My Own Way

"Mell, wait here." Matt spoke urgently, but Mello was not being left in the car. As the redhead stepped out of the driver\'s seat, Mello opened the passenger side door and landed on the tarmac. It was very cold in Blighty. They appeared to be on a council estate, looking up at a common towerblock. "Mello, please. I need to see what\'s going on up there before you come up."



Mello watched the redhead squirming, which only piqued his interest further. "I promise not to be shocked at your lifestyle." He grinned. In truth, he did feel a little better, physically, though his wounds still felt like they were being burned anew every second. What he really wanted, more than anything, was to be indoors, where he could peel his clothing off and lie naked in a tub of cold water. The car seat had been agony against his back. He knew that he should have let Matt just get a hotel room for them, but that felt too temporary. This was Matt\'s home. Hardly salubrious for a hacker of his calibre.



Matt sighed and came around to help him. The reception area smelt of stale urine. The lift contained empty fish and chip wrappers. The electronic music, when they disembarked on Matt\'s floor, thumped through walls to assail their ears the second the lift doors opened. The navy blue front door, peeling paint along mysterious scratches, practically pulsed with the bassline. The redhead glanced at him, but seemed as closed as ever. "Mell." He paused with his key in the lock. "These are my friends."



"It\'s understood." Mello felt a stab of jealousy that he knew he had no right to feel. Matt had never had friends, other than himself. Whoever they were, they would be leaving soon. He realised what Matt was waiting for and so closed his jacket over his Beretta. "Perfect picture of civility."



"Mello." Matt sighed, but opened his door and helped the blond inside.



Immediately there were voices. "Who\'s that?" A male voice shouted over the heavy beats. Mello gripped Matt\'s waist possessively. He had only known about the females.



It was a teenage girl who came to investigate, her eyes widening in shock at the sight of them. "Matty!" She gasped and there was a stampede to join her. "You\'re alive!" She raced to hug him, despite his obvious encumbrance. Mello winced at the fresh pain that the shockwaves induced, as Matt held her away. "Oh my God!" She shrieked and they were all bouncing up and down in the small hallway.



Matt was crimson. Mello watched him carefully, seeing how much he fled inside himself and that taught him what he needed to know about Matt\'s friends. They didn\'t know him. They knew the aloof bastard that he could be inside his shell. Mello smiled. Matt spoke too softly to be heard, but it was alright, because no-one was really listening to him anyway. "Aimee, I need... I want... erm. Shit." The noise was overpowering, incessant. Matt kicked the door shut behind them and started walking, half-dragging Mello along with him. They passed a bathroom in which someone had thrown up. The floor, walls and underneath of the sink were splattered with regurgetated red wine. The front room was a disaster zone. Drug paraphenalia, take-away boxes, cans and bottles littered most available spaces. The air was thick with smoke. Mello noticed that Matt did not seem surprised. The redhead kicked a space clear on the settee and Mello gratefully sat in it. He smirked at Matt\'s friends, staring at them.



The music was thankfully turned down. It left a vacuum of sound in the air, turning the party into something more awkward. Aimee wrapped herself around Matt\'s neck and he stood wooden beneath it, ineffectively patting her back. "Matty, where have you been, baby? I\'ve been worried sick."



"Aimee, did you pay the rent?"



"Yes. Len gave me receipts."



Now Matt looked surprised. "He did? Wanker never gives me receipts. Anyway, thank you. Erm..." He looked around, his gloved hands in his red hair, tousling it even more so than usual. "This is going to sound awfully rude, but I need you all to... erm..." He floundered, then appeared to recall his ignorant self. "Would you mind leaving us? This is an old friend and he\'s ill. I\'m awfully grateful for everything but..."



One of the young men held out a wad of money towards Matt. "I sold it."



Matt nodded, quickly taking the money and pushing it into his pocket. Mello noted how carefully he didn\'t once glance at him. Matt would have made a useless button. "Thanks. Can I ask you another favour?"



"Of course, man. We\'re blood brothers, aren\'t we?" He reached across and slapped Matt\'s arm. Mello watched him more carefully than all the others, barely blinking as he fixed him in his sights. It didn\'t take long for the man to step back and shuffle uncomfortably, despite the fact that he was clearly high on something. "\'Sup Matt."



Matt was glaring at Mello. Mello noticed and smiled reassurance at him. Matt frowned and turned back to his other friend. "There\'s a car downstairs that\'s got our stuff in it, but it\'s hot. I need to lose it."



There were gasps around the room. One of the girls applauded. She sat on the arm of the settee, her feet on the cushion beside Mello. "Matty\'s a genius, you know?"



Mello blinked, injecting surprise into his tone. "Is he? Wow!"



"Yes, we did an on-line test and he got 136. Genius is 134!"



"Gallagher!" Matt snapped. "Look, I haven\'t slept. I need help here. Please?"



