In The Spaces Between Words

---Velvet Underworld---


It was a truce, L knew as he stepped into the bedroom he shared with Light with the younger genius close behind, and one as temporary and ephemeral as the moment it was made in. After what he’d said and the way he’d used Misa to make the Yagami boy join his side of the investigation, it was safe to say he’d fully expected the fist that landed on his face without warning the instant the door to their room was bolted shut. He dodged another punch before retaliating with a kick, just barely missing a fatal hit that could have broken the younger boy’s slender neck.


No words were said as they traded blows; they both knew exactly what the fight was about. He could see the fury in Light’s eyes –yes, full of the repressed violence of a subconscious murderer-, and it was not a surprise after his deliberate and honest provocation. Light’s very ability to read his thoughts so perfectly had reminded him of precisely why he was the perfect Kira, and as he did every time he made his move, he absently wondered if this would be the moment of truth, the final push that would make his enigmatic quarry let something slip.

And indeed Yagami Light was the one to break the unflinching silence of their battle. “Which is it you want, Ryuuzaki?!” he demanded angrily, his strained tenor punctuated by gasps for breath. “For me to be Kira or for Kira to be me?!”

Taken aback by the other’s piercing question, he almost failed to evade the punch that followed it. Was that it? The challenge, the adrenaline rush of the elusive chase? Indeed, did he want Yagami Light to be Kira badly enough to have a delusional conviction? He didn’t answer, striking back with a kick just a beat too slow. The brunet anticipated it, blocking and catching his leg, using it to push him backwards. He would have fallen had the wall not been close behind him, fallen and dragged along even considering the force of the impact his back had on the painted concrete. In the haze of pain and confusion, warm lips were abruptly crushed to his own; the sound of protest and the shocked look on the younger boy’s face clearly showed that this was far from how he had imagined his retaliatory manoeuvre would end up.


It took just another second for L to realize that it had been he who had grabbed the boy by the collar of his shirt and hauled him forward for the lip-lock they were now engaging in and that his sometime opponent had yet to release his leg. And suddenly, before he could even reconsider, Light was returning the kiss with far more skill than he’d expected and just as much passion, pressing their bodies closer as the hand on his leg groped upwards. He broke away to moan as fingers probed his groin even through thick denim and found his own fingers buried in honey brown hair. The other pressed an almost reverent kiss to his exposed collarbone even as another hand slid under his T-shirt to feel his bare skin and the bones not far beneath.

“What is this, Ryuuzaki?” The question was murmured against his neck with the barest hint of desperation.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly in a hoarse whisper.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” He shook his head slowly, turning away.

Light pulled away to chuckle slightly, a hint of nervousness in the sound. “It is rare that you profess to not know anything.”

“Heh, L scoffed quietly, still not looking at him. “Many things have been unknown to me since I met y—Kira,” he amended as an afterthought.

For a moment, Light looked like he might get angry all over again, but then he just muttered, “Asshole.”

L decided to take his chances at lightening the situation, prepared to worsen it nevertheless. “Literally?” he asked.

Light blinked, wondering if he’d just imagined his companion’s lame attempt at a joke. Then he grinned. “Yes, literally, L; fuck you,” he replied good-humouredly, but his tender caress on pale skin betrayed his casual words.

The detective didn’t resist when he wrapped his arms tightly around him and pressed their bodies together. He wasn’t sure when half their clothes had come undone, so lost as he was in his experience of the other, but he was aware of enjoying L’s uninhibited reactions to his touch on sensitive skin, having to pin the other against the wall roughly to keep him still even as hips bucked and backs arched responsively, and the restrained scream accompanying the sensation of hot fluid on his hand before the slender body pressed to his shuddered and leaned more heavily on him. Jagged nails dug into his skin hard enough to hurt, but he made no attempt to stop them. He heard L’s panting in his right ear, and the words in a whisper that seemed at once almost a sigh of resignation.

“Too soon…”

“You’ve never…”

“Look at me.”

He leaned back to obey, gazing directly into lust-darkened obsidian eyes.

“Tell me, Light… Light… The truth...”

“You never believe it anyway,” he challenged. “Why does it matter now?”

