She glanced around, then leaned in and whispered. "Do you and Gajeel still … you know?"
"All the time," Levy giggled. "Especially since I can't have kids anymore. Any time, any place."
"Sheesh, it's a miracle you two only had four kids."
"Believe me, between the twins and Metalicana, four was enough."
Just then, Gajeel returned with his wild, blue-haired teenage son in tow, being dragged by the scruff of his neck. "Your son broke five tables, and Mira is charging us for damages."
"My son?" Levy shouted. "He's just as much yours, you know. If he was purely my son, he'd be a bookworm like our daughters."
Lucy slipped away from the Redfox family before she had to see a domestic argument. She pushed through the crowd and finally reached Erza, giving her a big hug.
"Congratulations, Erza. You're going to make a great guild master … if you can keep Igneel in line."
"I managed to straighten Natsu out, right?" The red-and-silver haired matriarch smiled gently. "I'm glad you could make it, Lucy. Where's Gray?"
"Around somewhere. Did he give you my gift yet?"
"The scarf? It's gorgeous. I've never seen material like that."
"It's a silk only found in the Spirit World."
"Did you make it?"
"I had some help," she admitted with a shrug. "Aries is teaching me knitting."
"Perhaps you can make a matching blue one for Jellal. They say it's going to be a cold winter."
"Uh, sure," Lucy laughed tensely.
Winter was less than three months away, which meant she would have only one day in the Spirit World to knit a scarf. There was no way she could make one that fast. She hoped Virgo would not mind making another. Maybe she would accept the task as punishment.
"Anyway, I need to go," Lucy said. "I just wanted to give you a hug for old time's sake."
"Are you tired already?" Again, there was that look of concern. All of her friends worried about her when she came to visit. They all knew that this world was painful to her. It made her visits even more precious to them.
"I'll visit again soon," Lucy promised. "Jellal, keep watching over her."
He smiled genteelly. "More so than ever, Lucy. Take care."
When she walked away from the crowd, Gray rushed up to her side.
"Are you feeling okay?"
"Will you guys stop that?" she snapped.
He blinked in confusion. "Stop what?"
"I know I'm a Celestial Spirit, I know this world drains my magic, but you all treat me like I might die if I spend more than an hour with you."
"Sorry," he muttered, still stunned by her anger. "I'm just worried. I don't want to hurt any of my friends, and especially not my Spirits. Especially not you, Lucy."
She sighed and walked away. "I know."
He followed her as she left the stuffy, noisy guild hall. The world outside was quieter, and as Lucy looked up, the sky was so vast in its endless blue vault.
"It's getting painful to come here," she muttered.
Gray wrapped an arm around her. "I assume you don't mean magically."
"I feel … left out," she whispered.
He hugged her tighter, but not yet a full embrace. "Lucy…"
"You wonder what I see of you." She gazed over to him with tears lining her eyes. "I wonder what everyone else sees of me. I wonder if you feel disgusted that I look so young, if people tease you like they scoff at me, if you're ashamed when people think I'm your daughter, or if you want a family—"
"Lucy!" He grabbed her and forced a kiss, right there in the courtyard where anyone could see. When he pulled away, his eyes glittered like jagged frost. "All I want is you. For eternity, if I could. I wish I could follow you into the Spirit World. I love Fairy Tail, but I would leave all this behind if I could have you with me for all time."
Her eyes widened. "You really want that?"
He said teasingly, "I wonder sometimes, which Celestial Spirit should I kill so I can be punished and spend eternity with you in the Spirit World."
Lucy drew back in rage and slapped him across the face with a loud smack. "Don't even joke about that."
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," he laughed, rubbing out his reddened face. Damn, she could slap hard! That almost dislocated his jaw.
"Gray, that is the worst thing ever. Do you have any idea at the guilt I suffer every moment because I lost Loke?"
"Lucy, it was a joke."
"Don't ever joke about that again."
"All right, I'm sorry."
She looked away, trying to let her anger cool off. The icy touch of Gray pulling her back helped. She let out a weary sigh and let him hold her from behind.
"Would you … really want that?" she asked in a cautious mutter. "To be a Celestial Spirit? To leave Earthland and all your friends behind?"
"To stay with you, I'd sacrifice my humanity, but I swear, I won't kill any of my Spirits. You're all too precious to me."
Lucy looked away to the city outside of this courtyard, and she listened as Gajeel began to sing a song. "There is a Celestial Spirit who wishes to be Human. This opportunity comes very rarely, only a few times in all of Human history. For him to become Human, a Human must take his place. It's a perfect exchange. You will take his place as a Spirit of a Constellation, and he will take your mortality, your magic, and inherit your keys."
"Are you serious?" Gray asked, mouth gaping.
She looked around to him. "I didn't want to tell you yet. I know you were aiming to be guild master. You have many more decades to live—"
"I could be killed by a dark wizard, or get hit by a car, or have a stroke, or hell, I could slip in the bathtub and die. The sooner I can be immortal like you, the better, before I croak from some stupid accident."
"I'll warn you, he's only a Silver Key."
"I don't care." Gray paused for a moment. "Can I at least look somewhat Human? I'm not going to turn into something like Plue or Horologium, right?"
She bashfully admitted, "You'd have furry ears and a tail."
Gray looked stumped, but slyly he asked, "Would you like to see me with a tail?"
She bit her lip slightly at the thought of it. If they were not out in public, she might have made some crude comments about what she really thought about it. Instead, she said, "I'd love you even as a clock or compass."
Gray gave her a chaste kiss. "I'm glad now that Gildarts picked Erza over me. I can leave this behind and be wholly dedicated to you. When can we do this?"
"Right now, if you want. Should you say goodbye?"
"Nah. Goodbyes are messy. I have a feeling I'll see them again anyway."
"I'll give you three days. Make any arrangements, maybe get in one last fight with Natsu." They both laughed at that. "In three days, meet me by the waterfall in the eastern woods. It might take me a little while to arrange everything. I'll come out on my own when we're ready." She reached up and caressed his cheek with worry. "Are you truly sure about this? There's no going back."
"To stay beside you for eternity?" He put his hand over hers. "Absolutely."
End of Chapter 12
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I Leave You, My Pride