Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Psalms for the Fallen	By : anyasy Category: Hellsing > General Views: 3357 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
Psalms
for the Fallen

13

I

Father
Mikaine Ganslein met Sir Integral Hellsing in a caf� a ways from Saint Peters,
where she was sipping a shot of espresso and reading a newspaper. When
she didn�t acknowledge his presence, he took a seat at the table anyway, and
waved away the approaching waiter.

�I
saw you at the elegy.�

�You
have sharp eyes.� Integral replied, without looking up.

�I
did not expect you to come for the funeral.�

�I
would not have, without the notification you sent.�

�Ah,�
Mikaine said with a genial smile, �But you could have bypassed the crowds of
mourners in the Vatican City had you come in a few weeks.�

�And
I would have thought you too busy with the papal funeral to have drafted me
such a letter, so soon,� Integral shot back. �Even were it truly in his
Will.�

�I
would love to spend the whole day sniping with you, Lady Hellsing,� Mikaine
said, glancing down briefly. At Integral�s feet, beside her briefcase,
was a beautifully groomed golden retriever, collarless. As he looked at
it, its dark eyes turned red, briefly, then dark again. It bared its
teeth, its tongue lolling out, but remained otherwise unnaturally still.
�And Lady Seras.�

�Lord
Hellsing,� Integral corrected sharply. �My flight is scheduled for the
evening. The documents, if you please.�

�All
thorns, this rose,� Mikaine grinned, but he slid the leather case across the
table, marked discreetly on the rim with the papal seal. �Your thirty
pieces of silver.�

�Good.
Now let him be.� Integral picked up her briefcase, and placed the case within
it, snapping the silver buckles shut efficiently before placing the bag back
beside the �dog�.

�I
would have thought sentiment above Lord Hellsing,� Mikaine said, his
tone jovial, but his eyes narrowed. �By all accounts the man is no longer
useful to your organization, as he is now. But with what he has
undergone, to the Vatican-�

�We�ve
paid our dues,� Integral interrupted shortly. �A favor for a favor.
We will treat any further attempt to contact the subject without his explicit
and tacit approval as a hostile act. And, strange as it may seem, he is
not now without protectors.�

There
was a short, sharp yip of agreement from the retriever, and Mikaine leant back
in his chair, glancing up at the cloudy sky. �Warning received, Lord
Hellsing; I will give your answer to the Cardinals.�

�See
that you do.�

�And
I am glad for it, personally.� Mikaine admitted easily, relaxing, �The poor man
has been through much. And as for the divine � well! I am content to let
Him have his mysteries.�

�Still
a dog, even through the death of your master?� Integral inquired, though her
tone was not unkind, though her eyes did not soften.

�Ah,
we shall see,� Mikaine said, with a little wink. �Perhaps in three weeks
I could trouble you to return, if His Will decides.�

Integral
narrowed her eyes. �You have hopes for the conclave? Some might be
suspicious, if you become the successor.�

�Oh,
we will see,� Mikaine repeated, getting up from his seat. �Il commiato
la mia signora. Wish �the subject� well, for me.�

�What
did you tell the Cardinals, of Aglione?�

�Ah�
that he had taken a group of representatives from the Ninth to do battle with
the Lamiae, and was killed in the process. Very regrettable. No
remains found. He will be buried in honor, perhaps after the nine days of
mourning.� Mikaine pushed the chair back against the table.

�And,
of course, no mention of the Projects.�

�No,�
Mikaine smiled, unrepentant and inflexible. �The Vatican is in a perilous
state, in this stage of the century, and unstable at the moment without its
leader. Matters will lie as they are. But there will be no more
Projects. You can have my word on that.�

�So
you say.�

�Sister
Heinkel was nominated as leader of what remains of the Ninth and
Thirteenth. It remains to be seen if she will accept.�

At
that, Integral arched an eyebrow and glanced up from the paper. �Oh?�

�I
have heard that she is giving it some serious thought.� Mikaine inclined
his head, and straightened. �With the last True Midian under your thumb,
perhaps the energies of the Ninth and the last handful of the Thirteenth are
best directed, for the moment, at reparation. Though, I do admit I am
concerned as to how easily he seems to be able to enter his �zero form�, at
this point in time.�

