Dawn

Wolfram jolted awake. He found himself with his arms full of Greta and his ears still ringing from her accompanying cry. The late afternoon sun was still shining brightly, but he could see that it was later in the day than what had become usual. He raised himself into a sitting position and patted Greta on the back lightly as he inquired, “ What’s wrong Greta? Why did you let me sleep so long?”

“You scared me Wolfram. I couldn’t get you to wake up. At first I just called for you like normal, but when you didn’t come find me I had to come up to the tree. I sat next to you and called your name, but you were so still; it’s like you couldn’t hear me.” Greta wrapped her arms around Wolfram tightly. “Don’t do that anymore ‘k?”

Wolfram was horrified. He smoothed his hands down Greta’s back and pulled her close. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you like that. I promise I won’t let it happen again, Greta.”

“Stop it! Stop staying that right now, Wolfram!” Greta pushed herself back, away and out of his arms. She glared at him accusingly, “You promised that there wouldn’t be any lies, that there would only be truth between us. And you’ve kept your word and I’ve kept mine. But this-if you say this now it’ll be a lie. You know it, so do I. So just don’t”

Wolfram drew his feet in towards his body and pulled his legs in with his arms to curl forward and rest his head against his knees. He felt shame flood him and hid his face briefly before he raised his head slightly to peer over at Greta. His voice when it came was low and slightly muffled. “I don’t sleep anymore. At night, I used to be able to doze at least; but-not anymore. That first afternoon, when we came out here to this orchard and I fell asleep. It was the first time I’d actually slept since-“ Wolfram gave a silent shrug his shoulders rolling with the movement.

“It seemed a blessing to finally be able to sleep again. And when you told me it was all right, that you didn’t mind that I took a little time and snuck in naps here or there, it was good. But then it made nights harder.” Wolfram heard the words as they left his lips and quickly looked to Greta. He saw in her eyes that she knew what he meant and when she raised her hand to rest it against his arm, he flinched. “Greta, please-“

“-it’s not pity Wolfram.” Greta interrupted. “I don’t pity you. I just know what you’re trying to say. Or what you are saying. Or what it is that you’re meaning when you say.”

Wolfram felt his face break into a smile at the look of confusion that crossed Greta’s face as she tried to comfort him without offending him. “Thanks, Greta.” He stated simply, putting her out of her momentary misery.

Greta looked up again, grateful that he’d seen behind her messed up words. She enjoyed the silence between them for a few minutes before she turned to him again and found herself asking, “What do you do, Wolfram, when you can’t sleep?”

“I work. At first I’d just go down to the study and look over all of the paperwork and correspondence that had piled up.
After I caught up on that I started reading again in the library, all the books I used to like, then all the books I’d never read, then the ones I always disliked.” He shot a wry grin at Greta and saw her smile spread at his teasing tone. “After I got tired of reading I started walking. Just made rounds of the castle and then the grounds and gardens, but I kept stirring up the guards on watch and the maids. I figured I should stop before anymore rumors start up again. The past few nights I’ve just been in my room. I found some old canvases and paint, so I’ve been dabbling.”

Greta felt a frown settle between her brows. “But if it’s dark out, Wolfram, how do you paint?”

At that Wolfram raised his head and gave Greta a full smile, “I didn’t say I’ve been painting Greta. I said I’ve dabbled. There’s a difference!” he reached out a hand and ruffled her curls as she giggled at the play. ‘Besides,’ a tiny voice inside his heart whispered. ‘The light has already left my world. It doesn’t matter anymore when I paint.’

+++++

“So you’re saying that you’re not sure what changes they’ve made either then, Murata?” Yuri tried to keep the disbelief out of his voice as he phrased his question.

“Not entirely, no.” came the dry response.

“Well I’m pretty sure that Gwendel would take over any matter of defense for kingdom. I don’t think he’d let anyone else handle that. And Gunter always seemed like he was handling the public relations and community stuff pretty well. Wolfram probably pitched din where he could, I’m sure. And Conrad knows me well enough that if anyone had any questions or problems or anything he would have set them straight.” Yuri finished his mental listing and looked to see if Murata agreed with his assessment. He felt a swell of pride as he saw Ken smiling and nodding his head in tandem with his words. That is until Ken opened his mouth.

“Sure, Yuri, I’m sure that that is in fact exactly what happened. Unless of course at your leaving Gwendel went mad with power and killed off Conrad and Wolfram, the two most obvious contenders, in order to assume the throne for himself as ruling regent.” He paused for breath and watched the possibility wash over Yuri’s face.

“Or unless the kingdom assumed that since Wolfram was your acknowledged fiancée he was the obvious choice of ruler in your absence and appointed his as such, only to find out too late that Wolfram still harbored a deep seated hatred towards the humans and has instigated a plan to wipe them from the world.” He paused again to see Yuri’s eyes widen at that thought.

“Or then again perhaps with your leaving so quickly the rest of the human countries believe that Shin Makoku has somehow done away with you by nefarious means and in a desperate bid for revenge against the grievous deed, they’ve all banded together slaughtered all members of the demon kingdom including the residents of Blood Pledge Castle and are now dividing the remains of the conquered kingdom amongst themselves.” He saw the abject horror that filled Yuri’s countenance at the idea.