The detective smiled thinly. “Humour me,” he replied flatly.

“I am not Kira,” he obliged. It was the truth as he knew it, no matter what L or anyone else thought.

The older man closed his eyes –blinding himself, Light thought absently as he tried to read his lover’s expression, from his own doubts and the reality of their circumstances– and turned away, saying nothing.

“Ryuuzaki…”

And then he was being drawn in for another kiss, slower than before and deeper, even as he felt moisture where the nails pressed into his skin had drawn blood. He paid the cuts, slight pain and sticky hand no heed. Somehow, they made it to the bed, losing the rest of their clothes along the way, and he had to pause to admire the pale thin body on the sheets before him. Far too thin and pale to be healthy really, let alone attractive, but at that point in time, it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen: L, lying in his shadow on the white sheets that barely contrasted with his skin that was glistening with the sweat of arousal. Light could see the blood vessels beneath that almost-white membrane as he leaned down to tease a nipple with his tongue, marvelling at how delicate the strong man he had just been fighting seemed now.


L’s body arched into the contact with a soft gasp below him, and he reached under that willowy frame with one hand to wrap an arm around his lover even as he coated himself with the semen on his other hand, resisting the urge to stroke himself to completion. Sucking on the ruddy nub rewarded him with a moan, and he realized the necessity of all the walls the detective had built around himself as the other whimpered when he drew the hand beneath that slender form in a trail down a spine he could feel every ridge of: underneath all that, L was delicate and sensitive; it was a kind of instinctive self-defense. He trailed kisses down that somewhat concave abdomen to find his lover semi-erect once more, and pressed a kiss to the sac beside his prize.

The older man gasped sharply and panted, “Don’t…”

“Hm?” he pressed, teasing it with a flick of his tongue as he watched the other’s reaction.

L’s face contorted at the contact as he bit his lip and writhed. “Too…sensitive…” he muttered through obviously gritted teeth.

“Mm,” he agreed, shifting his attention to the shaft next to it and watching it engorge more fully as he licked a trail up the vein beneath it while its owner dug his head back into the bed with a loud moan in response.

It was erotic to see how affected the usually distant oddball was by his every touch and action now, and Light revelled in the moment. Withdrawing his hand from underneath his lover, he moistened his fingers in his mouth and lifted a pale leg to press them to a sallow cleft. The detective tensed in surprise at first, then slowly relaxed as realization seemed to hit, and he took this as a sign to proceed. Gently stretching his partner the way a homosexual classmate had once elucidated in vivid detail when a girl had asked how exactly two men could have sex, Light watched obvious discomfort melt into vocal expressions of pleasure when he found the spot he was looking for and even caught the fleeting flash of disappointment in onyx eyes when he removed the digits, for once thankful he had not shut the conversation out of his mind.


Using his saliva to moisten himself further just in case, he hefted his L’s other leg up over his shoulder as well and positioned himself before that entrance. This was it. After months of watching each other watch each other, this was hardly the culmination he’d expected. Indeed, he distinctly remembered telling L he wasn’t gay and wondered when that had changed. He doubted L had planned this either, and he sought out that obsidian gaze in the darkness of the room they shared where the only light now was that of the full moon and reflected city lights from the window. They had neglected to draw the curtains today, and he was glad for the illumination by which he could clearly see his partner. He opened his mouth to ask if L was ready even as he pressed into the tight opening slightly, but the other beat him to words.

“How does it feel, Kira, on the brink of ultimate conquest?” the sleuth asked breathlessly in a cold taunt, a hard edge to his voice despite the circumstances.

In a moment of rage wherein he was simply too furious to find words to answer, Light sheathed himself far more quickly and roughly than he’d intended, and L’s scream of pain ripped through the room despite the other’s swiftly turning his face into a pillow to muffle it the way Light realized he’d ripped something in that instant of violence thanks to the additional moisture he felt inside his lover; the realization killed his rage as quickly as the other’s words had killed the moment, and he remained perfectly still, ignoring his body’s urging him to move. He reached out to nudge the other’s chin gently with his fingertips to face him. Black eyes were moist and unreadable. He leaned forward, and seeing L squeeze his eyes shut and wince at the pain the slight movement caused killed some of his arousal.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, filled with remorse, before pressing a light kiss to slightly swollen lips. “Of all times…” he murmured sadly, kissing the detective again. “Why?”