�How
very neat.� Integral�s steely tone remained merciless, ignoring Mikaine�s
veiled question. �The last of your master�s legacy, the ends tied into
pretty little knots. And your doing, I should think.�

�Ah,
Lord Hellsing,� Mikaine said modestly, �I am, as you say, a mere dog, bowing to
the last of his master�s will.�

II

Anderson
froze, when on the way out of the austere Divinity School at the University of
Oxford he caught sight of a very familiar figure being accosted by a security
guard.

�I�m
sorry, sir,� the guard was saying patiently, �But could I see your visitor�s
pass?�

Alucard
grinned, looking past the guard at Anderson, and tipped his hat in mock
politeness. �Only waiting for a friend.�

The
guard looked between them suspiciously, but when Anderson nodded, the man
seemed to shrug, ambling back towards the ancient, gothic structure of the
Divinity School. An Archbishop from South Africa was guest speaking today
about the nature of symbolism, and the security was a little tighter than
normal, with more people milling about the premises. Anderson glared at
Alucard, who smirked.

�Going
to St. Giles?�

Anderson
wasn�t surprised that Alucard seemed fully aware of his habits, though this was
the first time he had seen the vampire since he had left Cornwall.
Irritably, he began to walk, holding his folders and notepad to his chest like
a shield and adjusting his glasses. At the very least, he had to get the
gaudily dressed vampire away from public scrutiny.

�Aye.�

�Message
from my Lady Integral,� Alucard said conversationally, keeping pace. �
�Do as you wish�.�

�Thank
her fer me,� Anderson muttered gruffly. He suspected the root of her
reason, that he was now still yet a puzzle to occupy her monster�s spare time,
but Sir Hellsing had been a ferocious protector since Johannesburg, all but
strong-arming the Vatican into leaving him alone on his second take at life,
and for the ends he could be grateful. The passage of the Pope into the
arms of God had been instrumental, however, in finally receiving surcease, it
seemed.

He
didn�t remember much after Dominion, only vague flashes of blurred scenes � the
cloying, choking scents of rot, the panic he originally felt at suddenly having
to breathe, then the bone-deep shock and wonder. He dimly remembered
being transported to their rooms at the Westcliff hotel, where he had thrown up
in the washroom until he could only heave dryly, and then had next woken up in
Cornwall, still in shock.

Seras
had brought him a cup of tea, oversweetened in the female vampire�s own
distraction, but after months of swallowing bile at the very taste of human
food, it had felt like heaven, just to drink.

�How
does it feel to be fully human?� Alucard inquired, as they threaded through
sparser human traffic past the Bodleian. England was slowly recovering
from the war, with the devastation already cleaned up from much of London itself,
people slowly returning to their shattered lives. The University of
Oxford and most of its usual denizens had been spared from the effects of the
war and its aftermath, however, and walking on its gorgeous grounds, one might
not even guess that a horror had been perpetuated outside its walls.

�Worth
anythin�.� He had lost both his Midian abilities and his regeneration, but he
would have given those up a thousand times over for what he had received.
It had been another two months, and occasionally he still woke up disbelieving
his luck. �Are ye here only t�deliver her words?�

�Aye.�
A noiseless laugh, and red eyes raked briefly over him, then lingered at his
throat. �Sadly. I have express orders from my Master to let you be,
and besides, you�ll be quite unentertaining as a ghoul.�

Anderson
glowered at Alucard, but it was halfhearted, and the way the vampire�s teeth
lengthened into points, Alucard knew it. �No abilities. Just like
any other monkey on the sidewalk.�

�Ae
�monkey on the sidewalk� enslaved ye,� Anderson reminded him mildly. The
dying sun brought a chill that he welcomed, still so blindly grateful to be
alive.