“Or perhaps Conrad saw an opportunity to fill the royal coffers and used Annisinna’s latest device, ‘pretty-pretty-demon-concubine-trainer’ and is now the sole proprietor of the Great Demon Bordello, featuring Gwendel, Gunter, and Wolfram as male gigolos.” Ken tried to end on an uplifting note.

Yuri shook his head and giving up all hope allowed his face to smack into the surface of the coffee table. After a moment where his ears rang, he asked in a subdued voice, “Why did you ever let me walk through that gate?”

Ken let out a bark of laughter and leaned over to sock his friend in the arm. “I already told you buddy; free will!”

Later that night after Murata had finally left, Yuri found himself alone in his room lying on his bed staring at the ceiling as he contemplated the questions that Ken had asked, or more importantly the questions that he hadn’t asked. He wondered about Greta, how she had taken the news that he had left and this time wouldn’t be returning. How she had felt, if she had had any nightmares about his leaving her. He knew that she was touchy about him leaving under regular circumstances; this must have been really difficult for her.

That got him thinking about the person he found his thoughts most often centered on, Wolfram. He wondered how difficult this had been on him. He had dreamed about those final moments enough times to realize that he had heard a sound behind him, right as he’d stepped through. It had sounded like a cry. At the time Yuri remembered that he’d hoped he’d imagined the sound. When Wolfram had seen him off, there had been a look of sadness on his face, but he’d still smiled and let him go. It had mattered to Yuri then that his friend had been able to let him go and had not made a scene. Wolfram’s fits and tantrums always made Yuri feel uncomfortable.

Granted his own mother was somewhat unusual in her manner by Japanese standards, but Wolfram was even more different from what he’d grown up with. It had seemed like such an obstacle when he’d first arrived, getting used to Wolfram’s personality quirks, but after awhile and most especially after having left Shin Makoku, Yuri didn’t see it that way anymore. He wasn’t quite sure when it had happened exactly, but they didn’t seem so much like quirks, they were just Wolfram. He’d actually been a little grateful. Yuri closed his eyes and pictured himself as he’d been when he’d first journeyed to Shin Makoku. He’d been scared and nervous and overwhelmed. Conrad had been a friend, but as his godfather Yuri was sure that was only right.

Gwendel was always so incredibly silent and stoic that it had been intimidating to be around him. And since Gunter was always in motion doing something it was exhausting to be around him too. But Wolfram, Wolfram had been different. He’d blow hot and then cold. He’d nag and whine and complain and then he’d turn around and put himself between Yuri and danger. At first it had been confusing. It had annoyed and irritated the heck out Yuri to have to put up with him.

He’d spent what had seemed like days trying to figure out what would set Wolfram off and if there was a way to avoid it. But then it had almost been a comfort. No matter what craziness was going on, he could depend on Wolfram to call him a wimp or a cheat. The names that Wolfram called him had been insulting at first but then later they’d seemed more like nicknames between friends. Although Yuri acknowledged ruefully that to Wolfram they’d probably been endearments.

Yuri closed his eyes. Before all of this had begun he’d been a normal baseball loving guy. He’d gone to school, done homework had friends. Yeah he’d noticed girls; who wouldn’t? But he’d never dated. He’d gotten chocolate from a few girls on Valentine’s; mostly classmates he’d helped with homework he acknowledged. And yeah, he’d been a gentleman on White’s Day and reciprocated. But he’d never met any of them after school or anything. In fact he’d always been a bit nervous around them.

He didn’t really understand them. Shori and his dad were no help, and while his mother was a woman, even from a young age Yuri had known that to compare his mother with other women was like matching apples and pears. Yuri sighed. Maybe that’s what was so confusing. He’d always been shy around girls, never really getting that close to them. Maybe that’s why he didn’t know if he was really gay. From everything he’d ever heard you were supposed to know from like birth if you were gay or not.

Did it make him stupid that he’d never thought about it? When he’d been a child he’d been to young to think about anything other than how uncomfortable he felt around girls. And then after junior high he’d just always thought he didn’t have enough time to try and figure them out, that he’d always have ‘later’ to find a girl he could like and understand. And then he’d been flushed into another world where he was surrounded by beautiful people who seemed to have much more ‘open’ ideas about love and sexuality then what he’d grown up with.

Yuri paused in his thoughts for a moment while he readjusted his seat against the headboard. Maybe that’s what it was. ‘Gayness by culture shock.’ He shook his head, that was stupid. It was probably more likely that he’d been put off balance by culture shock and that had been enough to make him open his mind beyond what he’d become accustomed too. His mother was always spouting that he was sometimes too much like his brother, focused so much on what was immediately in front of him that he was unable to see all of the other possibilities that were staring him in the face.

Maybe he’d been gay all along and he’d just never known it. ‘Maybe you’ve just been yourself all along and you’ve never met someone that attracted you.’ He heard his heart whisper. The knowledge came to him softly at first and then as the words found a home in his thoughts the fell through him with the weight of truth. ‘That’s it.’ Yuri thought. ‘That’s it exactly. I’ve been so stupid.’ He felt himself give a lopsided grin as he took his hand and thumped himself of the side of the head in realization.

A/N So tell me honestly would it really be a bad thing if Blood Pledge Castle were renamed The Great Demon Bordello? I mean as long as it was filled with all of the numy-lisious bishi guys would anyone really complain here? Honestly. Oh and can anyone come up with a better name than "The Great Demon Bordello"? 'cause the more I type it, the more I dislike it. Darn it! Oh well, hope you enjoyed!