Gallagher shook her head. "You\'re so modest. 136 is something to be proud of!" She turned to Mello again and smiled. Her pupils were huge. "Don\'t you think 136 is good?"



"Oh yes." Mello\'s sarcasm dripped from his voice, but it was entirely lost on her. "I\'m sure he\'s had to dumb down a lot."



"What\'s happened to your face?"



Matt grabbed the arm of the man in front of him. "Stevo, please help me out here? Can you lose the car?" The man nodded and Matt peeled off notes to thrust back into his hand. "Any chance of shoving our stuff in the garage first?"



"I\'ll bring it all up here for you, dude." Stevo turned and took control of the room. "Ok, everyone out. Matt\'s in one of his moods and needs us gone. Party\'s over. Aimee, Gallagher, Kaz, Davey, let\'s go." He flapped his arms, as they dashed around the flat picking up things and shoving them into bags. There was grumbling, but it happened. Nearly half an hour later, the door closed behind them.



Peace descended. Mello turned to survey Matt, sitting silently in an armchair, smoking with a blank expression on his face. "They seemed lovely."



"Mell, don\'t."



Mello eased himself out of his jacket with blessed relief. It had been held loosely over his shoulder, but it had still taken all of his will not to react to the splicing pain beneath. His leather top was next. He noticed that Matt neither looked nor came to help. "IQ of 136 is very impressive, Matty."



"Fuck off."



Mello sucked in a breath, as movement shrieked agony across his neck and chest. "What did you do? Purposefully get some questions wrong?"



"It was just a laugh." Matt sighed deeply. "I\'m sorry you had to see all of this." He gestured around the living room. "It\'s not quite what you\'re used to."



Mello sniggered. "You\'d be amazed." He tensed as the flat door opened again and voices were heard in the hallway. There was a clatter of things being put down.



"It\'s only us, Matty. Nearly done. One more trip." Aimee called back. She didn\'t seem so sunny as before. "Matt, can I have a word please? With you? In private, please?"



The redhead stiffened, but pushed himself out of the chair and headed down the passageway. Mello deflated in his seat, releasing a breath that he had been holding since LA. The bandages irritated him. The fact that that woman wanted to speak to Matt irritated him. The mess in this room irritated him. The realisation that Matt was on drugs too irritated him. The knowledge that he hadn\'t already noticed this irritated him. Life irritated him. The conversation down in the hallway was going on forever, too low for him to hear, through he had excellent hearing. That these people were here and claiming Matt irritated him most of all. The other people managed to finish unloading the car and carting everything back up here, before Aimee and Matt had completed their, oh so important, conversation. Mello heard the unmistakable sound of a kiss and sat up straight, glaring at the passage doorway. Then the front door finally closed on Aimee\'s said, "If you change your mind...?" and Matt reappeared in the room.



"They\'ve gone." Matt sounded upset about it, but headed into the kitchen. The kettle was switched on. He called back. "Can I persuade you to go to hospital in Britain?"



"No." Mello snorted in exasperation. Matt seemed to have no concept of how dangerous Mello\'s situation was. The Mafia did not stop at national boundaries and neither did the police. Kira certainly didn\'t.



Matt didn\'t pursue the matter. "What do you need?" He appeared in the doorway. "I think you need your bandages changing and the wounds cleaning properly again. I couldn\'t do it thoroughly on the plane. Then I think you need rest."



Mello stared at him. "You\'ve kept me alive so far. I\'ll go with what you recommend." Their eyes met and Mello bit his lip. The redhead seemed so exhausted, but still there. It was hard to read him. The goggles and hair made his expression impossible to call. Mello had just emerged from a world where life and death depended upon exploiting a fine web of debts and deals. He knew that he owed Matt more than he would ever have allowed himself to with anyone else. The power balance was all wrong. Matt should either be afraid and cowering or else pressing home his advantage. He shouldn\'t just be standing there giving out no messages at all. Mello didn\'t know whether to pull out his gun or thank him with grovelling tears. It was too much. "What do you recommend?"



"Your bandages are removed in the bath. The water will soften them and it\'ll hurt less. Plus it will be easier to clean the wounds."



Mello nodded. He pictured how that would work. The bath sounded wonderful. Cold water. "Is this a cunning ploy to see me naked?"



Matt backed into the kitchen out of view. There was the clanking of mugs and the hiss of boiling water being poured into them. He returned and placed a black coffee down in front of Mello. "If you think you can do it on your own, I don\'t have to be there."



Mello flinched involuntarily. Matt left to run the bath, returning with the taps gushing away in the bathroom. Mello tried to imagine what it would be like, having Matt\'s eyes on him, naked. Everything in him shied away from it. Something flew through the air and when Mello looked down, it was a pair of knee-length shorts. He frowned at the implication. That Matt didn\'t think Mello felt comfortable flaunting his sex in front of his oldest friend. He frowned deeper at the knowledge that Matt was right. He didn\'t. He reached for his chocolate and bit into it viciously. Out in the passageway again, Matt actually laughed.