�Ah,
the Hellsings are not very ordinary.� Alucard said, and his red eyes gleamed
behind his orange glasses. �But you, you can no longer even regenerate,
can you, Father Anderson? You�ll grow old, you�ll die, you�re nothing now but a
curio to the Vatican.�

�Aye.�
Anderson smiled, one of his genuine ones, startling even himself. �Ah�ll
grow old. Ah�ll die. An� Ah�ve been let alone t�do wha� Ah wish.�

�I�m
surprised you chose to remain in England.�

�Rome
grew ae little stiflin�,� Anderson admitted. �An� Sir Hellsing offered me
the fundin� an� opportunity t�study theology at Oxford. Ah could see nae
point in declinin�.�

�Anderson
the scholar.� Alucard�s tone was mocking, but Anderson met his sidelong gaze
evenly.

�Aye.�

�I
would have thought you eager to return to Iscariot.�

�T�would
be ae poor man who would continue t�steep his second chance in damnation.� To
tell the truth, Anderson was tired, and besides, Iscariot no longer survived;
nor did he feel fit, at the moment, to return to his orphanage.
Integral�s offer, for him to just forget for a while, to have something
else to do until he made up his mind, and to do something he had always
secretly wanted, to study, seemed another miracle dropped in his lap.

�You�re
running.� Alucard�s perception was sharp, even though Anderson didn�t feel the
tell-tale twitch of mental invasion. �Aren�t you?�

�Ah
dinnae ken why Ah was� forgiven,� Anderson chose the word heavily. �Ah
dinnae ken that at all.�

�Isn�t
God�s method meant to be unfathomable to a mere human?� Alucard said
carelessly.

�An�
ye�ll do well not t�speak His word,� Anderson muttered, almost
distractedly. �Dinnae say Sir Hellsing told ye t�leave me be?�

�Her
words are always open to a little interpretation,� Alucard took him by the arm,
sharply, and Anderson had little time to protest before he felt the dizzy
displacement of reality, the heartbeat of enveloping darkness, then they were
in the small apartment he rented (albeit at near ruinous rent, thankfully
supplied by Hellsing) within walking distance of the University, pressed
against the peeling, yellowish wallpaper, and kissed, searching and slow.
Alive again, Alucard�s cold flesh was almost, almost repulsive, but
Anderson took his cheeks between his own warm, fingerless wool-gloved palms
instead, and closed his eyes, opened his mouth to the long, cool tongue, and
sighed.

The
sound made the vampire pull back, and Alucard removed his glasses, tossing them
cavalierly onto the narrow desk, upon which was stacked the few tomes of Ex
Cathedra that Integral had �graciously� given him from Alucard�s
library.

�Have
you lost your fight?� Alucard murmured.

�Nay,�
Anderson said, and this time, when he smiled, he allowed his eyes to close,
tugging Alucard gently closer, so the warmth from his breath could ghost over
the vampire�s skin. �But perhaps Ah�ve regained enough o� my humanity
t�learn pity.�

There
was a startled hrm, deep within Alucard�s throat, then a low, wry
chuckle, and gloved hands slipped over his hips, and a cool forehead pressed
against his. Carefully, Anderson removed his own glasses, as the frame
pressed uncomfortably against the bridge of his nose, but Alucard caught his
hand gently, turning it to press the fabric against his cheek.

�For
comfort?�

�The
marks dinnae heal.�

�Stigmata.�

�Hardly.�

�The
way of your God,� Alucard said mockingly, though it wasn�t in his eyes or his
half-smile. A tendril of shadow took the glasses from Anderson and placed
them next to the vampire�s orange ones on the table. �Are yours as
unnecessary as mine?�

�Aye.�
Anderson said simply, �But Ah feel strange wi�out them.�

�It�s
a pity.� Alucard caught the priest�s chin between his fingers, and brushed his
lips over the scar. �Such a pity. Hiding eyes like yours. And
these clothes.� Long fingers traced his high-collared light brown coat, to the
thick cuffs, then the horn buttons over the double breast, then back up to his
clerical collar, visible even under the heavy coat. �Still a priest,
after everything.�

�Ah
haven�t been excommunicated.�

�You
died in London, Alex.� Alucard pressed him more firmly against the wall,
nuzzling his jaw, undoing the buttons on his coat with deliberate
slowness. �You died in London, I killed you. You became a
vampire. You took blood.�

�Aye.�
Anderson didn�t argue that he was the one who had, ultimately, chosen to
drink, that his human will had caved before his vampiric thirst, no matter the
circumstances. Besides, he had little to complain of the result.
�Aye, Ah did.�

Saying
that seemed to startle the vampire again: Alucard tensed against him, then
slowly relaxed, licking seemingly playfully against his ear with a low
purr. �Oh you�ve changed, Judas Priest. No anger? No accusations?�

�Fer
wha� purpose but yer amusement?� Anderson countered.

He
had spent the first week after Johannesburg thinking, secluded in his room in
Cornwall, all but dragooned into eating by Integral, who marched him up every
meal to sit with her at the dining hall and eat in blessed, incurious
silence. He supposed the fact that Alucard had left him alone was certainly
her will. The week had been useful, to sort out his thoughts and to make
several difficult decisions, and at its end, to his own astonishment, he had
found himself at peace, for the first time in far too long.

�Hmm.�
Alucard hummed, deep and predatory, nibbling teasingly over Anderson�s clerical
collar, but he felt no fear, slumped in the vampire�s arms, his hands on
Alucard�s shoulders. It was true that he felt pity for the creature, now,
pity for his thankless, endless existence, knew his madness and violence as the
result of crushing ennui, the curse of �immortality�. He cupped Alucard�s
skull and pulled him closer, pressing their lips together and drawing the
tongue boldly into his throat, sucking on it to warm it, dimly listening to the
pleased, surprised purr the vampire made. Long, gloved fingers skittered
down past his hips to his rump, squeezing, and pulled him up and against the
vampire�s thigh, the friction pleasant, inviting.

�Careful,
Alex,� the vampire whispered, when Anderson tugged insistently at his shoulders
until Alucard let him up for breath. �So eager to embrace damnation
during your second chance?�

�Ah
have good reason t�believe that Judgment isnae based on all sins o� the flesh,�
Anderson replied dryly, skimming his fingers over the cool neck and watching
Alucard hiss. �Given wha� has happened t�date. An� besides, it
isnae wha� ye think.�

�Oh?�
Alucard nipped at his clerical collar.

�Aye.�

�You�ve
given it thought.�

�Aye.�
Anderson stared straight into unblinking red eyes. �As Ah am now, Ah
cannae stop ye.�

�Oh,
come now-�

�But,�
Anderson added inexorably, allowing a faint smirk of his own, �Ah can forgive
ye.�

As
he had expected, the vampire reared back, his expression fleeting from shock to
irritation to disgust and finally to manic amusement, and Alucard began to
laugh, pitchy and insane, then deeper, deeper, planting gloved hands to either
side of Anderson�s head and bowing his own, until only his shoulders were
shaking. His hair lengthened, becoming wilder, a mane, the crimson hat
and coat whirling into restless darkness, then silver plated down Alucard�s
right arm, malicious maroon eyes opening and closing over his torso before
coalescing into the thick vest of the Count.

Anderson
found himself dragged tightly against Alucard, and he murmured a brief protest
before the vampire kissed him roughly, growling and grinding his thigh up more
firmly between the priest�s legs. �Then forgive this, priest,� the Count
rumbled against his ear, and despite himself, Anderson shivered, but he dropped
his hands to his sides, pressed them back, palms-flat against the wall, and
waited, turning his mind with some effort to the content of the lectures he had
attended today, to the books he had read in the Bodleian.

Eventually,
as he had thought, there was an irritated snort, and the bristle of a beard
tickled over his scar, and there was a little nip over his ear that seemed
reproachful. �Is this some sort of lesson?�

Anderson
grinned. For the first time since he could remember, around him, Alucard
was at a loss. Changing into the form of the Count was evident enough:
the vampire�s curiosity had just overwhelmed his instinctive desires. He
wanted to savor the moment, that he had just, if briefly, bested Alucard�s
will, but he knew, perhaps better than most, how dangerous it was to toy with a
Midian.