A pallid hand released the fabric tightly fisted in it and reached out to stop the next kiss. An ashen thumb caressed his lip lightly as he leaned into the touch that cupped his cheek.

“It was a bad time,” L conceded, not looking at him.

“Talk about an understatement,” he muttered drily.

The eccentric private investigator didn’t resist when he pressed their lips together tenderly once more, even parting his lips to deepen the kiss with the barest coaxing.

“Why do you insist on making us hurt each other, Ryuuzaki?” he asked when they broke off for air, not expecting an answer.

He was surprised when one came, barely audible with a hint of hesitation. “It… makes everything seem more real…”

Light knew not what to say to the confession he wasn’t even sure he had heard from the other. “…Ryuuzaki..?”

No response was forthcoming.

“L..?” he tried again.

“It’s like… telling so many lies that even you are not sure what the truth is anymore…” the oddball tried to explain at last, his words slow and tentative as if he wasn’t all too certain what he meant himself. “Or rather… like always risking your life, so you never know if there will be a tomorrow…” Onyx eyes were distant and contemplative.

For the longest time, Light just stared blankly at his companion. Then suddenly, he thought he understood and wondered if he’d understood it right. “You’re saying… You don’t mean that you want this pain because it makes you feel alive..?” he questioned uncertainly.

“I keep hoping you’ll snap if you’re lying,” L admitted, his tone bitter and self-deprecating. “That way I’ll have prior warning if you’re going to kill me soon.”

The brunet lowered his head to bury his face in a sallow chest at that. “I’m not Kira, L. How many times must I tell you this?” he asked, nearly desperate with frustration. After a long silence, he bitterly added almost to himself, “Heh, it makes no difference what I say, does it?” He looked up at the older man at this.

The detective shook his head just once, but gave no verbal reply as he pulled him close for a kiss. Hands roamed his back and slender hips moved beneath him, reminding him of where they’d left off. It wasn’t hard to find the passion they’d lost again as his partner pressed their bodies closer together, and he moved to suckle lightly at a spot on a pale collarbone. L nibbled on his earlobe, and he moaned softly, reaching down to stroke the other’s shaft as he moved a little inside his lover experimentally. When he found no signs of pain, he withdrew and began to thrust into that heated passage, finding that place inside that he knew would give L the most pleasure. He was rewarded with moans and sighs that gradually built into cries of ecstasy.


Thin arms were wrapped tightly around him now as their tongues intertwined once more and he stroked the arousal between them. A hand reached down to squeeze his ass lightly and he made a sound of approval before fingers stroking his entrance had him moaning deeply into the kiss they shared and quickening his thrusts. It wasn’t long before they both came with a loud cry, and he collapsed on the willowy body below him. L unhooked his legs from slim shoulders with a soft sigh, and Light slid out of and off his companion to settle on the bed beside the sleuth. Homosexuality may be morally wrong, but he couldn’t make himself care about that at the present moment. It had been good, far better than the few times he’d been with all-too-willing girls, and as long as no one knew, society’s opinion was irrelevant.


Suddenly, it occurred to him that L had not denied his earlier conclusion. He couldn’t be definitively certain, of course, but what L didn’t say was often almost as important as what he did say. He pulled the older man into a tight embrace wordlessly, and they settled easily into each other’s arms, legs intertwining. He would have told L again that he wasn’t lying, but the detective was already asleep, and he knew the words wouldn’t matter anyway. Thus, he simply pulled a blanket over them both and closed his eyes to succumb to sleep as well.


~*~*~*~*~*~


A/N: Wow, they sure seem to make drastic changes here every time I return to post something. Well, this is me in the dilemma again of being caught between a dateline and a distraction. 3 papers due and I'm writing porn! Wonderful. I have the work ethic of a...no, I just plain don't have one. Great. Well, please do tell me what you think of this chapter. I hope it was worth the time! Thank you. ^__^