�Ae
lesson?�

�Once
I was helpless before my tormentor as you are now, and to God I asked for a
chance for vengeance, a chance to return tenfold everything I had suffered and
lost.� The Count�s tone was emotionless, and as he drew back, his dark eyes
seemed to pulse a deep, restless blood red. �A chance to become dam,
arbeh, choshech, makat bechorot, a plague of destruction. God�s
vengeance. The Bird of Hermes.�

Anderson
waited, but Alucard seemed to want a reply. He had no words between them,
and their silence was loud enough for the intrusion of the mundane: outside, a
cat mewled, awaiting scraps; below, the landlady walked heavily with her game
leg down the creaking stair; behind, a woman laughed, knowing and tired and
bitter, then a man�s angry mutter.

He
knew nothing of why Alucard had become the monster he had, only how:
he suspected no one left alive did. Finally, he murmured, �An� yet?�

�And
yet,� Alucard said, his smile twisting now, uneven and ugly, �And yet now I
wonder, had I turned the other cheek, as you do now, priest, would my soul be
now at peace?�

�Ah
cannae answer.�

Alucard
stared at him, as though transfixed by his instant, honest reply, and then he
laughed again, low and wry and soft, and he drew back until he stood at arm�s
length, the shadows writhing over his arms, his form blurring, until the hands
that jailed him to the wall were again gloved in Hellsing�s limiter.
Anderson forced himself not to flinch as fingers encircled his neck, the gloved
pads pressing lightly, almost sensuously, over his jugular, then mockingly
adjusted his clerical collar.

�Scholar
Anderson. It does not sound quite as curious as Father, nor as
romantic as Paladin.�

�Ah
never chose either o� the latter.� Anderson said, watching warily as Alucard
picked up his hand and pulled back his cuff, pressing cool lips against his
wrist. He was glad that with the return of his humanity, the instinctive
desire he felt for the creature�s touch had disappeared.

�And
it took the destruction of your soul for you to find your own way.� A playful
nip, enough to sting, but not enough to break skin.

�The
sacrifice acceptable t�God is ae broken spirit; ae broken an� contrite heart, O
God, ye wouldnae despise.� The words came quickly to his lips, and he felt
the vampire smirk against his flesh.

�The
Book of Comfort, Judas Priest? Is your sin always before you?� Alucard mused,
and dropped his hand, the mockery growing in his tone. �But there is
forgiveness with you, that you may be feared? Gentleness is unlike you and
forgiveness is not in your nature.�

�The
ability to change is only human.� Anderson retorted, watching Alucard�s crimson
eyes widen, then the vampire tilted his head, leant forward, and this time, the
cool brush his lips felt was intimate, soft.

�Then
change, Alex. Show this monster what you�ve learnt from the valley.�

Alucard�s
form seemed to fade into the growing shadow from the sinking sun until it
disappeared, and Anderson let out the breath he had been holding, biting down
hard on his lip until there was only pain. Then he smiled faintly and
thinly to himself, and took one step, two, to the desk, and, the Book beneath
his left palm, he set his glasses before his eyes. But now the faint blur
to his vision seemed only to irritate, and Anderson bowed his head, took a slow
breath, another, and picked the frame from his face, then Alucard�s from the
table, and dropped them both in the waste.

-fin-

Final Notes

Thanks
everyone for reading! Sorry, didn�t feel like writing any further NC17 � it was
a struggle even to keep this chapter PG13ish. It didn�t seem to fit into
the theme of rebirth/redemption/change. Maybe in sequels, but I don�t
know if I�ll write any more. Real life beckons again!

Most
of the phrases in italics are full quotes from psalms. I would list them,
but I�m lazy. Also, I�m not sure if it showed when I was writing, but no
offense was intended through any use of religious text � artistic license is
claimed. I am an atheist. Thanks again for reading!
- 12
- 13
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Psalms for the Fallen

Final Notes